The Cars 2 Review

Its hard to know how I should feel about Pixar's latest, "Cars 2"... is it weird that an animated film can leave me so conflicted?

Here's the plot... "Cars 2" picks up where "Cars" left off... Lightning McQueen is off racing, winning multiple Piston Cups, and returns to Radiator Springs to his girlfriend Sally and his best buddy Mater, along with the rest of the gang from the first film, like Ramone, Flo, Red, Sarge, Fillmore and the others... wisely, Pixar chose not to replace Paul Newman as the voice of Doc Hudson, instead just giving the Hudson Hornet a glance and homage.

Finn and Mater... I've read the thoughts that Mater might be Pixar's
version of Jar Jar Binks... a much maligned characters that has somewhat
sullied a great movie series--or in Pixar's case, their movies in general

Through a wacky set of circumstances, McQueen ends up entered into the inaugural World Grand Prix, and brings along his "team", which includes Mater, and through an even wackier set of circumstances, Mater gets confused for an American spy by the good guys like Finn McMissile (Michael Caine) and Holley Shiftwell (Emily Mortimer) and the bad guys, like Professor Z (Thomas Kretschmann).

So over the next 90 minutes, we are treated to a visually colorful and dazzling adventure full of explosions and big ships and crazy cars and fast racing and cool gadgets and funny sight gags and foreign lands and all that kind of stuff. 

What we aren't treated to is a great movie.  Its a fun movie, its a pleasant, amusing movie, but not a great movie.  This will, in my mind, go down as Pixar's worst film, and though the general consensus is that Pixar can do no wrong, this one is hard to defend.  If anything, Pixar's record is 11-1, or at best, 11-0-1... which, in of itself is still a stellar mark.

Don't get me wrong... I liked this movie.  Its got that Pixar flair with the jokes flying fast and free, and sight gags everywhere--watch the drive-in movie sign in Radiator Springs not long after McQueen makes his return... and its fun watching the change of cultures from a car's perspective when they tour Japan (the Japanese game show is a hoot) and other countries.
 
And cars "die" in this movie!  I mean, I hope I'm not spoiling anything for you, but seriously, there are at least four or five car deaths in this film, which is a bit... well, I say violent, but we're talking about cars being blown up, so judge that how you will.

Its the story, the kind that Pixar usually excels at telling, that is the weakest part of the film.  I found myself wondering if a six year old kid could follow all that was happening, and even if those kids would understand why the bad guys--Gremlins, Pacers and other "lemons"--were the bad guys... I mean, what kid under 15 knows what a "lemon" is?  I also found myself ready for the movie to be over towards the end, something I'm not sure I've ever felt in a Pixar film. 

Here's my conflict... what am I supposed to expect out of Pixar? I have been taught to expect masterful story telling like "Wall*E"... I have been taught to expect movies for children that are still made for adults, like "Monsters Inc"... I now expect to have toys make me tear up, like in "Toy Story 3"... but do I expect that because Pixar told me "We are going to make the best animated films you have ever seen in your whole life!"

John Turturro voices Francesco Bernoulli, McQueen's main rival.  Having
worked at The Happiest Place in the Mall for a time, all I could think
was "Wow, are they going to release a billion new Cars toys for this"

No, I expect such things from Pixar because that's just what they do. But this time around, it seems like they are just having a good time... they aren't trying to win the Oscar for Best Animated Film (at least I hope not, because it won't happen this time), it seems like they are just having a good time. And out of any studio out there, Pixar deserves to have a good time, at least once, and do a movie that is just full of goofiness and silliness and fun.

A few years back, when the rumor that "Cars 2" was being made, The Disney Channel released a number of "shorts" starring Mater, called "Mater's Tall Tales".  They all centered around Mater telling his friends stories, or tales, about his misadventures, the "tall" part coming in because he's exaggerating... Mater told of his adventures as a stunt daredevil, and as a fire truck, and as a matador (Materdor!)... after "Cars 2" ended, I looked over at The Lovely Steph Leann and said, "This was like a very long episode of Mater's Tall Tales".

I know, I know, I seem so up and down about it... I guess I'll say this about "Cars 2".  Don't expect "Toy Story 3", or "The Incredibles" or even "Finding Nemo"... expect a fun movie, one that is kind of forgettable.  Expect your sons to love the crap out of it, expect your daughters to... well, did she like this first one?  She will probably like this one.  Did you like the first one?  Yeah, you'll probably enjoy this one as well.

Oh, finally, if you don't like Larry the Cable Guy, you will have a hard time with this one, because Larry is all up in this film, pretty much from start to finish. 

2D or 3D?  Go 2D.  The only reason to see this in 3D is to see the Pixar trailer for the 2012 movie "Brave", which you can find online, and the 3D trailer for the upcoming "The Lion King in 3D" release.  I still say go see it in 2D, save your money.


Formerly known as "The Bear & the Bow", Pixar introduces its first fairy tale, "Brave".  And it looks amazing.

Worth the price of admission, in 2D or 3D, is the Toy Story short, "Hawaiian Vacation", coming on before "Cars 2"... when Barbie & Ken miss their trip to the Hawaiian islands, Buzz, Woody and the gang step in to give them the de facto vacation of a lifetime... and if you liked this one, then you'll be happy to know that there will be another Toy Story short in front of "The Muppets", coming this Thanksgiving.

And, you heard it here first... Tom Hanks says "Toy Story 4" is in the works.  Not sure how I feel about that, but until "Cars 2", Pixar has never given me a reason to worry.  Truthfully, I'm not worried.

The Summer of Blogging Day Twenty Five 

Behold the new Poster and Trailer for Pixar's next flick Brave!

Here's the trailer:

-Thoughts?

The 100 Coolest Things of 2010... #50 to 41

And we continue with the longest running list, not counting The Dave100, on this blog site... that being the 100 Coolest Things of 2010.  I won't bother with the recap just yet, you can find it to the right under archives...

50... Harry Finds a Hallow
After what I considered to be a disaster, though one I can still bear to watch, of the last movie (the post I wrote, by the way, "A Letter to Steve Kloves" is one of the most read posts on this here bloggy site), my expectations for "Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part I" were lower... but still slightly high, nonetheless.

Here's what I wrote on November 30th, 2010:

First and foremost, it holds a huge, huge advantage over any of the previous six films, and that is simply that this movie covers only half the book. The reason "Goblet of Fire" and "Order of the Phoenix" cut out almost half of their respective books is simply a time factor... you would have a six hour movie to cover everything ("Goblet of Fire" skipped the S.P.E.W. subplot, and was one of the few things I enjoyed about the movie versions over the books).

Essentially, the film version, at least Part I, of "The Deathly Hallows", is a little like a table of contents. You see a live action snippet of each scene that is fully fleshed out in the book itself, something is allowable because the 140 minutes of the movie covers only about 300 pages, not 500 pages.

You can read the full post here, but it continues to talk about the movie, first spoiler free, and then second, spoiler filled (though there are several alerts to tell you to stop reading if you haven't seen it).  I finished the post by saying, "Anyway, I really enjoyed the film, and have intentions on seeing it again. I said before my favorite movie character is Luna, but my favorite book character is Ginny Weasley... but I'm not sure I dig Bonnie Wright. I also think Fenrir Greybeck is fantastic in the book, but in the movie he's so marginalized and relegated to a second tier character.  Go see the movie, irregardless of whether you've read the book."

49... Via Napoli


Don't let the angle fool you.  This pizza is a monster, and this is taken
after four adults had just about had their fill...



What can I tell you about Epcot's newest restaurant?  Its in Italy, its authentic Italian, and its delicious.  I've eaten there twice, and its got some of the best pizza I've ever had, not to mention some of the best desserts I've eaten in a while.

Their food is a little pricey, but let's face it, its Disney, and all prices are a little higher than normal.  They ph-balance the water to match that of water found in Italy, as well as authenticate other ingredients to give you the freshest, purest form of Italian food... and their large pizza, $40 as it may be, will feed at least six people, if not more.  Its pretty awesome. 

48... Christians Like Stuff
So, Jon Acuff writes this blog, aptly titled Stuff Christians Like about being a Christian, and he asks tough questions like, what to do with the Christian version of "Freebird", or the problem with unrated movies on DVD... he's the author of several books, including one named after his website, and its a great read pretty much every day. 

47... Little Sister Ashley Gets a Ring
What can I say... my own adopted little sister (I got the looks in the family) got a ring on her finger from her hometown sweetheart, Brandon.  Apparently, he'd pined for her for years and years and years, and she gave him the cold shoulder... but one day, she woke up and said, "Whaaaa...?  I... like this guy!  No!  I love this guy!"



At top, its Brandon and Lil
Sister Ashley.  The bottom pic
features The Honorable Rev'rn
Ty "Sharpton" Coffey and Lori
Anne, bride to be.

 She stopped by my store and flashed the ring, then I immediately commanded her to go to The Cabana and show The Lovely Steph Leann, which she did. 

And this past May, we were able to attend the wedding, which I'm sure you'll read about in The 100 Coolest Things of 2011... at this rate, some time around September 2013. 

