Kip Comes to Jacksonville's Idol

Welcome to another late night of American Idol... I is your host, d$, here at The Clouds in My Coffee Blog, ready to give you the running tally of winners, losers and those off to Hollywood. Tonight, we broadcast from Jacksonville, Florida... do you know that per area, Jacksonville is the largest city in America? From what I've heard, its also one of the most boring, but I've never been there (seen it as I drove around it on the interstate). Anyway...

THIS IS.

AMERICAN.

IDOL.

We see a flashback to the band Journey, showing Randy Jackson onstage... Paula Maddox would be proud, Steve Perry lover that she might be. Or is. Of course, the Journey song they choose to play over the video is "Don't Stop Believin'". My personal favorite? "Separate Ways". "Some day love will find you, break those chains that bind you, one night will..."

Wait, we're starting!

Here's a guy, up first, who is proud of being compared to Justin Giarini. Guarini. Whatever, who cares. He's going to take on Marvin Gaye, "Let's Get It On". Joshua is the guys name, but it doesn't matter what his last name is, cause he sucks. Entirely.

Got a note from Mindy D'A who told me that some guy on this show reminds her of Kip from "Napoleon Dynamite", so I'm looking forward to that!

And... he gets a yes. What? What? He will be that guy that screws up the trio performance and blows it for two other people.

Sharon Wilber brought her Shi'Tzu dog, Sasha. Sharon is a looker... she passes off the dog to Simon, and will sing "Superstar" by The Carpenters. If The Lovely Steph Leann were here, she'd be on alert, as The Carpenters might fall into her Top Ten Of Freakin' Everything, if she had such a list.

She sounded a little like Britney Spears on that audition, Simon and Randy say yes, Paula and Kara mock kiss each other, Kara pulls up her probably-too-low-but-not-really-for-me-okay-yes-too-low dress, and Sharon goes through. Welcome to American Idol, Season VIII.

We go off to break, and we come back from break... Ryan Seacrest is touring Amelia Island, just outside of Jacksonville, in a golf cart, he says, "While I'm fighting gnats, Dana Moreno is fighting a losing battle with Chaka Khan."

Oh, how right Seacrest is... this chick just hit some notes that actually cause some of the paint in the living room of The Cabana to peel back. How will I explain this to The Lovely Steph Leann? Wow. Simon gives her some direction... out of the room.

Anita Baker's "Rapture", a tall order for 16 year old Kaneswa Finnie, but she's full of confidence. And from the first "bum bum", you know... its terrible. Idol was actually building her up to be pretty good... and wow. I almost grabbed the blanket and held it over my own face, in The Lovely Steph Leann's honor. That was simply terrible.

Simon calls Kaneswa's mom in, and drills her about how bad her singing is. Simon is wrong, of course. Mom says, "She's my American Idol!" And she can have her.

Julissa is Miss Florida Latina USA. I wonder if they have Latina USA contests in like, say, North Dakota, or Idaho? If I'm a 19 year old Latina hottie with aspirations of being in Miss Latina USA, I'm totally going to Montana, where there can't be that many (legal) Mexican hot chicks. The competition is probably a lot less fierce than, say, Texas or California. And yes, I just typed "If I'm a 19 year old Latina hottie..."

Anyway... Julissa is taking on Whitney's "I Have Nothing", one of those that you should never, ever, ever, never sing. And she doesn't do too bad... but her laughter? Awful. She has this gawd-awful heh-heh-heh going on. Paula gets offended at Simon and Randy, Paula walks out, Kara looks on in confusion, she comes back, Julissa reappears, Randy says yes, Paula says yes, Kara says yes, Simon reluctantly says yes. And everything that I typed just now was happening right as I was typing it. My fingers are out of breath.

Darin Darnell, a perfectly goofy stage name, is all about dancing, meeting people, bouncing around the room and is being built up to be...well as this show is progressing, who knows. When Darren's friend gets cut, he suddenly is unsure of everything. Confidence is gone.

