Idols In It To Win It!

Just a warning... I have a very liberal amount of italics, statements in bold, lots of ellipses and sometimes all three in one sentence.  Its a grammatical nightmare.  Oh, and this has video on it, so if you reading on the Facebook, shift over to The Mothership and read it on mine own site.  Thanks.

The atmosphere in Hollywood is electric, is crazy, is pumped and geared for the Idols! 

The atmosphere in The Cabana?  Relaxed.  Well-fed.  Simple.  Quiet, except for The Lovely Steph Leann's subtle movements on the couch under her blankie, and the typing of this post.  Oh, and the show itself.  Its Thursday evening, The Lovely Steph Leann is back from a Pensacola trip, and for the first time in a long, long while, we are going to watch the show together, comments and all.

The Top Five await... The Soulful Jacob Lusk... Deep Voiced Scotty... Haley Cuteness... America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina... The Straight Adam Lambert... and Randy the Dawg wonders, "Who is in it to win it?"  Because some of the Idols are here not to win.  Right.

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL

And tonight's mentor!  Sheryl Crow, one of my top five favorite artists of all, all time.  I love, love love Sheryl Crow and am pumped she's on the show tonight... yes, yes, she had the toilet paper remark, but I still love me some Sheryl.  She helped define my college career.

TOP TEN FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONGS...

#10... "The First Cut is the Deepest" from "The Very Best of"

#9... "Strong Enough (live)" with The Dixie Chicks, from "Live from Central Park

Each of the Idols gets two songs, the first being a modern song, and the second being one from "Back in the day" as Seacrusty puts it.

First!  Modern Songs!

The Straight Adam Lambert is up first, singing.. "30 Seconds to... something".  To Mars?  To Morrow?  In it to win it?  Who knows.

Uncle Steven says, "You kicked that song's a**."  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg thought it showed where Blinky James can go as an artist.  The Straight Adam Lambert is in it to win it.  Dawg.

Now, The Soulful Jacob Lusk is ready to sing Idol winner Jordin Sparks song "No Air", a song that I can pretty much tell you that I not only know nothing about, I don't know that I've ever heard the entire thing.  Or part of it.  I do know that Chris Brown sang with Jordin on this--Rhianna says you can't beat that.  Ha!

This performance leads to the following exchange:

Me:  This... this sounds horrible.
Her:  What... what is he doing?  His dancing is... what? (pause).  They did this song on Glee.  I liked it on Glee. 

J-Lo liked it.  Randy the Dawg didn't like The Soulful Jacob Lusk's direction, and didn't like him trying to sing a duet song solo.  Uncle Steven Tyler loves his voice. 

TOP TEN FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONGS
#8... "Can't Cry Anymore" from "Tuesday Night Music Club"


#7... "Picture" with Kid Rock, from "The Very Best of"

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is taking on Carrie Underwood's tune, "Flat on the Floor", from the album "Carnival Ride".   We open the performance with a fiddle, and I like it already.  Then she starts to sing, and I love it.  Rock on.

The awesome Dr. Callie Torres of Seattle Grace Mercy
West Hospital.

The Lovely Steph Leann is giddy because she spots Dr. Callie Torres in the audience.  Seeing that FOX is an Idol show, I'm not sure that Seacrusty is going to introduce Dr. Torres to us.

Randy the Dawg declares America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina to be "in it to win it."  Steven Tyler says, "For 15, the sky is the limit!"  (The Lovely Steph Leann mutters, "She's 16, Steven, she's 16.")  J-Lo loved it.

Now, its time for Deep Voiced Scotty "the Body", and he'll be doing his country roots justice with Montgomery Gentry's "Gone". 

I declared this... were I of 17 or 18 years old, in this competition and singing with Sheryl Crow... I'm asking her out.  No stinkin' joke.  She'd say no, but I would walk out of there knowing I hit on Sheryl Crow, and that's good enough for me.

Once again, Deep Voiced Scotty is doing the country thang, and doing it very, very well.  Creepy Uncle Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg felt as if he were at a Scotty the Body concert.  And.. guess what, Deep Voiced Scotty's "in it to win it!!!"

We are back from break, and I wonder aloud if Haley Cuteness' boobs have their own number.  The Lovely Steph Leann grunts and says, "Yeah, they aren't that big." 

Haley is doing a Gaga song, an unreleased track that she was able to get permission from Lady G herself to sing.  Its "You and I", and Sheryl Crow loves it. 

Haley Cuteness starts on the steps, seated, and singing in her sultry voice.  She looks great, though I figure it wouldn't take much to convince me that she got her sparkly pants out of Pauly Mac's closet. 


What can I say?  I love Haley Reinhart now. 

The Lovely Steph Leann says, "You and I?  Its not really grammatically correct.  Lady Gaga needs to fix that.   I laugh heartily.

J-Lo didn't care for it.  What?  What?!  You dug Blinky James but didn't like Haley Cuteness?  Her issue is the same as Randy the Dawg's issue, which is, Haley shouldn't have done a song that no one knows about.   Uncle Steven says, "you are one perfect song away from being the American Idol... you need to find that song..."

TOP TEN FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONGS
#6... "A Change Would Do You Good" from "Sheryl Crow"


#5... "Anything but Down" from "The Globe Sessions"

Back in the Day Song Time!

The Straight Adam Lambert is tearing up while listening to "Without You" by Nilsson, to the point where he leaves the rehearsal studio sniffling.  Sheryl Crow and Jimmy Iovine both look at each other in bewilderment.  The original is a fantastic song, both by Nilsson and Pre-Skank Mariah Carey... how does Blinky James do?

With tears streaming down his face, you can judge this two ways... first, you can say that it was very heartfelt and honest, which led to his voice being shaky.  Or, second, you can say it just wasn't that great.  I kinda fall in between... it was an emotional song, and I liked it.  Didn't love it, but liked it.

