Idol Four (with results)

Casey James... Big Mike Lynche... Crystal Bowersox... Lee DeWyze... who will join the next Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, David Cook, Kris Allen, Taylor Hicks, Fantasia, Jordin Sparks, or Ruuuuuben Studdard as the next American Idol? 

THIS IS

AMERICAN

IDOL

Its worth noting that at no time have I attached "My Next American Idol" to any of these guys, an honor bestowed upon dignitaries as My Girl McPhee, Alison Iraheta and Brooke White... and no one has the honor of being the second "The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol", much like The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen. 

Why?

No one deserves it.  Let's face it, neither one of us are buying any of the albums put out by any of the Idols this year.  And you probably aren't either.

Tonight, the mentor is Jamie Foxx, star of such hits as "Ray", "Miami Vice", "Stealth" and "Booty Call".  The Lovely Steph Leann comments on "The Man Hug" demonstrated by Jamie Foxx and the guys in the group. 

Favorite Jamie Foxx movie?  "Collateral".  Also starring Tom Cruise, Jada Pinkett Smith and Mark Ruffalo, it features Foxx as Max, a cab driver who picks up Vincent (Cruise), a hitman who forces Max to drive him around to do his dirty work.  Fantastic film, directed by Michael Mann, its dark, its smart and its great to see Cruise in a bad guy role.  Rated R for language and violence.   I'm trying to decide if this is an addition to The Dave100 as I rethink those last few movies for presentation this summer...

Jamie is giving each contestant a shirt--it is black and either says "CONTESTANT" or "ARTIST".  You want the latter, not the former.  Jamie gives Lee the "ARTIST" shirt, but that was in the rehearsal video.  Tonight?  He's hit a few pretty rough notes. 

Lee DeWyze is singing "Kiss From a Rose."  By the way, love this song, the original that is.  Seal was the man back in the 90s... "Kiss from a Rose", "Crazy" (not the Gnarls Barkley one, but the one that goes "Yeah I'm never gonna survive... unless... we get a little crazy..." which was like a college anthem for me my freshman year), "Prayer for the Dying"... rock on.  Not sure what most of them means, but awesome stuff.

Randy the Dawg suggested he should have done "Blaze of Glory" from Bon Jovi, because he didn't like the song this time.  Ellen DeG gives him a compliment anyway.  Kara the New Hotness says that everyone loves Lee, but the song is just too difficult tonight.   Simon the Cowell says that there are so many brilliant songs to choose from, but this version was verging on karaoke. 

Not good, Lee, not good tonight.

Seacrest says something ominous before sending it to commercial.  "Coming up, Michael Lynche sings Michael Jackson!"  And so I rack my brain to come up with MJ songs in the movies... I came up with two... "Ease on Down the Road" from "The Wiz" and "You Are Not Alone" from "Free Willy".  And both are bad ideas.  Bad, bad ideas.

Tonight he's singing "Will You Be There?"... what is that from?  Big Mike forgets the words in the run-through, and Jamie gives him a "CONTESTANT" shirt.   I stand corrected... I Wiki'ed it, and this is the song from "Free Willy".  Not as bad of an idea, then.  Not a bad song... and not bad tonight for Big Mike.

Randy the Jackson says it was just "aight" for him.  America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres says it was from the great, classic film, "Free Willy".  Then she says the song was predictable.  Kara the New Hotness didn't care for it, and Simon the Cowell is having a hard time connecting "A whale called Willy and that song".  Insert obligatory "willy" joke here, which they do.

Tonight begins the duet portion of the season.  C'Bosox and Lee DeWyze are doing "Falling Slowly" from the movie "Once", which is the song that defeated the nominated songs from "Enchanted" in the 2008 Academy Awards.  Personally, I think its because "How Do You Know" and "Happy Working Song" split the vote.  That awards show featured both Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, and Kristin Chenoweth (ahh)... good times.

This song tonight?  Pretty good.  Both on guitar, singing to each other, and it was very well done.  Randy the Dawg loved it.  Ellen DeG called them "the new Captain & Tennille".  Kara the New Hotness said it was one of the best moments of the season.  Simon the Cowell says it was fantastic. 

Seacrest teases us and says ,"Up next, Casey James with a song from 'The Graduate'!"   I am predicting "Mrs. Robinson", The Lovely Steph Leann is going with "Sounds of Silence".  And like usual, I'm right.  Jamie Foxx pulls an Usher and says, "Sing to me.  Seduce me."  Then hands him an "ARTIST" shirt.

Sitting on stage, CJ busts out a mandolin, tones it down a little and plucks out "Mrs. Robinson".  I do like this song... its not one of my favorites.

By the way, the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced.--"The Graduate"?  Overrated.  Pretty good film, but shouldn't be ranked in the Top Ten Best Film Ever In The History Of The Entire Earth and Hollywood Combined! lists that come out from time to time.  Also terribly overrated?  "Shrek" and its sequels, "Meet the Parents" and its sequels and "Gone with the Wind".  Just keepin' it real, yo. 

Randy the Dawg asks him what made CJ choose the song, and immediately points to Kara the New Hotness, which embarrasses CJ and Kara the New Hotness at the same time.  Says it was pretty good.  Ellen DeG liked this week, and how different it was.  Kara the New Hotness says this performance is him fighting to stay in the competition.  It was a good choice.  Simon the Cowell didn't think the song had much substance and a little lazy for CJ.

The Lovely Steph Leann points out that we've already heard "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" and "I Believe I Can Fly" this year, so those are out. 

Crystal Bowersox is doing the "Caddyshack" classic, "I'm Alright".  What?  Seriously?  This could either be fantastic or horrible, much like the new A-Team movie.  Jamie Foxx is talking about the song, and it might be the first time the words "Kenny" and "Loggins" have ever passed through the lips of Jamie Foxx. 

