(don't worry... I wouldn't dream of spoiling this film for you, because if you haven't seen "Super 8", I truly want you to go see it for yourself... so most of what you will read below you can learn from watching the trailer...)
"Super 8" tells the story of Joe, a 13 year old kid who lost his mom in an accident, son of Jackson, who is a police officer in their little town of Lillian, Ohio, and is also grieving the loss of his wife, Joe's mom. Quickly, we meet Joe's friends Charles, Preston, Martin and Cary, all--like my friends were and your friends were at that age as well--with their different characteristics and personalities, some good, some bad.
We also see that Charles is directing a film, using a Super 8 camera, and the movie kind of jumps right in the middle of the production of the kid's movie, and Charles has taken the gumption of bringing on one of the cutest girls in the school: Alice Dainard. And Alice's past and present are somehow intertwined with that of Joe, who really is the star of this movie. Elle Fanning plays Alice, and she's awesome, leading to this exchange on The Deucecast Ep XI: The Lion, The Witch & the Podcast:
Me: Elle Fanning was great in this part Mikey: Elle, I dare say, the better Fanning Me: Elle yes.
Charles (far left) directs, while Alice (the only girl in the photo), Joe (the kid next to Alice), Preston and Martin follow
So, while out filming a night scene in a location that they would be in extreme trouble for being in, not to mention the transportation they used to get there, there is a huge incident, things go horribly awry, and since by now our characters are established, the story takes off like a roller coaster who just crested a hill and is about to fly at 60 mph+. (stick around long enough and you'll see the film they made in its completed form... and it might be better than "The Green Lantern" will be... just saying...)
The villain character comes in the form of Colonel Nelec, portrayed brilliantly by Noah Emmerich... Nelec is not a bad guy because he's evil, greedy or conniving... no, he's a bad guy because he just doesn't care, as long as his mission is accomplished--and by utilizing his "not caring" attitude, a lot of bad things happen to a lot of good people. Emmerich is a character actor that you probably recognize from "The Truman Show" as Truman's best buddy, with a very distinctive face and voice, and though he's been in lots of other stuff you may or may not have seen him in, I am hoping this turn will give him more visible roles.
So, that's all the details I can tell you without giving away too much, and potentially spoiling the surprises and the genuine film "moments" in the movie. When I say "moments", that's something that so many movies today, good and bad, fail to have. Moments are those scenes, lines, or things that really just stand out, that make you smile, that make you think, "That's good..." There are good films, even great, that lack "moments", but this one has several.
Another great thing about this movie is that you care about the characters, you truly give a darn. You want the movie the kids are making to be good, if not cheesy and corny, you want Joe to figure out how to deal with his mother's death, you want father Jackson to treat his son better and be more understanding, and you want to know what was in that train. You want to know what that camera saw.
"Super 8" is fantastic storytelling, it unfolds the drama piece by piece, solving one question while at times, asking another... its tense at times, but never scary, its a sci-fi movie at times, but never leaves its relational core. The movie isn't about what was on that train... the movie is about the friendships of Joe, Charles and other kids and how they react to what was on that train, and as they all deal with their own lives, especially Joe's tragedy, and Alice's family dysfunction.
One of the comparisons I hear is "Stand By Me", and that is a smart parallel, but only because of the relationships of the friends involved... you care about Teddy, Chris, Vern and Gordo more than you actually care about the dead body, even though the dead body is the reason you care about the four boys--"Super 8" has the same dynamic, even with a chick thrown in.
Ron Eldard, left, and Noah Emmerich, the other side, will hopefully be bigger stars than they are.
By the way, that's Ron Eldard as the dad to Alice, a guy you might have seen as one of the shuttle pilots in "Deep Impact", but like Noah Emmerich, his other work may not be as familiar ("Drop Dead Fred"? "Ghost Ship"? Seriously, can you tell me you honestly saw "The House of Sand and Fog"?), and I'm hoping that this will raise his stature.
There is some language in it, much of it by the kids being... well, kids. There is an F-bomb right in the middle of the movie, though its kind of comical by who says it, and the violence is really just sci-fi violence. I'm afraid to use the word I'm looking for, which is "alien-violence", because I don't want you to thinking, "Whatever, I'm not going to see some alien movie..." because its just not that... I mean, it is, but its not.
To sum up, I loved the movie, as did The Lovely Steph Leann. Go see it, in the theaters, don't wait for the DBDB release. Get a big bag of fresh popcorn, a Co-cola and a pack'a Twizzlers, and enjoy a movie that was made for the movie-going experience... you might not have another movie all summer to give you such an opportunity.
Toni Rocki Honda is showing her age. I guess its expected, as she's fifteen years old now--I've only had over a little over 2 years, and she's only got 123K on her, but at fifteen, part after part is needing to be replaced, little by little, she's costing us a fortune.
My air conditioner went out on me in late August, as I was driving home to Samson for the day. It was working fine until I got to somewhere past Clanton. I stopped at a Hardee's, and after getting my food and getting back in, I heard a small pop of some sort when I started the car. And suddenly, Toni Rocki Honda was just blowing... air. Not cold air. Not cool air. Just air.
Its going to cost close to a grand to get everything fixed in the air, the compressor, the hoses and belts, whatever else. So The Lovely Steph Leann and I have gone back and forth--do we get it fixed, and then hope nothing else breaks, or do we make a plunge and go ahead and get something else... I've never had a new car. Matter of fact, every car I've owned has been nothing but a mechanic's dream--lots of maintenance. I feel like I've had not just a lemon, but a grove. A new car? Wow, that would be amazing.
Anyway, the Mizzus was in Pensacola Thursday night, for work, her time of the month. For the trip, I mean. So I headed on my own to do some reconnaissance work at two places we had discussed... the local Kia dealership and the local Hyundai. I know, I know, there are some people out there now that who hear the word "KIA" and "HYUNDAI" and shiver, and automatically think I'm in the welfare line... they give me the guv'mint Land O'Lakes, the guv'mint Kraft slices and the guv'mint Honda... and ten years ago, absolutely.
