Robert Pattinson Drops the F-Word on MTV Music Awards - Video

Twilight star Robert Pattinson cleaned up at the MTV Music Awards last night.

But he the networks steaming when the censors couldn’t get to the bleep button fast enough.

Pattinson was on stage with Chelsea Handler presenting the MTV Generation Award to Reese Witherspoon when he dropped the F-Bomb on live television.

While this is not a totally unexpected event at the MTV Awards, but the network was slow to catch it and it broadcast the F-word live on the East Coast feed. A network rep said,

"It was unexpected, and was a technical glitch in not catching it. It won’t be in West Coast feed or any repeats."

Robert was talking to Reese about their first movie together where Witherspoon played his mother and the director’s cut out many of his scenes.

When talking about their collaboration in “Water for Elephants”, Pattinson said, “In this movie I played your lover. I didn’t cut you out but I did f**k you.”



Witherspoon told the audience later in the evening that today’s young Hollywood actors don’t need to release sex tapes and nude photos to find success, and that “Being Good” is okay and said more celebs should think about that.

Kudos Reese, and congrats on the big award.

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Play Counts Count

I'll admit, I'm quite the nerd.  Some people would call it OCD, but I would say SOCD, which is Selective Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... I don't obsess about much, but I'm very picky about what I obsess about... its almost like, I know whats important to me, how important it is to have things done the way I want the done... but only about certain things that sometimes no one else cares about.

Case in point... iTunes. 

iTunes has this thing called a "play count", which is both a blessed and cursed thing.  In my mind, once I play a song, I want it counted.  Once I listen to a song, I want it noted... it truly doesn't mean a hill of beans to anyone in the entire world that I've listened to "Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon 34 times, or that I've fired up the original "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley 8 times. 

But its important to me.  I dunno why, and I really am not sure I care to psycho-analyze, but that's just one of those quirky, nerdy things about me.  We'll come back to this, but first I have to give a bit more exposition, then tie it all together at the end like a good little storyteller.

Yesterday, I finally purchased a portable hard drive.  We've owned a regular external hard drive for about three years, and backs up most of what is on my, and The Lovely Steph Leann's, computers.  For me its music, audiobooks and pictures, for her its mostly pictures and Creative Memories back-up files... but the problem is, its so clunky and bulky.  In the Casa de Pesos apartment, it wasn't a big deal, because our place was so small, we just kept our PC and the back up drive and such altogether, and even when we got laptops, they mostly just stayed in the guest bedroom.  I could write and blog and do whatever, and with a television in the room, I could still watch whatever, or play a movie or anything of the like. 

When we got The Cabana, though, it was harder, because we kept the back-up drive upstairs, and the laptops stayed downstairs mostly, so I didn't back up much stuff, just every now and then.  With my growing love (and ear) for audiobooks, I finally had to move them off of my laptop because I had gotten to the point where I had less than 10gb of space (off of 300gb).  It took almost 2 hours, but I moved almost 80gb of audiobooks onto the harddrive, plus a few movies and some other space-taking items. 

Now, for anyone who owns an iPod, you'll notice that if you try and sync your iPod, and you've moved some files, a little "!" will appear by those files.  And when those files are on an entirely different drive altogether, its even worse, because you get a hundred or two of those "!" when they are audiobooks.  So, I now have a set up on our dining room table, this external hard drive to my left, cords and USB cables running everywhere and anywhere, and like, four things plugged into the nearby outlet.  Thus, the need for a portable hard drive.

So I'm currently moving, from the external to the portable, over 100 audiobooks, encompassing 32,000+ files (the Harry Potter series alone contains at least 1,500 tracks), which makes up about 140gb of space.  I have another 60gb of pictures to move over.  And at some point, in the future, I'll move over all my music from my laptop to the portable hard drive.

And now, we get back to play counts.  See, when I move over the music, I have to reload all songs back into iTunes.  And when I do, all play counts go back to zero.  Everyone.  So me listening to Nilsson's "I Guess the Lord Must Be In New York City" 29 times?  Its like it didn't happen.

However, don't think I haven't considering recreating all the playcounts.  Easy, really... click on a song, click "repeat" twice (which makes the song repeat) and then click on the end over and over.  It will advance from beginning to end, then start over.  Yes, this is a really stupid, useless thing to do.  Yes, there are far better uses of my time.  Yes, I've thought about it.  We'll see.

Play counts are a funny thing... it kinda tells you and the world what you truly like.  My official Top Five list of songs are: (1) "Possession" by Sarah McLachlan... (2) "I'd Die Without You" by PM Dawn... (3) "Piano in the Dark" by Brenda Russell (ft. Joe Esposito)... (4) "Not the Only One" by Bonnie Raitt... (5) "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears.  Coming in a close 6th is "Say Say Say" by Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson.

Other songs that have wandered their way in and out of my Top Ten including "Let Her Cry" by Hootie and the Blowfish... "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton... "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney and Wings... "Hazy Shade of Winter" by The Bangles and "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John....

But you know what?  Out of those 11 songs I just listed, none are in my Top Ten of the Play Count List, and only one is in the Top Twenty, at 19th.  So, I thought it might be fun to list my Top Fifty Songs on the Play Count List, the songs that have been played the most.  Bear in mind, too, that I listen to a ton of podcasting and audiobooks, so music isn't my top priority most of the time, but sometimes, you just wanna hear Timberlake, or Flo Rida or Billy Joel or Bill Withers...

So, here we go...  Song, artist, and (play count)

There is a huge six way tie at 50, featuring...
50-tie.  Running From an Angel by Hootie & the Blowfish (34)
50-tie. Clarity by John Mayer (34)
50-tie. 3AM by Matchbox 20 (34)
50-tie. Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon (34)
50-tie. Welcome to Delaware by Watermark (34)
50-tie. White & Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic (Video) (34)

All the way down to #40 is another tie or two, featuring the only song that appears twice in our countdown, in both audio and video versions.  Also, The Dixie Chicks make their first of three appearances.
48-tie. Cowboy Take Me Away by The Dixie Chicks (35)
48-tie. Sunday Afternoon by Joel Blount (35)
40-tie. ...And Our Feelings by Babyface (Video) (36)



40-tie. Only the Good Die Young by Billy Joel (36)
40-tie. Close of Autumn by Caedmon's Call (36)
40-tie. The Trolley Song by Judy Garland (36)
40-tie. Taylor, the Latte Boy by Kristin Chenoweth (36)
40-tie. B.O.B. by OutKast (36)
40-tie. Light My Candle by Mimi and Roger from The Cast of Rent (36)
40-tie. You Mean the World To Me by Toni Braxton (36)

The next set of ten, down to a four way tie at #31...
39. I'll Be Okay by Amanda Marshall (37)
36-tie. Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers (38)
36-tie. In the Light by dcTalk (38)
36-tie. Possession by Sarah McLachlan (38)
35. Snow (Hey Oh) by The Red Hot Chili Peppers (39)
31-tie. Full Moon by Brandy (40)
31-tie. Callin' Baton Rouge by Garth Brooks (40)
31-tie. The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson (40)
31-tie. The Remedy (I won't worry) by Jason Mraz (40)

The next ten are all older songs, anywhere from five to fifteen to thirty...
26-tie. Let's Stay Together by Al Green (41)
26-tie. Still Not a Player by Big Punisher with Fat Joe (41)
26-tie. The Story by Brandi Carlile (41)
26-tie. My My My by Johnny Gill (41)
26-tie. Chains by Tina Arena (41)
24-tie. You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift (41)
24-tie. Say It Right by Nelly Furtado (Video) (41)
23. Season of Love by The Cast of Rent (43)
21-tie. Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World by Israel Kamakawio'ole (45)
21-tie. The Light In Your Eyes by Blessid Union of Souls (45)