Randy the Dawg agrees with me, and says that "this competition is yours to lose."  Uncle Steven said it was pitchy in a Blinky James sort of way, but still beautiful.  J-Lo loved it.

Seacrusty says, "Up next, The Soulful Jacob Lusk with a Nazareth hit!"  Wait... what?

The Lovely Steph Leann asks who Nazareth is, and I reply, "They do that song 'Love Hurts'... you know... love huuuurrrttss!  Love... something..." cause I couldn't remember the next line.  She says, "Uh, oh yeah... that one... sure."

Okay, so he starts out pretty good, strong, soft, but not too much... yet, he finished with a screech and a wail and too much.  The Lovely Steph Leann agrees.

Uncle Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg says, "that might have been the highest note ever sung on this stage!"  What are they listening to? 

MY 4th FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG

"SOAK UP THE SUN" FROM "C'MON C'MON"

We notice Sir Anthony Hopkins in the audience, and Seacrusty does too as he introduces him, along with Kelly Preston.. and Dr. Torres sits a few seats away, and gets no love.  Because she gets a check from ABC.

America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is doing "Unchained Melody", which prompts The Lovely Steph Leann to say, "Really?  The Righteous Brothers have other songs that are just, if not more, fabulous!!" 

The original kind of bores me, and her version kinda does too.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg loved it.  Steven Tyler loved it. 

Deep Voiced Scotty's second song is "Always on My Mind" by Willie Nelson (though I think he said Elvis... maybe Elvis did this song, but Willie is the only one I know of...)  I grew up on old school country, so this song was a staple around my house.

Anyway, it sounded like Scotty, which meant it sounds country good.  Country strong.  J-Lo loved it.  Randy the Dawg loved it.  Steven Tyler loved it. 

Seacrusty says, "Up next, Haley Cuteness takes on  The Animals!"

Me: I hope she doesn't do "House of the Rising Sun"
Her:  Well, sure... did The Animals do anything else?
Haley Cuteness:  I am doing The Animals' "House of the Rising Sun"

Sheryl Crow suggests Haley start out acapella.  I would say if Sheryl told me I should start out with a banana peel on my head and a booger on my left eyelid, I'd do it, at least when it comes to singing, so naturally Haley Cuteness starts the song sans instruments.

I'm not a fan of this song in its original form, but Haley has seemingly made this song sexy... which she seems to do with anything she sings.  Go Haley.

The Lovely Steph Leann observes that Dr. Callie Torres loved, judging by her woot woot'ness.  Randy the Dawg calls this the song of the night.  Steven Tyler loved it.  J-Lo loved it. 

MY 3rd FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG

"EVERYDAY IS A WINDING ROAD" FROM "SHERYL CROW"

So here is how I rank the songs tonight, for my own personal preference... (1) America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's "Flat on the Floor"...  (2) Haley Cuteness' "You and I"... (3) The Straight Adam Lambert's "Without You"... (4) Deep Voiced Scotty's "Always on My Mind"... (5) Haley Cuteness' "House of the Rising Sun"... (6) The Straight Adam Lambert's "30 Seconds to Mars"... (7) Deep Voiced Scotty's "Gone"... (8) America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina's "Unchained Melody"... (9) The Soulful Jacob Lusk's "Love Hurts"... (10) The Soulful Jacob Lusk's "No Air"

And for me, The Soulful Jacob Lusk needs to go home. 

AND NOW

THIS IS

THE AMERICAN IDOL

RESULTS

I fast forward to the next show and stop when the judges enter the stage... and The Lovely Steph Leann begins to shriek.  What?!  What?? I ask, and she is horrified.  Horrified by Jennifer Lopez's short skirt.  "Make her sit down so I don't have to see that!  But I wonder how much of her butt will be on that chair, because there's no way that skirt is going to cover her butt when she sits down... make her sit down!"

Seacrusty comes out and discusses Steven Tyler's new book, his autobiography, "Do You Hear The Noise In My Head."

Seacrusty:  Tonight!  J-Lo will be doing her latest smash single!
Me: That means you'll get to see that skirt again.
The Lovely Steph Leann:  Uuugghhh....

Group Song... fast forward

Commercial break.. fast forward

Ford Music Video... fast forward

Video with the Idols in Hell's Kitchen.  We actually watch this, even though its shameless self-promotion.  Its amusing.  They all cook omelets for Chef Ramsey's approval... and southern girl America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina gets the only good comment from Ramsey--that's good ol southern cooking at its finest.

And now, here's the new song from their new album... its Lady Antebellum's "Just a Kiss"... and I dare not touch the remote, lest I get divorced like, tomorrow. 

Up now, in another example of making a 10 minute show into an hour... a funny video about the Idol's decisions in fashion and picking songs.

MY 2nd FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG

"STEVE MCQUEEN" FROM "C'MON C'MON"

Now, let's get to the results!  Dim the lights!   The Straight Adam Lambert stands up, and after a review of last night, is sent to the other side of the stage to "start a group".  My prediction is the whole, two Idols on one side, two Idols on the other, and the remaining Idol will have to decide which group to join... they love to do it, and haven't done it so far this season. 

After Jimmy Iovine says, "Based on last night, I think America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina will be in the bottom three", America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is led to stand on the near side of the stage, and The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Aww!  She's about to cry!  Look!  Don't cry!!"

Commercial Break.  Fast Forward

Another Hell's Kitchen/Idol video.  We watch.

J-Lo's performance of her new single.  Fast Forward

Commercial Break.  Fast Forward.

