Idols In It To Win It!

Just a warning... I have a very liberal amount of italics, statements in bold, lots of ellipses and sometimes all three in one sentence.  Its a grammatical nightmare.  Oh, and this has video on it, so if you reading on the Facebook, shift over to The Mothership and read it on mine own site.  Thanks.

The atmosphere in Hollywood is electric, is crazy, is pumped and geared for the Idols! 

The atmosphere in The Cabana?  Relaxed.  Well-fed.  Simple.  Quiet, except for The Lovely Steph Leann's subtle movements on the couch under her blankie, and the typing of this post.  Oh, and the show itself.  Its Thursday evening, The Lovely Steph Leann is back from a Pensacola trip, and for the first time in a long, long while, we are going to watch the show together, comments and all.

The Top Five await... The Soulful Jacob Lusk... Deep Voiced Scotty... Haley Cuteness... America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina... The Straight Adam Lambert... and Randy the Dawg wonders, "Who is in it to win it?"  Because some of the Idols are here not to win.  Right.

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL

And tonight's mentor!  Sheryl Crow, one of my top five favorite artists of all, all time.  I love, love love Sheryl Crow and am pumped she's on the show tonight... yes, yes, she had the toilet paper remark, but I still love me some Sheryl.  She helped define my college career.

TOP TEN FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONGS...

#10... "The First Cut is the Deepest" from "The Very Best of"

#9... "Strong Enough (live)" with The Dixie Chicks, from "Live from Central Park

Each of the Idols gets two songs, the first being a modern song, and the second being one from "Back in the day" as Seacrusty puts it.

First!  Modern Songs!

The Straight Adam Lambert is up first, singing.. "30 Seconds to... something".  To Mars?  To Morrow?  In it to win it?  Who knows.

Uncle Steven says, "You kicked that song's a**."  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg thought it showed where Blinky James can go as an artist.  The Straight Adam Lambert is in it to win it.  Dawg.

Now, The Soulful Jacob Lusk is ready to sing Idol winner Jordin Sparks song "No Air", a song that I can pretty much tell you that I not only know nothing about, I don't know that I've ever heard the entire thing.  Or part of it.  I do know that Chris Brown sang with Jordin on this--Rhianna says you can't beat that.  Ha!

This performance leads to the following exchange:

Me:  This... this sounds horrible.
Her:  What... what is he doing?  His dancing is... what? (pause).  They did this song on Glee.  I liked it on Glee. 

J-Lo liked it.  Randy the Dawg didn't like The Soulful Jacob Lusk's direction, and didn't like him trying to sing a duet song solo.  Uncle Steven Tyler loves his voice. 

TOP TEN FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONGS
#8... "Can't Cry Anymore" from "Tuesday Night Music Club"


#7... "Picture" with Kid Rock, from "The Very Best of"

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is taking on Carrie Underwood's tune, "Flat on the Floor", from the album "Carnival Ride".   We open the performance with a fiddle, and I like it already.  Then she starts to sing, and I love it.  Rock on.

The awesome Dr. Callie Torres of Seattle Grace Mercy
West Hospital.

The Lovely Steph Leann is giddy because she spots Dr. Callie Torres in the audience.  Seeing that FOX is an Idol show, I'm not sure that Seacrusty is going to introduce Dr. Torres to us.

Randy the Dawg declares America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina to be "in it to win it."  Steven Tyler says, "For 15, the sky is the limit!"  (The Lovely Steph Leann mutters, "She's 16, Steven, she's 16.")  J-Lo loved it.

Now, its time for Deep Voiced Scotty "the Body", and he'll be doing his country roots justice with Montgomery Gentry's "Gone". 

I declared this... were I of 17 or 18 years old, in this competition and singing with Sheryl Crow... I'm asking her out.  No stinkin' joke.  She'd say no, but I would walk out of there knowing I hit on Sheryl Crow, and that's good enough for me.

Once again, Deep Voiced Scotty is doing the country thang, and doing it very, very well.  Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg felt as if he were at a Scotty the Body concert.  And.. guess what, Deep Voiced Scotty's "in it to win it!!!"

We are back from break, and I wonder aloud if Haley Cuteness' boobs have their own number.  The Lovely Steph Leann grunts and says, "Yeah, they aren't that big." 

Haley is doing a Gaga song, an unreleased track that she was able to get permission from Lady G herself to sing.  Its "You and I", and Sheryl Crow loves it. 

Haley Cuteness starts on the steps, seated, and singing in her sultry voice.  She looks great, though I figure it wouldn't take much to convince me that she got her sparkly pants out of Pauly Mac's closet. 


What can I say?  I love Haley Reinhart now. 

The Lovely Steph Leann says, "You and I?  Its not really grammatically correct.  Lady Gaga needs to fix that.   I laugh heartily.

J-Lo didn't care for it.  What?  What?!  You dug Blinky James but didn't like Haley Cuteness?  Her issue is the same as Randy the Dawg's issue, which is, Haley shouldn't have done a song that no one knows about.   Uncle Steven says, "you are one perfect song away from being the American Idol... you need to find that song..."

TOP TEN FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONGS
#6... "A Change Would Do You Good" from "Sheryl Crow"


#5... "Anything but Down" from "The Globe Sessions"

Back in the Day Song Time!

The Straight Adam Lambert is tearing up while listening to "Without You" by Nilsson, to the point where he leaves the rehearsal studio sniffling.  Sheryl Crow and Jimmy Iovine both look at each other in bewilderment.  The original is a fantastic song, both by Nilsson and Pre-Skank Mariah Carey... how does Blinky James do?

With tears streaming down his face, you can judge this two ways... first, you can say that it was very heartfelt and honest, which led to his voice being shaky.  Or, second, you can say it just wasn't that great.  I kinda fall in between... it was an emotional song, and I liked it.  Didn't love it, but liked it.

Randy the Dawg agrees with me, and says that "this competition is yours to lose."  Uncle Steven said it was pitchy in a Blinky James sort of way, but still beautiful.  J-Lo loved it.

Seacrusty says, "Up next, The Soulful Jacob Lusk with a Nazareth hit!"  Wait... what?

The Lovely Steph Leann asks who Nazareth is, and I reply, "They do that song 'Love Hurts'... you know... love huuuurrrttss!  Love... something..." cause I couldn't remember the next line.  She says, "Uh, oh yeah... that one... sure."

Okay, so he starts out pretty good, strong, soft, but not too much... yet, he finished with a screech and a wail and too much.  The Lovely Steph Leann agrees.

Uncle Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg says, "that might have been the highest note ever sung on this stage!"  What are they listening to? 

MY 4th FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG

"SOAK UP THE SUN" FROM "C'MON C'MON"

We notice Sir Anthony Hopkins in the audience, and Seacrusty does too as he introduces him, along with Kelly Preston.. and Dr. Torres sits a few seats away, and gets no love.  Because she gets a check from ABC.

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is doing "Unchained Melody", which prompts The Lovely Steph Leann to say, "Really?  The Righteous Brothers have other songs that are just, if not more, fabulous!!" 

The original kind of bores me, and her version kinda does too.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg loved it.  Steven Tyler loved it. 

Deep Voiced Scotty's second song is "Always on My Mind" by Willie Nelson (though I think he said Elvis... maybe Elvis did this song, but Willie is the only one I know of...)  I grew up on old school country, so this song was a staple around my house.

Anyway, it sounded like Scotty, which meant it sounds country good.  Country strong.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg loved it.  Steven Tyler loved it. 

Seacrusty says, "Up next, Haley Cuteness takes on  The Animals!"

Me: I hope she doesn't do "House of the Rising Sun"
Her:  Well, sure... did The Animals do anything else?
Haley Cuteness:  I am doing The Animals' "House of the Rising Sun"

Sheryl Crow suggests Haley start out acapella.  I would say if Sheryl told me I should start out with a banana peel on my head and a booger on my left eyelid, I'd do it, at least when it comes to singing, so naturally Haley Cuteness starts the song sans instruments.

I'm not a fan of this song in its original form, but Haley has seemingly made this song sexy... which she seems to do with anything she sings.  Go Haley.

The Lovely Steph Leann observes that Dr. Callie Torres loved, judging by her woot woot'ness.  Randy the Dawg calls this the song of the night.  Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it. 