I remember some retreat I was involved in around 99 or 2000, and the speaker told a joke that a KIA Sportage is a combo of "Sports" and "Garbage".... but I did some looking on the interweb and it seems that both cars are much more reliable now. Plus, I know people who have newer models of both, and they love them.
So I stopped at Riverchase KIA over on Highway 31, and walked around. After a few minutes, a pleasant guy named Ken came out, shook my hand, and we chatted for a while. He wasn't pushy, he wasn't invasive, he built up KIA while not trashing other brands, telling me that Hondas and Hyundais are good cars, but (of course) he thinks the KIAs are better deals. And one I really liked was the KIA Soul... its a far less gay version of the Mini-Cooper. It might be a little out of my price range, but still...
The 2011 Elantra Touring
I left Ken and KIA and drove over to Tameron Hyundai. Tameron is the dealership that sold The Lovely Steph Leann the Honda she drives, and though I've never had a problem with Tameron, and they have always been nice enough, I don't know that Tameron Honda is where I want to go--likewise, Tameron Hyundai isn't where I'll probably buy a car, but I did want to look at some models, like the Elantra, the Accent and the Santa Fe SUV. I was all about the Hyundai Elantra Touring, a station wagon, but much, much cooler looking. Again, probably out of my price range, but we shall see...
The point of this little anecdote, though, was that at KIA, the guy came out after about ten minutes, which was fine with me. At Tameron Hyundai, I was there over 30 minutes, and not one single person came out to talk to me. Its not that I wanted a bunch of pushy salesman around, but seriously, nobody? Really?
So Friday rolls around, and The Lovely Steph Leann and I make plans to head out to just east of Birmingham, to the Roebuck/Center Point area--not the safest place to travel once night falls, but it was early in the evening, just after five pm.
Serra is a name attached to four or five dealerships along a stretch of Centerpoint Parkway, right next to each other--Serra Chevrolet, Serra Hyundai, Serra Kia, Serra everything else--and our plan was to go by Serra Hyundai. We have both been hearing on the radio "NEW HYUNDAIS FOR $8,000! WE HAVE TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE 2011s! GET A NEW HYUNDAI ACCENT FOR $7000! A NEW ELANTRA FOR $8000!" so we wanted to check it out... now, we are both realists, and we know that it cannot be quite simply "New Car for $8000", but it never hurts to investigate.
Worst case scenario, we come home with no new car, just the paid for cars we already own. Best cast scenario, we plop down $8 grand and I drive home with a brand new Hyunda Elantra. Its possible, even probable, that they were base models, so I told The Lovely Steph Leann we'd have to spend a little more on a radio... what is important to me is an iPod auxiliary jack. I want to be able to plug in my iPod or my iPhone and listen to it, be it a Harry Potter audiobook or Sara Bareilles' new CD, through the car speakers. Yes, I could toss in the CD into the CD player, provided it has one, but that's not the point.
Let's keep in mind, I haven't eaten yet. When I say that, I tell you that I've been at Starbucks at work from about 415am to about 130ish, and on my lunch break, I had to do two things--get tickets for Harry Potter (going the following night), get Melanie something (I told her I would grab her lunch) and get myself something. I had 30 minutes. I zipped down to Chick-fila to grab lunch, but realized I didn't have time to eat. When I eat Chick-fila, I have to doctor up my own sandwich, which takes about five minutes, which I had no time to spare, so I grabbed Melanie's food and then zipped down to the Rave to get tickets, which I did. And after I got off work, I had some errands to run and some other stuff to get done (Translation: I don't remember exactly what I did--it was two days ago) and when The Lovely Steph Leann got home, we jumped in the vehicle, her vehicle, and headed to Center Point. She had a late lunch, so she's not hungry. I'm getting kinda hungry.
Up 280, down I-450, onto I-59, then off to Roebuck Parkway, which turns into Center Point Parkway. The median length forces us to drive past Serra Hyundai, Serra Chevy and Serra KIA, but as I turn around the median, I told The Lovely Steph Leann I wanted to pull into KIA. She asked why, and I told her I wanted to look around. I mentioned that we could walk down to the Hyundai dealership, which is still our original destination. We stop, park, and start looking around. The Forte, the Optima, the Sorrento, the Rio and... The KIA Soul. A cherry red KIA Soul sitting on the end of the row. There was a white one there too, but it was white. And not red.
Its the commercials with the hamsters. Honestly, I remember the hamsters, but didn't connect it was a KIA commercial--or a car commercial, for that matter--until the sales guy mentioned in. Just sayin'.
A salesman comes out, introduces himself as Gene, and begins to tell us whats on sale. We do some looking around, ask some questions, answer some questions, and then the big question gets asked... whats our price range? Ah, that is the query, isn't it.
We look at a KIA Rio, which is a small, tiny four door car that I kinda like, and will do if need be. We take it for a test drive, it drives nice, but there are a few things I'm not excited about. The arm rest for instance--there is no middle console armrest, one that has a lid that you can put stuff in. There is an iPod auxiliary jack, but that's all the radio has to offer. The car is tiny. Of course, when we make it down to Serra Hyundai, the Accent and possibly the Elantra will be not much bigger, so I guess if I don't like the KIA Rio... well...
I will say the Rio drives fine. Its a good little car, it picked up quickly, it was comfy and I'm okay with small cars, because good gas mileage is important to me. With Toni Rocki Honda, I fill up once about every three weeks, though it helps that I live 3 miles from the store and also that we usually take The Lovely Steph Leann's Honda because its a more comfy ride.
We pulled back in and Gene asked us to run some numbers. He did the whole "Now, you don't have to commit to anything, I just want to see what I can do for you." The Serra salesman sell cars across all three dealerships, so he filled us in on the Hyundai $8000 deal... you have to buy two. And that was in the fine print, of course. Yeah, he could have been feeding us some Bantha Poodoo, but makes sense.