Which leads me to...

46... Ty Gives a Ring
Here's another engagement that rocks, and gets the slight edge over Little Sister Ashley's big moment if only because I was involved in the proceedings...  The Honorable Rev'rn Ty Sharpton called me up and asked if I would participate in his little engagement get-together, which involved me taking the ring from him and setting it up in Samford's chapel. 

It was a little intimidating, holding a ring that cost more than Toni Rocki Honda, my little car at the time.  He asked me to not open it, not to look at it, he wanted Lori Anne to be the next one to see it, and I obliged.  I was to place it on the podium of the chapel at a certain time, then hide when Rev'rn Ty and his bride-to-be, Lori Anne, came in. 

While I was waiting for the word from Ty, people came in and out of the chapel--Samford had a football game going on in the stadium across the street at the same time--and I sat off to the side in a pew, probably looking like an old creeper.  I held the ring box tightly until I got the text that said, "In chapel yard".  I was nervous about letting the ring leave my sight, but I put it on the podium then slipped out a side door.

I walked around the student break area until I finally got a text that said "ITS DONE"... upon my return, there was a big smile from Revr'n Ty, and a bigger smile from little Lori Anne, and the ring almost blinded me.   And I was also able to not just attend, but be a part of their wedding, which you'll probably see in The 100 Coolest Things of 2011 as well.

45... B.o.B. Professes His Love
By the summer of 2010, there weren't a ton of songs that had really piqued my interest, especially in hip-hop areas... cause really, they all kind of sound alike.  So, here comes "Nothin On You" by B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars, with this profession of love for his boo, telling her that there are chicks all over the place, and that sure, they might be cute or he might say hello... but ain't none them ho's got nothin on you.  Nothing.

"Beautiful girls, all over the world, I could be chasin', but my time would be wasting, they got nothin on you baby (nuh nuh nuh nothin on you... nuh nuh nuh nothing on you)... they might say hi, I might say hey, but you shouldn't worry about what they say cause they got nothing on you, baby (nuh nuh nuh nothing on you... nuh nuh nuh nothing on you)... nothing on you baby..."

Keep in mind, this was the summer that both B.o.B. and Bruno Mars emerged, so I don't feel bad in telling you that for the longest time, I couldn't tell who was rapping and who was singing.  Perhaps I'm still not sure.

44... The Books Get Read
My love of audiobooks is well documented and deep, with probably 100 or more in my collection... I keep most of them, about 110 gbs worth, on an external portable hard drive, but on my iPod that I have with me about 97% of the waking hours of my day, I have at least 30 or 40 that I take with me, just in case I might want to jump into a random book, be it Kristen Chenoweth's biography (or Andre Agassi's) or maybe some Glenn Beck, or even a chick lit novel by Emily Giffen...

And then, I finally joined Audible dot com.  The way it works is, you pay one price per month and you are given "Credits".  Then, you can download audiobooks for a credit, or for larger audiobooks (like the Walt Disney biography I initially got, which was 35 hours--it was two credits, but I got it free for joining).  Every month, for $14.95, I get another credit...

Essentially, its buying an audiobook for $15 per month, but when you consider they are running anywhere from $25 to $50 per book, its a pretty good deal.  Also, for members, you get special discounts on books, sometimes half off, sometimes huge percentages off, sometimes free... I just downloaded "Go the Heck to Sleep" children's book (warning:  NOT Emmy Turnbow safe), narrated by Samuel L. Jackson, for no charge whatsoever...

And the selection is pretty great too.  I managed to get The Pixar Touch for less than $7, I got Patton Oswalt's comedic book for about $6 and downloaded "ESPN: Those Guys Have All the Fun" for May's selection for one single credit... regular price, $26. 

Randomly, just for thought, here's my current wish list, or, books I'll end up downloading or purchasing if they go cheap--in the order I'm going to get them:  "The Men Who Would Be King: An Almost Epic Tale of Moguls, Movies, and a Company Called Dreamworks" by Nicole LaPorte... "Decision Points" by Dubya... "Bossypants" by Tina Fey... "Without You: A Memoir of Love, Loss and the Musical Rent" by Anthony Rapp... "Your Only As Good As Your Next One: 100 Great Films, 100 Good Films and 100 Films For Which I Should Be Shot" by Michael Medavoy

And if you think this was just a reason to go all Ron Burgundy and say, "Hey everyone!  Come look at the cool stuff I've been reading!"... well, you may be right.  Though if anyone has thoughts on any of these books, then I'd love to hear them--besides the predictable recoil by Brad Latta, Atty at Law, at the mention of Glenn Beck or Dubya. 

43... A Dragon Gets Tamed
Here's what I wrote about "How To Train Your Dragon" on June 6th, 2010...

"How to Train Your Dragon" follows the story of Hiccup, who lives in a Viking village where the life of a Viking is to hung and kill dragons of every size--and they are aplenty in this movie. Hiccup is a loser that is made fun of by most of the clan, mostly because his heart is not into hunting anything, much less dragons, but to please his father--who happens to be village chief, no less--he does what he can.

Hiccup ends up taking down a rare Night Fury dragon, but upon finding it in the woods, cannot bring himself to finish him off... and there, the adventure takes flight, pun intended.

I loved it. I loved every single second of this movie. I loved the main character, Hiccup, I loved his love interest, a spry pixie named Astrid, I loved the dragons, including the main one nicknamed Toothless, I loved the setting, I loved the creativity, I loved the story... I thought this movie was brilliant. This was the first time I'd ever seen a non-Pixar animated movie and thought, "This should have been a Pixar film."

The Lovely Steph Leann loved it too. As the credits began to roll, she piped up and said, "Wow. DreamWorks finally got it right." (full review is found here)

By the way, I watched this movie a few days ago on cable... it is just as good, great even, as the first time I watched it.  And that is a true test of a good movie.

42... A Town Gets Covered
Wow this is a big book.  Perhaps Stephen King likes to release a 1000 page behemoth every year, or maybe I just tend to read one--in 2009, it was "It"... and in 2010, it was "Under the Dome".

In the fall of some year after 2012, Dale Barbara, known as "Barbie", is trying to leave the small town of Chester's Mill.  Before he can get very far, however, something odd happens.  An invisible, indestructible barrier--a dome, per se--is dropped over the town, keeping everyone who's out of town out of the town, and everyone who is in the town, in the town.

Big Jim Rennie, second selectman, takes over the town, appointing his corrupt friends and sick, twisted son Junior as town officials, and does his best to try and contain the opposition, which includes Barbie and newspaper editor Julia Shumway.   Slowly but surely, the town's government falls apart as Big Jim's rule becomes more and more stern, and as his ego--and paranoia of losing control--spiral out of control.

Efforts to destroy the Dome fail one after the other, and everything from civility to law to just common sense begins to fall apart, piece by piece, little by little... its not a slippery slope so much as a straight up and down cliff. 

While the Dome is the central key to the novel, it is what happens to the town that becomes the book's plot.  The breakdown in civilization, the loss of respect and democracy... that's the book's central storyline.  When Big Jim realizes that not everyone sees it his way, its then that he begins doing whatever, and I mean whatever, is necessary to ensure his own rule is followed. 

King stated in an interview that he thought of Dubya when he was writing the character of Big Jim, but honestly, all I could think of was He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected... who gives a rip how it affects anyone, this is what I think is best, so this is the way we are doing it. 

Anyway, its a huge book, but I'd rank it up there as one of King's modern classics, and one I'll probably read again in the next year or two (it stays on my iPod just in case...)

41... Z's Serves the Burgers
Sometimes the best food you can find is in a nondescript hole in the wall place you've passed by a thousand times but never noticed its existence... and that would be Chris Z's to a tee. 

Nestled on a corner near St. Vincent's hospital, sharing the same block, if not the same wall, with the empty building that used to be Golden Rule BBQ (take a left off of Red Mt Expressway/Hwy 31 as you are facing St. Vincents), it doesn't have very much parking, and in fact, the best way to get to it is to drive past it, turn left at the light and come around the entire structure.

Walking in, you can see immediately that its family owned and operated... covering the walls in almost every space are frames, frames with single pictures of family, frames with duo photos of more family, large frames with collages of a dozen or more pictures of family and friends.  Being my close friend Melanie's husband, you'll see pictures of Melanie and Chris together.  You'll see the Z kids, Jay Z, Special K and The Zack Attack.  You'll see lots of people that sort of look like their family, and you'll see friends that you might recognize... or not.  

The cafe itself is set with not more than a dozen tables, mostly because there is no room.  Come at lunch time, you'll be hard pressed to find an open chair, but if you are an experienced Chris Z eater, you'll know this and will plan for it--either come earlier or later, or get it to go, or just stand and eat like many patrons do.

The menu is typed out in a familiar Comic Sans font, with some scribble with a marker and some tape over certain things, those manual corrections that the owner doesn't have time to make in the form of a new menu... no, there is too much food to make.  And the food is aplenty.