MY 3rd FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG

"EVERYDAY IS A WINDING ROAD" FROM "SHERYL CROW"

So here is how I rank the songs tonight, for my own personal preference... (1) America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's "Flat on the Floor"...  (2) Haley Cuteness' "You and I"... (3) The Straight Adam Lambert's "Without You"... (4) Deep Voiced Scotty's "Always on My Mind"... (5) Haley Cuteness' "House of the Rising Sun"... (6) The Straight Adam Lambert's "30 Seconds to Mars"... (7) Deep Voiced Scotty's "Gone"... (8) America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's "Unchained Melody"... (9) The Soulful Jacob Lusk's "Love Hurts"... (10) The Soulful Jacob Lusk's "No Air"

And for me, The Soulful Jacob Lusk needs to go home. 

AND NOW

THIS IS

THE AMERICAN IDOL

RESULTS

I fast forward to the next show and stop when the judges enter the stage... and The Lovely Steph Leann begins to shriek.  What?!  What?? I ask, and she is horrified.  Horrified by Jennifer Lopez's short skirt.  "Make her sit down so I don't have to see that!  But I wonder how much of her butt will be on that chair, because there's no way that skirt is going to cover her butt when she sits down... make her sit down!"

Seacrusty comes out and discusses Steven Tyler's new book, his autobiography, "Do You Hear The Noise In My Head."

Seacrusty:  Tonight!  J-Lo will be doing her latest smash single!
Me: That means you'll get to see that skirt again.
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Uuugghhh....

Group Song... fast forward

Commercial break.. fast forward

Ford Music Video... fast forward

Video with the Idols in Hell's Kitchen.  We actually watch this, even though its shameless self-promotion.  Its amusing.  They all cook omelets for Chef Ramsey's approval... and southern girl America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina gets the only good comment from Ramsey--that's good ol southern cooking at its finest.

And now, here's the new song from their new album... its Lady Antebellum's "Just a Kiss"... and I dare not touch the remote, lest I get divorced like, tomorrow. 

Up now, in another example of making a 10 minute show into an hour... a funny video about the Idol's decisions in fashion and picking songs.

MY 2nd FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG

"STEVE MCQUEEN" FROM "C'MON C'MON"

Now, let's get to the results!  Dim the lights!   The Straight Adam Lambert stands up, and after a review of last night, is sent to the other side of the stage to "start a group".  My prediction is the whole, two Idols on one side, two Idols on the other, and the remaining Idol will have to decide which group to join... they love to do it, and haven't done it so far this season. 

After Jimmy Iovine says, "Based on last night, I think America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina will be in the bottom three", America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is led to stand on the near side of the stage, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Aww!  She's about to cry!  Look!  Don't cry!!"

Commercial Break.  Fast Forward

Another Hell's Kitchen/Idol video.  We watch.

J-Lo's performance of her new single.  Fast Forward

Commercial Break.  Fast Forward.

More results!  Dim the lights!  The Soulful Jacob Lusk stands up.  After Jimmy Iovine doesn't give him much hope, he is asked to stand next to America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina, who is probably thinking "Crap!"  And now, Haley Cuteness is up for review.   She is sent over to join The Straight Adam Lambert. 

Finally, Deep Voiced Scotty stands.  Seacrusty says, "You have never been in the Bottom Two... and tonight?  No different... you are safe."   But, Seacrusty tells Deep Voiced Scotty to go stand with who he thinks is in The Bottom Two, and Deep Voiced Scotty says, "Don't do that, man, don't do that to me."  Seacrusty pulls him to The Straight Adam Lambert and Haley Cuteness, and says, "you are all three safe!"

Based on Seacrusty saying, "And you might be surprised at the results" earlier in the show, I say, "I am afraid America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is going home."   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "NO!  She can't go home!!!"

After 60 billion votes, the person going home tonight is... The Soulful Jacob Lusk.

 I breath a huge sigh of relief... I was actually nervous and my stomach was kinda twisty at the thought he would stay and America's Darlin Lauren Alaina would go home.  Whew. 

MY FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG EVER? 

 From the album "The Globe Sessions", its "My Favorite Mistake". 

The Chicks Have It... And Results! Your Finalists Chosen!!

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE RESULTS SHOW RESULTS

Last night, the Top 12 guys stormed through, and some made themselves front runners (Casey Abrams, The Soulful Jacob Lusk), some killing their chances altogether (JoDo?  That Tim Guy?)... but tonight, the chicks are doing their thing.
Out of the 12 chicks, only five will make the Finals, and perhaps one, perhaps not, will be chosen as a "Wild Card". 

J-Lo?  I'm not usually into Jennifer Lopez, but tonight?   Smokin'. 

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL

These chicks have to move and sing, because they have to be good enough to be one of the five best.   As Uncle Steven Tyler gives us this sentiment, The Lovely Steph Leann tells me, "He's a very... interesting individual."

We see the girls altogether onstage, and amazingly, the Pimp Spot, the final spot, goes to Pizza Tuscrato... Weird.

Alright, kicking things off tonight is TaTa Wilson, and she comes right on out with the soul  Interestingly enough, her name is Ta-Tynisa.  For whatever reason, they added the " - " to her name, because that " - " stuck between the "ta" and the "tynisa" was not there in the earlier rounds. 

Steven loved the song, J-Lo loved the song and Randy the Dawg thought it was just okay. I don't even know what the song was, to be honest.  Rhianna's "Only Girl in the World"?  I dunno.  I'm so out of touch with what's popular right now, cause I'm  to into podcasts and audiobooks. 

Seacrusty says, "She was moving the crowd!" and Randy the Dawg says, "I was the part of the crowd that wasn't moved."  And Seacrusty comes back with, "It takes alot to move you..."

Now its Noxema Agrabshowbow, with her interesting yellow dress that looks like Lady Gaga and a Chinese gown mated.  And she is going brave, because she's doing "Summertime" from Porgy & Bess, which is one of those "untouchable" songs... Fantasia did this song back in Season Two, and though it wasn't something I dug too much, Idol critics declare it one of the top two or three Idol performances ever. 

Gotta say, I'm just not a fan of Nameia.  I don't find her that attractive, I don't find her interesting, and her sound is... well, boring.  She can sing well enough, but she does nothing for me.  And she has Elliott Yamine teeth, before the grill work.

J-Lo loved the song.  Randy the Dawg compares it to Fantasia, like I knew he would, and liked the way she acted it out, but didn't think it was great over all.  Creepy Cool Uncle Steven thinks she sounds like early Ella Fitzgerald.

Before she was selling bathtubs.  Now?  Kendra Chantelle is performing on the Idol stage.  She struts out in black leather that fits really tight and stilletos that are really tall.  She could kill someone with those things.  Kendra is again singing a song I don't know that well, something about "Its Impossible" or whatever.  I do like her though.  Maybe its the leather.

Randy the Dawg said he thought he was worried when Kendra was singing a Christina (Aguilera?) song, and loved it.  Creepy Cool Uncle Steven thought the whole thing was hot. J-Lo thinks Kendra has heart, and that she belongs here.

Back from break, Rachel Zevita has tried and auditioned over and over and over and over (thats four times, by the way).  So now, Ra'Ze has her moment.  She slinks around the mic, tosses off her shawl and is left in a tiny little beaded red and black dress.  Her voice is very sultry, and she is taking on Fiona Apple's "Criminal", and I like it because its her own version.   Seriously, I can't believe I dig this as much as I do.

Wow. Ra'Ze might have almost just won me over.  Steven Tyler thought the song was a bit too Broadway, but loved the moves and style.  J-Lo (who now that I'm looking closer I can take back the "smokin'" remark) wished she could seen something more, and Randy the Dawg didn't like it either. 

Really?  Its one of those "be more original!" and when you are, "we don't like it!" kinda thing.

Karen Rodriguez is this season's Latina Lover.  And The Lovely Steph Leann just groans when K-Rod starts out with "There's a hero..."  The Lovely Steph Leann just moans, "I hate this song."   We both notice that K-Rod is noticing that she is singing Mariah's version, exactly, just throwing some Spanish in the middle. 

And I would prefer Mariah's version.  Yes, K-Rod has the vocals, but the song is boring.   Her mom, who may or may not be legal, is in the audience applauding.   Mom-Rod is excited.