And as 80s sounding as the original song, C'Bosox does it almost rock to rockabilly... and it sounds great.  I would think to fully appreciate this song, you'd have to be very familiar with the original... and if Simon Cowell was struggling with what "Free Willy" and "The Graduate" was, this song might be beyond his comprehension.

Randy the Dawg says it wasn't his favorite performance, but liked how she changed it up.  Ellen DeG says the song is better now.  Kara the New Hotness says Ellen DeG is right.  Simon the Cowell says she's back in the game. 

One more duet, and its "To Really Love a Woman" as done by Casey James and Big Mike.  Though it starts out pretty good, CJ is a little breathy.  And then Big Mike kicks in... and to me, brings the song to another level.  On this classic Bryan Adams song, Casey James sounds good.  Big Mike sounds great.  I'm digging this song performance.

Randy the Dawg says they sounded really good.  Ellen DeG says, "As a matter of fact, yes I have loved a woman".  America's Favorite Lesbian, everyone!  Kara the New Hotness says the duets tonight were incredible.  Simon the Cowell agreed. 

Seacrest says that tomorrow night, Daughtry and Fantasia come home to Idol, and then says that Bon Jovi is performing, to which The Lovely Steph Leann throws both hands up and screams "BON JOVI!!!".  Looks like there is at least one song we won't be fast forwarding through.

For me tonight... Crystal & Lee's duet... Big Mike & CJ's duet... Crystal Bowersox's "I'm Alright"... Big Mike's "Will You Be There"... Casey James' "Mrs. Robinson"... Lee DeWyze's "Kiss from a Rose".

Aaaaaaaaaand.....

We're back for some results

Our top four, singing songs from the movies. This is what they were born to do.  This is so important to them.  This is what they have been dreaming about their whole lives, and it means everything to them, to heal the world with their music. 

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL RESULTS!!!!

Seacrest is out onstage, telling us that 37,000,000 votes came in last night.  And tonight, Bon Jovi is onstage, plus Fantasia is here, and Daughtry is here to sing too!  Erin the Marine Wife is squealing in her corn flakes right now.

So let's get it started, right?  And how do we do that?

The Lovely Steph Leann is deliberating on whether I can fast forward through Fantasia

She gives the okay

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Ford commercial

And here we are, seeing Big Mike, C'Bosox, Lee and CJ sitting upon the Silver Stools of Safety.  We get a quick recap of how big of a deal it is to have the Idols go home, as we see The Widower Danny Gokey, Bo Bice, Taylor Hicks, Carrie Underwood, Kris Allen and more in their seasons as they are in their hometowns.

The camera cuts to the families of the Idol Four, sitting on the Big Blue Couch onstage, as Seacrest is continuing to kill as much time as he can.   Dim the lights!  Big Mike and CJ are announced first.  Then C'Bosox and Lee.  After the nationwide vote, Casey James is.... safe and in the Top Three!  He heads to the Big Blue Couch and joins his family.

Fast forward through commercials

Now, for my prediction to come true, with Crystal Bowersox beting eliminated two weeks from the finals, putting Casey James and Lee DeWyze eventually into the finals, C'Bosox would have to go home tonight.

Daughtry comes onstage... if you just cocked your head a little and flinched from an ear piercing scream, that was Erin the Marine Wife seeing this.  That girl loves loves loves her some Chris Daughtry.  Then again, who doesn't?

Not fast forwarding through Daughtry, as commanded by The Lovely Steph Leann

Halfway through, she gives the okay

Fast forwarding through Daughtry

Fast forwarding through commercials

Back to results... dim the lights!  Big Mike stands up.  Lee DeWyze stands up.  And then to Crystal Bowersox.  After the nationwide vote... Lee DeWyze is in the Idol Three with Casey James.  He goes to the Big Blue Couch with DeFamily.

Fast forward through commercials

And we're back... and who's rocking the stage?  How about Bon Jovi.  I don't even try to fast forward through this one... Jon Bon Jovi is a card carrying member in good standing in The Colin Firth Club and probably one of the longest tenured members to boot.

Seacrest (on screen):  So you guys have been around 25 years!
Jon Bon Jovi (on screen): We've crossed generations at this point
The Lovely Steph Leann (on couch, in a whisper):  That's right. That's right.

Fast forward through commercials

Now, let's get to results.  Dim the lights.  The person in the Idol Three is... Crystal Bowersox.  Big Mike goes home tonight.  The Lovely Steph Leann is "awwww...."ing at the camera focused on Big Mike's babymama in tears.

So next Tuesday, its Lee vs Casey vs Crystal... the Idol Three.

Idol Inspires... and Gives Back

Here I am, its a Wednesday night.  Idol Gives Back is already on, but I haven't seen the performance show.  Its 10 after 7, and I planned it that way.  I'm about to pick up the remote, and watch the performances... then immediately go to the Idol Gives Back show, though I'm not sure we'll see any results this time... when they did this a few years back, they didn't eliminate anyone, they just combined that weeks votes with the following week and dropped 2 people. 

I want to be able to fast forward through some of these performances if desired... so its easier while watching it on DVR.  I have the power, oh yes, I have... the power. 

THIS

IS

AMERICAN

IDOL

Its "Inspirational Song" week here on Idol, but don't think you'll be hearing stuff from Amy Grant or Third Day or Stevie Curt Chapman... no, this is when you just pick songs that... well, inspire you.  Personally, if I were a singer and on Idol, I do one of two songs:

"Standing Outside the Fire." by Garth Brooks.  I think its the video of the Downs kid running on the track team that does it for me.  Oh, and Garth just looks cool with fire all around him.

OR


"Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield.  I do this one only if I were a chick.  Which I'm not.  Digressing....