Hot dogs cooked to perfection, topped with everything or nothing at all, your request.  And the cheeseburgers are fantastic... my personal favorite is a Chris Z burger with mayo, mustard and ketchup, and cheese splashed all over the fries.  The Chris Z burger was actually recently named by a local magazine to the be the best burger in town, and its a well deserved distinction.

And then there is dessert... a family owned recipe for cheesecake pie.  That piece of pie kinda deserves its own ranking among the coolest things of the year, almost like a #40 1/2 spot... its amazing.  I've had cheesecake in six different states, ranging everywhere from the Carnegie Deli in Manhattan to the Baltimore Harbor... and its the best cheesecake I've ever had.

Anyway, if you are in the St. Vincents area, and you find yourself hungry--or even if you just want to find something new, check 'em out.  They also serve breakfast, which is excellent too... and that's not to mention their Middle Eastern menu they have the first Friday of every month.  Its good, good stuff.  (you can click here for more info)

Coming up... Hide yo' kids!  Hide yo' wife!  Its more of the best of 2010, now that 2011 is half over!  Yeah!  More Disney!  A DFC Champion!  And startin' fires...

The Summer of Blogging, Day Twenty Two

The 2011 Oscar Running Diary

Well, let's get it on, shall we!  Its time for our annual running diary of the Academy Awards.  I'm here in the recliner, laptop open, keyboard in lap, while The Lovely Steph Leann is over on the couch, snuggled up in a Snuggie, ready to go. 

She has been out a bridal shower in East Podunk, Alabama, so when the sat down, the first thing she saw while watching the Red Carpet special was Robert Downey Jr, and the first thing she said was, "Oh no!  He's wearing a navy blue suit?  Really?  Robert!"

Its time.

732p... a quick recap of the best picture nominees with some of the classic lines from the last year... "If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook." 

732p... we open with a classic parody of nominated movies, this time involving Oscar hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway, with an appearance by Alec Baldwin, first intersparsing themselves in Inception, then with The Social Network and then The Fighter.  They appear on a horse in a clip of True Grit (James Franco tells Jeff Bridges, as Rooster Cogburn, "Hey, I loved you in TRON!").

735p... Morgan Freeman and his voice!  More Alec Baldwin!  And James and Anne are in the Back to the Future DeLorean!  This is a fun little opening...

739p... James and Anne, who looks AB-SO-LUTE-LEE GOR-GEE-US by the way, hit the stage.  She even tells James, "You look very appealing... to a younger demographic..."   They banter back and forth, even talking to Anne's mom, and James' mom and grandma, who smiles and says, "I... just saw... Marky Mark..." 

Its common knowledge that Mark Wahlberg hates the Marky Mark reference, but he seems to go along with it with a smile, if not a smirk.

Tonight, they are going to be looking back at some great Oscar winners from the last century, and they kick this off with Gone with the Wind.  The Lovely Steph Leann absolutely loves this movie, all seven hours of it.

742p... Tom Hanks comes out, and discusses Gone With the Wind's awards in 1939.  And he also discusses those films who have previously won Art Direction and Cinematography, and says the last movie to win these two, plus Best Picture, was my 9th favorite film of all time, Titanic. 

Art Direction prize goes to "Alice in Wonderland".  Crap.  I'm 0-1 already.  I tell The Lovely Steph Leann that I picked "The King's Speech" and she says, "Really?  Kings Speech?   Hmmm..."

746p... Tom Hanks now introduces Cinematography, and the Oscar goes to, "Inception".  And again, I picked "The King's Speech".  I'm 0-2.  The Lovely Steph Leann just laughs.  She didn't pick the winners, she is just laughing at me.

750p... Commercial break.  I say, "Well, those goes my attempt at going 24-0.  I'm Oh for 2 right now."  She laughs, hard. 

751p... James and Anne greet us after the break, and introduce Kirk Douglas, who comes out with a cane, and gets an immediate standing ovation.  I have been watching Kirk Douglas movies since I was like, 3 years old, no joke.  He's struggling to talk, with the effects of a few strokes.  He tells James Franco, "You look much better out of the cave... and Anne Hathaway... SHE'S GORGEOUS!!  Where were you when I was making pictures?!"

752p... Kirk Douglas is doing the Supporting Actress Award... usually, last year's Supporting Actor gives out this years Supporting Actress, and vice versa, and the same with Actor/Actress.  I am wondering if they are letting screen legends do the acting awards?  That would be cool.

754p... So, the guy is just standing there with the golden envelope, while Kirk Douglas ribs Colin Firth and Hugh Jackman in the audience, and he opens the envelope and holds the winner in his hands, and just keeps talking.   We are cracking up here.

757p... The Oscar goes to Melissa Leo for The Fighter.  Now its a race to see how many in a row I can lose.   Standing next to Melissa Leo, Kirk Douglas says, "You are much more beautiful than you looked in The Fighter".   She starts stammering, and The Lovely Steph Leann whispers, "Get it together, dear, you don't have much time..."  She manages to even drop the F-bomb...

Mila on tonight's Red Carpet

8p... Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake come out together, and Mila Kunis might be the hottest dressed one here tonight.  They are doing the Best Animated Feature, and Best Animated Short... finally, at least I'll get one right!   For Best Animated Short, the winner is The Lost Thing.  Yay, 0-4. 

805p... And here's the Biggest Lock of the Night.  Toy Story 3.  When Mila makes the nominee announcement for Toy Story 3, the audience gives a huge applause.  Toy Story 3 wins.  Finally, I get on the board... 1-4.

812p... Anne meets us from the break, and tells us about the very first Academy Awards in 1929, happening at The Roosevelt Hotel, across from the Oscars current location, the Kodak Theater.

813p... Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem comes out together, to give the Adapted and Original Screenplay awards.  They also are dressed almost exactly alike.  Not a great look.  My picks for Adapted are The Social Network and The Kings Speech for Original.

814p... And the Oscar goes to... Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network!  I got 2 right!   Aaron comes up and gives a pleasant speech, and its based on a book called "The Accidental Billionaires".  I've got 2 credits built up on Audible.com, think I'll use one of them on this.   The orchestra starts to play, but doesn't play him off, because he keeps talking.

816p... Now, its Original Screenplay, and I went with The King's Speech.  Josh and Javier, the White Tux Twins, gives the Oscar to The Kings Speech.  I lost four in a row, but have now won three straight!! 

818p... David Seidler, who wrote The King's Speech, is probably in his 70s, and starts his speech with, "My father always said... I'll be a late bloomer..."  The audience, and us, laugh heartily.   The gave Kirk Douglas as much time as he wanted, because he's Kirk Douglas, but now they are having to play catch-up by rushing winning speeches.

823p... Anne, still smoldering, even though she's in a tux, is back from break.   She begins singing a version of "On My Own" (for Les Mis) calling out Hugh Jackman for standing her up for a duet she was supposed to sing.   James Franco comes out in a pink dress, blond wig and horrible lipstick, saying, "You wore a tux, I wore this.  Weird part is, I just got a message from Charlie Sheen..."

825p... Russell Brand and Helen Mirren, the most attractive 93 year old on Earth, come out together now.  Helen speaks French, Russell incorrectly "translates".  They are here to give Best Movie By a Dang Fer-ah-ner.  The winner is "In a Better World".  There goes my winning streak, and I'm 3-5 for the night.  The chick director is doing her best English, though I'm wondering how long they will let her talk before you hear the music... and there it is...

829p... And Ashley Judd Club member Reese Witherspoon comes out, looking so classy and awesome.  And she's here for the Best Supporting Actor.   I'll take Reese over Mo'nique (last years Supporting Actress winner) any day of the week, and fourteen times on Sunday.  And Monday.  And Wednesday.

Unshaved Christian Bale and his wife

830p... Unshaven Christian Bale is not a pleasant sight. 

830p... And the Oscar goes to Unshaven Christian Bale.  And his hair doesn't match his beard.  We might be 2 for 2 on F-Bombs from The Fighter tonight!

831p... How weird is it to hear Christian Bale speak in his native British tongue?  No joke. 

834p... So Christian looks over and acknowledges his wife, then stammers without saying her name.  The Lovely Steph Leann thinks Bale got choked up, but I think that Christian Bale just forgot his wife's name.  Seriously?

837p... Okay, so he just got choked up.  He teared up when talking about his daughter, choked up when discussing his wife, and plugged Dicky's website (the guy the his character was based on)  Fine, it was a good speech.

Bathroom break needed for both of us.  Show is on pause via DVR.   We are about 4.5 minutes behind... we'll catch up at the commercial break

843p... Here comes... well, I don't recognize them, but does it matter?  I dunno.  Its a little speech recognizing the marriage between ABC and The Academy Awards.   Shameless self promotions.

844p... Anne is out again, looking like... well, that dress is awkward.  Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman come out to award the award for Score.  We get a Sound history lesson, and an orchestra appears to play some of the more memorable scores from film.   I went with "The Social Network" on this.