Finally, I ask to test drive the KIA Soul. He goes and gets the keys, and we pull out of the lot, a car with 31 miles on it. Its... its just cool. Its just fun. Its bright red, a color that I usually associate with 21 year old guys in Mustangs or convertibles to pick up chicks, and higher insurance rates, so I ask about other colors, and am assured that if I want this car, they'll get me whatever color I want. Of course they will, its a car dealership.
I've already done some research on the KIA Soul, and have liked what I'd seen... its quite safe, it holds appreciation well, its sporty, its not too expensive, its roomier than most cars of its kind and so on. And in driving it... its fun. I like this car. And this is not good, because this thing is brand new! This thing is costly! There's no way we're going to be driving away with a KIA Soul. The Lovely Steph Leann won't allow such a mockery of Dave Ramsey Justice! Right? Right?
I noticed something as we walked around a little afterwards... the KIA Rio is about $1200 more than the KIA Soul. So... if we wanted to get the Rio, which The Lovely Steph Leann liked, then... wouldn't the Soul make more sense? Its bigger... and cheaper?
Smashcut to a half hour later... we are sitting in Gene's little cubicle and he's in front of us, hands clasped, elbows on table, telling us that he wants us to drive off the lot in a new car. Of course he does. This is a car dealership.
The Lovely Steph Leann and I listen to his pitch, and both simply tell him, "No". It was too much. Too much down, too much in car payments, car payments that we were trying to avoid all together. He had written down the details on a piece of paper, and they only would pay $500 for Toni Rocki Honda, which was a travesty in my own mind. Sure, she needs a $1000 repair in air conditioning, but I am pretty sure I could get a grand for her on Craigslist or even the paper, but $500?
And I watch the car salesmen tricks unfold... "Okay, what if I do this? What if [crossing out the number 500 and writing in pen] we give you a $1000 [writing the number 1-0-0-0] for your Honda?" We say "No". "Okay, well what if I say you don't have to put this much down [crosses out the amount down] and you only put this much down [writes down another number] and we say "No".
He says, "Okay, let me go run some more numbers", and runs off to do a credit check, leaving The Lovely Steph Leann and I alone. We start chatting quietly about what we are going to do, and suddenly, getting a new car, the bright red KIA Soul, is a distinct possibility. A real possibility.
The Lovely Steph Leann is the budgeter in our family, the "Nerd", is Ramsey speak. I am the "Free Spirit", the one who spends a little more than he should, so I'm leaning on her, my wife, heavily to help me through this (isn't that the way it should be, really?). She says one single "No way, we can't do this", then I'm not going to fight her for it. I tell her straight up that there is a certain threshold of savings I want to keep in there, and no matter what, we don't go below that. She tells me what the reality is of our budget.
Gene comes back with another set of details and agreements. I smile and simply say, "Okay, man, listen... this is a great deal. We have talked about it, and we agree this is a great deal, but we just don't think we can do it. We weren't looking for car payments, we don't want to kill our savings and really, if we have to say yes or no at this very moment, we'd have to say 'no'." Gene tells us, "I understand. But let me just tell ya, we haven't sold a car today. I'm going to do what it takes to get you into this car." He gets up and runs out.
Gene comes back in, with the same piece of paper, folded over, with words written in Sharpie at the top, saying "XMAS COMES EARLY HO HO HO", with some details on the bottom. And the details are great. I ask Gene to give us a minute to discuss, and he agrees and leaves. The Lovely Steph Leann and I then go to work.
The questions begin... "Can we do it?"... "Do we want to take on a car payment, even for just a little while?"... "We can do it, but do we want to do it?"... "How will this affect how we live?"... "What do we do about Disney World in February, and for that matter, in two weeks?" We talk for about fifteen minutes or so, and The Lovely Steph Leann leans her head back, puts her hands in her hair and just say, "Aarrgghh... this is like buying the house all over again!"
I smile and say, "We either do it or we don't. I like the car, quite a bit. But I'm not bothered if we walk out of here without it. We deal with my Honda for a while, and then we can decide how much money to put into it. Or, we take the plunge, deal with it for a while, and have a reliable car for a long, long time. What do you think?"
Again, she says, "Aaargghh!" and then laughs uncomfortably. Gene comes back in and asks what we think, holding out the paper with a line on the bottom. Without saying much, The Lovely Steph Leann just leans over and signs the paper.
We just bought a car. Its an awesome car. Its a 2011 KIA Soul, complete with a bright red exterior, four doors, a hatchback, Sirius Radio, an iPod auxiliary jack, 31 miles when I drove it off the lot and, unfortunately, for the first time in over three years since we have been debt free, a car payment. Just don't tell Dave Ramsey.
The following events happend last weekend, as they are written, with very few embellishments. Some stuff you can't make up.
FRIDAY NIGHT
So, The Lovely Steph Leann and I are having dinner downtown, right? We were sitting with MZ and her family having some food at Chris Z's... its this restaurant down by St. Vincent's, and was recently voted to have the best burgers in the city by Birmingham Metro Magazine. And the Chris in Chris Z is the hubby of the Melanie in the MZ. And the burgers are outstanding.
First Friday of every month is Middle Eastern night, where you can get fish and kibbie and hummus and all kinds of other stuff that I usually don't eat much of.
Anyway, we are sitting at the table, about to enjoy our food, when The Lovely Steph Leann's phone rings. She answers, has a confused look on her face, then hangs up. Apparently, whoever they wanted wasn't The Lovely Steph Leann, and she couldn't hear them. Rings again, she tries to listen, and I hear her say, "I think you have the wrong number," and she hangs up.
The phone rang again, so she gets up and takes it outside. A minute or two later, she comes back to the table with a weird look on her face. I ask her who it was, and she just shakes her head like she doesn't know. She tells me it was a little weird. The phone rings again, and she picks it up and shows it to me. The screen says, "PRIVATE NUMBER."