Its our Top Seven singing this week... Big Mike, C'Bosox, Tim-may, Aaron, CJ, Lee De and Siobhan.  And mentoring them this week?  Alicia Keys.  Okay, so, have you ever heard the song "Falling"?  I'm sure you have... it was every other song on the radio some years back... and don't get me wrong, her voice is absolutely beautiful and haunting... but "Falling" is a terribly written song.  Just my two cents.  Who said "Fergalicious?"  Shut up.

CJ is up first.  Your first clue that this week is not "Inspirational" but "Songs That Make You Feel Good" is that Casey James is doing "Don't Stop", the classic by Fleetwood Mac.  This is one of my least favorite Fleetwood Mac songs... personally, I'm a big fan of "Gypsy", "Rhiannon" and "Say You Love Me"... though who doesn't love "Go Your Own Way", especially because of the bitterness behind it--let's face it, everyone slept with everyone in that group.

Randy says the song was good, but not the best.  Cindy Jo disagrees.  She would vocalize it, except for the drooling.  America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres busts out a real critique... "You have to be great, and I don't think anyone is going to remember that tomorrow".  Kara the New Hotness is frustrated because he's better than that.  Simon the Cowell says he wasn't inspired at all.  And I can agree with that.

Lee DeWyze is doing Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer", which you'd know because it goes "Li la li... (crash) li la li li li la la la la li (crash).  I like that song, but for me, you can't beat "Sounds of Silence" and "Hazy Shade of Winter" (though I prefer The Bangles 1987 version from the Andrew McCarthy/Jami Gertz/RDJr masterpiece of drugginess, "Less Than Zero").  Yes, yes, "Mrs Robinson" is good too.

What is this song about?  Its about overcoming loneliness and poverty in New York City.  So sez Wikipedia.

Randy the Dawg really liked it.  Ellen DeG says it was great, the best of the night so far.  Kara the New Hotness says Lee has his moment tonight.  Simon says that two performances in, it was the best of the night... and then says it was sincere, emotional and inspirational.

Timmy Urban is doing "Better Days" by The Goo Goo Dolls, one of those bands that, almost 20 years later, they keep putting out likable songs.  My personal favorite?  "Black Balloon", though I've admitted that I haven't a clue what its about... didn't stop me from ranking it as one of the saddest songs ever. 

"Slide", however, is a great, great driving song.

Tim-may Urban is having, shall we say, pitch problems.  Randy says it was just so-so.  Ellen DeG compares him to soup that sometimes she likes and sometimes she doesn't... and tonight, she didn't.  Kara the New Hotness didn't like it.  Simon the Cowell is finding it difficult to believe in him, and thinks it was a step back.

Oh dear.  Oh dear, oh dear... "I Believe I Can Fly" by R. Kelly is what Aaron Kelly chose.  Directly from the soundtrack to the groundbreaking motion picture "Space Jam".  You know how some people have said they've never seen Star Wars?  Well, I've never seen "Space Jam".  I'm okay with that.

You know which song I like by R. Kelly?  "Ignition (remix)".  That song rules.  Especially when I start singing to The Lovely Steph Leann, "No I'm not tryin to be rude, but hey pretty girl I'm feelin you the way you do the things you do, remind me of my Lexus coup..." though by the time I get five words into it, she's already given me a stern look. 

Aaron Kelly's version was terrible.  I don't know what Randy the Dawg is hearing, liking it, but wow.  That was dreadful.  Ellen DeG believes Aaron can fly.  Kara the New Hotness loved it.  Simon the Cowell admires the guts to take on that song, but didn't like the performance at all. 

Do you want to know Whitney Houston's worst song?  And Mariah Carey's worst song ever?  Its the same song.  And Siobhan Magnus is doing it tonight... from "The Prince of Egypt", its "When You Believe".  I hate this song, I really do.  I really, really do.

Okay, I'll say this... she's got a great voice.  She sings the song decent enough. But this song... is just terrible.  Just terrible.  I miss the Siobhan from the early weeks of the show... its like she listened to her own hype and wanted to morph into something more "radio friendly", and by doing so, lost what made her awesome. 

Randy the Dawg didn't like it all that much.  Ellen DeG loved it.  Kara the New Hotness said "Technically, it was good.  But it was theatrical".  Simon didn't like it either. 

Big Mike is doing "Hero" by Chad Kroeger.  Once again, from a movie, this time from "Spiderman".  Is this "Song That Make You Feel Good" or "Songs That Come From Movies But Also Make You Feel Good" Week?

Not a huge fan, but after this night, its the almost the best of the junk.

Randy the Dawg liked it.   Ellen DeG liked it.  Kara the New Hotness didn't like it.  Simon the Cowell said it was sung well, and comments that it was from Spiderman.

And in the pimp spot. Crystal Bowersox is ready to blow us all away. I heard she was doing "People Get Ready", and immediately I thought of Crystal Lewis Rapture-Jam, "People Get Ready (Jesus is coming)" and I was all pumped.

Well, this is actually the version from the 60s by The Impressions.  The first verse is sung acapella and Oh Em Gee.  Wow.  Wow.  Wow wow wow.

Sans instrument for the first time, she just blows it away.  And she ends up crying at the end.  And it was so freaking awesome, I'm doing something that I haven't done all year... I'm rewinding it to watch it again. 

Sometimes you see a performance that is just... well, magical.  Amazing.  Unbelievable.  And tonight, Crystal Bowersox just did one of those, one that will be tossed into the ranks when they do those "Best Idol Performances Ever" lists. 

Randy the Dawg says "That was unbelievable" and gives her a standing O.  Ellen DeG says she's beautiful and loved the song.  And DVR cuts out before I hear Kara the New Hotness and Simon speak, but I can only assume they went nuts too.  I just did. 

Tonight...  Crystal Bowersox.  Everyone else didn't matter.

Coming quickly... watching Idol Gives Back...

