The Idol Road to the Dude Half-Dozen

Tonight!  The Top 12 guys take the stage...

THIS IS AMERICAN

IDOL

The Lovely Steph Leann and myself are in the living room of The Cabana, fresh off a dinner at the garden where I guess they grow the olives.  Pretty good Shrimp Portofino, she had soup, we had dessert, and are now in the woes of fullness, on the couch and recliner.  The guys?  Todrick... Aaron.. Jermaine... Tim Urban.. Joe... Tyler... Lee... John... Big Mike... Alex... Casey... and Andrew...

Simon puts it plainly... "if you lose it tonight, or forget the words, your career is over..."

Todrick Hall, 24, from Arlington, TX, was the guy who wrote and sang his own little song.  Tonight, he's doing an R&B version of "Since U Been Gone", starting out with a Boyz II Men'esque narration.  And this might the be most original version of any song I've heard so far this evening.  My man is busting it...

Not sure if the vocals are perfect, but the energy is up, and its a fun version of an already fun song.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Pretty cool", and America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres is all smiles.  She thought the chorus was a little rough, but loved the performance.  Randy the Dawg is one of those that has been saying "make the song your own!", as is Kara the Hotness... and yet, they both sit here and say, "I didn't recognized that song, that was a crazy arrangement..."  Simon didn't like it either, saying, "You murdered the song."  I kinda liked it.  So there.

Aaron Kelly, 16, from Sonestown, PA, is the youngest guy in the contest this year.   He's singing Rascal Flatts "Here Comes Goodbye", which as a huge Rascal Flatts fan, The Lovely Steph Leann picked up immediately.  He sings, he finished, I'm underwhelmed.   "You could tell he was nervous, but it was good," The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up.

Simon says, "It was quite a good performance."  Kara the New Hotness says, "You have no idea how great your talent is."  Randy the Dawg says, "You got all those pipes..."  And Ellen the Talk Show Host says, "You'll be here a long time."

Personally, I think Jermaine Purifory should be here, not Jermaine Sellers... but Jermaine Sellers it is.  He's 27, from Joliet, IL, singing "Man in the Mirror" during an audition, and seemed like he was blaming the band.

He's singing "Get Here" by Oleta Adams, one of those tender, soft, precious songs that has to be very, very hard to sing.  How's he doing?  Eh.  Just eh.  The original is by far and away better. 

Ellen says she loves his look, she loves the song, but felt that he was only singing the song as a performance and not really feeling it.  Randy the Dawg said he loved the song, but the song seemed too old for him, and that The Wrong Jermaine was trying to do too much with it.  Kara the New Hotness agreed with Randy the Dawg.  Simon the Cowell says it sounded like a cocktail piano bar song, and that he was trying to oversing it.... The Lovely Steph Leann nods her head.

Up next is Tim Urban, 20, from Duncanville, TX, a dude I know very little about.  I have to give a nod to Erin the Marine Wife, as we discovered that Big Mike isn't the one who was cut (his father did tell people, and caused some trouble), it was a guy named Chris Golightly who was cut for unspecified reasons.  Anyway, Tim "Not Keith" Urban got the call, and is on the show now.

"Apologize" by OneRepublic is the song... The Lovely Steph Leann groans, "I hate this song."  Poor KT, she's missing this, as this is her favorite song of all time.  Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the song either.  Hitting the high notes on "tooooo laaaaateeeeee" wasn't good for Tim "Not Keith" Urban... 

Simon says, "Congrats for coming back, but based on that performance, we made the right decision the first time when we cut you."  Kara the New Hotness said the music just swallowed him up.  Randy the Dawg said it was just the wrong song all the way around.  Ellen the Talk Show Host says it was smart to choose a song that people like, but it just didn't sound good.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I do like him better than I do that Ashley Rod girl..."

Joe Munoz, 20, from California, another guy we don't know alot about, another guy who did "Man in the Mirror" during Hollywood Week.  Joe the Latin Lover is doing "You and I Both" by Jason Mraz, one of my Top 250 songs of all time.  And Joe the Latin Lover seems to be doing quite well... maybe a little safe, but he's not trying to do too much with it, he's not trying to oversing it, he's just doing the song the way I would have done it, were I able to sing.  Which I am not.  Not that I don't try.  Its a song that has over 40 plays on the iPod, so I've sung it loud before...

Ellen the Talk Show host liked the song, liked the performance... Randy the Dawg says, "Not for me for you, for me, for you, for you, for me, you worked it."  Kara the New Hotness didn't expect him to sing this song, but loved it.  Simon the Cowell says, "I kinda agree... but not really.  Based on that performance, I don't think you are a star."

Its Tyler Grady, 20, from Nazereth, PA, and this is a guy that The Lovely Steph Leann adores.  She says, "I'm going to hush, because I don't want to say anything to jinx him!"   He's singing, perhaps to The Lovely Steph Leann, the big hit by The Guess Who?, "American Woman". 

This seems like a song that the band would love to play onstage.  None of that pansy Oleta Adams, "Get Here" crap, oh, nay nay... let's rock it out with some 1970 Guess Who? music baby.  Dig it.

As for the song, its not bad.  Its not great.  Its... well, eh.  I said, "He seems like he's shouting alot of it," and The Lovely Steph Leann defends him by saying, "Well, that's much of the song...."  Simon the Cowell said the song was a bit cliche and unnatural.  Kara the New Hotness says he has a frontman personality, but isn't keen on the 70s gimmick.  Randy the Dawg says they've seen this from him already, they want something more.  Ellen agrees, telling him he needs charisma.

Lee Dewyze, 23, from Chicago, IL, and is a paint clerk.  But now, he's a guitar playin' Idol hopeful.  He was the rockin' kind of guy singing "You Found Me", which was awesome in Hollywood Week.  He's singing Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars", which seems like a song right in his wheelhouse.

His shirt says "Weapon of Choice", which makes me like him already.  His vocals aren't perfect, but he almost seems like the most normal, down to earth guy out of the entire roster.  Ellen the Talk Show Host says she thought it was a good song choice, though he seemed like he screamed a little bit.  Randy the Dawg didn't like the song choice at all, wishing he had gone a little harder.  Kara the New Hotness didn't like the really small range of the song.  Simon the Cowell says, "I thought this was the best performance of the whole night so far."

The judges mention that he should do a Kings of Leon song.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Uh... I don't know who those people are..."  We're old.

Up next is John Park, 21, from North Park, IL, who was praised by Shania Twain to the point where it was almost creepy. 

"God Bless This Child", a jazz classic, is what he's singing... I think, actually.  He sings the first four lines, and until he gets to the chorus, I didn't know he was singing English.  I thought this was perhaps a foriegn song, along the lines of La Bamba.  I look at The Lovely Steph Leann and say, "I didn't understand any of those first lines... did you?"  She shakes her head no. 

He sounds pretty good, but mumbles a whole lot.  Simon the Cowell tells him that he needs an incredible voice to sing that song, and he doesn't.  Zero emotion.  Flat.  Kara the New Hotness calls it loungy and sleepy.  Randy the Dawg said he liked the runs and bridge, but beyond that, not much else.  They all tell him he's got a voice, but bad selection.  Ellen the Talk Show Host says that was a song that is not going to get the girls to vote for him.  I agree... didn't like the song, didn't understand the song, didn't think he was all that great.

Michael Lynche, 26, from St. Pete, Florida, the birthtown of The Lovely Steph Leann.  Big Mike was featured during Hollywood Week because his baby girl was born that very same week. 

Big Mike is singing "This Love" by Maroon 5.  He looks like a linebacker, holding his guitar, not really sure if he's even playing it, and singing the song.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Its a little nasal", but I kinda like the performance.   And she likes it too, despite the nasally quality that she's hearing. 

How in the world did Big Mike & Joe the Latin Lover end up having two of my favorite performances tonight? 

Ellen loves his personality, loved the song choice and love the performance.  Randy the Dawg likes him, his persona and the song.  Kara the New Hotness says, "It was little depressing until you came up here and did your thing".  She admits if there had been lots of great performances, they might be more critical, but since there hasn't been, they won't be.  Simon, however, calls him an opening act.  I liked him. 

Alex Lambert, 19, from Texas, is a high school student.  At 19?  Anyway, he's the guy who was stuck in Mary Powers group, and in a video flashback, she says cheerfully, "I'll never be in this guy's group again" and he says, "I hate you."

Alex "Don't Call Me Adam" Lambert is singing some James Morrison, a guy I just don't know much music from.   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "He kinda reminds me of that Firefly Owl City guy."  I can see that... Alex "Don't Call Me Adam" Lambert has this raspy kind of voice, and the makings of what seems like a baby mullet going on. 

Simon the Cowell says, "I don't know who was happier for that to end, me or you."  He says Alex "Don't Call Me Adam" Lambert has to get his nerves together, and that he's a good singer.  Kara the New Hotness says he's got crazy tone, and that he sounds alot like James Morrison, but its not all together yet.  Randy the Dawg likes him, as does Ellen, who makes a mullet observation, then tells him he's like a banana that is not quite ripe enough yet.  Uh... okay...