847p... The winner is... Trent Reznor for "The Social Network".  Who da thunk five years ago that Nine Inch Nails would win an Oscar?  I loved Inception's score more, but I can deal with "Network".  I'm 5-5 for the night!  I'm coming back!

849p... Here comes the award for Sound Mixing and Sound Editing, with me picking Inception for both.  Seems like they would go hand in hand.   Here comes the very attractive Scarlett Johansson and the not so attractive Matthew McConaughey to give the awards... the winner of Mixing?  Inception.  The winner of Editing?  Inception?  Ha!  Seven wins for me! 

852p... I think to over/under for Christopher Nolan being thanked tonight is somewhere around 4,300.

856p... Back from break, Anne and James are introducing Marisa Tomei.  James Franco has a squinting problem.

856p... Marisa Tomei is in my All Time Most Beautiful Actresses Like, Ever Hall of Fame.  I love love love love love love Marisa Tomei.  She's telling us the tech awards that aren't shown on this broadcast.   James Franco says, "Congrats, nerds!"

858p... Every time I think Cate Blanchett is beautiful, she shows up not being so.  Tonight?  She's beautiful.  She tells us about Lord of the Rings, winner of the makeup award.  For makeup, its Rick Baker who has like, 87 Oscars.  Make it 88, and I got an 8th win tonight.   Daddy's on a roll, baby cakes!

859p... The Lovely Steph Leann likes to pick and choose the catagories she wants to predict, and out of the three she has picked, she's 3-0.  Of course, she picked Toy Story 3, which was as big of a lock as any award in history.  Which means she picked Alice in Wonderland for Costume Design, and that means its going to win.

901p... And the Oscar goes to?  Not True Grit, my pick, now making me 8-6 on the night.  Its Alice.

902p... The chick who won is reading her speech.  When was the last time anyone actually read their speech?   She gets to the bottom of the page as the orchestra plays her offstage. 

903p... Favorite movie song?  Wow... "I've Had the Time Of My Life"... "Beauty and the Beast"... "How Do You Know" from Enchanted... "Against All Odds"... and He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected is onscreen, telling us "Time Goes By"?  What?  Random.

905p... Kevin Spacey is out to introduce the songs that are nominated... first is Randy Newman, who has his 20th nomination this year.  He's doing "We Belong Together" from Toy Story 3.  Next is Mandy Moore and Zach Levi to do "I See The Light" from Tangled... Zach Levi is a Christ Follower, by the way? 

907p... Mandy Moore is stunning, but Anne has her beat tonight.  (in fairness, Reese tops them both, Mila Kunis in that dress beats all three, and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, tops them all).  Zach Levi looks like a welfare Ben Affleck.  

909p... Commercial break!   Want to see an incredible Oscar song performance?  Click here.

911p... James Franco introduce Jake Gyllenhaal and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and the are out to award Documentary Short Film.   Jake says it best in saying, "Shorts are also the hardest things to pick on your Oscar ballot... so see the shorts, and you might be a winner."   The Lovely Steph Leann isn't picking this catagory, by the way.   I chose "Killing in the Name", and the winner is "Strangers No More".  I'm 8-7 so far. 

912p... And now Best Live Action Short Film.  My pick was "God of Love" and WOO-HOO!  I picked that one!  Yeah!  I'm back!

Luke Matheny and his fro in a pre-Oscar photo op

916p... Luke Matheny is giving the speech for the win, looks about 7 feet tall and has a fro the size of Red Robin.  Awesome.  He races through the thank-yous, including his mom, who did craft services for the film.  Awesome speech. 

917p... James and Anne are back, and there's a sight gag on movies that aren't musicals that they parody into musicals... including "Harry Potter", "Toy Story 3" and Timberlake on "The Social Network".  This little montage should win Best Editing.   The Twilight spot is called "He Doesn't Own a Shirt", featuring Taylor Lautner.  That was funny.

919p... The next presenter?  Oprah.  Who's network is really struggling, by the way.   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oprah looks like she's putting on weight", and I respond, "Doesn't she always?"

920p... Oprah is giving out The Best Documentary of the Year award.  No news on whether Algore has given back the one he won for An Inconvenient Truth, which turned out be A Big Fat Piece of Crap.   The Oscar goes to?  Inside Job.  I picked Restrepo.  Apparently, Inside Job is about the banking and housing collapse, so had I known that, I would have gone with it.  These are the same people who won for the anti-Iraqi doc "No End in Sight".  And the speech bascially starts out with, "Rich people suck."

926p... Anne is back, looking all awesome and good looking, and she introduces former Oscar host--someone who did it best for years--Billy Crystal.  He even gets a standing ovation.  "The producers asked me to tell you that we are running long... so here's the nominees for Best Picture..."

928p... Its a look back at the first televised Oscars, with Bob Hope hosting it 18 times.  Billy Crystal has been out for 30 seconds, and he's the funniest thing tonight not named Kirk Douglas.   So now, we take a look back at the 25th Annual Academy Awards, hosted by Bob Hope.  Bob says, "The Academy Awards, or as its known at my house, Passover."  Its a hologram of Bob on the real Oscar podium, introducing what else...

931p... Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law come out to do Visual Effects.  Token shot at RDJ's ho filled past by Jude Law, mildly funny banter, and to the nominees we go!  I went with Inception... and the winner is... Inception.  During the clip, they showed the hallway fight scene, and the big tunnel made to do that scene--you can't show that and then not give Inception the award.  Its a techie sweep!  And I get my 10th win!  And... I still have 8 losses.  Boo.

934p... Film Editing is the next award.  I chose The Social Network, and the winner is... Facebook!  11-8!

937p... S'Ray just texted me the following:  The dress that the escort taking people off stage was
designed by Borris Powell... my high school drum major from the little town of Piedmont, Alabama.

940p... I asked "Is he a fashionista now?" and he replies, "He was on the red carpet tonight and reported that Valentino loved his design."  So, there ya go.

940p... James and Anne are back... Anne is ravishing in red.  James makes some innuendo jokes on movie titles (Winter's Bone?) and they introduce Jennifer Hudson, who then introduces the final two songs nominated for Best Song.  First is "If I Rise" from "127 Hours". 

942p... I am now going to sing the first part of "If I Rise"... "fa la wa wa la wa wa... fla wa lo lo la la..."

943p... Here's Gwynth Paltrow to sing her song from "Country Strong", the one I picked to win the award.   And the winner is?  The one I didn't think would get it, Randy Newman's "We Belong Together" from Toy Story 3.  I'm 11-9 on the night, and The Lovely Steph Leann is irritated that the Tangled song didn't win.

948p... Twenty noms, only his 2nd win.  That's kinda wrong.

949p... The Lovely Steph Leann is still railing against Tangled's loss.

951p... Just saw on Facebook... Discussing the chick who sang the song from "127 Hours", Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone) says, "I want Florence from Florence and the Machine to go to Melissa Clark and get a new hairstyle.."

952p... Celine Dion brings us back from break, and its the In Memorium montage.  Celine Dion looks like she's 54, trying desperately to look 34.   So far, no applause for anyone yet, even though they showed Tony Curtis already. 

Corey Haim.  December 23, 1971 to
March 10th, 2010.  Rest in Peace, Lost
Boy, Rest in Peace.

953p... With no applause for Leslie Nielsen, I am now guessing they have the Applause-o-Meter turned off.  There's no way Leslie doesn't get a round of clapping.   Don't know who Susanna York is, but she had bad teeth.  Hope that didn't contribute to her death...

955p... My guess would be that Dennis Hopper and Blake Edwards would get the biggest round of applause for the night, but no clapping until the very end.  Out comes Halle Berry to tell us about Lena Horne, who died this past year.  She gets a good tribute, and we fade to commercial...

958p... No Corey Haim.  That's tragic.

1001p... The show is officially running long.  Anne Hathaway is in a deep blue silky looking gown.  She introduces Hillary Swank, who is a... gulp... two time (!) Academy Award winner!

1002p... Last year's Best Director, Kathyrn Bigalow, who won for "The Hurt Locker", is out to give away Best Director.   The Oscar goes to... Tom Hooper, for "The King's Speech".  This now seals Speech as Best Picture, if you ask me.  I picked Fincher for "The Social Network", so now I'm 11 wins, 10 losses.  Forget beating my all time record, I'll be lucky to finish above 500...

1005p... James looks like he's on drugs.  He brings out Annette Bening.  She tells us about The Governor's Awards, which is a Lifetime Achievement ceremony for legendary Hollywoodians.  Eli Wallach is one shown given an award, as is Frances Ford Coppola.  I personally like doing a special tribute to someone on the actual show itself, though they do bring out Eli, Frances and another honoree to the stage.  They get standing ovations, of course.

1011p... James and Anne introduce Jeff Bridges to give Best Actress.  The show is in full "We are behind!" mode, so things are speeding up.   He mentions Annette Bening's nomination... as much as I hated "The Kids are All Right", I think Julianne Moore was ten times better than Annette.  

1014p... I like how Jeff Bridges is talking to each nominee, not just saying their name and their movie, but discussing how good each of them were.   I'm sure the Oscars' producers are like "hurry it up, Jeff!" because he's taking forever, but its cool.