And here we go...

To give us a heading of how great this show is going to be, its He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected and The First Lady, Michelle.   I just threw up in my mouth.

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL

GIVES BACK!!!!

I wonder when He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected will start giving back... taxes, maybe?  Personal freedoms?  Government control?  I'll stop before I start kicking things around The Cabana living area.

Seacrest reminds us we can make a difference.  I'm wondering what the over/under is on how many times i'm going to fast forward tonight?  Plus 400? 

Seacrest is hosting, but Queen Latifah is co-hosting over in Pasadena.  I used to totally dig her talk show when it was on.  Tonight... the Black Eyed Peas!  Carrie Underwood!  Joss Stone!  Annie Lennox!  More!  Yeah!

The time is 8:30, so I wonder how fast I'll shoot through this 2 hour show.  Mary J. Blige and Alicia Keys are here tonight too!

Fast forward through the Top 12 reunited (and it feels so good) group song

Fast forward through Jennifer Garner's report on what Idol Gives Back has done for Kentucky

Fast forward through Posh Spice and Seacrest

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Capt Sulley's pleading for Idol Gives Back

Seacrest banters with Jonah Hill and Russell Brand.  Not a funny bit.

The Top Seven sit on the Couch of Anxiety, all dressed in white as per usual Idol Gives Back dress code.  Siobhan Magnus isn't used to such bright happiness.

Back over to Queen Latifah, who introduces The Black Eyed Peas.  I'm completely alone in my chair, and out loud I just said "What the freak is Fergie wearing?"  This song is a prime example of artists who sound great on the radio and in studio but onstage... uh... not really...

Fast forward through The Black Eyed Peas rockin' that body

Todd Bridges is in the audience.  How did he get there?  Shouldn't he be parking cars?

Fast forward through Malaria's greatest hits

Fast forward through commercials

Finally... some results.  I thought they might push back an elimination until next week, but nay nay.  And in another only slightly funny bit, George Lopez is onstage.  Let's dim the lights. 

Lopez then walks to the judges, as if one of them is getting voted off.  He then takes some great shots at both Randy and Kara the New Hotness... Lopez then takes another shot at Kara's affections for Casey James, which then the camera pans to CJ, who grimaces.  He didn't like that at all. 

Seacrest then introduces Lopez as "Erik Estrada", which made me laugh out loud.

Fast forward through the Ford commercial

Now, really dim the lights.  CJ and Crystal Bowersox join Seacrest in the middle of the stage.  CJ looks grim, he knows he's in the Bottom Three or Two or whatever they'll do.  He's standing next to C'Bosox.  And in shocking news, Casey James heads to the Silver Stools of Shame, Crystal Bowersox lives to fight another day.

Aaron Kelly and Lee DeWyze come to the middle... which puts Aaron Kelly in the Bottom Three.  By the way, I called that while Seacrest was still talking.   Aaron heads to the Silver Stools of Shame.

Back to Queen Latifah, lets hear...

No, Fast forward through Jeff Beck and Joss Stone

Fast forward through dying mothers in Africa

Fast forward through commercials and Ban Ki-Moon, the Sect General of the U.N.  Yeah, thats how you get me to donate.  Put the U.N. support behind it.  You could have gotten Bernie Madoff and I would have given it more creedence.

And now, Morgan Freeman.  Can I just tell ya, I think he grand kids must have the absolute best time during story hour with Grandpa.   

Fast forward through Mississippi's poverty kids

Fast forward through Alicia Keys

Fast forward through commercials

Seacrest banters again with Russell Brand and Jonah Hill.  Jim Carrey makes an appearance... and seriously, he looks OLD.  And why break up with Jenny McCarthy?  Wow.

Queen Latifah introduces Carrie Underwood, singing the song "Change".  This strikes me as a song that is going to inspire me, and they'll probably show video of kids.  She looks ravishing... but...

Fast forward through Carrie Underwood.  No background montages of kids, I'm guessing Carrie is too big of a star to have the camera not on her now.

Fast forward through Hungry People montage

Fast forward through a bunch of poverty stricken kids in church

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Bill and Melinda Gates

Fast forward through who I consider one of the least funny people in America, Wanda Sykes

Back to results.  Siobhan, Timmy and Big Mike join Seacrest in the center of the stage.  One will head to the Silver Stools of Shame.  Siobhan is safe.  She goes back to the Couch of Safety.  Big Mike is safe.  Timmy Urban goes over to the Silver Stools of Shame, joining Aaron Kelly and CJ

Fast forward through David Cook

Fast forward through poor kids in Ethiopia

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Annie Lennox in Africa

Fast forward through Annie Lennox, still in Africa

Fast forward through Annie Lennox singing.  She might still be in Africa, who knows.   Her song, "No More I Love You"... one of the Top Ten Worst Songs in the History of the World, in my opinion.  Just saying.

Fast forward through commercials

And we're back.  Its 9:07, and I've gone through 1:52 in just over 30 minutes... back to Queen Latifah and a bunch of others singing "Stairway to Heaven"

Fast forward through Queen Latifah and a bunch of others singing "Stairway to Heaven"

And I fast forwarded right to the end of the DVR recording.  Its 9:09, and I quickly go to Fox 6 to see who gets kicked off... and the show is still going.  Queen Latifah is standing with Sir Elton John, who doesn't look much older than Jim Carrey that we saw early.

Elton John sits to sing "Your Song"

Fast forward through... wait... crap.  I'm watching this live.

Tis okay, though... I can handle this one.  I dig early Elton, before we all knew he was singing to a guy.  I do like that Elton John is on the show, even though he called the show "incredibly racist" after a Season Three Bottom Three featured black contestants Jennifer Hudson, LaToya London and Fantasia (Jennifer Hudson went home).

