The 100 Coolest Things of 2010... #60 to 51

Hey... its The SOB!  (no, not me... I mean... Day One of The Summer of Blogging...)

Yes, yes, its the summer and I'm still talking about 2010.   But I'm hoping to get through this list in the next week or two!  So, let's recap...

Basketball movies, SMU scandals and Hurricane Rhett's movie crushes are part of the 100th through 91st coolest things of 2010...  in the 90th through 81st coolest things of the year, we talked about old people with guns, steak roll-ups, and an Oscar winning Sandy B... and then, from 80th through 71st, it was The A-Team, Tron's new Legacy and finding Somebody to Love... then we discussed Hawaii's new show, narcissim on Facebook and candles in the 70th through 61st coolest things of the year...

60... Disney Meets Autism
This is by no means the lesser of our Disney vacations in 2010, its just the first one I wanted to talk about... The Lovely Steph Leann and I decided to treat her cousin Karen and their family, consisting of hubby Eric and children Hannah and Wyatt... the thing to know about Hannah and Wyatt is that they are severly autistic.  I dont know alot about autism, so I won't try to put them on a level of severity, but just know its a pretty big deal (as autism is).

Myself and Hannah, having a blast on Test Track

Cousin Karen actually called ahead to Disney about her children, specifically to the restaurants we were going to dine in and talked to the chefs about her children's eating limitations and allergies.  I was highly impressed on how responsive they were!  In all of the restaurants we ate at, the chef would come out and discuss with Cousin Karen some food options, and at Donald's Tusker House Breakfast in Animal Kingdom, the chef even brought out gluten free Mickey waffles specifically made for the kids.

We had a "disability pass" allowing us to use handicap entrances and skip many lines--I am sure that Cousin Karen would take perfectly healthy children waiting in long lines over autistic kids getting straight onto rides--but it is what it is, and we made the best of it.  Only one meltdown, that being when Jasmine messed around with Hannah's Hannah Montana hat, and Hannah wasn't having it.  At.  All. 

It was a fun trip, though, a good time spent with Cousin Karen, Hubby Eric and the kids, and of course, anytime you can spend money and time in Walt Disney World, its a good, good thing. 

59... SI Wants the Playoffs
I love my Sports Illustrated, and it shares the honor of being bathroom reading material with the latest Entertainment Weekly--that's not a bad thing, or a mock compliment, thats a compliment--and sometimes, an article jumps out that is worthy of reading and re-reading... like one in November of 2011, entitled "What a Concept!  Playoffs!  How (and why) the BCS is Blocking What College Football Needs". 

Its an in-depth opinion on the myth that the BCS works just fine and its a money-haven for college football programs, and how the bowl games are so lucrative for teams that participate... it tells us that

"Halftime entertainment at the Jan. 1, 2009, Outback Bowl was provided by the [ Iowa ] Hawkeye Marching Band. And how did the Tampa Bay Bowl Association, which runs the game, thank the band for that gratis performance? By charging the university $65 a head for each of the 346 band members. According to university records submitted to the NCAA, the school was forced to purchase face-value tickets totaling $22,490 for the band, even though the game wasn't sold out."

In fact, the bowl system, and sub-sequent payout is so convuluted that sometimes a football program actually saves money when they don't go bowling...

"Most conferences pool all their bowl payouts, using the bigger-money BCS games to cover the losses incurred in the smaller games. Thus does the Rose Bowl help subsidize the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl-a bowl bailout system that indeed spreads the wealth. Bowl directors privately admit that fewer than half the bowls could survive without the financial support from the schools.



Meanwhile, the sad sack programs that fail to qualify for a bowl often end up in the best financial position. As former Michigan AD Bill Martin said after the 2009 season, ‘The fact we didn't go to a bowl game the last two years means we actually made money.' "

...wait, success is rewarded by costing you more money, and the underachievers are given more?  Glad our country doesn't work like that...  anyway, I'd love to tell you that you can read this article online, but I had to sign up for the digital version of my print subscription, but if you can find it, its a great article.

58... Sly Blows Stuff Up
Ah, "The Expendables"... a movie I was so looking forward to that I even wrote a preview post for it last summer... and I wasn't disappointed.

Who doesn't love this movie?  Seriously... who doesn't want to see Sly Stallone with Dolph Lundgren and Jet Li and Randy Couture and Jason Statham and Mickey Rourke go all bad-A and 80s VHS star Eric Roberts be the bad guy and Stone Cold Steve Austin get all wicked bad and see things blow up and explode and see Bruce Willis and Ahnold and Sly share the same room and every action movie cliche played up, especially the one where every one on the team is a "specialist", a la "the weapons specialist" and the "explosives specialist" and the "martial arts specialist" and what is the movie even about?

Some crap about a corrupt government and the overthrow of a brutal dictator and so on and so on and who gives a rip.  Did you read that cast that I listed above?  Seriously.  It's awesome.  If you like real substance and deep plotlines, then don't watch this movie.

If you like the nostalgia of 80s and 90s action stars and cheese ball action movies with ridiculous things that blow up and over-the-top shootings and F-bombs being dropped like they were hot tamales, then this is the movie for you. 

57... We Get to See Dixon
Who doesn't love seeing old friends after a decade, or 14 years, goes by?   The Lovely Steph Leann spends a couple of days in Pensacola per month, and every now and again, I am able to go with her.  Usually, its a "drive down Thursday morning, she goes to work, does her thing, have a nice dinner, spend the night, take our time coming back Friday" kind of thing, and September 2010's trip was just like that.

This time, though, I was able to contact my old pal Dixon who lived in the area, and not only were we excited to see each other, she was pumped to see The Lovely Steph Leann--a reader of this blog, she knows my wife only as The Lovely Steph Leann, so for her, it was exciting to put a voice and a personality with the name and face that she sees online.

In writing about it, I said:  Dixon and I have known each other since 1993, and were friends all through college, and during dinner, I'm sure we bored the stew out of The Lovely Steph Leann with our "Oh, I remember when you..." and "Do you know that..." and "When you did that, I..." tales. She was quick to include The Lovely Steph Leann though, frequently turning to her and saying, "Oh my gosh, did d$ ever tell you about the time he and..." to which my wife would say, "No, tell me!" and there goes the story.

The post is called "Mobile Meanderings and Dixon Dinners", and you can read the whole thing by clicking here, and you can even see the link for the first day of Pensacola.

56... The Saints Win the Super Bowl
Growing up, the New Orleans Saints were always a joke.  It took them several decades to even make the playoffs, much less win a playoff game, and though they had some random flashes of brilliance here and there, mostly... well, they just sucked.

But in the last five or six years, they have begun to become a real franchise.  With the 2006 addition of Drew Brees (who left San Diego after being replaced by Philip Rivers, who does not have a ring), plus key players and a solid coaching staff not including anyone named Ditka, it came together... they did have two straight disappointing seasons in 2007 and 2008, going 7-9 and 8-8 respectively, but made the NFC title game a season later.  And in the 2009 season, they began to roll... and roll they did, into the playoffs, into January 2010.

And after a thrilling overtime win over the Vikings (Favre threw a pick to end the game... surprising), they ended up embarrassing the heavily favored Indy Colts, winning 31-17.  Of course, this was the first Super Bowl in over 20 years that I did not see at least a little bit of--myself and The Lovely Steph Leann were in the backseat of a car, riding with Snow White and her friend, Sidekick Sarah, but we'll get to that later in the 2010 list. 

So, the Saints won the Super Bowl.  It was like the Falcons making the Super Bowl in the late 90s... just strange.

55... Marky Mark Throws Punches
Here's one I didn't think I'd like as much as I did.   Mark Wahlberg stars as Micky Ward, a local boxer from Lowell, Massachussetts, who is managed by his mom, Alice (Melissa Leo) and is sort of trained by his troubled, alcoholic, addict brother Dicky (Christian Bale).

Marky Mark talks to my Hollywood Girlfriend

Micky is considered a "stepping stone" boxer, one who is used to help elevate other boxers, and its proven when he's destroyed by a mismatch that he never should have faced.  He meets Charlene (Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with) and his life begins to turn around.   Things get worse before they get better, though, as Micky sees his beloved brother Dicky screw up over and over, until he finally has to wash his hands of Dicky, while his overbearing mom blames Charlene for their family troubles, as do his seven sisters--in one hilarious scene, Charlene takes them all on in a fight on the porch.

The movie is extremely well-acted, and when it was over, I was pretty sure that Christian Bale would not only be nominated for an Oscar for his Dicky Ward portrayal, I was fairly sure he'd win it--he was and he did.  Mark Wahlburg is probably the least talented of the group of actors he's surrounded by, and he still gives a great performance as Micky, and of course, my eyes were locked on Amy Adams (whom I'm in love with) every time she was on the screen.  She ended up with an Oscar nom of his own (she lost to Melissa Leo, and although I wanted Amy Adams--whom I'm in love with--to win, I was satisfied with it) and did her part perfectly.

I loved this film, and as the years go by, I hope it gains stature and more acclaim.   Does have lots of Boston accent language, with lots of F-words being tossed around, boxing violence along with some real world violence, and a make out scene that features Amy Adams (whom I'm in love with) in some tight shorts and her underthings. 

54... The Good Guys Take on the Bad Guys
When its all said and done, Survivor will go down as one of my top ten, maybe even top five favorite series ever, be it scripted or reality.  And its seasons like the on that aired in the spring of 2010, "Heroes vs. Villians", the 20th season of the show, that makes me love this show so much.