1016p... And the Oscar goes to... Princess Padme Amidala.  I picked Annette Bening to win, and I'm absolutely fine that she didn't.  I know, I know, "Black Swan" is sort of a gay ballet movie too, but its got to be better than "The Kids are All Right".   11-11

1018p... So, right in the middle of Natalie Portman's speech... not only does my internet go down, but my Dish Network goes down as well. 

1021p... Apparently, someone introduced Sandra Bullock during the outage, because here she is.  She mentions Javier Bardem, then turns to Jeff Bridges and says, "Dude, you already won this.  Let someone else win this for a change."  True Grit was a great film, by the way.  She tells Jesse Eisenberg in saying, "You've inspired lonely young men hunched over keyboards around the world." 

1025p... And the Oscar goes to... The President and Founding Member in Good Standing of The Colin Firth Club.  The Lovely Steph Leann cheers loudly, claps and waves her hands as Colin Firth accepts the Academy Award for Best Actor for his performance in "The King's Speech."   So I'm pretty confident I'll get the Best Picture win, making me 13-11 for the night.

1027p... Colin Firth gives a classy, eloquent, funny and well spoken acceptance.  The Lovely Steph Leann is giggling like a 4th grader.   Well done, Colin, well done.

1029p... The Best Motion Picture Oscar is up next, after these messages.

1032p... James and Anne shout, "Steven Spielberg!"  He comes out, and has in his hand an envelope that contains three words:  "The" "Kings" "Speech".  Ten best picture nominees.  While seeing Colin Firth do his King's Speech in the King's Speech, we see clips from all the Best Picture nominees. 

1034p... Who, besides K-Dub, would have ever expected to hear the words "Best Picture Nominee" and "Justin Timberlake" in the same sentence?   Said with a straight face?

1035p... "The King's Speech" takes the Oscar.  I finish the night 13-11, a horrible showing.  The Lovely Steph Leann cheers on the picture win.

So there is the Oscars.  James Franco and Anne Hathaway say goodnight... James seems like he was a little bothered by the whole hosting thing,  but Anne sounded like she was having the time of her life the entire show. 

We finish the show by having a kids choir sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and the Oscar winners for the night come out all together, making a pretty cool visual, many of them holding up their Oscars. 

And that's a wrap.  Thanks for reading, see you this week...

The 100 Coolest Things of 2010... #100 - 91

If you are reading this on Facebook, you may want to just click over to Clouds In My Coffee, since this post has a ton of videos and photos you might not see on FB...

It took a while to get going, but I knew I'd get there eventually... this blog started in 2005, and at the end of the year, I did The 100 Coolest Things of 2005, all in one single post.  Right after 2006 ended, I broke up the list into ten installments, then the next year, did 2007's list, onto 2008's list, then 2009's list, and now here we are, the sixth time I've looked upon the previous year and gave you what I believe to be my favorite things of 2010.

What means "cool", asks you?  Just simply, its cool.  Its fun.  Be it a song, a movie, a TV show... something I really liked.  Maybe its a place to eat, one that I visited over and over during the year.  And sometimes its a person or a couple or a group... someone who had an impact, someone that I just adore or cherish or love dearly.  And its things that I discovered in 2010... thusly, as much as we love Steven and Calah Ray, they won't make this list, because they were in the Top Ten Coolest Things of 2009... and though they continue to be cool, they make way for new things, people and stuff.  There is even a few books and movies that came out prior to 2010, but I discovered them (or in one case, "re"discovered them) and thusly, here they are.

Well, let's get going, shall we?   Without further ado, here are the 100 Coolest Things of 2010

100... Alabama Wins the National Title
Okay, okay... yes I rib the Tide Nation, because yes, they've won multiple titles, and whether they can legitimately claim 13 national titles (which I think is a stretch) or they actually won their 7th or 8th title (more likely, methinks), the fact remains, that in this modern day and age, winning a national title in college football is a huge, huge thing. 



And they did it by beating none other than the college powerhouse known as The University of Texas by a closer-than-the-score-indicates score of 37-21.  Their star QB, Colt McCoy, went down early... but I think they would have prevailed anyway.  Because the difference in a team like Texas, and Alabama, at least in the 2009 season, is that Texas has a star player--McCoy.  Alabama had Ingram... and Jones... and McElroy... and a host of others that, even in the loss of one, would keep the team going.   And lest we forget, the game was really, really good. 

99... Queen Latifah Gets Her Man
I'll be honest... like The Lovely Steph Leann, I like the movies I like.  That means simply, sometimes a stupid movie is something I find hilarious (see "Employee of the Month" or "Deuce Bigalo: Male Gigolo") and supposedly incredible films are snooze-inducing or terrible (see "The English Patient"... or better yet, don't).  And sometimes a lame movie is where I find the most enjoyment.

And that brings us to "Just Wright", starring Queen Latifah and rapper Common.  This was ridiculed in the press, its got a less than 50% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and let's face it, the movie was badly acted and poorly written.  And yet, I found myself enjoying the heck out of it. 

Here's part of what I wrote on June 10th, 2010:

Anyway, the final reason I liked this film is simply... its clean. Very, very little language (a few "damns" and I think one "bull****"), no violence at all, other than aggressive play on the basketball court, and as far as sexual situations, there's one single scene where you know Leslie and Scott did the deed, but its the next morning and they are lying in bed looking at each other, completely covered by sheets. I can deem this movie completely Emmy Turnbow Safe. Its a good first date movie.

By no means spend $20 on this film, unless you are in fact on a date. At best, catch a matinee, wait for the $1 theater, or get the DVD or watch it online this summer when it will probably come out. For now, The Lovely Steph Leann will be stocking up on Common CDs.

98... The Miz Claims the Title
Hey, I'm a wrasslin' fan, and I admit it.  I ain't scurred. 

And one of my favorites is The Miz.  If you can believe it, his real name is Michael Mizanin, and he was a cast member of MTV's The Real World: New York in 2001, and then the subsequent Real World/Road Rules Challenge. 

What's also interesting is watching the evolution of The Miz in the WWE... he started more of a joke, and looking like it was possible he'd never be more than a jobber or a C-lister.  But over the last year, in large part due to a huge push, but also due to his committment and ability, The Miz has hit the big time, and is one of the headliners now. 

And this year, he won the WWE Championship by cashing in his Money in the Bank Briefcase, beating a worn down and exhausted Randy Orton, right after Randy Orton has successfully defended the title against Wade Barrett of The Nexus, and after he won, he yelled out of one of my favorite catchphrases...

"I'M THE MIZ.... AAANNNDDD IIIIII'M AWESOOOOOMMMEEEE!!!!""

Hey, I'm a wrasslin' fan, and I admit it.  I ain't scurred.

97... Lotso Huggin' Bear Comes Home
The Lovely Steph Leann went out of town on business, which took her to the coast and ended up with her at a Disney Store.  And she came back with a random surprise.

How awesome is this?

96...  SMU Pays Their Players
To celebrate 30 years, ESPN has been showcasing what they call "30 for 30"... that would be 30 documentaries, each made by a different noted director, each with their own creative control, and each telling a sports story that sometimes is famous--and sometimes is not. 

To me, the "30 for 30" has been amazing over the last year, be it the controversial games from The U of Miami in the 80s or the "where were you when" aura of OJ's White Bronco... but in my mind, the best was saved for last.  "Pony Exce$$" tells the fabled story of Southern Methodist University Mustangs football which, back in the early 80s, was a national powerhouse, including posting a 45-5-1 record from 1980 to 84.

Hall of Famer Eric Dickerson and Craig James joined Charles Waggoner to form "The Pony Express", leading SMU to a share of the national title in 1981.  All was not on the up-n-up, however, in Mustang land, as it was revealed in 1986 that for a few years previous, players were being paid from an under the table slush fund, allegations that were put on SMU after they were already on probation.



The NCAA had the power to use "the death penalty", which means barring a school from fielding a football team for a determined amount of time.  They had never used it... until they used it on Southern Methodist.  It devastated the school and the community, and SMU essentially never recovered.  In fact, it took over 20 years for the school to reach a bowl game again--a win over Nevada in The Hawai'i Bowl--and it only had a single winning season in that span up until their bowl season.

Another fallout from the decision is the thought that the NCAA will likely never use "the death penalty" again on a school because of the catastrophic effects of the decision.

All of this can be learned in "Pony Exce$$", a fascinating documentary completely worth the two hours it takes to watch it.  Look it up, DVR it, and enjoy the step back into college football history.

95... Big Al Makes An Appearance
So The Lovely Steph Leann and I are at The Magic Kingdom late last year, and are enjoying the Magic Hours, that is, late night in the park.  We are walking past Liberty Square into Frontierland, and headed to Pirates over in Adventureland, so we take that little cut through to get back there, and also to use the restroom.

We go in our respective bathrooms, and being a boy, I naturally finish first--amazing how much time can be saved by standing.  Anyway, I got out first, and who did I immediately spot standing by a tree?   Big Al.