And a commercial shows that Kristin Chenoweth to be coming back to "Glee" soon.  Looks like I might be watching "Glee" again.  If Kristin Chenoweth was on a show called "An Hour of Watching Leaves Dry", I'd watch it. 

Aaron Kelly is safe, by the way.  I think Timmy Urban is done for the season.

And.... as usual, I'm right. 

Because they were pressed for time, I'm sure, as its now 9:24, they don't even let Tim Urban sing the final song.  They show his "journey" clips, and then cut out.  And thats it for Idol Gives Back.

Okay, okay, here's the number to donate if you want... 1-877-IDOL AID and here's the link if you want to donate.

Idol Magic

Finally... it took the fourth episode to get it to happen... but, as it should be, The Lovely Steph Leann is on the couch, curled up in a black, fleece Alabama Power blanket, comfy.  I, in the recliner, laptop and keyboard in front of me.  

And tonight?  The Happiest Talent Show on the Tube is in The Happiest City in Florida, close to The Happiest Place on Earth... its Orlando... its Florida.... and...

THIS IS AMERICAN

IDOL

Tonight's guest host?  The Ashley Judd Club member Kristin Chenoweth.  Lurvs me some K'Chen. 

First up... Theo Glinten... who is like a black The No-Longer Ambigiously Gay Adam Lambert, only without being as original (and I'm guessing as talented) as The No-Longer Ambigiously Gay Adam Lambert.  We've got this ornament that goes on our Christmas tree that is like a star, with about ten points on it, and on each point is a little circle of glass.  I think Theo wrapped that ornamant on his right eye.  And added a feather.

He's singing screaming "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benetar.  The Lovely Steph Leann grimaces.  When Simon says no, and Kara the Hotness starts to say no, Theo ends up trying to sing something else.  Randy says no too.   And he can't find his way out... and when he does, he starts wiping his eyes.  He claps with the palms of his hands, fingers never touching.  Yikes.

Heading into commercial break, we are giving the tease of several heartbreaking backstories... Cindy Jo grabs her Kleenex.

Kara and K'Chen have made a pact to provide the girl power today, as they suddenly become besties somehow, annoying Simon in the process, and entertaining Randy the Dawg for the day.

And one after another were told no... "you walked in in a cocktail dress, and then sang like you sat on a cat..." says Simon to a pink frocked chick who didn't make it.

Here's a guy who has 2 children, one of which has autism.  He's a big, sorta black dude who gets a little teary about his blessings of his children and the struggles to get the best care for his son.  .  And when Big'un goes in the audition room, Junior wants to follow, and when Mom gets him, he starts crying, "I want to go with Daddy!"  Cindy Jo is wailing at this very moment.  I can hear her

Seth Rollins sings "Someone to Watch Over Me", and gets it done nicely.   Kara and Kristin are both swaying peacefully, and Kristin loves the Broadway song.  Kara wants to hear more.  Simon says that it was good.  Randy suggests more exertion, but liked it. 

Ah, the obiligatory shot of Cinderella's Castle, then a sweep of the crowd, several people saying, "I'm the next American Idol!" and "I'm so good!"  And of course, lots of tears.  Lots of tears. 

Jermaine Purifoy auditioned in Season 7, but didn't make it.  But now, he's back, from outer space, he just walked in to find that sad look upon your... sorry, wrong song.   Anyway, he's doing Tony Bennett, and though he's not terrible, he's really not bad.  I kinda like the guy.  Simon is nodding, Kristin liked his pure tone, and Randy agreed, saying, "The best I've heard this audition season."  Kara says it was all honest.  Simon says, "The chicks will like you!"  Welcome to Hollywood, Jermaine!

One contestant remains on Day One.  Shelby Dressel, 18, from Avon Park, Florida, and at birth, her 7th cranial nerve was undeveloped.  Though really pretty, great hair and big smile, the right side of her face is slightly sagging due to that condition.

"Turn Me On" by Norah Jones is her song of choice.  Again, not terrible, but not bad.  I like Shelby, but maybe its more of the whole "overcoming thing" not the voice... and then she forgets the words, she curses then says, "ohmigod... I'm sooooo sorry!"   The judges laugh, and they still all like her.  "With a small y, yes," Simon says.  They all agree.

All in all, 18 from Orlando make it on Day One, as opposed to only 13 from two days in Chicago, and maybe 20ish from Atlanta...

Awwww.... and on Day Two, Kristin leaves the panel, heading back to New York City.  Stinko!!!



Jay Stone, sort of a Blake Lewisy kinda guy, is going to be doing "Come Together" by the Beatles... he does the beatbox, gets the rhythm going, though I'm not sure he's getting any of the words right beside "Come Together" and "over me".  Kara says it was pretty amazing, though Simon is feeling pretty soaked from the beatbox spittle. 

Randy asks Jay if he can actually sing, and he sings, "Ain't No Sunshine" with a little beatbox to it.  Kara and Randy get into it, while Simon is unamused.  Kara says yes, Simon says no, and Randy... Randy says... Randy says... yes. 

Gotta be careful... this guy makes it to Hollywood, and let's say he makes it to the audience voting rounds.  Can you say "Sanjaya"? 

Janell Wheeler sings "House of the Rising Sun", while Britany Starr James sings "America Boy" and Kasi Bedford does some Bonnie Raitt... all three sounded good.  all three make it to Hollywood.

Cornelius Edwards, who we've been shown in previews as the guy who will split his pants when he does a huge split, is singing "Rollin on the River" by Tina Turner.  He kinda yells it, he jumps, he lands on the ground and then looks up and says, "My pants done split!"   The Lovely Steph Leann is dying.  

"There may be no children after that," The Lovely Steph Leann says.  "Get some new pants and leave!" Randy says.  And... he makes it to Hollywood...