More results!  Dim the lights!  The Soulful Jacob Lusk stands up.  After Jimmy Iovine doesn't give him much hope, he is asked to stand next to America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina, who is probably thinking "Crap!"  And now, Haley Cuteness is up for review.   She is sent over to join The Straight Adam Lambert. 

Finally, Deep Voiced Scotty stands.  Seacrusty says, "You have never been in the Bottom Two... and tonight?  No different... you are safe."   But, Seacrusty tells Deep Voiced Scotty to go stand with who he thinks is in The Bottom Two, and Deep Voiced Scotty says, "Don't do that, man, don't do that to me."  Seacrusty pulls him to The Straight Adam Lambert and Haley Cuteness, and says, "you are all three safe!"

Based on Seacrusty saying, "And you might be surprised at the results" earlier in the show, I say, "I am afraid America's Darlin' Lauren Alaina is going home."   The Lovely Steph Leann says, "NO!  She can't go home!!!"

After 60 billion votes, the person going home tonight is... The Soulful Jacob Lusk.

 I breath a huge sigh of relief... I was actually nervous and my stomach was kinda twisty at the thought he would stay and America's Darlin Lauren Alaina would go home.  Whew. 

MY FAVORITE SHERYL CROW SONG EVER? 

 From the album "The Globe Sessions", its "My Favorite Mistake". 

From Timberlake to Gay Backup Dancers--More Favorite Music Videos

Here's another few vidoes in my effort to give you my favorite 20 videos of the decade... you can find #20, "Fallin' For You" by Colbie Caillat, in this post from a few days ago...

There is a tie for the 19th favorite video of the decade... actually, it's two. It truly speaks to, as a Christ Follower, what we should enjoy and what we should be bothered by. Truly, it all boils down to knowing what I believe, knowing why I believe it, and knowing my weak points. Rap videos are not my weak points, and after seeing them, I'm typically not tempted to go find me a 'ho and smack her up.

That being said, I'm aware that this site is linked on several other websites, including the webpage of my church, Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship). You came here for music and music videos, not for a spiritual lesson (though really, shouldn't our day to day life be one spiritual lesson?)... so with that, I'm only going to tell you that tied for #19 are Ludacris' "Stand Up" and Eminem's "Without Me", two hilarious videos that really have nothing to do with the usually debauchery that you'd find in such artist's videos and lyrics. The former is just about a big party, the latter is... well, kind of narcassistic. But both are excellent, very well done, creative and funny. And if you want to see them, you can go to YouTube. I'm not going to give you the resources to put such filth in front of your faces. Sinner.

Moving on.

At number 18 for the decade, its Part Two of one of the biggest "Screw You!" moves I've ever seen. This is for K-Dub (not directly to K-Dub, but for K-Dub)

Actually, truth be told, in "What Goes Around... / ...Comes Around", Justin Timberlake never expressly said this was directed at Britney, but its always been rumored as being such. I was never a huge fan of this song until I saw the video, which put a whole different perspective on the song.



Yes, that is Scarlett Johansson in the video... and she's actually a singer in her own right. She just released an album of duets with Pete Yorn, and I'm loving one of their latest--you'll hear me talk about it on the year-ending 100 Coolest Things of 2009 coming in January.

This is just the short version... there is actually a 10 minute mini-movie version you can see it by clicking here but I couldn't find the link to post it on Clouds... you can see it by clicking on this link (warning--though not bad, I don't know that I would deem it Emmy Turnbow safe).

At #17, here's one from Brandi Carlile. The song itself actually was actually the 32nd Coolest Thing of 2007, but there's a video that goes with it that I just love. Here's what I said about her then:

Brandi Carlisle, is a up and coming singer songwriter who has the benefit of getting a song on "Grey's Anatomy", which is pretty close to instant success. Actually, she's managed to get three or four songs on the show, but this one is the one I really like, as it was released in video form, containing clips of the show set to the music.



For someone who loves the show, it is great when a video just gets it. Nothing flashy about it, I just really like the way its done. And I've said this before--when I die, I want this song and "What a Wonderful World/Over the Rainbow" by the late Israel Kamakawiwo'ole played, showing video clips from my entire life. Don't have any video clips? Better get some. I'm in my mid-30s by now, you are missing tons of stuff.

And finally, for today, here's #16, which unfortunately I can't show you--something about copyrighted property, and trademarks and me not owning the rights to show it and all that crap...

It's "Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado, and there a few things I love about this video... first, at least for me, its one of the few times I think Nelly Furtado actually comes across as attractive. Never been a huge fan, not really sure I am now, but this song entrances me. Its just... well, its just cool.
Secondly, Timbaland is awesome. I don't know who's idea it was to do close ups of Timbaland saying "Hey" over and over, but it works. Somehow, someway, the only job this guy has is to make goofy faces, whisper in the background "you don't mean nothing at all", scat a little bit and say "Hey" a thousand times. Fantastic. He's the best part of the video.



Finally, see those guys in the background that do that shoulder swivel move, using their legs? It happens around 2:43 in... its like Patrick Swayze doing that side-to-side aisle dance move at the end of "Dirty Dancing", and it looks so incredibly easy... but its impossible to do. Or impossible to do and still look as cool as the ones who are doing it. Perhaps it helps that they look as gay as a four dollar bill--the background dancers, not Patrick Swayze.

The 100 Coolest Things of 2008... 60 thru 51

NOTE: If you are reading this on facebook, click here to see the videos (they will not appear in facebook notes)

Are you new to the blog? Click here to find out what the heck this is all about.

And we'll continue our annual list of the Top 100 Coolest Things of 2008...
The Introduction and Recap
The 100th thru 91st Coolest Things of 2008
The 90th thru 81st Coolest Things of 2008
The 80th thru 71st Coolest Things of 2008
The 70th thru 61st Coolest Things of 2008

WARNING... There are three videos that I would rate as PG-13 on today's blog. You can probably find uncensored versions of them on YouTube, but the ones you'll see here aired on network tv at one time or another--including the "F" word being bleeped about, oh, four dozen times. So, Emmy Turnbow, it might be good to not click on the videos involving Matt Damon & Ben Affleck...

