Idols In It To Win It!

Just a warning... I have a very liberal amount of italics, statements in bold, lots of ellipses and sometimes all three in one sentence.  Its a grammatical nightmare.  Oh, and this has video on it, so if you reading on the Facebook, shift over to The Mothership and read it on mine own site.  Thanks.

The atmosphere in Hollywood is electric, is crazy, is pumped and geared for the Idols! 

The atmosphere in The Cabana?  Relaxed.  Well-fed.  Simple.  Quiet, except for The Lovely Steph Leann's subtle movements on the couch under her blankie, and the typing of this post.  Oh, and the show itself.  Its Thursday evening, The Lovely Steph Leann is back from a Pensacola trip, and for the first time in a long, long while, we are going to watch the show together, comments and all.

The Top Five await... The Soulful Jacob Lusk... Deep Voiced Scotty... Haley Cuteness... America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina... The Straight Adam Lambert... and Randy the Dawg wonders, "Who is in it to win it?"  Because some of the Idols are here not to win.  Right.

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL

And tonight's mentor!  Sheryl Crow, one of my top five favorite artists of all, all time.  I love, love love Sheryl Crow and am pumped she's on the show tonight... yes, yes, she had the toilet paper remark, but I still love me some Sheryl.  She helped define my college career.

TOP TEN FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONGS...

#10... "The First Cut is the Deepest" from "The Very Best of"

#9... "Strong Enough (live)" with The Dixie Chicks, from "Live from Central Park

Each of the Idols gets two songs, the first being a modern song, and the second being one from "Back in the day" as Seacrusty puts it.

First!  Modern Songs!

The Straight Adam Lambert is up first, singing.. "30 Seconds to... something".  To Mars?  To Morrow?  In it to win it?  Who knows.

Uncle Steven says, "You kicked that song's a**."  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg thought it showed where Blinky James can go as an artist.  The Straight Adam Lambert is in it to win it.  Dawg.

Now, The Soulful Jacob Lusk is ready to sing Idol winner Jordin Sparks song "No Air", a song that I can pretty much tell you that I not only know nothing about, I don't know that I've ever heard the entire thing.  Or part of it.  I do know that Chris Brown sang with Jordin on this--Rhianna says you can't beat that.  Ha!

This performance leads to the following exchange:

Me:  This... this sounds horrible.
Her:  What... what is he doing?  His dancing is... what? (pause).  They did this song on Glee.  I liked it on Glee. 

J-Lo liked it.  Randy the Dawg didn't like The Soulful Jacob Lusk's direction, and didn't like him trying to sing a duet song solo.  Uncle Steven Tyler loves his voice. 

TOP TEN FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONGS
#8... "Can't Cry Anymore" from "Tuesday Night Music Club"


#7... "Picture" with Kid Rock, from "The Very Best of"

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is taking on Carrie Underwood's tune, "Flat on the Floor", from the album "Carnival Ride".   We open the performance with a fiddle, and I like it already.  Then she starts to sing, and I love it.  Rock on.

The awesome Dr. Callie Torres of Seattle Grace Mercy
West Hospital.

The Lovely Steph Leann is giddy because she spots Dr. Callie Torres in the audience.  Seeing that FOX is an Idol show, I'm not sure that Seacrusty is going to introduce Dr. Torres to us.

Randy the Dawg declares America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina to be "in it to win it."  Steven Tyler says, "For 15, the sky is the limit!"  (The Lovely Steph Leann mutters, "She's 16, Steven, she's 16.")  J-Lo loved it.

Now, its time for Deep Voiced Scotty "the Body", and he'll be doing his country roots justice with Montgomery Gentry's "Gone". 

I declared this... were I of 17 or 18 years old, in this competition and singing with Sheryl Crow... I'm asking her out.  No stinkin' joke.  She'd say no, but I would walk out of there knowing I hit on Sheryl Crow, and that's good enough for me.

Once again, Deep Voiced Scotty is doing the country thang, and doing it very, very well.  Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg felt as if he were at a Scotty the Body concert.  And.. guess what, Deep Voiced Scotty's "in it to win it!!!"

We are back from break, and I wonder aloud if Haley Cuteness' boobs have their own number.  The Lovely Steph Leann grunts and says, "Yeah, they aren't that big." 

Haley is doing a Gaga song, an unreleased track that she was able to get permission from Lady G herself to sing.  Its "You and I", and Sheryl Crow loves it. 

Haley Cuteness starts on the steps, seated, and singing in her sultry voice.  She looks great, though I figure it wouldn't take much to convince me that she got her sparkly pants out of Pauly Mac's closet. 


What can I say?  I love Haley Reinhart now. 

The Lovely Steph Leann says, "You and I?  Its not really grammatically correct.  Lady Gaga needs to fix that.   I laugh heartily.

J-Lo didn't care for it.  What?  What?!  You dug Blinky James but didn't like Haley Cuteness?  Her issue is the same as Randy the Dawg's issue, which is, Haley shouldn't have done a song that no one knows about.   Uncle Steven says, "you are one perfect song away from being the American Idol... you need to find that song..."

TOP TEN FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONGS
#6... "A Change Would Do You Good" from "Sheryl Crow"


#5... "Anything but Down" from "The Globe Sessions"

Back in the Day Song Time!

The Straight Adam Lambert is tearing up while listening to "Without You" by Nilsson, to the point where he leaves the rehearsal studio sniffling.  Sheryl Crow and Jimmy Iovine both look at each other in bewilderment.  The original is a fantastic song, both by Nilsson and Pre-Skank Mariah Carey... how does Blinky James do?

With tears streaming down his face, you can judge this two ways... first, you can say that it was very heartfelt and honest, which led to his voice being shaky.  Or, second, you can say it just wasn't that great.  I kinda fall in between... it was an emotional song, and I liked it.  Didn't love it, but liked it.

Randy the Dawg agrees with me, and says that "this competition is yours to lose."  Uncle Steven said it was pitchy in a Blinky James sort of way, but still beautiful.  J-Lo loved it.

Seacrusty says, "Up next, The Soulful Jacob Lusk with a Nazareth hit!"  Wait... what?

The Lovely Steph Leann asks who Nazareth is, and I reply, "They do that song 'Love Hurts'... you know... love huuuurrrttss!  Love... something..." cause I couldn't remember the next line.  She says, "Uh, oh yeah... that one... sure."

Okay, so he starts out pretty good, strong, soft, but not too much... yet, he finished with a screech and a wail and too much.  The Lovely Steph Leann agrees.

Uncle Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg says, "that might have been the highest note ever sung on this stage!"  What are they listening to? 

MY 4th FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG

"SOAK UP THE SUN" FROM "C'MON C'MON"

We notice Sir Anthony Hopkins in the audience, and Seacrusty does too as he introduces him, along with Kelly Preston.. and Dr. Torres sits a few seats away, and gets no love.  Because she gets a check from ABC.

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is doing "Unchained Melody", which prompts The Lovely Steph Leann to say, "Really?  The Righteous Brothers have other songs that are just, if not more, fabulous!!" 

The original kind of bores me, and her version kinda does too.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg loved it.  Steven Tyler loved it. 

Deep Voiced Scotty's second song is "Always on My Mind" by Willie Nelson (though I think he said Elvis... maybe Elvis did this song, but Willie is the only one I know of...)  I grew up on old school country, so this song was a staple around my house.

Anyway, it sounded like Scotty, which meant it sounds country good.  Country strong.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg loved it.  Steven Tyler loved it. 

Seacrusty says, "Up next, Haley Cuteness takes on  The Animals!"

Me: I hope she doesn't do "House of the Rising Sun"
Her:  Well, sure... did The Animals do anything else?
Haley Cuteness:  I am doing The Animals' "House of the Rising Sun"

Sheryl Crow suggests Haley start out acapella.  I would say if Sheryl told me I should start out with a banana peel on my head and a booger on my left eyelid, I'd do it, at least when it comes to singing, so naturally Haley Cuteness starts the song sans instruments.

I'm not a fan of this song in its original form, but Haley has seemingly made this song sexy... which she seems to do with anything she sings.  Go Haley.

The Lovely Steph Leann observes that Dr. Callie Torres loved, judging by her woot woot'ness.  Randy the Dawg calls this the song of the night.  Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it. 

