Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin have committed to star as a lost, lonesome mother and an escaped convicted murderer who takes refuge with her and her young son in Jason Reitman’s adaptation of Labor Day, EW has learned.
The drama, which is part love story, part coming-of-age tale, and part thriller, has been adapted from the 2009 novel by Joyce Maynard by Reitman. The movie will shoot in 2012 in New England. Both actors are repped by CAA, and Indian Paintbrush is producing.
The same year Maynard’s novel was released, the Thank You For Smoking and Juno director earned Oscar nominations for directing, producing and adapting the screenplay for Best Picture contender Up in the Air. The year before, Winslet earned a Best Actress Oscar for The Reader (after five previous nominations) while Brolin was a Best Supporting Actor contender for Milk.
This is the first time the trio is working together. Set in the early ’80s over the late summer holiday weekend, Labor Day opens with divorced, depressed single mom Adele clothes shopping with her 13-year-old son, Henry. They encounter a large, fearsome man — who also happens to be bleeding badly. He asks for a ride, and against all judgment, they give him one.
Are they hostages, accomplices… or just deluded? As police search town for the escaped convict, the mother and son gradually learn his true story and their options become more and more limited.
-Joey's Two Cents: So far, Reitman hasn't let me down yet, and seems to be improving with every outing, so I'm looking forward to this...thoughts?
The actress replaced Angelina Jolie and Karen Elson who formerly endorsed the brand.
Reports regarding a row between the brand and Jolie started coming last year, when some of the media channels claimed that, Jolie had some issues regarding the outfits that she was required to put on for the brand.
The brand managers said that they roped in Winslet to endorse the 2011 line as, she best exemplifies the brand’s contemporary sensibility.
On the other hand, Winslet said that, she took up the offer as she feels that the brand symbolizes the dressing and living style of today’s women. She said that the brand’s collection is stylish and elegant, and that she is thrilled to be associated with the brand.
Let's face it... Tim Burton may or may not be a weird guy, but his work is definately out there... let's discuss his biggest hits, and my favorites of his work...
"Pee Wee's Big Adventure" (1985)... Most people now recognize Paul Reubens as Pee Wee Herman and automatically associate him with that, ahem, adult men's theater incident, but back in the 80's, he was a rockstar. This movie was quirky, it was an oddity, and it was absolutely hilarious.
"Beetlejuice" (1988)... Michael Keaton went from Mr. Mom to an absolute genius in this flick, again, a really odd, but absolutely fantastic dark comedy.
"Batman" (1989)... Before "The Dark Knight", before the franchise became a joke in "Batman & Robin", there was Tim Burton's first movie, with Michael Keaton, fresh off of "Beetlejuice", being the most unlikely Bruce Wayne--and perhaps the best until Christian Bale. But, let's be honest, Jack as The Joker is what everyone remembers.
"Edward Scissorhands" (1990)... Tim Burton's first real collaboration with Johnny Depp was very unusual. It was a love story... with knives for fingers.
"Mars Attacks!" (1996)... After "Independence Day" a few years prior, this film was timed perfectly. A campy send-up of alien invasion flicks featuring Jack Nicholson as the President, uttering the classic line "I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad." Oh, and if you don't know who Slim Whitman is, you will after seeing this film.
To say that the Tim Burton vision of "Alice in Wonderland" is strange is not a stretch. Its a strange, strange movie. Its a strange, colorful, imaginative journey that doesn't so much re-tell the story of Alice in Wonderland as much as it expands and continues the story.
It begins with a now 19 year-old Alice who only remembers her journey through the land she knows as Wonderland as a dream that she keeps having night after night. Alice is bossed around by her mom and her potential dorkface suitor, much like Rose DeWitt Bukater was before running around the ship with Jack Dawson, and ends up running away from it all... right into a rabbit hole.
You are immediately re-introduced to the characters, or a close image of what you think those characters are. I would imagine that most people's concept of Alice and characters like Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the March Hare, the White Rabbit and of course, the Mad Hatter are from the Disney animated film, not necessarily from Lewis Carroll's two books, that being "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass"... that's my perspective because I have seen the 1951 Disney film and have never read the books at all.
Tim Burton's characters in this story somehow have backstories, and some of them even have real names other than "Caterpiller" and "Mad Hatter" and "Red Queen". Alice finds them, and they tell her that because of a... well, a prophecy of sorts... she has to face a creature called The Jabberwocky (also known as a poem written by Lewis Carroll about a creature of the same name), slay said creature and order will be restored to the land--ie, everyone will stop following the Red Queen, played in essence by Helena Bonham Carter, aka Tim's boo, and start following her sister, The White Queen, played dreamily by Anne Hathaway.
The story itself is fine, the plot is somewhat silly, even for a movie that is sort of supposed to be silly, and Danny Elfman's score really kind of underwhelms you. That being said, I had a good time with it. Much of Underland (which is the real name for Wonderland) is done in CGI, and I enjoyed many of the characters in a way that I had not really gotten to know them in the original animated film. Remember, in that version, Alice goes from scene to scene to scene, with some characters to not be seen again, while here, most of the characters remain throughout the entire movie. Burton himself said he never felt a emotional connection to other film adaptations and always thought it was a some girl wondering around from one crazy character to another. So with this, he attempted to create a framework, an emotional grounding, which he felt he never really had seen in any version before. He said that was the challenge for him - to make Alice feel like a story as opposed to a series of events.
Anyway, to finish up the plot, there's the big creature named Jabberwocky, and the Red Queen screamed "off with your head!" alot, and for some reason there is a battle at the end that doesn't last long and... well, you'll just have to see it to make any sense out of the silliness.
Maybe the weakest link in the entire movie is Alice herself, played by relative newcomer Mia Wasikowska. She does Alice very subdued, almost too quiet, possibly in an effort to play up the fact that Alice spends much of the movie assuming she's dreaming everything. I almost wanted her to be more... well, vocal. A little louder, a little more surprised by the things she found, a little less whiny when presented with things she had to face.
Crispin Glover, the dad from "Back to the Future" and known in Hollywood as a very weird guy, played Stayne, the Knave of Hearts and 2nd in command to the Red Queen and he was brilliant.
Of course, the star of the film? Johnny Depp. Much ado had been made about his Mad Hatter costume and performance, and really, love him or hate him, Depp delivers, no matter who he is playing. And here is no different. Hair like Bozo the Clown, gapped teeth, wide-eyed and strange accent that wavers between British, Scottish and Nonsensish, Depp immerses himself into The Mad Hatter in a way that you'd never imagine from the original Disney film.
I liked the film overall, and in many ways, I think I liked it better than the 1951 animated version. That one was okay, it was a bit trippy for my tastes, and to me, Tweedledee and Tweedledum whole scene in that one was... well, ridiculous. In this Tim Burton version, I loved T'dee and T'dum, I loved their accents, I loved the way they were presented onscreen, I loved the interaction between them, it was great.
Perhaps its not really fair to compare the animated version with this one, as it is so completely different, but I guess there were just more things about this one I liked. I always like Anne Hathaway in anything that doesn't include "Royal Engagament" or "Brokeback Mountain", and the voice cast was stellar. Listen up for Alan Rickman's voice here too.
Oh, and I loved the cards. Again, the movie was a bit too much CGI'y for me, but the Card Guards were great.
The Lovely Steph Leann and I ended up watching it in 3D, not because we thought it would be worth it in 3D--it wasn't, I would suggest all of you go see it in 2D and save about $4 per ticket... but because the 3D version not only had the new Toy Story 3 trailer, but also the new trailer for "Tron Legacy". And if you think I wasn't as giddy as Brad Latta at a Dubya War Crimes hearing, you'd be wrong.
By the way--and I speak to all those 30 and up... was there a cooler movie when you were a little kid than "Tron"? And to think, here's a sequel coming, one that has real potential. Did you know that Walt Disney World is going to put a light cycle overlay on its monorails this fall, in promotion of the movie?
I think I need to go find the original "Tron" and watch it again. Just not tonight. I'm tired. That's why this review rambled everywhere...
For all you kids who think the interweb has been around forever, here's the trailer from the original movie in 1982... cheesy as it might look, remember back then, this was revolutionary.
So there are your Golden Globe awards for another year. I'll be back in a few days with more Idol, and another few installments of our Top 100 Coolest Things of the Year...