And our teens part of the countdown gives us another helping of The Chicks, an obscure but incredible song by Jill Paquette and of course, Cool J.
19-tie. My Favorite Mistake by Sheryl Crow (46)
19-tie. I'd Die Without You by PM Dawn (46)
17-tie. Tortured Tangled Hearts by The Dixie Chicks (47)
17-tie. Drops of Jupiter by Train (47)
15-tie. Sin Wagon by The Dixie Chicks (48)
15-tie. Lift My Eyes by Jill Paquette (48)
13-tie. Crazy by Gnarls Barkley (49)
13-tie. I May Hate Myself in the Morning by Lee Ann Womack (49)
11-tie. Loungin' (who do you love) by LL Cool J (50)
11-tie. If I Ever Lose My Faith in You by Sting (50)

Before we get to the Top Ten, I wanted to give you a list of ten songs that, were I to do this same column in a year two, you'd probably see some of them appear in this very list, maybe because they are new and I listen to them frequently now or because they were just outside the top fifty and have gotten some recent love from my playlist... they include "Hey Soul Sister" by Train... "Travelin Soldier" by The Dixie Chicks... "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John... "Relator" by Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson... "You Give Good Love" by Whitney Houston... "Better in Time" by Leona Lewis... "Right Round" by Flo Rida... "I Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum... "Everything Zen" by Bush... and, of course... "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus

Now, here's the Top Ten... a little eclectic, but a little predictable all the same...
10. Collide by Howie Day (53)... I cannot even name another Howie Day song.  But I love this one.  I told The Lovely Steph Leann if I played guitar and could sing, this would be part of my set.

9. ...And Our Feelings by Babyface (54)... This is a perfect song to sing while driving.  My vocals get nowhere near the level of Babyface, but that doesn't mean I don't try.

7-tie. How to Save a Life by The Fray (55)... This and their other big song, perhaps one of the biggest, most awesome one-two song punches ever. 

7-tie. You and I Both by Jason Mraz (55)... Its a great video, its a great song, and its also fun to sing.  And the lyrics are easier to learn than "The Remedy".

6. My Boo by Usher (ft Alicia Keys) (56)... I was a little surprised when I did this list how far up this list that "My Boo" ended up.  But I'm perfectly okay with it.

5. Wildwood Flower by Reese Witherspoon (57)... I bought the "Walk the Line" soundtrack, and I'll be honest, I listened to this song non-stop.  When I first got my iPod, I remember this song being the first one to 20 plays ever. 

4. Fergalicious by Fergie (Video) (58)... Fine.  I'll admit it.  I like this song, and this video is fun.  I would venture to guess that 40 of the plays were done within a year of it being released.

3. Love Song by Sara Bareilles (59)... If I could use the Billboard Charts term "with a bullet" on my own little list, than I would use it here with this song.  I wouldn't be shocked to see this become number one in the near future, because I am completely addicted to this song.



2. Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake (61)... What can I say?  Timberlake is cool.  The song is cool. 

1. Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray (63)... Again, I'm not entirely sure how this song got so high, number one in fact, but I make no apologies.  It is a song that I could listen to non-stop (and have) and not get tired of (I haven't).

So what about you?  Does your list of favorite songs and your actual play counts tell two different stories?

The Golden Globe Sunday Evening

So there are your Golden Globe awards for another year.  I'll be back in a few days with more Idol, and another few installments of our Top 100 Coolest Things of the Year...

11:41p... Ricky Gervais appears once more, thanks the crowd, does one more shill for his TV show... and thats it.  There are the Golden Globes, short (3 hours doing movies AND television) and sweet. 

11:37p... Julia Roberts is out here to give away the award for Best Picture.  It's "Avatar", which now has the momentum to carry it to the Oscars for Best Picture.  Sigh.

11:31p.. Ah, Kate Winslet.  I love me some Kate Winslet.  Here's Best Actor in a Drama... one of the nominees is the President of The Lovely Steph Leann's Colin Firth Club, Colin Firth.  He doesn't win, though... it goes to Jeff Bridges for "Crazy Heart"... and its awesome, because the entire room is giving him a standing ovation. 

"You are really tearing up my under-appreciated status here," he says.  He then calls out "my beautiful wife... get a shot of her!"  Then sends a nod to his dad, the late, great Lloyd Bridges.  Jeff is one of those actors who you never think about how good he is, and then you realize how much awesome stuff he's been in... "Tron"... "Starman"... "The Fabulous Baker Boys"... "Iron Man"... "The Last Picture Show"... "Surf's Up"... and of course, "The Big Lebowski"... great career. 

11:28p... Some chick who's name I missed is doing Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical.  And the winner?  Another shocker... Robert Downey Jr in "Sherlock Holmes".  Really?  Well... he made that film what it was... and he gives the best speech of the night, slightly edging Drew Barrymore just for comedy content...

11:24p... Mickey Rourke's Corpse comes out wearing a terrible hat and terrible suit, to give away Best Actress in a Drama.  The winner?  Sandra Bullock for "The Blind Side"... wow... seriously, didn't see that coming at all.  The Lovely Steph Leann screamed again.  Hey, I'm not saying she didn't earn it, but wow... I really thought it would be one of those "your reward is being nominated" for Sandy... but rock on. 

Also... Mickey looked like he threw up in his mouth a little when he announced Sandy Bullock winning.  Here is a pic of Mickey before the plastic surgery (inset) and the after shot. 

11:22p... Ah-nald is out to introduce "Avatar" as a Best Picture nominee, takes a dig at NBC ("the only way that James Cameron would make more money is if he were hired by NBC... then fired by NBC"). 

11:20p... Is anyone else as NOT stoked about the Winter Olympics as I am? 

11:20p... Uh... Mike Tyson is standing onstage, a part of a group who just won a Golden Globe Award for a movie, the same stage that Mo'Nique stood on after winning an acting award of her very own.  I'm not joking. 

11:19p... And Ashley Judd Club member Reese Witherspoon is out to give away Best Picture Comedy or Musical.  How great would this be if "The Hangover" won?   AND IT WINS!!!!  THAT IS SO AWESOME!!! 

11:18p... The guys from "The Hangover", including Mike Tyson, are out to introduce their own movie... this movie is awesome.

11:15p... Jack Bauer and Olivia Wilde come out to give away the award for Best Comedy or Musical TV Series.... The Lovely Steph Leann might go postal if "Glee" doesn't win... or she might do the same if it does win.  Dunno.  There are a thousand people onstage, including Jayma Mays (left).

The winner?  "Glee".  The Lovely Steph Leann just screamed loudly.  The blood that is slowly trickling from my right ear I'm sure will dry on my wife-beater t-shirt.

11:09p... Jodie Foster comes out and introduces "The Hurt Locker", an awesome, amazing movie.  Ricky Gervais, beer in hand, says, "Cheers."  Then he says, "If I offended anyone, its the beer... I love to drink as much as the next man... unless the next man is... Mel Gibson..."

Mel Gibson is here to introduce the Best Director nominees.  I miss Fun Mel Gibson.  When he's not going off on cops and fathering children with nannies, he's a great guy to watch.  The winner?  James Cameron for "Avatar".  I was expecting Kathryn Bigelow for "The Hurt Locker", but I'm kinda wondering if this is a foretelling of whats to come at Academy Awards night--Cameron winning, and "Avatar" winning Best Picture, which I'm totally opposed to... not that they will ask my opinion.