J-Lo ways, "Wow!" over and over.  Randy the Dawg loved it.   Steven Tyler thought it was a great performance, even suggesting that K-Rod and The Soulful Jacob Lusk get together.

Lauren Turner is next.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "She has a fun voice.  I hope she does something good."  And Lauren Turner is doing a song that, once again, I'm not familiar with.  I gotta start listening to 103.7 The Q more often.   Also not sure that Lauren Turner should be wearing that short of a dress. 

Always makes me wonder if the background singers ever want to break out and do something on their own.  Its obvious they can sing, otherwise how would they land the gig backing up five to ten performances a week? 

The song was interesting.  Randy the Dawg says, "That's how you do it!"  Steven Tyler thinks it was "spectacular".  J-Lo thinks Lauren Turner's voice is "undeniable". 

Ashthon Jones's turn.  I really like this girl, and she starts with... oh, I dunno.  Beyonce?  Alicia?  Rhianna?  Who knows.  Whatever it is, she's tearing it up, giving the song personality, having fun, getting into it, which is awesome.  I dig me some Ashthon.

Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it, saying, "you have all the makings of a diva."  Randy the Dawg liked it quite a bit too.  He didn't love the song, but thought she did a cool job with it.  And its a Monica song, by the way. 

Seacrusty tells us "after the break, some Kelll Clarkson and Alicia Keys!"  This might be awesome.  Or awful.

My fave chick, Julie Zorilla starts with "Breakaway", a song that I could really do without.  Strangely enough, she has one of the more modest, calm outfits of the night.  I tell The Lovely Steph Leann, "I never liked this song much.  And not her version either."  And she says, "I really liked her.  Why oh why did she do this song?"  The camera shows the judges, and she says, "I don't think they liked it either."

Oh, Julie... that was not good.  Not good at all.  And I might be looking for a new favorite chick. 

When the judges ask you "How you doing up there?" its never good.  J-Lo tries to lift her up, saying it was okay.  Randy the Dawg says, "You didn't bring anything different to it, and didn't sing it nearly as good."  Steven Tyler thought the chorus was great, but the song was a bad choice.

Here is Haley Reinhart, doing Alicia Keys' "Fallin".  And for a pasty white chick, she starts strong.  And I'm a little surprised about how good this song sounds from Haley.  Both of us are really liking her performance, and usually, no one can do "Fallin'" correctly.

Randy the Dawg didn't think she did anything new with it.  Steven Tyler disagreed completely, and loved the rasp and sexiness.  J-Lo agrees with Uncle Steven. 

So now, 15 year old Thiamegia has her shot at glory.  And she starts out with... a ballad?  Really?  Can no one sing anything faster?   The Lovely Steph Leann and I have no clue what that song even was, but we both think she did an excellent job at it.

Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg loved it, saying the tone was perfect. 

The teens continue, with 16 year old Lauren Alaina.  And we expect nothing less than something like a Reba McEntire song, and we get Reba's "Turn on the Radio".  By the way, Lauren Turner, this is how a girl with some curves should dress... not a tiny little skirt, but some great jeans and a hot top. 

Love me some Lauren Alaina, even though I wasn't fond of the song.   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I liked Lauren's version better, to be honest." 

J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg says she has a natural talent, and doesn't think Lauren even realizes how good she it, with a Kelly Clarkson crossed with Carrie Underwood kind of sound (huge compliment).   Steven Tyler loved it.   And when Seacrusty comes up, Lauren Alaina calls him "Peaches". 

And what's this girls name?  Peepee Tuscany?   Either way, she's taking on "I'll Stand By You" from The Pretenders.   And as Pia sings, she moves her arms up and down, and The Lovely Steph Leann is yelling, "Stop moving your arms!  Stop!  It looks like you are swimming!" 

I'm bored.

The Lovely Steph Leann then gives me a lesson in saying, "you know, all these chicks are singing, and I see how they want to do that high note, but if you aren't building to that, then you shouldn't do that note.  You don't want to sing down here, then SING UP HERE ALL OF A SUDDEN!!!!!"   I am amused by her.

The judges freaking love Peepee Tuscany. 

Okay, so my money, here's who I liked, in order... Lauren Alaina... Peepee Tuscany... Haley... Ashthon... Thiamegia... Ra'Ze... Kendra... Lauren Turner... Julie Z... K-Rod... TaTa... Naboo Alahwapopo...

But here's how I think it will shake out... I think Lauren Alaina, Thiamegia and Nameia Adeleoepo are locks.  I think Peepee Tuscany and Ashthon might take those other two spots, but Kendra and Haley are right there too.  I think Ra'Ze and TaTa don't have a chance.  Unsure about K-Rod, and Julie Zorilla might have built up enough credit from her previous awesomeness to get in, or at least be a Wild Card pick. 

Got two meetings Thursday night, so I'll probably just mention the Top Ten and the Wild Card picks as an addition to this posting... check here Friday morning for Semi-Final wrap up thoughts...

THE RESULTS!!!!

So... its the largest cut Idol has ever made on this stage of the competition... and thankfully we have DVR so we can fast forward through all the crap and all the videos and all the other stuff that no one really cares about.  And that the Idols themselves probably don't want to do, but won't say it.

Seacrusty tells us that something like 44 billion people voted last night, and then reminds us this will be an emotional two hour show... The Lovely Steph Leann screams, "TWO HOURS?  WHAT THE CRAP ARE THEY GOING TO DO FOR TWO DOGGONE HOURS???"

Back from break, we see the play-by-play on the guys, and we get a rundown on how they did.  Of course, you as the Clouds reader, know exactly what happened, cause you read it all... and thank you for reading.

So out of the 12 guys and 12 girls, there will be five of each that will be kept.  That leaves 14 people going home... but Randy the Dawg tells us out of those 14, they will determine which of those they will ask to sing for a Wild Card Spot.  We don't know if they have two Wild Cards, or each judge gets one making it three Wild Cards, or they might choose up to three, but they will only choose one if they feel only one deserves it... talk about drama.  Man, I love this stuff.

Nobody wants to go home!  But Seacrusty says, for the first time this season, "Dim the lights!"

First up, Robbie Ro, Robbie Ro's Nose, All 46 of Robbie Ro's teeth and Deep Voiced Scotty come up together, while Seacrusty holds the Card of Fate in his hands.  There is a couch on the side of the stage that those who make it will go sit on... The Couch of Destiny.

America voted... and they decided that Deep Voiced Scotty is in the Top Ten!  He goes off stage and has a seat on The Couch of Destiny. 

Robbie Ro, his nose and the 46 teeth?  They have not made it, and they go to the Stilver Stools of Failure, hoping for a Wild Card Spot. 

Next up is Junbug, JoDo and Jovany the Latin Lover.   Junbug is up first, glaring through his Harry Potter specs.  His lip is twitching, and right after I say, "He looks like he's about to cry!" he starts tearing up a little.  Seacrusty asks JoDo what he would have done differently, and JoDo declares, "Pick another song!"

They get to Jovany the Latin Lover and The Lovely Steph Leann comments, "Dude, not a fan of your facial hair.  The Wolverine Hair doesn't work for me." 

The results?  JoDo and Junbug are not in the Top Ten.  And neither did Jovany the Latin Lover... but now, I can say I WAS RIGHT!  America does not forgive Clint Junbug Gamboa for what he did to Chunky Beiber.  I called it.

And now, we cut to the chicks... Seacrusty walks over, and after some time filling banter and a "how we got here" video, we now Dim the Lights. 

He asks Peepee Tuscany and Lauren Alaina to come centerstage... The Lovely Steph Leann groans, in fear that one of them won't make it.  I remind her that perhaps they will both make it.  After the nationwide vote, Lauren Alaina makes the Top Ten.   Now, its Peepee Tuscany's turn... and she is also in the Top Ten.  They both head to The Couch of Destiny.

So, as happy as the chicks are for Lauren and Peepee, that's two spots gone.  Up next is TaTa Wilson and Julie Z... and both The Lovely Steph Leann and I are guessing that neither one of them will make it.  The results?  TaTa doesn't make it, and she heads back to the Silver Stools of Failure.  Then Julie Z does the same, as she doesn't make it.

After the break... Dim the Lights!  Kendra, Ashthon and K-Rod come down.  Let me tell ya, HD does nothing for Ashthon Jones... I am wondering if she might end up as a ProActiv model.  Just sayin'. 