The Lovely Steph Leann hands me the phone and asks me to please talk to whoever it is. I take it and flip it open and say, "Hello?" There is a gruff voice on the other end, probably ethnic (for all you libs, that's my politically incorrect way of saying though I cannot be sure, I'm strongly believing the guy was black based on his speech patterns, tones and voice influction) who says, "Yeah, I wanna speak to Stephanie."
I reply, "Well, she's not available right now. Can I ask who this is?" Suddenly, the voice on the other end begins to yell at me, using foul language and such, calling me a few names, and tell me I'm not her G-D answering machine. I ask again who this might be, and again, I get called a few choice names and such. I hang up.
MZ is looking at me funny, The Lovely Steph Leann is shrugging to me "I dunno..." and I just put the phone down. The phone rings again, so I grab it and walk outside. I answer with a "Hello?" and again, HomeSlice on the other end asks me for Stephanie, not calling her Lovely nor using "Leann". Or "The" for that matter. I ask "Stephanie who?", hoping against hope that perhaps he's looking for a Stephanie Jackson or a Stephanie Wayans or a Stephanie Winan... but no, he asks for her by full name. I'm a little concerned by this turn of events in the conversation.
I hang up and immediately call AT&T, our service provider. I get someone on the phone soon, and ask about how to block a call, or how to unmask a private number. I am told that if the number itself is private, they cannot block it. And they are not able to unmask it, and I'd have to go to a third party to do so. I ask if they can recommend a third party that would be reputable, and she suggests "TrapCall".
In the meantime, HomeSlice has called The Lovely Steph Leann's phone two more times. I go back inside and sit down, asking The Lovely Steph Leann to send it to voicemail if HomeSlice called again. He does and she sends it on to voicemail. And that's it for the night.
SATURDAY
The next day, I've got my first Saturday at home since like, late April or early May, and The Lovely Steph Leann and I head to a double feature... being avid movie goers, we were interested in "The Social Network" and "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps", so we got tickets for both, and had a good ol' time being together for the day. It was the first full Saturday I had off, and was able to spend at home (and by "Home", I mean just around here, not out of town somewhere) and frankly, I really enjoyed it.
We arrived home late afternoon, and I plopped in my customary recliner, turned on the 47" Big Screen Television, and then turned on what I knew would be the debacle of a football game, aka, Florida at Alabama. The Lovely Steph Leann was unloading her purse, and she glanced at her phone. She looked up at me, held up her phone, frowned and said, "Another one."
"What?" I asked, incredulously. "HomeSlice called you again?" "Yep." "Did he just call?" "Well..." she said slowly, "...they... they actually called twice in the movies and again a few minutes ago." "Were you not going to tell me this?" "I..." she stammered, "I... was going to tell you..." "Alright, we are getting online, and we are going to block this call, and we are going to find out who this cat is."
I logged onto the website recommended by the spokeschick from AT&T, and looked around. TrapCall is a site that will allow you, for $4.95, to hook up with a system to "unmask"--that is, find out who private numbers are--and then you can turn around and block that number from calling you. According to the website, they call once, you send them to voice mail. They call twice, their number shows up on your phone as "unmasked".
Log on, block their number and if and when they call back, they get a message that your number has been disconnected. I entered the information, did what I needed to do, sat back and though I didn't want HomeSlice to call again, I kinda wanted HomeSlice to call again, so I could learn the identity of a one Mr. Slice.
Not that I would know what to do if I did learn any numbers or names, but at least I'd know if my $4.95 investment paid off.
SUNDAY
Sleepy Sleepy Sleepysleepysleepysleepy (noise) sleepysleepysleepy (what's that noise?) sleepy sleep sleep drowsy drowsy (why is that noise noisy?) drowsy drowsy waking waking waking wake awake
"Wha..." I mumbled, eyes half open, arm hanging off the side of the bed. "hmphpaahhaaaa..." came the voice of The Sleepy Steph Leann a foot or so away from me.
The clock said 5:29am, and since my clock is ten minutes fast (yes, I'm one of those people), its five twenty o'clock in the blessed blue morning. I sense movement, sluggish and slow, but movement nonethless. The Groggy Steph Leann reaches for her phone, which is going off.
I am only slightly aware of it when the phone rings again, but become more alert as The Drowsy Steph Leann says, "Its our friend..." I lay there wondering who in the world would call at 5am. Is this a running joke? Is it some get-high weekend where you have to prank call pasty white chicks a dozen times with tales of lurid fantasies and delusions of grandeur? Would this guy even know what "granduer" meant? Probably not.
Either way, I was slightly worried. A little while went by before I could fall asleep again, and it felt all too soon when the alarm went off at 730. The Lovely Steph Leann was already up and moving around--I had KidStuff at 830, and she was coming along. She went to the bathroom to get into the shower, and I reached over for the iPhone.
I pulled up TrapCall on the mobile interweb and saw one name and number...
ANDREA WEATHERS (205) 567-0471
I pulled up the Blocked Number tag and set it up.
SUNDAY NIGHT
One of our baristas and his boo are having a baby.
So, Sunday night The Lovely Steph Leann and I are sitting in the home of MZ and her family, having some good laughs, eating some good food and just having those party, baby shower type conversations that you have at parties and baby showers.
The Lovely Steph Leann's phone rings. She reaches down amongst all the loud chatter, looks at it, frowns and hands it to me. "PRIVATE NUMBER." I just snatch it out of her hand, walk out of the room and answer it.
"Hello?" "Yeah, I need to talk to Stephanay..." "She is unavailable. Can I ask who is calling?" "Naw, I need me some Stephanay..."
When I ask again who it is, he says his name is "Dang-a-lang". He asks who I am. I let him know that he's talking to "Stephanay's" husband, to which he says, "Aw, you the one she be callin' when she done with me..."
Then he proceeds to fill in the next minute or so with a Cinemax'esque type description of how he and my own wife spend their time together. I say Cinemax, but at least Cinemax has the decency to pipe in Herman Beeftink music while the goings-on are going on.