Boyz II Men's "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye" is his song... aw, its my class song. A song about death. Darin just took a song about death, and killed it. Is that even possible? If Nate, Mike, Shawn and Wanya (the members of Boyz II Men, to those of you under 25... you know, ABC, BBD, the East Coast Family... three points to whoever can tell me ABC and BBD stand for!)

Oh, they cut Darin.

Here's the montage of tears. Naomi Sykes is the final contestant of Day One. I like that name, Naomi. What about Naomi Dollar as a 2nd daughter's name? Naomi goes on and on about her best friend who wants to meet Randy, the friend comes in, and she ends up sitting on Randy's lap. Naomi is going to sing "Loving You" by Minnie Riperton, known for a high note that has, at last count, killed 32 dogs over the decades.

Seacrest is in Kara's lap, Paula is in Simon's lap and Naomi just kicked Minnie Riperton in the face. Seriously. Naomi says the immortal line, "Everyone tells me I'm great." When Simon says, "Are you serious?", she cries. She then laments, outside, that she doesn't know what she did wrong. How about muck up a song that was already bad enough?

Nine people get golden tickets on Day One.

We move to the next day, and 16 year old Jasmine comes in. She hails from Starkville, Mississippi, and is going to take on "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie. Rock it baby, rock it... she did really great! Does it tell my age that when she said she was singing "Big Girls Don't Cry", I automatically thought of Frankie Valli's version in "Dirty Dancing"? Oh, Jasmine gets through.

George Ramirez is an FSU student who is studying physics. He must be smart to study physics, but he goes to Florida State, so he can't be that smart... ha! Jokes!

This might be the guy who Mindy D'A has compared to Kip. And she's totally right. He really should be singing "Yeees, I love technology... but not as much as you, you see..." George admits he has never sung in public, just around his friends. That was a strange, strange audition.

Anne Marie Boskovich flatters Kara by telling her how much she loved her singing. She sings a little bit, and they tell her to come back later and be "another person", or to be herself. They don't feel like she's a superstar just yet.

TK is back from last year's audition, ready to try again. "Imagine" is a hard to sing, but TK pulls it off. And he's putting his own spin on it, which is always good (see: Cook, David) and doing quite well with it. They tell him he was a little over the top, but they send him through by a 3 to 1 margin, with Simon dissenting.

There's a great montage of various family members, telling the cameras how great their own kids are. Michael Perrelli has a backstory, something we didn't have much of tonight! He learns that he can't play his guitar in the audition, and starts crying. Literally starts crying.

"Jumper" by Third Eye Blind is his song of choice. He doesn't do a terrible job, but not great. Simon says that Michael would struggle in the competition, and Kara nails it--she knows he needs the guitar.

Simon tries to tell him to start a band, be better, and when he starts crying, Simon says, "You're getting on my nerves". Tough times! And outside, he's still crying. Holy crap. Have a spine, suck it up.

Anne Marie comes back, has better hair, a new outfit, found a makeup artist. "Bubbly" is her song, and she does great with it. Randy says yes. Kara says yes, Paula says yes, Simon sends her to Hollywood.

Sixteen tickets came out of the Jacksonville auditions, meaning only 7 made it on Day Two. Wow, harsh judges!

Montage of everyone, good and bad, trying to sing "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina & the Waves. Even Kip, er, George, sings a little bit.

What's amazing to me is how there is an entire stadium of people try out, and SEVEN make it.

Tomorrow night, I think it might be the last of the audition episodes, this time from Mormontown USA, that being Salt Lake City! Make sure you read the blog to see who makes it, who doesn't, and if Simon or Randy pick up a few wives each!

It's the 66th Annual Golden Globes! (live blogging diary)

And... that's all she wrote. The big news is Kate Winslet wins 2 awards in the same night--The Lovely Steph Leann, Mikey (via text) and myself are not even sure that the same person has ever won Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress in the same night... and the other news is "Slumdog Millionaire". Have you seen it? Let me know how it is...

