The Potential Awesomeness of Death By Misadventure

Aaaaaand.... we're back.
Been a somewhat relaxing weekend, taking a break from most things computer and interwebby, and though I probably could have blogged about four times, I thought I'd leave it til today... watched a ton of movies this weekend, both at the theater, on television, on DVR and on DVD/Blu-Ray, so I'll do my best to shoot through that soon enough.

What else have we got to talk about?  Well, for starters, there's the remaining 40 Coolest Things of 2010, and now that it's almost August, meaning the year is about 60% over, I'm running a bit late on that.  I blame Idol.  Typically, the goal is to have all 100 listed in January, but with American Idol coverage, that's 2 to 3 posts per week, and its just exhausting.  And if I miss one single Idol update, I automatically hear from Brad Latta, the Clouds in My Coffee Ombudsman, with great vengeance and furious anger. 

And there is not only one Disney trip to deal with, from February, there is a Disneyland trip!  And a billion people... okay, maybe not a billion, maybe more like six.  Or eight... have asked me "which do you like better, World or Land?" and its a question that definitely deserves an answer.

Of course, Amy Winehouse died.  Is it sad that... well, I don't really care that much.  I guess I should--perhaps apathy is more dangerous than a hatred, but I'm just being honest.  Wasn't a fan of her music, really, and its to no one's surprise that Amy was found dead.  At 27.  Though, and please excuse me if I cross the "too soon" line, but I'm not sure she deserves to be added to the infamous 27 Club, along side Hendrix, Joplin, Cobain, Morrison and Rolling Stones co-founder Brian Jones.   We still remember those names decades later... in fifteen years, I doubt anyone will remember Winehouse with the same kind of reverence... perhaps she'll be listed alongside those other other names that died at 27, like Fat Pat the rapper and Kristen Pfaff from Hole. 

Not to diminish Amy Winehouse's death... its a tragic thing.  And I'm... well, I could say fearful, but that's not the right word... maybe more of "concerned" or "curious" that someone like Lindsay Lohan is headed down the same path. 

By the way, Brian Jones died in 1969 of drowning in a swimming pool.  His coroner's report literally stated, "cause of death by misadventure".  I have no idea if drugs were involved for sure, though the report went on to say that his liver and heart were enlarged by drug and alcohol abuse.  But take the drugs and booze part out, how great would it be to live a full life, then die at 82 with your coroner's report saying, "Death by misadventure"?   Awesome. 

Three potentially awesome ways to die by misadventure... (1) Not securing your lap bar on a coaster, one that flies off the track when coming down the steepest hill... (2) Texting and driving around Talladega Motor Speedway at 188 miles per hour... (3) Simply participating in The Running of the Bulls.

Didn't say any of them were smart.  Just misadventurous.

And as the fall goes on, I guess there will be more and more mentions of Campbell's or Lorelei's impending arrival.  The Lovely Steph Leann is just over 20 weeks, and that constant state of nausea has gone away just to be replaced with a constant state of heartburn.  I feel bad for her, as I sit and watch "A Fistful of Dollars" on The Movie Channel (like I'm doing now). 

Randomly, we sometimes look at each other and I'll say, "Holy crap.  There's going to be a person who calls you mommy and me daddy.  Dear God, how frightening is that?" and she hangs her head in acknowledgement and shame.  I mean, I can barely be responsible for my own self, much less some runt that is depending on me for food and shelter and clothes.  But man, the tax breaks!   When I suggested holding that kid in until January 1st, so I'd be able to get through the holidays without missing work, she said, "No way!  We need it for the tax write off for 2011!"  That's her, always thinking.

Speaking of "A Fistful of Dollars", its been on my DVR for something like, six months.  Its part of the "Dollars Trilogy" from the 60s, which also contains "For A Few Dollars More" and "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly", all starring Clint Eastwood, and all considered the most popular of the "Spaghetti Westerns"--essentially, westerns made by Italians back in the day, known for their music and style and such... check out the Wiki page on it if you want more.

Anyway, the movie isn't bad.  Don't misunderstand me--its not for everyone... if you don't like westerns, and certainly if you don't like Clint, you won't like this at all. 

That being said, Clint Eastwood is as cool as a cucumber, with his poncho and his low hat and his cheap rolled cigar in his mouth, as he plays "The Stranger", or "The Man With No Name"--he is actually called "Joe" late in the film, in a pay-attention-or-you-will-miss-it moment.  The Stranger rides into San Miguel, this little Mexican border town, and ends up in the middle of a gang war over ownership of the town.  Because he's apparently a capitalist, he actually ends up playing both sides against each other, taking money from each for various reasons and tasks.  Of course, the good guy in The Stranger ends up taking over for the greedy guy in The Stranger, and a pretty intense duel happens between he and the bad guys. 

What sets this movie apart from most of those 60s westerns is the music, which is full of flutes and violins and catchy riffs, the style, which is everything from the color to the scenery to the script, and the story itself... the bad guys are only bad because they don't like each other, while the good guy isn't all that great... 

This isn't a film I'll watch over and over, or maybe not even again, and I don't know that I would consider this in my Top 500 films of all time--and yes, that list does exist--but I'm glad I watched it.  Its enough to make me check out the next two in the trilogy.

Boy, that post went everywhere, didn't it?

The Summer of Blogging Day Forty Four

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony Split – Announce Divorce After Seven Years of Marriage

We’re going to have to file this one under “didn’t see that one coming…”

After seven years of what appeared to the World as a blissful Hollywood marriage, the two power musicians have announced they are splitting up.

Their rep took to the airwaves today to release a joint statement saying,

"We have decided to end our marriage. This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved, and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time."

After a month of speculation, Lopez announced just last week that she had decided to return to her position as judge on “American Idol”.

Related: Jennifer Lopez announces return to American Idol

The couple was married in 2004 and had renewed their wedding vows twice – once in 2008 and again last year.

They have two children - fraternal twins, Max and Emme, who are three years old.

Lopez appeared with Marc last season on “American Idol” in a sexually driven duet that brought down the house and gave no clues as to their crumbling marriage.



This is Lopez’s third marriage after being married to Ben Affleck and P. Diddy Sean Puffy Combs.

She is currently filming the animated comedy “Ice Age: Continental Drift” due in theaters next year.

She voices the character Shira alongside an A-list group of cast mates including Ray Romano, Queen Latifah, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo, and Aziz Ansari.

We haven’t heard what went wrong but I bet the first episode of Idol later this year will be a bit awkward.

Follow InfoStar on Twitte

American Idol Live Tour 2011 Update – Scotty Rules, Durbin Rocks “Guns and Roses” – Video

For all you American Idol fans who thought this year’s shows ended too soon you still have a chance to see your favorite idol live in concert in one of their 47 concert shows that run through September.

The 2011 Summer American Idol Live Tour kicked off last week in West Valley City Utah and all indications are that producers have put together one heck of a show.

The show rundown seems pretty well mixed between individual numbers and lots of duets, and crescendos with a group performance at the end.

Hard rocker James Durbin gets the crowd warmed up with Guns and Roses “Sweet Child of Mine before the entire ensemble bounces in and out doing individual and small group numbers.