They had brought back previous contestants before, like "All Stars" in Season 8 and some seasons where one or two contestants had a second chance, but this time, they did a great job selecting "Heroes", those players who seemed to really play an outstanding game with integrity--Stephenie, JT, Cirie--and "Villians", those who lied and clawed their way through the game--Jerri, Coach, Randy--and most notably, featured the first match-up between Boston Rob and Russell Heinz, who should have won the year before in Samoa.  Rob was ousted halfway through the game, while Russell made it to the top three.

Now, as much as I loved this season, the reason it doesn't rank higher is that the eventually winner, Sandra, was a prime example of  "riding coattails" and "ticked off the least amount of people".  Some will argue that Russell was robbed the previous year (he was) and also should have won "Heroes vs. Villians" (he shouldn't have )... Parvati should have taken this season, but played the season so well she was disliked by everyone, mostly because everyone was voted off directly and indirectly at Parvati's command.  That's how you play Survivor.

53... Mickey Warms My Hands
We went to The Most Magical Place on Earth in December (you'll hear about that later) and was able to meet up with one of my very favorite people in the whole world, Melanie (you'll hear about her later).  She and her family (again, later), and myself and The Lovely Steph Leann enjoy good food, good rides and good shows, but braved the winter in Florida. 

The "winter" in Florida is more of a "kinda cool", especially when compared to the rest of the country, but nonetheless, it was cold.  And I finally had to break down and buy some gloves.  Gloves are a tricky thing, really, because though they work well when driving, using my hands for writing or texting or any other thing that includes opposible thumbs sometimes comes across difficult.  Which is why when I saw the Disney gloves I am referring to on the shelf, I wanted them. 

And they are the best gloves I've ever owned.  Love them.

52... A Cap Gets Popped

Thank you, Melanie.  You rule.

I'm a ballcap guy.  I don't wear caps much when my hair is short, or when I am wearing my glasses (I think I look uberdorky with glasses and a cap), but sometimes, I love just tossing one of my many beloved caps on my wet, fresh outta the shower head and going.

I have three caps that I wear on a rotating basis... one is a grey Florida Gators hat I bought some years ago, right after they won the championship.  Go Gators.  Another is a khaki hat with a Mickey silhouette in the corner.  Goes well with most things I wear.  And finally, there is the one that Melanie brought back to me after she went to Disney for a few days.

And its my favorite hat. 

51... Bad Movies Get Props
In one of the trips to Pensacola I went on, we stopped at a random Barnes & Noble for The Lovely Steph Leann to get her some reading materials... she usually heads for The Romance Section, and I make my way through the bargain aisle, glancing to and fro, left and right in case something catches my eye, then end up in the Film/TV/Entertainment section.  I will pick up a random book or two and read a page or two, sometimes about Molly Ringwald and the Breakfast Club, sometimes about 1001 Movies I Gotta See Before I Die, sometimes about American Idol, sometimes about Dreamworks SKG...

And every now and again, I'll pick up a book and flip through it and read a page.  And then another.  And then another.  And  then another, until I'm sitting on the floor reading the book from the beginning until time to go.  And this time, I did just that, picking up "Showgirls, Teen Wolves and Astro Zombies" by Michael Adams.  Subtitled "A film critic's year long quest to find the worst movie ever made", it is exactly what it says it is.

A few years ago, the author Adams spent an evening watching the horrific Hilary Duff movie "Material Girls", and after avoiding gouging his eyes out, surfed on IMDB for some information.  He was surprised to find it, at least at the time, to be #1 on IMDB's Bottom 100 Movies, the 100 movies that fans gave the lowest ranking possible on the movie website.  He figured as bad as it was, it couldn't have been the worst movie of all time... could it?  Only one way to find out.

He then devoted the next year of his life, starting the following January, to watch horrible movies all year long to determine the worst movie ever made.  He ends up spending thousands of dollars on Amazon to get such movies to watch, and chapter by chapter, catagorized by month, he watches and details the worst of the worst.  At the end of every monthly chapter, he lists the worst seen that month, then the actual worst of the month... starting in January, and going through December, those are as follows:  "Search for the Beast" (January)... "The Guy from Harlem" (February)... "Superbabies" (March)... "Manos: Hands of Fate" and "Police Academy: Mission to Moscow" (tie for April)... "Grad Night" and "Da Hip Hop Witch" (May)... "Narcosys" (June)... "Hollywood High Part II" (July)... "Green River Killer" (August, and notable because Adams declares this film's director, Ulli Lommel, the worst director ever)... "Black Devil Doll From Hell" (September, a film so obscure that there isn't even any cover art in IMDB)... "The Corpse Grinders II" and "Mark of the Astro-Zombies" (October)... "Big Sister 2000" and "Toad Warrior" (November)... and in December, "Dark Harvest 2: The Maize". 

And yes, one of those movies was considered by Adams as "The Worst Movie Ever".  The beauty of this book is that he knows these movies are bad, he never tries to defend their worth, but yet, still revels in the awfulness of them.  He cracks wise and jokes all the way through it, many times with a "I cannot fathom how terrible this is" tone, and he goes after more recent and familiar fare too, like "It's Pat" and of course, "Showgirls".   

 I'm not a guy who watched a ton of cult classics and obscure films and such, so I hadn't seen most of those movies... though I did come across "Manos: Hands of Fate" online, and yes, its bad.   This book is an easy, entertaining read, giving you the reviews of these films so you don't have to watch them.  I loved this book.

Coming up... training a dragon... engagements abound... and what Christians like... and later, a gritty book becomes a gritty novel

The 2011 Oscar Running Diary

Well, let's get it on, shall we!  Its time for our annual running diary of the Academy Awards.  I'm here in the recliner, laptop open, keyboard in lap, while The Lovely Steph Leann is over on the couch, snuggled up in a Snuggie, ready to go. 

She has been out a bridal shower in East Podunk, Alabama, so when the sat down, the first thing she saw while watching the Red Carpet special was Robert Downey Jr, and the first thing she said was, "Oh no!  He's wearing a navy blue suit?  Really?  Robert!"

Its time.

732p... a quick recap of the best picture nominees with some of the classic lines from the last year... "If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook." 

732p... we open with a classic parody of nominated movies, this time involving Oscar hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway, with an appearance by Alec Baldwin, first intersparsing themselves in Inception, then with The Social Network and then The Fighter.  They appear on a horse in a clip of True Grit (James Franco tells Jeff Bridges, as Rooster Cogburn, "Hey, I loved you in TRON!").

735p... Morgan Freeman and his voice!  More Alec Baldwin!  And James and Anne are in the Back to the Future DeLorean!  This is a fun little opening...

739p... James and Anne, who looks AB-SO-LUTE-LEE GOR-GEE-US by the way, hit the stage.  She even tells James, "You look very appealing... to a younger demographic..."   They banter back and forth, even talking to Anne's mom, and James' mom and grandma, who smiles and says, "I... just saw... Marky Mark..." 

Its common knowledge that Mark Wahlberg hates the Marky Mark reference, but he seems to go along with it with a smile, if not a smirk.

Tonight, they are going to be looking back at some great Oscar winners from the last century, and they kick this off with Gone with the Wind.  The Lovely Steph Leann absolutely loves this movie, all seven hours of it.

742p... Tom Hanks comes out, and discusses Gone With the Wind's awards in 1939.  And he also discusses those films who have previously won Art Direction and Cinematography, and says the last movie to win these two, plus Best Picture, was my 9th favorite film of all time, Titanic. 

Art Direction prize goes to "Alice in Wonderland".  Crap.  I'm 0-1 already.  I tell The Lovely Steph Leann that I picked "The King's Speech" and she says, "Really?  Kings Speech?   Hmmm..."

746p... Tom Hanks now introduces Cinematography, and the Oscar goes to, "Inception".  And again, I picked "The King's Speech".  I'm 0-2.  The Lovely Steph Leann just laughs.  She didn't pick the winners, she is just laughing at me.

750p... Commercial break.  I say, "Well, those goes my attempt at going 24-0.  I'm Oh for 2 right now."  She laughs, hard. 

751p... James and Anne greet us after the break, and introduce Kirk Douglas, who comes out with a cane, and gets an immediate standing ovation.  I have been watching Kirk Douglas movies since I was like, 3 years old, no joke.  He's struggling to talk, with the effects of a few strokes.  He tells James Franco, "You look much better out of the cave... and Anne Hathaway... SHE'S GORGEOUS!!  Where were you when I was making pictures?!"

752p... Kirk Douglas is doing the Supporting Actress Award... usually, last year's Supporting Actor gives out this years Supporting Actress, and vice versa, and the same with Actor/Actress.  I am wondering if they are letting screen legends do the acting awards?  That would be cool.

754p... So, the guy is just standing there with the golden envelope, while Kirk Douglas ribs Colin Firth and Hugh Jackman in the audience, and he opens the envelope and holds the winner in his hands, and just keeps talking.   We are cracking up here.

757p... The Oscar goes to Melissa Leo for The Fighter.  Now its a race to see how many in a row I can lose.   Standing next to Melissa Leo, Kirk Douglas says, "You are much more beautiful than you looked in The Fighter".   She starts stammering, and The Lovely Steph Leann whispers, "Get it together, dear, you don't have much time..."  She manages to even drop the F-bomb...

Mila on tonight's Red Carpet

8p... Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake come out together, and Mila Kunis might be the hottest dressed one here tonight.  They are doing the Best Animated Feature, and Best Animated Short... finally, at least I'll get one right!   For Best Animated Short, the winner is The Lost Thing.  Yay, 0-4. 

805p... And here's the Biggest Lock of the Night.  Toy Story 3.  When Mila makes the nominee announcement for Toy Story 3, the audience gives a huge applause.  Toy Story 3 wins.  Finally, I get on the board... 1-4.