Good night... more of the 100 Coolest of 2008 to come tomorrow, plus the next running diary will be on Super Bowl Sunday, broadcasting live from The Nipps home!

1000p... "Benjamin Button", "The Reader", "Revolutionary Road" and "Frost/Nixon" are all losers to... "Slumdog Millionaire".

I'll wait until I see it before I make any opinions on it (though I've heard its fantastic, much in the way "Little Miss Sunshine" was a few years back)

958p... Tom Cruise, star of "Der Mavericke", is out to present the winner of Best Picture. My guess is going to be "Slumdog", which is the new love of the HFPA... and possibly the Academy.

952p... I haven't seen this film, but I've heard about it, and I've heard that while the movie is just "pretty good", that Mickey Rourke is remarkable. And hence, he's got the Golden Globe. And Marisa Tomei in the movie is not a bad option either.

950p... Hollywood Liberal Extraordinaire is here for the Best Actor in a Drama Movie. The winner? Mickey Rourke? Really? Wow... Harley Davidson gets the award! (I can only hope that The Marlboro Man will get his due too--thats for you, Mikey)

Mickey, old, saddled with drugs and old age and a lifetime of partying hard, stumbles as he gets to the stage. If, after winning this award, we were to find Mickey Rourke dead in his hotel room tomorrow, I would not be shocked.

945p... I've decided, I'm totally watching this show now. By the way, The Lovely Steph Leann, that is January Jones you spoke of. And yes, she's quite attractive. Not like you, but she's okay, I guess.

943p... Blake Lively from "Gossip Girl" and Rainn Wilson from "The Office" are here to present Best Drama. Rainn says, "Hello. We're just TV actors. Let's hear it for the tv actors!" Blake says, "We are here to present the award for Best Drama", then they both are silent. Blake pops up and says, "Oh, wait, we're supposed to read it!" They shoot through the nominees, and the winner is "Mad Men"

The Lovely Steph Leann: I don't know who that chick is in the blue but she's beautiful. (reflects for a minute) Okay, well, I don't really like the dress, but I love the color.

940p... My favorite actress with my favorite speech of the night. She says, "I just saw the sign that says 'please wrap up'. You have no idea how much I'm not wrapping up..."

I can only hope this translates into her winning an Oscar, because she deserves it... of course, perhaps like tonight, she might be given an Oscar for "Hey, give her one, she has earned it!" rather than a particular performance in "Revolutionary Road", kind of like Denzel in "Training Day" and Tommy Lee Jones in "The Fugitive."


My favorite actress, Ashley Judd Club Member and now, 2 Time Golden Globe Winner Kate Winslet.

938p... Mark Wahlberg and Cameron Diaz come out to announce the aformentioned Anne Hathaway, and the not so pretty Angie Jolie for Best Actress. Kate? Maybe? Kate?

KATE WINSLET!!!! KATE WINSLET WINS HER 2ND AWARD TONIGHT!!!

The Lovely Steph Leann (gasping): Ohmigah... they gave her two!
Me: WOO - HOO!!!!

936p... So, two actors that are Indian/Asian (I won't even pretend to try their names) comes out to introduce "Slumdog Millionaire". This might just win Best Picture tonight, and if so, it will be the front runner at the Oscars.

932p... Didja hear about Anne Hathaway? She is up for Best Actress in "Rachel Gets Married", and a star appeared by her name on the Hollywood Foriegn Press website, indicating she had won... a few days ago. Here's the scoop.

930p... "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" wins for Best Comedy. Okay, so at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), we discussed racism. I hope its not going to make our pastor angry to say that I will probably never see this film, nor do I even want to. Doesn't help that I can't stand Woody Allen.