Watch James Durbin Sing Sweet Child of Mine Live


Our spy’s on the inside say that Pia Toscano and Stefano Langone do a duet of Rihanna’s "California King Bed”, and Casey Abrams hits it out of the park with a version of Santana's "Smooth" while playing his signature stand-up bass.

All the girls join together for a tribute to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”, and of course runner up Lauren Elaina gets the stage to herself for “Like my Mother Does.”

Related: Lauren Elaina sings “Like My Mother Does” - Video

Hailey Reinhart also gets a moment alone on stage for Elton John’s “Benny and the Jets”, and Pia Toscano blows away the crowd with “Empire State of Mind.”

Watch Idol Live Show Compilation Concert Video


Leading off for the guys is veteran singer Paul McDonald with his version of Rod Stewarts “Maggie Mae” followed by heart-throb Stefano Langone playing the piano while performing Bruno Mars “Grenade.”

Watch Paul McDonald Sing Maggie Mae Live


After a few mare solos, all the guys join on stage for a group rendition of “Animal” by Neon Trees. This was probably the worst and most awkward performance of the night.

But one of the best performances, and the one wanted by the crowd, was by odd man Casey Abrams who brought out his standup bass to croon to Santana’s “Smooth.”

Watch Casey Abrams sing Santana's "Smooth" Live


Once Casey hit the stage you could definitely hear a change in the tone of the crowd – they started to really get into the groove and as you know, Casey has that unusual groove that plays out well in front of an arena crowd.

After a short intermission Thia Megia belted out “Who Says” by Selena Gomez and Stefano brings out the rest of the girls for Usher’s “DJ Got Us Falling in Love.”

James Durbin gets the crowd wound up again with “Uprising” by Muse before Jacob Lusk performs “Never Too Much” by Luther Vandross, and then is joined by Pia, Naima and Stefano for “You’re All I Need To Get By” by Marvin Gaye.

Related: American Idol Jacob Lusk Arrested

And then it happens.

Scotty McCreery comes on stage for a group number and the crowed explodes. Scotty then starts his own private little musical set and gets the crowd on their feet with Josh Turner's "Your Man.”

Watch Scotty McCreery sing "Your Man"


McCreery follows with “Are You Going to Kiss Me or Not” by Thompson Square before launching into his hot single “I Love You This Big.”

Watch Scotty sing "I Love You This Big"


The crowd goes wild.

Scotty then joins with Lauren for a duet of “When You Say Nothing At All” by Alison Krause before the entire ensemble comes back on stage for the huge finale.

Watch American Idol Live Tour 2011 Group Finale


The American Idol Live Tour 2011 has only just started and tickets are still available for Los Angeles, Ontario, Phoenix, Oklahoma City, Grand Prairie, Houston, New Orleans, Orlando, Duluth, Raleigh, Charlotte, Nashville, St. Louis, Kansas City, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Rosemont, Detroit, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Atlantic City, Newark, Philadelphia, and Washington DC.

As for next season, the American Idol producers have already hit the road for Idol season 11 auditions in Pittsburg, Detroit, Denver, St. Louis, Portland, and San Diego.

Follow InfoStar on Twitter – We’ll love you this big

Jennifer Lopez Announcing Return to American Idol for Season 11

Well, it sounds like the whole gang of judges will be returning for season 11 of American Idol.

We knew Steven Tyler was under a multi-year contract, and Randy Jackson has already told the media he would be back, and we all knew Ryan Seacrest wasn't going anywhere.

The only hold-out seemed to be Jennifer Lopez.

She had recently told reporters that she was “on the fence” about returning for season 11 and had not made up her mind yet saying,

"I had an amazing time doing it and I loved it, but I have a lot of other things happening, and it's going to come down to making a choice of really what I want to do for the next year. We're not really at the breaking point of 'You have to make a decision right now!' So I'm not.”

But today, E! News Online is reporting that Lopez will be making an announcement as soon as this week that she will be returning as a judge on American Idol season 11.

That’s good news.

Jennifer was a great addition as was Steven Tyler, and losing her after just a year would have been a blow to the show.

Some insiders say she was holding out for more money – asking for $20 million per season instead of her $12 million she got her first year.

But all you have to do is look at her schedule to see that this woman is as busy as it gets and fitting Idol into her schedule really is going to be difficult.

Lopez and her husband Marc Anthony are producing a Latin American singing competition show called Que Viva that has consumed a great amount of her time this summer.

She has also just been cast alongside Cameron Diaz in the romantic comedy “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”.

The movie is scheduled to start filming in 2011 with a 2012 Mother’s Day release date and will follow the lives of four couples as they prepare to become parents.

Lopez is also currently filming the animated comedy “Ice Age: Continental Drift” with Ray Romano, Queen Latifah, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo, Aziz Ansari, and comedian Wanda Sykes.

The movie is currently being filmed and has a projected release date of July 13, 2012. Plot details are top secret but producers have released the following “Ice Age 4” trailer.

Watch Ice Age Continental Drift Movie Trailer


And if those projects aren’t enough to keep J-Lo busy she is also preparing to star alongside Jason Statham in the movie “Parker” - a crime thriller centered on a thief who lives by a code of honor that includes never stealing money from people who need it.

While "Parker", with a $25 million production budget is still in pre-production, it is slated for release sometime on 2012 which means Lopez will need to find time over the next 10 months for filming.

And don't forget, Lopez also has a very active singing career going full tilt.

Whew… Now I can see why she was on the fence!

We’re glad she decided to come back for another season of American Idol and look forward to another year as exciting as last year’s revamped improvement.

Funny, we didn’t miss Simon Cowell for a minute.

Follow InfoStar on Twitter – no judging here...

American Idol’s Pia Toscano Finally Signs Record Deal with Jimmy Iovine and Interscope Records

American Idol contestant Pia Toscano can finally say she has a record deal.

After Pia’s shocking elimination from American Idol it was announced that she had signed a record deal but her reps later said it was all just rumor.

Today, Jimmy Iovine and his Interscope Records announced that Pia Toscano has officially signed to the label and is now under management with Red Light Management.

Ex-Idol contestants Haley Reinhart and James Durbin are also under contract with Red Light.

Related: Did AI’s James Durbin Really Get Arrested?

Toscano’s first single, “This Time” has already been recorded and is set to release on July 15, 2011.

“Pia has been working with several artists and producers including Rock Mafia and is proud of her first single “This Time”. We look forward to a long relationship with Pia, and other Idol contestants.”

Pia was a viewer favorite before being booted from the show before Stefano Langone. There were also subsequent tales of a romance between the two.

Related: Pia and Stefano share off-set excitement

If you recall, Jimmy Iovine played a crucial role in last season’s Idol competition. It was speculated that any good talent would be snapped up by his Interscope records after the season was completed.

Pia told reporters after the announcement,

"I'm looking forward to working with him and everyone at Interscope Records and 19 Recordings. This is a dream come true."

She also said she will have a new album out before the end of the year and it will be a “huge, big diva sounding album.”