MY 3rd FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG

"EVERYDAY IS A WINDING ROAD" FROM "SHERYL CROW"

So here is how I rank the songs tonight, for my own personal preference... (1) America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's "Flat on the Floor"...  (2) Haley Cuteness' "You and I"... (3) The Straight Adam Lambert's "Without You"... (4) Deep Voiced Scotty's "Always on My Mind"... (5) Haley Cuteness' "House of the Rising Sun"... (6) The Straight Adam Lambert's "30 Seconds to Mars"... (7) Deep Voiced Scotty's "Gone"... (8) America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's "Unchained Melody"... (9) The Soulful Jacob Lusk's "Love Hurts"... (10) The Soulful Jacob Lusk's "No Air"

And for me, The Soulful Jacob Lusk needs to go home. 

AND NOW

THIS IS

THE AMERICAN IDOL

RESULTS

I fast forward to the next show and stop when the judges enter the stage... and The Lovely Steph Leann begins to shriek.  What?!  What?? I ask, and she is horrified.  Horrified by Jennifer Lopez's short skirt.  "Make her sit down so I don't have to see that!  But I wonder how much of her butt will be on that chair, because there's no way that skirt is going to cover her butt when she sits down... make her sit down!"

Seacrusty comes out and discusses Steven Tyler's new book, his autobiography, "Do You Hear The Noise In My Head."

Seacrusty:  Tonight!  J-Lo will be doing her latest smash single!
Me: That means you'll get to see that skirt again.
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Uuugghhh....

Group Song... fast forward

Commercial break.. fast forward

Ford Music Video... fast forward

Video with the Idols in Hell's Kitchen.  We actually watch this, even though its shameless self-promotion.  Its amusing.  They all cook omelets for Chef Ramsey's approval... and southern girl America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina gets the only good comment from Ramsey--that's good ol southern cooking at its finest.

And now, here's the new song from their new album... its Lady Antebellum's "Just a Kiss"... and I dare not touch the remote, lest I get divorced like, tomorrow. 

Up now, in another example of making a 10 minute show into an hour... a funny video about the Idol's decisions in fashion and picking songs.

MY 2nd FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG

"STEVE MCQUEEN" FROM "C'MON C'MON"

Now, let's get to the results!  Dim the lights!   The Straight Adam Lambert stands up, and after a review of last night, is sent to the other side of the stage to "start a group".  My prediction is the whole, two Idols on one side, two Idols on the other, and the remaining Idol will have to decide which group to join... they love to do it, and haven't done it so far this season. 

After Jimmy Iovine says, "Based on last night, I think America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina will be in the bottom three", America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is led to stand on the near side of the stage, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Aww!  She's about to cry!  Look!  Don't cry!!"

Commercial Break.  Fast Forward

Another Hell's Kitchen/Idol video.  We watch.

J-Lo's performance of her new single.  Fast Forward

Commercial Break.  Fast Forward.

More results!  Dim the lights!  The Soulful Jacob Lusk stands up.  After Jimmy Iovine doesn't give him much hope, he is asked to stand next to America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina, who is probably thinking "Crap!"  And now, Haley Cuteness is up for review.   She is sent over to join The Straight Adam Lambert. 

Finally, Deep Voiced Scotty stands.  Seacrusty says, "You have never been in the Bottom Two... and tonight?  No different... you are safe."   But, Seacrusty tells Deep Voiced Scotty to go stand with who he thinks is in The Bottom Two, and Deep Voiced Scotty says, "Don't do that, man, don't do that to me."  Seacrusty pulls him to The Straight Adam Lambert and Haley Cuteness, and says, "you are all three safe!"

Based on Seacrusty saying, "And you might be surprised at the results" earlier in the show, I say, "I am afraid America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is going home."   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "NO!  She can't go home!!!"

After 60 billion votes, the person going home tonight is... The Soulful Jacob Lusk.

 I breath a huge sigh of relief... I was actually nervous and my stomach was kinda twisty at the thought he would stay and America's Darlin Lauren Alaina would go home.  Whew. 

MY FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG EVER? 

 From the album "The Globe Sessions", its "My Favorite Mistake". 

What's the Story, Morning Glory?

"UPDATE"
Mom is alive.  Not well, not kicking, not healthy, but alive.  Thanks for praying and thinking of her and our family. 

"ITS ALL IN THE WRIST"
I was watching the end of the 13th ranked movie on The Dave100, and was about to watch "The Bounty Hunter" with Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston when I looked over to see The Lovely Steph Leann cuddled up in her pink Snuggie.  She's got her eyes closed, earbuds in, trying to desperately finish an audiobook that she checked out online and is due to expire at midnight tonight.

The Lovely Steph Leann, catching a few
winks in the evening

She doesn't like it when I turn on movies she hasn't seen, and wants too, so I hit the DVR button on "The Bounty Hunter" to watch it later, even though I've heard its a dreadful film.  I'm also DVR'ing "The Book of Eli", a great film I did see early this year, and am excited about seeing again later. 

So, to pass the time while I write a little on a late Saturday night, I turned it on The Speed Channel, for a classic episode of "Pimp My Ride"... and here's my thoughts for the night...

So, I've noted the fact that I seldom, if ever, actually get sick.  I wake up with a slightly sore throat or not feeling all that well, and by noon, I'm just right as rain.  Maybe I have a sniffle here and there, but overall, I'm cool.  Sometimes, however, I do pass it on to The Lovely Steph Leann--I can't be selfish and take all the infection, so I want to share.

Getting hurt, however, is another story.  Back in May of 2009, I told the story of the infected finger and the attack that my eyes waged on my body, then earlier this year, my left eye attacked me, and who can forget the coffee inferno that erupted on my foot? 

Now?  I'm in a splint.

About a week or so ago, I was working on our order that had just come into the store.  It had been piled up quite high, but several of us were working hard on getting it organized, dispersed and off of the cafe floor--I had only a few boxes left, and was trying to help Melanie Z from dealing with it later. 

I lifted a box of coffee, a box of oatmeal and some frap roast mix, and as I turned around to my left to take a step, I didn't see the two boxes of apple juice that lay motionless on the floor.  My shins hit the boxes, and I lost complete control.  The coffee, the oatmeal and the frap roast mix flew through the air, landed on the tile with a skid and slid across the floor.  I followed very closely behind, hitting the ground hard, landing on my left knee and my left hand/wrist.

A few customers came over and helped me up, made sure I was okay, I told them I was.  I shook it off, laughed a little, thanked them for their help.  I made my way to the back room, where as soon as I turned the corner out of sight, I slumped to the floor, holding my knee close to my chest, fighting a scream of pain.  A single tear trickled down my cheek.

One of my co-workers, Vee, walked back and saw me, and simply said, "Wow.  You're not alright."  I laughed through the tear, saying, "I'm sure I'll be fine.  Just give me a minute."  My knee hurt so, so bad.  So, for the next several days, I walked with a slight limp as my knee, bruised and and battered, began to heal itself.  Stairs were horrible, but over the last week, I think its going away.

However comma

...I did notice that my left wrist was not feeling as great.  In fact, it kinda had a little pain to it, depending on which way I turned it.  By mid-week, my wrist and hand just hurt when I worked, and by Friday morning, turning a door knob, pushing down the white mocha pump or picking up a gallon of milk with that hand made it hurt like crazy.   Off to see Dr. Vance on Friday afternoon, and he poked and prodded a little, got an X-ray and made sure it wasn't gangrenous, or riddled with AIDS or anything of that sort.  Nope, just a sprain on the wrist, one that will...

...one that will...

...one... will.... that.... wi...

...

...so, as I typed those previous words, I fell asleep.  Like, zonked out.  It was only for a brief few seconds, but it was long enough for my hand on my mouse to slip, the mouse to crash onto the keyboard, and The Lovely Steph Leann to wake up and stare at me.  I decided it was time for bed, so between the words "one that will" and right now, I've slept 8 hours, I've gone to church, I've had lunch with Hurricane Rhett, Amarylis by Morning (up from san antone), JustFish and his wife Kelly Kelly at Ruby Tuesdays, I've gone by the cigar shop to buy a gift card for my brother-in-law for Christmas, I've watched The Lovely Steph Leann pass out on the couch again, I've talked to Melanie Z on the phone about tomorrow at work, and I've listened to half of Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now" album. 

Where was I?

Oh yeah, my wrist.  It'll heal.  In about a week or so. 

The whole point of that entire story was that now I have a splint on my left wrist.  I told Melanie Z a few minutes ago, "Ya know, I don't get sick.  I just get hurt."  And get old. 

"NEED YOU NOW"
Speaking of Lady Antebellum, is there a better country song out right now than "Need You Now"?  I mean, this song has everything--being drunk, being desperate, being broken hearted and hurt, and a hot chick singing half the song.  I'll be honest with ya, for the first few times I heard it, the opening keys on the piano makes it sound a little like "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe, but there are few songs that are farther apart in subject than "I Can Only Imagine" and "Need You Now". 