Rather than the belligerent tone that HomeSlice had carried in earlier conversations, he was actually rather pleasant... well, his voice was, discounting the vulgarity of every word. Out of nowhere, there was a female voice in the background.
"Hey, HomeSlice... is that Andrea in the background? Andrea Weathers?" I asked politely. "Uh..." for the first time, he stammered a bit, seemingly a bit off guard. "Is that... Andrea? Uh... naw, that ain't no Andrea..." "And is this (205) 567-0741 you are calling from?" "Um, naw, this is... this is a pre-payin' phone..." HomeSlice said. "Tell you what, HomeSlice, since you obviously think that Stephanie and yourself have some sort of relationship, then she probably has your phone number. Which means, if she likes you, and wants to, she'll call you, okay?" "Uh..." "Give Andrea my best. Have a great evening, HomeSlice."
I hung up, a little worried and nervous. I mean, seriously, this guy knows The Lovely Steph Leann's full name, and hopefully that's all--but what else might he know? I hopped on the iPhone and texted my buddy Moderate Brad, the Official Clouds in My Coffee Ombudsman. We chatted for a few minutes about legalities, what is considered harassement, and what can be done.
And if it happens again, we'll deal with it.
Five days later, it hasn't happened. And I figured I would write about it, as the more time passes, it becomes more humorous than anything.
So, HomeSlice, if you are out there, please don't call again. And Andrea Weathers, phone number 205-567-0474, please tell your brother/father/son/cousin/baby daddy/etc to not call. Thanks.
The following conversation happened on Wednesday morning, approximately 8:35am
Mikey, in a text: Wanna go see the new Predators Friday night? Me, responding in a text: Absolutely. Mikey: Which theater works best for you? Me: Lee Branch if that's cool Mikey: 7:40 show? Dinner before? Me: There's a bunch of places around here. How about Zaxby's? Mikey: See ya there.
So Friday night, me and Mikey met up at Zaxby's Chicken Finger Establishment for a quick bite to eat, then drove across the Lee Branch Shopping Complex to the Rave Motion Picture Theater.
The film in question is a sequel to the 1987 Ahnald film, and opens up with our protagonists falling from the sky, parachuting down onto what turns out to be an alien planet. The concept is that a bunch of criminals are dropped onto this planet, and are hunted for sport by The Predators.
All the tokens are here, including Token Asian Yakuza Guy, Token Black Dude, Token Russian Gangster, Stereotypical Stupid American, Token Chick With Bad Accent and Token Mexican Dude... and in the leads, Adrien Brody as Token Tough Guy and Topher Grace as Token Fish Outta Water Guy.
By now, we all know about The Predator. It's this mean alien thing from another world who can camouflage itself, shoot lasery things from its shoulder and talks in clicking noises. Whether you've seen the original or not, you probably know about it at least..
...which is why some of the "charm", so to speak, is lost on this sequel. It will do, if you want it too, and its by far better than Predator 2, which joins a short list of films that most movie buffs agree do not actually exist except in myth--Rocky V, Caddyshack 2, Superman III and The Phantom Menace to name a few. I'm also figuring that Alien vs Predator shouldn't really exist either, though the first one was almost a guilty pleasure of crap.
Anyway, one by one, each Token dies until the big face-off at the end. I'm not telling you anything you can't figure out if you think about it, so don't feel like I'm giving the movie up for you. Laurence Fishburne makes his all-too-short appearance somewhere in the middle, and we are treated to a few different versions of Predators--though the original does make an appearance as well.
Adrien Brody is gruff, buff and almost hard to believe as the main guy, and Topher Grace is almost believable as a "what am I doing here?" guy, though towards the end you sense a twist coming, and you'd be right.
Overall, its loaded with F-bombs and campy alien violence (you know, heads blowing up, people losing appendages and spines, blood splattering), and unless you are the kind of person who likes seeing action flicks on the big screen, it can easily be a rental in October or November. Otherwise, a matinee will do just fine.
Bonus points, though, for the homage and shout out to the original during this one, and for the Token Asian Yakuza Guy's fight scene. He takes on a Predator in combat, and its all kinda awesome.
When I left the movie theater around 9:45, I decided I needed to see the original again. I stopped by Wal-Mart, hoping to find the Blu-Ray cheap, or better yet, the DVD in a $5 movie bin, but found neither. What I found was a combo pack of "Predator/The Terminator" for $20 or "Predator/Commando" for $20, and though I wouldn't have minded owning "The Terminator" or "Commando"(one of the Top Five Most Craptastic Movies Ever), I didn't want to shell out $20.
Smashcut to Sunday afternoon, having to drop by Staples for a few things, I decided to go to the nearby Best Buy and have a look-see for "Predator". The original DVD was $9.99 and it was pretty bare-bones with no special features or anything else. I found two versions of the Blu-Ray, the first being the basic for $19.99 and the next being "The Ultimate Hunter's Edition" for $24.99, but next to a sign that said "Ultimate Hunter's Edition -- $14.99". I took both to the register to see if maybe the regular was any cheaper, and it wasn't, still ringing up $19.99. I bought "The Ultimate Hunter's Edition" and brought it home.
The Lovely Steph Leann and I went to see "Despicable Me" this afternoon (great, great film) and as we were driving home, I said, "Ya know, I want to watch 'Predator' tonight." She grimaced at me, and I said, "Oh come on, I've watched enough Gilmore Girls to warrant this film." She agreed, and consequently, I haven't seen her in the last two hours.
The basic story is that Ahnald and a group of soldiers are dropped into the jungles of the fictional country of Val Verde(the same country that Ahnald goes to get his kidnapped daughter from in "Commando" and the same country that the terrorist is being deported from in Die Hard 2: Die Harder), only to find that something is stalking and killing them one at a time. Lots of F-bombs and lots of alien violence, like heads getting blown off and entrails being scattered hither and yon.