Watch Pia Toscano and Lauren Alaina Backstage Interview


Jimmy Iovine and Interscope also represent 50 Cent, Travis Barker, The Black Eyed Peas, Greyson Chance, Mary J. Blige, P. Diddy, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Fergie, Lady Gaga, new Kids on the Block, Pussycat Dolls, Soulja Boy, Sting, Timbaland, U2, Will.i.am, and others.

Pia seems to be in good company with Jimmy and we can’t wait to hear what she has to bring to the table.

Go get ‘em Pia.

Follow InfoStar on Twitter – Jimmy said it was ok

Nikki Reed and Paul McDonald Engaged

We know Nikki Reed from the “Twilight” series.

We know Paul McDonald from American Idol.

Soon we will get to know them as husband and wife.

Just 6 months ago nobody knew who Paul McDonald was, but after his audition on American Idol that all changed.

The raspy voiced “Rod Stewart” sound-alike was eliminated midway through the season, but not before building a huge fan base.

When news broke midseason that Paul and Nikki were dating it took us by surprise as they had just recently met and both had busy schedules.

By the end of American Idol they were dating and appearing in public together, and just last night they attended the MTV Movie Awards together where she flashed a big fat engagement ring.

And today they announced they are engaged and have plans to get married.

Wow, things sure do move fast in Hollywood!

McDonald admits that he has never seen any of the Twilight flicks but now plans to watch them and see what they’re all about.

Nikki told E! News,

"He's the one. I love him and I don't care. I've never met anyone like him. I've never met anyone who has such a good solid heart and comes from such a good solid family and is just a genuine person. We have the exact same sense of humor. I've never laughed so much with anyone as I do with him."

Paul will hit the road later this month with the American Idol Summer Concert tour and Nikki is gearing up for the next “Twilight” Breaking Dawn release.



Follow InfoStar on Twitter
 

Kara DioGuardi Debuts Reality Show “Platinum Hit” On Bravo

Before American Idol nobody knew who Kara DioGuardi was.

And since she left the show… everybody has forgotten about her.

But now she is back in a new reality show on the Brava network taking us deep inside the music industry to see how hit songs are created.

The show is called “Platinum Hit” and stars not only DioGuardi but pop rock music icon Jewel.

The premise of the show is that a group of twelve unknowns has three hours to write a hit song, perform it in front of the judges (Kara and Jewel), and then await their fate.

Kara says that she understands that not all hit songs are rushed through a three hour process but says,

"Good new songs are the backbone of the music industry. There isn't an artist out there who could survive without hit songs. That's how it happens - you have to make an album, but you're touring and you're busy and your life is crazy. So they clear three hours on a Thursday night and they put you together with a writer and you come out with a song. That is the real world for today’s artists, and that’s what we’re going to show in Platinum Hit”.

Platinum will break the group up into teams where one team will write the “hook” for a new song, and the other team will complete the song and hope it passes muster with the judges.

But a lot of people are asking why Kara DioGuardi? Why not some big named music producer we have all heard of?

Kara DioGuardi IS one of those big wigs. You just didn’t know it!

So what songs has Kara DioGuardi written?

Not a lot of people truly understood her background and credentials when she appeared on American Idol – and she has spoken out publicly about that.

Songs that Kara has written or produced have sold more than 150 million copies, and she has worked with some of the biggest names in the music industry.

She collaborated with Christina Aguilera on her album Back to Basics in 2006, co-writing 12 of the 13 tracks on the album, and DioGuardi wrote and produced "Ooh Ooh Baby" and co-produced "Heaven on Earth" on Britney Spears album Blackout.

She co-wrote and produced Pink's "Sober", Kelly Clarkson's "I Do Not Hook Up", Katharine McPhee's "Had It All", Carrie Underwood's "Undo It", and Theory of a Deadman's "Not Meant to Be", among others.

She wrote much of The Hannah Montana Season 3 Soundtrack including "Mixed Up", "He Could Be the One" and "Don't Wanna Be Torn".

Then there was Demi Lovato's song "The Middle", and "If I Can't Have You" for Meat Loaf's 2010 album.

DioGuardi also co-owns Arthouse Entertainment – a production company that provides songs, music, writers, performers, and complete compositions for other companies and artists.

Arthouse has been responsible for B.O.B’s “Nothin’ On You”, Bruno Mars “Just The Way You Are” and “Grenade”, Cee-Lo Green’s “Forget You”, Flo Rida’s “Club Can’t Handle Me”, Jim Jones' "We Fly High", Nick Lachey's "What's Left of Me", David Archuleta's single "Crush", Mika's "Grace Kelly", OneRepublic's "Apologize" and "Stop and Stare”, Faith Hill's "Lost", "Sober" by P!nk, "Pieces of Me" by Ashlee Simpson, and "He Could Be The One" by Hannah Montana.

See what we mean? But why are we telling you all of this?

We’re telling you this so when you watch the show you can understand that Kara really does pack a powerful industry background and actually knows what she is talking about.

Regardless of what her American Idol fans thought.

Platinum hit airs on Monday nights on the Bravo channel.

Watch Platinum Hit Producer Sneak Peek Interview


Follow InfoStar on Twitter – It may make you a star!

Scotty McCreery – “I Fell in Love” – Relationship has Been Building All Year.

American Idol always delivers a few surprises.

But this year the big story seems to be the relationship between winner Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina.

Maybe we should have seen it coming, but producers didn’t want it out for public consumption until the competition was over.

One insider says,

“We didn’t want it to effect the voting. It was something that happened over time and we knew it would get out eventually. Now that the show is over it will just add to their popularity and success.”

Indeed, Scotty and Lauren have become close, and Scotty even told E! Online that he had fallen in love.

After hearing his name Wednesday night the two quickly embraced each other with hugs and kisses and the rumor mill went into Hollywood overdrive.

But are they dating? Are they a couple? Is there really a relationship there? Insiders say yes.

In fact, after announcing the winner, host Ryan Seacrest ask "Scotty the Body" how he felt and he replied,

"It's been a year since me and Lauren Alaina have tried out now. Me and her have been together since day one and we're gonna stay together."

This was the first time most fans had heard such words from the 17-year-old country singer, but suddenly it seemed everybody wanted to know how serious things were.

For her part, Lauren told Entertainment Tonight when asked if they were boyfriend and girlfriend,

"He might be my boyfriend, ask him."

When asked by reporters about the on-air kiss and possible relationship after the show she said,

"I kissed him on the lips, yeah. He might be my boyfriend, he might not be my boyfriend."

Scotty on the other hand is being a bit more subtle with his remarks and comments. After the show he told reporters,

"I'm sure those rumors are spreading, but we're just really good friends. We've been friends since day one in Hollywood. We've been in class together in school. We've gotten really close, but I don't know about the more than friends stuff. I'm still single, but me and Lauren are really really really close friends."

That’s how it starts kids. Think back to when you were in High School and imagine how you would feel with 50 news cameras stuffed in your face and only 10 seconds to think of your answer.

From here, McCreery is already slated to be back in the studio to record his first single “I love you this big”, and Lauren is recording her first song “Like my mother did”.

Related: Watch Lauren Alaina sing “Like my mother did”

The couple will also appear together starting next month in the “American Idol Summer Tour” and have said they plan to record at least one duet together on each other’s first album.