10:56p... And here is the CC DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement, which usually takes about 20 minutes.  This one goes to Martin Scorsese.  They do a pan shot to Brenden Fraser.  Who invited that guy?

Anyway, let's talk about the movies Scorsese has done... "Goodfellas"... "Aviator"... "Raging Bull"... "Taxi Driver"... "The Color of Money"... "The Departed"... "Cape Fear"... "Casino"... "Gangs of New York"... even his crap, like "Bringing Out the Dead" was good crap.  For what its worth, I lift my coffee cup to you, Marty Scorsese.

10:52p...  Ricky Gervais digs on Halle Berry in "Catwoman" before bringing her out.  I will always like Halle Berry, if only because she actually showed up at The Razzie Awards to accept her Worst Actress Award for "Catwoman".  The Best Supporting Actor goes to... Christoph Waltz for "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children", which I predicted, because he was amazing in that movie.   As he gets his award from Halle, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "She's thinking 'please don't kiss me!'"

10:49p... Supporting Actress in TV Series, Mini Series or Movie.  "Glee"'s Jane Lynch is nominated, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I'm gonna be so mad if 'Glee' doesn't win anything!"  Well, get mad, cause the chick from "Big Love" won.  The Lovely Steph Leann shouts, "Dang it!" 

10:48p... Team Jacob comes out, much to the delight of a million and four girls age 14 and under, to introduce "(500) Days of Summer".  I liked it.  I didn't love it.  It was cute, but it wasn't the brilliant film that I was hearing about from everyone... though its use of "You Make My Dreams Come True" by Hall and Oates might be brilliant in in of itself.

10:44p... Amy Poehler and Zack Levi come out to introduce Best Series Drama, including "Dexter", "Big Love", "House", "Mad Men" and "True Blood"... the winner?  "Mad Men".  I've seen one episode of this show, and I'm already hooked.  I'm totally getting the DVDs. 

10:39... The baddest mofo on the planet, Samuel L. Jackson, is here to introduce "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children", which is in my top ten movies of the year.  He then introduces Sophia Loren as a "real, live movie star", and she gets a standing ovation.  She looks great for 113 years old.  Those glasses are horrific, though.  "That is a shame," The Lovely Steph Leann comments.

She's here to introduce Best Foreign Language Film... Baaria... Broken Embraces... The Maid... Un Prophete... and The White Ribbon from Germany, which is going to win... and... and... and... it does.  Its about kids on the eve of some day in World War II.  That's got Oscar all over it. 

Of course, wouldn't it be interesting to see "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children"--about Nazi killing Jews--and "The White Ribbon"--about German kids in World War II--go head to head. 

10:38p... Maggie Gyllenhaal reminds us to give to Haiti.  She looks ghastly. 

10:36p... Jennifer Garner, who is probably not nominated for "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past", and Ashton Kutcher, who is probably not nominated for anything, is giving out Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical--The Lovely Steph Leann claps when the guy from "Glee" is announced as a nominee.  Alec Baldwin wins, but is nowhere to be found, as he's off doing charity for the Haitian Nation.

10:33p... Ricky Gervais introduces "Rachel from Friends and that bloke from 300"... So Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston come out to give away Best Screenplay.   A huge catagory, all five great movies... the winner is Jason Reitman for "Up in the Air"... my favorite film from 2009.  I admit it.

10:31p... Cameron Diaz comes out and says, "THIS is the film where Meryl Streep DOES sleep with Alec Baldwin".   She's referring to "Its Complicated", of course.  Cameron Diaz hasn't been pretty or talented since the first "Charlie's Angels" movie.  Just sayin'.

10:28p... Me: So you don't like Drew's dress, huh?   The Lovely Steph Leann: NO!   Drew gives a shout out to Mo'Nique... and then gives the most honest, best, most genuine speech of the entire night.  She's flustered, she's fumbling, she's speaking 90 to nothing...  Rock on, Drew Barrymore.

Drew Barrymore:  I'm humbled and honored

The Lovely Steph Leann:  What is that thing on her hip?  Like, its bad enough on her shoulder... but her hips too?

10:24p... The "Avatar" costars are out to do the Best Actor in TV Movie or Mini-Series.  Winner?  Kevin Bacon for "Taking Chance", a movie that I had on DVR for about six months... then deleted without watching.  He was also nominated for... "The River Wild", back in the 90's, also starring... Meryl Streep.

And while we are at it, Best Actress in a TV Movie or Mini-Series.... I want Drew Barrymore to win, so The Lovely Steph Leann will go off again about Drew's dress.  The winner is... Drew Barrymore for "Grey Gardens"!  She was my favorite bad girl back in the 90s... and its her first Golden Globe win.  That's just awesome...

10:22p... Could Helen Mirran be the most attractive 83 year old in the history of the world?  Seriously.  She always looks so, so classy and uppity.  She introduces "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire".  Now I'm depressed.

10:18p... Ricky Gervais makes a drunk Irish joke, then introduces Colin Firth, who introduces the Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical.  The winner goes to... Meryl Streep for "Julie & Julia"... yay!  The Tuch looks on, and seems proud.  The Lovely Steph Leann was rooting for Sandy Bullock in "The Proposal".

I notice that as Meryl Streep talks, the music doesn't play.  The band director is asking the show director "Do I start?" and the show director is saying, "Are you kidding?  This is Meryl Streep.  DO NOT cut off Meryl Streep..."

10:15p...  Tom Hanks:  "I'm here to introduce the movie that features Meryl Streep, and in this one she doesn't end up in bed with Alec Baldwin, but instead ends up in bed with Stanley Tucci, a step up..."  Its "Julie & Julia", which was a great film, featuring the aforementioned Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and a great turn by Meryl Streep.   

10:10p... Yay!  Its Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with!  The Lovely Steph Leann said, "Is she pregnant?" and I said, "Yes, but its not mine, I promise."  I got an eye roll.  Anyway, the nominees for best TV Movie or Mini Series.  The winner is "Grey Gardens", and whoever got up to accept the award turned her back to the camera, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oh no!  That dress is terrible!"  Then she proceeds to rip Drew Barrymore a new one for "that thing on her shoulder... and oh my lord, she's got one on her waist too!"

10:08p... The score from "Up" is nominated for Best Score, and I hope it wins... it was wonderful.  The winner?  "Up"!  Its awesome.  Its so... well, perfect.  It takes you through those first gut-wretching, hard to watch, can't look away 9 minutes of that movie.

10:05p... Cher and Christina Aguliera are in a movie together, something called "Burlesque".  They are here to do the awards for Song from a Movie.  Cher looks terrible.  Not sure she could smile if she wanted to.  Christina... not too bad.  Its been a long time, Christina.  Glad to see you back.  I was guessing "Winter" by U2, from "Brothers", was going to win, to make up for the loss a few years ago when Three 6 Mafia took home the Oscar for "Its Hard Out Here for a Pimp" over U2's song from "Gangs of New York".

Who won?  The song from "Crazy Heart", which I should have guessed.  Its a country music movie about a hard drinking country star fallen from grace.  Shoulda known.

10:03p... Here's the ever grumpy Harrison Ford.  Seriously... this guy is not only Han Solo, but also Indiana Jones, plus he was in "Witness"!  He was in "The Mosquito Coast"!  He was in "American Graffiti"!  Harrison!  You've led an incredible life.  Smile once in a while, bucky.