60. Melissa Robillard
She's the WalkAbout mom of the year (last year's honor went to Paula Maddox, one of The Coolest Things of 2007). Anyway, she rocks. I (heart) this chick.

59. "Carrie" by Stephen King
Having been an avid reader of Stephen King since I was in junior high school, I've read just about all of his early works--"Firestarter", "Pet Semetary", "Christine", "Night Shift" and more--but somehow "Carrie" evaded me. Strange, because its one of his thinnest novels, and really, took about two days, mostly because I read 30 minutes here, 20 minutes there and so on.

Carrie is a strange little book. Its almost pieced together like a scrapbook, and were it made into a movie other than the John Travolta/Sissy Spacek classic, it might have been a docu/mockumentary of some sort. Filled with fictional documents, it uses "interviews", "book excerpts", "transcripts" and "newspaper clippings" that give the background of the "tragic events of Chamberlain, Maine", all to tell the story of Carrie White, a lonely 17 year old girl who has special telekentic powers that she is only beginning to understand.

She's tormented by her classmates and even worse, tortured by her crazy mother. Anyway, it progresses on and on, until a prank goes awry and gets carried away at prom, and Carrie decides "enough is enough".

I also said this on November 19th... I dare say despite all of King's bad guys in all of his books, Chris Hargensen may be the most rotten villian overall... she's not possessed, she's not risen from a grave, she's not a zombie... she's just really, really mean.

If you like horror novels, give it a read.

58. Investigation Discovery
The Discovery Channel has lots and lots of offshoot channels on expanded cable, like Discovery Health, Discovery Science, Discovery Kids, Discovery Food, Discovery Global Warming, Discovery Britney Spears and more... but my favorite? Investigation Discovery.

Anyone who has read this blog for very long will know my love for forensic shows and crime documentary stuff... this channel is chock full of them. Twenty four hours a day of shows like "Solved", "Most Evil", "Justice Files", "The New Detectives" and even better, repeats of "48 Hours" (they have relabeled them "48 Hours: Hard Evidence) and of course "Dateline NBC".

The Lovely Steph Leann and I have about 877 channels on DirecTV right now, and a year later, I have yet to learn most of the numbers. I know ESPN is 206. I know USA is 242. I know The Travel Channel is 277. I know the movie channels start with HBO on 501. And I know that Investigation Discovery is on 285. I know this because I watch it often.

57. "The Green Mile" by Stephen King
I know, I know, we've already had a King novel on this same post, and yes, I'll admit, I have read this before (this issue will pop up again later), but here's what I wrote on November 19th:

After I finished "Carrie", for some reason, I immediately went to "The Green Mile". This was a novel that came out in the mid-90s, in a style that was a throwback to the way many books were published... a few chapters at a time.

The first book, "Two Dead Girls", was only about 100 pages and I remember buying it in Troy's Wal-Mart in March of 1996. I was intrigued because it was so small, and figured I could read it pretty quickly--which I did. The next book, "The Mouse on the Mile" came out at the end of April, and so on monthly, until the final volume, Part 6, "Coffey on the Mile" was released in August of 96.

I remember liking the story a whole lot back then, and was excited to pick it up again. And it was amazing. Seriously... I don't remember much of what I re-read, perhaps having seen the movie so many times. By the way, the movie is just incredible too, a Dave100 pick, so I highly recommend it.

But the novel goes into so much more detail, as novels tend to do as they've got a length advantage over movies. You get more backstory, you care more about the characters, and though I still could see Tom Hanks and David Morse in the part of Edgecombe and Brutal, the best... worst... part was Percy Whitmore. He perhaps rivals Chris Hargensen as the meanest King villian, even worse that Wild Bill in the story.

56. Leading FPU Again
I love Financial Peace University. In 2008, The Lovely Steph Leann and I became debt free, and part of it was due to what we had learned from Dave Ramsey's ministry, including what we went through in Financial Peace University, ie, FPU.

Over several years now, we've been able to not only put people through it, but help to lead it in small group settings as well. It seems like each week gets better than the previous, each year gets better than the last. And this year, I was lucky/blessed enough to not only share my testimony, but help guide my friends Croyle & Britlicious. KT and J Rob, Paulie Walnuts & Sammi, but I also got to lead a group that include more friends, including Little Sister Ashley.

The bonus was the new people I met, including sister of Amy Mac, that being Jenn Smith, and her husband Michael. I was able to get Jenn a job later at The Happiest Place in the Mall a few months later, and a friendship was cemented.

Wanna know how the Financial Peace Plan works? Ask. I'd love to see you be debt free too.

55. "Grey's Anatomy"
The Lovely Steph Leann and I have a DVD tradition with a few shows, as in, we don't watch them on network tv, we wait until the season comes in, then watch the whole season over the course of a few weeks, as in the case of CSI... or in a few days, as in the case of "Grey's Anatomy".

Patrick Dempsey, a charter member of The Colin Firth Club, keeps The Lovely Steph Leann paying attention, while I can never decide between Christina, Meredith or Izzie... actually, I don't know who is hotter, or if any one of them are even attractive--its The McGriddle Effect in full effect, really...

The McGriddle Effect garners its name from my first time eating a McDonald's McGriddle breakfast sandwich. Its the weirdest thing, because you can taste the syrup filled pancake that makes the sandwich, and you can taste the sausage, and you can even taste the egg, and seemingly all at the same time. And I can't decide if its absolutely amazingly good... or one of the worst things I've ever eaten. There is no in between. Its not "eh" or "alright" or "so-so"... its either delicious or disgusting, and I am just not sure which one it is.