And here comes Casey James, 27, from Fort Worth, and we hope he keeps his shirt on.  "Heaven" by Bryan Adams is his song of choice.  Sitting on a stool, plucking his guitar, he kinda sounds like a... well, a singer.  A good singer in a coffeehouse or a small concert.  Kara the New Hotness was the one who asked him to take his shirt off, and Idol has played up this whole, schoolyard "Kara likes Casey!" angle, which is sort of goofy.   Of course, she is only 39, 40 this year, so who knows?

Kara the New Hotness says, "I'm married, thank you!" and Randy the Dawg says, "For now!"  Kara is all kinds of being weird and stuttering and such... Randy the Dawg liked the song choice, the swagger, and says, "I liked you too, but not in that way!"  Kara the New Hotness says, "Seriously, though... you are eye and ear candy."  Simon the Cowell says, "Casey, we were both cursed with good looks.  You chose the right song, it was honest, it was good..."

Seacrest says, "Remember, tomorrow is the results show, and Friday is Kara's HR meeting..."

Oh, just an aside... apparently, as I just learned, "Casey James" is also the name of an adult film star.  So if you Google "Casey James", make sure you add the words "American Idol", and then make sure your search filter is on.  Cause... well, trust me.  Eeew.

Now, to close out the show, its Andrew Garcia, 24, from Moreno Valley, California.  He's this squatty Hispanic guy with square glasses, who got all teary eyed when he found out he was headed to the Top 24.   He's a guy I hope does well.

Fall Out Boy's "Sugar We're Going Down" is what he's singing, and like several others, chooses to do the guitar route.  Andy Garcia is taking a song that just about everyone knows, and puts a new spin on it.

Simon the Cowell says, "I was looking forward to hearing you the most tonight, but you disappointed me."  And I kinda agree.  It was a decent arrangement, but not a great peformance.  Kara the New Hotness thought the rendition was strange, but she really likes him.   Randy the Dawg didn't like the version, but is a fan of Andy Garcia.  America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen says she's a fan as well, but tonights song wasn't great. 

So, here's my rankings for tonight... Joe the Latin Lover... Casey James... Big Mike... Aaron Kelly... Lee Dewyze... Andy Garcia.... Todrick Hall... Tyler Grady... The Wrong Jermaine... Alex "Don't Call Me Adam" Lambert... John Park... Tim "Not Keith" Urban

So, if I'm picking the Dude Half-Dozen, to go along with the Chick Six, as of right now, I'm taking Joe the Latin Lover, Casey James, Big Mike, Andy Garcia and Lee Dewyze and as of right now, Todrick Hall. 

Missed Idol Part I (Denver)

Vacation is over!  Its time to head to Denver... since I'm trying to cram in two nights into a quick recap, I'll go quick and give you the highpoints...

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL

**Erin the Marine Wife swooned and possibly wee'd herself as they flashback to Daughtry, who auditioned in Denver some years ago.  And really, who doesn't like Daughtry?  I feel like, if Rob Thomas buffed up and became slightly more masculine, he might be Daughtry.
**Because they couldn't find another guest host, I'm sure, Posh Spice is back.  The woman is a stick.  Seriously.  The Enchanting Nikki Brown could look at Posh and say, "Wow.  I feel fat next to her."  I say that in love... the Enchanting Nikki Brown is about as thin and pretty as you can healthly be.
**This guy named Mark say people call him Jack Black, though I think he looks like Jonah Hill.   He sounds pretty good, too, doing "Tempted" by Squeeze.  He goes to Hollywood.
**Some guy named Mario.  I didn't get his last name, and it really doesn't matter. 

Commercial break

**Is it bad that I get a laugh out of people who come out cursing, swinging at the camera and yelling because they didn't get picked?  Not the ones who are just merely crying because they thought they had a shot, but those people who love to say stuff like, "They cut ME and they kept all them bad people!"
**Kimberly Kerbow.  Love her.  Love the song "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michelson, love her audition, I can dig it. 
**Montage of what seems like 3,000 people who get Golden Tickets.
**Karaoke host (!) Danielle Hayes is up next.  She's teary in the audition room, as she launches in "I'm the Only One" by Melissa Ethridge... this is the favorite song of The Lovely Steph Leann by the aforementioned musical lesbian (Melissa, not Danielle.  Or The Lovely Steph Leann). She doesn't sound perfect, but she's got this raspy voice (Danielle, not Melissa. Or The Lovely Steph Leann.. more on voices later) that sounds great.  I like her.  (Danielle, I mean.  Though I do like Melissa, particularly "Come to My Window".  And The Lovely Steph Leann too.)

Commercial break

**Bad costume/outfit montage.  While Kara the Hotness continues to be The Hotness, Posh has this weird hair thing going on.  Plus, Randy the Dawg held up a pencil and you couldn't see Posh behind it.
**Backstore. Cindy Jo is openly weeping.  Casey James is singing with a backstory.  And somehow, he takes his shirt off.. at the judges request.  Paula Abdul is spotted outside, holding a hotel key and begging to be let back in.  Mark, the hubby of Cindy Jo, is openly weeping.
**So, like, is Denver full of good looking chicks, or are they just picking and choosing the eye candy.  Tori Kelly is singing and... of course, I find out she's 16, and I'm a little creeped out at what I just said.  Never mind.  She sings John Mayer, isn't that memorable except for her fabulous hair, but she's on to Hollywood.

Commercial break

**Austin Paul.  You know this is going to be bad, as the video clip portrays him as... well, a dumb jock.  And a little egotistical.  And it helps that he's singing, "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer.  Can we spend more time on thos people who I enjoy hearing?  Like, Kimberly Kerbow's version of "The Way I Am"?  Anyway.
**He comes another guy, Kenny, who is the self-proclaimed "World's best singer" and they show him moving and dancing, and a few seconds later, failing.  With the offer to sing something else, they shut him down.  And after being shut down, he fulfills his own offer to sing something else.

Really, at no point in the decade of American Idol have any judge--Simon, Paula, Randy, Kristen Chenoweth, Posh, Tarantino, Shania, you name it, never has a single judge said, after initially saying, "Wow, you suck" then turned and said, "Wait, you sound great now!  We're glad you decided to go ahead and sing another song even though we told you that you suck... here's your golden ticket now!".  Never.  Just sayin'.

Commercial break

**You know those drawings where they draw your face a little bigger than normal, and they tend to really accentuate features on your face, with a very tiny body in some weird outfit?  Its pronounced Char-ick-a-chure, but I'm puzzled on the exact spelling... anyway, there was a girl who looked like a human version of one of those.  Scary.  Only slightly more scary than a scattin' Mexican. 
**Nicci Nix.  She flew from Florence, Italy, to audition in Denver.  But I don't like her.  How can you make such a judgement so soon, you ask?  Her voice is really annoying.  No, her singing is fine,  but her talking? 

Like, I went out with a girl that talked like that back in the single swingin' days, and I purposely didn't call her back for one reason--she was great, she was really pretty, she was Godly, and I had a good time... but she talked like Nicci talks.  I mean, if I knew that she could have sung all the time, like "Heeey... I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make dinner!"  or maybe "I-I-I-I-I will beeeee... at the deeeeentist office tomorrrrrooowww....", I might have called her back.  But I couldn't have taken it. 

Hey, don't hate.  Thats a voice I'd have to hear for the next 50 years.  That's why I think that you should enjoy kissing the one you end up with--that's a kiss you'll be getting for 99% of your mornings and evenings for the next four to six decades.  If you are waiting til the alter to kiss, so be it, I tip my hat... but The Lovely Steph Leann has a great kiss, has a great voice and can make a mean Sweet Potato Casserole.  There wasn't much left after that to mull over.  I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Oh, and Nicci made it to Hollywood.  Sigh.

Commercial break

**Finally, another Cindy Jo Weepy backstory, mostly about a dead dad not being able to see his daughter audition.  And they are going through so much.  And Haeley Vaughn wants to be the first black country star--hence, "Last  Name" by Carrie Underwood--but I'm sure she's forgetting to mention (or perhaps too young to know and appreciate) Hootie himself, Darius Rucker, and of course, Charley Pride.   And she's got a good voice.

And to wrap up, the final contestant of the day... a dude comes in wearing a bikini, and he's going to sing "Achy Breaky Heart".  And the best move of the day, all four judges get up and walk out in the first line of the song (that he flubs, by the way).

From Denver, 26 make it to Hollywood, but out of the ones they showed, the only ones I really liked were Kimberly Kerbow, Danielle Hayes

The 100 Coolest Things of 2009... 80 to 71

We continue our countdown of the Coolest Things of 2009... and looking at the next ten, this might be the "Guilty Pleasurest" block of ten in the five year history of The Coolest List.  Not all of them, but some.  Several.  And if you are on Facebook, flip on over to The Clouds and see the blog in its better glory. 