After the results... Ashthon does not make the Top Ten, and heads back to the Silver Stools of Failure.  Out of the other two, K-Rod makes the Top Ten, Kendra does not.  The Lovely Steph Leann yells, "Suck it!  I don't like her! She's is boring!!!"

Back to the guys... Casey Abrams, The Soulful Jacob Lusk and some guy named Tim are called down by Seacrusty.  After the nationwide vote and 44 billion people, The Soulful Jacob Lusk makes it.  And then begins to fall apart, dance all over stage and claps.  Her-ca-les!  Her-ca-les!

One of the remaining two are in the Top Ten, one is not, and when Seacrusty says this, you can see the look on Tim's (whoever he is) face, and he knows... Casey Abrams heads to The Couch of Destiny.

Back to the chicks, and we see Lauren Turner, Thiamegia and Naboo Adacracpo.  Thiamegia is already crying, and can barely talk when Seacrusty talks to her.  After the vote, only one of them will make it... Nemiaha Alahbobpo doesn't make it.  Lauren Turner doesn't make it.  Thiamegia heads to The Couch of Safety.

Pauly Mac and Brett the Red come down, Pauly Mac wearing a jacket that Porter Waggoner would love.  And he's got really, really white teeth.  One of these guys has made it into the Top Ten... and that person is... Pauly Mac!  Whew... I really am annoyed by Brett the Red, and he heads to the Silver Stools of Failure. 

Seacrusty is on a roll!  He calls for Haley Reinhart and Ra'Ze, and with one spot left, I'm pretty doggone sure that Haley is headed to the Top Ten, and Ra'Ze is going home.  Was I right?  Yup.  Haley Reinhart gets that final spot on The Couch of Destiny, while Rachel Zevita joins the other losers on The Silver Stools of Failure.

And finally... The Straight Adam Lambert and Stefano Italiano are left, and again, I'm guessing that James Durbin makes it.  One spot left in the Top Ten for the guys, and after the vote, The Straight Adam Lambert takes his seat on The Couch of Destiny. 

So now, we have our Top Ten.  Haley, Pauly Mac, The Soulful Jacob Lusk, The Straight Adam Lambert, K-Rod, Thiamegia, Casey, Deep Voiced Scotty, Peepee Tuscany and Lauren Alaina. 

Now, its the Wild Card Competition.  Seven chicks and seven guys, and the judges will pick just a few to sing again, singing for their lives.  J-Lo, Randy the Dawg and Steven Tyler will then choose who they want.  Only six will get to sing, three guys and three girls... so even though everyone practiced their song with a band earlier today, Seacrusty points out that not everyone left will even get a chance at this.

Ashthon Jones is asked to sing, and she has chosen "And I Am Telling You That I Am Not Going"...  and the diva voice comes out strong, and she wails it out.   Creepy Cool Uncle Steven says she brought it, J-Lo says she felt the passion and Randy the Dawg loves the attitude.

Next up, Stefano Italiano is called upon to sing.  He sings, "I Need You Now" by who I think is Smokey Norfull, but I immediately thought of Sherriff's, "I need you noooooow... more than words can say, I need you noooooow.... I gotta find a waaaaay..."  (or was that Alias?)

Whattever the song is, it sounded great.  Randy the Dawg thought it was a great song, J-Lo is shaking and Steven Tyler says he guilded the lily of his own passion.  I don't even know what that means but I love it.  The Lovely Steph Leann says, "I think Steven Tyler has a little Paula Abdul in him..."

Kendra Chantelle is asked to sing, and The Lovely Steph Leann is excited--she wanted Kendra over K-Rod, and so did I.  Tonight, Kendra is doing "Georgia on My Mind."  And she sounds fabulous.   Randy the Dawg says, "Very nice!" and I guess we are running behind because Steven Tyler and J-Lo don't even comment.

Jovany the Latin Lover is asked to sing again, and he sings Jon Secada's "Angel."  And like K-Rod the night before, he uses the Spanish on part of the verse.  I guess he figures if it worked for her, maybe it will get him through.  The Lovely Steph Leann wanted Robbie Ro to get another shot, not Jovany the Latin Lover.  J-Lo says it was a good job, and "you did all you could do."

And the final chick gets called, that being Nemiana Agrabah, which means Lauren Turner, Julie Z, Ra'Ze and TaTa Wilson are done and go home.  Julie Z!  You blew it last night.  You blew it, and that forces me to have to come up with more ways to spell Noxema Argrabao, who is singing "For All We Know" by Donnie Hathaway.  Not a fan.  Not.  At.  All.   She even cries at the end of the song, and I yell, "Faker!  Just to get sympathy!  Faker!"   Steven Tyler loved it.

Now, back to the boys, the last chance is taken by Robbie Ro... which means Brett the Redd, Tim Whathisname, JoDo and Clint Junbug get canned and go home. 

Idol lesson... NEVER KICK SOMEONE OUT OF YOUR GROUP, especially as cute and lovable as Chunky Beiber.

Robbie Ro is singing, "Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word" by Elton John, and The Lovely Steph Leann is so pleased, as she loves this kid.  And the song sounds great.  The camera cuts to the Couch of Destiny, and several of the girls are crying. 

Out of the six "Save Yourself" performances, my choices are:  Kendra... Robbie Ro.. Stefano Italiano... Ashthon... Jovany the Latin Lover... Nevertheless Armachango.

They all come back onstage, and Seacrusty asked for the decision by the judges.  J-Lo tells him they are not ready yet, saying, "I know we are on live television, but we need a few more minutes."  Seacrusty cuts to J-Lo's new video, "On the Floor", and through the magic of DVR, we totally fast forward.

And 11 seconds later, back to the decision.  The judges have made their verdict.  And the verdict is...

...Randy the Dawg reveals that Ashthon Jones gets another shot.  J-Lo says there are two more, and Stefano Italiano is the next one chosen.  Finally, Steven Tyler says the final person is Neemabeema Alargargo gets the final spot... and I knew it.  Kendra, Robbie Ro and Jovany the Latin Lover say goodbye. 

The Lovely Steph Leann kicks the couch.  She's unhappy. 

Vh1's The Greatest Songs of the 90s (Part II)

And we are back... I'll fire up this DVR and discuss the rest of the Top 100 Greatest Songs of the 1990s, as ranked by Vh1!  Along the way I'll share some memories, some stories and maybe you have some of your own...

Keep in mind, I don't know who is on this list... everytime you read about a new song, I have just found out what that song was, and don't know what the next one is...
Read The Greatest Songs of 90s, Part I with Songs 100 to 48

47. "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch
I guess I heard somewhere that Mark Wahlberg doesn't like to discuss his "Marky Mark" days... and part of me can understand why.  I mean, he's a white guy rapper, something that until Eminem, would get you lumped in with Vanilla Ice, Snow and the like.



But another part of me wants him to be doggone proud of this ditty.  "Good Vibrations" isn't bad, its not even so-bad-its-good, its just a good, good song.   And most girls I knew loved them some Marky Mark when he did underwear ads and did this video.  He didn't actually wear a shirt from 1994 to 1998, I believe.

I came across this video in iTunes, and let me tell ya, I didn't think--I bought.  Immediately.

I've made this point before, but really?  If
you've ever seen Mutt Lange, you'll know
that Shania, left, is the best he'll ever do
and the chick on the right is more his type.

46.  "Your Still the One" by Shania Twain.

Oh mah gawsh... this song was everywhere.  You couldn't get away from this song.  But for every bit of eye candy that Marky Mark was to the ladies, Shania is the boys.

Its funny, though, to hear Shania talk about this song and her hubby Mutt Lange, as this show was done in 2007-ish.  This was, of course, Mutt so stupidly traded in his Ferrari for a used 70s Pinto. 

45.  "Only Wanna Be With You" by Hootie & the Blowfish
HOOOOOOOOTTTIIIIEEEE ROOOOOOCCCKKKKSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But when Darius Rucker says, "Ain't Bobby so cool?", who is Bobby?  Never got that.

44.  "Killing Me Softy" by The Fugees
Pras, Wyclef Jean and Lauryn Hill... The Fugees.  And for everything the original was, this song is not.  The original, while classic, is so freakin' slow... the update by The Fugees made it cool.  Made it relevant.  Made if fun.