10:02p... Just found out that Michael C. Hall actually has cancer.  Don't I feel like a sleazebucket. 

9:59p... Best actress in a TV Series Drama... All five women in shows I've never seen.  Julianna Margulies for "The Good Wife", which I have heard is a great show.  I just don't have time for more TV shows!!!

9:57p...  Best performances in drama!  Actor in a TV Series Drama... and the winner is Michael C. Hall for "Dexter", in his cancer-like knit cap.  I remember him as the gay brother in "Six Feet Under".

9:52p... And someone who hasn't been talented or pretty since "Amost Famous" its Kate Hudson!  And here's Mrs. William H. Macy, Felicity Huffman, completely fumbling and stumbling through the teleprompter to tell us who the Hollywood Foreign Press Association actually is... we meet the president, Philip Burk, who isn't the same Philip Burk I remember from the Lambda Chi house back in 1995.  And we still don't know what the HFPA does.

9:48p... The Animated Film Award, which will either go to "Up" or "The Fabulous Mr. Fox"... I hope that Pixar is not being held back because of its previous winnings... like a "They've won so many, so let's give it to someone else" kind of mentality.  The winner?  "Up".  Ha!  I knew it!  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Yes!!"

9:48p... I hold the personal belief that Sir Paul McCartney stopped being relevant about thirteen years ago.  Just sayin'.

9:44p... Yay!  Its Mama Gilmore and some guy that I sort of recognize.  Mama Gilmore looked better on the show.  Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, TV Movie or Mini-Series.  Its Doogie!  Everyone loves Doogie!  The winner, though?  John Lithgow wins for "Dexter".  I don't even think I knew he was on that show until yesterday, when The Sports Guy mentioned him in a podcast that I was listening too.  They cut to Michael C. Hall, the star of "Dexter", who is sporting some sort of knit skull cap--what, does he have cancer?

9:41p... Best Actress in a TV Series Comedy or Musical.   Matthew Fox is out there with someone that I don't recognize (I think its the chick from "Modern Family"), she's trying to get out her names, and its hard to understand her.  The Lovely Steph Leann claps when the chick from Glee is mentioned as a nominee.  Toni Collette wins for "The United States of Tara", which I could have predicted as soon as that show premiered last January... Toni Collette is playing a woman with like, five personalities.  If that doesn't get you an award, I'm not sure what does.

9:38p... Let me be clear.  Mo'Nique just won an acting award.  And she's going to tell us about all the beaten and abused women out there...  and I was right.     "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire" is a movie that I want to see.  Then again, I don't.

9:36p... Nicole Kidman looks like a wax figure.  She's here to present the award for Best Supporting Actress... Penelope Cruz is one of those chicks that I should find attractive, but don't.  Same goes for Vera Fermiga.  Not so much for Mo'Nique.  Julianne Moore and Anna Kendrick I do find attractive.  And in the "Yep, saw that coming" moment, Mo'Nique picks up the award for "Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire".  

9:34p... And he makes some pee-pee jokes... and jokes on Angelina Jolie and her 4,992 kids... and then says, "Let's get on it with, before NBC replaces me with Jay Leno."  Knew that was coming!

9:31p... Our host is Ricky Gervais, British comic and star of the British show "The Office", which is where our "The Office" is based from.  The Golden Globes is awarded from The Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which is a group that I have no clue what they are about.  Ricky comes out and takes digs at Steve Carrell, who portray's Gervais' American character.  Then he takes a dig at NBC (who doesn't). 

9:29p... And now... the Golden Globes have started.  Finally.

9:25p... The Lovely Steph Leann is still talking.  The show still hasn't started for us.  I've been careful to avoid E! Network or EW.com or Showbiz Tonight on CNN or anything else that might allude to who won what award.  So far.  Not sure how much longer I can keep this fast up.

9:15p... And now I wait for The Lovely Steph Leann to quit her yapping so we can turn on The Golden Globes Awards show, the show that started almost 2 and a half hours ago--I had high hopes that if we started at 7:30, even 8, we could fast forward through what we wanted to, and catch up to the live show.  But alas.

9:13p...  We're in!  We booked, we're all set, we have a room at All Star Sports for The Lovely Steph Leann and I, then an All Star Music Suite for Karen, Eric and the childrens.  Again... you call until you get the answer you want.  And we got the answer we wanted.  Rock on. 

8:59p... We are traveling with the cousin of The Lovely Steph Leann, Karen, and Karen's husband Eric, and their two children, Wyatt and Hannah.  Both kids are severly autistic, which is something that I know about.. but don't know about.  So, like, I don't know much about "how that works". 

8:53p... Finally, back from on hold... and our Cast Member we are talking to is named Elisa.  She rocks.  Seriously...

8:46... Still on hold

8:22pm... The Golden Globes officially started at 7pm, which is 5pm California time.  However, we've got it on DVR, and we haven't started it yet... why?  First, I had to work tonight until 7pm at The Happiest Place in the Mall.  Then, when I got off at 7pm, I had to stop by Subway to bring home some Eat Fresh for dinner.  Upon arrival at home, circa 7:30, The Lovely Steph Leann was busy as a bee putting up Christmas ornaments into their proper boxes (this is a daunting task that I usually do every year, but this year she's assisting).  I sat down, put the Eat Fresh sandwiches off to the side, fired up the laptop and pulled up a blank blogpage.

"Can you call Disney and find out rates for our March trip?"  The Lovely Steph Leann asked.  I sighed.  I stared at the remote, at the Eat Fresh sandwiches, at the computer and sighed again.  This was going to take a while. 

See, here's the thing... as much as I love my own company, the one I work for and will be a part of for at least the next 3 and 1/2 months, their reservation system for Cast Members is... well, sometimes rather incompetant.  Put it this way--most of the time, you call until you get the answer you want, and then you book it then, just like tonight.  I've talked to four Cast Members over six phone calls (the first my phone dropped out, and I threw it, and the second, I got transferred in error to the wrong person, who put me on hold for many, many minutes--which means I hung up and threw it.  I don't do well being on hold for stupid reasons.  Just sayin').  Anyway, I finally called back, and got someone now who is supposed to help me book our final trip before I leave The Happiest Place in the Mall in April.

The Hurt Locker

"I hurt myself today to see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real..." Johnny Cash

When they announced several weeks ago that the Academy in increasing the number of Best Picture nominees from five to ten, I, as a movie lover and sometimes critic, had the same question about 2009... "Is there enough quality films to fill all ten spots?  Or will spots 8,9 and 10 just be something popular that they had to add in to take up the extra space?"

Well, my guess is that one film that will be there, and would have been there regardless of the five or ten movie limit, even if this film had been released in the vaunted 1993 Great Year At the Movies...

SIDEBAR... I've heard that the year 1939 is considered the best year in film, all time.  Its not surprising, because the list of movie classics--movies that to this day, people are still relishing--is long and heavy... in 1939, there was "Gone With the Wind"... "The Wizard of Oz"... "Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs"... "Stagecoach"... "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington"... "Gunga Din"... "Goodbye Mr. Chips"... and the original "Of Mice and Men".  That is a Murder's Row of timeless cinema.