812p... Anne meets us from the break, and tells us about the very first Academy Awards in 1929, happening at The Roosevelt Hotel, across from the Oscars current location, the Kodak Theater.

813p... Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem comes out together, to give the Adapted and Original Screenplay awards.  They also are dressed almost exactly alike.  Not a great look.  My picks for Adapted are The Social Network and The Kings Speech for Original.

814p... And the Oscar goes to... Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network!  I got 2 right!   Aaron comes up and gives a pleasant speech, and its based on a book called "The Accidental Billionaires".  I've got 2 credits built up on Audible.com, think I'll use one of them on this.   The orchestra starts to play, but doesn't play him off, because he keeps talking.

816p... Now, its Original Screenplay, and I went with The King's Speech.  Josh and Javier, the White Tux Twins, gives the Oscar to The Kings Speech.  I lost four in a row, but have now won three straight!! 

818p... David Seidler, who wrote The King's Speech, is probably in his 70s, and starts his speech with, "My father always said... I'll be a late bloomer..."  The audience, and us, laugh heartily.   The gave Kirk Douglas as much time as he wanted, because he's Kirk Douglas, but now they are having to play catch-up by rushing winning speeches.

823p... Anne, still smoldering, even though she's in a tux, is back from break.   She begins singing a version of "On My Own" (for Les Mis) calling out Hugh Jackman for standing her up for a duet she was supposed to sing.   James Franco comes out in a pink dress, blond wig and horrible lipstick, saying, "You wore a tux, I wore this.  Weird part is, I just got a message from Charlie Sheen..."

825p... Russell Brand and Helen Mirren, the most attractive 93 year old on Earth, come out together now.  Helen speaks French, Russell incorrectly "translates".  They are here to give Best Movie By a Dang Fer-ah-ner.  The winner is "In a Better World".  There goes my winning streak, and I'm 3-5 for the night.  The chick director is doing her best English, though I'm wondering how long they will let her talk before you hear the music... and there it is...

829p... And Ashley Judd Club member Reese Witherspoon comes out, looking so classy and awesome.  And she's here for the Best Supporting Actor.   I'll take Reese over Mo'nique (last years Supporting Actress winner) any day of the week, and fourteen times on Sunday.  And Monday.  And Wednesday.

Unshaved Christian Bale and his wife

830p... Unshaven Christian Bale is not a pleasant sight. 

830p... And the Oscar goes to Unshaven Christian Bale.  And his hair doesn't match his beard.  We might be 2 for 2 on F-Bombs from The Fighter tonight!

831p... How weird is it to hear Christian Bale speak in his native British tongue?  No joke. 

834p... So Christian looks over and acknowledges his wife, then stammers without saying her name.  The Lovely Steph Leann thinks Bale got choked up, but I think that Christian Bale just forgot his wife's name.  Seriously?

837p... Okay, so he just got choked up.  He teared up when talking about his daughter, choked up when discussing his wife, and plugged Dicky's website (the guy the his character was based on)  Fine, it was a good speech.

Bathroom break needed for both of us.  Show is on pause via DVR.   We are about 4.5 minutes behind... we'll catch up at the commercial break

843p... Here comes... well, I don't recognize them, but does it matter?  I dunno.  Its a little speech recognizing the marriage between ABC and The Academy Awards.   Shameless self promotions.

844p... Anne is out again, looking like... well, that dress is awkward.  Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman come out to award the award for Score.  We get a Sound history lesson, and an orchestra appears to play some of the more memorable scores from film.   I went with "The Social Network" on this.

847p... The winner is... Trent Reznor for "The Social Network".  Who da thunk five years ago that Nine Inch Nails would win an Oscar?  I loved Inception's score more, but I can deal with "Network".  I'm 5-5 for the night!  I'm coming back!

849p... Here comes the award for Sound Mixing and Sound Editing, with me picking Inception for both.  Seems like they would go hand in hand.   Here comes the very attractive Scarlett Johansson and the not so attractive Matthew McConaughey to give the awards... the winner of Mixing?  Inception.  The winner of Editing?  Inception?  Ha!  Seven wins for me! 

852p... I think to over/under for Christopher Nolan being thanked tonight is somewhere around 4,300.

856p... Back from break, Anne and James are introducing Marisa Tomei.  James Franco has a squinting problem.

856p... Marisa Tomei is in my All Time Most Beautiful Actresses Like, Ever Hall of Fame.  I love love love love love love Marisa Tomei.  She's telling us the tech awards that aren't shown on this broadcast.   James Franco says, "Congrats, nerds!"

858p... Every time I think Cate Blanchett is beautiful, she shows up not being so.  Tonight?  She's beautiful.  She tells us about Lord of the Rings, winner of the makeup award.  For makeup, its Rick Baker who has like, 87 Oscars.  Make it 88, and I got an 8th win tonight.   Daddy's on a roll, baby cakes!

859p... The Lovely Steph Leann likes to pick and choose the catagories she wants to predict, and out of the three she has picked, she's 3-0.  Of course, she picked Toy Story 3, which was as big of a lock as any award in history.  Which means she picked Alice in Wonderland for Costume Design, and that means its going to win.

901p... And the Oscar goes to?  Not True Grit, my pick, now making me 8-6 on the night.  Its Alice.

902p... The chick who won is reading her speech.  When was the last time anyone actually read their speech?   She gets to the bottom of the page as the orchestra plays her offstage. 

903p... Favorite movie song?  Wow... "I've Had the Time Of My Life"... "Beauty and the Beast"... "How Do You Know" from Enchanted... "Against All Odds"... and He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected is onscreen, telling us "Time Goes By"?  What?  Random.

905p... Kevin Spacey is out to introduce the songs that are nominated... first is Randy Newman, who has his 20th nomination this year.  He's doing "We Belong Together" from Toy Story 3.  Next is Mandy Moore and Zach Levi to do "I See The Light" from Tangled... Zach Levi is a Christ Follower, by the way? 

907p... Mandy Moore is stunning, but Anne has her beat tonight.  (in fairness, Reese tops them both, Mila Kunis in that dress beats all three, and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, tops them all).  Zach Levi looks like a welfare Ben Affleck.  

909p... Commercial break!   Want to see an incredible Oscar song performance?  Click here.

911p... James Franco introduce Jake Gyllenhaal and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and the are out to award Documentary Short Film.   Jake says it best in saying, "Shorts are also the hardest things to pick on your Oscar ballot... so see the shorts, and you might be a winner."   The Lovely Steph Leann isn't picking this catagory, by the way.   I chose "Killing in the Name", and the winner is "Strangers No More".  I'm 8-7 so far. 

912p... And now Best Live Action Short Film.  My pick was "God of Love" and WOO-HOO!  I picked that one!  Yeah!  I'm back!

Luke Matheny and his fro in a pre-Oscar photo op

916p... Luke Matheny is giving the speech for the win, looks about 7 feet tall and has a fro the size of Red Robin.  Awesome.  He races through the thank-yous, including his mom, who did craft services for the film.  Awesome speech. 

917p... James and Anne are back, and there's a sight gag on movies that aren't musicals that they parody into musicals... including "Harry Potter", "Toy Story 3" and Timberlake on "The Social Network".  This little montage should win Best Editing.   The Twilight spot is called "He Doesn't Own a Shirt", featuring Taylor Lautner.  That was funny.

919p... The next presenter?  Oprah.  Who's network is really struggling, by the way.   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oprah looks like she's putting on weight", and I respond, "Doesn't she always?"

920p... Oprah is giving out The Best Documentary of the Year award.  No news on whether Algore has given back the one he won for An Inconvenient Truth, which turned out be A Big Fat Piece of Crap.   The Oscar goes to?  Inside Job.  I picked Restrepo.  Apparently, Inside Job is about the banking and housing collapse, so had I known that, I would have gone with it.  These are the same people who won for the anti-Iraqi doc "No End in Sight".  And the speech bascially starts out with, "Rich people suck."

926p... Anne is back, looking all awesome and good looking, and she introduces former Oscar host--someone who did it best for years--Billy Crystal.  He even gets a standing ovation.  "The producers asked me to tell you that we are running long... so here's the nominees for Best Picture..."

928p... Its a look back at the first televised Oscars, with Bob Hope hosting it 18 times.  Billy Crystal has been out for 30 seconds, and he's the funniest thing tonight not named Kirk Douglas.   So now, we take a look back at the 25th Annual Academy Awards, hosted by Bob Hope.  Bob says, "The Academy Awards, or as its known at my house, Passover."  Its a hologram of Bob on the real Oscar podium, introducing what else...

931p... Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law come out to do Visual Effects.  Token shot at RDJ's ho filled past by Jude Law, mildly funny banter, and to the nominees we go!  I went with Inception... and the winner is... Inception.  During the clip, they showed the hallway fight scene, and the big tunnel made to do that scene--you can't show that and then not give Inception the award.  Its a techie sweep!  And I get my 10th win!  And... I still have 8 losses.  Boo.

934p... Film Editing is the next award.  I chose The Social Network, and the winner is... Facebook!  11-8!

937p... S'Ray just texted me the following:  The dress that the escort taking people off stage was
designed by Borris Powell... my high school drum major from the little town of Piedmont, Alabama.

940p... I asked "Is he a fashionista now?" and he replies, "He was on the red carpet tonight and reported that Valentino loved his design."  So, there ya go.

940p... James and Anne are back... Anne is ravishing in red.  James makes some innuendo jokes on movie titles (Winter's Bone?) and they introduce Jennifer Hudson, who then introduces the final two songs nominated for Best Song.  First is "If I Rise" from "127 Hours". 