We think this is a perfectly tender moment for the two and wish them nothing but the best. In terms of conspiracy and intrigue there were far more sinister moments that fans never got to see or hear about this season.

Related: Jacob Lusk arrested in L.A. – Mug Shot
Related: Was James Durbin really arrested?
Related: Chris Medina snubbed during Idol Finale



Follow InfoStar on Twitter

The Idol X Championship

Okay, so we missed the performances... they were Tuesday night, airing about the time The Lovely Steph Leann and I were flying over Texas, then Mississippi, flying into Birmingham later in the evening.  It sat on our DVR all day today while she was at work and I was slingin' coffee.  And it sits on our DVR now, as we watch the DVR's finale of Celebrity Apprentice... I'm watching Marlee Matlin and John Rich duke it out, and as much as I enjoy this show, this is actually the first time I've ever watched the finale of Celebrity Apprentice all the way through to its conclusion.  I found out Piers Morgan, Joan Rivers and Bret Michaels were winners the day after... but I just saw John Rich (of "Big &...") take the crown.  Marlee Matlin didn't hear a thing.

Anyway, its time to watch some Idol... some American Idol... We'll get through the performances first, I believe three per Idol, then we'll get through the 2 hour finale in about 30 minutes (there is a lot of fast forwarding that will happen...)

(but before I get to the Idol shows, let me give you the scene... The Lovely Steph Leann watched both shows back to back earlier tonight.  I left The Cabana and headed over to the studio to record The Deucecast Ep VIII: Dead Man's Podcast, available for download on iTunes on Friday.  I got home and she was still zipping through the show, so I ran upstairs to sort laundry while she finished.  The show ended for her, I came back, she left me and went upstairs to bed, and I am now watching the ending to the very underrated, excellent "State of Play"... so as soon as this movie is finished, I'll start the Idols.)

Aaaaand....

THIS IS

THE AMERICAN IDOL FINALE PART UNO

We open the show with a video of an 8 year old Carrie Underwood, then smashcut to her winning a few years back.  The we see a similar video of David Cook as a youth, then see him winning.  Then we see videos of young Deep Voiced Scotty and America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina singing, then their auditions, then them now... I can see the comparisons between Carrie and America's Darlin' (and by comparison, I mean, they are both country chicks--I am in no way saying that America's Darlin' is anywhere near Carrie Underwood) but David Cook and Deep Voiced Scotty?  Not seeing it. 

Here are the judges, and here comes Seacrusty to tell us how important tonight is... which is a waste of time, really, because unless you just watching this show tonight for the first time, you know how important tonight is to the show--and who is going to pick the penultimate show of the Idol season to pick it up for the first time?

Rumors hit the interweb that America's Darlin's Lauren Alaina had strained one of her vocal cords, and apparently, My Next American Idol Haley Hotness was on standby, though if she were able to compete, and then won the show, how big of an asterisk would that have been? 

Each will sing three songs tonight

ROUND ONE -- FAVORITE SONG OF THE SEASON

Deep Voiced Scotty picks up the first song, with Montgomery Gentry's "Gone", done earlier this season.  I always felt bad for Montgomery Gentry, a duo who's heyday was in the 90s and early 2000s, and every year, they lost the "Duo of the Year" award at the ACMs and CMAs to Brooks and Dunn, who won like, 40 of them.  And now that Brooks and Dunn have broken up, it would be Montgomery Gentry's time... except, their time is... well, "Gone". 

Ha!

Eh, song was good. It was Deep Voiced Scotty. 

Up next is America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina, singing Carrie Underwood's "Flat on the Floor".  Not only does she almost do a Dr. Richard Kimble Dam Dive off the top step with a stumble (she catches herself), you can tell her voice is struggling to keep its tone.   Not bad.  Deep Voiced Scotty was better.

Judges remain quiet.

ROUND TWO -- OUR IDOL'S IDOLS PICK IDOL'S SONGS

Deep Voiced Scotty's Idol?  George Strait, who picked "Check Yes or No" as the song to sing.  Love it.  This is a great song, its cute, its fun and its perfect for our Idol Country Guy.  

Without the judges yapping and telling how how J-Lo loved it, and Randy the Dawg declaring that everyone is In It To Win It Dawg!!, this is going quite fast...

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's Idol is... Carrie Underwood.  If someone had told me when I started this post that the over/under on how many times I'll mention Carrie Underwood would be around 3,788, I would have laughed, but not anymore.  Seriously.

She's singing "Maybe It Was Memphis", from Pam Tillis, one of my Top Ten Favorite Country Songs of All Time.  This song is perfect for America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina, and I know every word of it, and I'm actually singing along.  This song is awesome!

Love it!  I have Pam Tillis' Greatest Hits on cassette...


She does, however, lose awesome points from that dress.  Only 7 swans and 3 labradoodles were injured in the making of that outfit.  Nevertheless, she jumps to the top of the music leaderboard.

Ah... now Seacrusty goes to the judges.... Randy the Dawg tells us that we chose these two (thanks Randy the Dawg!), and how even this is... he awards Round One to Deep Voiced Scotty, but Round Two to America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina.  J-Lo loved it.  All of it.  Every bit of it.   She agrees with Randy the Dawg on the Round Winners.  She must have also known we went to Disneyland this weekend, and in our honor, stole Ariel's dress. 

You should play a drinking game and go back and read the Idols posts from this year--take a shot of Jaeger every time I type "J-Lo loved it".  You'd be a full fledged alcoholic by Week 9, in a 12 step program by Week 6 and by the time you read last week's recaps, you'd be awaiting a liver transplant and Seattle Grace Mercy West because yours was so ravaged by the poison.  Just sayin'.

Crazy Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler awards both rounds to America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina, because "she's prettier than you are..."  Love the brilliance in judgement.

Taio Cruz singing the winning song in some competition that I ignored partly because of the debacle that produced the crap song "This is My Now" from a few years back, a contest they dropped altogether until this year.  Fast stinkin' forward.

ROUND THREE -- IF THEY WIN, THIS IS THEIR SINGLE.  THIS IS THEIR NOW.

This is the single that will be released if they win, a song that will launch the career of the Idol winner... and for Deep Voiced Scotty?  Its a song called "I Love You This Big", which would be perfect if...

...if you were singing out of a KID'S BOOK IN THE BARNES & NOBLE CHILDREN'S SECTION!!!

"I Love You This Big"?  What a horrible name for a song!  What a terrible name for a song!  This is a horrible song.  Like, this song sucks.  Now, granted, Deep Voiced Scotty is doing what he can with the materials given--he's singing it well... its just a crappy song.  Who writes these things?  Taio Cruz should have handed that other song over to Deep Voiced Scotty.

Its a passable single, but I hope he has better stuff on any album he has coming up.

Randy the Dawg is marveling at the song and Deep Voiced Scotty.   By the way, in that Jaeger challenge a few paragraphs back, take out the phrase "J-Lo loved it" and insert the phrase "Randy the Dawg just declared ____ IN IT TO WIN IT", and you have the same effect.  Back to Deep Voiced Scotty's song, J-Lo loved it.  Take a shot.  And Uncle Steven Tyler thought it was cool.