I've also heard that 1993 is a considerable heavyweight when it comes to film.  Perhaps because I was 17/18 at the time, aware of the impact of movies in my own life that 1993 probably resonates more... consider this list of movies that came out in 1993... "Schindler's List"... "The Fugitive"... "Groundhog Day"... "In the Name of the Father"... "The Piano"... "Philadelphia"... "In the Line of Fire"... "Dave"... "Sleepless in Seattle"... "Dazed and Confused"... "Tombstone"... "The Nightmare Before Christmas"... "Short Cuts"... "Jurassic Park"... this year alone constitutes 7 films in The Dave100.  

Don't know if this is the best year in film or not... but it has to come darn close.  Just sayin'.

Where was I?

Yeah... "The Hurt Locker". 

Been hearing about this film since late summer, directed by Kathryn Bigelow, probably most famous for Keanu "I AM AN EFF BEE EYE AGENT!" Reeves in "Point Break", and wanted to see it.  I'm really wary about recent war films, as a few of them have come off very anti-Our Guys and anti-Our Country, so I usually stay away.  And, I think everyone else stays away too, as "In the Valley of Elah", "Stop-Loss", "Redition" (which is a waste of my beloved Reese Witherspoon) and "Lions for Lambs" were all disasters at the box office, commonly known as "bombs".  I've only seen one of the previous movies mentioned, and it was pretty terrible. 

I kept looking for "The Hurt Locker" here in Birmingham, but never saw it.  There's a few big theaters around, and perhaps it made it in and out before I knew it, but one day I saw it advertised at the Ghetto Theater for a buck.  Called up my Ghetto Theater Buddy Mikey and said, "Hey, let's go see it!" and he said, "Yeah, dog" and so we did.  We met up with our friends Jimmy B and The Good Doctor Earl, and settled back in chairs that were probably filled with H1N1, the Avian Flu, lice, gingivitis and clamidia, all at the same time. 

"The Hurt Locker" is about a group of solders in Iraq that disarm Improvised Explosive Devices, or IEDs, which are really just like they sound--simply made bombs that are triggered by tripwires, or remotes or whatever, made to kill people, namely American soliders. 



After the Spc. Eldridge and Sgt. Sanborn's team leader, Sgt. Thompson, is killed by an IED, SSgt James is brought in to replace him.  James and Thompson are miles apart, with Thompson exact, careful, precise and always putting safety first, while James is borderline reckless, approaching the IEDs with a devil-may-care attitude, alienating Eldridge and Sanborn with his style and his lack of discipline.  Still, James is very, very good at what he does.

One of the most chilling scenes is when they run upon a sniper attack, and after they return fire and hunker down, the waning minutes turns into hours, as they sit, hiding, afraid to move, trying to take out the snipers before they get hit themselves. 

I've never been at war.  I've never been shot at.  I've never worn the gear of the military, so I cannot tell you that this movie does or does not correctly identify what these soldiers go through, every day, with IEDs just stuck everywhere from random rubble on the roadside to being surgically implanted in the stomachs of small children.  Not kidding.

There are three main reasons why I thought this film was brilliant... first, the lack of superstars helps this movie quite a bit.  No Tommy Lee Jones, no Jake Gyllenhaal, no Jamie Foxx... only a cameo appearance by Kate from Lost, Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes and That Guy Hall of Famer David Morse, but beyond that, its starring no one you'd recognize.  Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty have been in other stuff, but you likely won't remember much of it.  Taking away this stardom almost makes this feel like its a documentary more than anything else, like what you are seeing on screen is actually happening 5,000 miles and a half-dozen time zones away--maybe because it is. 

Secondly, its not preachy.  Anyone who has read this site enough will know I'm not into being preached at by films that are supposed to entertain.  It doesn't dive into politics, into why we are there, why we are or are not winning or losing the war, or anything else.  It just tells its story.

Finally... its just a really good movie.  Its a movie about war, so none of the language is Emmy Turnbow Safe, and it does have its bloody moments, but its paced well, it doesn't veer into subplots (much... there is one small one, but it resolves itself quickly) and after its over, you just nod your head and say, "That's a good movie."

Its hard to imagine that this movie might win the Best Picture, as its not flashy and the marketing machine of Hollywood hasn't taken this film to new heights, but as far as quality, its one of the best films I've seen all year... certainly better than "Slumdog Millionaire". 

The 100 Coolest Things of 2008... 70 thru 61

NOTE: If you are reading this on facebook, click here to see the videos (they will not appear in facebook notes)

Are you new to the blog? Click here to find out what the heck this is all about.

And we'll continue our annual list of the Top 100 Coolest Things of 2008...
The Introduction and Recap
The 100th thru 91st Coolest Things of 2008
The 90th thru 81st Coolest Things of 2008
The 80th thru 71st Coolest Things of 2008

70. Four Christmases
"I'll tell you what movie I couldn't believe was only PG-13 and not Rated R!" Cindy Warner proclaimed at our latest KidStuf practice.
"What, Role Models?" I asked, thinking how in the world Cindy Warner would be caught that that film, then remembering it was actually Rated R.
"No!" she exclaimed. "Four Christmases!!"
Hannah Pruitt, the coolest person I know, leaned over and said, "Whatever. I loved it." Then we high fived.

This was such a funny movie... here's what I said a few weeks ago:

Its a contrived plot that relys on the strength of its leads and Vince Vaughn definately does his end of the job. He's one of the funniest guys out there.

Reese Witherspoon is one of those actresses that I keep forgetting 1) how talented she is, and 2) how hot she is. She shouldn't be hot, either, she's got this weird goofy grin thing going on, along the same lines that has made me never find Julia Roberts attractive... and yet, somehow she is.

Reese is funny in this movie. She's been funnier, though, as seen in "Election", one of the most wickedly funny movies ever, and even "Sweet Home Alabama". Avoid anything that has a number after "Legally Blonde", though.Anyway, they play a couple who, since both comes from divorced homes, somehow avoid visiting the four different families they'd have to see on Christmas Day. Through a pretty clever set of circumstances, however, they are forced to do just that very thing... the parents are great, played by Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Jon Voight and Mary Steenbergen, all four Oscar winners. Dwight Yoakam also has one heck of a funny cameo too (I didn't even spot him at first).

And Jon Favreau is at his stupid best--anytime the words "Dry Humping" and "screensaver" can me included in the same dialogue, it makes for high comedy.

70A. Reese Witherspoon
Granted, one funny, good movie does not an appearance on the 100 Coolest Things necessarily warrant.


Let's welcome Reese Witherspoon, this year's inductee into The Ashley Judd Club. Reese, you can have a seat over there next to Kate Winslet and Debra Messing.

I wrote about three Reese movies to check out, naming "Election", "Man in the Moon" and "Walk the Line". Since we're on the subject, I wanted to give you a couple more Reese movies to check out:

"Pleasantville"... a flick that was in serious contention for The Dave100 (that being my 100 favorite films of all time). She's charming, she's funny, she's hot and its also worth a look at a young Toby Maguire and former That-Guy William H. Macy, and late That Guy Hall of Famer JT Walsh (in his final film)
"Sweet Home Alabama"... I debated on this for a while, trying to decide whether to recommend this film or the equally cheesy "Legally Blonde". After some careful decision (re: deciding which I'd watch if they were the only two movies on television), I chose this one. Its just fun, plus a bonus for The Lovely Steph Leann, it stars Colin Firth Club member Patrick Dempsey.
"American Psycho/Cruel Intentions"... Honestly... as a Christ Follower, I cannot recommend either of these films. As a movie fan, I can recommend either one of them. Don't watch them. but if you do, Reese is marvelous in both.