11:41p... Ricky Gervais appears once more, thanks the crowd, does one more shill for his TV show... and thats it. There are the Golden Globes, short (3 hours doing movies AND television) and sweet.
11:37p... Julia Roberts is out here to give away the award for Best Picture. It's "Avatar", which now has the momentum to carry it to the Oscars for Best Picture. Sigh.
11:31p.. Ah, Kate Winslet. I love me some Kate Winslet. Here's Best Actor in a Drama... one of the nominees is the President of The Lovely Steph Leann's Colin Firth Club, Colin Firth. He doesn't win, though... it goes to Jeff Bridges for "Crazy Heart"... and its awesome, because the entire room is giving him a standing ovation.
"You are really tearing up my under-appreciated status here," he says. He then calls out "my beautiful wife... get a shot of her!" Then sends a nod to his dad, the late, great Lloyd Bridges. Jeff is one of those actors who you never think about how good he is, and then you realize how much awesome stuff he's been in... "Tron"... "Starman"... "The Fabulous Baker Boys"... "Iron Man"... "The Last Picture Show"... "Surf's Up"... and of course, "The Big Lebowski"... great career.
11:28p... Some chick who's name I missed is doing Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical. And the winner? Another shocker... Robert Downey Jr in "Sherlock Holmes". Really? Well... he made that film what it was... and he gives the best speech of the night, slightly edging Drew Barrymore just for comedy content...
11:24p... Mickey Rourke's Corpse comes out wearing a terrible hat and terrible suit, to give away Best Actress in a Drama. The winner? Sandra Bullock for "The Blind Side"... wow... seriously, didn't see that coming at all. The Lovely Steph Leann screamed again. Hey, I'm not saying she didn't earn it, but wow... I really thought it would be one of those "your reward is being nominated" for Sandy... but rock on.
Also... Mickey looked like he threw up in his mouth a little when he announced Sandy Bullock winning. Here is a pic of Mickey before the plastic surgery (inset) and the after shot.
11:22p... Ah-nald is out to introduce "Avatar" as a Best Picture nominee, takes a dig at NBC ("the only way that James Cameron would make more money is if he were hired by NBC... then fired by NBC").
11:20p... Is anyone else as NOT stoked about the Winter Olympics as I am?
11:20p... Uh... Mike Tyson is standing onstage, a part of a group who just won a Golden Globe Award for a movie, the same stage that Mo'Nique stood on after winning an acting award of her very own. I'm not joking.
11:19p... And Ashley Judd Club member Reese Witherspoon is out to give away Best Picture Comedy or Musical. How great would this be if "The Hangover" won? AND IT WINS!!!! THAT IS SO AWESOME!!!
11:18p... The guys from "The Hangover", including Mike Tyson, are out to introduce their own movie... this movie is awesome.
11:15p... Jack Bauer and Olivia Wilde come out to give away the award for Best Comedy or Musical TV Series.... The Lovely Steph Leann might go postal if "Glee" doesn't win... or she might do the same if it does win. Dunno. There are a thousand people onstage, including Jayma Mays (left).
The winner? "Glee". The Lovely Steph Leann just screamed loudly. The blood that is slowly trickling from my right ear I'm sure will dry on my wife-beater t-shirt.
11:09p... Jodie Foster comes out and introduces "The Hurt Locker", an awesome, amazing movie. Ricky Gervais, beer in hand, says, "Cheers." Then he says, "If I offended anyone, its the beer... I love to drink as much as the next man... unless the next man is... Mel Gibson..."
Mel Gibson is here to introduce the Best Director nominees. I miss Fun Mel Gibson. When he's not going off on cops and fathering children with nannies, he's a great guy to watch. The winner? James Cameron for "Avatar". I was expecting Kathryn Bigelow for "The Hurt Locker", but I'm kinda wondering if this is a foretelling of whats to come at Academy Awards night--Cameron winning, and "Avatar" winning Best Picture, which I'm totally opposed to... not that they will ask my opinion.
10:56p... And here is the CC DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement, which usually takes about 20 minutes. This one goes to Martin Scorsese. They do a pan shot to Brenden Fraser. Who invited that guy?
Anyway, let's talk about the movies Scorsese has done... "Goodfellas"... "Aviator"... "Raging Bull"... "Taxi Driver"... "The Color of Money"... "The Departed"... "Cape Fear"... "Casino"... "Gangs of New York"... even his crap, like "Bringing Out the Dead" was good crap. For what its worth, I lift my coffee cup to you, Marty Scorsese.
10:52p... Ricky Gervais digs on Halle Berry in "Catwoman" before bringing her out. I will always like Halle Berry, if only because she actually showed up at The Razzie Awards to accept her Worst Actress Award for "Catwoman". The Best Supporting Actor goes to... Christoph Waltz for "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children", which I predicted, because he was amazing in that movie. As he gets his award from Halle, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "She's thinking 'please don't kiss me!'"
10:49p... Supporting Actress in TV Series, Mini Series or Movie. "Glee"'s Jane Lynch is nominated, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I'm gonna be so mad if 'Glee' doesn't win anything!" Well, get mad, cause the chick from "Big Love" won. The Lovely Steph Leann shouts, "Dang it!"
10:48p... Team Jacob comes out, much to the delight of a million and four girls age 14 and under, to introduce "(500) Days of Summer". I liked it. I didn't love it. It was cute, but it wasn't the brilliant film that I was hearing about from everyone... though its use of "You Make My Dreams Come True" by Hall and Oates might be brilliant in in of itself.
10:44p... Amy Poehler and Zack Levi come out to introduce Best Series Drama, including "Dexter", "Big Love", "House", "Mad Men" and "True Blood"... the winner? "Mad Men". I've seen one episode of this show, and I'm already hooked. I'm totally getting the DVDs.
10:39... The baddest mofo on the planet, Samuel L. Jackson, is here to introduce "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children", which is in my top ten movies of the year. He then introduces Sophia Loren as a "real, live movie star", and she gets a standing ovation. She looks great for 113 years old. Those glasses are horrific, though. "That is a shame," The Lovely Steph Leann comments.
She's here to introduce Best Foreign Language Film... Baaria... Broken Embraces... The Maid... Un Prophete... and The White Ribbon from Germany, which is going to win... and... and... and... it does. Its about kids on the eve of some day in World War II. That's got Oscar all over it.
Of course, wouldn't it be interesting to see "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children"--about Nazi killing Jews--and "The White Ribbon"--about German kids in World War II--go head to head.
10:38p... Maggie Gyllenhaal reminds us to give to Haiti. She looks ghastly.
10:36p... Jennifer Garner, who is probably not nominated for "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past", and Ashton Kutcher, who is probably not nominated for anything, is giving out Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical--The Lovely Steph Leann claps when the guy from "Glee" is announced as a nominee. Alec Baldwin wins, but is nowhere to be found, as he's off doing charity for the Haitian Nation.
10:33p... Ricky Gervais introduces "Rachel from Friends and that bloke from 300"... So Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston come out to give away Best Screenplay. A huge catagory, all five great movies... the winner is Jason Reitman for "Up in the Air"... my favorite film from 2009. I admit it.
10:31p... Cameron Diaz comes out and says, "THIS is the film where Meryl Streep DOES sleep with Alec Baldwin". She's referring to "Its Complicated", of course. Cameron Diaz hasn't been pretty or talented since the first "Charlie's Angels" movie. Just sayin'.
10:28p... Me: So you don't like Drew's dress, huh? The Lovely Steph Leann: NO! Drew gives a shout out to Mo'Nique... and then gives the most honest, best, most genuine speech of the entire night. She's flustered, she's fumbling, she's speaking 90 to nothing... Rock on, Drew Barrymore.
Drew Barrymore: I'm humbled and honored
The Lovely Steph Leann: What is that thing on her hip? Like, its bad enough on her shoulder... but her hips too?
10:24p... The "Avatar" costars are out to do the Best Actor in TV Movie or Mini-Series. Winner? Kevin Bacon for "Taking Chance", a movie that I had on DVR for about six months... then deleted without watching. He was also nominated for... "The River Wild", back in the 90's, also starring... Meryl Streep.
And while we are at it, Best Actress in a TV Movie or Mini-Series.... I want Drew Barrymore to win, so The Lovely Steph Leann will go off again about Drew's dress. The winner is... Drew Barrymore for "Grey Gardens"! She was my favorite bad girl back in the 90s... and its her first Golden Globe win. That's just awesome...