942p... I am now going to sing the first part of "If I Rise"... "fa la wa wa la wa wa... fla wa lo lo la la..."

943p... Here's Gwynth Paltrow to sing her song from "Country Strong", the one I picked to win the award.   And the winner is?  The one I didn't think would get it, Randy Newman's "We Belong Together" from Toy Story 3.  I'm 11-9 on the night, and The Lovely Steph Leann is irritated that the Tangled song didn't win.

948p... Twenty noms, only his 2nd win.  That's kinda wrong.

949p... The Lovely Steph Leann is still railing against Tangled's loss.

951p... Just saw on Facebook... Discussing the chick who sang the song from "127 Hours", Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone) says, "I want Florence from Florence and the Machine to go to Melissa Clark and get a new hairstyle.."

952p... Celine Dion brings us back from break, and its the In Memorium montage.  Celine Dion looks like she's 54, trying desperately to look 34.   So far, no applause for anyone yet, even though they showed Tony Curtis already. 

Corey Haim.  December 23, 1971 to
March 10th, 2010.  Rest in Peace, Lost
Boy, Rest in Peace.

953p... With no applause for Leslie Nielsen, I am now guessing they have the Applause-o-Meter turned off.  There's no way Leslie doesn't get a round of clapping.   Don't know who Susanna York is, but she had bad teeth.  Hope that didn't contribute to her death...

955p... My guess would be that Dennis Hopper and Blake Edwards would get the biggest round of applause for the night, but no clapping until the very end.  Out comes Halle Berry to tell us about Lena Horne, who died this past year.  She gets a good tribute, and we fade to commercial...

958p... No Corey Haim.  That's tragic.

1001p... The show is officially running long.  Anne Hathaway is in a deep blue silky looking gown.  She introduces Hillary Swank, who is a... gulp... two time (!) Academy Award winner!

1002p... Last year's Best Director, Kathyrn Bigalow, who won for "The Hurt Locker", is out to give away Best Director.   The Oscar goes to... Tom Hooper, for "The King's Speech".  This now seals Speech as Best Picture, if you ask me.  I picked Fincher for "The Social Network", so now I'm 11 wins, 10 losses.  Forget beating my all time record, I'll be lucky to finish above 500...

1005p... James looks like he's on drugs.  He brings out Annette Bening.  She tells us about The Governor's Awards, which is a Lifetime Achievement ceremony for legendary Hollywoodians.  Eli Wallach is one shown given an award, as is Frances Ford Coppola.  I personally like doing a special tribute to someone on the actual show itself, though they do bring out Eli, Frances and another honoree to the stage.  They get standing ovations, of course.

1011p... James and Anne introduce Jeff Bridges to give Best Actress.  The show is in full "We are behind!" mode, so things are speeding up.   He mentions Annette Bening's nomination... as much as I hated "The Kids are All Right", I think Julianne Moore was ten times better than Annette.  

1014p... I like how Jeff Bridges is talking to each nominee, not just saying their name and their movie, but discussing how good each of them were.   I'm sure the Oscars' producers are like "hurry it up, Jeff!" because he's taking forever, but its cool.

1016p... And the Oscar goes to... Princess Padme Amidala.  I picked Annette Bening to win, and I'm absolutely fine that she didn't.  I know, I know, "Black Swan" is sort of a gay ballet movie too, but its got to be better than "The Kids are All Right".   11-11

1018p... So, right in the middle of Natalie Portman's speech... not only does my internet go down, but my Dish Network goes down as well. 

1021p... Apparently, someone introduced Sandra Bullock during the outage, because here she is.  She mentions Javier Bardem, then turns to Jeff Bridges and says, "Dude, you already won this.  Let someone else win this for a change."  True Grit was a great film, by the way.  She tells Jesse Eisenberg in saying, "You've inspired lonely young men hunched over keyboards around the world." 

1025p... And the Oscar goes to... The President and Founding Member in Good Standing of The Colin Firth Club.  The Lovely Steph Leann cheers loudly, claps and waves her hands as Colin Firth accepts the Academy Award for Best Actor for his performance in "The King's Speech."   So I'm pretty confident I'll get the Best Picture win, making me 13-11 for the night.

1027p... Colin Firth gives a classy, eloquent, funny and well spoken acceptance.  The Lovely Steph Leann is giggling like a 4th grader.   Well done, Colin, well done.

1029p... The Best Motion Picture Oscar is up next, after these messages.

1032p... James and Anne shout, "Steven Spielberg!"  He comes out, and has in his hand an envelope that contains three words:  "The" "Kings" "Speech".  Ten best picture nominees.  While seeing Colin Firth do his King's Speech in the King's Speech, we see clips from all the Best Picture nominees. 

1034p... Who, besides K-Dub, would have ever expected to hear the words "Best Picture Nominee" and "Justin Timberlake" in the same sentence?   Said with a straight face?

1035p... "The King's Speech" takes the Oscar.  I finish the night 13-11, a horrible showing.  The Lovely Steph Leann cheers on the picture win.

So there is the Oscars.  James Franco and Anne Hathaway say goodnight... James seems like he was a little bothered by the whole hosting thing,  but Anne sounded like she was having the time of her life the entire show. 

We finish the show by having a kids choir sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and the Oscar winners for the night come out all together, making a pretty cool visual, many of them holding up their Oscars. 

And that's a wrap.  Thanks for reading, see you this week...

This Year's Oscar Winners

So, here are the winners in the 2011 Academy Awards.... as I go 24-0 tonight.  I think the most I've ever gotten correct was 20, so this year, we go undefeated!

The Minor Catagories

(not minor to the winners, obviously, but still...)

Film Editing

Nominees:  127 Hours... Black Swan... The Fighter... The King's Speech... The Social Network

I think this comes down to 127 Hours and The Social Network, but I tend to think its Facebook's night.  Winner:  The Social Network

Cinematography

Nominees:  Black Swan... Inception... The King's Speech... The Social Network... True Grit

Because Inception was so much computer work, I think this knocks it out of contention.  I think it comes to The Kings Speech and True Grit

Winner:  The Kings Speech

Art Direction

Nominees:  Alice in Wonderland... Harry Potter 7.1... Inception... The King's Speech... True Grit

Because I know little about this catagory, and for that matter, the two preceeding it here, its a crap shoot. 

Winner:  The King's Speech

Visual Effects

Nominees:  Alice In Wonderland... Harry Potter 7.1... Hereafter... Inception... Iron Man 2

Yes, Alice might give Inception a run for its money... but no.

Winner:  Inception

Sound Mixing

Nominees:  Inception... The King's Speech... Salt... The Social Network... True Grit

Again, I have to give this to the loudest film around...

Winner:  Inception

Sound Editing

Nominees:  Inception... Toy Story 3... TRON: Legacy... True Grit... Unstoppable

As much as I'd love to see the Denzel Train movie get an Academy award, I'm predicting a techno sweep for Chris Nolan's sci-fi instant classic

Winner:  Inception

Costume Design

Nominees:  Alice in Wonderland... I Am Love... The King's Speech... Tempest... True Grit

I don't know what the heck I Am Love and Tempest even are... yes, I know, Tempest is a Shakespeare play, but I only vaguely know of a new movie from it.  Really, I think it comes to Alice or Speech, though I wouldn't be surprised if True Grit picked this one up...

Winner:  True Grit

Makeup

Nominees:  Barney's Version... The Way Back... Wolfman

If its Rick Baker involved, and I think it is, then Wolfman easy

Winner:  Wolfman

Live Action Short Film

Nominees:  The Confession... The Crush... God of Love... Na Wewe... Wish 143

I have no clue.  I always pick one, then find out another's subject is something like "a story of a man who is fighting global warming along with the injustices of Bush's senseless war", and then wish I'd picked that one to win (which it always does).  So, who knows.

Winner:  God of Love

Animated Short Film

Nominees:  Day & Night... The Gruffalo... Let's Pollute... The Lost Thing... Madagascar, Carnet de Voyage

I want Day & Night to win this badly, because it was amazing.  This was the short airing before Toy Story 3, and it was not only good in 2D, it was brilliant in 3D.  But Let's Pollute sounds like a cautionary tail of how much we are ruining our planet, and by "we", I mean us Americans.

Winner:  Let's Pollute

Documentary Short

Nominees:  Killing in the Name... Poster Girl... Strangers No More... Sun Come Up... The Warriors of Qiugang

I'm torn between Killing in the Name and The Warriors of Qiugang... not that I know a single thing about either one of them, but they both sound just leftist enough that Hollywood would vote for them.

Winner:  Killing in the Name

THE MID-GRADE CATAGORIES

(ie, not as big as Picture and Actor, but bigger than editing and sound)

Documentary Feature

Nominees:  Exit Through the Gift Shop... Gasland... Inside Job... Restrepo... Waste Land

I wanted to go with "Exit Through the Gift Shop", because I have heard alot about this film, but that doesn't always translate into Oscar gold. 

Winner:  Restrepo

Original Score

Nominees:  127 Hours... How to Train Your Dragon... Inception... The King's Speech... The Social Network

As much as the music from Inception and Speech kept me captivated, and yeah, the Dragon music was cool, I think Trent Reznor picks up the win.

Winner:  The Social Network

Original Song

Nominees:  "If I Rise" from 127 Hours... "Coming Home"  from Country Strong... "I See the Light" from Tangled... "We Belong Together" from Toy Story 3

I think Randy Newman would love to add another Oscar to his collection with his Toy Story 3 song, but the problem is, most people don't remember that song.  With Toy Story, "Strange Things" and "You Got a Friend in Me" were instantly memorable, but this one, not so much.  Of course, I would love to see "I See the Light" pick this up, but I'm afraid the two Disney songs will cancel each other out, much like 2007, when the injustice of seeing both of "Enchanted"'s songs defeated by "Falling Slowly" from that random Keri Russell film. 