And finally, the last real performance of the season, America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina, who is singing "Like My Mother Does", a song that... well, sucks.  Can the Idol Writers not give the Idols a song faster than 2 beats per measure?  Does every original song have to be a stinkin' ballad? 

Kate Ward from EW says it best:  "Its bad enough that the producers handed America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina a number that would appeal to every speed-dialing mother and grandmother out there, but to choreograph a hug between Lauren and her mom?  I haven't felt this manipulated since Pepsi lured me into drinking the diesel-flavored Pepsi Spice through adorable holiday imagery!  Had the moment been impromptu, it would have been sweet and tear-worthy... but the produceers did not even try to hide the fact that it was planned.  By allowing Seacrusty to escort America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina to her mother's seat, Idol proved that America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina was the series' golden child.  Honestly, why even have a show tomorrow?"

The judges just went nuts--Randy the Dawg yelled and declared her the winner, while J-Lo loved it (take a shot!) and Steven Tyler raved.  They all three gave Round Three to America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina.

Yeesh.

My Rank of Performances:
1) "Maybe It Was Memphis" -- America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina
2) "Check Yes or No" -- Deep Voiced Scotty
3) "Gone" -- Deep Voiced Scotty
4) "Flat on the Floor" --America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina
9-tie) "I Love You This Big" -- Deep Voiced Scotty
9-tie) "Like My Mother Does" -- America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina

Part of me wants to Deep Voiced Scotty to win if only because his unbearable single is a little more bearable than America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's unbearable single...

AND NOW... YOUR WINNER...

AMERICAN IDOL FINALE PART DOS

The required video showing all 4 billion people who tried out, and our 2 that remain, plus quick clips of last nights (or earlier tonight) performances...

Just because she hasn't been mentioned in weeks, its
Pickles!  She said she loved both Idols, but she was
supporting Scotty...

Seacrusty opens the show, telling us all of the performances that will probably be fast forwarded tonight.  Get ready.  Seacrusty then tells us that last night, there was a record setting 300 billion votes, and over the season, there have been something like 45 cowellzillion votes--so many votes, they actually had to make up a name for the number.

Actually, the number he quoted was three-quarters of a billion, and then he tells us that is about 2 votes for every person living in America... and I love the fact that like, four people clapped.  Seeing his stat tanked, he calls for the fans of each Idol to give it up, and they do.  The judges are introduced, and now, here is America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina and Deep Voiced Scotty McCreery!

All of the Idols come back to perform Lady Gaga's "Born This Way"... is it bad that I don't remember some of these people?  Fast forward.

Commercial break.  Fast forward.

I'm sure that The Straight Adam Lambert is thinking it is awesome that he's performing with rockers Judas Priest, but I don't know if he knows that somewhere in this world, the surviving members of Freddie Mercury's estate just realized what happened to that studded, chain filled outfit that Freddie used to wear to the gay clubs, and was mysteriously lost.  Fast forward.

Funny video highlighting Randy the Dawg and the fact that his vocabulary stretches to about 30 words in its entirety, including the words, "Yo", "What's happening in here" and "In it to win it!". 

The Soulful Jacob Lusk and Kirk Frankiln now come out, which explains The Lovely Steph Leann's text from earlier:  "What gospel singer would you want to see perform on Idol?" 

Funny thing about Kirk Franklin--and I'm not knocking the guy, I think he's awesome, and I've even seen him in concert--but he's like the P. Diddy (Puff Daddy?  P. Diddy Money?  Diddy Kong?  Sean Hall?) of the gospel scene... he never sings, he just says random phrases like, "Come on Lord help me!" and "I know you feeling it right now!" and "Whatchoo say" and "Whatchoo say" and "Throw yo hands up whatchoo say". 

Gladys Knight, sans any Pips, just came out and added to the song, and to be honest, I actually enjoyed that. 

Commercial!  Fast forward.

We're back, and its The Eliminated Casey A, singing "Fat Bottomed Girls"!  Speaking of Queen... ha!  And who is with him?  Jack Black!  What... what?  Awesome.

Even without The Eliminated Casey A and Jack Black, this song is just so great, I don't care how mysoginistic it sounds.  And this version?  Fantastic.  Loved it.  This might be the best song of the season... and I mean, the whole season.   If anything, I think The Eliminated Casey A is having more fun than he's had this entire show, and maybe than anyone has on this show this year.

All the eliminated chicks from Idol are doing "Put a Ring on It" .  Fast forward until Beyonce actually comes out, in which they do "Crazy In Love", which I completely dig, as its my favorite B song.  Even Naokeem Arakpo can't ruin this. 

Commercial Break.  Fast forward.

Back, and now we see a Steven Tyler video.  Lots of bleeps and blanked out gestures, random words put together that make no sense, and lots of "if that wasn't Steven Tyler saying it, we'd be sued for sexual harassment" moments.

Interesting.  Tony Bennett singing with My Next American Idol Haley Hotness, who looks ravishing in her silver dress.  And give it up, she's holding her own with Tony Bennett.  That is a moment.

Another video, this time focusing on J-Lo, with lots of clips of guys who are all about some Jennifer Lopez.  Lots and lots of crushes.  Plus, the infamous too-short dress shot.  And The Lucky Casey A giving J-Lo a smooch on the cheek. 

Another performance featuring the eliminated ladies of Idol, with Lil Jon (that makes TWO reality shows that I've seen him on in the same day... odds on that?  40,000:1 before today) and... TLC?  What?  Actually, they are only TC, and L died a few years ago.  So, we get a smattering of TLC hits like "Scrubs" and one of The Lovely Steph Leann's favorite tunes, "Waterfalls".  Fast forward. 

Deep Voiced Scotty and Tim McGraw.  This has to be a seminal moment for Scotty McCreery--I mean, Tim McGraw?  With "Live Like You Were Dying", a song that I truly enjoy.  So, no fast forwarding.  I almost feel like Tim came on the show because Kris Allen had "Live Like Your Dying" last year, and Tim wanted to show American Idol that "This is how you sing a life perspective song... I went skyyyyy diving... I went rocky mountain climbing..."

No lie, for the longest time, I thought he went 2.7 seconds and grew a fu manchu.  I never understood what the 2.7 seconds had to do with a terrible mustache until one day it just finally clicked.  Thanks EZLyrics online! 

Good performance.

Commerical.  Fast forward.

So far, I've pretty much enjoyed several of the musical performances tonight... and now, we see a video of bad performances, bad moves and pratfalls from this past season...

Mark Anthony practically making out with wife J-Lo onstage.  Fast forward.

And another video, this time an entertaining one featuring the Idols discussing being eliminated.  The Eliminated Casey A, Blinky James and Stefano Italiano are hilarious, poking fun at one another.  The Peepee Tuscany shows up, wearing a sash that says, "Most Shocking", which actually brings an audible laughter out of me.



Tom Jones with a blank stare... because that is just
about all he can do



And now, the Idols guys song.  Stefano Italiano butchering "Kiss" by Prince, a classic.  How dare you.  Fast forward as I realize its a Tom Jones medley--"Delilah", "Green Green Grass of Home", "Love Me Tonight", "What's New Pussycat" and others. 