10:22p... Could Helen Mirran be the most attractive 83 year old in the history of the world? Seriously. She always looks so, so classy and uppity. She introduces "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire". Now I'm depressed.
10:18p... Ricky Gervais makes a drunk Irish joke, then introduces Colin Firth, who introduces the Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical. The winner goes to... Meryl Streep for "Julie & Julia"... yay! The Tuch looks on, and seems proud. The Lovely Steph Leann was rooting for Sandy Bullock in "The Proposal".
I notice that as Meryl Streep talks, the music doesn't play. The band director is asking the show director "Do I start?" and the show director is saying, "Are you kidding? This is Meryl Streep. DO NOT cut off Meryl Streep..."
10:15p... Tom Hanks: "I'm here to introduce the movie that features Meryl Streep, and in this one she doesn't end up in bed with Alec Baldwin, but instead ends up in bed with Stanley Tucci, a step up..." Its "Julie & Julia", which was a great film, featuring the aforementioned Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and a great turn by Meryl Streep.
10:10p... Yay! Its Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with! The Lovely Steph Leann said, "Is she pregnant?" and I said, "Yes, but its not mine, I promise." I got an eye roll. Anyway, the nominees for best TV Movie or Mini Series. The winner is "Grey Gardens", and whoever got up to accept the award turned her back to the camera, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oh no! That dress is terrible!" Then she proceeds to rip Drew Barrymore a new one for "that thing on her shoulder... and oh my lord, she's got one on her waist too!"
10:08p... The score from "Up" is nominated for Best Score, and I hope it wins... it was wonderful. The winner? "Up"! Its awesome. Its so... well, perfect. It takes you through those first gut-wretching, hard to watch, can't look away 9 minutes of that movie.
10:05p... Cher and Christina Aguliera are in a movie together, something called "Burlesque". They are here to do the awards for Song from a Movie. Cher looks terrible. Not sure she could smile if she wanted to. Christina... not too bad. Its been a long time, Christina. Glad to see you back. I was guessing "Winter" by U2, from "Brothers", was going to win, to make up for the loss a few years ago when Three 6 Mafia took home the Oscar for "Its Hard Out Here for a Pimp" over U2's song from "Gangs of New York".
Who won? The song from "Crazy Heart", which I should have guessed. Its a country music movie about a hard drinking country star fallen from grace. Shoulda known.
10:03p... Here's the ever grumpy Harrison Ford. Seriously... this guy is not only Han Solo, but also Indiana Jones, plus he was in "Witness"! He was in "The Mosquito Coast"! He was in "American Graffiti"! Harrison! You've led an incredible life. Smile once in a while, bucky.
9:59p... Best actress in a TV Series Drama... All five women in shows I've never seen. Julianna Margulies for "The Good Wife", which I have heard is a great show. I just don't have time for more TV shows!!!
9:57p... Best performances in drama! Actor in a TV Series Drama... and the winner is Michael C. Hall for "Dexter", in his cancer-like knit cap. I remember him as the gay brother in "Six Feet Under".
9:52p... And someone who hasn't been talented or pretty since "Amost Famous" its Kate Hudson! And here's Mrs. William H. Macy, Felicity Huffman, completely fumbling and stumbling through the teleprompter to tell us who the Hollywood Foreign Press Association actually is... we meet the president, Philip Burk, who isn't the same Philip Burk I remember from the Lambda Chi house back in 1995. And we still don't know what the HFPA does.
9:48p... The Animated Film Award, which will either go to "Up" or "The Fabulous Mr. Fox"... I hope that Pixar is not being held back because of its previous winnings... like a "They've won so many, so let's give it to someone else" kind of mentality. The winner? "Up". Ha! I knew it! The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Yes!!"
9:48p... I hold the personal belief that Sir Paul McCartney stopped being relevant about thirteen years ago. Just sayin'.
9:44p... Yay! Its Mama Gilmore and some guy that I sort of recognize. Mama Gilmore looked better on the show. Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, TV Movie or Mini-Series. Its Doogie! Everyone loves Doogie! The winner, though? John Lithgow wins for "Dexter". I don't even think I knew he was on that show until yesterday, when The Sports Guy mentioned him in a podcast that I was listening too. They cut to Michael C. Hall, the star of "Dexter", who is sporting some sort of knit skull cap--what, does he have cancer?
9:41p... Best Actress in a TV Series Comedy or Musical. Matthew Fox is out there with someone that I don't recognize (I think its the chick from "Modern Family"), she's trying to get out her names, and its hard to understand her. The Lovely Steph Leann claps when the chick from Glee is mentioned as a nominee. Toni Collette wins for "The United States of Tara", which I could have predicted as soon as that show premiered last January... Toni Collette is playing a woman with like, five personalities. If that doesn't get you an award, I'm not sure what does.
9:38p... Let me be clear. Mo'Nique just won an acting award. And she's going to tell us about all the beaten and abused women out there... and I was right. "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire" is a movie that I want to see. Then again, I don't.
9:36p... Nicole Kidman looks like a wax figure. She's here to present the award for Best Supporting Actress... Penelope Cruz is one of those chicks that I should find attractive, but don't. Same goes for Vera Fermiga. Not so much for Mo'Nique. Julianne Moore and Anna Kendrick I do find attractive. And in the "Yep, saw that coming" moment, Mo'Nique picks up the award for "Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire".
9:34p... And he makes some pee-pee jokes... and jokes on Angelina Jolie and her 4,992 kids... and then says, "Let's get on it with, before NBC replaces me with Jay Leno." Knew that was coming!
9:31p... Our host is Ricky Gervais, British comic and star of the British show "The Office", which is where our "The Office" is based from. The Golden Globes is awarded from The Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which is a group that I have no clue what they are about. Ricky comes out and takes digs at Steve Carrell, who portray's Gervais' American character. Then he takes a dig at NBC (who doesn't).
9:29p... And now... the Golden Globes have started. Finally.
9:25p... The Lovely Steph Leann is still talking. The show still hasn't started for us. I've been careful to avoid E! Network or EW.com or Showbiz Tonight on CNN or anything else that might allude to who won what award. So far. Not sure how much longer I can keep this fast up.
9:15p... And now I wait for The Lovely Steph Leann to quit her yapping so we can turn on The Golden Globes Awards show, the show that started almost 2 and a half hours ago--I had high hopes that if we started at 7:30, even 8, we could fast forward through what we wanted to, and catch up to the live show. But alas.
9:13p... We're in! We booked, we're all set, we have a room at All Star Sports for The Lovely Steph Leann and I, then an All Star Music Suite for Karen, Eric and the childrens. Again... you call until you get the answer you want. And we got the answer we wanted. Rock on.
8:59p... We are traveling with the cousin of The Lovely Steph Leann, Karen, and Karen's husband Eric, and their two children, Wyatt and Hannah. Both kids are severly autistic, which is something that I know about.. but don't know about. So, like, I don't know much about "how that works".
8:53p... Finally, back from on hold... and our Cast Member we are talking to is named Elisa. She rocks. Seriously...
8:46... Still on hold
8:22pm... The Golden Globes officially started at 7pm, which is 5pm California time. However, we've got it on DVR, and we haven't started it yet... why? First, I had to work tonight until 7pm at The Happiest Place in the Mall. Then, when I got off at 7pm, I had to stop by Subway to bring home some Eat Fresh for dinner. Upon arrival at home, circa 7:30, The Lovely Steph Leann was busy as a bee putting up Christmas ornaments into their proper boxes (this is a daunting task that I usually do every year, but this year she's assisting). I sat down, put the Eat Fresh sandwiches off to the side, fired up the laptop and pulled up a blank blogpage.
"Can you call Disney and find out rates for our March trip?" The Lovely Steph Leann asked. I sighed. I stared at the remote, at the Eat Fresh sandwiches, at the computer and sighed again. This was going to take a while.
See, here's the thing... as much as I love my own company, the one I work for and will be a part of for at least the next 3 and 1/2 months, their reservation system for Cast Members is... well, sometimes rather incompetant. Put it this way--most of the time, you call until you get the answer you want, and then you book it then, just like tonight. I've talked to four Cast Members over six phone calls (the first my phone dropped out, and I threw it, and the second, I got transferred in error to the wrong person, who put me on hold for many, many minutes--which means I hung up and threw it. I don't do well being on hold for stupid reasons. Just sayin'). Anyway, I finally called back, and got someone now who is supposed to help me book our final trip before I leave The Happiest Place in the Mall in April.
