The 68th Annual Golden Globes

This is a week late, but I did want to post it finally... our computer was down until mid-week, and because American Idol came on, I never got it up.  So, here is the running diary of the Golden Globes...

So, this is being typed on a Word Document, while nibbling on some Papa John’s. The lovely Steph Leann is on the other couch, also nibbling on pizza, and we are set to watch the whateverth annual Golden Globes Awards… 68th, as Ricky Gervais just said!

7p… Ricky Gervais is out, and onto his monologue, which is usually all about the celebrities, with zingers and jabs tossed freely. First up, Charlie Sheen, of course. And now its onto “The Tourist”, insulting it, as Johnny Depp looks on from the audience. Next to “Sex in the City 2”, and then to gay Scientologists (I can only assume he is jabbing Tom Cruise and John Travolta)… yeah!

705p… The first award, presented by Scarlett Johansson!  I’m not a ScarJo loyalist, but she looks great tonight. The award is Supporting Actor in a Movie. Noms including Chrisitan Bale, Edward Garfield, Geoffrey Rush, Mike Douglas and someon else I didn't catch before the winner was announced.

The winner is? Christian Bale for “The Fighter”… this is the first award out of many he’s going to get from now until Oscar season, when he wins the Supporting Oscar actor. Its weird hearing him talking in his regular British accent, cause I’m so used to hearing him be deep and throaty Bruce Wayne, and loud and obnoxious in The Fighter. It also stars Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with.

709p… Here’s LL Cool J and Julie Bowen for lead actress in a TV Drama. And the winner? Katie Segal for “Sons of Anarchy”. Never seen the show, but I’ve heard its intense, awesome and manly. Camera cuts to Ed O’Neill who is clapping and smiling for Katie’s win. Very cool.

716p… And now here’s Julianne Moore and Kevin Spacey… Julianne has a horrible dress, and likely no bra. Shame. Best TV Movie/Mini-Series. The Pacific is nominated and I’m guessing its going to win.. though “Temple Grandin” is also nominated. Tough. And the winner? “Carlos” wins, whatever the heck that is.

While the Hispanic director is talking in the broken English, I’ll point out that every year, the person who helps present the awards is called “Miss Golden Globe”, and it’s a chick who is the daughter of a prominent actor or actress. This year’s Miss Golden Globe is Gia Mantegna, who is the daughter of actor Joe Mantegna… she looks a lot like him, but she’s beautiful, so go figure.

720p… Ricky is back up. There is confusion on stage, as the Mexican crew scatters, unsure where to go from there. Ricky then says, “you know this next actor from such films as…” and he goes on to name some horrendous films like “Hudson Hawk” and “Mercury Rising”… Ricky says, “And here is Ashton Kutcher’s dad, Bruce Willis!”

Bruce walks out with a smirk, introducing a film nominated for Best Comedy or Musical, that being “Red”… which was a fun, fun movie.

722p… From “Country Strong”, which is a movie I have no desire to see, here are two people that I don’t care about… Best Supporting Actor in a Series/Mini-Series/Movie. I’m rooting for Scott Caan, but I’m thinking the Extremely Gay Chris Colfer from Glee will get it.

And the winner is? The Extremely Gay Chris Colfer. And to me, its because he’s as gay as a football bat. The Lovely Steph Leann defends him, saying, “Well, maybe, but its also because he’s so awesome!”. No, its because he’s a flamer. Matter of fact, I’m surprised he’s not kissing a guy right now.  Lea Michelle is crying, which is actually kinda sweet.  Not as sweet at Chris Colfer, mind you, but still...

My prediction? You’ll hear some magazine, website or the like tell us that Chris Colfer’s win was important for the gay community.

Here is Michelle, circa 1989, from "The Fabulous Baker
Boys"... by the way, an absolutely fabulous drama.

729p… Michelle Pfieffer comes out… let me tell ya, back in the day, she was The Stuff. Back in the late 80s, early 90s, she was everything that Angelina Jolie is today, and more. Michelle was amazing. She still looks great. She’s introducing the next Best Comedy Movie nominee, “Alice in Wonderland”.

731p… Eva Longoria, sans Parker, almost fell. She usually looks great, but tonight she looks especially classy. Its like he was saying “Hey Tony… check this out. You had this. But you lost it. Sucka.” Tony, you’re a friggin’ idiot.

The president of The Hollywood Foreign Press comes out, and his name is Philip Berk. I immediately think of the obnoxious guy I knew in college named Philip Burke. He was a Lambda Chi Alpha, and I think student body president at one time. But this guy is not that Philip Burke—though that would be funny.

733p… Kevin Bacon and Milla Jovavich is giving the award for Best Drama Series. Actors from Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Dexter and House are nominated as usual, along with Steve Buscemi from “Boardwalk Empire”… and Steve wins. I thought that show was great… but it’s a little too much. Too much sex, too much violence, the language is horrible, and I just couldn’t get into it. But it’s a well done show, and its cool to see That Guy Hall of Famer Steve Buscemi get himself an award. He says, “Im going to talk fast, before that sad music comes on!”

737p… And here’s are the Best Drama nominees… Boardwalk Empire, Dexter, The Good Wife, Mad Men, The Walking Dead… and the winner? Boardwalk Empire. I do eventually want to see Dexter, The Good Wife and The Walking Dead, which are all on the list to watch on DVD. And I’ve got Mad Men coming on Netflix.

Can’t believe they are doing the Best Drama already! And Mark Wahlberg is on stage? He is in this show? What did I miss?

743p… Andrew Garfield, himself a nominee for “The Social Network”, is out to introduce… well, “The Social Network”… he stumbled over the teleprompter, eliciting a few laughs. By the way, “The Social Network”? One of the five best movies of last year, I gotta say.

745p… Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Lopez are out to present Original Song, after some horribly written banter that they awkwardly read from the teleprompter. Burlesque is nominated twice—I’ve been hearing that is a awful movie. The song from Tangled is nominated, but doesn’t win. “You Haven’t Seen The Last of Me” from Burlesque wins, and The Lovely Steph Leann is disappointed it wasn’t “See The Light” from "Tangled".

749p… And Alec and J-Lo comes back up to give out Original Score. Danny Elfman’s “Alice in Wonderland” is nominated, and I thought that music was brilliant. Inception is also nominated, and that movie’s music is fantastic. The winner? Trent Reznor for “The Social Network”, and I can’t complain, because it did set a great tone for that film. Nine Inch Nails now has a Golden Globe.

755p… The young chick from "True Grit" comes out—she was amazing in that film—and Justin Bieber—I’ll refrain from the jokes—comes out with her to give out the award for Best Animated Film. I’m guessing "Toy Story 3" will take this, but I’m fearful that “How to Train Your Dragon” will be the dark horse. I wouldn’t have a problem with "Tangled" winning this, but I don’t know how "Toy Story 3" can’t win.

And the winner? "Toy Story 3", in one of the least shocking wins of the whole night. The director comes up, and takes the award, and turns to Hallie Steinfeld and The Beebs and says, “Were you two even born when the first one came out?” to which they both just smirk at him.

759p… Ricky says, “I love this guy, star of 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang', 'Two Guys and Girl', 'Bowfinger'… I’m sorry, are these porn films?”  Then he makes the obligatory "RDJ spent time in prison" joke that always comes around when RDJ makes an appearance.

And of course, its Robert Downey Jr! He has gone from cool to jerk to cool again in his career. And he gives a hilarious monologue on the nominees about how, in his career, he’s gotten with everyone one of them… and when he gets to young Emma Stone, its fantastic. Award for Best Actress Comedy or Musical. I’m afraid Annette Bening or Julianne Moore will get it for The Kids are Alright, because that movie was horrific. Annette Bening gets it.

Chris Colfer is somewhere in the back shouting “Hooray For Gay!”

I haven't done a review yet, but "The
Fighter" was a great film.  Great story, great
acting, and Amy Adams, whom I'm in love
with.

809p… Sylvester Stallone comes out. Lets see how much we can understand. He’s here to introduce a film for Best Movie Drama, “The Fighter”, starring Golden Globe winner Christian Bale, Marky Mark sans Funky Bunch and Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with.

811p… Tilda Swinton comes out with Geoffrey Rush, and I gotta say, Tilda Swinton is one of the most unattractive chicks ever, with an eccentric fashion style. Eccentric means terrible. Heres the award for Best Actor in TV Movie/Mini-Series. Winner is Al Pacino for the Jack Kavorkian story, “You Don’t Know Jack”. Wanted to see it.  And Al talks.  And talks.  And talks.  Aaaand talks.