Anyway, its been years upon years since I've actually sat down and watched the original movie, and I gotta tell ya, my youth and memories may have romanticized how good this film actually is. Meaning, its not as awesome as I remember.
Perhaps that is just my expectations talking, or my sensitivity to bad special effects--when Dillion gets his arm blown off, the effect is borderline cheesy--or me wanting this film to be fabulous and it only being somewhat good. And it is in fact, somewhat good.
Here's what I marvel at, though. Seeing this movie for the first time as a kid was absolutely astounding. You don't see the Predator until the halfway mark, you only see the view through the thermal imaging they possess. You see a transparent figure running through the jungles and trees, and its truly awesome when you finally see his mask and armor. Then, when the Predator takes the mask off near the end, its even more awesome. This is all coming from a guy, by the way--my wife could care less about this movie.
Don't get me wrong, its a good film. Its original, its fun, its violent and its Arnold Schwarzenegger in his 80s action prime. The death scenes are ridiculously over the top, including a gruesome end for Billy in a style that was duplicated in the new movie. Just remember, this film is 1987 and things are a little more advanced movie-wise, so appreciate this for what it is.
By the way, this is totally different from "To Catch a Predator"...
...The Lovely Steph Leann and I just got home from dinner, as we met up with MZ and her reality show. We came back to The Cabana, and both of us just collapsed into our comfy leather couches. Flipped on the television, and scrolled through the endless parade of channels, all showing the same program: "nothing on". And what's on CMT? "Days of Thunder". And its just as bad as I remember it being.
Anyway, as promised, here's Tom Cruise's latest...
Saturday morning, I flipped open the newspaper and scanned the movies. Found out that The Rave Motion Picture Theater at Patton Creek was doing a sneak preview of "Knight and Day", the latest flick with Tom Cruise, also starring Cameron Diaz. Cruise and Diaz were together one time before, and that was in "Vanilla Sky", which would be Tom Cruise's worst movie ever, were it not for the existance of "Eyes Wide Shut".
Sent The Lovely Steph Leann a text, asked her if she wanted to go and she gave an enthusiastic "YES!" We had both been seeing the previews to this one for a month or two now, and had added it to our list of films for the summer we were intending on seeing... so I got off work, headed home, we left a few hours later for dinner at Dale's Southern Grill, and then around 7 walked into a half-packed theater. By the 730 showtime, the theater was almost completely full, albeit it was one of the smaller theaters.
The movie starts, and right away we are sucked into something that we'd been missing for a while, as mentioned in my previous post... we saw Fun Tom Cruise.
"Knight and Day" is a film with Cruise as a secret agent who has gone rogue, stealing something that is not only wanted by the government, but also terrorists. He runs into Diaz, though from the beginning of the film you can tell that he's been scoping her out for whatever his purposes are. Its a typical "things are not what they seem" movie, but really, you kinda know pretty quickly what things are. Its not a particularly hard-to-predict kind of film and much of the action is formula driven and cliches...
...however comma...
..this film was a winner for me based on the strength of Fun Tom Cruise and Quirky Cameron Diaz. Cam is not an actress that should ever try drama, she works better when she can be silly, stupid and let her freak flag fly... see "There's Something About Mary" or "Charlie's Angel".
They have good chemistry, and Fun Tom Cruise looks like he's actually having a great time making this movie. Cameron seems as if she's having a ball just being there, being relevant again (did you see "My Sister's Keeper"? Exactly.) The script is a little hokey, but The Lovely Steph Leann and I couldn't help but laugh through much of the movie. Yes, yes, its a fantastical premise, and some of the stuff that happens makes you think, "Uh... yeah... right..." but go with it.
Now, the critics aren't kind to this one. Its averaging a "C" score, or perhaps 2 out of 4 stars in some reviews, and its opening day (Wednesday, June 22nd) didn't do it much good either--it only came up with about $3.8 million, compared with the $13.4 million that Toy Story 3 did on the same day. (source: Box Office Mojo).
Anyway, this kind of reminds me of The A-Team, in that its just a fun popcorn movie. Don't take it seriously, catch it on a matinee, laugh and enjoy yourself and welcome back Fun Tom Cruise.
Alrighty... here's some more random movie reviews... this time, its "Just Wright", "Orphan", "Disaster Movie", "The Last House on the Left" and "Crazy Heart"
The Lovely Steph Leann loves movies, which is one of the million reasons I married her. The fact that I love movies too is one of the millions reasons she said yes to me, so together, we watch a lot of television and movies together. Sometimes, though, we just want to go to the moving picture show, and so we'll pick out a film and just go.
And a few nights ago, she up and says, "I kinda want to see that Queen Latifah movie." I looked at her funny, and replied, "You mean 'Just Wright', the one with Common?" She said, "Yeah. It looks like fun!"
So a day later, after a good dinner at Baha Burger, we were on our way to the Rave Motion Picture Theater at the Patton Creek Shopping Plaza, purchasing our ticket for "Just Wright", starring Queen Latifah, rapper Common and a few other names here and there.
"Just Wright" Okay... so the story goes that Common is Scott McKnight, an NBA superstar with the New Jersey Nets, runs into Leslie Wright (Latifah), invites her to a party and ends up falling for the, unbeknownest to Scott, gold-digging yet still good at heart childhood best friend and current roommate Morgan (Paula Patton). When Scott gets severly injured, Morgan leaves him, and he falls into the hands of Leslie, who is a renowned physical therapist, to try to salvage his career. Well, Scott gets better, Morgan comes back and things are not happy times for Leslie.
Much as I hated to say it, but I actually kinda enjoyed this film. Don't get me wrong, this film will be nowhere near The Dave100, or even The Dave1000, but its an decent way to spend 90 minutes at the movies. The problem was not only this movie being predictable, but the trailer giving away the entire plot.