We continue our countdown of the Coolest Things of 2009... and looking at the next ten, this might be the "Guilty Pleasurest" block of ten in the five year history of The Coolest List. Not all of them, but some. Several. And if you are on Facebook, flip on over to The Clouds and see the blog in its better glory.
80... Kate Winslet Gets an Oscar Beyond The Goddess, beyond Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, a founding member of my own Colin Firth Club that The Lovely Steph Leann keeps tucked away is none other than British actress Kate Winslet. She'd been nominated six times for an Academy Award, but on Sunday, February 22nd, she finally got hers... in my running diary, I posted this:
1032p... KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!!!!! KATE WINSLET WINS AN OSCAR!!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!!
1035p... We knew Kate Winslet would win this, but that doesn't make it any less freakin' awesome. KATE KATE KATE!!!
Needless to say, I was excited. Still am.
79... Pickler's New Album For anyone who has read this blog longer than a few days, you'll realize a few things. First, Mama Gilmore is much more attractive than Daughter Gilmore. Secondly, Hootie & the Blowfish rocks. Third, I love stupid movies. Fourth, I eat lots of food. Fifth, I believe the Dixie Chicks only deserved a small part of what they got. Sixth, He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected is a one-term president. Seventh, if back massages were on Facebook, I'd hit the "dislike" button. Eighth, I will only watch "A Christmas Story" on Christmas Eve, and refuse to buy it. Ninth, Erin the Marine Wife is to be commended. Finally, I think Pickles is awesome.
Her first CD, "Small Town Girl", was pretty good for a post-Idol debut, better than even Kat McPhee's decently good CD. So, when Pickles second album came rollin' out, I went to Best Buy and I bought it. Yeah, I might be the only person you know that owns a Pickles CD, but hey, I dig it. Favorite track? The great, soarin' vocals of "Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You". I would post a pic of Pickles here, but 1) I'm running out of good pictures to post for Idol blog references, and 2) not enough room for the above picture of Kate and the below picture of...
78.. Jon Thompson
One of the four guys I took with me to Walt Disney World(that trip to be ranked later), this dude cracked me up the entire time. Example... with five guys in a single room with two beds, I had to sleep next to someone. One of the guys slept on the floor. And Jon had to sleep with one of them. The one that Jon had to sleep with decided he would just sleep naked. Naturally, Jon had a real problem with this... so much so that he leapt out of bed, and started yelling things like, " Why would you do this? Why! Why can't you keep your shorts on? What the crap, dude?"
And, being guys, we all turned it around on him--telling him things like, "Settle down, go to bed" and "Seriously, its not a big deal." Personally, I totally agreed with Jon--who wants to sleep next to a naked guy? The Lovely Steph Leann doesn't even want that, and I'm her hubby!
He ended up sleeping next to his "bed-mate" who agreed to wear shorts. Later, I discovered that said bed-mate actually de-shorted during the night and re-shorted before Jon woke up. I think I laughed for quite a while as all this was going on.
He kept the riot going on the way back, marveling at the luck and blessed life of one Tyler Campbell, the bro-in-law, who won a randomly won a car and gave swimming lessons for like, $70 an hour. Jon? He worked at a screen printing shop that, after three years, "I'm somehow making less money than when I started! While I'm on the other side of the tracks, Tyler is over there living in the bourgeois!'. Course, bourgeois actually means "social middle class". Who knew. Jon rocks.
Out of all the movies I saw in 2009, I would rank this one somewhere in the middle. It was good, but it wasn't great. It had its moments, but like my original review, "...with this movie, you know what you are going to get... lots of historical figures making pop culture references, lots of funny action and Ben Stiller doing what he does best."
This movie itself doesn't make our list, but one of the two standout performances does--first, Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with. Secondly, and more importantly (for this movie, anyway), its Hank Azaria's absolutely hysterical performances. He "not only plays Kahmunrah to the hilt, leaving you convinced that he had a blast playing this part, but he also does the voice of the Brooklyn-accented Thinker sculpture and of Abe Lincoln, fresh out of the Lincoln Memorial." His Kahmunrah voice is especially great, slightly feminine and non-threatening, and he makes for the best part of the movie that doesn't include a redhead.
76... The Muppets Do Queen Kermit, Miss Piggy, Beaker, Dr. Bunson Honeydew and the gang are making a comeback...
\
...and its awesome
75... "Hey" by Mitchell Musso Uh... a fun song.. makes me kinda bouncy and... uh... its... um...
74... "High School Musical" Um... I saw the movie off and on... we, uh, at The Happiest Place in the Mall we played... and... I really like the them song and... well... uh...
73... "The Hoedown Throwdown" by Miley Cyrus Uh... its... the movie was terrible but this... I like this song and uh...
Boom clap, boom de clap de clap, boom boom clap, boom de clap de clap, come on y'all, boom clap boom...
Everybody! Boom de clap de clap...
Boom boom clap?
Anyone?
(silence)
(crickets)
Let's move on, shall we?
72... ESPN's "30 for 30" The concept is brilliant, really. To celebrate ESPN's 30th Anniversary, they brought in 30 different directors and/or directing teams from all walks of life, all lifestyles, all film styles, to direct 30 different sports documentaries on subjects near and dear to their own hearts.
The results thus far have been golden. First up was "King's Ransom", a mildly entertaining film about Gretsky's trade from the Oilers to the Kings, which I never knew was such a monumental, watershed moment for both Gretsky and the NHL... Peter Berg directed.
What followed was "Muhammed and Larry", chronicling the fourth bout between Ali and Homes, directed by Albert Maysles... "The Legend of Jimmy the Greek", about the slow rise and quick fall of a commentator legend, directed by Fritz Mitchell... "The Band That Wouldn't Die", an awesome look at the Baltimore Colts marching band that kept playing for over a dozen years after the Colts fled for Indy, directed by famed director Barry Levinson("Diner", "Good Morning Vietnam", "Rain Man").
The only one I really didn't like as much was "The U", directed by Billy Corben, scanning the Miami Hurricanes teams of the 80s... it showed the teams, the successes, but didn't really spend too much time into the real issues of the team's problems. Personally, I wished it would have talked about the crash of the program, not just the rise, but alas, I didn't direct it.
The two I loved, though? "Without Bias", directed by Kirk Fraser, about the incredible impact that the death of Len Bias had on the Boston Celtics. Two days after the NBA Draft, Bias dropped dead of a cocaine overdose, he not only altered our perception of casual drug use and became the tipping point of America's drug crisis in the mid-80s, but he practically ruined an already floundering franchise right as it was about to find a guy who they could build around.
Secondly, "Small Potatoes: Who Really Killed the USFL?", directed by Mike Tollin which showed the success of the USFL, attempting spring football, leaving the NFL in the fall--and they were doing pretty good with it... but it took a dive, due to over-expansion, bad management, and one Donald Trump who bought into the league, and wanted to immediately move it to the fall, taking on the NFL head-to-head. After a monoply & anti-trust lawsuit against the NFL, the verdict came back in favor of the USFL... in the form of a check for $3.76. The USFL went belly up. The documentary is made even better by the interview with Donald Trump, who ends up walking out on Mike Tollin.
Ahead are films on the legend of Steve Bartman... speedskater Johan Olav Koss... NASCAR driver Tim Richmond and the little disease that killed his career... and even one featuring Michael Jordan's suspension from the NBA for gambl... um, I mean, his retirement for two years to try out baseball. Oh, and Ice Cube puts his touch on a film about the Raiders. Good times.
71... Read the Rules, Shankapotomus The Lovely Steph Leann prefers the one where the buddy "flexes the golden pipes", but personally, this is my favorite commercial of the year...
Coming up... An Idol goes Kanye... The Best Greek Film of the Year... and later, noddin' my head like yeah, movin' my hips like yeah...
Pretty woman Julia Roberts is the new global ambassadress for Lancome, People.com reports.
"By her remarkable personality and career, Julia Roberts is an emblematic woman of her time," Youcef Nabi, president of Lancôme International, said in a statement.
"Her exceptional talent, her radiance and her strong commitments perfectly echo Lancôme's values. We are convinced she will embody the brand in the most sublime way possible."