Here comes Tom Jones himself, looking like he got the Kenny Rogers Botox--meaning only the bottom part of your face is capable of moving, with everything from mid-cheek up frozen as if its carbonite. 
Commercial break--fast forward.

Ford Music Video--fast foward.

Deep Voiced Scotty and America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina handing keys to a couple of chicks that I am sure I would know who they are if I had watched the previous video... and then, Seacrusty tells the Idols they have been awarded any Ford vehicle they choose.

Now, Lady Gaga--fast forward.

Is this Princess Amidala... or Lady Gaga?
YOU be the judge

I feel like I would enjoy Gaga's warddrobe more if Princess Amidala hadn't done it already in the Star Wars prequels.  Just sayin'.

Commercial break--fast forward.

Back, with America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina singing... you guessed it, Carrie Underwood.  Its "Before He Cheats", a song that The Lovely Steph Leann loves so much its kinda scary.  Like, I can imaging her dragging her keys down my pretty little souped up Kia Soul...  anyway, here comes Carrie Underwood.  Fast forward.

Funny video with the eliminated Idols making fun of how young Deep Voiced Scotty and America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina are. 

And now, debuting her new single, Beyonce!  Fast forward!

Commercial break.  Fast forward.

The end is near, I feel it.

So, now we have some guy singing a song from the Broadway musical "Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark", featuring the song's composers, Bono and The Edge.  With this musical being so panned, being a financial disaster and having nothing but problems, I wouldn't have picked this show to be featured.  On a funnier note, can you imagine hanging out with The Edge?  "Hey, The Edge, where do you want to eat lunch?" or "Where is the remote?  Oh, The Edge, its by you..." or "Can you pass the collard greens, The Edge?"  Love it.

Fast forward through that song and the commercial to follow.

Steven Tyler's song was about to get a fast forward, until I realized it's "Dream On"... though its kinda amusing, and in some ways sad, at how old he sounds... "eery tyy.. i look an a meeee urrr... passss gaaa cleaaaahhh..." 

I imagine this exchange with the producers:

Producer 1:  We need to get Steven to sing a song
Producer 2:  I'll bet he will want to sing that new crap he just put out
Producer 1:  Tell him no way.  He sings "Sweet Emotion" or "Dream On" or even "Walk This Way"
Producer 2:  What if he wants to do a medley of an old song and his new crap?
Producer 1:  Nope.  He gets one minute. 

And he got about one minute for "Dream On"... though it might be that his voice couldn't hold up...

Commercial break... fast forward.

And so now, the next American Idol.  Deep Voiced Scotty stares intently, while America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina looks as if she's about to pass out.

Seacrusty asks for the final dimming of the lights...

And your winner is...

Scotty McCreery, who keels over with his face scrunched up as he fights back tears.  Surprisingly enough, America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina looks perfectly content with it, like she's just glad its over. 

Its been a great season, about 4000% better than last season that gave us Lee DeWyze winning over Crystal Bowersox... the talent pool ran much deeper, and by the last half of the season, I could have seen Blinky James, or Casey Abrams, of course Lauren or even Haley Reinhart winning it... and whats more, I liked most of them.  When it got down to the final six or so, I didn't want any of them eliminated, because I liked them all too much...

But all in all, America made the right choice, and I have contended all season that country music will embrace him fully, in the way that they embraced Carrie... he probably won't have the kind of success that Carrie has had, but if he has the kind of success that Dierks Bentley or even Blake Shelton had, then he will do alright for himself.

And... well, thats that.

Scotty McCreery Wins American Idol 2011 Crown - Video

We’ve seen some of the best go home.

We’ve met two new judges this season.

We’ve learned we don’t miss Simon after all.

And now we know the winner of American Idol 2011 season 10.

17-Year-old country crooner Scotty McCreery took home the gold tonight and is the new American Idol 2011 winner.

Even after last night’s last minute scare, 30 minutes before going live, that Lauren Alaina had lost her voice and Haley Reinhart would be his new competitor.

Scotty made his hometown of Garner North Carolina proud by winning the tenth season’s top prize after a record breaking 122 million votes put him over the top. 

“Scotty had what it took to go the distance and everybody in Garner is very proud of him. The entire town went into shock when we heard that Scotty had won.”

Scotty beat out 17-year-old country singer Lauren Alaina, and emerged as a frontrunner after the eliminations of Jacob Lusk, Haley Reinhart, James Durbin, Stefano Langone, Casey Abrams, Paul McDonald, and Pia Toscano.



So what prize does the winner of American Idol get?

The winner receives a record deal with a major recording label for up to six albums. All previous winners have reportedly earned at least $1 million in their first year after being named winner. Several have gone on to become superstars.

In addition, the top ten finalists go on the road with the “American Idol Summer Tour” kicking off this June and making each contestant a nice six-figure income.

This season of American Idol was a vast improvement over prior seasons. The ousting of bad guy Simon Cowell and the addition of Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez ignited a fresh fire under the show.

Not that this season was without problems and drama.

Related: Was Idol’s James Durbin Arrested?

Things got a bit rocky when Pia Toscano was voted off before smooth operator Stefano Langone. Fans revolted and started a grass roots effort to have her reinstated - but ultimately failed in their attempt.

Fans were ecstatic when Pia announced she had signed a record deal only two days after being voted off the show.

Related: The Pia Toscano and Stefano Langone Drama

And fans cheered when alt-rock sensation Casey Abrams was welcomed back after the judges used their one “save” of the season.

However, some viewers felt that the addition of famous record producer Jimmy Iovine may have led some Idols astray by giving bad advice or pushing them towards a particular song.

Jacob Lusk for example, criticized Iovine for giving him bad advice that Jacob felt ultimately cost him his chance at winning. 

Related: AI’s Jacob Lusk Arrested in L.A. – Mug Shot

And Chris Medina lashed out at producers when he was not invited to the finale live show. He felt that the show really played up his sad story about his fiancée, who suffered a debilitating brain injury, and then dumped him after he was eliminated.

Related: Chris Medina not invited to Idol Finale?

But all-in-all it was a great season. We really believe the changing of the guard propelled American Idol back to what it was in the early days.
And we congratulate Scotty for going the distance and bringing home the win.

Follow InfoStar on Twitter

Video - Lauren Alaina Sings “Like My Mother Does” on American Idol – Impresses Judges

American Idol finalist Lauren Alaina may be closer to winning then she thinks.

Fans around the country are rushing to the internet today in hopes of learning more about the Rossville Georgia native who has country music in her blood.

Last night on the season 10 finals, 16-year-old Lauren blew away the judges, and viewers, with her version of Kristy Lee Cook’s “Like My Mother Does”.

Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, and Steven Tyler all seemed to agree that it was the best performance of the evening and would most likely propel Alaina into the winning spot.

If Lauren wins this year’s American Idol competition, “Like My Mother Does” will become her first single on her first album.

During her performance, Lauren moved through the audience and stopped in front of her own mother to sing a few bars. By the time she returned to the stage her mother was in tear as was most of the audience.