Winner:  "Coming Home" from Country Strong

Foreign Language Film

Nominees:  Biutiful (Mexico)... Dogtooth (Greece)... In a Better World (Denmark)... Incendies (Canada)... Outside the Law (Hors-la-Loi) (Algeria)

With all the hype surrounding Biutiful, I don't know how it doesn't pick this up.  Not that I know anything about it, but Javier Bardem being nominated for Best Actor tells me its on the radar.

Winner: Biutiful from Mexico

The Big Ones

(these are the ones everyone wants to see)

Best Animated Feature

Toy Story 3.   Doesn't matter who else is nominated.

Original Screenplay

Nominees:  Another Year... The Fighter... Inception... The Kids are Alright... The Kings Speech

You know, I don't really care who wins this, but it would warm my heart if The Kids are Alright was shut out completely.  Unfortunately, that won't happen.  Read on.

Winner:  The Kings Speech

Adapted Screenplay

Nominees:  127 Hours... The Social Network... Toy Story 3... True Grit... Winter's Bone

I'm going with the huge consensus here, a book that I hope that I can read soon

Winner:  The Social Network

Supporting Actress

Nominees:  Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with (The Fighter)... Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech)... Melissa Leo (The Fighter)... Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit)... Jacki Weaver (Animal Kingdom)

This is a three way race, and probably one of the most unpredictable races tonight.   Let's eliminate Jacki Weaver, she's a "its an honor to be nominated" nominee, and Helena Bonham Carter, because she was great, but she was a background character.  The thought is that Hailee Steinfeld might pull an upset if Melissa Leo and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, split their vote for The Fighter.  Truly, though, Hailee Steinfeld was amazing, especially for being like, 14.  And really, she should have been up for Best Actress because she was in most of True Grit, and she was brilliant in it, but in Supporting Actress, she has a shot.  However, my Hollywood girlfriend would be upset if I picked against her...

Winner:  Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with

Supporting Actor

Nominees:  Christian Bale (The Fighter)... John Hawkes (Winter's Bone)... Jeremy Renner (The Town)... Mark Ruffalo (The Kids are Alright)... Geoffrey Rush (The King's Speech)

Here's who might win... Mark Ruffalo, because he was pretty good in what is truly a big, fat gay movie that Hollywood loves.  Or, Geoffrey Rush, because he was so good in The King's Speech, in a flawless performance.  However, here's who should, and will, win...

Winner:  Christian Bale

Director

Nominees:  Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan)... David O. Russell (The Fighter)... Tom Hooper (The King's Speech)... David Fincher (The Social Network)... The Coen Brothers (True Grit)

Aronofsky and The Coen Brothers won't win this.  David O. Russell won't win this.  Tom Hooper is too new to win this.  That leaves...

Winner:  David Fincher for The Social Network

Best Actress

Nominees:  Annette Bening (The Kids are Alright)... Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole)... Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone)... Natalie Portman (Black Swan)... Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)

I cannot wait to see Blue Valentine, because the words I have heard about Michelle Williams are words like "devastating", "heartbreaking" and "crushing".  Not a happy movie, but I would tend to think she probably is the Best Actress this year, even having not seen it.  But, she won't win.  Neither will Kidman or Lawrence, for their movies that are so little seen.  This comes down to Natalie Portman and Annette Bening.  Portman might win it, as she's the odds on favorite, but she might run into one problem:  Annette Bening is one of those actresses that Hollywood feels like should have already won an Oscar.  So, no matter the performance of Portman, it might fall prey to both a "My bad" from the Oscar community, giving her more of a lifetime award than a "good job this movie" prize, and a "We need to give this year's gay movie something, so this gets two birds with one stone".  Personally, I thought The Kids are Alright was not alright, but if you are going to give this award to someone from that film, give it to Julianne Moore.  She was better, and yet, not even nominated.  Tragic.

Winner:  Annette Bening

Best Actor

Nominees:  Javier Bardem (Biutiful)... Jeff Bridges (True Grit)... Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)... Colin Firth (The King's Speech)... James Franco (127 Hours)

Count out Bardem, Bridges and Franco right now.  This is a two way race between Eisenberg and Firth, and I really think Colin Firth will win this.  The sentiment might be that Eisenberg is just getting going, and he'll have other times, but Firth is respected and has been around a long time... but this won't be a lifetime achievement award as with Annette Bening, this is for a stellar performance.  Plus, if Colin Firth loses this, The Lovely Steph Leann might be so angry she would throw a Wii-mote through the television.  Bad times.

Winner:  Colin Firth

Best Picture

Nominees:  127 Hours... Black Swan... The Fighter... Inception... The Kids are All Right... The King's Speech... The Social Network... Toy Story 3... True Grit... Winter's Bone

Let's cut this down fast.... the only movies that have a shot at this are Inception, The Kids are All Right, The Kings' Speech and The Social Network.   It would be a pretty big upset, though if either Kids or Inception took home the prize, so its Speech or Facebook.  The sentimental pick is Speech, because its an Oscar kind of movie... however, Social Network represents almost a "new era" of Hollywood, and could be ushering in the Oscars into modern times, something the Grammy's haven't figured out yet.  Anyway, I wouldn't be upset with either one winning, but I'm giving the nod to...

Winner:  The King's Speech

The King's Speech

This is one of the best movie posters I've
seen in a while

In "The King's Speech", there is no sex.  In "The King's Speech", there is no violence.  In "The King's Speech", no one gets shot, nothing blows up, nobody is playing anyone, nobody is stealing, no one gets murdered and nobody has a one night stand that leads to love later. 

In fact, in "The King's Speech", there are two scenes that keep this from being a PG movie and not an R... we'll get to that.

"The King's Speech" stars the president of The Colin Firth Club, Colin Firth himself, and is the story of The Duke of York, who eventually became King George VI in England.  Bertie is his real name, and he has an extraordinary problem... a severe stammer that leaves him unable to complete many sentences, let alone give speeches to the thousands that his family reigns over in the early part of the 20th century. 

Enter Lionel Logue, played by Geoffrey Rush, who is a dynamic speech therapist, though the movie doesn't use the cliched "the doctor who has unusual methods that end up working when nothing else conventional would do the job" trick... while Logue's tricks are a little weird, there is nothing to indicate how different he is from others of the same ilk.  Rather, the movie then begins to concentrate on the relationship between Bertie, a proud man who through no fault of his own is handed the crown of England, and Logue, who reluctantly takes on Bertie as a patient, though begins to see him not as someone with a stammer, but someone who has such great potential and is letting his hindrance effect his entire life.  (run on sentence, anyone?)

About twenty minutes into the movie, I leaned over to The Lovely Steph Leann and whispered, "Colin Firth is going to win an Oscar."  Why?  Because Colin Firth is brilliant, from every single lip twitch to the emotion it takes to play this role. 

Bertie's wife, Queen Elizabeth, is portrayed by Helena Bonham Carter, in one of her most subdued performances.  I'm sure that you, fair Coffee Drinker, that when you hear the words "Helena", "Bonham" and "Carter", you think the crazy queen in "Alice in Wonderland", or evil Bellatrix in "Harry Potter" or the nutjob in "Fight Club"... but here, she's very low key, very normal... very plain, which is exactly what she needs to be, as she is not the star, but one who supported Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush in making this movie what it is.

By the way, have you ever seen "Howard's End"?  Helena Bonham Carter is fantastic in this, and normal too, though if you are doing "Howard's End", I'd just go straight to "Remains of the Day"--HBC is not in it, but its a beautiful film, one that has nothing to do with "The King's Speech", other than the fact there are Brits in it.

Anyway, the movie leads up to an actual speech that Bertie, now the King of England, must give as Britain barrels towards war with Germany in the late 30s.  He and Lionel work together to try and pull off what will be the most important speech given in a generation in that country, and I don't want to ruin the climax of the movie. 

Now, the Rated R.  About halfway through the film, there's a 30 second sequence where Bertie, while struggling in therapy through reading, reels off several curse words, including the F-Bomb about 10 times in a row.  Closer to the end, when Bertie, aka King George VI is practicing the big speech, he throws in a few more F-Bombs to get through some parts... and that's it.   I wouldn't take a 7 year old Campbell Isaiah to see this film, but I would easily let a 12 year old Camp watch it. 

Well, in saying that, that's assuming that a 12 year old would want to see it... as we sat in the theater, I looked around and saw that the median age of the theater--a theater 3/4th full, by the way--was about 55.  I thought I saw a few teenagers looking bored at the beginning, but mostly it was full of PawPaw and MeMaws on a Saturday afternoon date. 

Back to the movie... you might also notice another few Harry Potter alums, one being Michael Gambon (Dumbledore... I miss Richard Harris... sigh) as King George V, and Timothy Spall (Peter Pettigrew, aka Wormtail) as Winston Churchill, a performance I wasn't sure about when I saw it, but as the movie wore on, I got into his role.   The only casting I didn't like was having Guy Pierce play Bertie's older brother, Edward, and I just didn't buy it.  Colin Firth not only looks much older than Guy Pierce in the movie, but in real life, he's actually 7 years older than Pierce.



Right now, Christian Bale is the front runner for the
Best Supporting Actor Oscar for "The Fighter".  And
I think he should win it... but if Geoffrey Rush won it
for "The King's Speech", I would not complain one bit.