Sang this song in karaoke back in the early 2000s or something.  Actually, I didn't sing it, Alexandra Milner did.  We were at Common Ground back in the day, doing a karaoke night, and Alex and I hopped on this stage... and she sang it beautiful.  I did the "one time time"... and then the "two time time" part.  Cause I wanted to help.

43. "My Lovin' (your never gonna get it)" by En Vogue
Who just started singing "oh your never gonna get it, no your never gonna get it" as soon as this song came on the television?  The Lovely Steph Leann, that's who, not even looking up from her laptop.

This was pre-Destiny's Child, and early-to-mid 90s.  There was an abundance of chick groups that came out about the same time, including En Vogue, but also Jade (don't walk away boy, my love won't hurt you, no no!) and my favorite, Sisters With Voices, aka, SWV (can't explain why your loving makes me weak...)

42. "Shine" by Collective Soul
From the album "Hints, Allegations and Things Left Unsaid", an album that I couldn't afford to buy in 1994, but I ended buying in like, 2004, because I felt like I should own it. 

This song is also awesome, with a great chorus, and lots and lots of "YEAH!"s.  Da da da dada YEAH!  Da dada dada da da YEAH!" 

It is a great song, but my favorite Collective Soul song?  "Heavy".  Man oh man is that song great to drive with. 

41. "Two Princes" by The Spin Doctors
My memory of this song will forever and ever be linked to that karaoke bar on the fifth deck of that cruise ship during my senior cruise... there were like, six of us up there, and that group probably included Chris McCall and Tonya Windham, but I know for a fact that Tammy Thomas was up there. 

(L-R) Tonya, Chad, Tammy, Yours Truly and Chris.  This
would be a good guess as to who was singing that night.

By the way, don't hate on the Spin Doctors.  Trippy sound, goofy hat of that lead singer guy, he had an awesome voice... and how much fun is this song to sing?  Even now!  The Lovely Steph Leann stopped singing En Vogue and immediately picked up this song. 

Favorite Spin Doctors songs? 
4) "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong"... what a great "get out my face, woman" song.
3) "You Let Your Heart Go To Fast"... lead cut from their second album
2) "Two Princes"... Carnival cruises!
1) "Jimmy Olsen's Blues".  Man I love that tune.

Just just just go ahead now. 

40. "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd
Okay, so this song came from the film "New Jack City", not on The Dave100, but probably could be listed in The Dave200, if there was such a thing.  There were actually two versions to this song, the album version and the radio version.

Usually, I'm an album-version guy... the album typically has the extra verse, or the bridge or the extra whatever, whereas the radio version is typically edited for content and length.   However, in this case, its almost as if they are two different tunes who have the same riffs and rhythm... and I prefer the "come inside take of your coat I'll make you feel at home" radio edit much better. 

Two more quick observations:  first, lead singer Brian Abrams got really big, and second. this song is, no matter the edit, not Emmy Turnbow Safe.  No joke. 

39. "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls
So, I've never seen the movie "City of Angels" that this song came from.  This song is good, though, every once in a while, but not all the time.  Give me "Slide" or "Black Balloon".... but I will tell you "Dizzy Up the Girl" is an awesome CD.  Go get it.

38. "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera
So, when you are 24 years old, and this 17 year old is singing, and rolling around like she does in this video, you feel kind of skeevy.  And I did.  Cause she was pretty hot.

Steph Nipp, back in the day, asked me about the lyrics "gotta rub the right way", and I told her "oh, its like, you know, when you rub someone the right way, or wrong way?  Like, she wants the guy to be good to her, and treat her right."  Steph Nipp says, "Oh, that makes sense."  And everytime I heard her tell someone that particular nugget, I would laugh internally, and sometimes quietly, externally.  I love Snipp. 

37. "Good Riddance (time of your life)" by Green Day
So, Green Day, one of the most overrated band in the history of the world. 

36. "Gonna Make You Sweat" by C&C Music Factory
Totally did this song in high school band, and that crazy part on the sax was sooooooo much fun to play.

And I know every stinkin' word to this song.  I mean, this video is like a workout, cause people are dancing and jumping all over the place, you had the chick singing the "Sweat!  Sweeeaaaat!  Let the music take control, let the rhythm move you..." (though the skinny chick was a front--the real singer of that was one of the big sistas from The Weather Girls, and she sued), you had that awesome sax in the middle and Freedom Williams singing the rhymes that told you he was a just a squirrel trying to get a nut to move yo' butt to the dance floor so yo' whats up, hands in the air, e'rbody over here e'rbody over there..."

35. "Wonderwall" by Oasis
Talk about a song I love to sing... Today is gonna be the day that their gonna throw it back to you... I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now...

Its like a good Beatles song.  This, with "Champagne Supernova", but especially this, is just about as close to a perfect rock song as you can get. 

Chick named Reanna in children's theater Pied Pipers used to walk aroung singing "Wonder Bra".  Kind of annoying, but at the same time amusing.

34. "Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind
So this song is actually about hard core drugs and gettin' it on.  The lyrics are so dirty.  But its proof that people don't pay much attention to the lyrics, because its so catchy and this song was pretty big for about eight months.  But I usually turn it when it comes on.  Not a huge fan.

33. "Wannabe" by Spice Girls
This exchange just happened:
Me: Oh wow
The Lovely Steph Leann: You knew this had to be on here
Me: Oh, I like the Spice Girls.  I dig this song.
The Lovely Steph Leann: OMG, I LOOOOOVE the Spice Girls

Ten, twelve years later, its kinda funny seeing where they all ended up, but back in the late 90s, you couldn't get away from Spice Girl.  I was always a Baby Spice guy myself. 

We just spent the next five minutes coming up with the titles of the other two Spice hits.... "Two Become One" and my favorite, "Say You'll Be There" (she sang along to both when I dug 'em up on my iTunes)

32. "No Diggity" by Blackstreet featuring Dr. Dre
Dude.  No Diggity was dope.  Back when Dre and rap was fun and cool, when Hip Hop was going from innocent to a little edgy, this song is just awesome. 

Not sure what "diggity" means.  It might mean "no doubt", as in "no diggity, no doubt". 

Play on, play out.

31. "Creep" by Radiohead
There were two versions of this song, the "so very special" and "so effin' special" version.  As in, "I wish I was special.  So very/effin special".  Because I'm an album purist, I like the second one.  I have this cassingle upstairs. 

I won a tape from a radio station once, called "Kid A."  And after listening to it a few times, I can honestly say, Radiohead is a band I never got.

30. "Tearin' Up My Heart" by N*Sync
So, the boy bands returned in 98, after a seven year hiatus with the loss of New Kids on the Block. 

Remember when Justin Timberlake was this frosted tipped little kid?  And out of like, all the boy banders in all the boy bands, something like 19 of them, JT is the only who made it out.  Its not cool to like any of them... except JT.  Its cool to like JT. 

And I'm sure JC Chasez is sitting at home, playing "Blowing Me Up (with her love)", wondering what went wrong and why not him.

No, of course I don't have "Ice Ice Baby"
on Cassette Single.  Why would I need
the cassingle when I have this entire
album on tape?

29. "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice
I could spend an entire column, like 4,000 words on this song.  I don't even know where to begin with this song, other than, I love it and am not ashamed.

28. "Livin' la Vida Loco" by Ricky Martin
I got nothing.  That sound you hear is the Unintentional Comedy Scale exploding into small, loco pieces.

27. "Mr. Jones" by The Counting Crows
First, lets be clear... Adam Duritz. Ladies, is he hot?  Seriously?  Cause he got with like, fourteen different 90s hot chicks from Jennifer Aniston to Courtney Cox. 

Secondly, who is Mr. Jones?  

26. "My Name Is" by Eminem
I remember hearing this song for the first time as I was coming to my apartment in 1999.  It was odd, it was laughable, and it was creative.  Some years later, he busted out with my favorite Eminem tune, "Without Me" which is absolutely brilliant. 

Love him, hate him, he is so talented.  What he can rap, the words he spits out are amazing... not the content, but just his tone. 

25. "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden
This was a cool song, but this video was just creepy with the stretchy smiley face thing going on.  Everyone's smiles get all weird and distorted and strange.