The specifics of her role have yet to be announced.
Lancome's gallery of stars includes Kate Winslet, Anne Hathaway, Juliette Binoche and Clive Owen.
1059p... Good night, folks. Coming Tuesday? The Top Twenty Coolest Things of 2008.
1055p... And thats a wrap. "Slumdog Millionaire" goes home with like, 8 Oscars. And to end the night, we see a cool preview of movies coming up this year... and we're all pumped. Rob Downey Jr in "Sherlock Holmes", and Denzel in "The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3" and Pixar's new film "Up!" and "Terminator Salvation" and an Amelia Earhardt biography and Tarantino's new one and Amy Adams in "Night at the Museum 2" and "Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince" and Tom Hank's hair in "Angels & Demons" and "Ice Age 13" and Eddie Murphy's new bomb... rock on.
1053p... "Slumdog Millionaire" completes the Oscar domination, whether it deserved it or not. The Lovely Steph Leann finishes her night with 63 points, Mikey with 49 and I get up to 28.
1048p... Steven Spielberg comes out to not only give away Best Picture, but to introduce a montage of clips from the nominees, intersparsed with clips from other Best Picture winners and nominees (and in the case of "Saving Private Ryan", movies that should have won--it lost to "Shakespear in Love")
1046p... Sean Penn then rails against the people, the majority mind you, who voted for the ban on gay marriage in California, then shows some love to Barack Obama. Then he shows particular love to Mickey Rourke specifically.
1042p... And the Oscar goes to... Sean Penn in "Milk". The Lovely Steph Leann goes to 58 points, leaving Mikey with 44 and myself with 23. "I want to make it very clear that I know how hard I make it to appreciate me," says Sean Penn, after calling the audience commie, homo lovin' sons of guns.
1036p... Here comes the Best Actor winners, with previous winners Robert DeNiro, Ben Kingsley, Michael Douglas, Anthony Hopkins and... Adrian Brody? All those legendary actors, and Adrian Brody? What was Al Pacino doing, making another crappy-end-of-his-career movie like "88 Minutes"?
Michael Douglas, one of my favorite actors, instroduces "Frost/Nixon". Robert DeNiro discusses Sean Penn, who actually smiles. I've seen him smile three times already--I don't know what got into him. Adrian Brody discusses Richard Jenkins, a character actor that you have seen in lots and lots of movies, yet you probably can't think of any of them, only to think "I've seen that guy somewhere!"
Anthony Hopkins talks about Brad Pitt, and that leaves Ben Kingsley to discuss Mickey Rourke.
1035p... We knew Kate Winslet would win this, but that doesn't make it any less freakin' awesome. KATE KATE KATE!!!!
Here is My Dear Kate's speech at the Golden Globes in January
1032p... KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!!!!! KATE WINSLET WINS AN OSCAR!!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!!
1025p... Now its time for Best Actress, as they show previous winners. Presenting this year is Sophie Loren, Shirley MacLaine, Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard.
Shirley is speaking of Anne Hathaway, and it looks like Anne is about to cry. Marion is struggling to spit out English to My Dear Kate, who looks ravishing. Halle is introducing Melissa Leo, from some movie called "Frozen River", a movie that I'll never see, I'm sure. Sophie Loren, looking like a mummy, is discussing Meryl Streep, and Nicole Kidman is introducing Angelina Jolie.
1020p... She's here to give out the Best Director award, and of course, it goes to Danny Boyle, "Slumdog Millionaire". The Lovely Steph Leann approached fifty points with 48, Mikey has 39, I had 18.
1018p... Reese Witherspoon, a full member of The Ashley Judd Club, cause frankly, Reese is hot. Really, really hot.
1015p... Mikey and I were discussing Brad Pitt, and he asks me if I had seen the new trailer for Quentin Tarantino's new film, "Inglourious Basterds". Oh yes, I tell him, yes I have. And its glourious. Inglourious. Whatever...
I'd say this trailer is PG-13... the movie will most definately be Rated R. And Brad Pitt's accent rocks.
1011p... Queen Latifah, who had a great talk show that I do miss, but not as much as Ricki Lake, introduces the In Memoriam montage of people who have passed. She is singing "I'll Be Seeing You" as we see Bernie Mac, Ollie Johnston, Isaac Hayes (who gets a big applause), Ricardo Montalbon (another big applause), Van Johnson, Michael Crichton, Charlton Heston, directors Sydney Pollack and Anthony Minghella, character actor Pat Hingle and of course, Paul Newman at the end, who gets the biggest applause.
You kinda feel bad for people like Ned Taven, who no one claps for.
We were wondering if they are going to show Heath Ledger again... they showed him last year, as the Oscars in 2008 were right after he died.
1008p... I'm currently 6-14. If I were a college football team, I feel like Charlie Weis would be my coach.
1005p... Hugh Jackman is back, welcoming Liam Nieson and Frieda Pinto from... you guessed it, "Slumdog Millionaire", giving out the award for Best Ferrin Film. I went with "Waltzing with Bashir" because it was the only one I'd heard of. The winner is? "Departures" from Japan. None of us won it.
10p... Then all three sings all three songs together. Peter Gabriel is probably outside kicking small animals. Or Verne Troyer.
Zac and Alecia announces the nominees again. The winner is? "Jai Ho" from "Slumdog Millionaire." The Lovely Steph Leann runs to 43, Mikey to 34... and Yours Truly to 13.
Can I just say it... "Slumdog Millionaire" was a good film. But it is nowhere near as good as this. Not all these awards. Its supposed to be "inspiring" and "uplifting". I was neither "inspired" or "lifted up", I was just mildly entertained. Seriously.
956p... The Indian version of Jesse McCartney sings, "O Saya" from "Slumdog". Then, John Legend sings "Down to Earth". Then Indian Jesse McCartney teams with the Indian Britney, singing "Jai Ho".
950p... The montage of songs nominated for Best Score, done by the orchestra. Alecia Keyes and Zac Efron come out to announce the nominees. The winner is? A.R. Rahman for "Slumdog Millionaire".
The Lovely Steph Leann: 40 Mikey: 31 Yours Truly: 13
Best Song. Peter Gabriel, writer and singer of "Wall*E"'s song "Down to Earth" refused to perform the song at this year's ceremony because they cut all the songs down to a 1 minute version. He said that he didn't feel like it was a true sampling.
The nominees are 2 songs from "Slumdog Millionaire" sandwiching the "Wall*E" tune.
941p... Eddie Murphy (who is an Academy Award nominee, strangely enough) is out to do just that very thing... giving Jerry Lewis the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, something about some telethon he does. I kid, I kid, I know what "Jerry's Kids" is...
..and is it bad that even though its been on, every Labor Day, my entire life (since 1966, actually), I've not seen more than four minutes collectively of that entire thing? Jerry Lewis comes out, looking like he has lost some weight, looking very hunched and old.
He is in fact 83, will be 84 in March, and he looks like he's had a recent stroke, the way he moves and talks. Resembles Kirk Douglas when Kirk came out a few years ago.
938p... I had wings last night, and cheap chinese today for lunch... I'm waiting for the Jerry Lewis Humanitarian Award to be given out, so I can go to the restroom.
937p... Its kinda like NASCAR or the PGA tour or something... at some point, no matter whether she wins or loses the rest, The Lovely Steph Leann now has an insurmountable lead. Now can she get the final six points to take the "most points ever"? Its very, very likely.
928p... Will Smith introduces Out-Stounding Sound Editing. I chose "The Dark Knight", as did the other two in the room. The winner is? "The Dark Knight". The Lovely Steph Leann goes to 35, Mikey has 28, I have 13.
Sound Mixing. Again, I got with "The Dark Knight". Again, I miss it. "Slumdog Millionaire" wins another Oscar, en route to the big ones. We all miss it.
Will Smith: "I am still here now. Hugh must be napping."
Film Editing. I went with "The Dark Knight", playing it safe again. The winner is... "Slumdog Millionaire" The Lovely Steph Leann goes to 37, Mikey stays at 28 and I still have 13.
923p... Here comes the Sound Awards, Mixing and Editing. I chose "The Dark Knight" for both of these. Here's a kickin' montage of 2008's action movies, with Ironman, Rambo, Bond, Hancock, Hulk, Indy, Batman, the Joker, Hellboy, Speed Racer, the Transporter and many others.