Was watching some video clip show on CMT, and this song came up, and Darius Rucker put it perfectly... "The song is beautiful... but when you listen to it, it's about nothing more than a booty call.  A late, desperate, drunk booty call.  But they sing it beautifully."

"MORNING GLORY"
I feel so behind when it comes to movies... I did a count today at church, while a slow song was being sung during the choir concert, and I and/or we have seen about 33 movies at the theater this year, and another three that were 2010 movies I and/or we have seen on DVR, premium cable, NetFlix or OnDemand pay-per-view. 

And I'm so, so behind on movie reviews... but here's one for ya.  

"Morning Glory" tells the tale of Becky Fuller, played by the getting-better-and-hotter-as-time-goes-on Rachel McAdams... she's no Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, but she's still great.  Anyway, Becky is a ambitious news producer that, due to layoffs, is forced to take a job with a very low key, struggling network, and is hired to take over their terrible morning show.  Colleen Peck (Diane Keaton) is the longtime co-anchor, and is aghast when to complete the morning show team, Becky coerces/forces an old curmudgeon of a newsman, Mike Pomeroy, played by Harrison Ford--we'll get to him in a minute.



Obligatory picture of my Hollywood
girlfriend



Of course, nothing works out perfectly, so we watch Mike Pomeroy and Colleen Peck not get along, Becky have a meltdown over nothing working, and her love interest, played by Patrick Wilson, try to pursue a woman who is giving 110% to her career and nothing to her own life.

This movie works on two levels... first, Rachel McAdams wins in just about anything she is in.  To me, you recast "Mean Girls" with someone besides Lindsay Lohan, and it still works.  But take out Rachel McAdams' Rachel, and it loses something.  She wins in "Wedding Crashers", she shines in "The Notebook" and even makes "Red Eye" bearable, so when Rachel McAdams is in something, it automatically makes me thing that this might be a pretty good movie. 

Secondly, I don't know what happened to Harrison Ford, but he looks like he's been chewing on an onion for ten years now.  The man IS Indiana Jones and IS Han Solo, two of the most awesome icons in movie history, not to mention he was in four non-Star Wars or Indy related films, in The Dave100, that being "Air Force One" (46th), "Witness" (34th), "The Fugitive" (25th) and "American Graffiti" (15th). 

Harrison.  Smile once in a while.  Seriously. 

Anyway, back to "Morning Glory", this role is perfect for him.  Mike Pomeroy is bitter, is angry, feels like his lot in life sucks, and even though he was very successful back in the day, he fees like this new spot for him on the morning show is beneath him.  Ford trudges through the film with grunts and growls and scowls, and if you didn't know any better, he might have just as much contempt for being in this movie as his character does for being on the show in question.

"Morning Glory" is fun and simple, it doesn't try to hard, and you genuninely like and root for Becky Fuller, and can even empathize with her when she and Mike do the inevitable sit down, where they have the "don't work so hard or you will end up like me" conversation.  The movie is practically out of theaters at this point, so catch it as a rental. 

"UNSTOPPABLE"
Another movie we saw recently was "Unstoppable", starring Chris Pine (Star Trek) and Denzel Washington, and its premise is simple... they work on a train line.  They go out on what is supposed to be an easy, somewhat boring train transfer, moving a train and its cars from one town to the next in rural, blue collar Pittsburgh.

In another part of the state, two bumbling engineers accidentally let a train get away from them.  Just so happens this train is pretty huge.  Just so happens that its carrying toxic chemicals.  Just so happens that there is a train full of school kids on a field trip not too far up the track.  Just so happens that there is a dangerous part of the track up the road.  Just so happens this runaway train is, well, unstoppable.  Just so happens that... Denzel and Chris Pine are on the other train and are going to save the day.

Just so happens... I loved the heck out of this movie.  You know, sometimes you just want to be entertained, you don't want to think too much, you don't want to be taught anything or preached to or leave the theater dwelling on the film's message and so on... with "Unstoppable", none of that happens.  Its not a dumb movie, it just doesn't pretend to be anything that its not... its simply an action film with two likable leads on one train, trying to stop another train from going really, really fast.

This is one of those films that I liked watching now, and when it comes on Starz around May or so, it will be fun to leave on in the background while I'm doing other things around the house. 

"NO TREE"
If you come to The Cabana, you won't see a Christmas tree in our living room.  You won't see stockings on the mantle, you won't find lights hung around the railing out on the porch, or a giant Mickey in a Santa suit sitting in the corner. 

The reason why?  We didn't put a tree up this year.  See, I've always poked fun at those people who had their tree up in November, before Thanksgiving... in my mind, Christmas doesn't start until Thanksgiving is over, regardless of Wal-Mart having their trimmings up in September.

But, I kinda understand why people put it up before Thanksgiving.  See, our tree is huge.  Its a decent tree, its 7.5 feet, and its big.  Its one of those older trees where there are branches to install in the tree, first the bottom row, then the next, then the next, then a few more, until you get 2/3rds the way up the tree, then you stick on the top part.  The branches are supposedly color coded, but the white and the yellow look awfully alike, and the yellow has two levels and its just a nightmare. 

I've got to drag this thing out, put all the branches on, then we have to deal with gaps.  Then we have to deal with lights... though I'm thinking  that, starting next year, I'm going to toss every single strand of lights we have here out into the garbage... lights are now about $1 or $2 a box, so I can spend $10 a year to have fresh lights that I don't have to worry about.  The Lovely Steph Leann is all about colored lights, so they are even cheaper. 

Anyway, after the lights finally go up, we've got the ornaments.  I came into this marriage with about a dozen or so ornaments, whileshe came in with about 779 ornaments.  And she wants every.  single.  one of them.  on the tree. 

When Thanksgiving is over, we just get busy.  Really, really busy.  We had a weekend away that resulted in us spending a few days in Disney World, meeting up with some very dear friends while we were there.  We figured when we got back, we'd get the tree up.  When we got back, we were tired, we were lazy, we figured we'd get the tree up in a few days.

A few more days go by, and I finally ask The Lovely Steph Leann, "What if... what if we didn't put a tree up?"  She pauses, reflects for a minute, and said, "Well, I hope that this doesn't start a tradition of not putting a tree up..."  I told her that we would put it up, just maybe not this year.

Mid-December comes around, and no tree still.  The Lovely Steph Leann informs me that we aren't putting up a tree until we clean the floor.  My argument was simply, why clean the floor when we are putting a tree down, with a tree skirt over it covering the area.  Why not clean it after the tree is put away in January?  No dice, says the wife.  No floor, no tree.  I said I wasn't cleaning that part of the floor, and its a stalemate.

Then, a few days ago, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Well, I'm in agreement... we don't have to put a tree up this year.  Just so long as we don't make this a permanent thing."  I shake my head, thinking that oh, we'll get it up at some point soon.

And here we are, the weekend before Christmas, no tree. And there won't be a tree this year at The Cabana.  Next year, I'm going to become one of those people that I made fun of... our tree is going up in mid-November, BEFORE Thanksgiving.    So when Thanksgiving rolls around, our tree is up, and we don't have to worry about it. 

And it will be a new tree.  Not the beastly monster that we have now, but something a little easier, maybe not smaller, but easier to put up.  Its gotta hold 779 ornaments, after all.

The Top Five Coolest Things of 2009

Here we are!  Finally!

Okay, okay, I know its mid-May.  I know I'm just now finishing up a recap of a year that finished almost five full months ago.  I've been busy, sue me.

Seriously, I hate that its taken this long to finish this list--my true objective is to have the entire 100 list finished by the end of that following January, and only once have I actually accomplished it.  But, as LOST would say, "What happened, happened."

Let's recap this year's list first...