It was the cutest thing we’ve ever seen on an Idol show.

Watch Lauren sing “Like My Mother Does on AI”


Follow InfoStar on Twitter
 

Lauren Alaina Loses Her Voice and May Quit Idol and be Replaced by Haley Reinhart During Final

Update 2: Looks like it was all a ratings grab. Lauren is live and ready to sing. Good luck Lauren and Scotty!

Update 1: Lauren is in makeup and is not speaking. Haley is on-set and prepared to perform.

- Original Post -

Bad news for American Idol finalist Lauren Alaina.

After all these weeks of competition, Lauren is supposed to be competing with fellow country finalist Scotty McCreery in this week’s final show.

But TMZ is reporting that the singer has lost her voice.

Lauren was scheduled to sing three songs Tuesday night but was only able to get through two of them during rehearsal. A doctor was called and Lauren was told not to sing or speak.

If she loses it during the live performance it could be the end of the road for Lauren.

Producers have said that if Lauren is unable to compete during the live show that they will have Haley Reinhart return to compete with Scotty McCreery.

Tuesday evening was supposed to be a night of country music with songs selected by Carrie Underwood and George Strait.

Lauren and Scotty were also allowed to each sing a song they personally selected from season 10.

No word yet if Haley Reinhart has had time to get up to speed with three separate songs for Tuesday, so we will be watching just like everybody else to see what goes down.

We will be updating as the night unfolds.

Related: Idol's Jacob Lusk Arrested in L.A. - Mug Shot
Related: American Idol James Durbin Arrested? 

Follow InfoStar on Twitter
 

Videos - Haley Reinhart Voted Off American Idol – Two Finalists Remain

Poor Haley Reinhart.

She tried so hard, and even had her dad on stage to rock out a little Led Zeppelin.

Last night on American Idol Singer Haley Reinhart was eliminated leaving Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina to take home the gold during next week’s finale.

This is where things are going to get hard, and we are torn between Scotty and Lauren and could see either of them going all the way.



InfoStar had a feeling that out of the three remaining contestants Haley had the best chance of going home. This is the first year that the top three finalists all had terrific talent.



Last night’s show was also full of firsts.

It was the first time we got to see McCreery cry as he journeyed home to Garner North Carolina and visited his fans and old High School. It was one of the sweetest moments we have ever seen.

We found out that there were over 95 million votes – a new American Idol record.

And we got to see the first ever Italian boy band singing “O sole mio” – we’re still not really sure why we had to see that.

So this is it. It comes down to Scotty and Lauren.

Who do you think will win?

Related: Idol's Jacob Lusk Arrested in L.A. – Mug Shot
Related: Idol's James Durbin Arrested – NO. It’s a hoax

Follow InfoStar on Twitter

And Then There Were Two Idols

Deep Voiced Scotty McCreery... America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina... Haley "The Cute/Hotness" Reinhart...

One of these three will be Your Next American Idol.  One of these three will become the next in a list of names that you may or may not remember in a few years (Kelly!  Carrie!  Lee?).  One of these three will be holding the Idol trophy high, the other two will become afterthoughts...

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL

SEMI-FINALS!

Its a two hour show tonight, but I'm going to try to zip through it in an hour or so... tonight, the first song is Idols choice... the second song is Jimmy Iovine's choice... the third and final song is Judges choice.

The mentor tonight is Beyonce, who they tell us had hit after hit in Destiny's Child, though they mysteriously leave out the part where they randomly fired members, backstabbed each other and split almost to the point of not talking to each other.

Personally, I kinda think many of Beyonce's songs sorta kinda sound alike, though I do love her collaboration with hubby Jay-Z on "Crazy in Love"...

IDOL'S SONG CHOICE

Beyonce will be listening to the personal picks for each Idol, and first up, its Deep Voiced Scotty, who will be singing "Amazed" by Lone Star.

Its standard Scotty the Body, leaning on a piano, giving us the googly eyes, and singing well.   Because its not only a total of six songs by three Idols, its also a TWO HOUR SHOW, which means they can sing like, four minutes of each song.  Actually, total it up, and that's 20 minutes per song, with commercials.  Seriously, FOX, can you make this a little shorter? Some of us have to pack for Disneyland. 

Crazy Creepy Uncle Steven says it was beautiful.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg, after self-congratulating himself on his own accomplishments and name dropping (Boyz II Men!), tells him its "money".

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is singing "Wild One" by Faith Hill, a great song choice for her.  She looks like she wrapped her head in a lei, and when she removed it, some flowers still clung to her face for survival.  Still looks cute, though.

J-Lo loved it.  Uncle Steven Tyler said it was beautiful.  Randy the Dawg name drops (Beyonce!) and then tells her she was fearless.

And now for something really different, Haley Hotness is doing a Led Zeppelin song, "What Is and What Should Never Be", a song I've never heard in my whole life, but as someone who doesn't care for Zeppelin or Robert Plant, I prefer Haley's version after the first few notes.  

And she does awesome.. even after she FREAKIN' FELL DOWN!!!  ("I just wanted to die for her" says The Lovely Steph Leann)... she even gets her dad onstage to help perform!

Randy the Dawg declares Haley is in it to win it.  Uncle Steven Tyler says, "its not how many times you fall, its how many times you get back up!"  He loved it.  J-Lo loved it, too.

Randy the Dawg says that Round One to Haley Hotness... Steven Tyler said Haley "got her freak on", and took Round One.  J-Lo shows love to Haley and gives Round One to her as well. 

What can I say... they all FELL for Haley.  HA!

JIMMY'S SONG

Producer Jimmy Iovine has picked Thompson Square's new single "Are You Going to Kiss Me" for Deep Voiced Scotty... and its another good choice for our country crooner.  Strumming and plunking that gii-tar, he nails the song like you knew he would.  If anything, he's been the most reliable of all Idols this year, if not in the last few years. 

I'm fairly certain Scotty the Body is the favorite to win this whole shabang.

Steven Tyler thought it was beautiful.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg says "Jennifer would kiss you!" and Deep Voice Scotty, who replies, "Well, hey"... then Randy the Dawg name drops (Garth!) and declares him "in it to win it!"

And as we see backstage, we see someone with a sucky job pasting "glimmer" onto America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's legs, because "my panty hose ripped".  We cut back to the audition days when America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina was simply Lauren Alaina, and her tears because she was headed to Hollywood, and then brings in her family.

Producer Extra-ordinaire Jimmy Iovine has chosen "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry.   The panty-hose-less America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina takes the stage and I gotta say... she is finally wearing a skirt that flatters the junk in her trunk.  Its not something I'd be too happy to see Lorelei Addison wear, but I guess I'll deal with that in 2027 or so.

Good song.  Really good song.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg thought it was great.   Steven Tyler calls it beautiful.  Seacrusty addresses America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's Mom, asking her what it is like as a parent watching her kid sing... she says, "I feel like I've aged 20 years..." which pretty much says she feels like she's 31 years old.

Now, its My Next American Idol Haley Hotness, who did audition before--by the way, you can re-audition again and again until you make the Top 24, I believe, then you are done. 