24. "Jump Around" by House of Pain
Dude... from the very first note, this song rocks.  Like, this song is awesome.  Everyone jumps to this song.  And my favorite lyric, though its terrible, is "I'll serve yo' --- like John McEnroe, if yo' girl steps up, I'm smackin' da ho'"...  This makes me want to go and hear this song right now.  This would be in my Top Ten songs of the 90s.

23. "Whatta Man" by Salt n Pepa featuring En Vogue
What a great song.  Seriously.  Why is it that there are so many songs out there that are all about how bad your man is, and he cheated and he's a jerk and all that... but here's a song that celebrates how much she loves her man.

I'd like to think that The Lovely Steph Leann, were she a R&B rap artist, would sing this song to me.  "d$, you so crazy... I think I wanna have yo' baby..." 

22.  "Loser" by Beck
Does anyone even know what this song means?  No you don't.  Don't try.  Don't even try to explain.  I made it a point to learn every word to this song at one time, and loved to sing it... and would hear it often on cassingle.

If there was a way to do playcounts with cassettes, surely this would have a huge count from back in the day.

21. "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion
Oh, there go the flutes.  From one of my favorite movies of all time, 9th on The Dave100, near, far, wherever you are, you couldn't NOT hear this song.  And seriously, were it not for the fact that I have heard this song about 8,000,003 times, I would still love it.  However, its still a great song.  And before Celine married Rob Reiner and decided to lose 188 pounds, she was so awesome.  I mean, really.  I would put her next to pre-crack Whitney and pre-skank Mariah, easily.

The Lovely Steph Leann: Oh, I cried at this song.

20. "Mmm Bop" by Hanson
You laugh right now, but dont even joke.  You freakin' loved this song.  You sang this song.  You bought it, you own it, and when it came on, you turn it up, even if you only can sing the "Mmm Bop" part.

Hanson is a band that got the shaft--they make great pop rock music, played their own instruments, wrote their own songs, and were defined by that one single song.

19. "Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys
There are fewer songs that, combined with the video, are as cool as this song.  This song is loud, this song is boisterous, this song had this funky, hard edge, goofy sound... and it ROCKS.  Put this is your cars CD player, preluded by "B.O.B." by OutKast and followed by "Machinehead" by Bush, and you can make it from Birmingham to the beach in about 90 minutes.

18. "Enter Sandman" by Metallica
"The national anthem of headbangers" was what one guy said on the show, and I agree.  And when lead singer Triple H James Hetfield, its a song that really... kinda punishes you.   

Hush little baby don't say a word, and don't mind that noise you heard.

Indeed.

17. "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child
Back when it wasn't just Beyonce, but Beyonce and three, yes three, other chicks.  Hey, say my name you love me in front of other people.  And somehow, they sang 73 words in the span of 4 seconds, so much so that Eminem would be proud.

And for the record, I love me some Kelly Rowland--she's my favorite D'Child.

16. "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer
That phrase, "U Can't Touch This", tossed in with "2 Legit 2 Quit" will forever be a part of our lexicon.  Lorelei Addison and Campbell Isaiah will be saying these phrases and not even knowing what they mean...

...oh no, forget that... they'll be hearing them some MC Hammer.

Its Hammer go Hammer MC Hammer yo Hammer and the rest can go and play, Can't Touch This!

15. "Under the Bridge" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
When this song popped up, The Lovely Steph Leann looked up and said, "ah!"  I asked her if she liked this song, and she nodded feverishly, "I Love this song."

And why not?  Its a great song.  I remember this video where Anthony Keidis, in black and white, long hair flying, running as fast as he could towards the camera, looking all buff and intense.  It was cool.

14. "Vision of Love" by Mariah Carey

Totally had this poster on my college dorm room wall

Sigh. 

I miss pre-skank Mariah.

Anyone under 21, stop what you are doing, go to iTunes and download three songs:  Emotion, Dreamlover and this song.  And listen to them for an education.  THIS is how you sing.  THIS is how you entice.  THIS is how you are FREAKIN AWESOME. 

I would love love love love to see her in concert.  I mean, one of my top five most desired concert experiences.

13. "Nuthin' But a G Thang" by Dr. Dre introducing Snoop Doggy Dogg
In the late 80s, rap was killin, ghetto, hood, shooting, the plight of black people, the plight of poor people, the man holding us down...

When G Thang came out, it all changed.  Rap suddenly didn't have to be a social commentary, it could be just something fun, laid back, smokin' a blunt, drankin' a fo'ty, ridin' in yo' bouncing hyrdrolic low rider,

12. "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette
How fantastic is this song?  How fantastic is this whole "Jagged Little Pill" album?  I remember hearing this song for the first time, I hopped in my car, drove around the corner from Willow Terrace to across the street to On Cue Records and Tapes, and paid $15.98 for it.  Didn't have it, probably bounced the check, but it was worth it. 

She's a little mellow now, and released an acoustic version of this whole album a few years back--and it was good, but it wasnt great.  It wasn't great because she wasn't angry anymore.  I love Angry Alanis.

11. "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam
Remember me telling you about sitting at home, listening to Open House Party on Saturday nights?  This is where I learned about Pearl Jam and heard "Jeremy" for the first time.  And I owned the tape and would play it in my car at school I daresay before anyone knew who was Eddie Vedder even was.

I remember doing some painting work for my boss at The Wright Place restaurant at his home, painting some metal beams for a barn that he was building.  And with my jambox, I had this tape blaring loud and proud.  Back then, kiddies, you got about five songs, then you had to flip the tape over. 

10. "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Connor
I cannot tell you how awesome this song is.  I mean, seriously.  This will be another song that Lorelei Addison will hear as a very young little girl.



The video is so amazing, as she's starting at the camera, tears streaming down her eyes.  Its on my list of the Saddest Songs Ever.  That countdown is due for a re-do, and "Nothing Compares 2 U" might rank a little higher. 

And this is on my current rotation of songs that I sing while I'm making drinks at Starbucks. 

9. "Losing My Religion" by REM
I've never been a huge REM fan, but this song was captivating.  That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion.  I do believe that not too long ago, Michael Stipe surprised no one when admitting he was gay, he admitted that this song was his struggle with being an Other. 

We used to make fun of REM, saying that REM stood for Rear End Men.  Turns out I wasn't too far from being right.

8. "Waterfalls" by TLC
For all the songs that The Lovely Steph Leann liked on this countdown, I daresay there aren't many songs she hates more than this one.  I like the song itself, but usually only hear it when I'm listening to a playlist that includes my favorite music from that Troy State era.

7. "...Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears
Let's be honest.  Back in 1998, you liked this song.  Don't tell me you didn't.  You had no idea that K-Fed, bald heads, kissing Madonna, that VMA snake, Chaotic, slutsville, rehab, two children, bad music, that Vegas marriage was coming.  All you knew at that time was that this song was awesome, it was catchy, the album was fun, and speaking as a guy, we loved it.

6. "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mixalot
I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE is a line that forever will go down in the "First Lines to a Song" Hall of Fame.  I mean, you can't even say the words "Oh My Gah Becky, look at her butt" without someone laughing, or continuing the line or quoting the song.  Seriously.

This is song is so engrained in our pop culture, it will be one of the songs on this list that will last for decades, maybe a generation.  I don't know if Campbell Isaiah will be exposed to Mixalot at an early age, but it seems to be a good song to sing to babies.  On Friends, Rachel sang it to her kid to calm her down, and when I was visiting my best mate Wookiee, I was holding their daughter Abby Grace and when AG got a little grumpy, I started to whisper "I like big butts and I cannot lie.  You other brothers can't deny..." and like magic, AG quieted. 

5. "Vogue" by Madonna
Eh.

4. "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
From a favorite film, 51st on The Dave100, its pre-crack Whitney at the top of her career.  As this song started, I just put my head back on the recliner, looked at The Lovely Steph Leann and just sighed, "This song... is just so great." 



A few drug hits and a Bobby Brown later, she can't hit those notes like she used to.  But while you are on iTunes downloading those Mariah songs, make sure you get "How Will I Know", "Saving All My Love For You", "I'm Your Baby Tonight" (radio edit) and this song.  Go now. 

3. "I Want It That Way" by The Backstreet Boys
The Lovely Steph Leann just piped up "This is the BEST!!!"

So one night, Mikey Nipp and I were going to a party somewhere.  We walked to the door and he turned to me, said "I'm going to have the entire room singing Backstreet in ten minutes.  Just watch this." 