#100 thru 91... Pixar's wish... "Fireflies"... a real high school musical... "The Hammer"... Steak Tartare... "Gran Torino"... "Empire State of Mind"... Tracy Jones... "Blue Harvest"... Slapchop Rap

#90 thru 81... Dairy Queen Real Deals... Stuff you missed in history class... Toy Story double feature... Alissa & Joey... Smiley Face... Joe Wilson... Paepcke gets told... "Men of a Certain Age"... "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"... The Amazing Race
#80 thru 71... Kate Winslet gets an Oscar... Pickles!... Jon Thompson... Hank Azaria's Pharoah... The Muppets and Queen... "Hey"... "High School Musical"... "Hoedown Throwdown"... "30 for 30"... Shankapotomus
#70 thru 61... Pastor Calvin... "My Life in Ruins"... Chipotle... "Tropic Thunder"... "Breakthrough"... ESPN College Football... Christian Brothers Auto... "Native Tongue"... "I Love You Man"... Kris Allen's "Heartless"
#60 thru 51... Ellijay Thanksgiving... "The Proposal"... "Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince" Mindy DA & KT Baby... Swamp Lunch... Baha Burger... "State of Play"... "Fearless"... "Julie and Julia"... Lenning on Idol... The DFC X
#50 thru 41... "Right Round"... "Mother Lover"... "The Rise & Fall of the WCW"... Lunch With... "The Princess & the Frog"... JT Wins Survivor... "Party in the USA" (oh shut up)... "The Blind Side"... Walt Disney World July... New kicks
#40 thru 31... "Sweet Thing"... "Taken"... "John Adams"... "Fallin' for You"... Debating Brad Latta... That great picture... "Star Trek"... Pardon the Interruption... "Avatar"... Ruminations
#30 thru 21...  Tyler's wake up... "The Hangover"... "The Hurt Locker"... Rebecca Jourdan Samuelson... "My Life Would Suck Without U"... Dave and Amanda Tuck... Disney with Family... Justin Fisher... "It"... Go Gators...
#20 thru 11... Where We Eatin'?... "Sunshine Cleaning"... Adam Carolla... "Relator"... "The Book of Basketball"... "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children"... MZ Gets a Starbucks... Inside the Magic... Disney With The Lovely Steph Leann... Bad Movies with Mikey
#10 thru 5...  "B.O.B."... "Up"... Class reunion... The Rays... Disney with the Rays...

Alrighty, now that we are all caught up, let's get on with the five coolest things of all of 2009...

The Fifth Coolest Thing of 2009... "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift
What can I say.... I dig this song.  Its off her latest CD, "Fearless", the 54th coolest thing of 2009, and its everything you want in a teenage country pop song... teen angst, puppy love, jealousy, a "cheer captain, I'm on the bleachers" rivalry...

But what does it for me?  The video.  My favorite video of the entire year matches the favorite song of the entire year... call me a wuss (Wookiee likes to), call me a softie, I'm a sucker for a well played love story, which is why "Notting Hill" is in my top 20 movies all time, and its why this video makes me happy...



My favorite part?  From memory... "Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night, I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry, I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams, I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me..."

Thank you.  Here all week.

The Fourth Coolest Thing of 2009... "Up in the Air"
Sometimes you just know that you're going to enjoy a movie.  That's how it was with "Up in the Air"... I almost couldn't fathom not liking this movie... but the end of the year was approaching quickly, and since I knew this film would find its way on the 100 Coolest of 2009 list (wasn't sure how high... here we are), I had to see it before the year was out.

Smashcut to New Year's Eve, 10pm, The Lovely Steph Leann and I sitting in the Lee Branch movie theater with NBC's Andrea Lindenberg.  Finally wrote my review of the film, and our experience with Andrea, in a post titled "So, Vera Farmiga" on February 20th... said this:

I loved this film, every single minute of it, and though its rare for me to feel this way, I would have been happy with a few more minutes.

It tells the story of Ryan Bingham, played by also-nominated George Clooney, who's job is to travel all over the country and be the mediator when a company wants to lay people off. Natalie (Anna Kendrick) is a new recruit who's developed a system of eliminating the travel--firing via satellite. Bingham convinces their boss (a great Jason Bateman) that Natalie needs to learn how its really done, so she's sent with him across the country to teach her how to do it face-to-face.


Along the way, Ryan keeps running into Alex (Vermiga), who is another frequent flier, and they develop a relationship in hotel rooms and where ever they can find a place... but of course, there might be real feelings there after a while. Jason Reitman, director of "Juno", wrote and directed this flick.

[The movie] does have language, and one scene where you see a nude woman's back, but that's it... and yeah, I loved it. I am eager to see it again when it hopefully comes to the Ghetto Theater here in town. Not only did it have airplanes and airports, which I strangely am fascinated with, it had George Clooney, who like Brad Pitt, I contend if given the right material is a phenomenal actor, it had the cutie-patootie Anna Kendrick, who was the only thing that kept me alive during the movie "Twilight", it had great writing, it had likable, if not sympathetic characters, it featured appearances from the cool voiced Sam Elliott, the comedic Danny McBride, the always awesome JK Simmons, "The Hangover"'s Zach Galifianakis and the I-am-strangely-enthralled-with Melanie Lynskey, and... it had Vera Farmiga.

Just a note... I still have my own list of The Dave100, my choices for my favorite 100 movies of all time.  One of my rules has always been that a movie cannot make this list unless it is at least three years old--I think its silly to declare a favorite "anything" when it comes to movies or music because of something that is so fresh and new.  Having said that, a short list of movies that I think might be on the 2015 edition of The Dave100 include "Up", "Iron Man", "Sunshine Cleaning", "The Dark Knight" and yes, "Up in the Air".

The Third Coolest Thing of 2009... Toy Story Mania
On June 23rd, I did Part I of "Top Ten Disney Must-Dos", and a day later, I did Part II... and not to spoil it for you, but the top spot?  The top Disney Must-Do?  A little ride in Hollywood Studios called Toy Story Mania".  Here's what I wrote about it...

You will have more fun on this ride than possibly any other ride in the park. The Rockin' Roller Coaster is faster. The Tower of Terror will kick you in the stomach harder. Small World is more classic. Everest is bigger. But Toy Story Midway Mania appeals to anyone who's ever had fun throwing rings or tossing balls or trying to win at skee ball or trying to get those stupid little red tickets in an arcade... because "arcade" barely covers it.

You get in your little car, behind a goofy gun with a pull string. You put on the 3-D glasses, and then are whirled around to a screen where Jessie & Woody greet you, asking you to practice. You pull the string and... a little paintball appears on the screen, splattering a plate Woody is holding with red paint.

You are whisked away to five areas, breaking plates, popping balloons, tossing rings and more... your score is kept via your little digital readout, and the entire time, you are eager to beat the person next to you, and laughing all the way. Its awesome. The Lovely Steph Leann and I did it five times last February, and though we could only do it once, this is a ride that is on a short list of "we have to ride this every time we go. Every. Time." kind of attractions

The Second Coolest Thing of 2009... My New iPod
Here's what I wrote on the 30th of December in a post called "Its 3am, I Must Be Lonely"...

The Lovely Steph Leann did well this year.... she usually does, but this year especially. I got some great stuff, like some books, my "Mountain Soul II" CD by Patty Loveless that I was hoping for, a cute little Mickey Mouse tie, Super Mario for the Wii, and in my stocking, I pulled out some candy (Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are the best, aren't they?), some weird little "put them in water and they grow!" animals that The Lovely Steph Leann got a big kick out of and at the bottom... an iPod Touch.

I held it, I looked at her, looked back at it, then looked back at her smiling face. "You... you got me... got me... an iPod Touch?" I stuttered. Very little leaves me stammering, but this did the trick. She smiled, and told me that she won it at work in some sort of contest... she was quick to point out that, "Had I not won this, you wouldn't have gotten it. Just so you know."

I had kinda been wanting an iPhone, but my issue with that was the phone bill per month would be higher... not necessarily the actual phone plan, but the cost of all the bells and whistles that went with it. An iPod Touch is basically the same thing, just without that pesky phone part. I can connect to the interweb, download applications, load contact info and so on... in fact, I'm not even sure what I'm capable of with it. Tomorrow, I'm going to try to launch a cupcake business and tap into the space shuttle interface.

Its been a learning curve, using both iPods on the same iTunes... yeah, yeah, I know, poor me, pity me and so on. I'm just telling you how it is. The Touch is great, though... the screen is really wide, so I've enjoyed watching music videos and TV shows on it... on a weekend trip to Tullahoma, TN, last weekend, I managed to take in Family Guy's "Blue Harvest" and the first episode of "Mad Men", a show I have a feeling I'm about to plunge headfirst into.

(I plunged headfirst into "Blue Harvest", and it ended up being the 92nd coolest thing of 2009... and I've dug into half of the first season of "Mad Men", and its awesome)

The Coolest Thing of 2009... Disney World with the Guys
So, at some point in late July, I had just gotten back from a quick three day venture to The Happiest Place on Earth with Rev'rn Ty, Amy Mc and Tommy Mc. I was sitting with Tyler, The Lovely Steph Leann's younger brother and by law, my brother-in-law, and we were discussing said trip to Orlando, and he mentioned something about Fall Break at The University of Alabama.

Trey, enjoying an apple the first morning.  We had arrived about three hours prior to this, we were all dead tired, and when Trey stands up here, he trips backwards over his chair.