815p… My guess is the guy starting the Wrap Up Music is about to push the button, and someone who makes more than him says, “Dude! No! That’s AL PACINO! You don’t wrap up Al Pacino!” And they didn’t.

Up next, Actress for TV Movie/Mini-Series. Claire Danes wins for “Temple Grandin”, which she won the Emmy for as well. I’ve never seen the film, and really don’t expect to either—not that I don’t think its great, but it just doesn’t interest me—but its supposed to be an awesome film. Its right up The Lovely Steph Leann’s alley, so she can see it, and I’m sure she’ll tell me how great it is when she sees it on The Hallmark Channel or The Hallmark Movie Channel.

823p… Zac Efron is out now to introduce “The Kids are Alright” as a nominee for Best Comedy or Musical. I’m thinking this will win. Why? Because its gay.

825p… Ricky tells us that Tina Fey and Steve Carell are coming out, but not before dissing on Steve for leaving The Office after this season, “killing that cash cow for both of us!” The award is Best Screenplay. Tina: Here’s a movie that ruined our ability to interact with one another… Steve: I heard about that film on Facebook from a friend I’ve never met.

The winner? Aaron Sorkin for “The Social Network”. Its based on a book called “The Accidental Billionaires” by Ben Mezrich, who also wrote “Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six M.I.T. Students Who Took Vegas for Millions”, which was made into the Kevin Spacey movie called "21".  Book is good, "21" was okay. I plan on downloading The Accidental Billionaires next month as my Audible.com selection.

829p… Chris Helmsworth, the new Thor, and Chris Evans, the new Captain America, are giving out the award for Best Actress in a TV Series, Mini or Movie.   Their banter is terrible.  Why am I not a writer at one of these shows?   Take me, Scotty Latta and Hurricane Rhett, and I guarantee the jokes would be funnier than anything you've ever heard in your life.  Ever.

And the old lady they cut to when announcing Julia Stiles for “Dexter” was NOT Julia Stiles. The winner, though, is Jane Lynch for Glee… she also won an Emmy for this last September.  And Lea Michelle is crying.  That's... well, it is kinda sweet again, I guess.  Not as sweet at Chris Colfer, but still...

836p… Ricky introduces Olivia Wilde and Robert Pattinson, saying, “Here to present an award that no one in America cares about, the Best Foreign Film!” He’s right. Denmark’s “In a Better World” wins, and I really could care less.

838p… Out comes the most attractive 93 year old in America—no, not Betty White—it’s Helen Mirren! She’s out to announce the nomination of “The King’s Speech”, starring the president of The Colin Firth Club, that being Colin Firth himself…

Okay, so what is The Colin Firth Club? We’ve discussed this before, but I feel like we’re getting new readers all the time (wishful hoping?) so I thought I’d explain again… It’s a small group of actors and musicians that The Lovely Steph Leann finds herself a little hot for. Whilst I have my Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with, The Goddess, Reese Witherspoon, Kristen Chenoweth, Martina McBride, Lesley Mann and Kate Winslet, she has The Colin Firth Club.

The Lovely Steph Leann would never cheat on me. If Jake Gyllenhaal ever propositioned my wife, I am positive she’d say, “Yeah, thanks, I’m honored, but no. I gotz a man.” Then he’d say, “What yo’ man got to do with me?” and she’d say, “I ain’t try to hear that, see!” I’m Positive (K)!

However comma

If Colin Firth propositioned The Lovely Steph Leann, I’m pretty sure she’d say no. She’d hesitate. She’d probably give it a few seconds, and maybe flush and stammer, but ultimately she’d say no. Other guys that would elicit this reaction include Hugh Jackman, Bradley Whitford (in West Wing days, not so sure now), Patrick Dempsey, Hugh Grant and Jon Bon Jovi. Thus, The Colin Firth Club.

840p… Vanessa Williams and Blair Underwood, two extremely attractive people no matter the color, are here to announce the award for Best Actress in a TV Series. The winner is Laura Linney for The Big C… what can top gaydom? Cancer! If there was movie with a gay guy with cancer, its sweeping these awards.

846p… Here comes Jane Fonda! Screen legend! Have you ever seen any of her movies? She doesn’t have much on her resume. Yet, she’s a screen legend. And she’s here to show off “Burlesque”, a nominee for Best Comedy or Musical.

847p… Two people I don’t know are announcing Best Actor in Comedy or Musical Series… the winner is Jim Parsons from “The Big Bang Theory”, which is a show that I’ve never seen, but I’m hearing that this show is getting better and better as the years go on.

850p… Jeremy Irons is giving out the Best Supporting Actress in a Movie, and sounds almost like a Jeremy Irons imitation, though he’s actually him. Amy Adams, whom I’m in love with, is nominated for The Fighter, but it goes to the other chick in the film, Melissa Leo. And really, she kinda deserves it, because her part was great.

Just saw a McDonald’s commercial that features a guy coming through the drive thru, whispering his order, and continuing to lap the building without stopping. The somewhat attractive and seemingly smart young chick behind the drive thru mic is confused. He whispers into the speaker again as he drives by slowly. The young chick glances in the backseat as he rides by and sees a baby. The third time he rolls around and whispers, she whispers back his order, and its all sweet and cute and such. Do do do da doooo… I’m lovin’ it.



There are a number of falsehoods in this commercial.


First, I’m sure there are pretty people that work at McDonald’s, somewhere, somehow, so that’s not an issue. But the fact that she’s understandable is unrealistic.


Secondly, no one whispers in that drive thru. Right off the bat, you get a really clear voice that says in a perky voice, “Hi, would you like to try (insert whatever they are promoting at the time)!?” You think, “Ah, someone understandable!” and you say, “No thank you, but I would like to get (insert what nutritional combination you actually do want)".  A pause.  Then you get some chick who can barely talk intelligently, and has a tendancy to start speaking before she hits the drive thru mic button, and then turns the mic off before she's done talking... you hear "...getta number four and what you want to dr..." in a loud voice.

What happened to the pleasant voice you heard first??  Ah... it was a recording.  It was a a tease, thinking you'll have an understandable drive thru experience.  Then you realize... this ain't Starbucks.

So that commercial is full of crap.   

858p… Matt Damon is out to give the Cecil B. DeMille Award to Robert DeNiro… gotta tell ya, Robert DeNiro IS a screen legend. Who cares about Jane Fonda? DeNiro has done some incredible films, but has also done some real, real crap.

My favorite Bobby DeNiro films include “Midnight Run”, #56 on The Dave100… “Heat”, #87 on The Dave100… “Goodfellas”… “Casino”… “Untouchables”... and yeah, he was pretty funny in “Analyze This”. And no, I didn’t like “Analyze That”, or any other feature where the characters are named “Focker”.

Like all actors, he’s made some turkeys, including “The Fan”, “The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle”, “A Shark Tale” and “Showtime”. And I tried to watch “Ronin” three different times… couldn’t get into it. The car chase was spectacular, as its been hyped to be, but the movie couldn’t keep me interested after that.

Robert DeNiro is an actor that everyone loves, and there’s a huge ovation that lasts for several minutes. He quips that “I’m glad this award was announced two months ago, well before you had time to review ‘Little Fockers’” which gets an uncomfortable laugh from the audience. He also says that “Awakenings” was one of his favorites. Anyway, I’m glad it went to Bobby DeNiro instead of someone I'm barely aware of.

913p… Megan Fox comes out, and I’m still unimpressed. Someone is who is completely overrated and overhyped is fittingly announcing an overrated and overhyped film, “The Tourist”.

914p… Annette Bening comes out to give the Best Director Award. As I thought, David Fincher for “The Social Network” takes the prize. Its kinda of surprising, though, that such a mainstream film has been taking so many awards and such. Fincher is also the director of The Dave100 film “Se7en”, as well as “Benjamin Button” and “Fight Club”.

917p… Jimmy Fallon and the smoldering January Jones come out to give out the award for Best TV Series Music or Comedy, in another bit of awkward banter. And The Lovely Steph Leann squeals in delight as Glee picks up the award for Best TV Comedy/Musical Series. At least the show has Jayma Mays, who I kinda think is pretty… not tonight, but usually.