80... Kate Winslet Gets an Oscar
Beyond The Goddess, beyond Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, a founding member of my own Colin Firth Club that The Lovely Steph Leann keeps tucked away is none other than British actress Kate Winslet.  She'd been nominated six times for an Academy Award, but on Sunday, February 22nd, she finally got hers... in my running diary, I posted this:

1032p... KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!!!!! KATE WINSLET WINS AN OSCAR!!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!!

1035p... We knew Kate Winslet would win this, but that doesn't make it any less freakin' awesome. KATE KATE KATE!!!

Needless to say, I was excited.  Still am.

79... Pickler's New Album
For anyone who has read this blog longer than a few days, you'll realize a few things.  First, Mama Gilmore is much more attractive than Daughter Gilmore.  Secondly, Hootie & the Blowfish rocks.  Third, I love stupid movies.  Fourth, I eat lots of food.  Fifth, I believe the Dixie Chicks only deserved a small part of what they got.  Sixth, He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected is a one-term president.  Seventh, if back massages were on Facebook, I'd hit the "dislike" button.  Eighth, I will only watch "A Christmas Story" on Christmas Eve, and refuse to buy it.  Ninth, Erin the Marine Wife is to be commended.  Finally, I think Pickles is awesome. 
 
Her first CD, "Small Town Girl", was pretty good for a post-Idol debut, better than even Kat McPhee's decently good CD.  So, when Pickles second album came rollin' out, I went to Best Buy and I bought it.  Yeah, I might be the only person you know that owns a Pickles CD, but hey, I dig it.  Favorite track?  The great, soarin' vocals of "Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You".   I would post a pic of Pickles here, but 1) I'm running out of good pictures to post for Idol blog references, and 2) not enough room for the above picture of Kate and the below picture of...
 
78.. Jon Thompson

One of the four guys I took with me to Walt Disney World (that trip to be ranked later), this dude cracked me up the entire time.  Example... with five guys in a single room with two beds, I had to sleep next to someone.  One of the guys slept on the floor.  And Jon had to sleep with one of them.  The one that Jon had to sleep with decided he would just sleep naked.  Naturally, Jon had a real problem with this... so much so that he leapt out of bed, and started yelling things like, " Why would you do this?  Why!  Why can't you keep your shorts on?  What the crap, dude?"
 
And, being guys, we all turned it around on him--telling him things like, "Settle down, go to bed" and "Seriously, its not a big deal."  Personally, I totally agreed with Jon--who wants to sleep next to a naked guy?  The Lovely Steph Leann doesn't even want that, and I'm her hubby! 
 
He ended up sleeping next to his "bed-mate" who agreed to wear shorts.  Later, I discovered that said bed-mate actually de-shorted during the night and re-shorted before Jon woke up.  I think I laughed for quite a while as all this was going on.
 
He kept the riot going on the way back, marveling at the luck and blessed life of one Tyler Campbell, the bro-in-law, who won a randomly won a car and gave swimming lessons for like, $70 an hour.  Jon?  He worked at a screen printing shop that, after three years, "I'm somehow making less money than when I started!  While I'm on the other side of the tracks, Tyler is over there living in the bourgeois!'.  Course, bourgeois actually means "social middle class".  Who knew.  Jon rocks.
 
77... Hank Azaria in "Night at the Museum:  Battle of the Smithsonian"

Out of all the movies I saw in 2009, I would rank this one somewhere in the middle.  It was good, but it wasn't great.  It had its moments, but like my original review, "...with this movie, you know what you are going to get... lots of historical figures making pop culture references, lots of funny action and Ben Stiller doing what he does best."
 
This movie itself doesn't make our list, but one of the two standout performances does--first, Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with.  Secondly, and more importantly (for this movie, anyway), its Hank Azaria's absolutely hysterical performances.  He "not only plays Kahmunrah to the hilt, leaving you convinced that he had a blast playing this part, but he also does the voice of the Brooklyn-accented Thinker sculpture and of Abe Lincoln, fresh out of the Lincoln Memorial."   His Kahmunrah voice is especially great, slightly feminine and non-threatening, and he makes for the best part of the movie that doesn't include a redhead. 
 
76... The Muppets Do Queen
Kermit, Miss Piggy, Beaker, Dr. Bunson Honeydew and the gang are making a comeback...
 
\
 
...and its awesome
 
75... "Hey" by Mitchell Musso
Uh... a fun song.. makes me kinda bouncy and... uh... its... um...
 
74... "High School Musical"
Um... I saw the movie off and on... we, uh, at The Happiest Place in the Mall we played... and... I really like the them song and... well... uh...
 
73... "The Hoedown Throwdown" by Miley Cyrus
Uh... its... the movie was terrible but this... I like this song and uh...
 
Boom clap, boom de clap de clap, boom boom clap, boom de clap de clap, come on y'all, boom clap boom...
 
Everybody!  Boom de clap de clap...
 
Boom boom clap?  
 
Anyone?
 
(silence)
 
(crickets)
 
Let's move on, shall we?
 
72... ESPN's "30 for 30"
The concept is brilliant, really.  To celebrate ESPN's 30th Anniversary, they brought in 30 different directors and/or directing teams from all walks of life, all lifestyles, all film styles, to direct 30 different sports documentaries on subjects near and dear to their own hearts.
 
The results thus far have been golden.  First up was "King's Ransom", a mildly entertaining film about Gretsky's trade from the Oilers to the Kings, which I never knew was such a monumental, watershed moment for both Gretsky and the NHL... Peter Berg directed.
 
What followed was "Muhammed and Larry", chronicling the fourth bout between Ali and Homes, directed by Albert Maysles... "The Legend of Jimmy the Greek", about the slow rise and quick fall of a commentator legend, directed by Fritz Mitchell... "The Band That Wouldn't Die", an awesome look at the Baltimore Colts marching band that kept playing for over a dozen years after the Colts fled for Indy, directed by famed director Barry Levinson ("Diner", "Good Morning Vietnam", "Rain Man"). 
 
The only one I really didn't like as much was "The U", directed by Billy Corben, scanning the Miami Hurricanes teams of the 80s... it showed the teams, the successes, but didn't really spend too much time into the real issues of the team's problems.  Personally, I wished it would have talked about the crash of the program, not just the rise, but alas, I didn't direct it.
 

 
The two I loved, though?  "Without Bias", directed by Kirk Fraser, about the incredible impact that the death of Len Bias had on the Boston Celtics.  Two days after the NBA Draft, Bias dropped dead of a cocaine overdose, he not only altered our perception of casual drug use and became the tipping point of America's drug crisis in the mid-80s, but he practically ruined an already floundering franchise right as it was about to find a guy who they could build around. 
 
Secondly, "Small Potatoes: Who Really Killed the USFL?", directed by Mike Tollin which showed the success of the USFL, attempting spring football, leaving the NFL in the fall--and they were doing pretty good with it... but it took a dive, due to over-expansion, bad management, and one Donald Trump who bought into the league, and wanted to immediately move it to the fall, taking on the NFL head-to-head.  After a monoply & anti-trust lawsuit against the NFL, the verdict came back in favor of the USFL... in the form of a check for $3.76.  The USFL went belly up.  The documentary is made even better by the interview with Donald Trump, who ends up walking out on Mike Tollin.
 

 
Ahead are films on the legend of Steve Bartman... speedskater Johan Olav Koss... NASCAR driver Tim Richmond and the little disease that killed his career... and even one featuring Michael Jordan's suspension from the NBA for gambl... um, I mean, his retirement for two years to try out baseball.  Oh, and Ice Cube puts his touch on a film about the Raiders.  Good times.
 
71... Read the Rules, Shankapotomus
The Lovely Steph Leann prefers the one where the buddy "flexes the golden pipes", but personally, this is my favorite commercial of the year... 
 

 
Coming up... An Idol goes Kanye... The Best Greek Film of the Year... and later, noddin' my head like yeah, movin' my hips like yeah...

And I Owe It All To You

Sorry 'bout the distruption, folks. But I always do the last dance of the season. This year, somebody told me not to. So this year, I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner, who's not only a terrific dancer; somebody who's taught me that there are people willing to stand up for other people no matter what it costs them; somebody who's taught me about the kind of person I wanna be.

I just got home from The Happiest Place in the Mall, after a hard night of providing magic and pixie dust to the masses, and sat down to do my usual flip-through on the interweb.

Typically, here's my routine... I check my email, then go through my bookmark buttons on my Google Toolbar--that being, sites I have saved... ESPN... Fox News... The Drudge Report... The He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Re-Elected Channel... Entertainment Weekly... E-Wrestling News (I kid not)... then finally, flip on over to Facebook, which I save for last because I typically leave the tab up for a while as I do other stuff on the interweb.

Tonight, for whatever reason, I just went to Facebook. And saw that Erin the Marine Wife had said something about "Patrick" and how she hates cancer. Well, she's had someone near and dear to her pass away from the dreaded Big C (even help start a foundation... check out the site), so I thought "hmm... she must know a Patrick who died. Sad."