I, out of the blue, half joking, kinda serious, said, "You want to go to Disney on Fall Break?" He stared at me, and said, "Are you serious?" I replied, "Sure. I mean, I'll have to ask The Lovely Steph Leann what she thinks about it, but yeah, why not. Bring the roomdudes."

Tyler texted his roommates (Trey's response?  "Balls yes"), and within a few days, it all came together. On Wednesday, we would leave out around 8 or 830pm, drive all night, arrive at All Star Movies (where five of us would stay in a four person room) and hit the Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom for three full days, and some on Sunday before heading back.

Tyler and Jonathan trying on new hats in Tomorrowland

I had two conditions... 1) I didn't drive a vehicle that is parked at The Cabana. This is not to say I wouldn't drive at all, but Toni Rocki Honda wasn't built for five--its barely built for three--and I knew darn tootin' well that The Lovely Steph Leann was not about to let me take her car to Orlando. 2) I got a bed. I figured I'd sleep next to one of the guys, and I did, but I wasn't doing the floor. I'm too old to do such things. Other than that, let the magic reign.  (from October 15th, 2009)

And the magic did reign.  This was just about the perfect trip.  Five guys who get along well, one of them (me), knowing exactly how to attack Walt Disney World for maximum fun, how to work the crowds and when to (and when not to) ride rides, see shows and eat at certain places.  It was as if all the other trips I had been on up until this time was God preparing me for this very trip... and I was ready.

Jon and Jonathan on the teacups in Fantasyland.  Trey sat out because he just can't handle the spin.

In early October, it was myself, Tyler Campbell, who had been a couple of times in years past, Trey Cartledge, who had also been some years ago, Jonathan Lenning (who was the focus of the 52nd coolest thing of 2009), who had also been way back, and Jon Thompson (the 78th coolest thing of 2009), who had never, ever been.

We ate a Biergarten in Germany, we ate at The T-Rex cafe, one guy was the focal point of what I like to call The Smoky Bus Affair, we saw Fantasmic, we saw Finding Nemo: The Musical, we enjoyed funnel cake while watching Wishes, we rode everything from Soarin' to Peter Pan's Flight, we napped on the train, we enjoyed Dole Whip in Adventureland, we saw one of the guys on the Idol Experience stage, the four guys got to participate in the Backlot Movie Tour, we searched for Hidden Mickeys, we met Princesses,

Jonathan, myself, Trey and Jon, buckling up for a flight across California, via Soarin'

The Lovely Steph Leann had a hard time with this trip being number one.  She wondered why our anniversary trip didn't make the top spot, and my main reason?  She got sick.  Talked about that when it our trip was declared the 12th Coolest Thing of 2009 earlier.  And it almost ended up number two, as getting that iPod Touch was a strong contender for the top spot... and had this list been completed in January, it might have been a Disney with the Guys at #2, iPod Touch #1 finish, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this was just about the perfect trip.  The weather was perfect, the cost was minimal, the food was awesome, the company was fantastic--seriously, I cannot say enough about how amazing, Spirit filled and "good clean fun" natured these guys are--and The Most Magical Place on the Earth was ours for the four days we were there.

Thanks guys for making this trip the absolute coolest thing of 2009.

Hot Sister Cheney Meets Hootie

Help me get to 100 fans... search "Clouds In My Coffee" on Facebook, and become a fan! Its easy! Its free! Its the right thing to do.

Finally... a week and a half of promising, I'll deliver the new music on Clouds in My Coffee. Its always hard not just doing the same songs over and over, cause frankly, I know what I like. I'm a repetitive person, to a point--like, I'll eat the same cereal over and over for two or three months, then after that, I don't want cereal for six months.

Music is like that with me. I have my famous "Hannah Pruitt" playlist (the story of that name is listed in a previous post) which gets changed out every month... artists should consider it an honor to get on this list, as these are songs--new and old--that I will listen to over and over for weeks on end. Then, I'll punt them out of the list. All of the following songs are from this current edition of Hannah Pruitt.

"You're So Vain" by Carly Simon... this stays on the website. It just does. Get over it.

"You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift... my current favorite song of the year, and should rank quite highly in the Coolest Things of 2009. I think what makes this song for me, though, is the video. Unfortunately, for some unknown copyright reason, its hard to find. But me, being as awesome as I am, have it here...




I think they'd give special permission to have it appear here on Clouds in My Coffee. Right? Right.

"Good Intentions" by Toad the Wet Sprocket... You know where I found this song? On the FRIENDS Soundtrack CD, one of the first five CDs I've ever purchased. I remember its also from 1995... because back then, I was going out with Julie Haynes, and I made her a couple of mix tapes with my favorite songs of that year, and this was my 2nd favorite song of 1995. The first? "Dreamlover" by Mariah Carey. Or was it "Fantasy"? Either one.

"Love Song" by Sara Bareilles... She gets the award for the last name thats hardest to remember how to spell. I've written a post that I haven't put up here yet (until just a few minutes ago, I think I forgot I had it) and its basically how to dissect a Romantic Comedy. I think I need to add one more step... when you make the trailer, you need to put this song over it. Why not? 104 other Rom Coms do it. By the way, I think I've heard this song so much, I've tried to get tired of it... and I can't. Love it.

"Just Started Lovin' You" by James Otto... This should have been on the Coolest Things of 2008, but I didn't know the name of it, nor who sang it, so I had no point of reference other than "that cool country song where the guy sings like this and..." I plan on putting it on the end of this year's list, with an honorable mention, a la "Bourne Ultimatum".

"Steel Bars" by Michael Bolton... Sigh. That's fine. Laugh. Make fun of me. I don't care. I dig this song. Heck, I dig Michael Bolton, puffy Kenny G hair and all. This song is cool. Okay, maybe "cool" is not the right word, but seriously, from 1988 to 1996, he had one heck of an 8 year run.

"Running From an Angel" by Hootie & the Blowfish... my favorite song from one of my all time favorite CDs, "Cracked Rear View". I was riding with Hootie with Hot Sista' Cheney (another name with a story, lest you think Chris Hansen and I are BFF) recently, and I took a gander at her iPod. I think a person's iPod can tell you as much about them as just about anything else (unless you've got 10,000 songs on it, like mine, in which you would probably deduce I'm either OCD or bipolar... or maybe ADOS... you know, Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!) and I saw that she only had two or three Hootie songs on it. She's a bit younger than I, so naturally, why would she have more than "Let Her Cry" and "Hold My Hand"?

That's the problem with today's younglings... all they care about is Eminem and Lady GaGa and anything with a beat that talks about the po-po and smackin' up my beeyotch and so on and so forth. I would love a radio station that played some good 90s stuff. Sheryl Crow, Boyz II Men, pre-skank Mariah, pre-crack Whitney, even early pre-crazy Britney Spears would be fine. Am I the only one? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Anyway, in our conversation, we discussed how she needed to learn more Hootie, and for that matter, early, good Sheryl Crow. Before she went all "use one piece of toilet paper" crazy enviromental.

So sayeth Sheryl: "I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement [sic] I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

Later she said she was kidding. I'm not sure I fully believe that she was kidding.



Found these two magazine covers online... Sister Cheney, meet Hootie. Hootie, Paige.

Anyway, I ended up making Hot Sista' Cheney a couple of CDs, one being Hootie's entire "Cracked Rear View" album and a few songs from "Fairweather Johnson" and "Musical Chairs, and other with Sheryl Crow, most of her great stuff from the first several excellent albums, with emphasis on "The Globe Sessions", one of my favorite CDs.

Where was I?

"My Life Would Suck Without You" by Kelly Clarkson... This song makes a 2nd month appearance on the list. I don't dig all of her stuff, some of it is really silly and monotonous... but what I do enjoy, I really enjoy. Her song "Behind These Hazel Eyes" made the Top 100 (#25) in 2005, where she herself ended up the 6th Coolest Thing of that year. And this song? Bound for the Top 20, perhaps even a Top 10 appearance, if not for the emergance of "You Belong With Me", as listed above. Kelly and Taylor, slug it out. I knew a girl named Kelly Taylor once. She was pretty.

"Hard Luck Woman" by Garth Brooks... This was featured on the KISS tribute album entitled "KISS My A$$", which though the use of "$" doesn't disguise the words true intentions, its still a comical and clever title anyway. Garth doesn't sound like Garth here, but he does sound awesome. I actually, and this might be sacrelige to some, like this better than the original.