923p… And here’s Alicia Keys to tell us about “Black Swan.” I am not sure if I want to see this movie or not… part of me does, but part of me figures it will be like “Brokeback Mountain”, that is, I should see it because of all the nominations, but once Oscar time rolls around and passes us by, I can skip it.

925p… Halle Berry comes out to give the Best Actor in Comedy or Musical Award, to which Johnny Depp is nominated twice. Paul Giamatti gets the award for “Barney’s Version”, a film that I know soooo little about.

932p… Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who might be the coolest cat in any movie in 2010, is out to tell us about “Inception”, which to me was the best movie of 2010. I loved every single thing about this movie. The fight scene in the hallway with JGL was amazing.

933p… Jeff Bridges, who Hollywood loves like crazy right now, comes out to give out the Best Actress in a Drama Movie. Right before they announce Natalie Portman’s name, I say it out loud. And then Jeff Bridges says, “Natalie Portman, Black Swan.”

937p… Wow, we haven’t seen Ricky Gervais in like, an hour. He spends 45 seconds introducing Tom Hanks, then says, “the other guy is… Tim Allen…” Here’s the award for Best Comedy or Musical… and The Kids are Alright is probably going to win.



Julianne Moore and her offending dress

The winner is? The Kids are Alright. Yep. Its Award Day To Be Gay.
The Lovely Steph Leann pipes up, “Her [Julianne Moore] dress is horrific! I cannot get over that!”

946p… Ricky comes out and introduced Sandra Bullock… with quite an intro. Funny stuff. Here is the award for Best Actor Movie Drama… The Lovely Steph Leann is rooting for her Colin Firth… and when he wins, she shouts “YEESS!!!!”, with her arm in the air.

So, I expect Colin Firth to win the Oscar, though a Jesse Eisenberg win for “The Social Network” wouldn’t shock me… though I’m guessing that Colin Firth will get the one award given to recognize The Kings Speech, so The Social Network can pick up everything else… and Jesse Eisenberg loses out.

953p… During the commercial break, I looked up at The Lovely Steph Leann and asked, “What’s left?” She thinks, and says, “Drama TV?” I replied, “Boardwalk Empire.” She says, “Wow, I guess that’s it then.”

954p… And cancer free Michael Douglas comes out for the Best Movie Award, and gets a standing ovation. He even says, “There has to be an easier way to get a standing ovation…”

The winner, en route to an Academy Award for Best Picture in February? “The Social Network”.

Gotta tell ya… though I hate that its taking away all the momentum that Inception was getting, if this wins the Oscar I won’t be bothered… it was a great film. It was an amazing film, from the acting to the story to the effects to the music… and its so much more than a movie about Facebook… its about friendship, its about loyalty, its about betrayal, its about business. Its great. I know that Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone) didn’t like it, but I’m hoping that she at least appreciated it.

So there’s your Golden Globes. Your Oscar nominations will be announced in a few weeks or so, and I’ll be right here, doing my annual running diary during the awards show!

Vh1's The Greatest Songs of the 90s (Part I)

Anyone who knows me knows I love me a countdown.  Be it my favorite Tom Cruise films to my yearly 100 Coolest Things of the Year, I can dig on a ranking of a particular topic.  So, today while relaxing after work and flipping channels, I came upon Vh1's Top 100 Songs of the 90s.  I had seen this show before, and after watching it I realized it aired in 2007, but never all the way through, and I could barely remember much of anything on the list.

So I settled in to watch it.  And I had thoughts on everything.  So what I decided to do was list them as they appeared in the show

Gerardo, in all his
ridiculous glory

100.  "Rico Suave" by Gerardo
(I'm laughing out loud, quite hard)  This song is so ridiculous, I'm not sure anyone took it seriously when it came out, much less now.  Except for maybe Gerardo.

99.  "The Rain (supa dupa fly)" by Missi "Misdemeanor" Elliott
Not a fan.  Never been a fan of Missi. 

98.  "Unbelievable" by EMF
There was the rumor that EMF stood for "Energetic Mother F-bombers", though I don't know if that was ever substantiated.  What I do know, is this song rocked out my dadgum junior year of high school. This was the epitome of the early 90s pop, and how meaningless it was, yet how much fun it was. 

The things you say, your purple prose gives you away?  What does that even mean?

97.  "Gett Off" by Prince and the New Power Generation
Prince is one of the most sexually suggestive, non-obvious dirty artists out there.  Even his performance at the Super Bowl a few years ago was one innuendo filled twenty minutes, and this is no different.  I liked some 90s Prince, but this wasn't one of the songs I cared for. 

96.  "(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection" by Nelson
In my life, I've always had a personal "Top Ten" or "Top Five" favorite song list, mostly mental.  Some of the songs that have topped this mental top song list include "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany, "I Like It" by Dino, "Fortress Around Your Heart" by Sting and this song, by Nelson. 

Even now, I hear it and I remember being 15 again.  And I know the words, somehow... and many of you do too.

I was so excited because I won a contest on a radio station by telling the funniest joke of the night.  Joke is not Emmy Turnbow Safe, so I won't repeat it.  Anyway, they asked me which cassette I wanted, I told them Nelson's latest.  They sent me Roxette's "Joyride".  Sigh.  Had to go out and buy Nelson.  I still have both. 

95.  "This Is How We Do It" by Montell Jordan
Like, in 1995, you couldn't go to any party without hearing this song.  It was all over the place, because you had this dude singing about partying, having a good time, with all the gang bangers forgetting about the drive-bys... the irony of this song is that despite Jordan singing about the hood, I'd always heard he grew up in a wealthy home and probably knew little about the Man holding the Black Man down.

Some of my favorite lines include... "So I reach for my fo'ty and I turn it up, designated driver take the key to my truck..." and "Every since I was a lower case g, but now I'm a big G, girls see I got the money, hunned dolla bills y'all..."

94.  "The Way" by Fastball
Eh.

93.  "Stay (I Missed You)" by Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories
One of my 100 favorite songs of all time, and if I had to write a top ten list of songs that I love to sing outloud, this would easily be on that list.  Its funny, though, that its a song that I cannot jump in the middle of... I have to start at the very beginning and work my way through it. 



So if someone says, "How does that part where she goes 'some of us hover while we're waiting for the other' go" and I can't just say the next line... I have to softly say to myself, "you say i only hear what i want to you say I talk so all the time so so I thought what I felt was simple and I thought that I don't belong and now that I am leaving now I know that I did something wrong..." and work my way to it.  And I have fun doing it.

92. "911 is a Joke" by Public Enemy
This song popped up right around the beginning of the decade, and I can't honestly say I've heard the thing all the way through.  I just remember it being all controversial because it made fun of 9-1-1, which I guess at the time was a relatively new feature to most of the country.  Whatever.

91.  "Building a Mystery" by Sarah McLachlan
I do love me some Sarah, but this song?  For me, its "Possession", my favorite song ever of all time. 

90. "You Get What You Give" by The New Radicals
This song makes me kinda angry.  Why?  Because its total crap.  The guy can't sing, its got an annoying tune, the lyrics are stupid and I hate it.  Next.

89. "Never Said" by Liz Phair
Never been a huge Liz Phair fan, and really, neither has The Lovely Steph Leann, but she loves her some "Why Can't I" from movies like "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" or whatever. 

88. "Barely Breathing" by Duncan Sheik
This song taught me a lesson.  I was so into "Barely Breathing" when it came out, I would turn it up and sing every single time it came on.  In 1999, I was ready to anoint this song king of my mental list, the top of my own chart in my head, even though it was fairly new at the time.  That's how much I loved it.

Then I heard it over and over.  And over.  And over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.  And over again.  And by the 7,822nd time I had heard it in the span of two hours, I was growing a little weary of it.

And suddenly, I couldn't hear any more of it.  I turned away when it came on.  Not only had this song had the biggest drop from the top of my mental charts to the bottom, I felt stupid considering it for my favorites song list.  It had worn out its welcome, and I was done with it.

That taught me... give it a while, be it a movie or a song, to see how it holds up.  Some movies and songs are awesome to begin with, yet over time, wear on you a bit and aren't as great as they were.  Some start out slow and catch on, becoming awesome over time.  I call it the Duncan Sheik Rule... give it a minimum of 2 years. 

87. "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus

Its like, even his mullet has a mullet

I have probably mentioned this before, but when I was in high school, I didn't get out much.  Parties weren't my thing, mostly because I wasn't invited to many until at least my junior year, maybe senior year.  So, when I was at home on the weekends, particularly Saturday night, I was in my room either watching movies or listening to KMX (Max 106.7) when they played Open House Party with John Garabedian. 