He walked in, quietly singing to himself, "you are... my fire... my one... desire..." and sure enough, within ten minutes every girl, and some guys, in the room were singing to themselves "I want it that way" and "you are... my fire..." and so on.  It was hilarious.

2. "One" by U2
When "Achtung Baby" came out, I really dug "Mysterious Ways", which turned out to be my favorite U2 song of all time. 

But I'll just be honest with ya here... this is my absolute least favorite U2 song out there.  When this comes on the radio, I end up just turning it.  There.  I said it.

1. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
When we were about three songs from the end, I said, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is probably number one."  And I was right.

I was the first kid in my high school to own "Nevermind" with the naked baby on the front cover of the tape.  And this song was played a whole heckuva lot in my car.  Kurt Cobain is perhaps not as amazing as people remember him to be (who is, really) but he deserves alot of credit for, along with Pearl Jam, bringing the new grunge alternative sound to the forefront, inspiring rock music like never before, and making all those kids around me who felt Metallica and Alice in Chains were a little too loud have some hope in rock. 



And then, when Weird Al Yankovic came out with "Smells Like Nirvana", I was laughing so hard I literally ran off of the road while driving down the highway in Enterprise, Alabama.

Well, theres your greatest songs of the 90s.

Word to your mother.

Play on, play out.

Fragrance, candy & music to come under name of Mariah Carey

Elizabeth Arden, Inc. and Bazooka Candy Brands, a division of Topps Company, Inc., announced a strategic partnership for the launch of Mariah Carey's new candy-inspired fragrance collection, Lollipop Bling. This partnership represents the latest innovation from Elizabeth Arden, bringing together three powerful entities--fragrance, candy and music--under the name of one superstar, Mariah Carey.

Mariah Carey has always been an incredible partner for Elizabeth Arden; her approach to fragrance creation is authentic, incorporating her life experience into her brands. Lollipop Bling was inspired by the fun and playful nature of Mariah's marriage proposal - an engagement ring hidden inside an iconic Ring Pop lollipop package.

"As an artist, I'm always looking for unique business models to connect with my fans and reach out to new segments of the audience, through different creative endeavors in music, partnerships or fragrances," said Mariah Carey. "That's why I'm so excited for everyone to experience Lollipop Bling for the first time! I think this line really comes with a fresh approach that is both innovative and accessible to my loyal fan base and beyond, but will bring something new to the market with a well-rounded, universal appeal."

Mariah Carey's Lollipop Bling, a trio of candy-inspired fragrances, is a breakthrough concept unique to both the fragrance and candy categories. The collaboration between Elizabeth Arden and Topps sets apart this fragrance launch in a competitive marketplace.

"At Elizabeth Arden, our strategy is to develop innovative brand experiences for our customer," said Scott Beattie, Chairman, Chief Executive Officer and President of Elizabeth Arden. "In today's dynamic and competitive environment, we must continue to evolve and execute at a higher level than is expected by our retail partners and consumers. Lollipop Bling is innovative and delivers something truly unique to the category."

The inspiration for Lollipop Bling, Mariah Carey's marriage proposal, and the brand story will be told in multiple ways. Each fragrance purchase will include a Ring Pop, and the national advertising features Mariah Carey wearing Ring Pops. The fragrance and packaging are candy- and flavor-inspired, and an interactive online experience will also incorporate the Ring Pop inspiration.

Read More... 

Image Source: http://www.in.com/

Idol Inspires... and Gives Back

Here I am, its a Wednesday night.  Idol Gives Back is already on, but I haven't seen the performance show.  Its 10 after 7, and I planned it that way.  I'm about to pick up the remote, and watch the performances... then immediately go to the Idol Gives Back show, though I'm not sure we'll see any results this time... when they did this a few years back, they didn't eliminate anyone, they just combined that weeks votes with the following week and dropped 2 people. 

I want to be able to fast forward through some of these performances if desired... so its easier while watching it on DVR.  I have the power, oh yes, I have... the power. 

THIS

IS

AMERICAN

IDOL

Its "Inspirational Song" week here on Idol, but don't think you'll be hearing stuff from Amy Grant or Third Day or Stevie Curt Chapman... no, this is when you just pick songs that... well, inspire you.  Personally, if I were a singer and on Idol, I do one of two songs:

"Standing Outside the Fire." by Garth Brooks.  I think its the video of the Downs kid running on the track team that does it for me.  Oh, and Garth just looks cool with fire all around him.

OR


"Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield.  I do this one only if I were a chick.  Which I'm not.  Digressing....

Its our Top Seven singing this week... Big Mike, C'Bosox, Tim-may, Aaron, CJ, Lee De and Siobhan.  And mentoring them this week?  Alicia Keys.  Okay, so, have you ever heard the song "Falling"?  I'm sure you have... it was every other song on the radio some years back... and don't get me wrong, her voice is absolutely beautiful and haunting... but "Falling" is a terribly written song.  Just my two cents.  Who said "Fergalicious?"  Shut up.

CJ is up first.  Your first clue that this week is not "Inspirational" but "Songs That Make You Feel Good" is that Casey James is doing "Don't Stop", the classic by Fleetwood Mac.  This is one of my least favorite Fleetwood Mac songs... personally, I'm a big fan of "Gypsy", "Rhiannon" and "Say You Love Me"... though who doesn't love "Go Your Own Way", especially because of the bitterness behind it--let's face it, everyone slept with everyone in that group.

Randy says the song was good, but not the best.  Cindy Jo disagrees.  She would vocalize it, except for the drooling.  America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres busts out a real critique... "You have to be great, and I don't think anyone is going to remember that tomorrow".  Kara the New Hotness is frustrated because he's better than that.  Simon the Cowell says he wasn't inspired at all.  And I can agree with that.

Lee DeWyze is doing Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer", which you'd know because it goes "Li la li... (crash) li la li li li la la la la li (crash).  I like that song, but for me, you can't beat "Sounds of Silence" and "Hazy Shade of Winter" (though I prefer The Bangles 1987 version from the Andrew McCarthy/Jami Gertz/RDJr masterpiece of drugginess, "Less Than Zero").  Yes, yes, "Mrs Robinson" is good too.

What is this song about?  Its about overcoming loneliness and poverty in New York City.  So sez Wikipedia.

Randy the Dawg really liked it.  Ellen DeG says it was great, the best of the night so far.  Kara the New Hotness says Lee has his moment tonight.  Simon says that two performances in, it was the best of the night... and then says it was sincere, emotional and inspirational.

Timmy Urban is doing "Better Days" by The Goo Goo Dolls, one of those bands that, almost 20 years later, they keep putting out likable songs.  My personal favorite?  "Black Balloon", though I've admitted that I haven't a clue what its about... didn't stop me from ranking it as one of the saddest songs ever. 

"Slide", however, is a great, great driving song.

Tim-may Urban is having, shall we say, pitch problems.  Randy says it was just so-so.  Ellen DeG compares him to soup that sometimes she likes and sometimes she doesn't... and tonight, she didn't.  Kara the New Hotness didn't like it.  Simon the Cowell is finding it difficult to believe in him, and thinks it was a step back.

Oh dear.  Oh dear, oh dear... "I Believe I Can Fly" by R. Kelly is what Aaron Kelly chose.  Directly from the soundtrack to the groundbreaking motion picture "Space Jam".  You know how some people have said they've never seen Star Wars?  Well, I've never seen "Space Jam".  I'm okay with that.

You know which song I like by R. Kelly?  "Ignition (remix)".  That song rules.  Especially when I start singing to The Lovely Steph Leann, "No I'm not tryin to be rude, but hey pretty girl I'm feelin you the way you do the things you do, remind me of my Lexus coup..." though by the time I get five words into it, she's already given me a stern look. 

Aaron Kelly's version was terrible.  I don't know what Randy the Dawg is hearing, liking it, but wow.  That was dreadful.  Ellen DeG believes Aaron can fly.  Kara the New Hotness loved it.  Simon the Cowell admires the guts to take on that song, but didn't like the performance at all. 

Do you want to know Whitney Houston's worst song?  And Mariah Carey's worst song ever?  Its the same song.  And Siobhan Magnus is doing it tonight... from "The Prince of Egypt", its "When You Believe".  I hate this song, I really do.  I really, really do.