"Dream Lover" by Mariah Carey... I've often lamented my sorrow at how Mariah has turned into a string wearing punchline. She used to be so great, when every song didn't have a subtitle of "(featuring T-Pain)" or "(featuring Common)" or "(feat. insert stupid common word or acronym based rapper gangsta name that will forgotten in a year other than bloggers using it as a joke here)". But I digress. I was tempted to post a few pictures of Mariah, one from 1994 and one from last year, but any picture of Mariah in the last few years is bound to not be Emmy Turnbow safe.

"Motownphilly" by Boyz II Men... This song never gets old. However, I'm sure there aren't many below, say, 28 years old who will understand the line "A-B-C, BBD, the East Coast Family..." in this song.

"I Guess the Lord Must Be in New York City", by Harry Nilsson... Finally, this song is available on playlist.com, where is where I pull my playlist from. I tried to link to it before, and wasn't able to so do, but viola! Here it is. One of the classic 70's Songwriter's Tunes, its also featured in one of my top 15 movies in The Dave100.

"Basic Instructions" by Burlap to Cashmere... This is the album version, I believe, and still a great song. The better one, though, is the live version from "Live at the Bitter End", a five song EP released shortly after their first (and only?) album... it might not have been their only album, but it was really the only one with any relevance. The live version is a brilliant driving song, wedged in between "La Grange" and "Everything Zen" on my driving playlist. By the way, it took stupid me forever to figure out the "Basic instructions before leaving Earth" reference.

"Fingerprints of God" by Steven Curtis Chapman... Its underrated. But awesome. Simply fantastic. One of those "Let me sit back, listen and remember and praise how awesome God is." Well, those were the words I used to describe "Speechless", which was originally on here... however, even though it stays "Speechless", it plays "Fingerprints of God". Which is great too, so we'll go with it.

And thats our new list. You like it? Tell me what you think.

Front Porch Sign Says Yard Sale

The front porch sign says yard sale... real estate sign says "sold"... family picnic table holds all that it can hold... on the grass and on the sidewalk, yeah there must be half the town... ain't it funny how a broken home can bring the prices down... Sammy Kershaw's "Yard Sale", from the 1991 album "Don't Go Near the Water".

Old school country, really. Its from Sammy's album "Don't Go Near the Water", debuting in 1991. It really is a little cheesy, but its pure, true country... the chorus says, "...They're sorting through whats left of you and me... paying yard sale prices for each golden memory... oh, I never thought I'd ever live to see... the way their sorting through whats left of you and me..."

The video is even better... poor Sammy watches his woman take her ring off, lay it on the table and slowly walk out. We see him just wander around the yard, watching people pay a few bucks each for all of the prized and cherished possessions of their marriage.

The video is here, but YouTube won't let me post it. Some crap about copyright infringement... whatever.

Anyway, this was all up in my mental jukebox this weekend as The Lovely Steph Leann and I raced around the house gathering up stuff out of The Cabana's depths, cabinets, closets and so on... we were invited by The Tebershaws to join in with their own yard sale... Tiffiany, the Tebershaw lady, is going to have herself a little baby, so she and Teber are working on clearing some space for a youngling. Gemini and Heather King recently downsized into a smaller habitat, so they had a bunch of stuff to get rid of.

I mean, its a yard sale. Stuff that you had five years ago, stuff that you held so dear and precious, stuff that you'd neeeeeeeevvvvvveeeerrrr get rid of (and I say this tongue in cheek, as typically I was the one that did just that very thing) suddenly, now, don't seem so important. Yeah, there was a few things I kept, for reasons here and there, but sifting through boxes, seeing stuff I hadn't since before we left The Casa de Pesos for The Cabana

You left two Sunday dresses in the backporch and on the line... lady just brought them to me, said she thinks they'll fit just fine... well, there goes the baby's wagon and the mirror from the hall... I'd better take just one last look before they take it all...

Anyway, here's a few snapshots from the weekend...


The driveway of The Tebershaws home, where we lined up three couples worth of stuff. It was kinda comical to begin with, as we actually had an "electronics", a "home decor", a "Christmas" and an entire table of picture frames, of which we sold nearly all of them.


I finally sold what remained of my home video collection. Yes, I do have a few irreplaceable videos here at The Cabana, but mostly, this was it. Back in 2004, The Lovely Steph Leann and I--both married in our late 20s, so we carried into the marriage numerous things that we suddenly had two of, like dishes, furniture, movies, towels and so on, of which I had to get rid of most of mine because hers was better--joined forces with Mikey and his wife Ashleia, and we had a yard sale. Mikey and I, tenants of The Deuce, probably owned at least 600 videos between the two of us, and both of us were jumping headfirst into the DVD revolution.

Well, that yard sale, The Lovely Steph Leann and I made about 700 dollars, Mikey and Ashleia made somewhere around 500, and probably half of both of our totals was videos. And we managed to sell several this morning, first at $2, then $1 per. Top left, you'll see my Monkees video collection, when I used to get a tape each month with three episodes of the serious. I was a diehard Monkees fan back in the day, and still am to some respect. Wookiee used to make fun of me. The "Abs of Steel", however... not mine.


The price sticker says 25 cents on it, but we taxed it much more. Its a great cup, though. Whatever you put in it, it looks great and smells great and seems awesome on the outside. What you actually get, though? Not so much. (I had a dozen of these rolling this morning...)


Not sure which couple this belonged to, but it seemed like a funny picture... a contridiction, if you will.


Gemini sold some boots that had been worn in Iraq, carrying with it geniune Iraqi dirt.


Not to be outdone, this kangaroo puppet is straight from Australia. Seriously. My friend Darlene brought it to me when she went there on missions... finally, though, 12 years or so later, it was time to let it go.

That's the problem with friends that go on missions and bring stuff back... you feel so obliged to keep it, because not only were they nice enough to think of you, but its stuff thats from... well, around the world. Scotty Latta brought us back a stuffed banana, while my little sister Ashley brought back some Chinese stuff from... China. We've still got them.

My most prized "missions gift" though is a hand carved mancala set from South Africa that my friend AmyAlex brought back years ago. She and I have lost touch, but I still have that set, and won't get rid of it for anything.

On another topic, The Lovely Steph Leann and I find ourselves... well, I "find" myself, she seeks it out... watching "Clean House" on, what, Oxygen? WE? Style! Yeah, that's it, Style... anyway, I preferred "Clean Sweep" on TLC, mostly because it amused me that a family show would sample "Blowin' Me Up With Her Love" by JC Chasez for its title tune, but "Clean House" is the same concept... in the show, usually around the yard sale time, the head designer appeals to the homeowner about a certain item, one that they just don't want to get rid of, because it holds a special memory of a loved one, often times deceased.

For me, this moment came when this woman picked up my dad's old camera.

It was a Minolta, with two lenses, and one of those flashes that towered above the camera itself, in a big column, and the flash faces out in a rectangle. It was in the case, still with the instructions, had been used maybe, four, five times, ever. Value of the camera when purchased, with all the accrutrements? At least $400. And here it was, some 23, 24 years after it had been bought, and almost 10 years since my dad passed, the camera sat on the table with a $20 price tag. And this woman dared to haggle me about the price. Actually, I had already marked it down to $10, so I didn't understand why this woman wouldn't pay the full ten, not bring it down more...

Of course, to her it was just an old camera, much like if I went to her house and spotted a 1987 edition of Univision Monthly on her table... to me, just an old magazine, to her it might contain a special story that means something, or perhaps her cousin was featured in a novella on that Thursday night or whatever... one man's trash...

So, she paid 7. I took the money, she put the camera strap on her shoulder, and she walked away. I stood, silently, watching the camera go down the driveway, disappear into a hatchback and drive away forever. With my right hand, I wiped away a little moisture in my eye (it was dusty in that garage, mind you) and then went out marking other stuff down, as it was getting later in the day.

MZ asked me later why I got rid of it, and at first, I didn't know... but I knew. It was taking up space. I was never, ever going to use it. It was so old, I wasn't even sure it all worked. And I've got mementos from my dad from before he died, so it wasn't as if this camera held a lock of his hair or something... it was... well, it was just a thing. And I'm okay with it being gone.


What I wrote on the box speaks for itself.


On top, kids, thats a Vee Cee Are... it stands for Video Cassette Recorder. Say it with me... Vee... Cee... Are... and below that is a DVD player that we only sold because we just bought a Blu Ray player.

I wanted to keep this one, and replace one upstairs in the guest room... this one here belonged to me, therefore, it was a better machine, and the one I wanted to replace belonged to The Lovely Steph Leann. And guess which one we still have, and which one we sold. Yup.


Was there any bigger misleading investment potential than that of Beanie Babies? The Lovely Steph Leann even commented that ten years ago, these things would go for a few bucks more than the 50 cents we were selling them for here.