HERE COME SISTERS!!! And we know how this ends... one makes it, one doesn't.  Bernadette and Amanda Desimone live with their mom, helping with Bernadette's Salon... if I was in the welfare line, and asked for cheese, I'd get the gub-ment cheese... ask for butter, I'd get gub-ment butter... ask for Eva Longoria Parker, I'd get Amanda Desimone.

The elder sister, Bernadette, is singing "Hit the Road Jack", while Amanda starts with some Whitney (mistake) in trying "I Wanna Dance With Somebody".   Randy is intrigued, while Kara likes them both.  Randy finally says yes to both.  Kara says yes to both.  Simon would have said yes to Bernadette, but no to Amanda, but they make it anyway.  I was wrong... though we don't see them again, after Hollywood Week.

Jarrod Norrell is warming up.  Out in the parking lot.  Doing push-ups and making weird noises.  We know how this will end as well, don't we?   He starts into "Amazing Grace" and how does he do?  Put it this way... I see the blanket covering the face for the first time this season.  From under the blanket, The Lovely Steph Leann hollers, "THIS IS TERRIBLE!!!" and softly whispers "make it stop."

Kara says its terrible too, and the Jarrod says, "Are you serious?" then asks for "two more seconds... like, let me go, let me sing, (claps) y'all feel me, right?"  Security comes out, and Jarrod says that he just can't leave without a "yes".  So security hauls him out.  They cuff him.  All the other contestants are running.  He's still shouting, "They gotta take me out in cuffs... Randy acts like I can't sing..."

Simon then goes, "...yes or no...?"

Matt Lawrence is 25, and tells his story--he was the guy who had a bright future in high school, and ended up robbing a bank at 15.  He spent four years behind bars, and is almost in tears talking about it.  Cindy Jo is sobbing incessantly.

Matt wants to do something to make his parents proud, though I hope he actually doesn't sing, "Do I Make You Proud?"  He sings "Trouble" by Ray Lamontagne.  Its not bad, though... no one has stood out like crazy today, but he's like the others... not terrible, not bad, but hitting the high notes well enough.  And it seems very genuine, too, with all he's been through.

Simon says, "Brilliant.  It feels like you could have written that song."   Kara admires his control over his voice, while Randy also says he's genuine.  All three say "Yes".

Next week, Idol visits Los Angeles with Katy Perry and someone that is either Lady GaGa or Avril Lavigne, though I'm inclined to believe its the first one, as Avril hasn't been relevent since Daniel Powter was singing about his "Bad Day".

Out of the 31 that make it to Hollywood, here's who I really liked this time around... Seth Rollins... Jermaine Purifoy...  Shelby Dressel... Matt Lawrence

The 2008 Oscar Running Diary

The Oscars have begun with a cool little animated montage with references to about 100 films or more… and since it actually started at 730pm our time, and its actually 930pm our time… we’ll start from 930pm.

930pm… Jon Stewart is introduced as the host of the 80th Annual Academy Awards. I remain one of about 4 people in the world that doesn’t think he or the Daily Show is actually funny (mostly because its so inaccurate as “news”, which it never claims to be yet enjoys its status as a newscast)

933pm… Jon makes a few funny remarks, though.
--“’Away From Her’, a remarkable movie about a woman trying to forget her husband. Hillary Clinton called it the ‘feel good movie of the year’”
--“’Norbit’ got a nomination… too often, the Academy ignores movies that aren’t good”

935pm… Ah, there he goes. Political jokes. Its funny, he discusses issues and positions, then nudges a vote for Democrats. Somebody please tell me what Obama has done? Ever? Ever?

937pm… Here comes the awards! Jennifer Garner is up to present the first Oscar, that being the Costume award. I went with Atonement… and the winner is… Elizabeth: The Golden Age. It’s a two point category, and Stephanie and Nikki get it. Ashley, me and Mikey – Zero.

940pm… George Clooney is up now, looking debonair as always, to introduce a montage over the last 80 years of Academy Awards. I always think the montages are fun, honestly…

945pm… Anne Hathaway is joined by Steve Carrell. Anne has a total strangeness in dress. And for the 2nd award, it’s the Animated Feature category. Jon Stewart = not really funny. Steve Carrell = totally freakin’ funny.

948pm… I went with Ratatouille. And the winner is… Ratatouille! I’m 1 for 2 tonight, and pick up the 3 points. So does everyone else. Nikki & Stephanie are at 5 points, while Mikey, Ashley & myself are at 3 points. Brad Bird is Ratatouille’s director, and has a great speech.

950pm… Katherine Heigl is here for the makeup award, which is ironic because she does have a little bit too much rouge on. This is the movie Norbit was nominated for… but I went with Pirates 3. And the winner is… La Vie An Rose. Curse it all. One point goes to Mikey, which puts him at 4. I didn’t realize this was the Marion Cotillard movie, otherwise I would have gone with it… shucks.

953pm… The first of the five songs are up now, this one being “Happy Working Song” from Enchanted, one of the Top Ten Coolest Things of 2007. And Amy Adams, aka Total Hotness, is singing it! The Lovely Steph Leann has a grin the size of a Buick right now. This grin is nothing to what will be going on that lovely face when Amy Adams throws down to “That’s How You Know”.

958pm… The Rock is in the house! The People’s Champion! Yes, yes, mancrush. Shut up. Here comes the Visual Effects Award. I picked Transformers. And the winner is… The Golden Compass. And Nikki gets it… one point awarded, Nikki 6, Steph 5, Mikey 4, d$ and Ashleynipp have 3. My solace is that the movie made about 57 dollars at the box office, and half of that was popcorn.

10pm… Cate Blanchett is up for Art Direction. She’s one of those that sometimes, like tonight, can look totally gorgeous… and other times looks hideous. I chose There Will Be Blood in this one. The winner is Sweeney Todd. I am absolutely sucking wind tonight… just terrible. Steph Leann, Mikey and Ashleynipp get it, putting me in dead last. Nikki & Steph 6, Mikey 5, Ashleynipp 4, me 3.