Such it is with Sandra Oh, Katherine Heigl and Ellen Pompeo. Personally, Kate Walsh, a one time Ashley Judd Club finalist, beats them all, but she was siphoned off to another show, "Private Practice" that I have tried to watch, but just don't care enough about.


Its the ending to Season 4, which we watched in pretty quick time

54. I'm... Matt Damon/I'm... Ben Affleck
So, in 2007, comedianne Sarah Silverman came on the Jimmy Kimmel Live late night show... she and Kimmel were dating at the time (I think they broke up) and she reveals that she... well, she and Matt Damon were together at one time. And another. And another.

Anyway, the language--lots of it--is bleeped out, which is why I'm okay posting it here... and maybe its bad that I think its hysterical (most things are, really), but wow, its hysterical.

So then, Jimmy Kimmel fires back. And he fires back bigtime... with Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle, Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz and an entire group that resembles USA for Africa during "We Are the World"... and Ben Affleck.

wondering where it is? well, when i post a video, i always make sure i check the quality of the clip on the site before i finish... and so i watched both videos, laughed again, and then noticed after the videos, the description of the video was right there, complete with the F-bomb and everything. i just felt funny leaving that there, so i pulled the videos down... however, if you go to YouTube and search "matt damon sarah silverman" and "jimmy kimmel ben affleck", you'll find it. just remember it is NOT SAFE FOR WORK or Emily Turnbow.

53. "Quantum of Solace"
For the record, I've never been a huge James Bond fan. I guess the early movies with Connery and Roger Moore were decent enough, but I thought Timothy Dalton was a terrible choice. Pierce Brosnan was pretty good, I guess, but it took Daniel Craig to actually turn me into a Bond fan.

"Casino Royale" was excellent. And "Quantum" was just as good, possibly better. Lots of action, very little of the silliness that makes Bond movies sometimes, like the goofy gadgets, the improbable cars and such... and perhaps the hottest Bond girl ever, Strawberry Fields.

Earlier today, I was coming downstairs to DVR the Baltimore/Pittsburgh game only to find The Lovely Steph Leann already setting up the DVR to record some show on Ovation called "Lost in Austen". I thought of Austin, TX, at first, though it didn't look right... then it hit me... Jane Austen. She said it looked like a good show. Imagine my surprise tonight when, while retrieving links for this blog post, I found that Strawberry Fields herself was Elisabeth Bennet in two episodes of "Lost In Austen". Perhaps this is a show we'll watch together.

52. "Bedtime Stories"
I was actually looking forward to this flick, and when it was released on Christmas Day, we made it one of our two part movie double feature (the other was Benjamin Button). I knew it would be silly, and I knew with the premise of the movie--Adam Sandler tells bedtime stories, and they come to life--the plot would be silly, borderline stupid.

You know what? I was pretty much right. And it was a great flick anyway. Its a fun film to watch while shoving popcorn in your mouth, slurping down overpriced Coke and munching on Twizzlers, my candy of choice at the movies.

Its clean, too. No bad situations, no bad language, heck, even Felicity manages to look cute, something she has a hard time doing in my opinion.

51. Ambre Lake on Rock of Love 2
So, I'm surfing through MySpace, and I hit upon the page of my friend Wendi Deckermiller, and her blog is discussing Ambre Lake, my friend from college and according to Wendi, new reality star.


I know what you are thinking... and no, I didn't "indirectly" kiss Bret Michaels. Or did I? Ha!

I flip to her website, and yes, its true... Ambre Lake is going to try and win the heart of Bret Michaels from Poison. Watching the episodes, I came away with three things...
1) I am not sure she initially wanted to win. Perhaps that changed later, but I think she just wanted some exposure.
2) She was actually respectable. That's a big difference from all the other girls on the show, who mostly acted like ho'bags and tramp vamps. Even my friends, the ones who knew and the ones who didn't, liked her the best.
3) Define surreal: Watching someone who you danced with to "You Were Meant For Me" at a fraternity formal over 10 years ago appear on a Vh1 reality show she's trying to win the affections of a rock star that was famous 20 years ago. That's surreal.

And she won.

Coming soon... Doctor Earl becomes an Angel, My favorite song of the year, and someone else gets a Pruitt Award.

Hot Chicken Showers (and Golden Globe noms)

New to the blog? Click here to find out what Clouds in My Coffee is all about...

Some signs our world is becoming a very, very strange place....

ANDERSON, Calif. — Three employees of a Kentucky Fried Chicken have been suspended for bathing in a deep sink used to clean dishes. The prank was discovered after one of the young women posted photos on a social networking site of the trio posing and cavorting in the steaming water in their underwear and swimwear.

Click here for photos.

The photos were filed in a gallery called "KFC moments." Captions included "haha KFC showers!" and "haha we turned on the jets." A manager of the fast-food restaurant said the three were reprimanded and suspended Tuesday. She said no manager was on duty when the photos were taken as the three had closed the restaurant for the night.

NEW UPDATE!!! Apparently, those KFC Sink Bathers were fired... also, read the result of the fiasco at Burger King (one of the last lines of the story update) Oh, and try not to lust. Or poke sharp toothpicks between your fingers.

Also--other fun stuff around our great nation...
Georgia School staffers in trouble for gettin' it on at school...
Crap until your kidneys fail... good times!!
Jennifer Aniston looks better than Angie Jolie ever, ever, EVER could...

And now, the Golden Globe nominations...

Best movie, drama
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,”
“Frost/Nixon,”
“The Reader,”
“Revolutionary Road,”
“Slumdog Millionaire,”
“The Visitor.”