Okay, I'll say this... she's got a great voice.  She sings the song decent enough. But this song... is just terrible.  Just terrible.  I miss the Siobhan from the early weeks of the show... its like she listened to her own hype and wanted to morph into something more "radio friendly", and by doing so, lost what made her awesome. 

Randy the Dawg didn't like it all that much.  Ellen DeG loved it.  Kara the New Hotness said "Technically, it was good.  But it was theatrical".  Simon didn't like it either. 

Big Mike is doing "Hero" by Chad Kroeger.  Once again, from a movie, this time from "Spiderman".  Is this "Song That Make You Feel Good" or "Songs That Come From Movies But Also Make You Feel Good" Week?

Not a huge fan, but after this night, its the almost the best of the junk.

Randy the Dawg liked it.   Ellen DeG liked it.  Kara the New Hotness didn't like it.  Simon the Cowell said it was sung well, and comments that it was from Spiderman.

And in the pimp spot. Crystal Bowersox is ready to blow us all away. I heard she was doing "People Get Ready", and immediately I thought of Crystal Lewis Rapture-Jam, "People Get Ready (Jesus is coming)" and I was all pumped.

Well, this is actually the version from the 60s by The Impressions.  The first verse is sung acapella and Oh Em Gee.  Wow.  Wow.  Wow wow wow.

Sans instrument for the first time, she just blows it away.  And she ends up crying at the end.  And it was so freaking awesome, I'm doing something that I haven't done all year... I'm rewinding it to watch it again. 

Sometimes you see a performance that is just... well, magical.  Amazing.  Unbelievable.  And tonight, Crystal Bowersox just did one of those, one that will be tossed into the ranks when they do those "Best Idol Performances Ever" lists. 

Randy the Dawg says "That was unbelievable" and gives her a standing O.  Ellen DeG says she's beautiful and loved the song.  And DVR cuts out before I hear Kara the New Hotness and Simon speak, but I can only assume they went nuts too.  I just did. 

Tonight...  Crystal Bowersox.  Everyone else didn't matter.

Coming quickly... watching Idol Gives Back...

And here we go...

To give us a heading of how great this show is going to be, its He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected and The First Lady, Michelle.   I just threw up in my mouth.

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL

GIVES BACK!!!!

I wonder when He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected will start giving back... taxes, maybe?  Personal freedoms?  Government control?  I'll stop before I start kicking things around The Cabana living area.

Seacrest reminds us we can make a difference.  I'm wondering what the over/under is on how many times i'm going to fast forward tonight?  Plus 400? 

Seacrest is hosting, but Queen Latifah is co-hosting over in Pasadena.  I used to totally dig her talk show when it was on.  Tonight... the Black Eyed Peas!  Carrie Underwood!  Joss Stone!  Annie Lennox!  More!  Yeah!

The time is 8:30, so I wonder how fast I'll shoot through this 2 hour show.  Mary J. Blige and Alicia Keys are here tonight too!

Fast forward through the Top 12 reunited (and it feels so good) group song

Fast forward through Jennifer Garner's report on what Idol Gives Back has done for Kentucky

Fast forward through Posh Spice and Seacrest

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Capt Sulley's pleading for Idol Gives Back

Seacrest banters with Jonah Hill and Russell Brand.  Not a funny bit.

The Top Seven sit on the Couch of Anxiety, all dressed in white as per usual Idol Gives Back dress code.  Siobhan Magnus isn't used to such bright happiness.

Back over to Queen Latifah, who introduces The Black Eyed Peas.  I'm completely alone in my chair, and out loud I just said "What the freak is Fergie wearing?"  This song is a prime example of artists who sound great on the radio and in studio but onstage... uh... not really...

Fast forward through The Black Eyed Peas rockin' that body

Todd Bridges is in the audience.  How did he get there?  Shouldn't he be parking cars?

Fast forward through Malaria's greatest hits

Fast forward through commercials

Finally... some results.  I thought they might push back an elimination until next week, but nay nay.  And in another only slightly funny bit, George Lopez is onstage.  Let's dim the lights. 

Lopez then walks to the judges, as if one of them is getting voted off.  He then takes some great shots at both Randy and Kara the New Hotness... Lopez then takes another shot at Kara's affections for Casey James, which then the camera pans to CJ, who grimaces.  He didn't like that at all. 

Seacrest then introduces Lopez as "Erik Estrada", which made me laugh out loud.

Fast forward through the Ford commercial

Now, really dim the lights.  CJ and Crystal Bowersox join Seacrest in the middle of the stage.  CJ looks grim, he knows he's in the Bottom Three or Two or whatever they'll do.  He's standing next to C'Bosox.  And in shocking news, Casey James heads to the Silver Stools of Shame, Crystal Bowersox lives to fight another day.

Aaron Kelly and Lee DeWyze come to the middle... which puts Aaron Kelly in the Bottom Three.  By the way, I called that while Seacrest was still talking.   Aaron heads to the Silver Stools of Shame.

Back to Queen Latifah, lets hear...

No, Fast forward through Jeff Beck and Joss Stone

Fast forward through dying mothers in Africa

Fast forward through commercials and Ban Ki-Moon, the Sect General of the U.N.  Yeah, thats how you get me to donate.  Put the U.N. support behind it.  You could have gotten Bernie Madoff and I would have given it more creedence.

And now, Morgan Freeman.  Can I just tell ya, I think he grand kids must have the absolute best time during story hour with Grandpa.   

Fast forward through Mississippi's poverty kids

Fast forward through Alicia Keys

Fast forward through commercials

Seacrest banters again with Russell Brand and Jonah Hill.  Jim Carrey makes an appearance... and seriously, he looks OLD.  And why break up with Jenny McCarthy?  Wow.

Queen Latifah introduces Carrie Underwood, singing the song "Change".  This strikes me as a song that is going to inspire me, and they'll probably show video of kids.  She looks ravishing... but...

Fast forward through Carrie Underwood.  No background montages of kids, I'm guessing Carrie is too big of a star to have the camera not on her now.

Fast forward through Hungry People montage

Fast forward through a bunch of poverty stricken kids in church

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Bill and Melinda Gates

Fast forward through who I consider one of the least funny people in America, Wanda Sykes

Back to results.  Siobhan, Timmy and Big Mike join Seacrest in the center of the stage.  One will head to the Silver Stools of Shame.  Siobhan is safe.  She goes back to the Couch of Safety.  Big Mike is safe.  Timmy Urban goes over to the Silver Stools of Shame, joining Aaron Kelly and CJ

Fast forward through David Cook

Fast forward through poor kids in Ethiopia

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Annie Lennox in Africa

Fast forward through Annie Lennox, still in Africa

Fast forward through Annie Lennox singing.  She might still be in Africa, who knows.   Her song, "No More I Love You"... one of the Top Ten Worst Songs in the History of the World, in my opinion.  Just saying.

Fast forward through commercials

And we're back.  Its 9:07, and I've gone through 1:52 in just over 30 minutes... back to Queen Latifah and a bunch of others singing "Stairway to Heaven"

Fast forward through Queen Latifah and a bunch of others singing "Stairway to Heaven"

And I fast forwarded right to the end of the DVR recording.  Its 9:09, and I quickly go to Fox 6 to see who gets kicked off... and the show is still going.  Queen Latifah is standing with Sir Elton John, who doesn't look much older than Jim Carrey that we saw early.

Elton John sits to sing "Your Song"

Fast forward through... wait... crap.  I'm watching this live.

Tis okay, though... I can handle this one.  I dig early Elton, before we all knew he was singing to a guy.  I do like that Elton John is on the show, even though he called the show "incredibly racist" after a Season Three Bottom Three featured black contestants Jennifer Hudson, LaToya London and Fantasia (Jennifer Hudson went home).

And a commercial shows that Kristin Chenoweth to be coming back to "Glee" soon.  Looks like I might be watching "Glee" again.  If Kristin Chenoweth was on a show called "An Hour of Watching Leaves Dry", I'd watch it. 

Aaron Kelly is safe, by the way.  I think Timmy Urban is done for the season.

And.... as usual, I'm right. 

Because they were pressed for time, I'm sure, as its now 9:24, they don't even let Tim Urban sing the final song.  They show his "journey" clips, and then cut out.  And thats it for Idol Gives Back.

Okay, okay, here's the number to donate if you want... 1-877-IDOL AID and here's the link if you want to donate.