So that was our yard sale, and our end of it pulled in about $230 or so. Course, to look in The Cabana's hallways and such, you wouldn't know that anything was missing... everything just collapsed in on itself to fill the now empty space.

"Oh, they're sorting through what's left of you and me... paying yard sale prices for each golden memory... oh, I wonder what you'd say if you could see... the way they're sorting through whats left of you and me...."

Everything That Glitters

"She says she hates to sleep alone, but she'll do it tonight. She wants to grab her telephone, but she knows it ain't right. So if he won't call, she'll survive, and if he don't care, she'll get by. Climb into bed, bury her head, and cry... She says she feels like she's addicted to a real bad thing, always sitting, waiting, wondering if the phone will ring, she knows she bounces like a yo-yo when he pulls her string... it hurts to feel like such a fool." -- "Addicted", my 5th favorite Dan Seals song

Dan Seals passed away March 25th, 2009, of mantle cell lymphoma. Apparently he'd been suffering from it for a while... and it makes me sad. I really liked Dan Seals. And I felt that you, the reader, should know him. Like the music, don't like the music, but his career and success is respectable.

The name might not be familiar, and if you are not a longtime country fan, its likely you would have never heard of Dan Seals. However, you are a 70s soft rock pop fan, you might be familiar with England Dan and John Ford Coley... same Dan.

Dan was born in 1948 close to Dallas, Texas, where he went to school. His brother, Jim Seals, played saxophone on The Champs' immortal "Tequila", and eventually teamed up with Dash Seals in the 60s to form the band Seals & Croft ("...summer breeze... makes me feel fine... blowin' through the jasmine in my mind..." or "darlin' if you want me to be... closer to you... get closer to me..."), his other brother Brady spent some time in Little Texas ("ooh... God blessed Texas..."), and then Dan joined with classmate and friend John Colley to form England Dan and John Ford Coley.


Here's a performance of my 4th favorite Dan Seals song, the classic made with John Ford Coley

Colley shortened his last name by a letter to Coley, then added the "Ford" as his middle name to help with the pronunciation flow. "England" was a childhood nickname born out of his love for the Beatles, so England Dan and John Ford Coley became a duo.

Their hits in the 70s were numerous, including "I'd Really Love to See You Tonight", "Nights are Forever Without You" and "We'll Never Have to Say Goodbye Again". All in all, they had 6 Top 40 hits between 1976 and 1979, before eventually parting ways. John Ford Coley actually became a Christ Follower in 1999, still performs with some 70s groups that won't go away (you know, groups like Ambrosia and Poco) probably at county fairs and small town festivals that like like say "Hey, come to our event... we have The Edgar Winter Group! Live in concert!"

Dan Seals tried his soft rock solo career in 1980, signing with Atlantic Records and releasing his first album, "Stones", as England Dan. He ended up in a struggle with the IRS, almost lost everything, then started over with his album "Harbinger". Like "Stones", this album was a commercial failure, charting no singles and selling few copies. Dan Seals rethought his approach, then began to adapt his style for the country side of things...

"I just had to call you babe, I got your letter and I understood almost every line. You said TLC is what you miss from me, you want back in my arms PDQ. Ooh, I love this game, them three letters by your name, LOA. What does that say? She said oh baby it's so simple, did not mean to make it hard to understand. I've been gone so long I want you to know I miss my man oh yes I do. And that message for you tells you what I'm gonna do when I get home oh..." -- "Love On Arrival", my 3rd favorite Dan Seals song

Country in the mid-80s was much different than what we know today. The country rockin' style of artists like Rascal Flatts, Kenny Chesney, The Dixie Chicks and even Carrie Underwood was unheard of, Garth Brooks had yet to transform the genre, and it was two sided.

First, there are the immortal artists, those that will never grow old, those that now perhaps their legendary status and reputation possibly surpass much of their music's quality itself... The Highwaymen (Cash, Jennings, Nelson, Kristofferson), Merle Haggard, Hank Jr..

Then you had the softer country side that were artists like Marie Osmond, the Judds, Don Williams, Eddie Rabbitt... these were artists that would likely never get much airtime nowadays aside from some sort of "classic country" hour at noon or on Saturday nights. Back then? They were the Chesney, Paisley, Urban, Swift of the day. And it was in this genre that Dan Seals found his niche.

Dan Seal's first album for Capitol Records, where he signed after leaving Atlantic, was called "Rebel Heart", and though it wasn't a blockbuster, it did much better than his first two pop albums. Next was "San Antone", in 1984, where he finally started seeing some chart success, first with "(You Bring Out) the Wild Side of Me" and "My Baby's Got Good Timing"--classic country song titles.

His biggest success came in 1985's "Won't Be Blue Anymore", and one of his biggest hits came when he teamed with Marie Osmond for "Meet Me In Montana", the first of 9 straight number one country hits. "Bop" came next, was a number one single, and won Single of the Year at 1986's CMA Awards.

The singles came, as did the success, classics like "You Still Move Me", "Addicted", "They Rage On", "One Friend" and a song perhaps written about Samson, "Big Wheels in the Moonlight"... "I came from a town that was so small, if you looked both ways you could see it all..."

Dan Seals released "On Arrival" in 1990, and it produced the number one singles "Love on Arrival" and "Good Times", a remake of the Sam Cooke R&B classic. This was his final success in an album, and these were his last Top 40 singles.

(Marie) "Well were stuck here in these hills that they call mountains. (Dan) Darlin' back home in your arms is right where I want to be. (Marie & Dan) Won't you meet me in Montana... I wanna see the mountains your eyes. I had all of this life I can handle, meet me underneath that big Montana sky... " -- "Meet Me In Montana" by Dan Seals & Marie Osmond, my 2nd favorite Dan Seals song

Dan Seals soft, guitar plucky style was suddenly out of favor by the early 90s, giving way to the Garth Brooks kind of country music... not that this was a bad thing, mind you, but country was changing. No one wanted to hear Don Williams, Juice Newton, Earl Thomas Conley, John Conlee... or Dan Seals.

He signed with Warner Brothers, released "Walking the Wire" and "Fired Up", did an acoustic album of his earlier hits on "In a Quiet Room" for Intersound, then released a few more albums for TDC Records.

Dan Seals suffered from mantle cell lymphoma (MCL), one of the rarer of non-Hodgkins lymphomas, rare enough that there are only about 15,000 patients presently in the U.S. He had radiation treatments in June of 2008 and even received a stem cell transplant in December of last year, but eventually, the MCL won out. On March 25th, 2009, Dan Seals lost his life, passing away quietly at his daughter's home. He was 61.

And here's my favorite Dan Seals song... its from the album "Won't Be Blue Anymore", and its all about a rodeo rider, trying to raise a daughter on his own after his wife has apparently left them for brighter lights and bigger arenas...


Ten albums in a duo, and seventeen solo albums, along with six different "best of" compilations, thats work on 33 different albums. That, my fellow music lovers, is a career. Thank you, Dan Seals, for making my country music childhood enjoyable with your music and your love of such, and though I'll be honest, I thought "Bop" was rather silly, so much of your music makes me sing along and makes me smile.



When it comes to Dan Seals, everything that glitters truly is gold.

Idol: Welcome to Dollywood

Hey... have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!! Hey, what song does Dolly Parton sing in the shower? "Smoky Mountain Rain"! Do you remember when you were a kid, how poop jokes, fart jokes and boobie jokes were the funniest things in the world? Of course, the words "poop", "fart" and "boobie" were almost taboo... in a whisper, you'd hear someone go, "...you... said "poop"..."

Who am I kidding? To most guys, those jokes are funny now. In the same manner that guys would NEVER point out another guy who has brown shoes and a black belt (mostly cause we won't notice), girls don't find these things funny.

Anyway, I only bring all of it up, because the Country Diva herself, Dolly Parton is on the air...

This.

Is American Idol.

(cue music here)

Ryan starts us out with an unfunny April Fool's Joke... "This week's show has been preempted, due to legal action pending from the American Vocal Coaches Association... April Fools!"

Dolly is one of those icons that everyone loves. I mean, fans of Johnny Cash, Megadeth, Michael Buble, Mariah Carey, Factor Seven... they all either love, or at least respect, Dolly. She's someone that I would just love for The Lovely Steph Leann and I just to sit down and have dinner with. And I'm going to go on a small limb here and say you'll hear two songs: "9 to 5" and "I Will Always Love You".

Brooke White
And one of my favorite Dolly songs, "Jolene", is being taken on by My Next American Idol Brooke White. Guitar in hand, accompanied by a solo drummer, a violinist and a backup singer, she starts off... well, just ehh... I've heard better. This is hard for me, cause I am anticipating the Brooke White cd that will be released sometime in 2009 (I don't have that confirmed, I'm just guessing).