Best Movie d$ Hasn't Seen, But Will
"Revolutionary Road"
"Gran Torino"
"Australia"
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

Actress, drama
Anne Hathaway, “Rachel Getting Married”
Angelina Jolie, “Changeling”
Meryl Streep, “Doubt”
Kristin Scott Thomas, “I’ve Loved You So Long”
Kate Winslet, “Revolutionary Road.”

Actor, drama
Leonardo DiCaprio, “Revolutionary Road”
Frank Langella, “Frost/Nixon”
Sean Penn, “Milk”
Brad Pitt, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
Mickey Rourke, “The Wrestler.”

Best movie, comedy or musical
“Burn After Reading,”
“Happy-Go-Lucky,”
“In Bruges,”
“Mamma Mia!,”
“Vicky Christina Barcelona.”

Actress, comedy or musical
Rebecca Hall, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”
Sally Hawkins, “Happy-Go-Lucky”
Frances McDormand, “Burn After Reading”
Meryl Streep, “Mamma Mia!”
Emma Thompson, “Last Chance Harvey.”

Actor, comedy or musical
Javier Bardem, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”
Colin Farrell, “In Bruges”
James Franco, “Pineapple Express”
Brendan Gleeson, “In Bruges”
Dustin Hoffman, “Last Chance Harvey.”

Supporting actress
Amy Adams, “Doubt”
Penelope Cruz, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”
Viola Davis, “Doubt”
Marisa Tomei, “The Wrestler”
Kate Winslet, “The Reader.”

Hottest actress in Hollywood
Ashley Judd, "Ashley Judd"
Debra Messing, "Debra Messing"
Anne Hathaway, "Anne Hathaway"
Amy Adams, "Amy Adams"
Kate Winslet, "Kate Winslet"

Supporting actor
Tom Cruise, “Tropic Thunder”
Robert Downey, Jr., “Tropic Thunder”
Ralph Fiennes, “The Duchess”
Philip Seymour Hoffman, “Doubt”
Heath Ledger, “The Dark Knight.”

Best Movie d$ Has Seen This Year
"Iron Man"
"The Dark Knight"
"Wall*E"
"Role Models"
"Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"

Director
Danny Boyle, “Slumdog Millionaire”
Stephen Daldry, “The Reader”
David Fincher, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
Ron Howard, “Frost/Nixon”
Sam Mendes, “Revolutionary Road.”

Screenplay
Simon Beaufoy, “Slumdog Millionaire”
David Hare, “The Reader”
Peter Morgan, “Frost/Nixon”
Eric Roth, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
John Patrick Shanley, “Doubt.”

Foreign language movie
“Baader Meinhof Complex,”
“Everlasting Moments,”
“Gomorrah,”
“I’ve Loved You So Long,”
“Waltz With Bashir.”

Animated movie
“Bolt,”
“Kung Fu Panda,”
“Wall-E.”

Original score
Alexandre Desplat, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
Clint Eastwood, “Changeling”
James Newton Howard, “Defiance”
Hans Zimmer, “Frost/Nixon”
A.R. Rahman, “Slumdog Millionaire.”

Original song
“Down to Earth” (performed by Peter Gabriel, written by Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman), “Wall-E”
“Gran Torino” (performed by Clint Eastwood), “Gran Torino”
“I Thought I Lost You” (performed Miley Cyrus and John Travolta, written by Miley Cyrus and Jeffrey Steele), “Bolt”
“Once in a Lifetime,” (performed by Beyonce), “Cadillac Records”
“The Wrestler” (performed by Bruce Springsteen, written by Bruce Springsteen), “The Wrestler.”

TV series, drama
“Dexter,”
“House M.D.,”
“In Treatment,”
“Mad Men,”
“True Blood.”

TV actress, drama
Sally Field, “Brothers & Sisters”
Mariska Hargitay, “Law & Order: SVU”
January Jones, “Mad Men”
Anna Paquin, “True Blood”
Kyra Sedgwick, “The Closer.”

Best Wife Ever
Stephanie Dollar, "Wife"
Steph Dollar, "Best Friend"
Steph Campbell Dollar, "The Lovely Steph Leann"
Stephy C. D., "Life partner"
S C Dollar, "Soul Mate"

TV actor, drama
Gabriel Byrne, “In Treatment”
Michael C. Hall, “Dexter”
Jon Hamm, “Mad Men”
Hugh Laurie, “House M.D.”
Jonathan Rhys Meyers, “The Tudors.”

TV series, comedy or musical
“Californication,”
“Entourage,”
“The Office,”
“30 Rock,”
“Weeds.”

Best TV Show of the Year, According to d$
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation"
"Grey's Anatomy"
"Anything on Investigative Discovery"
"The Starter Wife"
"Survivor"

TV actress, comedy or musical
Christina Applegate, “Samantha Who?”
America Ferrera, “Ugly Betty”
Tina Fey, “30 Rock”
Debra Messing, “The Starter Wife”
Mary-Louise Parker, “Weeds.”

TV actor, comedy or drama
Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”
Steve Carell, “The Office”
Kevin Connolly, “Entourage”
David Duchovny, “Californication”
Tony Shalhoub, “Monk.”

TV miniseries or movie
“Cranford,”
“Bernard and Doris,”
“John Adams,”
“A Raisin in the Sun,”
“Recount.”

TV actress, miniseries or movie
Judi Dench, “Cranford”
Laura Linney, “John Adams”
Catherine Keener, “An American Crime”
Shirley MacLaine, “Coco Chanel”
Susan Sarandon, “Bernard and Doris.”

TV actor, miniseries or movie
Ralph Fiennes, “Bernard and Doris”
Paul Giammatti, “John Adams”
Kevin Spacey, “Recount”
Keifer Sutherland, “24: Redemption”
Tom Wilkinson, “Recount."