Open House Party was (is?) this program that would showcase new artists and new songs by current artists, sometimes weeks before they would hit the airwaves on regular rotation.  So, as an Open House Party listener, I was the first one in my small school to be aware of this new band called Nirvana, this new chick named Mariah Carey, and this country rockabilly ditty that went something like "Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, I just don't think it understands..."

I remember singing this song to myself while waiting outside first period, and classmate Michael Knowles asked me what I was singing.  I told him "this song called 'Achy Breaky Heart' by this guy named Billy Cyrus."  He told me the song sounded stupid.  I told him I thought it might be big.  We were both right. 

86.  "Linger" by The Cranberries
Oh my gosh, how much so I love this song.  No kidding... from the opening music (which, by the way, is about 53 seconds long, meaning when I worked at WKMX or WTBF, I had enough time to talk about where John Houston would be this Saturday, like at Bondy's Ford Jeep Eagle, or had enough time to plug the community garage sale in Brundidge) to the light voice of Delorous O'Rierdon, to the music and tune, its perfectly set for a melancholy kind of day. 

Probably on my Top 100 Songs of All Time.  And I'm missssssing you... you know I'm such a fool for you... you got me wrapped around your finger... do you have to... do you have to... do you have to let it linger...

85. "Insane in the Brain" by Cypress Hill
Why you messin' with me, essa... can't you see I'm loco... loco... loco...

This song is ridiculously cool by a bunch of random white dudes and black guys in flannel that smoke lots and lots of pot, like the 90s version of the Grateful Dead.  Cops, come and try to steal my crops, them pigs wanna blow my house down... its a hoot.

I have this song on Cassingle, and I swear its a forgotten oldie by all those under 21. 

84.  "Informer" by Snow
Who knows what the crap this guy is saying?  Back in senior year of 93, this was a big song, and we all tried singing it... except all we could get out was "licky boom boom down", and none of us knew what that meant.

Of course, being 17 year old boys, me and my buddies came up with lots of things it could have stood for.  I do remember my freshman year in college, I would sing, "Come with a nice young lady, intelligent she plays Atari, then she do the dance lambada..." (that wasn't the lyrics, but it sounded good.)  My roomdawg at the time said, "Dude, if she is intelligent, she is NOT playing Atari."

83.  "Cannonball" by The Breeders
When this song popped up, I was thinking I'd never heard of it.  But... hearing it, I have heard it.  Sort of.  Heading to iTunes to get it now.

82.  "My Mind Playin' Tricks On Me" by The Geto Boys
Now this song... I've never heard of.  Seriously.  Apparently, there's a midget black dude that was one of the lead singers--and now he's given his life to Christ.  No joke.   His rapping sucks, but hey, if it reaches one person...

81.  "I Don't Wanna Wait" by Paula Cole
I like this song.  Her first tune was "Where Have all the Cowboys Gone", which was okay, but this song was fabulous.  I know it was on Dawson's Creek, but I can honestly say I've never seen an episode of that show.  I just like the song cause I like the song.

When I worked at Cox Radio, I worked along side of the best people in the whole world, Michelle Carr.  Michelle happened to hate this song, mostly because she kept getting caught up on the grammatical atrocity that was the lyric, "Open up your morning light, say a little prayer for I..."  and she would hear it and say, "Its prayer for me!  Not I!  For me!"   I would purposely play it in my car when we rode together.  Just for her.

80 . "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred
Where to even begin with this song?  It was like the 90s version of Frankie Goes to Hollywood, putting forth an anthem that almost had no other option than but to be a gay anthem, or one that is used in every modeling show in the free known world... or both.  I have this cassingle upstairs. 

79. "B****" by Meredith Brooks
The only thing I didn't like about this song, other than the fact I didn't really care all that much for the song, was the fact that when I was announcing on WKMX and WBPT, I had to say, "Here's one from Meredith Brooks" or "...that was 'Hook', the latest from Blues Traveler... up next, Meredith Brooks new one."  I couldn't rightfully say the title of the song. 

80.  "Are You Gonna Go My Way" by Lenny Kravitz
So, I consider myself a casual Lenny fan.  He's good, he can rock it and all that, and yeah, this song is a great driving song. But overall, not my favorite guy in music... however, he also did "Fly Away" and a good remake of "American Woman"... so maybe I like him more than I can admit.

77.  "It Was a Good Day" by Ice Cube
I like the fact this song starts with "Just waking up in the morning, gotta thank God..." then he proceeds to talk about living in the hood, and how he's getting with this chick, drinking a fo'ty, and all that.  The song is actually quite brilliant, discussing how for one day in the South Central Hood, no one got shot, no one got killed, everything was peaceful. 

And I love the line "didn't even have to use my A-K... it was a good day..." (ooh wah ooh)..  I say that line now to blank stares from most people. 

76.  "Run-Around" by Blues Traveler

Popper apparently had a heart attack about ten years
ago, and had surgery to take off about 200 pounds.
And he recently got busted for pot.  Run around.

EVERYONE liked this song.  EVERYONE.  Don't tell me you didn't, because you are lying through your teeth.  I mean, John Popper, weighing in at like, 400 pounds, belting that harmonica, this song was freakin' everywhere.  Popper wore this over the shoulder belt of harmonicas, loaded with like, 12 of them or something. 

The video was also awesome, doing a play off of The Wizard of Oz taking place at a Blues Traveler concert.  I'd go see them in concert if I could.  And I wanted to learn the lyrics to this song so badly, but could never get it down... I like coffee and I like tea... but to able to enter a final plea and... something something...

My theory is that Sister Hazel is the 2000s decade of Blues Traveler.  Had like, one, two good songs, and everyone in college wanted them.

Why yes, I have this album.  Why do you ask?

75.  "Jump" by Kris Kross
From where I sit, this cassette is placed about 50 feet from me.  Up the steps, in a box.  These kids wore their clothes backwards, they were two little kids giving rhymes you ain't never heard, something something something word...

And I will admit, I know every single word to this song.   Went bowling with a student group some years ago, and they played this song.  And I sang it.  And the 13 year old kids were staring at me while I told them I was "the miggity miggity miggity miggity mack daddy, I'm the miggity miggity miggity miggity mack"...

74.  "Believe" by Cher
You cannot understand how much I hate this song.  Like, I despise this song.  Watching the recap of the song and its success makes me want to kill myself. 

73.  "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground
One of the most overrated songs, ever.  Disco Lemonade?  Really? 

72.  "One Week" by The Barenaked Ladies
Holy crap, this song was everywhere.  And everyone wanted to figure out the lyrics... something about chicka-de-china, the chinese chicken, had a brainfreeze and your brain starts sticking and something about the X-Files and the Smoking Man and some other stuff and I loved it, and had a ball playing this song on WTBF. 

When I was living at Willow Terrace, with my best mate Wookiee, we had another roommate who was dating this chick... we liked her and all, she was cool, but one day he decides he's going to move out.  To help compensate for the rent, he's told the chick she could live there.  So I get to live, and share a bathroom with, a chick.  Wookiee had his own restroom facilities. 

Anyway, I was in my room, on my little loveseat watching cable when I heard her call for me.  I got up, went to her room and she said, "I've got the coolest song ever.  I just discovered it... take a listen to this..." and she played for me "One Week".  It was a bonding moment.  Haven't seen her in like, 12 years.

No one I know knows the lyrics of this song. 

71.  "Tennessee" by Arrested Development
From 1992, I dug their whole vibe.  They were the early 90s version of the Black Eyed Peas, singing about awareness, social issues and the plight of those who are less fortunate (see "Mr Wendal").  This song was awesome, and like "Jump", I know every single word of the song.

Take me to another place, take me another land, help me forget all that hurts me, let me understand your plan...

70.  "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai
This is a great example of how tastes change, because when this song came out, I hated it... but years later, this song is fantastic.  I love hearing it, I love singing it in the car, and I loved watching this video where he dances around the room while the room spins around him.  Great stuff.



69.  "Freak on a Leash" by Korn
The interesting thing about Korn is one of their guys, Brian I think his name was, gave his life to Christ some years ago.  And in interviews, he's very vocal about his love of God, and he's still very real, using language and such while doing it.  He admits his addictions to sex and drugs, but that God saved him from all of that.  Hear hear.