Jimmy Iovine picks a classic song for Haley Hotness, that being "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac, led by vocals from Stevie Nicks.  Haley Hotness slows it down a bit, and though its not a perfect arrangement, she makes it work.  I love this kid!

Second verse, it becomes the song I recognize... and there's a wind machine and fog machine, both working in tandem... I'd vote for that alone, methinks. 

Randy the Dawg pokes fun at her for "looking up", though it looked to me like she was doing that "staring into space, focused into the song".   Steven Tyler thought it was beautiful.  J-Lo loved it.

Who won Round Two?  Steven Tyler picks America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina.  J-Lo picks Deep Voiced Scotty, as does Randy the Dawg.

And I think they just showed Beyonce's new video, but I just fast forwarded right through it...

THE JUDGE'S SONGS

So they pick... Kenny Rogers?  "She Believes in Me"?  Really?  That's a classic that my mama loves.  Interesting.

Boring.

Deep Voiced Scotty the Body

Yes, Scotty the Body sang it well, cause he always does, but I found myself surfing the pages of eWrestling.com to find out the latest Smackdown news during that song, because I wasn't interested. 

Steven Tyler says it was over the top.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg says it was nice and tender.  Pappa Daddy the Body is given a mic, and tells how proud they all are of their kid. 

So, last night I was working on The Deucecast Ep VII: Curse of the Black Podcast (subscribe on iTunes!) at Deucecast One Studios during Idol's original airing, and around 845, I get a text from The Lovely Steph Leann that says: "LAUREN'S THIRD SONG... REALLY?   SERIOUSLY?  REALLY?"   When I saw her some three hours later, I asked her, though I knew the answer to the question, "What song was it?"

It was "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack.  Oh em gee does she hate this song.  Like, if I played this at her funeral, she would likely get up out of the coffin, walk over, smack me for playing it, smack me again for making her get up from the most peaceful sleep she's had in a while, then lay back down again.  T'would be a shocking, yet predictable moment.

J-Lo loved it, saying it gave her "goosies" (the song, not the idea of The Lovely Steph Leann rising from the dead, though that might promote "goosies" too).  Randy the Dawg name drops (Lee Ann Womack, my friend!) and loved the song.  Steven Tyler loved it and said it was beautiful.  

EW said that her dress looks like America's Darlin Lauren Alaina is going to the Enchantement Under the Sea dance.

And finally, the judges choice for My Next American Idol Haley Hotness, and she'll be doing Alanis Morissette's legendary "You Oughta Know", though I'm curious what Idol will do with that activity in a theater as decribed by the song...

"...would you go out with you in a theater..."

And there's the answer.

She then sings about "scratching my nails down someone else's back" while looking at Randy the Dawg.  I threw up in my mouth.  But the song performance rulez.  Fan-freakin'-tastic.

Randy the Dawg thought Haley Hotness was IN IT TO WIN IT!  Steven Tyler said it was perfect.  And beautiful.  J-Lo loved it. 

So, who won Round Three?   Steven Tyler says it was My Next American Idol Haley Hotness... J-Lo says America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina... and Randy the Dawg also goes with America's Darlin. 

My Next American Idol Haley Hotness' "What Is and What Should Never Be"... America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's "If I Die Young"... My Next American Idol Haley Hotness' "You Oughta Know"... My Next American  Idol Haley Hotness' "Rhiannon"... Deep Voiced Scotty's "Are You Going to Kiss Me"... America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's "Wild One"... Deep Voiced Scotty's "Amazed"... Deep Voiced Scotty's "She Believes In Me".

THE RESULTS

Clips of last night, showing Scotty the Body... America's Darlin Lauren Alaina... and My Next American Idol Haley Hotness... its time to take it to two.  Its time to send one more home.  Its time to set up the Idol Championship.  Lee DeWyze has the championship belt, but will be giving it over soon... who wants it?  Who will take it?  WHO IS IN IT TO WIN IT???

THIS IS AMERICAN

IDOL RESULTS

The judges come out, Seacrusty welcomes us, and we see former Idols like The Eliminated Casey A and Stefano Italiano in the audience.  Seacrusty tells us that over 95 trillion votes came in last night, the largest total in a non-Idol final.

And I'm ready to fast forward through an awful lot... it took just over an hour to get through the two hour performance show... it should take about 15 minutes for the hour long results show.  

Random video of JJ Abrams meeting the Top Four Idols, Blinky James included, as he shows off scenes from the upcoming movie called "Super 8", which looks kinda cool and fun. 

We see the two minute trailer we've seen before... and The Lovely Steph Leann and I both agree that we hope the Idols were shown more than that... and JJ gives them all Super 8 cameras of their very own. 

Elle Fanning talks to Seacrusty, and giggles and heaved, giving Deep Voiced Scotty some props. 

In this photo, she's only Haley Cuteness.  I'm
not sure when she morphed into Haley
Hotness... but doesn't matter now, does it?

Now we see video of Haley Hotness heading home, back to Chicago.   On a rainy day, she is mobbed by the crowd, saying "Holy schnikes!" at the people.  They declare May 14th as "d$'s Next American Idol Haley Hotness Day", which was kinda fun.

The Lovely Steph Leann notes that they are playing Lady Antebellum during the video, I note that there is a huge sweat ring around the pits of the principal in the Wheeling High School gym.

Commercial Break.  Fast Forward.

Ford Music Video.  Fast Forward.

Seacrusty has said the name of the band onstag four times and I still don't know it.  El Pollo?  El Paco?  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "El Scaro?  El Parko?  El Fast Forwardo?"  Hint taken.

Commercial Break.  Fast Forward.

Deep Voiced Scotty is going home to North Carolina now, in the video.

Me:  Did that chick just have on a shirt saying "Scotty's Hotties"?
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Yep.  Yep it did.

Deep Voiced Scotty was known for singing "Your Man", and the original artist, Josh Turner, surprises him onstage.  Hilarious reaction.

Now, its Nicole Schmuartiaosozo and Fifty Cent doing their new song.  Fast Forward.

The Lovely Steph Leann:  Can you believe there are people who want this music?  Seriously?

America's Darlin Lauren Alaina heads home in our next video, getting her own "America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina Day" on May 14th.   She also acknowledges the tornado damage in the South, including what it did to her own hometown area.  Cue sad Martina McBride song that actually says, "You can spend your whole life building something for nothing, and a storm can come and blow it all away..." 

Massive crowd and parade for America's Darlin Lauren Alaina, and she gets onstage and performs a little too.

Seacrusty says, "We are both proud Georgians... so shout out to them, huh?"

Now!  RESULTS!  Dim the dadgum lights!

After the break.  Fast Forward.

Now, the real results.  Again... after 156 quadrillion votes, the first person in the finals is... Deep Voiced Scotty.  I said it before Seacrusty could even get it out.   He goes and sits in the Golden Stools of I Freakin' Rock.

The person who will lose compete against Deep Voiced Scotty next week is... America's Darlin Lauren Alaina... and Haley Hotness has this "Seriously?  I'm better than both of them!" look on her face, but she smiles anyway.

Join us next week for the finals of Nashville's Country Star American Idol!!!