TV supporting actress
Eileen Atkins, “Cranford”
Laura Dern, “Recount”
Melissa George, “In Treatment”
Rachel Griffiths, “Brothers & Sisters”
Dianne Wiest, “In Treatment."

TV supporting actor
Neil Patrick Harris, “How I Met Your Mother”
Denis Leary, “Recount”
Jeremy Piven, “Entourage”
Blair Underwood, “In Treatment”
Tom Wilkinson, “John Adams.”

Cecil B. DeMille Award
Steven Spielberg

The Story, aka, Woulda Shoulda Coulda

All of these lines across my face... tell you the story of who I am... so many stories of where I've been... and how I got to where I am

At heart, I'm a nostalgic person. Seriously. I hold on to things I should've let go a long time past, if for no other reason than that something might have a story I can tell. This is much to the dismay of The Lovely Steph Leann, mind you.

Probably the focal point of this entire argument is the famed Ren & Stimpy Toilet Paper. For you young folk out there, Ren & Stimpy was a cartoon that would come on Nickelodeon on Saturday nights. My high school Saturdays were spent working at The Wright Place restaurant, waiting tables in Samson, Alabama, pining for Julie Wise, The Official Clouds in My Coffee High School Crush, though really preparing to end up marrying Cristie Wright. Not that I was planning that, but that's what I was supposed to do, according to everyone in the cafe, anyway.

Ren & Stimpy would come on, I would make sure to plan my 20 minute meal break around that time, and watch it on the cafe television. And laugh, really, really hard. I mean, how can you not laugh at a fake commercial for a game called "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence"? Classic.

This love for Ren & Stimpy carried through my freshman year in college, where I became fast friends with Mandy Stewart, Miranda Bryant, Bobby Black, Bradley Grantham and a host of others who somehow impacted my life either in small or large ways.

It was the Christmas of 1993 that Mandy Stewart gave me a roll of Ren & Stimpy Toilet Paper as a gift. It was wonderful. It was hilarious, and I loved my friend Mandy--weirdly enough, she was probably one of the top ten most beautiful girls I'd ever met, yet I never had a thing for her. Personally, I was a Spring Tolson fan myself, but she was unreachable.

Where was I?

But these stories don't mean anything... when you've got no one to tell them to... it's true... I was made for you

Anyway, I haven't talked to Mandy in about... six years? Seven, maybe? Yet, I still have that toilet paper. I mean, you don't want to use it--I'm not sure of the life of the quality in a roll of TP, but I'm sure 15 years is more than can be expected. Why do I still have it? Perhaps I've had it for so long now, its crossed the "But I've Had This for -- Years" threshold... when you have something for soooo long, its just hard to get rid of. I should.

The only sentimental value of it is just a memory of a good friendship that I had for a season of a few years, a friendship that actually had begun to fade away before we even lost contact--you know how that is, you become close to someone, and over time you slowly but surely drift in different directions.

My friendships, solid for a time, with Allyson Guy, Eddie Hamner and Melanie Dill were just like that. Solid for a season, some years, some months and then *poof*. They go from being people you trust will give their life for you--and maybe they still would, who knows--to people that aren't anywhere on your list to call if you had a flat. Not to say they wouldn't help, again who knows, but they wouldn't be on my list.

I climbed across the mountain tops... swam all across the ocean blue... I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules... but baby I broke them all for you...

My whole point is nostalgia. I have a number of items that I haven't rid myself of, perhaps because the only thing they do hold is the opportunity to tell a story. The t-shirt I have that says "I Love NY" on it, signed by the members of the 2002 Mission Trip team from Shades Mountain, including the aforementioned Melanie, is in a box. I talk to the team slim to none, though I've made several Facebook connections, yet the t-shirt affords the chance to tell the story of the puppet show in the park, or how the term "Some Detours Are Worth It" became the mantra for the trip.

What's funny is that, even as I heralded all the memories the t-shirt held, I sat for a second, frozen, thinking of something. Finally, the mantra came out. Perhaps its time for the t-shirt to go.

I have a bad habit of woulda shoulda coulda thinking. Seriously, I need to stop. I have always said there were two things I would go back and do if I could zip back to 1988... the first is invent Build-a-Bear.

Think of this... a store that sells teddy bears, but YOU have to come in and make your own, doing the work, then you pay me for it. That's brilliant.

The other is I'd write Harry Potter. At this point, probably from memory. Oh, don't worry, I would anonymously send JK Rowling a check for a few million, making sure she was okay with life. And I would NEVER, EVER make Dumbledore gay. There's no sense in that. In fact, its just stupid. But I digress.

Oh because even when I was flat broke... you made me feel like a million bucks... you do and I was made for you

But in my woulda shoulda coulda... what if I had lived in a home that wasn't filled with cigarette smoke for my 18 years growing up? Looking back, I'm sure I smelled freakin' awful, especially when I sweat. The Official Clouds in My Coffee High School Crush Julie Wise woulda totally gone out with me, I'm sure. Well, maybe, but I would have had a better chance. Or what if I had actually gone out with Cristie Wright? This wasn't out of the realm of possibility, for a while anyway, so I'm not just grasping at straws here....

In my woulda shoulda coulda world... what if I had never applied for a credit card that freshman fall? What if I just went to school, say two quarters (Troy State was on quarters until the fall after I graduated, then they went to semesters) then worked a quarter? What if I had never gotten two Visas, a Mastercard and a Discover?

In my woulda shoulda coulda world... what if I had paid attention when coming through Elba, instead of running that red light and crashing the Ciera? Or stayed awake when coming home from Enterprise, instead of falling asleep at the wheel and crashing into a telephone pole? Or paid attention when turning left towards The Deuce, instead of just blindly turning in the path of a black Mercedes, driving by Gangsta Pimp? Or stood my ground for the cheaper, more economical Tercel instead of being pushed into the bigger, pricier Sable?