Then, as I scrolled down the page, I figured out what was going on... the great Patrick Swayze, the great Bodhie, the great Sam Wheat, the great Dalton had lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. And I know it sounds stupid, I know it sounds idiotic... but somewhere down deep inside of me, a little piece of my heart died too.

Patrick Swayze is in an elite group of actors that define my youth. My youth, in this context, starts in about 1984 when I was 9, just about old enough to remember most things I'd seen and heard, until about 1990, when the 80s where over, and I was not quite driving, but at least riding with my friends who could drive.

When I was little, I had a television in my room starting around 1986, an old Sears clunker that you had to actually set the channels on the television by flipping a little dial. The remote had three buttons... two of them turned the channels, the third was a larger square that raised the volume three times then turned it off. Push it again, it turns on at a low volume.

The next year, I got a VCR, and since we had HBO and Sho-time, and since I wasn't the most popular kid in the school and stayed home most weekends, void of party invitations, I watched movies. And listened to Open House Party on WKMX. And watched more movies. I learned how the VCR worked, and learned that if you tape it just right, you could put 3 full length films on a single tape under Lengthened Play. This allowed me to collect over 100 films in my little library.

Films of my youth, films that I watched over and over and loved and remembered (and perhaps I watch now and wince, but then in my naivety and easy-to-please-ness) include "Wall Street", and "Working Girl" and "Full Metal Jacket" and "Coming to America" and "Ghost" and "Next of Kin" and "Red Dawn" and had actors like Harrison Ford and Lea Thompson and Michael Douglas and Elizabeth Shue and... Patrick Swazye.

He was married to the same woman, Lisa Niemi for about 34 years, an unheard of amount of time compared to today's standards. I daresay you could take all the marriages of Britney, Angelina, Leann Rimes and anything Lindsay and Paris will ever do, put them all together and you'd probably never get the length and happiness that Patrick and Lisa probably had. 34 years.

He had his share of troubles to be sure, most Hollywood stars do... he did a stint for alcohol abuse, and he watched his career dry up in the 90s, forced to do silly things like "Waking Up In Reno" and guest spots on "Whoopi"... but you never, ever saw a news story where he was caught in the act with a hooker, or was found with five pounds of blow on him or was accused of assault or rape or decided that at age 57, he was going to get an earring in his ear, divorce his wife and hook up with a piece of re-bar with boobies (hello, Harrison Ford).

No, he kept at it. And he spent the last part of his life doing "The Beast" on A&E, and was such a professional that he refused painkillers when filming so as not to affect his work. It didn't garner huge ratings but, you know, it was enough for renewal--but it wasn't renewed, because A&E had to make the business decision based on the fact that... well, the end was coming. They knew it. I think Swayze knew it. For anyone who was paying attention, we all knew it. But we weren't ready for it.

I wasn't.

My Nine Favorite Patrick Swayze Performances...
I was going to do 10, but looking at his IMDB page, I actually struggled to find 10. I kinda struggled to find 5. I mean, let's face it, the man was not DeNiro or Cary Grant... he really did some crappy stuff... but he good stuff he did was really, really good. And its not necessarily Oscar caliber stuff--but its entertaining, re-watchable, flippin' channels and wow, there it is okay i'm putting down the remote good. And that's really all we need from most movies, ain't it?

9. "To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar"
Dressed in drag, Swayze has a blast as Vida Bohemme, teamed with a young Wesley Snipes (who plays the wonderfully named Noxeema Jackson), ending up stranded in the conservative, well-to-do town of Snydersville.

8. "Red Dawn"
He plays a smaller part in this film, but I had to mention it.

7. "Next of Kin"
If you had Swayze play Truman Gates, toss in Bill Paxton as his younger brother, toss in Liam Neeson as his older brother Briar, add some Chicago mafia, put in death-by-compound-bow and mix in some very very young and very, very unintentionally hilarious Ben Stiller, what do you think you would end up with? The glory known as "Next of Kin".

6. "Saturday Night Live"
Sadly, both the main stars in this are now gone... to use a cliche, too soon.



5. "Black Dog"
There is nothing about this movie I don't like. I couldn't bear to list it any higher than five on this list, only because I want some credibility, but really, Patrick Swayze driving a big rig, on the run from a Scripture quoting Meat Loaf... you just have to like it. You do. I do. Its on TheDave 100.



4. "Road House"
You don't watch "Road House". You experience "Road House". Experience it for all its glory, for all its bad acting, for all of its terrible plot, for Kelly Lynch and the fact that when you were a kid she was a total babe but you look at her now and think "Really?", for old school cool Sam Elliot, for The Jeff Healey Band singing "Angel Eyes" back when it was a great song (still is), for the fact the director's first name is Rowdy, for the fact the main character is a bouncer who does Tai Chi and smokes cigerettes and... for the fact its James Dalton.
"Do you enjoy pain?" the doc asks.
"Pain don't hurt," Dalton smiles.


Dalton takes out the trash

3. "Ghost"
Man I love this movie. I'm not kidding. I love everything about this movie. Demi Moore is totally gorgeous, but in a girl-next-door sort of way, Whoopi Goldberg is likeable for one of the few times in her career, and Patrick Swayze is just cool. Even that creepy scene where you see the image of Sam Wheat making out with Molly, but if you think about it, its actually Swazye's ghost in Oda Mae Brown's body, which means that Oda Mae is making out with Molly and... eew. I'll stop before I move this movie down the list.


More comical now, back then, hell's demons were absolutely terrifying. Seriously.

2. "Point Break"
As I sat here and stared at the words "Point" and "Break", I laughed out loud. I mean, where to even begin? This movie is terrible. Every thing about it is just terrible... but thats why I'm not a professional movie critic, I'm an average d$ who loves movies, and I love this film. When you have Swayze playing a surfer named Bodhi who robs banks using masks of presidents as a cover, how can it get any better? Well, I'll tell you... you throw in Keanu Reeves, in this "I want more serious roles! I'm more than just Ted and those stupid adventures!" phase of his career, and you name him Johnny Utah, and you make him say, "I AM A EFF BEE EYE AY-GENT!!!" That's how you make it better.

1. "Dirty Dancing"
This isn't one of my favorite films. Oh, I like it, no question, but I'd probably watch "Point Break", "Black Dog" or "Road House" before I watched this... but you cannot deny the impact that this movie had on cinematic history. Its colossal, and as the years go by, it will only grow in stature. From Jennifer Grey's weird face that still looked hot, to the awesome soundtrack full of old and new classics (and "She's Like the Wind... through my trees... she rides the night... next to me...") to the infamous Lift to that song that no one admits liking but EVERYONE likes, "I've Had the Time of My Life" to "Nobody puts baby in a corner"... its classic. And not just that, but its a really good film. The acting is stellar, the storyline is great, the music is fantastic, and Swayze had possibly--and Grey had definately--never been better before or since.

And that part where he's dancing in the aisle, and he does the side-to-side step with all of his entourage dancing behind him? That looks soooooo easy to do, doesn't it? And you can't do it. I never could. Looked like a total moron. No joke. That's the Magic of Swayze.



By the way, I went to about fifteen different links on YouTube to find the last scene, and the links have all been removed. So click here and see the full "Had the Time of My Life" scene. You know you want to. You know you do. I just did. And it made me smile.

I tip my hat to you, Patrick Swayze. I know not your beliefs, but if you are walking the streets of gold showing Ruth and Mary Magdelene the Lift, then rest in peace, my friend.

September 11th, 2001 As It Happened

Facebook users... this post is heavy on video, which you will not see if you are viewing this in Facebook. Please click over to http://broadwaydave.blogspot.com to see the entire blogpost.

To see previous thoughts, essays and recommended September 11th material, click here (or scroll down a few posts)

And friends of the blog and/or mine--The Official Clouds In My Coffee Ombudsman Brad Latta, Erin the Marine Wife and Kris "Buble" Dekker--gave me their thoughts and experiences on 9/11, so scroll to the next post, or click here, to read those. My intent was to inter-sparse their writings with what I was doing here on this column, but it didn't flow well, and I didn't want to edit what they had to say, so I made them their own post.

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Alright, after a week or so of trying to decide exactly what I wanted to do with today's post, because I knew I wanted to do something for today (September 11th) and the 8th anniversary of the attacks, I thought the best thing to do was just... well, go through the morning. I hate using the phrase "the best thing to do" because really, its not pleasant. Its not comfortable. It's really not fun. But its is important.

I'm steering clear of any political rhetoric (and I ask you do the same) and I'm hoping you don't find this particular blog as an exploitative veering towards such a thing--its not intended to be. Its just intending to give you--and me--a reminder of what happened that morning, as it happened.

None of the videos that have been posted are set to music, or have encouraging and faith filled songs in the background--I've disabled the music playlist (you're welcome, Lily) and only put Alan Jackson's "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning" on the list itself--you'll have to scroll down and click to hear it. Why? Because I like that song, that's why.