No, Roll Tiders, not that elephant from Tuscaloosa.  Its actually none other than my favorite Country Bear from the Jamboree of the same name.  And in all the trips I've ever been to Disney World, I've never, ever seen Big Al.  And in all the trips The Lovely Steph Leann has been to Disney World, which is about a half-dozen more than me, she has never seen Big Al. 

I race over and say, "Hey Big Al!"  He turns around, waves and gives me a hug.  I text The Lovely Steph Leann and say "GET OUT HERE".  I try and stall, and ask the friendly Cast Member if she will take my picture with Big Al.  Of course she agrees, so I get my picture taken.  Finally, I spot The Lovely Steph Leann emerging from The Lovely Ladies Room, and she's looking around for me.  I call out, "The Lovely Steph Leann!  Over here!"  She turns and sees me, does a "there you are" wave with her hands, and starts ambling over. 

"Hurry!" I yell at her, and she looks confused... and then she sees Big Al.  Her face brightens, she says, "Oh!  It's Big Al!"  She races over, and we both get our picture with Big Al.  He waves, we smile, the camera snaps and Big Al is on his way. 

And it left me with a memory that was one of the coolest things of the year.

94... Hurricane Rhett Falls in Love
I gotta be careful where I tread... "The Other Guys" is a funny movie.  It's not in my Top Ten of the Year, nor is it the funniest movie I saw in 2010.  Its not nearly the best movie I saw, nor is it a movie that I own.  But according to Hurricane Rhett, it doesn't get much funnier than Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg teaming up as mismatched cops (I know, new concept, right?!) trying to catch some bad guys.

Really, the plot is not all that important... what is important is that this movie has a literally a murder's row of people I love to see in a movie... The Rock, who I have a man crush on... Samuel L. Jackson... Michael Keaton... Rob Riggle... and an incredibly priceless cameo by Derek Jeter.

This was also the film that helped me figure out what it is about Will Ferrell that everyone enjoys... he makes everyone better.  He makes everyone funnier than he is.  I think back to "Anchorman", and though Ron Burghandy is funny, Brick Tamblin, Champ Kind and Brian Fantana are funnier, feeding off of Ferrell.  In "Old School", Frank the Tank is funny, but Bernard and the Frat guys are funnier.  And taking "Talladega Nights", yes, Ricky Bobby is great.  But Reese Bobby is better, Jean Girard is snarkier and Cal Naughton?  Cal is priceless.  Oh, and Assistant Susan is smokin' hot.  Just sayin.

And in "The Other Guys", Det. Allan Gamble is funny.  But feeding off of Ferrell, Det. Hoitz (Wahlberg) is funnier, as are Danson and Highsmith and Rob Riggle's Det. Martin is absolutely hysterical, as is Damon Wayans Jr's Det. Fosse...

What was my point again?  Well, whatever.  Anyway, The Lovely Steph Leann and I saw this movie with Hurrican Rhett and his wife Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone), and THAT is the best way to see a movie... with friends that like and laugh at the same kind of movie you do.  We probably would have enjoyed it well enough, but perhaps not as much as we did with the Barnetts in tow. 

So the 94th coolest thing of 2010 is not "The Other Guys", its watching "The Other Guys" with good friends.

93... Jamie Makes a Post
"Happy Harper Stories" is a blog that I check out about once a week or so, written by a young lady who goes to Valleydale Baptist Church (an sbc fellowship, natch), and its a fun little blog about the Christ-Following life, a Christian family and so on.   But one day, she decided to write a little blog called "Biblical Submission and Worship in the Bedroom", and it was excellent. 

I've shared this on the blog already, and linked to her blog while I posted by own on a very similar subject, which you can read it--"Sex Love God and Gifts"--by clicking here and can also read the first paragraph of her post. 

Just wanted to mention it again before it gets lost in her blog and in mine, like so many excellent posts do in blogs that are updated a few times a week. 

92... Amy Adams (whom I'm in love with) Goes to Ireland
To clear up a misconception, just because a movie has Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, in it does not make it a good movie.  Sometimes she can be in crap, just like anyone else.  I watched a movie called "The Last Run" starring Fred Savage, aka Kevin Arnold, and though it said "Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with" as one of the main credits, she was only featured minimally.  And, not that this has anything to do with her screen time or lack thereof, the movie was one of the worst films I've ever seen in my entire life.  I mean, bad.  Like, bad bad.  Not so bad its good, but so bad its bad bad.

To be real honest, "Psycho Beach Party" and "Cruel Intentions 2" weren't much better, and perhaps it was "Junebug" that gave her the chance to make better movie choices... either way, like any Hollywood star, even amongst tons of success, there are those "paycheck movies" (see, Cage, Nicolas, post-Leaving Las Vegas), and the movie at #92, "Leap Year", is probably in that catagory for Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with.

"Leap Year" simply tells the story of Anna Brady, a socialite who is itching to be hitching to her boyfriend Jeremy... when he has a "surprise for her", and it turns out to be something like earrings and not a ring-ring, Anna is sad.  When Jeremy goes to Ireland, Anna decides that she is going to find him, partaking of an old Irish tradition that states on a Leap Year day, February 29th, a woman may propose to a man.

But on her way to Dublin, she gets derailed in the Irish countryside by bad weather, she meets a guy she can't stand that agrees to take her to Dublin and... well, let's be honest, we aren't watching "Schindler's List" here, we all know where this is going... okay, to be fair, we knew where "Schindler's List" was going to, but thats not my point.  My point is, this isn't a movie you over-analyze.  I could tell you that Anna ends up dumping Jeremy for the Irish guy at the end, and I would not be spoiling this film for you, because you know this the moment the new guy takes the stage.

I must say, though, another star of this film besides Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and Matthew Goode is probably none other than the Irish Countryside.  The views are spectacular, the scenery is marvelous and the cameras always make sure you see a field blowing in the wind, or the cliffs with the water crashing against them, or so on and so forth.

Its a fun movie that you don't have to think about... you just let yourself have a good time with it, and if you are like me, just stare at Amy Adams when she's onscreen.  Cause she's beautiful.  And I'm in love with her.  

91... RDJ Wears the Suit (again)
There have been been few turnarounds in Hollywood that have been as huge, as monumental and as successful at the career of Robert Downey Junior.  He's gone from prison, drug use and a life spiraling into an overdose that was directing him onto a list with Heath Ledger or Brittany Murphy in the gone-too-soon department... into one amazing actor who is finally making some good choices.  Okay, okay, "The Soloist" notwithstanding... there's "Sherlock Holmes", there's "Due Date", there's "Tropic Thunder"... and of course, there's Iron Man.

And in 2010, there was Iron Man 2.  And I thought it was just splendid, if I do say so myself.   Here's what I wrote about it in June after seeing it:

...I was thrilled. The opening sequence, the introduction to The Stark Expo, Whiplash [Mickey Rourke] shows up and lashing his whips, bad accent and hair and all, Sam Rockwell being awesome like he always is, Iron Man fighting, and don't think I didn't notice the similarities between Stark's dad's plans for a futuristic community and Disney's old Epcot plan... in fact, there's a song over the ending credits called "Tomorrow Today", and it was written by the famed Sherman Brothers, the same guys who wrote "There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow" for the Carousel of Progress at Walt Disney World, amongest other great Disney classics.


Speaking of the ending credits, stay til the very end. Its worth it.

And there is our first ten...

Coming up... Bosses go undercover... Helen Mirren gets violent... and later, my night eating Lebenese...

Next:  The 90th to 81st Coolest Things of 2010

The 68th Annual Golden Globes

This is a week late, but I did want to post it finally... our computer was down until mid-week, and because American Idol came on, I never got it up.  So, here is the running diary of the Golden Globes...

So, this is being typed on a Word Document, while nibbling on some Papa John’s. The lovely Steph Leann is on the other couch, also nibbling on pizza, and we are set to watch the whateverth annual Golden Globes Awards… 68th, as Ricky Gervais just said!

7p… Ricky Gervais is out, and onto his monologue, which is usually all about the celebrities, with zingers and jabs tossed freely. First up, Charlie Sheen, of course. And now its onto “The Tourist”, insulting it, as Johnny Depp looks on from the audience. Next to “Sex in the City 2”, and then to gay Scientologists (I can only assume he is jabbing Tom Cruise and John Travolta)… yeah!

705p… The first award, presented by Scarlett Johansson!  I’m not a ScarJo loyalist, but she looks great tonight. The award is Supporting Actor in a Movie. Noms including Chrisitan Bale, Edward Garfield, Geoffrey Rush, Mike Douglas and someon else I didn't catch before the winner was announced.

The winner is? Christian Bale for “The Fighter”… this is the first award out of many he’s going to get from now until Oscar season, when he wins the Supporting Oscar actor. Its weird hearing him talking in his regular British accent, cause I’m so used to hearing him be deep and throaty Bruce Wayne, and loud and obnoxious in The Fighter. It also stars Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with.