69. truTV
Oh, talk about a guilty pleasure. For someone who is a fan of "World's Wildest (insert authoritative group here) Chase Videos" and crap like that, this channel is like manna from heaven. Seriously... here's a story I shared last April:

Once, while actually in Panama City, I was about to head out of the hotel room to enjoy the sunshine of a 75 degree day. One of those shows was on, and I ended up sitting down and watching it. Drew Morris came in. He started watching it. Shawn Sharp walked in, and he too was caught. Another guy came in, and was sucked in. So, at the worlds most beautiful beaches, on a nice 75 degree day, when there are scantily clad Christian girls outside in inappropriate bikinis (this was a churchy type retreat, complete with Valdmanis), and there are four guys, watching two hours of "World's Wildest Police Chases".

And those shows? They were on CourTV. Which, as of January 1st, 2008, became truTV. The channel not only shows Cops over and over (still waiting for the Bucky Covington sighting), it boasts progams like "Maui Chopper", "Speeders", "Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel" and "Carribean Cops", its a cornucopia of videos, stupid criminals, stupid drivers and drunk folks. Plus, its website features "The Dumb Blog", a listing of the dumbest criminals of the week, which tells of this guy:

Wearing a ski mask, Frank Goldshtein politely waited in line for his turn to rob the bank, according to police in Stow, OH. Ten minutes later, the jig was up when Goldshtein crashed his car in a yard and cops recovered the stolen loot, the ski mask and the toy gun he allegedly used to extract the cash from the teller.

Its not reality. Its actuality.

68. The Crap Trap with The Lovely Steph Leann
One of the favorite things I love to do is eat, and one of the even more favorite things is to eat at great places with my lovely wife, The Lovely Steph Leann. And one of the best places we've eaten in the last while is The Crab Trap. Located down close to Sandestin, Florida, its this big seafood dive that has lots of shrimp, fish, lobster and of course, crab legs. Lots of crab legs.



And for an hour, that's what we feasted on, splitting a King Crab plate and big dish of some sort of crab dip, with crab, cream cheese, seasoning and chips. Fantastic food. I am still slightly full.

67. I.O. Metro
One day, I was at The Happiest Place in the Mall, when who should stop by but Bobowen. He and his wife, The Freckled Becca, were hosting an "open house" across the way at Patton Creek, where he was managing a new store called I.O. Metro. I had no clue what this even was, but heck, Bobowen and The Freckled Becca are good friends and I wanted to support them, so we went.

And it was the neatest thing... I didn't have a clue what I.O. Metro even was, but of course, being the hip chick that The Lovely Steph Leann is, she knew. Its a big furniture store, full of accessories, home items and so forth. That, of course, led to The War of the Table, which wasn't the best night in the world (which, by the way, The War of the Table had its own Appomattix moment when, last week, we actually got a table--that's for later, though) but overall, it was neat to see such a big store, and such a big accomplishment for Bobowen. And The Freckled Becca is just precious.

66. This Letter from Scott Latta

Dear Magic 96.5,

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Wow! Where does the time go? It’s weird—it seems like only yesterday that I flipped by for my weekly Peabo Bryson fix, and instead of hearing “Tonight I Celebrate My Love,” I heard something else entirely. I checked the calendar, thinking “Surely it isn’t time for ‘I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas’ already,” and sure enough, there it was: September 4, letting me know that you had already switched over to Christmas music and were prepared to pepper my ears with the same eight songs incessantly for the next four months!

I should begin by saying that you’re not likely to find a bigger fan of Christmas (or, incidentally, Peabo Bryson) than me. I start walking around Hobby Lobby in mid-July looking for ornaments and tinsel. And I don’t even use ornaments and tinsel. I just like to walk around the store holding them. I invented the “dirt angel.” I spray myself with aerosol snow. I really love Christmas. So this is my season. This is it for me. And, you know, there are some things that are hard to screw up. Ice cream comes to mind, and sugar cookies and Helen Keller jokes and Pixar movies.

Christmas is one of these things. I could spend Christmas in a Malaysian prison and I’d pretty much enjoy myself. But listening to your radio station—listening to the same eight songs you put on repeat—makes me want to burn my tree. It makes me want to pour out the Salvation Army bucket and bang Santa over the head with it, then pick up all the change and throw it at animals. Every year, my love for Christmas makes me think maybe—maybe—I should give you another try, and every year you ruin Christmas for me.

So, you should know that I hate you. But don’t get me wrong! I don’t necessarily hate Christmas music; I just hate what you do with it. You know what? I want to be in on your production meetings, if you have them. I want to be there when the station manager says the words, “I don’t know, I just really think people want to hear ‘Run, Run Rudolph’ by the Jackson 5,” and I want to throw a dry erase marker at him. Seriously. How much Burl Ives does a person need? My rule is that one Burl Ives song holds me over for 10 years. In the last week, you have played enough Burl Ives to cover not only my life, but the prison sentences for OJ Simpson (33 years), Vinson Filyaw (421 years), and Charles Manson (life, no parole).

Did you know that Bruce Springsteen, Michael Buble and James Taylor have all released Christmas albums? I’m not being sarcastic; I’m seriously telling you because I honestly think you think that Christmas music stopped being recorded around 1971. But it didn’t. That’s the thing; we don’t have to listen to Aaron Neville. Get on iTunes sometime. There is a whole other world out there you need to be listening to.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. Also, as the only radio station in Birmingham that plays non-stop Christmas music, thank you for being a shining example of the precarious dangers of monopoly power and why we should always fight against it.

Actually anticipating the return to Michael Bolton,

Scott

Scotty... this one is for you...


(somehow, Scotty has gotten a dozen mentions these last few weeks. Too bad the Pruitt Award winners have already been decided--Scotty might pick one up next year.)

65. "Nature Girl" by Carl Hiaasen
It's not a secret that I am totally anti-manmade global warming, in the sense that I don't believe its manmade (neither does most of the world) but also I'm not a fan of books, movies and shows that end up having a "We Americans are destoying our planet. We suck" theme. See "Still, The Day the Earth Stood" and "Happening, The". Or better yet, don't.

Carl Hiaasen is a native Floridian who has written a ton of books, mostly set in his home state, and many times dealing with enviromental issues. Its a credit to him, though, that he doesn't delve into the "we suck" mentality. He just tells his story, and give somes good "hey, take care of our planet" wisdom and tells a nice story. "Nature Girl" is just such a story.



His characters are goofy--Boyd, a scam artist, Sammy Tigertail, a Seminole who is trying to hide from a dead guy who he didn't kill, and the books ingenue, Honey Santana, a oddball chick who sets out to punish Boyd after he insults her on the phone. Its not a serious book, its almost a ridiculous... well, no, it IS a ridiculous story, but credit Hiaasen on making it enjoyable all the same. If ever there were a novel to define "beach read", this would be it.

64. "Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
No, I can't pronounce his name. No, I don't know anything about the guy. What I do know, though is this is a great tune. Combining "Over the Rainbow" with The Great Satchmo's classic "What a Wonderful World", its soft, done on the ukelele, and classic.

Of course, what brought it to just about everyone's attention--besides the countless times its been in commercials, movies and TV shows--is earlier in the year when Jason Castro, "The Dreadlocked One", performed it (brilliantly I might add) on American Idol. Over a dozen plays on my iPod this year puts on the list...


I'll be completely honest. When I googled Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, I was not imagining this guy. Apparently, he's a Hawaiian music legend, so much so that when he died in 1997, the Hawaiian state flag flew at half-mast.