Will Smith rises from the stage (and hopefully from the crap that was "Seven Pounds") to do Visual Effects. I'm so far behind now, both Mikey and The Lovely Steph Leann stopped asking what I picked. Just as well. I went with "The Dark Knight", and "Ben Button" wins. The Lovely Steph Leann has 33, Mikey has 26 and I still have 11.
917p... Documentary Short Subject. I picked "The Witness-From the Balcony of Room 306". It looks like a Civil Rights film... but... the winner is "Smile Pinki". No one got it.
24 awards, 13 given out, and I've gotten 4 right. Sheesh.
Here's what Bill Maher thinks of you and your Jesus
913p... Bill Maher comes out for Best Documentary. Mikey and I both say, "Oh geez..." at the exact same time. I absolutely despise. He is a bigot, he is a racist, and he's a freakin' liberal snob who thinks anyone who believes in any God, especially Jesus, is ignorant and stupid. So there. And he even makes an anti-God joke while onstage.
I haven't seen any of the documentaries nominated, but whichever one is most Anti-American, or Anti-Military or Anti-Dubya... that's what will win. I picked "Trouble in the Water". The winner? "Man on a Wire". Sigh. The Lovely Steph Leann has 32, Mikey has 25, I have 11.
One of the winners balances the Oscar statue on his chin.
909p... They show in the audience, Kate Winslet, Adrian Brody, Mickey Rourke, Rob Downey Jr and several others, many of which have tears, look somber or are nodding in agreement. Except for Ben Kingsley, who is blinking like he's got something in his eye.
And seriously, dare Bill Condon and the orchestra strike up the band to cut them off? They probably could have talked for 20 minutes.
901p... Here's a montage for Best Supporting Actor, which is almost a shoo-in for Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight". Kevin Kline (winner for "A Fish Called Wanda"), Alan Arkin ("Little Miss Sunshine"), Christopher Walken ("The Deer Hunter"), Joel Grey ("Caberet") and Cuba Gooding Jr ("Jerry Maguire") all come out to present the nominees. Its cool that all of them are here, but especially Cuba--what else is he going to do? Absent is Javier Bardem, who won this last year for "No Country for Old Men."
Alan Arkin announces "Seymour Philip Hoffman". Ha! Cuba Gooding Jr announces Robert Downey Jr for "Tropic Thunder", with a "in blackface? Are you out of your mind?" Chris Walken is... well, Chris Walken. I almost expect him to offer some cham-pan-ya.
And the winner is? Heath Ledger. I'll be honest with ya... I've thought about this, and I think that Heath Ledger might have won this even if he hadn't died. He was brilliant in this film.
The Lovely Steph Leann now dominates with 31, Mikey has 24 and I finally break 10 with... 11. The Lovely Steph Leann's new goal is 42, which would tie Mikey's record score from last year.
853p... There's a musical montage now, with Beyonce and Hugh Jackman singing bits from random musicals. Not very entertaining. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens come out, somehow working in "High School Musical", along with Amanda Seyfriend and some guy from "Mamma Mia". Boooooooring.
842p... Keeping on the 2008 movie montages, here is the one on Comedy. It features Seth Rogan and James Franco watching the comedies from last year, and then they come onstage. Here's the Oscar for "Live Action Short", of which I went with "Manon on the Asphalt". This will ensure that it won't win.
The winner is...? "Spielzeugland (Toyland)". As soon as we saw the clip, and saw that it was a Holocaust short film, Mikey and I both groan. We knew this would win. The Lovely Steph Leann picked it, and chants, "Nazi movie! Nazi movie! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
The Lovely Steph Leann has 24, Mikey still has 20, I still have 7.
838p... Jessica Biel comes out to do the "Technical Award" montage. They always get supposedly pretty chicks to do these, as Jessica Alba came out last year for it.
831p... We continue on our movie journey as Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller come out together to give away Cinematography... and Ben Stiller is dressed as Joaquin Phoenix, with the ridiculous beard, sunglasses and staring off into space. I'm not sure if the joke is all that funny to the audience, but they are laughing all through this bit.
Ben Stiller/Joaquin is randomly walking around the stage. The winner is? "Slumdog Millionaire", giving the 3 points to The Lovely Steph Leann, with 23 points. The tie is broken, as Mikey stays at 20, and I stay at 7.
825p... Robert Pattinson from "Twilight" is here, with "Mamma Mia" star Amanda Seyfried to introduce 2008's Romance Montage. Both starred in movies I hated.
822p... And finally, SJP and James Bond are still here to give away the Academy Award for Makeup. I went, again, with "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", though at this point, I'm sorta rooting for "Hellboy II: The Golden Army". And the winner is? Me! One more point for my 7 total, while 20 for the leaders.
819p... Here comes Costume Design, as I went with "Benjamin Button" again. This time, Mikey and The Lovely Steph Leann went with "The Duchess", so can gain 2 points... and the winner is? "The Duchess". 19 points for the leaders, still 6 points for Yours Truly.
815p... The Oscars are being given out in the sequence of "doing a movie", with Screenplays first. Sarah Jessica Parker the Horse and Daniel Craig are out doing Art Direction, of which I listed "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" as the winner. And the winner is? Yay, I got it! And so did Mikey (17pts) and The Lovely Steph Leann (17pts). I have 6 points.
808p... They remain out to give the Animated Short Film, none of which I, Mikey, The Lovely Steph Leann, nor YOU, have ever seen. And the winner? "La Maison en Petits Cubes". None of us got that. The Japanese director actually says, in his acceptance speech, "Domo negato, Mr Roboto".
803p... Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black are out now to present the Best Animated Feature, which includes "Kung Fu Panda", "Bolt" and "Wall*E", which I went with the last. Actually, they aren't presenting... they are showing a 2008 "Movie Yearbook of Animation".
Says Jack Black, "I make more money doing animation than live action. I take all the money I make from Dreamworks, then bet it all on Pixar at the Academy Awards."
And the winner is... "Wall*E". Finally, I get one (4pts)! And so does Mikey (15pts) & The Lovely Steph Leann (15pts).
Best Animated Feature "Wall*E"
758p... And now for Best Adapted Screenplay... I went with "Frost/Nixon", with the theory that this will be the only Oscar this will take tonight. And I probably should have gone with "Slumdog". And the winner is? "Slumdog Millionaire" Mikey and The Lovely Steph Leann have 11 points. Yours Truly has 0.
If "Slumdog Millionaire wins Best Picture, the terrorists win.
754p... Tina Fey and Steve Martin are out, presenting the award for Best Original Screenplay... out the five movies, I've only heard of three, only seen one, that being "Wall*E". And the winner is... "Milk". Mikey and The Lovely Steph Leann now stand at 7 points, I still have zero, as I chose "Wall*E". Mikey makes a point... "The gays always win over cartoons!"
748p... And the winner is... Penelop Cruz for "Vicky Cristina Barcelona". Score 4 points for Mikey and The Lovely Steph Leann, and zero for Yours Truly. This will be a long, long time. This is a Woody Allen movie, which is why I'll probably never see it. I'm not sure I understand anything that Cruz is saying right now.
743p... So, five previous winners of Supporting Actress, and they are giving out the award this year for Supporting Actress... normally, the previous year's supporting actress gives out supporting actor, and vice versa, same for Best Actor and Best Actress, I'm only guessing that they do that to keep someone who might be nominated again for the same award giving out that award...
...but this year, instead of showing film clips, the five previous winners are actually talking about each nominee's performance. This is a fantastic twist this year.
740p... "Mickey Rourke, say whatever you like tonight... we have a 7 second delay, but if you win, we'll move to a 20 minute delay"
737p... And its really funny that he's cracking himself up, sometimes holding back a laugh while sing. He gets a standing ovation from the audience when he's done, and great laughter when he sits in Frank Langella's lap.
735p... Hugh Jackman is bringing down the house with this opening... I personally love it when they acknowledge the stars in the crowd and Hugh brings up Anne Hathaway on the stage to do a "Frost/Nixon" bit... Mikey, The Lovely Steph Leann and I are rolling here.
732p... Hugh Jackman, a member in good standing in The Lovely Steph Leann's Colin Firth Club, is hosting... and even though we didnt know how funny his opening monologue would be--he's hysterical. He quips about Kate Winslet playing a German in "The Reader", and Robert Downey Jr playing an Australian who plays a black guy in "Tropic Thunder", both nominted...