68.  "Gettin' Jiggy With It" by Will Smith
Remember when Will Smith was a rapper?  Fresh Prince first, then eventually this?  How corny, yet how cool is this song?  He doesn't swear in his songs because he is afraid his grandmother would be offended.  Of course, I have no idea what "Jiggy" is, though as a then 20something old guy, I could guess.  He's living that lyfe some consida a miff. 

You trying to flex on me, don't be silly?  Big willy style's all in it, gettin' jiggy with it...

67.  "Groove Is in the Heart" by Dee-Lite
Ugh.  Hated this song then, hate this song now.  I can handle it a little better now than I could when it came out, but that's like saying, "Oh, then I had a migraine that lasted for a year, but now its only a severe hangnail so its all better"... that hangnail still sucks.  And so does this song.

66.  "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain
Let's look at this song with perspective... first, its a great song.  Edwin has a great voice, its well written, its a well performed song, it sounds good.  However, when it came out, this song was played like, every fifteen minutes.  On rock stations.  On pop stations.  On soft rock stations.  I mean, you could not get away from this song, and it was ev-a-ree-where... seriously. 

So for a few years, like, 1998 to about 2007, I couldn't handle this song.  Now that its a little more

65. "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground

This song is so far from Emmy Turnbow Safe, its not even funny.  But this song is one of the most ridiculous, most fun hip-hop songs I've heard.  It doesn't take itself seriously, and Digital Underground, led by this dude who wore a stupid looking fake nose and fake glasses, and sang lines like "I shoot an arrow like cupid, I use a word that don't mean nothing like looptid".  And at the end, he gives props to Samoans.  Love it.  I'm now going to repent.


64. "Peaches" by The Presidents of the United States of America
Does anyone actually know what this song even means?   You can tell how old someone is, because you can say, "Move into the country..." and if that person comes back with "...gonna eat alot of peaches", you'll know they are older than like, 20. 

63.  "Mo Money/Mo Problems" by Notorious BIG, featuring Puff Daddy and Mase
How jam is this song?  No joke, I love every bit of this song... and heck, the message is there... the more money you gotz, the mo' problemz you gotz. 

62.  "I Alone" by Live
Rock on.  Rock on.  "Throwing Copper" is one of those albums that just... well, rocks your face off.  I am so afraid to study the lyrics closely to "I Alone" because I'm afraid I'll be convicted for liking it.  Not sure if its sacrilege or not, but man, this song is fun to sing in the car, and man did I rock out to this music. 

This is a great, great song to run to.  When you decide to do that.   Probably one of my 100 favorite songs of all time.

61. "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow
This is one of my favorite albums, "The Tuesday Night Music Club", her debut album.  I mean, this song was so great, and really just fit my freshman year in college.  First, you have to know I love, love, love Sheryl Crow... well, 1990s Sheryl Crow, not recent political activist Sheryl Crow.



I hear this song, and I'm instantly sitting in Stewart Hall, next to Kat Gates, across from Allison Wiggins, and with Lisa Murphy, Kathy Hollingsworth, Gibson, Wookiee and The Wench.  Oh, and Erin Magonigal, who is singing along when it comes on the overhead music.

1990s Sheryl Crow is awesome, and it all began with this one.

60.  "Poison" by Bel Biv DeVoe
Ha!  Ha!  I love it! 

I love this song, especially from the opening notes.  This song is so great... these guys were tight with Boyz II Men, and this was the group who told all of us young guys that women... are poison.  It was a warning.  It was advice.  Never trust a big butt and a smile. 

I know she's a loser... how do you know?  Me and the crew used to do her... that is a warning to stay away.

59.  "Buddy Holly" by Weezer
Without this video, this song never sees the light of popularity... however, this video has them in the 50s, singing at Arnold's Diner during an episode of Happy Days, and this video is one of the best of all time. 

58.  "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" by Sophie B. Hawkins
Oh my gosh is this song hot.  Let's talk about a make out song from the 1990s, but being as unpopular as I was, it was probably God's grace that it never worked for me.  But this song is so great.   She came out later with "As I Lay Me Down" which to me was a terrible song, and totally overplayed... but "I Wish I Was Your Lover" will live forever in my iPod and on cassette single upstairs.

57. "Can I Get A..." by Jay-Z
It it possible that Jay-Z is like, the most overrated rap guy of all time?  He's pretty good... but... really?  However, he ended up as one of the coolest things of 2009 with his Alicia Keys duet "Empire State of Mind"...

Can I get a what-what?" 

56.  "Mama Says Knock You Out" by LL Cool J
From 1990, this song rocks.  LL Cool J was all up in your face, he had these ripped abs that all the chicks loved, and all the guys were singing "Mama said knock you out!" when doing anything of a competitive nature.

I have somewhat of a man crush on Cool J... he rocks.  When I saw on iTunes his greatest hits was for $7.99, and I bought it immediately.

55. "Criminal" by Fiona Apple
She's got a great voice, and I was never into this song until I saw the video, when this 18 year old chick was slinking around in her underthings.  Seriously, seeing this at 20 years old, that's awesome.  However, looking back, she was kinda slutty, so it takes away from it.  The song itself is just... well, eh. 

I did see a Christian drama to music for this song.  I never did it with my team.

54.  "One of Us" by Joan Osborne
Poor Joan Osborne.  She suggested "what if God was one of us", and asked the question how we would respond to Him.  I never took it as a "what if God were just mortal, just like us", I took it as a "What if God brought Himself to our world, using someone as a vessel--how would we respond to the least of these?"  Maybe I misinterpreted it. Either way, the song is just okay for me... I liked it well enough, but it was never a favorite.

53.  "OPP" by Naughty by Nature
This brings back so much high school for me... but this song is hilarious.  Perhaps back then, we were all just trying to figure out what O-P-P stood for, though now that I'm older, I'm pretty sure I know.  And as I sang along with the lyrics on tv, The Lovely Steph Leann who just came in, looked at me wide eyed.  Not an Emmy Turnbow Safe song. 

52.  "Fly" by Sugar Ray
Mark McGrath is one of those guys who has quite a blessed life... a successful rock group, a television career, and now he's a family man.  And all chicks I knew loved them some Mark McGrath.  And the song "Fly" is simply a rad song... its a fun song, with nothing deep and its a hoot.  The Lovely Steph Leann is singing along as they play the song on tv. 

51. "California Love" by 2Pac feat. Dr. Dre.
When Tupac hooked up with Dr. Dre, it was awesome.  I mean, every beat of this song rocks, and video--the edited version, thank you--is a monumental piece of film.  Love him or hate him, I really thing that Tupac deserves the accolades he gets because he was a very, very talented guy.  I dig this song.

50. "Man in a Box" by Alice in Chains
Really?  Ugh.  This was a song that was devoured by my friends Greg Avant and Daniel Stephenson and those guys who were into Anthrax and Metallica.  Not for me.

49. "Who Will Save Your Soul" by Jewel
Can't help it, I liked Jewel.  This song was kinda catchy, it was different, it was kinda fun and bluesy and her voice was a little unusual, so I dug it.  Personally, I like "You Were Meant for Me" better, but only because its fun to sing.

Of course, I'm not entirely convinced that Jewel and Renee Zellweger aren't the same person.

48. "3 AM" by Matchbox 20
I have a memory of this song, and her name was Melanie Jackson.  But overall, this song is fantastic, one of my 100 favorite songs of all time.  Fun to sing, Rob Thomas has a fantastic voice, the band rocked out. 

One of my biggest faux pas... their first song "Push" and Tonic's "If You Could Only See" hit about the same time... and I was like, Tonic is going to make it, Matchbox 20 is a one hit wonder.  And then "3 AM" came out, followed by "Real World" then a few more... and Tonic?  Yep.  They kinda went away.

The Lovely Steph Leann and I were meeting people for dinner tonight, so at about 4:45, we had to leave.  I hit the DVR button to record the rest of the shows, and we left... so #s 47 to #1 will be on a follow-up post. 

Also coming next week... my 9/11 post. 

The 100 Coolest Things of 2009... #10 thru 6

We inch closer to telling you the things of all of 2009...

The 10th Coolest Thing of 2009... "Bombs Over Baghdad" by OutKast
Sometimes I come a little late to the party when it comes to pop culture--especially music... in fact, I heard my first Lady GaGa song the other night.  "Alejandro"... it was so-so.  I think I fast forwarded through the last half of it.