Don't worry, I'm not becoming all serious and such--on Monday, the regular Clouds banner will return, and I'll probably have a Billy Ocean/Billie Jean/Corey Squared-less playlist to post (sorry, Lily) but for the weekend, this is my nod and paid respects to everything that happened.

Some of the video you'll see is hard to watch, so use your best judgement. Also, just a note, all times mentioned are Eastern times, and much of the text is taken from CNN's timeline.

Tuesday September 11th.

8:45am...


9:03 a.m.:

The video at the 6:29 mark is incomprehensible and will give you goosebumps. Next, at the 6:51 mark. Jean Cochran is speaking for NPR in a typical NPR monotone, unemotional voice. When the second plane hits, she screams and suddenly becomes filled with the emotional we all shared at that very second.

Also, this very moment is the moment when four words come to mind... "This is no accident"

9:17 a.m.: The Federal Aviation Administration shuts down all New York City area airports.

9:21 a.m.: The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey orders all bridges and tunnels in the New York area closed.

Sometime during the morning


9:30 a.m.: President Bush, speaking in Sarasota, Florida, says the country has suffered an "apparent terrorist attack."

9:40 a.m.: The FAA halts all flight operations at U.S. airports, the first time in U.S. history that air traffic nationwide has been halted.

9:43 a.m.:


9:45 a.m.: The White House evacuates.

9:57 a.m.: Bush departs from Florida.

10:05 a.m.:

Peter Jennings asks, “We now have… what do we have?” He has to ask several times about whats going on, even though the reporter is speaking very plainly... Jennings, like us, cannot even fathom the idea that the entire building... just came down.


A view from the street

10:08 a.m.: Secret Service agents armed with automatic rifles are deployed into Lafayette Park across from the White House.

10:10 a.m.:


10:10 a.m.:



10:13 a.m.: The United Nations building evacuates, including 4,700 people from the headquarters building and 7,000 total from UNICEF and U.N. development programs.

10:22 a.m.: In Washington, the State and Justice departments are evacuated, along with the World Bank.

10:24 a.m.: The FAA reports that all inbound transatlantic aircraft flying into the United States are being diverted to Canada.

10:28 a.m.:


10:45 a.m.: All federal office buildings in Washington are evacuated.

10.46 a.m.: U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell cuts short his trip to Latin America to return to the United States.

10.48 a.m.:


10:53 a.m.: New York's primary elections, scheduled for Tuesday, are postponed.

10:57 a.m.: New York Gov. George Pataki says all state government offices are closed.

11:02 a.m.: New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani urges New Yorkers to stay at home and orders an evacuation of the area south of Canal Street.

11:18 a.m.: American Airlines reports it has lost two aircraft. American Flight 11, a Boeing 767 flying from Boston to Los Angeles, had 81 passengers and 11 crew aboard. Flight 77, a Boeing 757 en route from Washington's Dulles International Airport to Los Angeles, had 58 passengers and six crew members aboard. Flight 11 slammed into the north tower of the World Trade Center. Flight 77 hit the Pentagon.

11:26 a.m.: United Airlines reports that United Flight 93, en route from Newark, New Jersey, to San Francisco, California, has crashed in Pennsylvania. The airline also says that it is "deeply concerned" about United Flight 175.

12:04 p.m.: Los Angeles International Airport, the destination of three of the crashed airplanes, is evacuated.

12:15 p.m: San Francisco International Airport is evacuated and shut down. The airport was the destination of United Airlines Flight 93, which crashed in Pennsylvania.

12:30 p.m.: The FAA says 50 flights are in U.S. airspace, but none are reporting any problems.

1:04 p.m.: Bush, speaking from Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana, says that all appropriate security measures are being taken, including putting the U.S. military on high alert worldwide. He asks for prayers for those killed or wounded in the attacks and says, "Make no mistake, the United States will hunt down and punish those responsible for these cowardly acts."

1:27 p.m.: A state of emergency is declared by the city of Washington.

1:44 p.m.: The Pentagon says five warships and two aircraft carriers will leave the U.S. Naval Station in Norfolk, Virginia, to protect the East Coast from further attack and to reduce the number of ships in port. The two carriers, the USS George Washington and the USS John F. Kennedy, are headed for the New York coast. The other ships headed to sea are frigates and guided missile destroyers capable of shooting down aircraft.

1:48 p.m.: Bush leaves Barksdale Air Force Base aboard Air Force One and flies to an Air Force base in Nebraska.

2:30 p.m.: The FAA announces there will be no U.S. commercial air traffic until noon EDT Wednesday at the earliest.

2:49 p.m.: At a news conference, Giuliani says that subway and bus service are partially restored in New York City. Asked about the number of people killed, Giuliani says, "I don't think we want to speculate about that -- more than any of us can bear."

4:10 p.m.: Building 7 of the World Trade Center complex is reported on fire.

5:20 p.m.:


7:02 p.m.: CNN's Paula Zahn reports the Marriott Hotel near the World Trade Center is on the verge of collapse and says some New York bridges are now open to outbound traffic.

7:45 p.m.: The New York Police Department says that at least 78 officers are missing. The city also says that as many as half of the first 400 firefighters on the scene were killed.

8:30 p.m.: President Bush addresses the nation, saying "thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil" and asks for prayers for the families and friends of Tuesday's victims. "These acts shattered steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve," he says. The president says the U.S. government will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed the acts and those who harbor them. He adds that government offices in Washington are reopening for essential personnel Tuesday night and for all workers Wednesday.

9:22 p.m.: CNN's McIntyre reports the fire at the Pentagon is still burning and is considered contained but not under control.

Thank you for indulging me. And here's how I want to end:

9/17/01


And part 2


Opening photo: "End of serenity." A plume of smoke rises from the crash site of United Air Flight 93 in Somerset County, Pennsylvania. Photo credit: Al Pacelli, presented by The September 11 Digital Archive.

Where They Were

As I've done in years past, I've asked a few readers and friends to chime in and tell me about their September 11th memory and experiences. With apologies to all three, I changed the format at the last minute.... I had intended on inserting these in the midst of the planned-9/11 column I was going to do (and will do next) but after reading these, I think they deserved their own column so they can remain uncut. Had they known that, they may have written more, so I hope they are okay with what will be.

The following is unedited, with the exception of the first non-essential sentence of the first write-up.

I was at Alabama on 9/11/01, rooming with Drew [Morris]. We had undoubtedly stayed up late the night before playing Ken Griffey Jr.'s baseball game (well, not HIS game, but the game he is featured on...) and so, as college students, the 8-9:00 hours were just not something we were terribly interested in. I remember my mom calling my cell and telling me to turn on the TV, that something was going on in New York. At that time, reports were coming in that a plane had hit one of the towers, and so everyone thought it was a tragic mistake, pilot error, one of those twin-props that fly around and hit stuff. I stood there for probably 30 minutes as me and the newscasters all started to realize that the flaming hole in the building was much larger than a twin-prop plane, and that no respectable commercial pilot could ever, or would ever, land a plane into an occupied building. I think it was at this point that I woke Drew up, and we stood in silence as we watched the second plane hit. We were still half-asleep and groggy, but just sort of looked at each other, silently understanding the magnitude of what we were seeing.

The rest of the day is a blur. Phone calls to family members, getting gas because of the shortage we thought would come, finding out if classes were canceled, making plans. I remember sitting on my apartment steps and talking to Matt, at Lee, and we compared stories and just were family for a while. I told him that I didn't want to go to war. The sun rose the next day and life went back to the new normal we were all subject to.

Eight years later, so much has changed, but one truth remains: America is a great place, and Americans endure. Through fire and death, torture and heartbreak, families missing parents, bodies never recovered, and flags on cars, we got through it, and every day forward is another step in the process of recovery. --Brad Latta

Brad is considered "the Ombudsman" of the Clouds in My Coffee website, usually offering up great counterpoints to my political ideology and opinions. A practicing attorney, you can find his information here.

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On the morning of 9/11/2001, I arrived as usual at Briarwood Christian School where I was a band director. I was there early enough that the events in Manhattan had not yet begun to unfold. I continued my prep and setup for my first class, pretty much sheltered off in the band room from news and information. As the first kids started filing in, a couple of them asked if I had heard the news about the airplane crashing into the World Trade Center. At the time, of course, it sounded like some bizarre accident from an old made for TV “Airport ‘77” kind of movie. The information had little context and came in the form of a fairly casual question from the student, so I assumed there was not much to it and proceeded to teach my class.

After that first class, I had time to go to my computer and try to get more information. By that time, two planes had crashed into the towers, and they were jet liners (not little private planes as I had assumed). “Terrorist attack” was now being bandied about as an explanation.

I had to commute to another campus for more classes, listening to the radio and stopping in the teachers’ lounge where a TV was on. I was now seeing actual video for the first time, and I think that is when it began to sink in. Still, it kind of felt a bit sterile to me, a little bit distant, a little bit forensic in all of its surrealism. The video was not yet personal, the news coverage seemed cautious, and it was something everyone seemed reluctant to process.