That notwithstanding, at the end of the movie, I turned to The Lovely Steph Leann and did my customary, "What did you think?"  She just sat and stared at the screen, and said aloud, "I thought... I thought that movie was fabulous."  Fabulous is a word that is reserved only for The Lovely Steph Leann's I Ching of greatness... Fabulous is only used on things that are so far and away superior, its mind blowing... O'Carr's chicken salad fruit plate is Fabulous.  Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet" album is Fabulous.  Calah Ray is Fabulous.  And "The King's Speech", to The Lovely Steph Leann, is in fact, Fabulous. 

And I concur.  I posted via Facebook that the movie was "magnificent", and that's not a term you can use on "The Other Guys" (unless you are Hurricane Rhett).  The movie is paced well, its not flashy, it tells the story it wants to tell and doesn't continue on 20 minutes too long, and though the movie was made with the knowledge that it would probably win some awards, it doesn't feel pretentious or snobby. 

"The King's Speech" is one of those rare movies that entertains you, makes you feel great at the end, and leaves you with a feeling that you didn't just watch a movie, you experienced a movie.  Its almost a perfect movie, which is even more rare.

In a word, its Fabulous.

The 100 Coolest Things of 2009... 80 to 71

We continue our countdown of the Coolest Things of 2009... and looking at the next ten, this might be the "Guilty Pleasurest" block of ten in the five year history of The Coolest List.  Not all of them, but some.  Several.  And if you are on Facebook, flip on over to The Clouds and see the blog in its better glory. 

80... Kate Winslet Gets an Oscar
Beyond The Goddess, beyond Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, a founding member of my own Colin Firth Club that The Lovely Steph Leann keeps tucked away is none other than British actress Kate Winslet.  She'd been nominated six times for an Academy Award, but on Sunday, February 22nd, she finally got hers... in my running diary, I posted this:

1032p... KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!!!!! KATE WINSLET WINS AN OSCAR!!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!!

1035p... We knew Kate Winslet would win this, but that doesn't make it any less freakin' awesome. KATE KATE KATE!!!

Needless to say, I was excited.  Still am.

79... Pickler's New Album
For anyone who has read this blog longer than a few days, you'll realize a few things.  First, Mama Gilmore is much more attractive than Daughter Gilmore.  Secondly, Hootie & the Blowfish rocks.  Third, I love stupid movies.  Fourth, I eat lots of food.  Fifth, I believe the Dixie Chicks only deserved a small part of what they got.  Sixth, He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected is a one-term president.  Seventh, if back massages were on Facebook, I'd hit the "dislike" button.  Eighth, I will only watch "A Christmas Story" on Christmas Eve, and refuse to buy it.  Ninth, Erin the Marine Wife is to be commended.  Finally, I think Pickles is awesome. 
 
Her first CD, "Small Town Girl", was pretty good for a post-Idol debut, better than even Kat McPhee's decently good CD.  So, when Pickles second album came rollin' out, I went to Best Buy and I bought it.  Yeah, I might be the only person you know that owns a Pickles CD, but hey, I dig it.  Favorite track?  The great, soarin' vocals of "Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You".   I would post a pic of Pickles here, but 1) I'm running out of good pictures to post for Idol blog references, and 2) not enough room for the above picture of Kate and the below picture of...
 
78.. Jon Thompson

One of the four guys I took with me to Walt Disney World (that trip to be ranked later), this dude cracked me up the entire time.  Example... with five guys in a single room with two beds, I had to sleep next to someone.  One of the guys slept on the floor.  And Jon had to sleep with one of them.  The one that Jon had to sleep with decided he would just sleep naked.  Naturally, Jon had a real problem with this... so much so that he leapt out of bed, and started yelling things like, " Why would you do this?  Why!  Why can't you keep your shorts on?  What the crap, dude?"
 
And, being guys, we all turned it around on him--telling him things like, "Settle down, go to bed" and "Seriously, its not a big deal."  Personally, I totally agreed with Jon--who wants to sleep next to a naked guy?  The Lovely Steph Leann doesn't even want that, and I'm her hubby! 
 
He ended up sleeping next to his "bed-mate" who agreed to wear shorts.  Later, I discovered that said bed-mate actually de-shorted during the night and re-shorted before Jon woke up.  I think I laughed for quite a while as all this was going on.
 
He kept the riot going on the way back, marveling at the luck and blessed life of one Tyler Campbell, the bro-in-law, who won a randomly won a car and gave swimming lessons for like, $70 an hour.  Jon?  He worked at a screen printing shop that, after three years, "I'm somehow making less money than when I started!  While I'm on the other side of the tracks, Tyler is over there living in the bourgeois!'.  Course, bourgeois actually means "social middle class".  Who knew.  Jon rocks.
 
77... Hank Azaria in "Night at the Museum:  Battle of the Smithsonian"

Out of all the movies I saw in 2009, I would rank this one somewhere in the middle.  It was good, but it wasn't great.  It had its moments, but like my original review, "...with this movie, you know what you are going to get... lots of historical figures making pop culture references, lots of funny action and Ben Stiller doing what he does best."
 
This movie itself doesn't make our list, but one of the two standout performances does--first, Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with.  Secondly, and more importantly (for this movie, anyway), its Hank Azaria's absolutely hysterical performances.  He "not only plays Kahmunrah to the hilt, leaving you convinced that he had a blast playing this part, but he also does the voice of the Brooklyn-accented Thinker sculpture and of Abe Lincoln, fresh out of the Lincoln Memorial."   His Kahmunrah voice is especially great, slightly feminine and non-threatening, and he makes for the best part of the movie that doesn't include a redhead. 
 
76... The Muppets Do Queen
Kermit, Miss Piggy, Beaker, Dr. Bunson Honeydew and the gang are making a comeback...
 
\
 
...and its awesome
 
75... "Hey" by Mitchell Musso
Uh... a fun song.. makes me kinda bouncy and... uh... its... um...
 
74... "High School Musical"
Um... I saw the movie off and on... we, uh, at The Happiest Place in the Mall we played... and... I really like the them song and... well... uh...
 
73... "The Hoedown Throwdown" by Miley Cyrus
Uh... its... the movie was terrible but this... I like this song and uh...
 
Boom clap, boom de clap de clap, boom boom clap, boom de clap de clap, come on y'all, boom clap boom...
 
Everybody!  Boom de clap de clap...
 
Boom boom clap?  
 
Anyone?
 
(silence)
 
(crickets)
 
Let's move on, shall we?
 
72... ESPN's "30 for 30"
The concept is brilliant, really.  To celebrate ESPN's 30th Anniversary, they brought in 30 different directors and/or directing teams from all walks of life, all lifestyles, all film styles, to direct 30 different sports documentaries on subjects near and dear to their own hearts.
 
The results thus far have been golden.  First up was "King's Ransom", a mildly entertaining film about Gretsky's trade from the Oilers to the Kings, which I never knew was such a monumental, watershed moment for both Gretsky and the NHL... Peter Berg directed.
 
What followed was "Muhammed and Larry", chronicling the fourth bout between Ali and Homes, directed by Albert Maysles... "The Legend of Jimmy the Greek", about the slow rise and quick fall of a commentator legend, directed by Fritz Mitchell... "The Band That Wouldn't Die", an awesome look at the Baltimore Colts marching band that kept playing for over a dozen years after the Colts fled for Indy, directed by famed director Barry Levinson ("Diner", "Good Morning Vietnam", "Rain Man"). 
 
The only one I really didn't like as much was "The U", directed by Billy Corben, scanning the Miami Hurricanes teams of the 80s... it showed the teams, the successes, but didn't really spend too much time into the real issues of the team's problems.  Personally, I wished it would have talked about the crash of the program, not just the rise, but alas, I didn't direct it.
 

 
The two I loved, though?  "Without Bias", directed by Kirk Fraser, about the incredible impact that the death of Len Bias had on the Boston Celtics.  Two days after the NBA Draft, Bias dropped dead of a cocaine overdose, he not only altered our perception of casual drug use and became the tipping point of America's drug crisis in the mid-80s, but he practically ruined an already floundering franchise right as it was about to find a guy who they could build around. 
 
Secondly, "Small Potatoes: Who Really Killed the USFL?", directed by Mike Tollin which showed the success of the USFL, attempting spring football, leaving the NFL in the fall--and they were doing pretty good with it... but it took a dive, due to over-expansion, bad management, and one Donald Trump who bought into the league, and wanted to immediately move it to the fall, taking on the NFL head-to-head.  After a monoply & anti-trust lawsuit against the NFL, the verdict came back in favor of the USFL... in the form of a check for $3.76.  The USFL went belly up.  The documentary is made even better by the interview with Donald Trump, who ends up walking out on Mike Tollin.
 

 
Ahead are films on the legend of Steve Bartman... speedskater Johan Olav Koss... NASCAR driver Tim Richmond and the little disease that killed his career... and even one featuring Michael Jordan's suspension from the NBA for gambl... um, I mean, his retirement for two years to try out baseball.  Oh, and Ice Cube puts his touch on a film about the Raiders.  Good times.
 
71... Read the Rules, Shankapotomus
The Lovely Steph Leann prefers the one where the buddy "flexes the golden pipes", but personally, this is my favorite commercial of the year... 
 

 
Coming up... An Idol goes Kanye... The Best Greek Film of the Year... and later, noddin' my head like yeah, movin' my hips like yeah...

The '09 Academy Awards

1059p... Good night, folks. Coming Tuesday? The Top Twenty Coolest Things of 2008.