1003pm… An Acting Award, one of the big ones, a four point category. They are replaying the Cuba Gooding Jr win for Jerry Maguire in 1997, which was absolutely awesome. Tonight? I picked Javier Bardem for “No Country for Old Men”. His role of Anton Chigurh was amazing. Personally? I’m rooting for Hal Holbrook, just because it was would be so cool to see him win one at 80 years old. The winner is? Javier Bardem. Four points for me, Steph Leann and Mikey. Steph has 9, Mikey has 8, I have 7, Nikki has 6, Ashleynipp has 4.

1013pm... Keri Russell appears, looking very elegant. Never thought she was all that good looking, but she does look classy tonight. This song she’s introducing is from “August Rush”, a little film that I’ve never seen, and most of you probably won’t see either.

1017pm… Owen Wilson, Academy Award nominee (for what?), is here for the Short Film category. I have no idea what I picked, Steph Leann has the ballots. The winner is The Mozart of Pickpockets. I didn’t pick that, I’m sure. Steph Leann gets it right… one more point for her. She now has 10 points overall. This guy who won the Oscar is talking, and I’m not sure if he’s trying to talk or cough something up, with his accent so thick.

1020pm… The Short Animated Film category is up, and I picked I Met The Walrus, whatever that’s about. The Oscar goes to Peter and the Wolf, which looked pretty awesome from the clip they showed. No one gets it right.

1024pm… Supporting Actress award, presented by last year’s supporting actor winner, Alan Arkin. This is a four point category, and I went with sentimental favorite Ruby Dee, from “American Gangster”. And the winner is… Tilda Swinton for “Michael Clayton”. I actually didn’t see that one coming, and Nikki takes the four points. Nikki and Steph Leann are tied at 10, Mikey has 8, I still have 7 and Ashleynipp has 4. Tilda looks terrible. I accidentally saw her nude in a film once, and it hurt my eyes. I turned the channel quickly.

1030pm… The teaser says “Stay tuned for Jessica Alba!” to which Steph Leann says “Jessica Alba will never be taken seriously again. Like she ever was. She hasn’t made a good movie in like, forever.” Jessica Alba is out to present the Scientific Technical Awards. We fast forwarded.

1032pm… Josh Brolin and James McAvoy are out together to present another award, this one being Adapted Screenplay. I went with “No Country for Old Men”. The winner is “No Country”! Its 4 points, and Steph Leann goes to 14, Mikey goes to 12, I have 11, Nikki stays at 10 and Ashleynipp has 8.

1039pm… “That’s How You Know” from Enchanted is being played, being sung by Kristen Chenoweth. Steph Leann’s grin went from really, really big to sort of a smile, now that Amy Adams isn’t singing it. Though she still has the head bobbing. Of course, if you are going to replace Amy Adams with anyone for this song, you can do a lot worse than Kristen Chenoweth.

1044pm… Dame Judi Dench and Dame Halle Berry are coming out and… oh wait, this is Jonah Hill and Seth Rogan. This is even better. And they are pretty funny… anyway, the award is for Sound Editing, and I picked The Bourne Ultimatum. And it wins! Another point for me! Steph Leann is at 15, Mikey stays at 12, I tie at 12, Nikki has 10 and Ashleynipp has 8 still.

1047pm… Seth and Jonah are still at it. The award is for Sound Mixing, and I went with Transformers, just cause I’d really like it to get something. And the winner is… The Bourne Ultimatum again. Stupid me… I should have picked this for both of these Sound awards. No one gets it this time around.

1051pm… The Best Actress Award is up next, the first 5 point category. I went with Julie Christie, only because she got tons of praise for this role… not that I have seen it, or will probably see “Away from Her”. I would give up the entire Oscar contest to see Laura Linney win an Oscar, though…. I luv luv luv Laura Linney’s acting. And the Oscar goes to Marion Cotillard, a heavy favorite… and no one picked her. Stupid foreigners gettin’ our awards. It was cute, though, with her walking off stage crying.

1059pm… Colin Farrell walks out, and almost slipped. He’s here to introduce the 4th nominated song from the little seen Irish film “Once”, it’s the song “Falling Slowly”. The song starts, I ask Steph Leann if I can fast forward, she looks at me funny with a “no”. So we listen to “Falling Slowly”. The might want to put the word “asleep” in the middle of the title.

1102pm… Jack Nicholson comes out… always a good time. Just hearing him talk cracks me up. He’s here to introduce the montage of “Best Pictures”.

1107pm… Either Renee Zellweger or Jewel just came out, I can’t tell. Though I think they might be the same person. Here’s the Film Editing Award, which I picked The Bourne Ultimatum. I got another one! Personally, The Bourne Ultimatum could have been a Best Picture nominee. Scorecard: Steph Leann 15, d$ 13, Mikey 12, Nikki 10 and Ashleynipp has 9.

1110pm… Jon Stewart: “Film editing… someone just took the lead in the Oscar pool based on a guess.” Yep.

1110pm… Nicole Kidman is out now. I used to be so into Nicole Kidman, though she’s kind of falling out for me. She’s still pretty, but I lean Kate Winslet now. This is some sort of Lifetime Achievement Award for an art director, one who’s 98. Robert Boyle gets an Honorary Oscar, and a standing ovation. It is cool, however, that they award someone who’s not an actor nor a director.

1118pm… Steve Guttenberg is going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Just sayin’.

1119pm… Penelope Cruz comes out to present another award. The Foreign Flick Prize. I think I picked the Polish film, Katlyn. The Counterfeiters from Austria gets it. Steph Leann picks it up, as does Mikey. Steph gets to 17 points, while Mikey goes to 14.