I think it finally hit home with me when they started showing video of people leaping from the towers, choosing to throw themselves to certain death rather than deal with the terror of the fires and the inescapability of their circumstance. I could not imagine the choice. I could not imagine the final calls home. It was then that I started putting actual people in the seats of those jets, actual people in the towers as they collapsed, actual people committing heinous acts so far outside of the realm of humanity that it could not be believed. It was no longer forensic and distant. It was real, and it grabbed me.

I have since been to the site of the WTC. New construction has begun; life has moved on – as it must and as it should. Still, I don’t think I can forget that day. I hope none of us do. -- Kris Dekker

Kris is the music minister at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) and choir director, and is skilled at over 153 different musical instruments. Or seems that way. His website is called The Left Brained Artist.

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There are a few moments in America’s history that I remember with vivid detail. I recall watching the Challenger explode on National TV at a babysitters home when I was a young girl. I remember hearing the news that the Gulf War had begun as my parents drove me home from taking high school band pictures. And even though it was 8 years ago, I will never be able to erase the memories from 9/11. It was the day that I can honestly say my role as a military wife changed forever. It was the day that I realized we were no longer just a family that would have to deal with training exercises, frequent moves and military protocol. We now would have to face the grim reality of war. A war that would induce stress and worry that none of the young military wives I knew had ever experienced. A war that would take our husbands away from our children, so they could fight a battle that none of us really understood, but feared with great intensity.

On September 11, 2001 my daughter was just 3 months old and we were in Alabama on her first vacation. That morning we left very early to go fishing at a remote location. It was a beautiful morning with Daddy, Mommy, Papa and Morgan on her very first fishing trip. After piling into the car, my husband turned on a CD and we began our travel down the dirt road to town. My father-in-law pulled us over frantically and implored us to please turn on the radio. What we heard was hard to comprehend as the news radio tried to explain to its listeners what the rest of the world was watching unfold on TV. Still in a state of confusion, none of the events really registered with me until we got to the house and joined the rest of the family watching those horrifying images on TV. I wept and shook as I watched the planes slam into the buildings over and over again. As I imagined the fate of those people on the planes and in the buildings I sobbed violently. And then as the initial shock wore off, I was crushed by what I knew this meant for our family. President Bush had not announced it yet, but I knew that America was going to fight back, and my husband would be going to war.

War. For the generation before 9/11 we didn’t really understand what that word meant. Sure, there was the Gulf War, but that was short compared to anything in our countries history. And we had all seen images of Vietnam, Pearl Harbor, World and Civil Wars. But in an age where Hollywood controlled most of those images, it was easy to let ourselves be lulled into a sense of security. Certainly those things were in our past, not our future. Even as a military wife, I never really thought twice about my husband’s safety because most of his job was spent in the states or on occasion in countries such as Spain where they simply participated in training exercises. But on September 11th I understood that war was in our future, and while I had no idea what to expect, I was scared out of my mind.

We returned to base after our period of leave and I was shocked at the changes at the Air Station. Our base housing was actually not on the physical base and therefore had never been guarded, but as we drove up to our neighborhood we noticed that the streets were barricaded and there were Marines carrying M-16’s at the newly erected gates that now safeguarded the families. Those kids didn’t look a day over 17. I was used to the image on young men in uniform, even to seeing weapons and tanks on base. But this show of force took my breath away. On base, you could no longer park your car anywhere near a building and it took forever to get through the gates. They stopped many cars, Marines, wives and children waiting while military police randomly searched their vehicles. Even though it was an adjustment and a shock, I was proud of The Marine Corps for making these changes in such a short period of time. It gave me a strange sense of comfort.

Friends who were actually on base when the country was attacked talk of being beside themselves as they rushed to remove children from schools. Living on base was terrifying because rumors were flying about military bases being the next to be attacked. Many Marines were not in contact with their families for hours as they were called upon to enact emergency security measures. Wives huddled together in each other’s living rooms, holding on to the only other people who could understand the chaos that was all around them. They struggled to explain what was happening to small children, and to ease the growing fears of older kids as they too realized the Nation would soon be involved in a fight that would certainly involve their beloved parent.

For months, no one knew what, when and where our military would be called into action but we all knew it was just a matter of time. Families did not have much communication with commands who were busy with the important task of preparing their Marines for battle. Rumors of chemical weapon attacks coupled with the new gear that was now sitting in our living room gave me a sense of dread I will never forget. We were told that when the Marines did deploy to never send them religious material, for if they were captured, being a Christian could be a death sentence. Every day that passed became more anxious as we awaited news of a now almost certain deployment to war. And when that phone call came, in the middle of a steak dinner, my husband was told to get his gear together, he would be leaving in days. As the steak sat uneaten on the table, we started the packing process. My daughter was just 7 months old.

On the day that my husband boarded that bus, the families all gathered at the unit. None of us knew what to expect and not many of us could pry ourselves away from that parking lot until the buses were out of our sight. Small children cried and I remember a little boy clutching his father’s leg screaming “I don’t want my Daddy to die”! It was simply horrible. As we got in the car to leave, the radio was playing a song with the lyrics “I’m gonna get through this” but I honestly had no idea how. No war had started yet and no troops were in Iraq…my husband would be with the first group to enter the country.

I will not divulge the entire story of that deployment today, but will tell you that there were days when I was glued to the news hoping for any information about my husband’s unit because we had no contact with them for 40+ days. I will tell you that my sister Marine wives got me through that deployment which started out as a 3 month separation and turned into 8 very long and scary months. And I will tell you that when my husband got home he was safe, along with everyone else in his unit…even though they all were terribly thin, very tired and worn.

To date my husband’s unit has still not suffered any casualties, despite being the most deployed unit in the Marine Corps. And the conditions of deployment have improved greatly since that first time. But we will never again be able to go back to that feeling of security that we had on September 10, 2001. War is a harsh reality in my community now and is expected to be for many years to come. It is one that none of us like, but many of us realize as a necessity so that we will never have an attack on precious American soil…ever again. -- Erin Coates Whitehead

Erin, aka Erin the Marine Wife, is frequent mentioned on the Clouds site, and is a proud wife to a proud and brave Marine husband. Her site, Many Kind Regards, is one of my favorites, and she's also just started a website for The Brendon Scott Coates Foundation for children with cancer.

Arguing the Hotness of Ashley Tisdale (and other points of interest)

Just got finished with another movie, this time "I Love You Man", starring Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. Met Mikey at Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits after church, and we headed up to the Carmike Dollar Theater for a late night viewing. This has been a common ritual, we find a movie that both want to see, perhaps one that we just don't want to pay $7 bucks for, and we catch it at the dollar theater.

We started this trend while watching "The Marine", starring 5 time WWE Champion John Cena, but this didn't work with "12 Rounds", starring 5 time WWE Champion John Cena, because it was up one week, then gone the next. We also wished we had waited until the dollar theater to see "Punisher: War Zone" from last year. Mikey, you still owe me 9 bucks for that drivel.

As for "I Love You Man", it was funny enough. Not awesome, not terrible, but good for some good laughs. Great moments, Paul Rudd's delivery is solid as always, and Jason Segel is someone I could get used to laughing at. The appearance of Jon Favreau was a welcome sight, too, as it always is. And somehow, the character playing Zoe, Paul Rudd's fiance, got hotter as the movie went on. Found out later it was Rashida Jones, the daughter of Quincy Jones. Not a clue.

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Had this exchange with The Lovely Steph Leann while watching Ashley Tisdale's new video, airing in a snippet before the commercials & previews of one of our movies this past weekend:

Me: Ashley Tisdale. Still think she's hot.
The Lovely Steph Leann: She's a baby!
Me: Seriously, she's like, 23
The Lovely Steph Leann: Still, anyone you are ten years older than is... well, a baby
Me: Uh... Dennis Quaid? He's like, 50. Bradley Whitford, too.
The Lovely Steph Leann: (pause) Well... (pause)... I like older men. So there.


See... I think she's pretty hot. Maybe its just me.

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I did minor in sign language in college, and though I've forgotten most if it, it still piques my interest. Lil Sister Ashley and I were actually trying to take a sign class at nearby Six Flags of Brookhills, but we weren't able to go alot, and it fell through for both of us.

Still, its my love of sign and Fergie, a championship combination that is solid any way you put it, that makes me think this video is just awesome:

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Toni Rocki Honda is sick. I'm not sure if there's a cure. Apparently, her electrical system is screwed up, and sometimes she starts. Sometimes she doesn't. In fact, she doesn't give any indication of when she may or may not start. Seriously.

Monday morning, that being this past Memorial Day, I went out at 5:20a to drive over to Starbucks and work my 4 hour, time & a half shift. She turned over, but didn't start. Wouldn't start. I took The Lovely Steph Leann's car. Tuesday morning, I had Toni Rocki Honda towed over to my mechanic, Christian Brothers Automotive.