However, this movie has a few things in its favor... first, Latifah and Common are both very likable in this movie. Both roles are not very hard, so both have lots of room to wiggle in this. Its fun to see Mrs. Huxtable playing what she does best--loving mom who isn't afraid to tell you what she thinks. Also, Paula Patton is the "villain", even though she's not really a villain at all... she's not all that likable, but she does have a very final scene. And in one scene, where she is told to "get out", a few of our darker skinned brothers and sisters hooted and hollered, and one stood up and clapped.
The Lovely Steph Leann and I both laughed, and I whispered, "I'm guessing its like that at a Tyler Perry movie, huh?"
Anyway, the final reason I liked this film is simply... its clean. Very, very little language (a few "damns" and I think one "bull****"), no violence at all, other than aggresive play on the basketball court, and as far as sexual situations, there's one single scene where you know Leslie and Scott did the deed, but its the next morning and they are lying in bed looking at each other, completely covered by sheets. I can deem this movie completely Emmy Turnbow Safe. Its a good first date movie.
By no means spend $20 on this film, unless you are in fact on a date. At best, catch a matinee, wait for the $1 theater, or get the DVD or watch it online this summer when it will probably come out. For now, The Lovely Steph Leann will be stocking up on Common CDs.
“Orphan” Okay... so Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard have two kids, an older son and a younger deaf daughter, and since they lost their third child in delivery, they decide to adopt. And they get this 9 year old Russian kid named Esther who is really just a mean, mean kid.
Bottom line, this movie is pretty terrible. Best thing about it? Only thing about it? Vera Farmiga. This movie is a great example of why The Lovely Steph Leann and I will be very cautious about adopting any Russian children. Especially those named Esther. Or Leena Klammer.
"Disaster Movie" Okay... so this movie is awful. I didn't get all the way through it, not only because it was so terrible, but because it was so terrible I didn't want to spend more than the 40 minutes on it than I did. I laughed not one single time. There is a reason that, as of June 10th, it was the 23rd worst movie of all time according to the IMDb Bottom 100.
Okay... so, based on the 1972 film directed by Wes Craven, this flick stars Tony Goldwin and Monica Potter as parents of Mari, played by Sara Paxton, who are vacationing at a lake house. Mari meets a chick named Paige, and they end up going with a guy named Justin to his hotel room (warning, warning, danger Will Robinson, danger!) to smoke some wacky weed... Justin's family comes home, they are absolutely insane, as well as escaped convicts, so they do some horrible stuff to Mari, including leave her for dead.
The rainstorms come in and the insane criminals, as well as Justin, seek refuge in a nearby lake house currently being used by... Tony Goldwin and Monica Potter, who take them in as a good samaritan act! Go figure! Anyway, Mari crawls back to her house, and they figure how the insane criminals that did this to their daughter are... staying in their home!!!
This plot sounds ridiculous, but I have to be honest with ya... I didn't dislike this movie nearly as much as I thought I would. Actually, I thought it wasn't that bad. It might have been the veteran presence of Tony Goldwin (Ghost, The Pelican Brief) and Monica Potter (Con Air, Saw) that gave it a little bit of credibility, but this movie doesn't try to be anything other than what it is--a nonsensical popcorn flick that is good for a random afternoon when you are flipping channels and nothing else is on. Don't go buy it. Don't spend money to rent it, unless you can get it on Netflix... actually, no, don't even do that. That takes effort. But if you see it's on tv, watch a for a few.
There is lots of language, violence and a rape scene, though that part is thankfully not graphic.
"Crazy Heart" Okay... so, as I pointed out with Robert Downey Jr in "Iron Man", there are some actors who are just irreplaceable. You take him out and plop someone else in that role, and "Iron Man” is not nearly as good or even the same movie, and the same with Denzel in “The Book of Eli”… Heath Ledger is definitely irreplaceable in “The Dark Knight”. Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart” is like that.
The story is rather formulaic, with Jeff Bridges playing country legend Bad Blake, a guy who has fallen on drunken times lately. He tours bars and bowling alleys, performing to get a few bucks here and there, spending much of it on booze. Things change, though, when he meets a small town reporter Jane (Maggie Gyllenhaal), who ends up falling for him and all his flaws.
Of course, it’s not as easy as Country Bad Boy meets Good Girl and happily ever after… never is. Things happen, both good and bad, and Bad Blake’s story of redemption is told. My issue with the film is that I just didn’t see the chemistry between Jane and Bad Blake—as in, what is a pretty 30-something single mom doing falling for a 50-something, overweight, aged and withered old man? Its possible, for sure, but the love story presented in the film didn’t make me believe it, but maybe it just happened too quickly. Don’t get me wrong, Maggie Gyllenhaal is great, as she always is, but the romance part of the story is just a little out there.
What is to be marveled, though, is Jeff Bridges. His performance as a broken down, filled-with-regret country artist who used to be someone great is breathtaking and completely believable. When he won the Oscar for Best Actor for this picture, I know there were some people who thought it might have been a “lifetime award” rather than for the merits of this film, but having seen it, I’d totally disagree… he deserved it this time around.
Also making an appearance is Colin Farrell, playing Tommy Sweet, an up and coming country star that was mentored by Bad Blake—and now is by far more successful, much to Bad Blake’s chagrin. Farrell is good in his role, and isn’t needed more than the brief times he’s shown, and there’s a great appearance by Robert Duvall who himself played a troubled country artist in the film Tender Mercies , for which he won the Best Actor Oscar—never seen “Tender Mercies”, its on my movie to do list, which is probably in the thousands by now.
The movie has lots of drinking (the main character is an alcoholic), a did-not-show-them-doing-it-but-you-know-they-did scene and lots and lots of language. Its worth a viewing, though not one I’ll watch repeatedly.
Let's face it... Tim Burton may or may not be a weird guy, but his work is definately out there... let's discuss his biggest hits, and my favorites of his work...
"Pee Wee's Big Adventure" (1985)... Most people now recognize Paul Reubens as Pee Wee Herman and automatically associate him with that, ahem, adult men's theater incident, but back in the 80's, he was a rockstar. This movie was quirky, it was an oddity, and it was absolutely hilarious.