All things I wonder.

In my woulda shoulda coulda world... what if I had studied a little harder, not lost my scholarship because I was lazy for a few months and all that hard earned money had stayed in my pocket and not gone to pay for school? What if I had made it work with Jennifer Mullins? What if I had asked out Elisabeth Bradshaw that night on the golf course? Or what about Melanie Jackson? Julie Echols? Chrissy Bullock? (All married now with kids, or on the way at least). Or Amy Wible? That alone is a story that I could write for days. And did, actually.

In my woulda shoulda coulda world... what if I had actually asked out Mary Ann Crittenden again? (this is only assuming she would have said yes, an assumption I make blindly, unsure of the actual answer at that time, and unsure that I want to know) In this world, I'm not thoroughly convinced that God has One Certain Person for each. Perhaps He, in His wisdom, has a couple, though knowing what He has in store for you, but allowing you the free will to choose what your plan is, versus what His might be? I bring up Mary Ann in this particular line of thought not by coincidence, but in thinking that she might be one of those particular people.

Now, I don't say this out of any dishonor or disrespect for The Lovely Steph Leann... I'm pretty sure she had one or two "What Ifs" in her life, a couple or two of One Certain Persons... heck, she woulda shoulda coulda ended up with Jason Quinn (!) and I have another friend of mine who asked her out, before she and I started dating. She said no, but she might've said yes. But, it makes me think...

In my woulda shoulda coulda world... what if... when The Lovely Steph Leann Campbell had told me in the fall of 2001 that she loved me... what if I had admitted what I knew to be true, yet took me another 9 months to admit... what if I had told her the same. That she was who I was supposed to be with. What if? That's a whole other year we could have added to our story.

Let me wrap this part of the discussion up by saying very plainly and clearly--whether she was My One Certain Person, or the One Certain Person He had for me at The Most Divine Moment, either way, The Lovely Steph Leann and I were meant for each other. Just be around us awhile, you'll probably see that.

One of my favorite things to hear is "I love hanging out with you guys... you guys are so fun together". Not "cute", which I'm sure is nice, but "fun", as in, we are a couple that people enjoy being around as much when we're together as when we're apart. This is a simple compliment, yet its more rare than you might think.

You see the smile that's on my mouth... it's hiding the words that don't come out... and all of my friends who think that I'm blessed... they don't know my head is a mess... no, they don't know who I really am... and they don't know what I've been through like you do... and I was made for you.

I'm wasn't really sure where this blog was going when I started, but I think I know where it will end up. Yes, Clouds in My Coffee Drinkers, you can go crazy thinking about the woulda shoulda coulda in your life... sometimes I think I might. But I lead quite a charmed life. Not a perfect life, mind you, and I probably under-serve my Best Friend and Helpmate in every way possibly, be it conscience or un-, and the fact that I have a personality on Clouds in My Coffee named The Goddess can attest to that... but The Lovely Steph Leann is the blessing that I cannot fathom, if that makes any sense.

This song I've quoted, "The Story" by Brandi Carlile, is amazing. It just is. It actually finished as the #32 Coolest Thing about 2007. I first heard it when I watched Grey's Anatomy's earlier seasons, and it just hits me in one of those funny ways. It has a double digit play on Dave's iPod (though that doesn't mean much nowadays... sometimes I get on "song kicks" where I just want to hear the same song over and over, be it old or new... right now, my Song Kick includes "No Time to Kill" and "Good Run of Bad Luck" by Clint Black, "If I Ever Lose My Faith In You" by Sting and "I Guess the Lord Must Be In New York City" by Nilsson, among others. Who knew?) already, and it doesn't make me sad... or happy... just nostalgic.

All of these lines across my face... tell you the story of who I am... so many stories of where I've been... and how I got to where I am

Bottom line is, I'm a nostalgic person. I've stated this already. I enjoy thinking back to college and even high school, the memories I've had, the things I've done. Perhaps I'll take a cue from McQ, a certain Dave Hall of Famer when she comes on the ballot, and just take the plunge. I've got lots of stories of where I've been... but, as Brandi Carlile says...

But these stories don't mean anything when you've got no one to tell them to... It's true... I was made for you... Ohh yea it's true... That I was made for you


This is the video that accompanied Grey's Anatomy. Might I say this might be the exact, perfect song to go with this video. As a matter of fact, I'm commissioning Scotty Latta to work on this project when I die...

I want this video played at my funeral, but take out all the Grey's Anatomy clips, and replace them with video clips of my own life... let's get Chris McCall and I jumping off the bridge at Ponce de Leon Springs from my childhood, and waiting tables with Victor, Cristie and Sandy at The Wright Place, and an over dramatic shot of my running across campus at Troy State late for class, and for good measure, throw in a shot or two of Tiffany Abbott (The Official Clouds in My Coffee Troy State Crush) rejecting me, perhaps get my first slow dance with Angiejay... wait, scratch that... or maybe Eddie and I dressing up as clowns at that mission retreat, or me directing WalkAbout, and a great video clip of me standing with Best Man Wookiee at my wedding, and I as Best Man at his wedding, and you gotta toss in some Deuce, and Lil Sister Ashley, and KT, and maybe me arguing with Clouds in My Coffee Atty General Brad Latta over politics (we really didn't, but it would look good for the video) and... well, just be creative.

One final thought. This is one of those songs, like many others, you can play at the perfect time. Perhaps when there's a break-up and a get-back-together. But you can play this at the wrong time... like a few weeks ago, when I watched Penn State beat Ohio State. They did a Joe Paterno montage, and played this song behind it. Creepy. Very creepy.