Today I get a call from them, and they basically tell me that something is shorting... out... the relay... switch (I scrunch my face to try to recall what it is that is wrong, and the words that were being used...) and they... can't figure it out...

Brandon: We've been running tests, and we can't figure out whats wrong.
Me: Wow. Just eliminating one thing after another?
Brandon: Pretty much. We haven't even done anything to fix it, but it just started working in the middle of us working on it.
Me: So you'll be doing more tests, huh?
Brandon: That's all we can do.
Me: You know this sounds like I'm on the phone with a doctor discussing the prognosis of my grandmother, right?

Hopefully, they'll figure it out... for all the debt-freedness we have going on, we cannot afford to just write a check for a new car. And car payments are not an option.

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New blog plugs...

Wookiee has his own blog now. He's not as chatty as I am, but he's much more into sports, or at least more knowledgeable, and has random thoughts just like me. You can find his blog right here.

As always, I have to mention Erin the Marine Wife, who has an excellent blog started. She calls it Many Kind Regards, and its all about being a mother and a Marine Wife, and some of her best work is when she dives into the life, struggles and hilarity's (what there are, I mean) of being a military wife. Check it out right here.

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Had a house guest here at The Cabana Extended Stay Suites & Resort Spa. About a month or so ago, out of the blue, Tyler the Brother in Law calls up his sister, my wife, and says, "Hey, I got a friend working in Birmingham this summer and doesn't have a place to stay for a few weeks... can she stay with you guys?"

"Do we know her?"
"No. But she's nice and all. You'll like her."


She'll probably kill me that I used this pic, but I lifted it from her Facebook page. It was hard to find, though, because she's with someone on just about every picture.

Her name is Davis-Ann, and that's just the first name. She's been here in our guest room for a few weeks, and today she moved out into the place she'll call home for the summer, at a friend's family place. She was really just wonderful, if I may be so old to say as such, she was quiet, polite, and clean. And she loves her coffee. She's going to hold down The Cabana when we head to The Happiest Place on Earth in a few weeks. She even mentioned us in her blog today... we feel special.

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Hilarious spoof. And pretty accurate.

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Want me to completely waste time and not do anything? Put me in front of the television, then turn on Investigative Discovery when there's a rerun of Dateline NBC or 48 Hours Hard Evidence. This past Saturday, I completely killed three hours just staring at this channel, as I saw a dentist who murdered his wife for his mistress, and a judge who was killed by a hired gun and another case of a love triangle gone wrong. Heck, its on right now, at 1:04 in the morning, and though I'm not watching it, I know its about some old chick who bought it at the hands of... well, we won't know until about 20 after. And I'll be done by then, hopefully.

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Made a new header for Clouds, I hope you like it. I also added pics of those people I often talk about on Clouds, like Mindy D'A, Mikey, Wookiee, J Rob, KT and many, many more. Eventually, I'll link those pics to their respective blogsites, if they have them.

I also added The Dave100 listing on the side, to which I'll add to from time to time. And I'm going to add a section on books I've read this year, so far, and movies I've seen this year, so far.

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And for tonight, that's a wrap.

Idol Styx It to Rock (now with results!)

RESULTS...

Here's the opening... we see glimpses and flashes of the remaining Idol contestants, they each tell us how ready they are to rock, how ready they are to win this whole thing, we see the judges comment here and there on various things, and Seacrest comes out to tell us that around 87,980,000,003 people voted last night, right after asking, "Who will graduate from the school of rock... and who will just get schooled?"

This, of course, is American Idol.

Tonight, No Doubt performs, as does Daughtry, as does Paula the Flake, so there's a good chance we might see some or all of the performances, but definately not the group song, and no chance on the Ford Commercial.

Randy the Dawg, Kara the New Hotness, looking especially New Hotnessed, Paula the Flake and Simon the Cowell all wave to the audience.

While I was working at The Happiest Place in the Mall, somewhere around 7:12pm, I heard a scream and a hoot from somewhere in the distance. It makes sense now. I heard Drew Morris when Slash came on stage to perform for the group song, which I skip past.

It speaks to how big this show has become... do you think Slash comes on to Idol back in Season One or Season Two? Heck no. No credibility. But now... now that its watched by around 67 billion people worldwide, added to the fact that he has an album coming out, yeah, Slash is pretty quick to take up the invite to Idol.

Seacrest heads to the Idols sitting upon the Couch of Safety, killing time, bantering, discussing the first Zeppelin song ever to be sung on Idol, that by The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert, plus giving more excuses and passes to The Widower Danny Gokey after his crazy screaming note at the end of the song last night. The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen... "We didn't like what you did with the song, even though you sounded good, but you sounded pitchy and so on...." but to The Widower Danny Gokey, "It's okay, its alright, we know you can do better, shh, its going to be just fine..."

And now, here comes Paula the Flake...

Here is what I want to hear from Paula the Flake...
"You're the whisper of a summer breeze..." OR
"Lost.... in a dream... don't know which... way to go..." OR
"You're a cold hearted snake (look into his eyes) Oh oh, he's been telling lies..." OR
"I got that Vibeology, that V-I-B-E-ology..." OR
"Hey baby... you got to remember... I'm forever your girl..." OR even
"Eagles calling, calling your name..." but what I really don't want to hear is this.

She's dressed up in an outfit that would have been perfect for her in 1991, when she was brand spankin' new on the scene... but perhaps not now. Its also important to note, that Paula, now what, 45? is not moving nearly as fast as she did back in 1991.

For those of you kiddies who just don't understand, who only know Paula Abdul as a flake and a joke and the Idol judge, let me tell you a story... back in the early 90s, she and Janet Jackson were the two best chick dancers alive. Their videos were unbelievable demonstrations of movement and rhythm, their music was fun, their albums were great, and both--especially Paula--were beautiful. What you know now as the blithering, blubbering, drooling pain killer induced Paula Abdul is nothing compared to how... well, for lack of a better word, how cool she used to be.

I give you the title track to her most excellent first CD, "Forever Your Girl". This is how awesome she used to be. Oh, and disregard that "MTV" in the corner of the video. This is back when they actually played a music video. You know, ever.


This song, the one she's doing, "I'm Just Here For the Music" is annoying. And I'm going to go on a very short limb and say that the song I just saw was prerecorded, because before the song, she was in a cutesy little beige dress, then she came out in the aforementioned too-skimpy-for-her-age costume, and now that the commercials are over, she's back in the beige dress.

But now... here's someone I can watch. Gwen Stefani, with No Doubt, doing their first big hit, "Just a Girl". As she sings, though, two things occur to me. First, she's so goofy, and weird, and yet, she's still hot. I mean, not too many chicks can do what she does, dress like she dresses and appear like she appears many times and still can be considered hot, but she pulls it off. Secondly, dear goodness she sounds terrible... absolutely terrible... she hasn't held any single note for longer than two seconds... its almost like she can't. I can't handle it. I fast forward. This song is definately not B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Old joke that I've told before, but will tell again because I have a new audience that may or may not have heard it... So, Gwen Stefani is married to Gavin Rossdale, lead of one of the hardest rockin' bands of the 90s, singer of such awesome rock classics like "Machinehead" and "Everything Zen"... obviously, he and his wife sing two different styles of music. Do you think he just sucks it up, and tells Gwen whatever she writes is good, even though he knows that he'd never, ever be associated with some of it otherwise? Like, I imagine this exchange...
Gwen: Hey, babe, come in here
Gavin: Yes, dear? Whats up?
Gwen: So I've written this awesome new song, and I want to read you the lyrics to this last part that I think is soooo awesome
Gavin: Sure babe, whats the title?
Gwen: Oh, its called "Hollaback Girl"
Gavin: (pausing) Holla... back... girl?
Gwen: Yeah, check this out... "Its bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. This s&^% is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S". See, I say "bananas", then I spell it! Isnt that awesome!?
Gavin: (pausing, speaking slowly) Yeah, thats... thats great, Gwenie... I, uh... I love it. I mean, Bananas. Thats... thats wonderful. So, uh... so cool and all
Gwen: So I was thinking, I had written a song for your new Bush album and...
Gavin: Uh, gotta go. Game's on.

Back to the show. The four Idols are standing backstage, awaiting Seacrest to call their name. He points to The Silver Stools... not of failure, but of Safety. There are only three. The Idols come out, and Seacrest says he'll announce them in random order.

My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta is first. Then The Widower Danny Gokey. Then The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert. Finally, The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen. One goes to The Silver Stools of Safety... and The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen gets the nod... this is good. No, this is awesome. He almost collapses, looking speechless with a shocked grin on his face.

While I was at The Happiest Place in the Mall, I also heard a squeal of glee around 7:43, and that makes sense now. It was Erin the Marine Wife screaming as Daughtry comes onstage. Seriously, though... Chris Daughtry, perhaps the coolest Idol ever. He really is an awesome dude. They'll be singing their first single, "No Surprise", off of their sophomore album "Leave This Town", which drops in July. Why is it that music critics and newsmakers say "sophomore" album and not just "2nd" album? The former is six letters and four seconds longer than the latter... hmm.