I'm curious as to how Simon will approach this week, not being much of a country fan. Paula might actually be the only one who appreciates this show.

Randy says it was aight, and that this is her style of music. Paula blows sunshine, telling her, "You are Brooke White." Good job, Paula. Simon says My Next American Idol Brooke White lacked emotion, and even says the three backup players looked odd together.

Ryan says, "This is Brooke White!"

David Cook
Much like Chris Daughtry two seasons ago, David Rob Thomas Cook has set himself up to be The Guy. You know, everyone wants to know what he's going to do. This can be good or bad... last season, it was Sanjaya who was The Guy. And that wasnt good at all.

Just saw a commercial for "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader"... a two hour episode on Thursday. Really? I mean, two hours?

David Rob Thomas Cook mentions the band Doxology, who he borrowed an arrangement from... I only mention this because Doxology was kinda mad that David Rob Thomas Cook did in fact borrow their version of a song from a few weeks ago, and not mention them at all. So, he antes up. The band responded today.

He'll be doing "Little Sparrow", one I'm not really familiar with, though in the pre-performance video, he sounds good and Dolly loves him.

DRTC sounds great... seriously, this guy has a great, great voice. When My Next American Idol Brooke White gets voted off, because that's what always happens, I might elect DRTC as the Next My Next American Idol.

Randy liked it, especially the original arrangement of "Little Sparrow". Paula likes his haircut, saying something about his music like flowers, sunshine, birds, rainbows and fluffernutters. Simon liked last week better, but says, "If you can make a song about sparrows good, which you did, then congratulations."

Ramiele Malubay
Perhaps we can do a double elimination... Little Ramy and KLC, gone in one night. Little Ramy is singing "Do I Cross Your Mind", a great little country oldie.

I looked up at the television, and the camera angle almost gave you a straight-up-the-skirt angle. I threw up in my mouth. Little Ramiele is... just not that good. I mean, why is she still here? I'd love to see CheezyDeezy take on some Dolly.

Randy says he wasnt' jumping up and down, but it was aight, pretty good. Paula is proud of Little Ramy, who laughs as Paula is talking. Simon says it was just forgettable. Cute, but cruise shippy.

Jason Castro
Ryan is sharing fanmail with The Dreadlocked One, a bunch of postcards all from the same girl. Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do (the sound made with a knife slashing motion). Creepy.

The Dreadlocked One is singing "Traveling Through", who Dolly loved to hear. He starts out with a drummer beating a bongo on the side, and guitar in hand. The Dreadlocked One sounds really good here... this seems like the perfect song for him.

FYI... this song, "Traveling Through", is actually about we are just traveling through this world, with Jesus on the other side. Good stuff... Dolly is a believer, from what I gather. Of course, this was the Oscar nominated song from "Transamerica".

Randy says it was pretty good, while Paula says it was one of his strongest. Then she stumbles over the sunshine. Simon didn't like the song at all. Somehow, I thought he might say that. The word "Jesus" was mentioned.

And just a question... has Randy ever heard a song that started awesome, and fell apart at the end? "Like, you did yo' thang at the beginning, but it was just aight for me at the end"?

Carly Smithson
The Irishgirl is actually singing my very favorite Dolly song, "Here You Come Again". The only thing that makes me somewhat of an authority on Dolly's music is that I grew up on this kind of old country... Dolly, Cash, Waylon and Willie, The Statlers, The Oak Ridge Boys, Billy Crash Craddock, T Graham Brown, Mel McDaniel... I remember when "Elvira", "Baby's Got Her Blue Jeans On" and some of this stuff was brand spankin' new.

Anyway, Irish Carly starts out really slow, just a single guitarist and herself. Carly sounds awesome... but I like the pace of the original song, so turning it into a complete ballad leaves a little to be desired for me. So, like, I like the voice, but not the arrangement.

Randy says it was one of the best of the night. Paula says glorious sunshine. She's pherklempt. Simon says it was good, not great. Then he tells her that her outfit isn't good... "At this stage, you have to start looking more like a star--and I'm not seeing that progression at the moment."

Maybe Carly should put a tattooed dress on that chick on her arm.

David Archuleta
His followers are called Arch Angels. Seriously.

He is singing "Smoky Mountain Memories", back to the ballads that got him this far. What's great about this show is that a month ago, Young David was the heir apparent for the next Idol crown, but after a stumble here, a forgotten lyric there, its not a race for second place for everyone else now. Not if David Rob Thomas Cook, Irish Carly, or My Next American Idol Brooke White have anything to say about it.

By the way, Carly Simon's new cd, her first cd of original music, is being released on April 29th, only at Starbucks. That's right... I'm all over it with my discount.

Oh, Young David sings great. Randy says, "Correction... THAT was the best performance of the night!" Paula blows sunshine. Simon says he was absolutely on the money.

The Arch Angels yell "We Love You!" from the front row.

Do you think Michael Jackson is at home, rooting for Young David?

Kristy Lee Cook
Awww... if you've never heard "Coat of Many Colors", you're missing it. It's a story about a girl who's family was so poor, that she didn't have a jacket to wear to school... so her mother gathered up scraps of fabric, and made her a "Coat of Many Colors", which the girl was so proud of. Problem is, when she got to school, everyone laughed at her, and her coat. "They didn't understand it, and I tried to make them see, one is only poor if they choose to be. I know we had no money, but I was rich as I could be, in my coat of many colors my mama made for me." Classic. One of the greatest country music songs, if not any genre, ever. Brilliant.

And its a true story--this happened to Dolly when she was a child. And who better to butcher this amazing song that good ol' KLC?

This is actually up KLC's alley, being a twangy country classic. Randy liked it, Paula blows sunshine, and Simon says "pleasant, but forgettable". She's barefoot too! Another Idol tried that a few years ago... it didn't work.

For all my kidding on KLC and Ramiele, I actually think I like Little Ramy's singing better... but I think I'd enjoy hanging out with KLC more. Ramiele looks much, much hotter though. Either way, they both have to go.


Here's the real song.

Syesha Mercado
And yes, here's the Idol career killer... "I Will Always Love You". Chances are, she's headed to the Whitney version. I like the Black Julia Stiles, but this is dangerous...

Like most of the Idols tonight, Syesha is accompanied with only one instrumentalist, this one being a piano.

The Black Julia Stiles starts out... not bad. I mean, anytime this song is sung by anyone, be it KT or Mikey or Sum42 (41? Who cares, they still suck), its going to be compared to Whitney, not Dolly.

And I'll be honest... The Black Julia Stiles did it right. And that last note was awesome...

Randy admits that was the biggest tiger of the night, and did aight with it. Paula blows sunshine. Simon says what everyone is thinking... the song paled in comparison to Whitney, which is what everyone will think of, so it may or may not help.

The newest Mac commercial has Mac and PC sitting, talking to a therapist. The therapist's name is Corinne Bohrer (her real name, I mean--her character here is not named). Corinne has been featured in several commercials in the last few years, including Tostitos and Walgreens, and that Kay Jewelers's Mother's Day commercial where she opens up the garage and the kids are singing to her.


This chick is going to be 50 this year. Fifty!!


I only mention this because I'm kinda sad she's relegated to tv spots. She's really a good actress... I remember being 12 or 14 and thinking she was totally hot in movies like "Dead Solid Perfect" (of course, anytime you play the love interest to Randy Quaid, it might not be the best thing for your career) and "Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol", and the Judge Reinhold magnum opus, "Vice Versa". I miss Corinne. She did get some airtime in Veronica Mars, but still, someone hire her!

How do I remember this crap?

Michael Johns
A pianist and guitarist behind him, Aussie Michael takes the stage for a bluesy, soulful Dolly cover of "It's All Wrong".

Ya know... aside from a little screeching here and there, this might be my favorite song of the night. I love the blues, R&B swing on it. Its great to hear him do something well, besides Queen.

Randy thought Aussie Michael brought it. Paula blows sunshine. And I'm not sure what Simon said, because the DVR just ended. The show ran late... I'm going to have to start recording Hell's Kitchen, I guess, to make sure I catch the end of Idol.

And you know, not a single mention of Idol Gives Back, for next week.

For tonight... I gotta give to Michael Johns as my favorite, followed closely by David Rob Thomas Cook, Irish Carly, My Next American Idol Brooke White, Young David, The Dreadlocked One, The Black Julia Stiles, and then together, Ramiele & KLC. Take either one of those two. Please, take them.