So, since 2009 was the end of the decade, we had loads of "End of..." and "Best of the 2000s" lists, much of which included music.  I'm goofing around on Google, and I ran across Pitchfork Media online, which had a list of the Top 100 Songs of the Decade.  #2 was "Hey Ya" by OutKast... and #1 was "B.O.B. (bombs over baghdad)" by OutKast, as featured on the 2000 album "Stankonia".  I was like, "What the hey is B.O.B.?", so I went onto YouTube and found the video and watched it.  And was hooked instantly.


This is a PG-13 rated video... there are wiggly booties and an N-word in here somewhere, just so you know.  Beware.

You know those songs that, no matter how loud the radio or your iPod is turned up, you need to edge up the volume just a little more when they come on?  "La Grange" by ZZ Top, "Loungin" by LL Cool J, "Crazy on You" by Heart and "Everything Zen" by Bush are songs like that.   And just with one single "don't need to bang less you plan to hit something..." this song was added to the rotation.

Here's what Pitchfork Media had to say about it:  I'm not even covering all of its turf when I list that it contains: the reverbed drums of first-wave hip-hop (played at the tempo of booty hip-hop), organs suggesting "The House of the Rising Sun", futro blips, George Clinton freakouts, choral gospel, rave-up drum-n-bass, Prince funk-metal, speed-scratching, and an extended roller-rink outro. I tell curious people who have never heard it to imagine that Public Enemy handed Side 2 of Fear of a Black Planet over to Southerners.

And yes, Andre 3000 and Big Boi... I do believe a pimp can rock a microphone.

The 9th Coolest Thing of 2009... "Up"
From July 9th, 2009... If there is any issue with Pixar movies, it is this… one day, they are going to make a bad movie. One day, they are going to release flick that is just… well, not good at all. So far, we’ve been entertained by the 9th Coolest Thing of 2008, a friendship between a cowboy and a Space Ranger, a bunch of ants with four legs, some monsters in the closet, talking cars, cooking rats, a lost fish and ranking 20th on TheDave 100, a family of superheroes. So, could this be it? A movie about an old man and a Wilderness Scout who fly in a house to South America? Could this be the inevitable misstep?


No.

“Up” is magnificent in every way possible. The story is fun and sweet, and somehow, the theater gets a little dusty after the first fifteen minutes. The music is fantastic, especially in that first fifteen minutes. The characters are likable, even lovable, from a dorky Scout who is deeper than a dork, to a goofy talking dog, who doesn’t talk by normal Disney standards, but through an inventive collar. Perhaps the least likable character is the actual bad guy, who is really only unlikable because you don’t see much of who he is, other than a jerkface. The main character though, is Carl, who seems cantankerous and miserly, but you’ll discover has his reasons.
 

How can an animated film make you feel so emotional?  That's the power of this early scene right here.
 
The color is marvelous. The scene when the roof comes off and the balloons fill the sky is incredible, a feast of color and animation brilliance. My recommendation is see this movie in 2-D, not 3-D. The 3-D glasses tend to dim the color slightly, and you don’t want that diminished in any way.


Enjoy the splendor, enjoy the color, enjoy the story, grab a hanky for the first few minutes of exposition between Carl & Ellie, and start worrying that maybe the next Pixar movie—Toy Story 3 in 3-D—will be the misstep.  (ps... I heard that last week, Toy Story 3 is completely finished and in the can.  And the early buzz on it is fantastic)

The 8th Coolest Thing of 2009... The Lovely Steph Leann's Class Reunion
Excerpts from September 1st, 2009...  One of the best (or worst, depending on who you are) parts about a class reunion, be it five, ten, fifteen or beyond, is seeing people that you hadn't seen in a long, long time. Friends you had, chicks you crushed on, people you didn't care for (but can't remember quite why), people you just knew and were used to seeing every day for years and years and suddenly, strangely, they are completely out of your life in every way possible.

When it comes to my own reunion back in 2002, for my 10th year anniversary of the Class of 1993, I saw some faces I welcomed like Chris McCall, Tonya Windham, Greg Avant, Stephanie Phillips, Tammy Thomas... now, I can keep up with them via Facebook. Some people, like my 4th grade crush Misty Kimble, I haven't actually seen since we walked off the football field around 8:30pm graduation night.

I think anyone who had been to a high school reunion will relate to some of this... just like The Lovely Steph Leann and DeLisa, who were attending their 15th anniversary of the Baker High School (Mobile, AL) Class of 1994.

The reunion was held at The Blue Gill Restaurant over in nearby Spanish Fort, out on the patio. While DeLisa had scrounged around for her 1994 Senior Yearbook, "The Novis", The Lovely Steph Leann had dug in the archives to find a ton of pictures, spirit ribbons, buttons and all sorts of nostalgic memorabilia. We walked through the restaurant to find a girl named Lynn Sprouse (now Kilgore), who quickly became one of my favorites of the night. It seemed that DeLisa and Lynn were part of a larger committee to help plan this shindig, but over time, it became ONLY DeLisa and Lynn planning this shindig, so while friendly enough, Lynn was quick to point out the failings of some other people. And it made me laugh.

The full story of the weekend can be found here... first, a post where DeNick and I went treasure hunting, and a photo essay on all the great finds we came upon... and secondly, the reunion overall, including my photography impersonation of Lesley Foley of Foley Photography, serving the Florida Panhandle and Southern Alabama, contact 850-543-7407, the porn star next door and these things being spoken:

"Those aren't real."

"I checked her photo. She's pretty hot now, especially since she got her eyebrows under control."

"Time has not been good to him."

"Time has not been good to her."

"Wow... time has been that guy's friend, I think."

"Dude, time has been very, very good to her."

And my favorite exchange of the night:

DeNick: That chick's top... not many people can do a top like that, but she managed to pull it off.
Me: I'm sure a few more beers and that's exactly what she'll do
DeNick (leaning over, trying not to choke on his $3 brew)

The 7th Coolest Thing of 2009... Disney with The Rays
The 6th Coolest Thing of 2009... Steven & Calah Ray
These two can be combined into one spot... we were setting up our trip to Disney World for June 2009 early in the year, and actually had a couple that had discussed going with us.  That fell through, and The Lovely Steph Leann and I discussed the idea of inviting these two people we'd just met, that being Steven Ray and his wife Calah.

They were fairly new in our Sunday School Life Connection class at Valleydale Baptist Church (an sbc fellowship), and our brief interactions had been... well, pleasant, but brief.  We knew he was close to 30, maybe 30ish, she was around 24 or 25... 23?  Who knows.  Anyway, we had enjoyed chatting with them...

So on a Sunday morning, I sat next to Calah and said, "Hey, you wanna go to Disney World with me and The Lovely Steph Leann?   In June.  It will be on the cheap..." and her eyes lit up and she said, "Uh... yeah... definitely.  Let me talk to Steven, but I think we can do this." 

And so we met up a few times, and each time we did we learned more and more about the Rays--and liked them more and more as well--as we planned our trip.  We stayed at All Star Music, and the Rays did the right thing... they trusted us and followed our lead in an effort to do as much as possible over the few days we were there.  It was go go go for three solid days, much of the time spent with Steven and Calah, and we had a few times apart from them so we could do our own thing.   I tell ya, if you want to get to know someone well, spend 10 hours in a Trailblazer, spend a weekend at The Most Magical Place on Earth, and spend another 10 hours in that same Trailblazer...

We got to know them well, and loved them greatly.  Steven is a former music minister, so The Lovely Steph Leann relates to him easy because she is a child of music as well... I relate to him because he's a guy my age.  Calah is a bit younger, an optometry student, but sometimes more mature that both of us guys... and since our friendship has lasted over a year now, with frequent lunches, frequent dinners and frequent game nights...

...and you know what else we love about Steven and Calah Ray?  They call us. 

See, The Lovely Steph Leann and I love socializing... we love being around people, we love dinners and having people over and such... but in our busy lives, we don't have time to call people alot.  Its nice when people call us every now and then, and to the Rays credit, they've done just that... randomly, I'll get a text that says, "BUFFALO WINGS DINNER?" or "YOU GUYS BUSY?  CARDS?" and we'll say "YEAH!" or "YEAH!"

Their marriage is sweet, you can tell just being around them that he adores her and dotes on her constantly, and you can tell that she not only loves him, but admires and respects him as well.  I hope that people see that between The Lovely Steph Leann and I when we are together.

Anyway, we loved our weekend vacation with The Rays and we love our friendship with them as well.  We think both are extremely cool.