63. Troy Over Florida International
My best mate Wookiee called me up, telling me of the extra tickets he had for the October 18th bout between the two college football powerhouses, Troy (my alma mater) and Florida Int'l. I said I was in--it fell on a rare Saturday that I was free from The Happiest Place in the Mall. We made some phone calls, seeing who else was interested, and Matt Halpert and J Rob decided they would join us... J Rob them punked out.

So, Wookiee, Matt and myself proceeded down to Troy, Alabama, stopping at Crowe's Chicken along the way for dinner, and then to the game. It was a blast. Troy won 33-23, and it was fun hanging out with Wook-Fu and the incredibly dry-witted Matt, who had never attended many college games--he's an NFL enthusiest from Houston, so all he has are the Texans and Rockets. And Astros, but he doesn't talk much about them.

62. WarGames II: Nuclear Wastelands
December 29th, 2008. The warriors came. Tyler. Zack. Danny. Pinkerton. Young Garrett. For a brief time, Papa Ron Campbell. Yours Truly. They chose their armies, we surrounded the battlefield, we rolled the dice. First, it was the mission game. Every five minutes, a country was nuked. Every 300 seconds that went by, another army was destroyed. Danny emerged victorious from the warm-up.

The elder Campbell couldn't handle the pressure. The big game was at hand. The armies moved. The dice rolled. The cards were earned. Now every 20 minutes, a country fell at the hands of the Nuclear Option. Tyler fortified, then was cut off, in Australia. Young Garrett took over Europe. With Danny owning South America, and Zack taking much of Asia, Pinkerton had little chance and was eliminated. Yours Truly had no hope, buried in South Africa.

And yet, then Young Garrett, ever unreliable, fell. Tyler was the next to fall, Zack then went down. Danny and Yours Truly had only to eliminate each other--Danny in his first WarGames, Yours Truly hoping for a back-to-back win, having won WG I. And suddenly, the Nuclear Option mattered more than ever, striking Danny twice in key areas, leaving Yours Truly enough life to amass a legion, to strike fast and to finally dominate. And Yours Truly is WarGames Master once again.

Geeks, nerds and dorks of the world, rejoice.

61. "Death Race" with Mikey
If you are standing in the welfare line, and with President Elect Obama set to take charge in a matter of days, you might be soon, and you ask for cheese, they give you the block. If you ask for butter, they give you the block of butter. If you ask for Bruce Willis, they give you... Jason Statham.

Imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit (aren't they always), he's forced to compete in a television game show where criminals race each other in death machines, with the winner having a chance to go free. There's the corrupt warden (Joan Allen), the angry black man (Tyrese Gibson), the hot chick (Natalie Martinez), the older, wise sage (Ian McShane) and of course, the crazy foreigner (Max Ryan). But all that doesn't matter.

What does matter is how terrible this movie was. How terrible, and yet, how Craptastic. Absolutely Craptastic. The plot is lousy, the action is predictable and repetitive, the deaths are kind of unimaginative, but the whole movie tosses together makes for an entertaining night, at least with the right person.

Enter Mikey, who, like myself, share a love and appreciation for Craptistical Films. We saw this movie at the dollar theater in town, which made it much better--"The Punisher: War Zone" might have been salvagable had I only paid $1 instead of $9 for it.

Coming Up... For Better or For Worse restarts, The Official Troy State Crush returns and... you're doing what to Matt Damon???

Hugh Jackman, Meet Colin Firth (and other december movies)

Guess who is playing The Riddler in the newest Batman film, tentatively titled "Gotham"?

Here's what I've seen in the last few weeks..

"Quantum of Solace", rated PG-13, starring Daniel Craig and Dame Judi Dench

I have to be clear on this... I'm not a huge James Bond fan. This is unofficially the 25th movie in the James Bond series, and I've probably seen, or at least can remember, five or six of them. That being said, I think Daniel Craig is a great James Bond. Seriously... Pierce Brosnan was decent, I think, though a little too... well, charming and not manly enough... while Timothy Dalton was terrible. Roger Moore was the Bond of my childhood mostly, and of course, everyone loved Sean Connery from back in the day.

Now that my exposition is out of the way, I can say that I really and fully enjoyed this flick. It picks up right where "Casino Royale" left off, another film I enjoyed immensely--one of the coolest things about 2006. One drawback is that "Quantum" features none of the gadgets that we are so used to seeing, but like "Casino Royale", the story isn't about the gadgets. This one is about an agent seeking revenge... and Strawberry Fields? One of the best looking Bond girls ever. Ever. Well, except for Paris Carver. Oh, and Xenia Onatopp.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

"Twilight", rated PG, starring Cedric Diggory, The Chick from #51 on The Dave100, and Mike Dexter.

There are only four things that redeemed this movie for me...
1) The chick playing Alice Cullen
2) The chick playing Jessica Kendrick
3) Watching Mike Dexter try to be a father figure
4) When it was over, after 2 god-forsaken hours that Ill never, ever, ever get back.

I mean, this movie is so dreary, and so depressing--not a good depressing like "Schindler's List" or "Saving Private Ryan", a depressing that entertains and enthralls, nay, even haunts you... no, this is a bad depressing, so much so that I was sticking fire pokers between my fingers. I was playing games on my phone. I was working out algebra formulas in my head. I was counting the hairs on my arms (I got to about 1,993,103 before I lost count). This, of course, begs the question, "Dave, why didn't you just leave??" to which I answer, "I had to finish the movie, just in case it got better. It actually did, for about 10 minutes towards the end, then that part got ruined.

I found the ticket for free in the little ticket box, which is why I went to see it. It was free, and I still wanted my money back. This movie was terrible.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

"Role Models", Rated R, starring Paul Rudd, Seann William Scott, Elizabeth Banks
As a follower of Christ, we are bound by the law of what is good and what is right, as listed in the Word of God, telling us be careful what we see and what he hear, be cautious of what we put before our eyes and in our hearts. I say this to head off anyone telling me this exact thing, Amy McL, because I have to say, for me...

...this movie was absolutely hysterical. I mean, unbelievably funny, to the point I was cracking up every few minutes. The plot is a little contrived--two guys get into trouble and are sentenced to work with some troubled kids at a center. Of course, it goes without saying, the ending will be that, though they hate the kids at first, they end up loving the kids, and the kids, though hating the two guys, end up loving the two guys. Duh. That's how movies like this are supposed to end.

That being said, this movie is driven by Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott, two extremely funny and talented guys. Their timing and delivery of what might be unfunny dialogue turn this from cliche to completely a riot. I like Paul Rudd anyway, for his work in the little-seen-but-very-funny "Wet Hot American Summer" (directed by David Wain, as is "Role Models"), the slightly overrated "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" and of course, my 91st Favorite Movie of All Time. Seann William Scott, who will forever be known as Stifler, is also emerging as a great go to guy for silly, stupid comedy, and in the case of genius like "The Rundown" (also on The Dave100), smart, sharp comedy.

Anyway, if "Superbad" offended you, or "Knocked Up" got under your craw, stay away from "Role Models". Its got language, its got unnecessary boobage and its got boy potty humor... but man, its funny. And its great to watch Fogell emerge as a decent actor.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

"Four Christmases", Rated PG-13, starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon.

Whereas "Role Models" was really, really funny, this movie was just funny. Again, its a contrived plot that relys on the strength of its leads and Vince Vaughn definately does his end of the job. He's one of the funniest guys out there.