"I'm an Australian, who plays an Australian in a movie called 'Australia'... and I'm hosting."
730p... Okay, we do a scoring game here. Each catagory has a certain number of points assigned to it, with the lesser, shot-in-the-dark awards like Animated Short and Foriegn Film being 1 point, and the big ones, like picture, director and main acting awards, being 5 points. Mikey won last year, The Enchanting Nikki Brown the year before and others in years before.
And Mikey has won this award four times since we've been doing it for the last 9 years.
721p... I'll be that Penelope Cruz spends 30 minutes per day getting her unibrow under control
713p... They show Mickey Rourke (remember, we're on ABC now), and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I have to say, this is the best I've seen Mickey Rourke look in all these award shows and [they pan down and show the gaudy white pants and pointy cowboy boots]... and never mind."
705p... Frank Langella onscreen leads to this: Mikey: He's been in some bad, bad movies Yours Truly: Dude! He was Skeletor!
704p... Its Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, which leads to this exchange: Mikey: I heard they broke up Yours Truly: I had heard that he cheated on her Mikey: I would Yours Truly: Me too The Lovely Steph Leann: Michael! David!
701p... Just turned it to ABC, where Robin Roberts and some other guy are doing a 30 minute Oscar special before the show, and who pops up but Kate Winslet... she looks better on E!
659p... Kate Winslet. Love 'er.
648p... After an unhealthy, ungodly amount of Zaxby's chicken, Zaxby's bread and Thin Mints, we're ready for this show to start. Mikey and I have already ogled at Kate Winslet (The Lovely Steph Leann: "Her hair looks awesome!") and made fun of Penelope Cruz' accent, then made fun of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and a few other things.
603p... We're watching the E! Academy Awards arrival show. Here's Michael Shannon, who might be the luckiest guy on the planet. He's looks like a gorilla, he's from nowhere, he's a nobody... and in "Bug", he made out with The Goddess, and in "Revolutionary Road", he made out with Kate Winslet. How does this even happen?
603p... Amy Adams. Hot. Freakin' hot.
6pm... Welcome! Its time for the 2009 Academy Awards! Mikey just showed up, bringing in Zaxby's chicken and lotsa sauce. We're picking our catagories and filling out our Oscar ballot... for the record, I'm picking wins for Kate Winslet, my favorite actress to win Best Actress for "The Reader", and Mickey Rourke for "The Wrestler".
I'm also picking "Slumdog Millionaire" to win the directing prize and the best picture award, even though I don't think it should win either. Personally, I think that Kate should win, and either Mickey or possibly Frank Langella should win for "Frost/Nixon"... I haven't seen "The Wrestler" or "Frost/Nixon" but I heard both are just incredibly.
If Mickey Rourke wins, we all win
Speaking of Mickey... if he wins, where does his acceptance speech fall in the "No One Knows What the *#&$ Will Happen" catagory? Like, it could be boring, or unforgettable for any number of reasons.
First, a quick recap. Not from me, but a rather entertaining recap on the show from the past seven... eight? seasons of American Idol, showing highlights (Kelly Clarkson winning, Daughtry getting his yellow ticket, Carrie Underwood singing, Pickles!--I love Pickles!, Ruuuuben, etc) and lowlights (Sanjaya, the Crying Girl with Sanjaya, the flake who idolized Clay Aiken, the bug eyed guy, Garret the weird cowboy, etc).
But yes, American Idol is returning. And I will not fail you, Coffee Drinkers. I will not let you down. I can't promise to be here for every single Idol early show (the early rounds) but I will do my darndest to be here every week for the performances and the kick-em-off nights.
Heck, I've thought about making it into a Clouds In My Coffee Idol kind of game... anyone want to play?
This.
Is.
American Idol. (cue the music)
Reaching back to last year, we see the winner in his shining moment, in his Now, David "Rob Thomas" Cook... okay, fine, he's no longer a "Rob Thomas"-alike... he's just David Cook. They showed a video from some girl's living room that when Cook was announced the winner, the girls, all wearing Young Archuleta shirts, they began to scream and cry, "Noooooo!!!! Noooooo!!!!" I can imagine this was the reaction when Alabama was playing Utah a few weeks ago.
Why do I enjoy this show so much? Well as much as I enjoy making fun of it, I do actually enjoy some of the winners. And some of the losers. Its entertaining. I mean, you can say, "Its a no talent talent show!" as much as you want, but Carrie Underwood has sold in excess of 8 million CDs, and has multiple country awards and Grammys to go with it. Kelly Clarkson has done likewise. Of course, for every Carrie and Kelly, there is a Ruben and Taylor, who perhaps did well right out of the gate, but haven't done much since, and of course, everyone knows the Daughtry story... And I own both Carrie CDs, both Kelly CDs, Daughtry's first CD, both Pickles CDs (I love Pickles!), Taylor's first CD (the early one, before the show) and McPheever's CD too.
Aw, Pickles!
And perhaps you don't like the music of Carrie, Kelly, Daughtry and so on... well, don't like it because its not your thing, not because they happened to break out on a Talent Show competition. Drink that thar' Haterade if you want, but I think the show is fun, and I'm going to enjoy blogging about it, and if its anything like last year, a few dozen of my readers will enjoy reading about it.
Here's what you can expect to see in any American Idol audition... at least one of the following: (A) Somebody in a weird outfit that cannot sing (B) Somebody who cannot sing that will be bleeped later telling Simon what he can do and where he can go (C) Somebody who legitimately can sing, but will be refused Hollywood because they aren't "it" (D) Somebody totally weird, bizarre, whacked out that cannot sing (anyone remember "Panther"?) (E) Somebody will butcher Celine, Whitney and/or Alicia (F) Somebody will attempt a Stevie song that should not attempt a Stevie song (G) Somebody who really is so sweet and nice and you want to be able to sing, but just can't do it, and you feel bad for them.... (H) Somebody who gave up everything to come audition, but will absolutely suck (I) Somebody who says "I want to sing to share my voice with the world" (J) And somebody who will sing another song, badly, unprompted, after its very obvious that the first song was terrible
I won't give a blow-by-blow account of tonight's show, just some highlights, and perhaps some names to watch...
We come from Arizona tonight, where it's 106 degrees--this was taped last year, summer I believe. This year, joining Randy the Dawg, Simon the Cynic and Paula the Odd, there's also Kara DioGuari (dee-oh-gwar-dee). She's produced stuff for Celine, The Pussycat Dolls, Jewel and P!nk, and right outta the gate, she fusses with Simon, she gets yelled at by a terrible contestant and fake kisses Paula. Good times.
First up, the guy with the big freaked up Afro, partly Vietnamese, all doing the robot to Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough"... I miss black, awesome Michael Jackson. He was the bomb. Seriously, 1991 and before, he was amazing. Anything having to do with Neverland and little boys, bad bad bad.
Tuan Nguyen is doing some "The Way You Make Me Feel", by late 80s, good Michael Jackson, though he's killing the song. He's got the moves, but the tone is awful. And when he doesn't get picked, not only does Idol play "Careless Whisper", he almost cries. I mean, that's just mean. George Michael when you get dissed? Wow.
Here comes a backstory. Emily Wynne-Hughes, with a weird nose ring (that from her profile looksl like a booger), pinkish hair (she should go see Melisssa Clark) and big earrings. She's taking on "Barracuda"... one of my favorite songs, this thing rocks.. And hey, Emily's no Ann Wilson (for starters, she's not 300 pounds) but she's not too bad. With the tattoos on the arms, she kind of reminds me of Carly Smithson--and she tells us that if she makes it, her band can't go on tour. And she goes through... with the background of "Alone" by Heart.
Randy Madden, who is 28 but looks like he's 36, is up next. He also looks like a guy who was a Trekkie, who gets mad when you tell him Han shot first. And he's emotional and crying. Holy poo, man, grow a backbone. Seriously. The headband, which is like five inches high, is too much. He's taking on Bon Jovi, and I'm glad The Lovely Steph Leann is not here, because that blanket she wraps around her would be up over her face (for you new people, that's what she does when she's thinking "oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh make it stop!!!"). And this is where he starts crying... especially when Simon calls him a Drama Queen. In our rules, this one guy just knocked out A, D, I and J, all at the same time. This might be a new record--I want this guy to start cursing Simon! Come on, come on Randy... give me Rule B!! Give it to me!