"Beetlejuice" (1988)... Michael Keaton went from Mr. Mom to an absolute genius in this flick, again, a really odd, but absolutely fantastic dark comedy.
"Batman" (1989)... Before "The Dark Knight", before the franchise became a joke in "Batman & Robin", there was Tim Burton's first movie, with Michael Keaton, fresh off of "Beetlejuice", being the most unlikely Bruce Wayne--and perhaps the best until Christian Bale. But, let's be honest, Jack as The Joker is what everyone remembers.
"Edward Scissorhands" (1990)... Tim Burton's first real collaboration with Johnny Depp was very unusual. It was a love story... with knives for fingers.
"Mars Attacks!" (1996)... After "Independence Day" a few years prior, this film was timed perfectly. A campy send-up of alien invasion flicks featuring Jack Nicholson as the President, uttering the classic line "I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad." Oh, and if you don't know who Slim Whitman is, you will after seeing this film.
To say that the Tim Burton vision of "Alice in Wonderland" is strange is not a stretch. Its a strange, strange movie. Its a strange, colorful, imaginative journey that doesn't so much re-tell the story of Alice in Wonderland as much as it expands and continues the story.
It begins with a now 19 year-old Alice who only remembers her journey through the land she knows as Wonderland as a dream that she keeps having night after night. Alice is bossed around by her mom and her potential dorkface suitor, much like Rose DeWitt Bukater was before running around the ship with Jack Dawson, and ends up running away from it all... right into a rabbit hole.
You are immediately re-introduced to the characters, or a close image of what you think those characters are. I would imagine that most people's concept of Alice and characters like Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the March Hare, the White Rabbit and of course, the Mad Hatter are from the Disney animated film, not necessarily from Lewis Carroll's two books, that being "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass"... that's my perspective because I have seen the 1951 Disney film and have never read the books at all.
Tim Burton's characters in this story somehow have backstories, and some of them even have real names other than "Caterpiller" and "Mad Hatter" and "Red Queen". Alice finds them, and they tell her that because of a... well, a prophecy of sorts... she has to face a creature called The Jabberwocky (also known as a poem written by Lewis Carroll about a creature of the same name), slay said creature and order will be restored to the land--ie, everyone will stop following the Red Queen, played in essence by Helena Bonham Carter, aka Tim's boo, and start following her sister, The White Queen, played dreamily by Anne Hathaway.
The story itself is fine, the plot is somewhat silly, even for a movie that is sort of supposed to be silly, and Danny Elfman's score really kind of underwhelms you. That being said, I had a good time with it. Much of Underland (which is the real name for Wonderland) is done in CGI, and I enjoyed many of the characters in a way that I had not really gotten to know them in the original animated film. Remember, in that version, Alice goes from scene to scene to scene, with some characters to not be seen again, while here, most of the characters remain throughout the entire movie. Burton himself said he never felt a emotional connection to other film adaptations and always thought it was a some girl wondering around from one crazy character to another. So with this, he attempted to create a framework, an emotional grounding, which he felt he never really had seen in any version before. He said that was the challenge for him - to make Alice feel like a story as opposed to a series of events.
Anyway, to finish up the plot, there's the big creature named Jabberwocky, and the Red Queen screamed "off with your head!" alot, and for some reason there is a battle at the end that doesn't last long and... well, you'll just have to see it to make any sense out of the silliness.
Maybe the weakest link in the entire movie is Alice herself, played by relative newcomer Mia Wasikowska. She does Alice very subdued, almost too quiet, possibly in an effort to play up the fact that Alice spends much of the movie assuming she's dreaming everything. I almost wanted her to be more... well, vocal. A little louder, a little more surprised by the things she found, a little less whiny when presented with things she had to face.
Crispin Glover, the dad from "Back to the Future" and known in Hollywood as a very weird guy, played Stayne, the Knave of Hearts and 2nd in command to the Red Queen and he was brilliant.
Of course, the star of the film? Johnny Depp. Much ado had been made about his Mad Hatter costume and performance, and really, love him or hate him, Depp delivers, no matter who he is playing. And here is no different. Hair like Bozo the Clown, gapped teeth, wide-eyed and strange accent that wavers between British, Scottish and Nonsensish, Depp immerses himself into The Mad Hatter in a way that you'd never imagine from the original Disney film.
I liked the film overall, and in many ways, I think I liked it better than the 1951 animated version. That one was okay, it was a bit trippy for my tastes, and to me, Tweedledee and Tweedledum whole scene in that one was... well, ridiculous. In this Tim Burton version, I loved T'dee and T'dum, I loved their accents, I loved the way they were presented onscreen, I loved the interaction between them, it was great.
Perhaps its not really fair to compare the animated version with this one, as it is so completely different, but I guess there were just more things about this one I liked. I always like Anne Hathaway in anything that doesn't include "Royal Engagament" or "Brokeback Mountain", and the voice cast was stellar. Listen up for Alan Rickman's voice here too.
Oh, and I loved the cards. Again, the movie was a bit too much CGI'y for me, but the Card Guards were great.
The Lovely Steph Leann and I ended up watching it in 3D, not because we thought it would be worth it in 3D--it wasn't, I would suggest all of you go see it in 2D and save about $4 per ticket... but because the 3D version not only had the new Toy Story 3 trailer, but also the new trailer for "Tron Legacy". And if you think I wasn't as giddy as Brad Latta at a Dubya War Crimes hearing, you'd be wrong.
By the way--and I speak to all those 30 and up... was there a cooler movie when you were a little kid than "Tron"? And to think, here's a sequel coming, one that has real potential. Did you know that Walt Disney World is going to put a light cycle overlay on its monorails this fall, in promotion of the movie?
I think I need to go find the original "Tron" and watch it again. Just not tonight. I'm tired. That's why this review rambled everywhere...
For all you kids who think the interweb has been around forever, here's the trailer from the original movie in 1982... cheesy as it might look, remember back then, this was revolutionary.