709p… Here’s LL Cool J and Julie Bowen for lead actress in a TV Drama. And the winner? Katie Segal for “Sons of Anarchy”. Never seen the show, but I’ve heard its intense, awesome and manly. Camera cuts to Ed O’Neill who is clapping and smiling for Katie’s win. Very cool.

716p… And now here’s Julianne Moore and Kevin Spacey… Julianne has a horrible dress, and likely no bra. Shame. Best TV Movie/Mini-Series. The Pacific is nominated and I’m guessing its going to win.. though “Temple Grandin” is also nominated. Tough. And the winner? “Carlos” wins, whatever the heck that is.

While the Hispanic director is talking in the broken English, I’ll point out that every year, the person who helps present the awards is called “Miss Golden Globe”, and it’s a chick who is the daughter of a prominent actor or actress. This year’s Miss Golden Globe is Gia Mantegna, who is the daughter of actor Joe Mantegna… she looks a lot like him, but she’s beautiful, so go figure.

720p… Ricky is back up. There is confusion on stage, as the Mexican crew scatters, unsure where to go from there. Ricky then says, “you know this next actor from such films as…” and he goes on to name some horrendous films like “Hudson Hawk” and “Mercury Rising”… Ricky says, “And here is Ashton Kutcher’s dad, Bruce Willis!”

Bruce walks out with a smirk, introducing a film nominated for Best Comedy or Musical, that being “Red”… which was a fun, fun movie.

722p… From “Country Strong”, which is a movie I have no desire to see, here are two people that I don’t care about… Best Supporting Actor in a Series/Mini-Series/Movie. I’m rooting for Scott Caan, but I’m thinking the Extremely Gay Chris Colfer from Glee will get it.

And the winner is? The Extremely Gay Chris Colfer. And to me, its because he’s as gay as a football bat. The Lovely Steph Leann defends him, saying, “Well, maybe, but its also because he’s so awesome!”. No, its because he’s a flamer. Matter of fact, I’m surprised he’s not kissing a guy right now.  Lea Michelle is crying, which is actually kinda sweet.  Not as sweet at Chris Colfer, mind you, but still...

My prediction? You’ll hear some magazine, website or the like tell us that Chris Colfer’s win was important for the gay community.

Here is Michelle, circa 1989, from "The Fabulous Baker
Boys"... by the way, an absolutely fabulous drama.

729p… Michelle Pfieffer comes out… let me tell ya, back in the day, she was The Stuff. Back in the late 80s, early 90s, she was everything that Angelina Jolie is today, and more. Michelle was amazing. She still looks great. She’s introducing the next Best Comedy Movie nominee, “Alice in Wonderland”.

731p… Eva Longoria, sans Parker, almost fell. She usually looks great, but tonight she looks especially classy. Its like he was saying “Hey Tony… check this out. You had this. But you lost it. Sucka.” Tony, you’re a friggin’ idiot.

The president of The Hollywood Foreign Press comes out, and his name is Philip Berk. I immediately think of the obnoxious guy I knew in college named Philip Burke. He was a Lambda Chi Alpha, and I think student body president at one time. But this guy is not that Philip Burke—though that would be funny.

733p… Kevin Bacon and Milla Jovavich is giving the award for Best Drama Series. Actors from Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Dexter and House are nominated as usual, along with Steve Buscemi from “Boardwalk Empire”… and Steve wins. I thought that show was great… but it’s a little too much. Too much sex, too much violence, the language is horrible, and I just couldn’t get into it. But it’s a well done show, and its cool to see That Guy Hall of Famer Steve Buscemi get himself an award. He says, “Im going to talk fast, before that sad music comes on!”

737p… And here’s are the Best Drama nominees… Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, The Good Wife, Mad Men, The Walking Dead… and the winner? Boardwalk Empire. I do eventually want to see Dexter, The Good Wife and The Walking Dead, which are all on the list to watch on DVD. And I’ve got Mad Men coming on Netflix.

Can’t believe they are doing the Best Drama already! And Mark Wahlberg is on stage? He is in this show? What did I miss?

743p… Andrew Garfield, himself a nominee for “The Social Network”, is out to introduce… well, “The Social Network”… he stumbled over the teleprompter, eliciting a few laughs. By the way, “The Social Network”? One of the five best movies of last year, I gotta say.

745p… Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Lopez are out to present Original Song, after some horribly written banter that they awkwardly read from the teleprompter. Burlesque is nominated twice—I’ve been hearing that is a awful movie. The song from Tangled is nominated, but doesn’t win. “You Haven’t Seen The Last of Me” from Burlesque wins, and The Lovely Steph Leann is disappointed it wasn’t “See The Light” from "Tangled".

749p… And Alec and J-Lo comes back up to give out Original Score. Danny Elfman’s “Alice in Wonderland” is nominated, and I thought that music was brilliant. Inception is also nominated, and that movie’s music is fantastic. The winner? Trent Reznor for “The Social Network”, and I can’t complain, because it did set a great tone for that film. Nine Inch Nails now has a Golden Globe.

755p… The young chick from "True Grit" comes out—she was amazing in that film—and Justin Bieber—I’ll refrain from the jokes—comes out with her to give out the award for Best Animated Film. I’m guessing "Toy Story 3" will take this, but I’m fearful that “How to Train Your Dragon” will be the dark horse. I wouldn’t have a problem with "Tangled" winning this, but I don’t know how "Toy Story 3" can’t win.

And the winner? "Toy Story 3", in one of the least shocking wins of the whole night. The director comes up, and takes the award, and turns to Hallie Steinfeld and The Beebs and says, “Were you two even born when the first one came out?” to which they both just smirk at him.

759p… Ricky says, “I love this guy, star of 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang', 'Two Guys and Girl', 'Bowfinger'… I’m sorry, are these porn films?”  Then he makes the obligatory "RDJ spent time in prison" joke that always comes around when RDJ makes an appearance.

And of course, its Robert Downey Jr! He has gone from cool to jerk to cool again in his career. And he gives a hilarious monologue on the nominees about how, in his career, he’s gotten with everyone one of them… and when he gets to young Emma Stone, its fantastic. Award for Best Actress Comedy or Musical. I’m afraid Annette Bening or Julianne Moore will get it for The Kids are Alright, because that movie was horrific. Annette Bening gets it.

Chris Colfer is somewhere in the back shouting “Hooray For Gay!”

I haven't done a review yet, but "The
Fighter" was a great film.  Great story, great
acting, and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love
with.

809p… Sylvester Stallone comes out. Lets see how much we can understand. He’s here to introduce a film for Best Movie Drama, “The Fighter”, starring Golden Globe winner Christian Bale, Marky Mark sans Funky Bunch and Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with.

811p… Tilda Swinton comes out with Geoffrey Rush, and I gotta say, Tilda Swinton is one of the most unattractive chicks ever, with an eccentric fashion style. Eccentric means terrible. Heres the award for Best Actor in TV Movie/Mini-Series. Winner is Al Pacino for the Jack Kavorkian story, “You Don’t Know Jack”. Wanted to see it.  And Al talks.  And talks.  And talks.  Aaaand talks.

815p… My guess is the guy starting the Wrap Up Music is about to push the button, and someone who makes more than him says, “Dude! No! That’s AL PACINO! You don’t wrap up Al Pacino!” And they didn’t.

Up next, Actress for TV Movie/Mini-Series. Claire Danes wins for “Temple Grandin”, which she won the Emmy for as well. I’ve never seen the film, and really don’t expect to either—not that I don’t think its great, but it just doesn’t interest me—but its supposed to be an awesome film. Its right up The Lovely Steph Leann’s alley, so she can see it, and I’m sure she’ll tell me how great it is when she sees it on The Hallmark Channel or The Hallmark Movie Channel.

823p… Zac Efron is out now to introduce “The Kids are Alright” as a nominee for Best Comedy or Musical. I’m thinking this will win. Why? Because its gay.

825p… Ricky tells us that Tina Fey and Steve Carell are coming out, but not before dissing on Steve for leaving The Office after this season, “killing that cash cow for both of us!” The award is Best Screenplay. Tina: Here’s a movie that ruined our ability to interact with one another… Steve: I heard about that film on Facebook from a friend I’ve never met.

The winner? Aaron Sorkin for “The Social Network”. Its based on a book called “The Accidental Billionaires” by Ben Mezrich, who also wrote “Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six M.I.T. Students Who Took Vegas for Millions”, which was made into the Kevin Spacey movie called "21".  Book is good, "21" was okay. I plan on downloading The Accidental Billionaires next month as my Audible.com selection.

829p… Chris Helmsworth, the new Thor, and Chris Evans, the new Captain America, are giving out the award for Best Actress in a TV Series, Mini or Movie.   Their banter is terrible.  Why am I not a writer at one of these shows?   Take me, Scotty Latta and Hurricane Rhett, and I guarantee the jokes would be funnier than anything you've ever heard in your life.  Ever.