And all he does is start crying. I was reading "Wild at Heart" recently. This is the pansy they speak against.
J.B. Ahfua is wailing something. Not too shabbily. Paula gave him the "oh, I think I like you..." look. That usually leads to room keys.
So, here's a guy who is all scared, freaking out, and very, very nervous. He's shaking. He's actually trembling. He tries to take on a Carrie Underwood song... and I almost threw up in my mouth. I think Carrie did too. She just called me and said, "Hey Dave. Make this guy stop. I just threw up in my mouth." For whatever ungodly reason, they prompt him for another song... and he actually is singing a song of one of the judges, Kara. He walks out, and I think he throws up in his mouth.
We get a montage of bad contestants, including a music student actually destroy a Tears for Fears song. And we have our first Celine murder of the evening. By a guy. And someone names Shawn--could be a man, could be a woman, either way he/she has a mohawk, and just butchered Dionne Warwick.
The next dude, with a guitar, calls himself X-Ray. He's doing his own song, putting the guitar down, and... well, you know how this is going to end. Good for the audience, causes its stupidly funny, but not good for this guy. Randy cannot even answer when asked "Yes or no..." And he throws down on Rule J, busting up with another song. Badly.
Backstory alert! Sixteen year old, who started singing when she was 6! Arianna is her name, and she even founded a "visit an older person in the nursing home" organization (that's not meant to be mean, thats what it is!) For the first time tonight, I want this one to be good. She's cute as a button, and.... wait for it... wait for it... Yes! Yes! She's got a voice! She's singing "Put Your Records On" by... crap, what's her name? I forget. Doesn't matter. They like her, she's onto Hollywood! Good. I liked this one.
So, 9 people get their golden tickets to Hollywood on Day One.
Jillip wants me to consider a mission trip to Arizona this summer. Watching how hot it is there... wow. I mean, be uncomfortable for Christ? Hmm.
So, Elijah has a Barry White voice. It's so deep. Like, really deep. Like, the guy on The Oak Ridge Boys who says "oh bomp a maw maw" when singing "Elvira" would say, "Man, you got a deep voice." So, he's not doing soprano, we think. Simon tells him right up front, its not looking good.
Naturally, Elijah is doing "My First, My Last, My Everything" by Barry White. Barry has probably millions of conceptions during his music. Elijah will have very few. If any. Not too good.
Lea Marie, a 16 year old chick that you might just want to smack. I want to smack her. She looks cute, until she starts talking, and then you realize just how annoying she is. See, I know chicks who are 16, 17, 18, and aren't annoying. Hot Sister Cheney is not annoying. Courtney Maddox is not annoying. Lea Marie? Annoying. She's a stalker of Kara, apparently, and has brought a scrapbook full of all of her songs that she's written.
I wanted her to stink, because I didn't want another Mikalah Gordon on this show. And she doesn't entirely stink. Just a little bit. The judges told her that she's not ready (Simon says, "Really annoying"). She gives us the "put me through and I'll work soooo hard!" line. Still a no. Thank you! Thank you! But... she promises to come back next year. Oh, I can't wait.
Stevie Wright, who gets her name from Stevie Nicks, shows up. She... is not annoying. She is fun. And she's bringing "At Last" from Etta James. Hmm... not bad... seriously, not bad... started a little shaky, but brought it home, starting feeling it, got int... when did I become Randy?
They put her through--as well they should--but tell her to be more aggressive. And Stevie Nicks plays in the background.
So, they keep showing Bikini Girl, who is coming up. Something about she's going to get into an argument with Paula and Kara... I think I'm going to be objective in this, because I don't think this chick is good looking at all, body or no body.
And who decided there was a demand for Pink Panther 2? I mean, what were the requirements for making a sequel? A promise to give Steve Martin work? Has he sunk to this? If ten people show up to the first one, they make another one? What????
So, a roughneck on an oil rig, ranking as the fifth most dangerous job in the world, is auditioning. I saw Mike do this on "Dirty Jobs", and it looks brutal and dirty. Michael Sarver is bringing it too... reminds me of Josh Gracin, a whole "where did that voice come from??" kind of routine. Off to Hollywood he goes. I like this guy... glad he made it.
Another montage of terrible auditions, and here comes Bikini Girl. And she's just not attractive. Seriously. She loves Ryan, and has already said, "We're going to make out when I get my golden ticket."
Simon and Randy smile, Kara and Paula are a little affronted. Her name is actually Katrina, and while she's doing a little average job on "Vision of Love" (a song that should never, ever, ever, ever, never, ever, never, ever be sung on American Idol), she gets a Yes from Simon. Randy then says Yes. Kara then does the whole "here's how it should be done", and now the sparks fly. And she says, "You don't have the chops to sing that", and Bikini Girl says, "You weren't any better" and Paula says...
I feel like I'm watching Kecia Morgan and Jennifer Lambert argue over... who was it, Joey Stephens, in 10th grade?
She kisses Ryan. Ryan stammers. He asks her to jump into the pool, and she does. Then he jumps in after her. Some jobs are just tough.
Oh geez... coming up, a blind guy auditions. Talk about your heartstrings and all that stuff...
And its Kara, like "Air", not Kara, like "Car". Personally, I like her. She's a good addition.
And the next contestant shares the same nickname as Garrett Cheney, "Sexual Chocolate". He has it tattooed on his back. And like Garrett, he got the nickname in high school. And Sexual Chocolate is trying to take on Stevie. Tough. Tough. Tough. And no good. The Chocolate melts.
Here's the montage of the crying, cursing, "this show is a joke" contestants who didn't make it.
I want to like this next chick, but I don't know if I can. Brianna is singing Deniece Williams "Let's Hear it For the Boy" from Footloose... this song is going to be in my head for hours. And she calls Simon "Simee". She attempts to sing, "Killing Me Softly", which is a beautiful song... and boring. Like, if I'm drowsy when I hear it, I'm gone. I actually prefer The Fugees version. I keep rambling to keep from paying attention to Brianna. And they put her through. Ay yi yi.
She freaks out when she hugs Paula Abdul, though honestly, if I were in a contest and the judges were The Goddess, Kate Winslet, Bruce Willis and The Rock, I'd be freaking out too. "Oh My Gahhhhh!!!! I'm HUGGING THE ROCK!!!!"
I'm so ashamed.
A montage of family members lovin' them who made it, and supportin' those who didn't.
Deanna, a country girl, comes up next, alone (no family). She's singing some Otis, and none too bad, mind you. I like this one. She's kinda creepy looking, though, so I don't know how I feel about that yet.
17 year old Cody brings an entourage with him. He reveals that he makes horror movies with his video camera.... if this is bad, Simon will say "This was a horror movie." Cody sings "Wonderful World" by James Morrison. Hey, this kid is good. Seriously, I am a little surprised. And to no surprise, they send him on through to Hollywood.
Geek alert. He taught himself to sing, late at night, in his closet. Got sick off of mold, and he's skipping a Spanish test. Either he's going to be terrible, or he's going to be awesome. Alex is his name, and is pulling out some James Ingram... "Baby, Come To Me... let me put my arms around you, this was meant to be... and I'm oh so glad I found you..." Wow. This kid can sing. I thought it was great. They argue about it, Randy, Kara and Paula send him through.
Montage of bad singers. Most of the putting a knife in "Wanted Dead or Alive". So, apparently, they ask a few singers to sing one song, then they put the clips together to form one badly sung tune. Most of the time, this is not done in front of the judges, so their reactions are usually to something else. Its entertaining, though.
And now we have... Scott the Blind Guy. Singer, songwriter, piano player. I mean, good looking guy, good personality, confident... this is the "ooooh, I'm voting for him 'cause he's soooo sweet!' vote all the way. This may or may not be good.
College at 14, graduated at 19, studied in London? Holy crap! "So It Goes" by Billy Joel, and... he freakin' nails it. We might be getting an early look at The Blind Josh Grobin right here. Actually, I heard a rumor that Stevie Wonder is thinking of hiring an assassin to take this guy out. "I'm the only blind popular singer!"
Scott the Blind Guy goes through. Like he wouldn't. They've been teasing this guy all show, you can't imagine he wouldn't make it.
27 people have made it thusfar from Arizona. But we've got more stops to make, more blogging to do! Tomorrow night... Kansas City, home of David Cook!
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