Oh, by the way, after this movie, I'd like to introduce one of three possible candidates into The Ashley Judd Club (my answer to The Colin Firth Club)... Reese Witherspoon. She's one of those actresses that I keep forgetting 1) how talented she is, and 2) how hot she is. She shouldn't be hot, either, she's got this weird goofy grin thing going on, along the same lines that has made me never find Julia Roberts attractive... and yet, somehow she is.


Kristen Chenoweth, who starred in the tv show "Pushing Daisies". It sounded like an interesting premise, so much so that I was very close to buying Season One on DVD, catching up and following the show. Then ABC cancelled it--or "halted production, which is just as good as. Then the news came out that there is no plans to resolve the cliffhanger left by the last filmed episode. So, I didn't get it.

Reese is funny in this movie. She's been funnier, though, as seen in "Election", one of the most wickedly funny movies ever, and even "Sweet Home Alabama". Avoid anything that has a number after "Legally Blonde", though.

Anyway, they play a couple who, since both comes from divorced homes, somehow avoid visiting the four different families they'd have to see on Christmas Day. Through a pretty clever set of circumstances, however, they are forced to do just that very thing... the parents are great, played by Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Jon Voight and Mary Steenbergen, all four Oscar winners. Dwight Yoakam also has one heck of a funny cameo too (I didn't even spot him at first).
You'll also see Jon Favreau at his stupid best, Tim McGraw somehow pulling off a funny part, and another candidate for this year's inductees into The Ashley Judd Club, Kristen Chenoweth.

This is a silly popcorn movie that, if what you want is sold out, I would recommend. You won't laugh until you cry, but you will laugh.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

d$'s Movie Moment....

Three Films of Vince Vaughn to check out...
"Wedding Crashers"... again, if you don't like this kind humor, stay away!
"Be Cool"... not nearly as good as "Get Shorty" but Vince + The Rock = d$ laughing
"A Cool, Dry Place"... a more serious role, in a very sweet movie

Three Films to Avoid at All Cost...
"Psycho"... "The Cell"... and one of the worst movies I've ever seen, "Domestic Disturbance"

Three Films of Reese Witherspoon to check out...
"Election"... a very satirical flick with a great plot, hilarious (and bad) dialogue and Reese at her most scrumptiously good
"Man in the Moon"... no, not the Jim Carrey one. Reese was 15 when she debuted in this country movie--grab a few hankies. The only movie I have ever cried in. Seriously.
"Walk the Line"... of course.



What do we think? Is she The Goddess worthy?

Three Films to Avoid at All Cost...
"Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde"... "S.F.W."... "Little Nicky"

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"The Punisher: War Zone"... Rated R, starring Ray Stevenson, Dominic West

You ever go to a movie and you just know, after its over, that you would have enjoyed it soooo much more if you had seen it at the $1 theater, thereby investing only a single dollar, than at the big show, investing $9.25? Yep. This was "The Punisher: War Zone" for me.

Mikey Nipp and I saw this movie together, as we do have a tendency to check out bad flicks, sometimes because no one else will see them with us. We saw "Death Race 3000" this summer--at the $1 theater--and it was unbelievably craptastic.

"The Punisher: War Zone" is a terrible movie. The acting is terrible, the effects are terrible, the plot is terrible, and the blood/body count is terrible. Please know that all these "terribles" are predicated on the fact I paid about $8.25 more than I should have for this movie.

In one seen, The Punisher punches a guy in the face. Does the guy's nose break? Does the eye get a bloody eye? No. The guys face caves in. Completely. This is the movie called "The Punisher: War Zone".

Run.

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The Colin Firth Club and Its Official Members

For those of you who have read the blog a while, you'll know what this is, and many of you have your own version. KT's is called "The Eddie Vedder Club". Hermionikki Brown might have "The Michael Phelps Club". Who knows?

If The Lovely Steph Leann is offered a romantic escapade with Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Will Smith, she laughs and says "no way". However... offer her Colin Firth, and though she would say no, she would hesitate. It wouldn't be an automatic refusal, there would be a few seconds of thought. Hence, The Colin Firth Club.


The official president and leader of The Colin Firth Club

Its members include.. Colin Firth, of course... Patrick Dempsey, Bradley Whitford, Pierce Brosnan, Mr. Darcy and now, 2008's inductee, Hugh Jackman.

My own version, heralded by The Goddess? It includes Samantha Brown, Kate Winslet, Debra Messing, Teri Hatcher and Marisa Tomei. And 2008's candidates for induction? Kristen Chenoweth, Reese Witherspoon and Ashley Tisdale.

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"Australia", Rated PG-13, starring Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman

"Australia" is defined by two words... "Sweeping" and "Epic". This is not a movie for everyone. This is a movie for people who enjoy "Sweeping" and "Epics". Directed by Baz Luhrmann, the same guy who did "Moulin Rouge!", "William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet" and the highly underseen "Strictly Ballroom", it tells the tale of an English Lady who lost her husband to the rough tread of the Australian cattle driving industry in the days leading up to World War II.


This one is for The Lovely Steph Leann...

Now, for my money, I had never even given a thought to cattle drives--or droves--in Australia, as when I hear that name, I only think of koalas, kangaroos, WalkAbout and Nicole Kidman. Good thing that Nicole Kidman is in this movie. Its been a while since I've enjoyed Nicole Kidman, because lets face it, she's done some crap in recent years.

Three Nicole Kidman movies to check out...
"Dead Calm"... One of her first films, and its chilling. She's excellent.
"To Die For"... Very funny, very sharp
"The Others"... Creepy. Very creepy.

Three Nicole Kidman films to avoid at all costs...
Pretty much everything since 2001's "The Others" and now. "Cold Mountain" might be worth a look and... no, avoid that one too.

Anyway, she shines and looks great in the Great Outback, and actually, The Outback could be a co-star of the film. Its got adventure, its got love, its got villians, its got aborigines, its got war, its got Hugh Jackman, lathered up in soap, washing off, leading to this exchange...

Me: Hugh Jackman, huh? Good looking?
The Lovely Steph Leann: Oh yeah. He's People's Sexiest Man Alive for a reason.
Me: Colin Firth Club worthy?
The Lovely Steph Leann (incredulously): Of course he's Colin Firth Club Worthy! Its Hugh Jackman! Helll-ooo....

At a running time of almost 3 hours, empty your bladder before going in, drink slowly and get comfy. I do recommend it, though... it was a good... no, it was a great, fun picture.

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I was going to go see "The Day The Earth Stood Still", but then I learned that its kind of a "we are aliens who are so ashamed at how you measly Earthlings (re: Americans) are destroying your planet, we're going to come and destroy it for you so you can start over"

That did it for me.


Random The Goddess picture, since The Lovely Steph Leann got one

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Finally, here are the movies I'm really excited about seeing in the next few weeks...

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"... First, I think Brad Pitt is an extremely talented actor, all looks aside. Secondly, I'm all about some Cate Blanchett, but only in certain movies--this one is included. Perhaps I've seen the entire movie in the previews, but I think it will be, at the very least, interesting.

"Gran Torino"... True story. I'm watching the previews, waiting for "Quantum of Solace". I see the trailer for the new Star Trek film, and while it was pretty good, I was completely taken and enthralled with Clint Eastwood's new film. It looks amazing.

"Bedtime Stories"... It kind of reminds me of the fantasy and fun of "A Night at the Museum", and it reminds me of "Four Christmases"... a fun popcorn flick. This is not to be confused with the Cinemax late night series of the same name, by the way.

"Revolutionary Road"... Its got Kate Winslet. That's all I care about.