And the old lady they cut to when announcing Julia Stiles for “Dexter” was NOT Julia Stiles. The winner, though, is Jane Lynch for Glee… she also won an Emmy for this last September.  And Lea Michelle is crying.  That's... well, it is kinda sweet again, I guess.  Not as sweet at Chris Colfer, but still...

836p… Ricky introduces Olivia Wilde and Robert Pattinson, saying, “Here to present an award that no one in America cares about, the Best Foreign Film!” He’s right. Denmark’s “In a Better World” wins, and I really could care less.

838p… Out comes the most attractive 93 year old in America—no, not Betty White—it’s Helen Mirren! She’s out to announce the nomination of “The King’s Speech”, starring the president of The Colin Firth Club, that being Colin Firth himself…

Okay, so what is The Colin Firth Club? We’ve discussed this before, but I feel like we’re getting new readers all the time (wishful hoping?) so I thought I’d explain again… It’s a small group of actors and musicians that The Lovely Steph Leann finds herself a little hot for. Whilst I have my Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with, The Goddess, Reese Witherspoon, Kristen Chenoweth, Martina McBride, Lesley Mann and Kate Winslet, she has The Colin Firth Club.

The Lovely Steph Leann would never cheat on me. If Jake Gyllenhaal ever propositioned my wife, I am positive she’d say, “Yeah, thanks, I’m honored, but no. I gotz a man.” Then he’d say, “What yo’ man got to do with me?” and she’d say, “I ain’t try to hear that, see!” I’m Positive (K)!

However comma

If Colin Firth propositioned The Lovely Steph Leann, I’m pretty sure she’d say no. She’d hesitate. She’d probably give it a few seconds, and maybe flush and stammer, but ultimately she’d say no. Other guys that would elicit this reaction include Hugh Jackman, Bradley Whitford (in West Wing days, not so sure now), Patrick Dempsey, Hugh Grant and Jon Bon Jovi. Thus, The Colin Firth Club.

840p… Vanessa Williams and Blair Underwood, two extremely attractive people no matter the color, are here to announce the award for Best Actress in a TV Series. The winner is Laura Linney for The Big C… what can top gaydom? Cancer! If there was movie with a gay guy with cancer, its sweeping these awards.

846p… Here comes Jane Fonda! Screen legend! Have you ever seen any of her movies? She doesn’t have much on her resume. Yet, she’s a screen legend. And she’s here to show off “Burlesque”, a nominee for Best Comedy or Musical.

847p… Two people I don’t know are announcing Best Actor in Comedy or Musical Series… the winner is Jim Parsons from “The Big Bang Theory”, which is a show that I’ve never seen, but I’m hearing that this show is getting better and better as the years go on.

850p… Jeremy Irons is giving out the Best Supporting Actress in a Movie, and sounds almost like a Jeremy Irons imitation, though he’s actually him. Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with, is nominated for The Fighter, but it goes to the other chick in the film, Melissa Leo. And really, she kinda deserves it, because her part was great.

Just saw a McDonald’s commercial that features a guy coming through the drive thru, whispering his order, and continuing to lap the building without stopping. The somewhat attractive and seemingly smart young chick behind the drive thru mic is confused. He whispers into the speaker again as he drives by slowly. The young chick glances in the backseat as he rides by and sees a baby. The third time he rolls around and whispers, she whispers back his order, and its all sweet and cute and such. Do do do da doooo… I’m lovin’ it.



There are a number of falsehoods in this commercial.


First, I’m sure there are pretty people that work at McDonald’s, somewhere, somehow, so that’s not an issue. But the fact that she’s understandable is unrealistic.


Secondly, no one whispers in that drive thru. Right off the bat, you get a really clear voice that says in a perky voice, “Hi, would you like to try (insert whatever they are promoting at the time)!?” You think, “Ah, someone understandable!” and you say, “No thank you, but I would like to get (insert what nutritional combination you actually do want)".  A pause.  Then you get some chick who can barely talk intelligently, and has a tendancy to start speaking before she hits the drive thru mic button, and then turns the mic off before she's done talking... you hear "...getta number four and what you want to dr..." in a loud voice.

What happened to the pleasant voice you heard first??  Ah... it was a recording.  It was a a tease, thinking you'll have an understandable drive thru experience.  Then you realize... this ain't Starbucks.

So that commercial is full of crap.   

858p… Matt Damon is out to give the Cecil B. DeMille Award to Robert DeNiro… gotta tell ya, Robert DeNiro IS a screen legend. Who cares about Jane Fonda? DeNiro has done some incredible films, but has also done some real, real crap.

My favorite Bobby DeNiro films include “Midnight Run”, #56 on The Dave100… “Heat”, #87 on The Dave100… “Goodfellas”… “Casino”… “Untouchables”... and yeah, he was pretty funny in “Analyze This”. And no, I didn’t like “Analyze That”, or any other feature where the characters are named “Focker”.

Like all actors, he’s made some turkeys, including “The Fan”, “The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle”, “A Shark Tale” and “Showtime”. And I tried to watch “Ronin” three different times… couldn’t get into it. The car chase was spectacular, as its been hyped to be, but the movie couldn’t keep me interested after that.

Robert DeNiro is an actor that everyone loves, and there’s a huge ovation that lasts for several minutes. He quips that “I’m glad this award was announced two months ago, well before you had time to review ‘Little Fockers’” which gets an uncomfortable laugh from the audience. He also says that “Awakenings” was one of his favorites. Anyway, I’m glad it went to Bobby DeNiro instead of someone I'm barely aware of.

913p… Megan Fox comes out, and I’m still unimpressed. Someone is who is completely overrated and overhyped is fittingly announcing an overrated and overhyped film, “The Tourist”.

914p… Annette Bening comes out to give the Best Director Award. As I thought, David Fincher for “The Social Network” takes the prize. Its kinda of surprising, though, that such a mainstream film has been taking so many awards and such. Fincher is also the director of The Dave100 film “Se7en”, as well as “Benjamin Button” and “Fight Club”.

917p… Jimmy Fallon and the smoldering January Jones come out to give out the award for Best TV Series Music or Comedy, in another bit of awkward banter. And The Lovely Steph Leann squeals in delight as Glee picks up the award for Best TV Comedy/Musical Series. At least the show has Jayma Mays, who I kinda think is pretty… not tonight, but usually.

923p… And here’s Alicia Keys to tell us about “Black Swan.” I am not sure if I want to see this movie or not… part of me does, but part of me figures it will be like “Brokeback Mountain”, that is, I should see it because of all the nominations, but once Oscar time rolls around and passes us by, I can skip it.

925p… Halle Berry comes out to give the Best Actor in Comedy or Musical Award, to which Johnny Depp is nominated twice. Paul Giamatti gets the award for “Barney’s Version”, a film that I know soooo little about.

932p… Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who might be the coolest cat in any movie in 2010, is out to tell us about “Inception”, which to me was the best movie of 2010. I loved every single thing about this movie. The fight scene in the hallway with JGL was amazing.

933p… Jeff Bridges, who Hollywood loves like crazy right now, comes out to give out the Best Actress in a Drama Movie. Right before they announce Natalie Portman’s name, I say it out loud. And then Jeff Bridges says, “Natalie Portman, Black Swan.”

937p… Wow, we haven’t seen Ricky Gervais in like, an hour. He spends 45 seconds introducing Tom Hanks, then says, “the other guy is… Tim Allen…” Here’s the award for Best Comedy or Musical… and The Kids are Alright is probably going to win.



Julianne Moore and her offending dress

The winner is? The Kids are Alright. Yep. Its Award Day To Be Gay.
The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, “Her [Julianne Moore] dress is horrific! I cannot get over that!”

946p… Ricky comes out and introduced Sandra Bullock… with quite an intro. Funny stuff. Here is the award for Best Actor Movie Drama… The Lovely Steph Leann is rooting for her Colin Firth… and when he wins, she shouts “YEESS!!!!”, with her arm in the air.

So, I expect Colin Firth to win the Oscar, though a Jesse Eisenberg win for “The Social Network” wouldn’t shock me… though I’m guessing that Colin Firth will get the one award given to recognize The Kings Speech, so The Social Network can pick up everything else… and Jesse Eisenberg loses out.

953p… During the commercial break, I looked up at The Lovely Steph Leann and asked, “What’s left?” She thinks, and says, “Drama TV?” I replied, “Boardwalk Empire.” She says, “Wow, I guess that’s it then.”

954p… And cancer free Michael Douglas comes out for the Best Movie Award, and gets a standing ovation. He even says, “There has to be an easier way to get a standing ovation…”

The winner, en route to an Academy Award for Best Picture in February? “The Social Network”.

Gotta tell ya… though I hate that its taking away all the momentum that Inception was getting, if this wins the Oscar I won’t be bothered… it was a great film. It was an amazing film, from the acting to the story to the effects to the music… and its so much more than a movie about Facebook… its about friendship, its about loyalty, its about betrayal, its about business. Its great. I know that Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone) didn’t like it, but I’m hoping that she at least appreciated it.

So there’s your Golden Globes. Your Oscar nominations will be announced in a few weeks or so, and I’ll be right here, doing my annual running diary during the awards show!