Song sounds good. I'll ask Erin the Marine Wife how the CD is, because she'll get it the day it comes out, I'm sure. I like Daughtry, the guy and the band, cause it just seems like he recognizes how lucky he is, and he gives kudos to the fans and supporters all the time, remembering they are who makes him so famous... good guy.

Okay, back to the real stuff. Who will join The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen on the Silver Stools of Safety? The second person to head that way is... The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert.

Well, we know this is the end for My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta... how great would it have been to see her to go to the Silver Stools of Safety, leaving The Goke and The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert competing for one spot? Alas, its over for My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta... I take the title back from her, write her name under My Previous Next American Idol Brooke White, and put it aside, awaiting a titleholder in 2010.

As the "journey montage" for My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta plays, I wonder if they've even edited one yet for Dead Wife Gokey or The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert, figuring they have another two weeks to finish it.
_______________________________________________

PERFORMANCES...

I'm shocked. I'm stunned, and ashamed and taken aback in a way that I'm not sure I could have fathomed mere moments ago, before I sat down at the laptop in the recliner here at The Cabana Extended Suites and Resort Spa. I'm just... speechless. You could have told me Lance Bass was gay, you could have told me that MSNBC is pro-Obama, you could have told me that Miley Cyrus really was Hannah Montana... and I would have believed all of those things, those undeniably incomprehendable things that I've only recently discovered as true before I believed the following words...

Paula Abdul is addicted to painkillers.

Sigh. What hath God wrought upon this world?

THIS

IS AMERICAN

IDOL

Its rock week here at American Idol, with our guest mentor, Slash, from Velvet Revolver, but you know him really from... well, is it Guns'N Roses, or Guns N Roses, or Guns N'Roses? Where does the ' lie? These are the things I lay awake at night thinking about.

Seacrest is telling us, and showing us, the part of the stage tower, with the big neon "IDOL" on it that collapsed. This is all George Bush's fault. Its him and his stupid hurricane machine that has cost this country trillions of dollars, when he could have spent that money on our country's failing infrastructure! Seriously! What kind of third world country do we live in when American Idol's neon towers are falling down? What's next? The top level of Deal or No Deal's staircase bends and breaks? President B. Hussein Obama, I plea to you!

We see a montage of Slash, and somewhere, Drew Morris is drooling on himself, convulsing and french kissing his TV screen. Honestly, this has to be one of the coolest mentors ever... Slash, not Drew Morris, though I can imagine Drew Morris would be kind of fun too.

The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert is singing "Whole Lotta Love", and I imagine the number of screeches in a Led Zeppelin cover might be in the hundreds. Slash echoes The Lovely Steph Leann in saying that TAGAL is effortless and has such a range and so on and so forth.

Except for the fact he looks like a gay Hillary Swank from "Boys Don't Cry" (is that an oxymoron? or just redundant?) he sounds a whole lotta like Robert Plant. If I were Robert Plant, I'd call up Jimmy Page and ask him to kick me in the face for sounding like this.

Randy the Dawg loves him. Loves him. He might go gay for him. He tells The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert that he is in fact a rock star. He should be making a rock record. I can see Scott Weiland and Trent Reznor, in a heroin induced rage, beating the crap out of The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert backstage, actually. "Stupid alternative lifestyle guy bringing your alternative lifestyles into our rockin' party atmosphere!" or something like that.

Kara the New Hotness looks like she's stepped out of an Expose video. She tells him he should be making music with Nine Inch Nails. As Trent himself, watching--cause I'm sure he is--is probably saying, "Hailz to the No." Paula the Flake blubbers, and Simon the Cowell loves it too.

Can I be honest here? It sounded good. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself so much. I'm now going to put up a Nancy Pelosi poster and join the Sierra Club.

My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta is taking on "Crybaby" from Janis Joplin. Slash tells her to be more confident, and bring it all out when she sings.

Here's what I dig about My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta... I love the raspy voice thing. She reminds me kind of Sheryl Crow, and I loves me some Sheryl Crow. She's belting out the song, one that I'm not all that familiar with--honestly, my Joplin expertise begins and ends with "...freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." and so "Crybaby" is one I don't know well. I've heard it, just don't know it.

Either way, I think My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta is awesome. Of course, she's not The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert, so the judges won't love her nearly as much. Randy the Dawg didn't love the song, wanting more of a melody in the song. Kara the New Hotness loved the Joplin bluesy rock, but said she should have taken on "Piece of My Heart" (oh yeah, she did that before Faith Hill, didn't she?).

Paula the Flake blubbers. Simon the Cowell reminds her that she is still 17. He chides her for not being original, even though he loved The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert for singing EXACTLY like Page and Plant. Who sang the lead on "Whole Lotta Love" anyway? Was it Page? Was it Plant?

And now, we have our first duet of the evening, nay, of the entire show. A new little twist, with The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen and The Widower Danny Gokey doing a song together. And they are doing Styx's "Renegade". This song is FREAKIN' AWESOME...

(putting down the keyboard while I pay attention to this...)

(picking up the keyboard)

This song cracks me up... not The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen and The Goke's version, I will get to that in a minute...

Back in the late 70s, early 80s, you had these soft pop rock bands... REO Speedwagon and Ambrosia and Firefall and Air Supply and the like, and they had one purpose and one purpose only... to sing songs that you related to your relationships. That was it.

Happy with the girl you have? "You Are the Woman" by Firefall, or "Still the One" by Orleans. Longing to tell someone how you felt about her? "Can't Fight This Feeling" by the Speedwagon. Need a completely overblown and silly, yet FREAKIN' AWESOME anthem song? "Makin' Love Out of Nothing At All" by Air Supply would do it. And Styx is in this catagory. Listen just once to "Lady" or "Babe" or "Come Sail Away" and you learn that Styx, in fact, does not rock. They soft rock.

So when I hear "Renegade", it makes me laugh. Its like when Lucas (a film in The Dave100, by the way) the band geek tries to play football and gets crushed... it is almost comical. And a song about a guy who has a bounty on his head and is about to be executed by hanging--"lawman is coming down from the gallows and I don't have very long"--is even better. Don't get me wrong, I love the song, its got several plays on my iPod, but its an unintentionally funny song.


Here's Daughtry doing his version of "Renegade"... Erin the Marine Wife might pass out.

And somehow, two guys who do not rock, who in fact, soft rock, like The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen and The Widower Danny Gokey singing this song somehow fits... Randy the Dawg liked it okay. He loved the harmonies, which were really good. Kara the New Hotness makes my point about these two guys singing this rock song. Paula the Flake blithers. Simon the Cowell has no idea what to say, telling them that The Goke was better than TLSLNAIK'Allen.

So now that The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen is winded from a duet with The Goke singing a crazy Styx power song, let's make him do his solo song! Meanwhile, The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert sings first, and is backstage, taking a rest before his duet at the end of the show. Hmmm...

The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen is doing The Beatles' "Come Together", a song either awesomely, or awfully, remade by Michael Jackson, I'm not sure which. It sounds great, not fanastic, but great.

Randy the Dawg appreciated the song, while Kara the New Hotness said he is the softer side of rock, and wasn't great tonight. Paula the Flake drools. Simon the Cowell didn't like it.

That scream I just heard from all parts of Birmingham was a collective squeal from Emmy Turnbow, Cindy Jo Warner, Stacy "Wife of the 13th Disciple" Mintz and a few other moms around town because The Widower Danny Gokey just appeared onscreen again.

The Goke is doing "Dream On", a classic from Aerosmith. Still sounding like Tommy Shaw from Styx, trying to rock out, The Goke does his thing. And not to let The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert have all the screechy fun, The Widower Danny Gokey does his own end-of-song screech. And the whole song is not all that great.

Randy the Dawg didn't like the song that much, but gives him an A for Effort. Kara the New Hotness tells him that he sounded too over the top. Paula the Flake quivers. Simon the Cowell hated that last note, admitting what everyone things... "With [The Ambiguously Gay] Adam Lambert, it worked. With you, Dead Wife, it didn't."

A crashing of two worlds occurs now, as The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert and My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta come together. Right now. Over me.

"Slow Ride" by Foghat is the song that will be rocked and screeched. When I hear this song, I automatically think of "Dazed and Confused", another The Dave100 movie. The song comes to an end, and now we'll hear the judges rant and rave and fall all over themselves for The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert, and just by being close, they might even give My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta a compliment.

Randy the Dawg loves it. Kara the New Hotness loves it. Paula the Flake blabbers. Simon the Cowell tells them they win the Duet Battle. The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert hugs My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta, and he thinks, "So this is what a woman feels like? Eew. I don't like it. As if."

Tonight... My Next American Idol Allison Ireaheta, The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert, The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen and The Widower Danny Gokey...