Coming up... what IS the coolest thing of 2009?  Is it Disney again?  Is it another piece of technology?  Is it an unlikely starlet with a catchy tune?  Its all Up in the Air... this week, the Top Five Coolest Things of 2009.

The 100 Coolest Things of 2008... 90 to 81

If you are seeing this post on Facebook, chances are the videos won't even appear, much less work. Click over to Clouds in My Coffee to see everything.

90. Erin Formerly-Coates-Now-Whitehead.
She's a friend of mine from Troy State University, and now she is residing in Tallahassee, Florida. Granted, we weren't all that close in college, and honestly, its not like we are BFF now, but Facebook makes stronger friends out of former acquaintances, just like in this case. What's cool about her is that she's an army--scratch that, MARINE--wife... she reads the blog frequently, commenting here and there, and is a Conservative--which means she's got some sense...


Erin and myself on the FarmHouse Frat Riverboat Formal in... 1998? I was dating Melanie Jackson at the time so yes, it was 98. Either way, we were awesome. Still are.

Erin sent me this email not too long ago, something she had written entitled "What I Learned From This Deployment". It is a list of 8 hard-earned lessons about being a mom at home, while hubby is away helping defend our country. This is #8, and I don't think she'd mind me sharing.

Erin writes... "Marine Corps wives are some of the strongest people on the planet. Now, I am not saying that other military wives are not strong, but I didn’t spend the past 7 months with Army wives (except every Sunday night on Lifetime) so I can only attest to my Marine Wife Sisters. And they are incredible. They serve their country each and every day, even when their Marine is home. Because when he is gone they of course have to be Mom, Dad, nurse, chauffer, midnight mechanic, lawn maintainer (ok, I don’t do this but many do), housekeeper, cook, therapist, activities director, veterinarian, baker of 4 dozen brownies each month, and they occasionally do have to shower themselves.

Some of them have to bear the children, birth the children and nurse the children all alone. Some of them have fulltime careers. Some of them are full time volunteers. All of them worry on a daily basis and embrace change as a family mantra mandated by the Marine Corps. The are the very best at waiting. Waiting for them to leave, waiting for them to call, waiting for them to return, waiting for the movers, waiting for the orders that will change their lives once again.

When their Marines are home they take great pride in looking their very best when they accompany their Marine to the Birthday Ball to celebrate the rich history, traditions and overwhelming pride of the United States Marine Corps. They stay awake for long hours when their Marine is preparing for that next deployment just to kiss him goodnight. She listens to people criticize the wars that her husband fights in and while she may get furious and express her opinion, she rarely stoops to their level.

She helps her sister wife who is new to this whole Marine Corps thing by listening to her concerns and maybe by telling her when the very best time to shop at the commissary might be. And she also helps her sister wives who are “seasoned” when they are pulling out their hair because after 15 years they just don’t think they can take another minute. She helps to talk them off that ledge, because she knows she might need talking down in 5 minutes. And they do this with pride and strength and grace and courage. They laugh inside when people say “Don’t you just want your husband home?” because they know that as long as there are Marines, they will always be deployed.

Because America loves it’s Marine Corps, they need those Devil Dogs…and we as Marine Wives know why…the rest of the country gets to sleep under the blanket of freedom they help to provide. But we get the great honor of sleeping next to our Marine…even if it is only for a couple months out of every year.

Erin... you truly rock. And actually, upon further reflection, your sacrifice alone, added to your coolness, probably deserves a much higher ranking than 90... but here ya go.

89. Adding Music to the Blog
What a revolutionary idea! Not that a thousand other blogs are any different, but it all came about when I was reading The Angel's blog, and she had a player on hers. I thought, "Darn it, I have got to figure this out", so I did. And thus, in July, the Clouds started singing. Many people have enjoyed it, many people have given their feedback about what's good (and sometimes, what's not so good) each month, and Alan the Facebook Stalker (my very first one!) even told me that he rocked out to my December Christmas Playlist.

And I figure now is as good a time as any to give you the rundown on what's playing this month. I decided to post a list of my most played iPod tunes this past year--all of the following had at least 14 plays--you may say "What? That's not a lot of play time for a song to be at the top of your list" but seriously, remember I have over 10,000 songs on my iPod, in addition to almost a 100 audio books

"Two Tickets to Paradise" by Eddie Money. Don't ask me why, don't ask me how. This song somehow made it to my Hannah Pruitt playlist and it just went from there.

"If I Ever Lose My Faith In You" by Sting. Ever just had a song pop in your head, and you wanted to hear it then and there? That was the case with this one. And I just kept playing it all throughout the year.

"Full Moon" by Brandy. Possibly one of my top 20 favorite songs of all time, though I'm still waiting for someone to explain what "get to crackin' if you like" means. Anyone?

"Running on Empty" by Jackson Browne. Of course, we all think of Forrest Gump when this song comes on, but seriously, it is a great, great song.

"Kiss & Say Goodbye" by The Manhattans. Smooth, cool, adulterous R&B.

"Light in Your Eyes" by Blessid Union of Souls. This song will probably stay up another month, as I'm working updating 2006's "20 Saddest Songs Ever Sung" list, and the playlist will reflect that in February.

"The Story" by Brandi Carlile. We've been over this in one of my most popular postings as of late.

"American Boy" by Estelle, ft Kanye West. One of my favorite new songs of the year.

"I May Hate Myself in the Morning" by Lee Ann Womack. In 2008, I think I really became quite the Lee Ann fan, listening to her previous works and loving it (all but "I Hope You Dance")

"How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" by Al Green. So slow, so cool, so Al Green. I sound like a Time/Life CD Collection commercial.

"Sail On" by Lionel Richie & the Commodores. The Lovely Steph Leann loves this one... Lionel Richie is Universal, of course. He keeps popping up all over, actually.

"Godspeed" by The Dixie Chicks. Now, as noted in my Dixie Chicks essay a week or so ago, this isn't my favorite of theirs. In fact, this one only had about 7 or 8 plays on the iPod--"Tortured Tangled Hearts" had 15. But since Playlist.com didn't have that one, I chose this one to represent.

"Killin' Time" by Clint Black. Just like The Chicks, the real Clint song that had 14 plays, "A Good Run of Bad Luck", wasn't available. So I picked this one. For whatever reason, I went on a Clint Black run for a while, lapping up his music over and over. And for that same reason, that's over now.

"You and I Both" by Jason Mraz. This became one of my favorite songs to sing in the car this year. I've actually come to realize that I kinda like Jason Mraz.

"Your So Vain" by Carly Simon. Naturally.

"Snow (hey oh)" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. One of the coolest things of 2007, this song continues to be cool. It's addicting.

"Everybody's Talkin'" by Harry Nilsson. Again, falling into the same predicament as Clint Black and The Dixie Chicks, I couldn't find a copy of "I Guess The Lord Must Be In New York City", featured in a Dave100 Top Ten Movie. I picked this one out, though I really wish the other had been there.

"Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak. This one caught me off guard. At the end of the year, I opened up iTunes and clicked on "play count". Eddie Money was on top, tied with Sting with 17 plays each. There was Nilsson, and the Chili Peppers, and Clint Black and a few others and then... Chris Isaak? Seriously? Yep. Fourteen times I've listened to Chris wail about not wanting to fall in love. Hottest. Video. Ever.

"Loungin'" by LL Cool J. If the world existed with no The Rock, there's a chance my man-ffections would be geared toward Cool J instead. He's just hot. And cool. And this song rocks, as it did 15 times on my iPod.

88. The Year of the Sharpie
Am I the only one who likes to write everything with a fine point Sharpie? Seriously... on my calendar, I actually use four different colors--red for birthdays & holidays, blue for events, black for The Happiest Place in the Mall schedule and green for my Starbucks shifts--but I've even taken to using them in my journals for church. I love Sharpies.

87. "Shut Up and Sing"
I discussed this last week, but I did feel like it warranted a place in my list. It was just a great, great documentary, so much so that I want to see it again--and I like it because it doesn't excuse The Chicks from anything they did, but treats their response--and its consequences--with respect. Go watch.

86. "Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six MIT Students Who Took Vegas For Millions" by Ben Mezrich
Supposedly a non fiction account, it tells the story of Kevin Lewis, an MIT student who was recruited by a card-counting group to hit casinos and do just that--count cards. Mezrich discusses the rise of the team, how they went and took out one casino after another in Vegas, Atlantic City and even small riverboat locations, and how eventually, they were blacklisted and sometimes treated to some violent efforts to get them to stop.