1055p... And thats a wrap. "Slumdog Millionaire" goes home with like, 8 Oscars. And to end the night, we see a cool preview of movies coming up this year... and we're all pumped. Rob Downey Jr in "Sherlock Holmes", and Denzel in "The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3" and Pixar's new film "Up!" and "Terminator Salvation" and an Amelia Earhardt biography and Tarantino's new one and Amy Adams in "Night at the Museum 2" and "Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince" and Tom Hank's hair in "Angels & Demons" and "Ice Age 13" and Eddie Murphy's new bomb... rock on.

1053p... "Slumdog Millionaire" completes the Oscar domination, whether it deserved it or not. The Lovely Steph Leann finishes her night with 63 points, Mikey with 49 and I get up to 28.

1048p... Steven Spielberg comes out to not only give away Best Picture, but to introduce a montage of clips from the nominees, intersparsed with clips from other Best Picture winners and nominees (and in the case of "Saving Private Ryan", movies that should have won--it lost to "Shakespear in Love")

1046p... Sean Penn then rails against the people, the majority mind you, who voted for the ban on gay marriage in California, then shows some love to Barack Obama. Then he shows particular love to Mickey Rourke specifically.

1042p... And the Oscar goes to... Sean Penn in "Milk". The Lovely Steph Leann goes to 58 points, leaving Mikey with 44 and myself with 23. "I want to make it very clear that I know how hard I make it to appreciate me," says Sean Penn, after calling the audience commie, homo lovin' sons of guns.

1036p... Here comes the Best Actor winners, with previous winners Robert DeNiro, Ben Kingsley, Michael Douglas, Anthony Hopkins and... Adrian Brody? All those legendary actors, and Adrian Brody? What was Al Pacino doing, making another crappy-end-of-his-career movie like "88 Minutes"?

Michael Douglas, one of my favorite actors, instroduces "Frost/Nixon". Robert DeNiro discusses Sean Penn, who actually smiles. I've seen him smile three times already--I don't know what got into him. Adrian Brody discusses Richard Jenkins, a character actor that you have seen in lots and lots of movies, yet you probably can't think of any of them, only to think "I've seen that guy somewhere!"

Anthony Hopkins talks about Brad Pitt, and that leaves Ben Kingsley to discuss Mickey Rourke.

1035p... We knew Kate Winslet would win this, but that doesn't make it any less freakin' awesome. KATE KATE KATE!!!!


Here is My Dear Kate's speech at the Golden Globes in January

1032p... KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!! KATE HAS AN OSCAR!!!!!! KATE WINSLET WINS AN OSCAR!!!! KATE!!! KATE!!! KATE!!!

1025p... Now its time for Best Actress, as they show previous winners. Presenting this year is Sophie Loren, Shirley MacLaine, Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard.

Shirley is speaking of Anne Hathaway, and it looks like Anne is about to cry. Marion is struggling to spit out English to My Dear Kate, who looks ravishing. Halle is introducing Melissa Leo, from some movie called "Frozen River", a movie that I'll never see, I'm sure. Sophie Loren, looking like a mummy, is discussing Meryl Streep, and Nicole Kidman is introducing Angelina Jolie.

1020p... She's here to give out the Best Director award, and of course, it goes to Danny Boyle, "Slumdog Millionaire". The Lovely Steph Leann approached fifty points with 48, Mikey has 39, I had 18.

1018p... Reese Witherspoon, a full member of The Ashley Judd Club, cause frankly, Reese is hot. Really, really hot.



1015p... Mikey and I were discussing Brad Pitt, and he asks me if I had seen the new trailer for Quentin Tarantino's new film, "Inglourious Basterds". Oh yes, I tell him, yes I have. And its glourious. Inglourious. Whatever...

I'd say this trailer is PG-13... the movie will most definately be Rated R. And Brad Pitt's accent rocks.


1011p... Queen Latifah, who had a great talk show that I do miss, but not as much as Ricki Lake, introduces the In Memoriam montage of people who have passed. She is singing "I'll Be Seeing You" as we see Bernie Mac, Ollie Johnston, Isaac Hayes (who gets a big applause), Ricardo Montalbon (another big applause), Van Johnson, Michael Crichton, Charlton Heston, directors Sydney Pollack and Anthony Minghella, character actor Pat Hingle and of course, Paul Newman at the end, who gets the biggest applause.

You kinda feel bad for people like Ned Taven, who no one claps for.

We were wondering if they are going to show Heath Ledger again... they showed him last year, as the Oscars in 2008 were right after he died.

1008p... I'm currently 6-14. If I were a college football team, I feel like Charlie Weis would be my coach.

1005p... Hugh Jackman is back, welcoming Liam Nieson and Frieda Pinto from... you guessed it, "Slumdog Millionaire", giving out the award for Best Ferrin Film. I went with "Waltzing with Bashir" because it was the only one I'd heard of. The winner is? "Departures" from Japan. None of us won it.

10p... Then all three sings all three songs together. Peter Gabriel is probably outside kicking small animals. Or Verne Troyer.

Zac and Alecia announces the nominees again. The winner is? "Jai Ho" from "Slumdog Millionaire." The Lovely Steph Leann runs to 43, Mikey to 34... and Yours Truly to 13.

Can I just say it... "Slumdog Millionaire" was a good film. But it is nowhere near as good as this. Not all these awards. Its supposed to be "inspiring" and "uplifting". I was neither "inspired" or "lifted up", I was just mildly entertained. Seriously.

956p... The Indian version of Jesse McCartney sings, "O Saya" from "Slumdog". Then, John Legend sings "Down to Earth". Then Indian Jesse McCartney teams with the Indian Britney, singing "Jai Ho".

950p... The montage of songs nominated for Best Score, done by the orchestra. Alecia Keyes and Zac Efron come out to announce the nominees. The winner is? A.R. Rahman for "Slumdog Millionaire".

The Lovely Steph Leann: 40
Mikey: 31
Yours Truly: 13

Best Song. Peter Gabriel, writer and singer of "Wall*E"'s song "Down to Earth" refused to perform the song at this year's ceremony because they cut all the songs down to a 1 minute version. He said that he didn't feel like it was a true sampling.

The nominees are 2 songs from "Slumdog Millionaire" sandwiching the "Wall*E" tune.

941p... Eddie Murphy (who is an Academy Award nominee, strangely enough) is out to do just that very thing... giving Jerry Lewis the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, something about some telethon he does. I kid, I kid, I know what "Jerry's Kids" is...

..and is it bad that even though its been on, every Labor Day, my entire life (since 1966, actually), I've not seen more than four minutes collectively of that entire thing? Jerry Lewis comes out, looking like he has lost some weight, looking very hunched and old.

He is in fact 83, will be 84 in March, and he looks like he's had a recent stroke, the way he moves and talks. Resembles Kirk Douglas when Kirk came out a few years ago.

938p... I had wings last night, and cheap chinese today for lunch... I'm waiting for the Jerry Lewis Humanitarian Award to be given out, so I can go to the restroom.

937p... Its kinda like NASCAR or the PGA tour or something... at some point, no matter whether
she wins or loses the rest, The Lovely Steph Leann now has an insurmountable lead. Now can she get the final six points to take the "most points ever"? Its very, very likely.

928p... Will Smith introduces Out-Stounding Sound Editing. I chose "The Dark Knight", as did the other two in the room. The winner is? "The Dark Knight". The Lovely Steph Leann goes to 35, Mikey has 28, I have 13.

Sound Mixing. Again, I got with "The Dark Knight". Again, I miss it. "Slumdog Millionaire" wins another Oscar, en route to the big ones. We all miss it.

Will Smith: "I am still here now. Hugh must be napping."

Film Editing. I went with "The Dark Knight", playing it safe again. The winner is... "Slumdog Millionaire" The Lovely Steph Leann goes to 37, Mikey stays at 28 and I still have 13.

923p... Here comes the Sound Awards, Mixing and Editing. I chose "The Dark Knight" for both of these. Here's a kickin' montage of 2008's action movies, with Ironman, Rambo, Bond, Hancock, Hulk, Indy, Batman, the Joker, Hellboy, Speed Racer, the Transporter and many others.

Will Smith rises from the stage (and hopefully from the crap that was "Seven Pounds") to do Visual Effects. I'm so far behind now, both Mikey and The Lovely Steph Leann stopped asking what I picked. Just as well. I went with "The Dark Knight", and "Ben Button" wins. The Lovely Steph Leann has 33, Mikey has 26 and I still have 11.

917p... Documentary Short Subject. I picked "The Witness-From the Balcony of Room 306". It looks like a Civil Rights film... but... the winner is "Smile Pinki". No one got it.

24 awards, 13 given out, and I've gotten 4 right. Sheesh.


Here's what Bill Maher thinks of you and your Jesus

913p... Bill Maher comes out for Best Documentary. Mikey and I both say, "Oh geez..." at the exact same time. I absolutely despise. He is a bigot, he is a racist, and he's a freakin' liberal snob who thinks anyone who believes in any God, especially Jesus, is ignorant and stupid. So there. And he even makes an anti-God joke while onstage.

I haven't seen any of the documentaries nominated, but whichever one is most Anti-American, or Anti-Military or Anti-Dubya... that's what will win. I picked "Trouble in the Water". The winner? "Man on a Wire". Sigh. The Lovely Steph Leann has 32, Mikey has 25, I have 11.

One of the winners balances the Oscar statue on his chin.

909p... They show in the audience, Kate Winslet, Adrian Brody, Mickey Rourke, Rob Downey Jr and several others, many of which have tears, look somber or are nodding in agreement. Except for Ben Kingsley, who is blinking like he's got something in his eye.

And seriously, dare Bill Condon and the orchestra strike up the band to cut them off? They probably could have talked for 20 minutes.