1122pm… A member of Steph’s “Colin Firth Club”, Patrick Dempsey comes out to introduce “So Close”, also from Enchanted. Luckily, Steph Leann allows me to fast forward through it.

1124pm… John Travolta, who should have gotten a nod in the makeup category for “Hairspray”, is giving out Original Song. Travolta’s face is heavily made up, and looks plastic. I picked “That’s How You Know” from Enchanted. The winner? “Falling Slowly” from “Once”. I wonder if Enchanted canceled each other out. Steph Leann is unhappy, calling the people who did win it “Losers”. The three points goes to Mikey, who now tied Steph Leann at 17. I’m at 13, Nikki stays at 10 and Ashleynipp still has 9.

1128pm… Me: If “Its Hard Out Here For a Pimp” can beat Bono for best song, then anything can happen in this category.

1130pm… Jon Stewart brings out the chick from the duo that just won best song. The guy got to talk, but the music cut them off, so Jon got her out to say her thank-you’s. That was actually kinda cool.

1131pm… Cameron Diaz comes out… remember what I said about Cate Blanchett? Yep. Cameron too. Our award now is Cinematography, and I went with There Will Be Blood. A 2 point category, its important to stay up with the leaders. And the winners are… There Will Be Blood! My total runs to 15, and Nikki finally gets up to 12! Mikey takes the lead at 19, Steph Leann is still at 17, and Ashleynipp breaks double digits with 11 points now.

1134pm… Two time Oscar winner and one time Chad Lowe wife, Hilary Swank! And here’s the legacy montage, and I’m sure a big ovation will be given to Heath Ledger. This one is always kinda sad. Sometimes you get the “I didn’t know that guy died!” reaction. This time it was Dabbs Greer, the old mad in “The Green Mile”. Sadly, we also lost Deborah Kerr. And the loudest reaction is given to Heath Ledger. Strangely, no Brad Renfroe mention.

1139pm… My latest Hollywood crush, Amy Adams, comes out with a “Academy Award nominee” label… it took us a second to remember “Junebug”, which I still haven’t seen. The award for Best Score is being given out. I picked Atonement. Rock! The winner is Atonement! 3 points go to me… and everyone else but Ashleynipp. Mikey has 22, Steph has 20, I have 18, Nikki has 15 and Ashleynipp is at 11.

1143pm… Tom Hanks, a two time winner, is up next, giving out the Documentary Awards, first the Documentary Short Film. Actually, they cut to soldiers in Baghdad, naming the nominees and giving out the award. Great move. I picked Sari’s Mother. Sari’s mom has it going on. You know that Sari. The winner is… Freeheld. Crapola. At least no one else picked it either. Except for Michael. His lead goes to 3 points, now with 23 total. Steph Leann screams “Mikey… you suck!!” And, even better, Freeheld is all about gay marriages. Mikey would get that one right.

1147pm… Tom Hanks now has the Documentary Feature Award. I picked No End in Sight, because an anti-American, anti-military movie is right up Hollywood’s alley. Taxi to the Dark Side, another anti-military film gets the win. Here comes the anti-American speech! Ashleynipp gets the 2 points, bringing her total to 13.

1150pm… “After Gitmo’s atrocities…” says the guy holding the award. That’s right, after four meals per day, prayer rugs, religious freedoms and all, how terrible it must be for these terrorists who want nothing more to blow up and destroy American lives.

1151pm… Harrison Ford walks out in all his stature. Are you pumped for Indy 4? Me too. He’s got the award for Original Screenplay, and its worth 4 points. I picked Juno. Unfortunately, we all picked Juno. Diablo Cody wins for Juno, and even gets a standing ovation. Mikey still leads with 27, Steph has 24, I have 22, Nikki has 19 and Ashleynipp trails with 17.

1156pm… The Best Actor Award is up now, another 5 point category. I think most of us picked Daniel Day-Lewis. Helen Mirren is up to give the award, and I think even though she’s like, 84 years old, she’s remarkably stunning. And she just said the word “cajones”.

12am… Daniel Day-Lewis, predictably, picks up the Oscar. Mikey jumps to an almost insurmountable 32 points, Steph has 29, I have 27, Nikki has 24 and Ashleynipp has 22 still.

1201pm… I think Daniel Day-Lewis is one of those actors that is highly underrated, and that no one mentions when they are talking about ‘Great actors’, but perhaps should. I mean, he doesn’t do a ton of work, but what he does is remarkable… he was the best thing about Gangs of New York, he was apparently great in There Will Be Blood, and he was awesome in Last of the Mohicans.

1204pm… It’s time for the Best Director Award. Last year, Scorsese won it, given to him by Coppola, Spielberg and Lucas. Someone in the room said, “I wonder if George Lucas wants their Oscars” to which, Drew Morris replied, “Yes, but I HAVE BILLIONS!!!” Funniest line of the night.

1206pm… I went with the Coen Brothers for “No Country For Old Men” for this award, and I was right. Another 5 points… for everyone but Nikki. Mikey has 37, Steph has 34, I have 32, Ashleynipp takes over 4th with 27 and Nikki is in danger of a First to Worst finish, still with 22 points.

1208pm… And finally… Denzel Washington comes out for the Best Picture. I went with “No Country for Old Men”. And the final Oscar goes to… “No Country for Old Men”. The final tally of the night? Michael wins it with 42 points, Steph Leann finishes 2nd again with a 39 point total. I end up with 37, Ashleynipp finishes with 27 and Nikki bombs out with 22.

So, that’s your 2008 Academy Awards… Michael is now a 4 time winner, though this one might have an asterisk on it, being over email and with only five participants, as opposed to the usual 12 or more people every year.

Well… I guess we’ll see you on Idol. I’m going to bed now.

Steph Leann (repeating this three times): “Stupid Michael”