I say "supposedly a non-fiction account", because its been reported that many of the incidents in the story were either made up, or called under questioning for their accuracy by those who were there, on either side. Whatever did or didn't happen, it makes for a fabulous, quick read.

FYI, this was the basis for the Kevin Spacey movie "21", which I haven 't seen, but apparently has very little to do with the book, other than the card-counting team aspect.

85. Toolbox Hunting With the Boys
Back in June, I got to hang out with Paulie Walnuts, J Rob and Croyle... here's what I wrote:

The plan, originally, was for J Rob to find a used tackle or tool box, but as the afternoon wore on, it was pretty clear that he just wanted an excuse to go out to thrift stores. Perhaps the best one I'd ever seen was on Highway 150, right across from the Wal-Mart shopping center. Very clean, very organized. We somehow visited one in Centerpoint, then another in Centerpoint, which was like a football field full of nothing but crap.

You can read the whole darn affair here, including the crotch rocket guy, in a post entitled "Shania, Obama and Other Randomness". It was quite a fun afternoon...

84. "Roller Coaster Tycoon 3"
Had fun with Roller Coaster Tycoon, had a blast with Roller Coaster Tycoon 2, and so of course, I had to upgrade with Part 3, which is even better. The leap from 2 to 3 is about a billion times better than the 1 to 2 upgrade. The graphics are better, the rides are better, and though I'm just getting started (I've had it for a while, but let's face it, with two jobs, three blog sites, Facebook, The Lovely Steph Leann, the iPod, Lost, CSI, Mindy D'Andrea, Wii Fit, KT, family, laundry and other stuff, who has the time for anything?) I'm excited about it!

What's fun about Tycoon is that I have a few names during each game... I always call The Scrambler "Mikey's Scramble Butt" for Michael Nipp, I usually name a wooden roller coaster "Ashley's Spell" for just that very person, a metal crazy warped roller coaster gets named "The Hawbaker Hellfire" for Jess and James, and the merry-go-round is called "Princess Stephanie's Carousel". Maybe I do have too much free time.

83. Melissa Clark
She is gorgeously hot. She has a good lookin' man. Her children are just about perfect. She joined Facebook and it looks like her family is, or at least looks, perfect. But after all that, she's one of the most down to Earth, friendliest, fun people I know. We are in KidStuf--Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) Children's Theater--together, but she's also the girl who cuts my hair. Her client list is so popular, she has a waiting list to get on it. I'd say in 2008, my hair got much better.


Melissa, sans man, with her two perfect kids. Of course, she'd probably beg me to differ on that...

82. "Kung Fu Panda"
No, we don't have it. So please don't come into The Happiest Place in the Mall asking for Kung Fu Panda stuff. You won't find it.

That being said, this movie was really, really funny. Credit Jack Black for making Po a great character, and the story line for being entertaining.

81. David Cook Performs
American Idol had several good choices this year, including Young David Archuleta, My Next American Idol Brooke White, and the eventual winner, David Cook. He gave very different, very good performances which set him apart from everyone and anyone... one was his take on Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby"--a white rocker guy singing R&B diva Mariah, and pulling it off? Amazing. Another was his version of Lionel Richie's "Hello". Does it always come back to Lionel "Universal" Richie?


His rocked out version of "Hello", with no cheese head sculpture--not saying its better or worse without it...

Of course, nothing can top the performance of the year, which was truly "Billie Jean"... this is one of those that will go down in Idol history as memorable and much loved.


Not as good as Michael Jackson's, but the lack of small boys and Neverland Ranch helps here

Coming soon... Bobowen gets a store, Bret gets a girl and someone gets a Pruitt Cool Award

Musical Seasons of September

Someone actually told me that they were anxiously awaiting what was being chosen for September... so, uh... here we go!

I will say this... some music, like some great movies, have a few concepts which aren't necessarily on the up and up. So for some of you, especially you EMMY TURNBOW, when you hear the words, "Hello daddy...", its time for you to skip to the next song. And I think if you hear the fiddle and bluegrass, you'll want to do the same.

"You're So Vain" by Carly Simon... of course. This stays.

"Learn to Fly" by The Foo Fighters... Just awesome. Epitome of the 90s rock sound, and just a fun driving song.

"Seasons of Love" by the Cast of Rent... I have to say that I liked the show, I didn't love the show. I also enjoyed the movie, perhaps because I think Idina Menzel is as hot as rock fire, in a Jennifer Herndon sort of way, and I've always liked Anthony Rapp, who you might recognize as Daryl from "Adventures in Babysitting". This song, however, is magnificent.


Here's the video from the movie, and yes, its That Guy from Law & Order. Personally, I like the Broadway version better, but this is still a pretty good version. Also, I recommend Anthony Rapp's biography.

(SOAPBOX ALERT!!) Can I tell you why I like this show, as a Believer and Christ Follower? This show is a great example of who we are supposed to be about. Its easy to sit in church, and pray and encourage each other, and love on each other, and fellowships and so on... and yes, that is what Jesus wants us to do. But you know what else He wants us to do? Love on the people who aren't Christ Followers. And that means more than the potty mouth guy in your office, or the somewhat promiscious secretary down the hall... but it also means the people in Rent. The bisexuals. The transvestities. The drug addicts. The lesbians. The straight people. All of them. Every one of them. So when Angel dies of AIDS in this show, I can only think of how many Angel-type people in this world die everyday without the full knowledge of The Gospel, because people like me don't care enough to deal with them.

Oh, and I don't mean The Angel, because that's Heather Hanson. I mean Angel Schunard, in the show, the transvestite. There is a difference. We'll be back to The 700 Club after this break.

Where was I?

"You Give Good Love" by Whitney Houston... For Michelle. Inside joke.

"Better Man" by Pearl Jam... For KT, though its not an inside joke. We just both like this song.

"Sitting, Wishing, Waiting" by Jack Johnson... one of those elite few artists who can continually be popular and much loved without ever having much mainstream success. Good tune.

"Best of My Love" by The Emotions... Disco at its finest. Well, "finest" might be the wrong word, but Disco at its best... hmm, "best" might also be a strong word. Um, how about, a great example of Disco. I love this song. It makes me smile, and any song that can make me smile is worth it for me.

"Push" by Sarah McLachlan. This one might be for The Lovely Steph Leann. "You stay the course, you hold the line, you keep it all together. You're the one true thing I know I can believe in." Well, her and The Messiah. And since I'm not a Democrat, I mean Jesus, not Barack Hussein Obama. Just sayin'.

"Who Am I/Grace Flows Down" by Watermark. One of my all time favorite worship songs, from a band thats a guaranteed future Dave Hall of Famer.

"Live Like You Were Dying," by Tim McGraw. The Lovely Steph Leann and I went out the other night (how old are you when date night includes a stop at Wal-Mart?) and we were joking around and listening to the radio and talking and what have you... and this song came on. And we both sang. Its such a simple, perhaps silly song, but its really genius.

"This Song Remembers When" by Trisha Yearwood. In May of 2006, on this very blog, I ranked this as the saddest song ever written. I stand by that assertion. How painful is it when you think you've gotten over someone, and a song comes on that takes it all back for you? Ouch.

"Sin Wagon" by The Dixie Chicks. I'll admit it... I'm a fool for chicks with guitars and fiddles, and this has both. Another song I love to hear in the car, as I beat my steering wheel with reckless abandon, and move my head unintentionally. With any luck, you'll hear "Who Am I/Grace Falls Down" immediately after this, just to keep you straight.

"Hook" by Blues Traveler. I thought perhaps of "Run Around", and thats on the list for October, but I really liked this one too. John Popper is pretty talented on the harmonica.

"Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John. This is The Lovely Steph Leann's favorite Elton John song, and thought I was a fan of "Tiny Dancer" and "Take Me to the Pilot", I have to admit, this is right up there. Great piano, great tune, great voice.

"Loungin' (who do you love?)" by LL Cool J. I'm a huge Cool J fan, always have been, even with the crappy stuff from the 80s ("I Need Love"? Puh-leez...). Anyway, the song officially has no dirty words in it, though it has a few (!) innuendos. So, this is the PG-13 part of the blog.

Again, with any luck, you'll hear "Sin Wagon", followed by "Who Am I/Grace Falls Down", only to finish with "Loungin' (who do you love?)"... because that's what just happened to me. I'm so conflicted.

Got a song you'd love to hear in October? Let me know.