901p... Here's a montage for Best Supporting Actor, which is almost a shoo-in for Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight". Kevin Kline (winner for "A Fish Called Wanda"), Alan Arkin ("Little Miss Sunshine"), Christopher Walken ("The Deer Hunter"), Joel Grey ("Caberet") and Cuba Gooding Jr ("Jerry Maguire") all come out to present the nominees. Its cool that all of them are here, but especially Cuba--what else is he going to do? Absent is Javier Bardem, who won this last year for "No Country for Old Men."

Alan Arkin announces "Seymour Philip Hoffman". Ha! Cuba Gooding Jr announces Robert Downey Jr for "Tropic Thunder", with a "in blackface? Are you out of your mind?" Chris Walken is... well, Chris Walken. I almost expect him to offer some cham-pan-ya.



And the winner is? Heath Ledger. I'll be honest with ya... I've thought about this, and I think that Heath Ledger might have won this even if he hadn't died. He was brilliant in this film.

The Lovely Steph Leann now dominates with 31, Mikey has 24 and I finally break 10 with... 11. The Lovely Steph Leann's new goal is 42, which would tie Mikey's record score from last year.

853p... There's a musical montage now, with Beyonce and Hugh Jackman singing bits from random musicals. Not very entertaining. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens come out, somehow working in "High School Musical", along with Amanda Seyfriend and some guy from "Mamma Mia". Boooooooring.

842p... Keeping on the 2008 movie montages, here is the one on Comedy. It features Seth Rogan and James Franco watching the comedies from last year, and then they come onstage. Here's the Oscar for "Live Action Short", of which I went with "Manon on the Asphalt". This will ensure that it won't win.

The winner is...? "Spielzeugland (Toyland)". As soon as we saw the clip, and saw that it was a Holocaust short film, Mikey and I both groan. We knew this would win. The Lovely Steph Leann picked it, and chants, "Nazi movie! Nazi movie! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

The Lovely Steph Leann has 24, Mikey still has 20, I still have 7.

838p... Jessica Biel comes out to do the "Technical Award" montage. They always get supposedly pretty chicks to do these, as Jessica Alba came out last year for it.

831p... We continue on our movie journey as Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller come out together to give away Cinematography... and Ben Stiller is dressed as Joaquin Phoenix, with the ridiculous beard, sunglasses and staring off into space. I'm not sure if the joke is all that funny to the audience, but they are laughing all through this bit.

Ben Stiller/Joaquin is randomly walking around the stage. The winner is? "Slumdog Millionaire", giving the 3 points to The Lovely Steph Leann, with 23 points. The tie is broken, as Mikey stays at 20, and I stay at 7.

825p... Robert Pattinson from "Twilight" is here, with "Mamma Mia" star Amanda Seyfried to introduce 2008's Romance Montage. Both starred in movies I hated.

822p... And finally, SJP and James Bond are still here to give away the Academy Award for Makeup. I went, again, with "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", though at this point, I'm sorta rooting for "Hellboy II: The Golden Army". And the winner is? Me! One more point for my 7 total, while 20 for the leaders.

819p... Here comes Costume Design, as I went with "Benjamin Button" again. This time, Mikey and The Lovely Steph Leann went with "The Duchess", so can gain 2 points... and the winner is? "The Duchess". 19 points for the leaders, still 6 points for Yours Truly.

815p... The Oscars are being given out in the sequence of "doing a movie", with Screenplays first. Sarah Jessica Parker the Horse and Daniel Craig are out doing Art Direction, of which I listed "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" as the winner. And the winner is? Yay, I got it! And so did Mikey (17pts) and The Lovely Steph Leann (17pts). I have 6 points.

808p... They remain out to give the Animated Short Film, none of which I, Mikey, The Lovely Steph Leann, nor YOU, have ever seen. And the winner? "La Maison en Petits Cubes". None of us got that. The Japanese director actually says, in his acceptance speech, "Domo negato, Mr Roboto".

803p... Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black are out now to present the Best Animated Feature, which includes "Kung Fu Panda", "Bolt" and "Wall*E", which I went with the last. Actually, they aren't presenting... they are showing a 2008 "Movie Yearbook of Animation".

Says Jack Black, "I make more money doing animation than live action. I take all the money I make from Dreamworks, then bet it all on Pixar at the Academy Awards."

And the winner is... "Wall*E". Finally, I get one (4pts)! And so does Mikey (15pts) & The Lovely Steph Leann (15pts).


Best Animated Feature "Wall*E"

758p... And now for Best Adapted Screenplay... I went with "Frost/Nixon", with the theory that this will be the only Oscar this will take tonight. And I probably should have gone with "Slumdog". And the winner is? "Slumdog Millionaire" Mikey and The Lovely Steph Leann have 11 points. Yours Truly has 0.

If "Slumdog Millionaire wins Best Picture, the terrorists win.

754p... Tina Fey and Steve Martin are out, presenting the award for Best Original Screenplay... out the five movies, I've only heard of three, only seen one, that being "Wall*E". And the winner is... "Milk". Mikey and The Lovely Steph Leann now stand at 7 points, I still have zero, as I chose "Wall*E". Mikey makes a point... "The gays always win over cartoons!"

748p... And the winner is... Penelop Cruz for "Vicky Cristina Barcelona". Score 4 points for Mikey and The Lovely Steph Leann, and zero for Yours Truly. This will be a long, long time. This is a Woody Allen movie, which is why I'll probably never see it. I'm not sure I understand anything that Cruz is saying right now.

743p... So, five previous winners of Supporting Actress, and they are giving out the award this year for Supporting Actress... normally, the previous year's supporting actress gives out supporting actor, and vice versa, same for Best Actor and Best Actress, I'm only guessing that they do that to keep someone who might be nominated again for the same award giving out that award...

...but this year, instead of showing film clips, the five previous winners are actually talking about each nominee's performance. This is a fantastic twist this year.

740p... "Mickey Rourke, say whatever you like tonight... we have a 7 second delay, but if you win, we'll move to a 20 minute delay"

737p... And its really funny that he's cracking himself up, sometimes holding back a laugh while sing. He gets a standing ovation from the audience when he's done, and great laughter when he sits in Frank Langella's lap.

735p... Hugh Jackman is bringing down the house with this opening... I personally love it when they acknowledge the stars in the crowd and Hugh brings up Anne Hathaway on the stage to do a "Frost/Nixon" bit... Mikey, The Lovely Steph Leann and I are rolling here.

732p... Hugh Jackman, a member in good standing in The Lovely Steph Leann's Colin Firth Club, is hosting... and even though we didnt know how funny his opening monologue would be--he's hysterical. He quips about Kate Winslet playing a German in "The Reader", and Robert Downey Jr playing an Australian who plays a black guy in "Tropic Thunder", both nominted...

"I'm an Australian, who plays an Australian in a movie called 'Australia'... and I'm hosting."

730p... Okay, we do a scoring game here. Each catagory has a certain number of points assigned to it, with the lesser, shot-in-the-dark awards like Animated Short and Foriegn Film being 1 point, and the big ones, like picture, director and main acting awards, being 5 points. Mikey won last year, The Enchanting Nikki Brown the year before and others in years before.

And Mikey has won this award four times since we've been doing it for the last 9 years.

721p... I'll be that Penelope Cruz spends 30 minutes per day getting her unibrow under control

713p... They show Mickey Rourke (remember, we're on ABC now), and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I have to say, this is the best I've seen Mickey Rourke look in all these award shows and [they pan down and show the gaudy white pants and pointy cowboy boots]... and never mind."

705p... Frank Langella onscreen leads to this:
Mikey: He's been in some bad, bad movies
Yours Truly: Dude! He was Skeletor!

704p... Its Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, which leads to this exchange:
Mikey: I heard they broke up
Yours Truly: I had heard that he cheated on her
Mikey: I would
Yours Truly: Me too
The Lovely Steph Leann: Michael! David!

701p... Just turned it to ABC, where Robin Roberts and some other guy are doing a 30 minute Oscar special before the show, and who pops up but Kate Winslet... she looks better on E!

659p... Kate Winslet. Love 'er.



648p... After an unhealthy, ungodly amount of Zaxby's chicken, Zaxby's bread and Thin Mints, we're ready for this show to start. Mikey and I have already ogled at Kate Winslet (The Lovely Steph Leann: "Her hair looks awesome!") and made fun of Penelope Cruz' accent, then made fun of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and a few other things.

603p... We're watching the E! Academy Awards arrival show. Here's Michael Shannon, who might be the luckiest guy on the planet. He's looks like a gorilla, he's from nowhere, he's a nobody... and in "Bug", he made out with The Goddess, and in "Revolutionary Road", he made out with Kate Winslet. How does this even happen?

603p... Amy Adams. Hot. Freakin' hot.



6pm... Welcome! Its time for the 2009 Academy Awards! Mikey just showed up, bringing in Zaxby's chicken and lotsa sauce. We're picking our catagories and filling out our Oscar ballot... for the record, I'm picking wins for Kate Winslet, my favorite actress to win Best Actress for "The Reader", and Mickey Rourke for "The Wrestler".

I'm also picking "Slumdog Millionaire" to win the directing prize and the best picture award, even though I don't think it should win either. Personally, I think that Kate should win, and either Mickey or possibly Frank Langella should win for "Frost/Nixon"... I haven't seen "The Wrestler" or "Frost/Nixon" but I heard both are just incredibly.

If Mickey Rourke wins, we all win

Speaking of Mickey... if he wins, where does his acceptance speech fall in the "No One Knows What the *#&$ Will Happen" catagory? Like, it could be boring, or unforgettable for any number of reasons.