928p... Sasha Baron Cohen, the man who is Borat, comes out and says, among other digs at celebrities, "The recession is hitting everyone... Madonna has had to get rid of one of her personal assistants. Our thoughts go out to you, Guy Ritchie." The crowd claps and gives a "oooohhh"

926pm... Count me as in the minority of guys who don't find Salma Hayek attractive at all. Nor do I think Penelope Cruz, Angelina Jolie and Catherine Zeta-Jones is anything special. Just sayin'.

921pm... Sandra Bullock comes out... where has she been? She was the hottest chick of the 90s, and suddenly, she's nowhere to be seen. Oh, don't say "The Lake House", that didn't count. Anyway, she's cracking a few jokes here and there, kind of reminding me of Annie is "Speed". The award for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical is Colin Farrell for "In Bruges".

919pm... Ripley herself, Sigorney Weaver comes out to introduce "Revolutionary Road", a film that was getting major buzz early, but has faded a bit because of mixed reactions from critics. It seems "The Reader" is the Kate Winslet film that the voters are loving.

913pm... Emma Thompson, one of my all time favorite actresses, and Dustin Hoffman are presenting the Best Director award. "Slumdog Millionaire" is a favorite, though I'm pushing for "Ben Button's" David Fincher. The award goes to... Danny Boyle.

This is huge. Very, very big. This pretty much guarantees some major Oscar love when nominees are announced in a few weeks. And if it wins best picture (and it might), it might become a front runner over "Frost/Nixon" and "Benjamin Button" to win Best Picture.

904pm... I actually watched "*batteries not included" not too long ago. Spielberg was an executive producer on that one, one of his rare bombs at the box office. It wasn't as bad as I remember it. Oh, don't get me wrong, it was bad. But it was watchable. It was written by Brad Bird, though, future director of "Ratatouille" and "The Incredibles", among other films.

856p... Its time for the Cecille B. DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement... and this time, its Steven Spielberg. And this is big deal for me, because rather than having older actors or directors that I only know of in older films, Spielberg is a guy I grew up watching, or at least watching his movies...

"Jaws"... "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"... "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial"... "Jurassic Park"... "Schindler's List"... "Saving Private Ryan"... "Minority Report"... "Raiders of the Lost Ark"... "The Terminal"... "Catch Me If You Can"... not only did I see every one of these films, save for "Jaws", at the movie theater, four of them appear on The Dave100... that's how great this guy is.

Here's a hidden gem... "Duel", one of his first films, is amazing. Its from 1971, and its the simple story of a lonely traveler being terrorized by a guy in a semi-truck. Find it on Netflix, or go rent it, or find it on DVR and set to record. Its fantastic.

For the record... "Saving Private Ryan" should have FAR AND AWAY won the Best Picture Oscar in 1998 (?), which went to "Shakespeare In Love." That was a good film, but "Ryan" was unbelievable. Not just a movie, but an experience. Anytime a movie transcends from "entertainment" to "experience", its deserving of recognition.

847p... Best Actress in a Comedy, its Christina vs Tina vs America vs Debra vs Mary Louise (go Debra!!) and the Globe goes to Tina Fey. "30 Rock" is the critic darling right now, much like "The Office" has been in years past. Now that is a low cut dress.


I keep expecting her to go "you say... I only hear what I want to... you say... I talk so all the time... so..."

Tina: "I've collected all the Hollywood Foriegn Press action figures!" Then, she adds, "If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, there's this thing called The Internet, to which I'll call them out right now... DianeFan, you can suck it. CougarGal, you can really suck it. You've been after me all year." Speech of the night thus far.

844p... Diddy Combs are giving away best score. Is that ironic? And the Golden Globe goes to... "Slumdog Millionaire".

842p... Ah, its Pierce Brosnan... and he's introducing on of the biggest disappoinments for me in all of 2008. The musical is magnificent, seen it 4 times and will see it everytime I can, but the movie, "Mamma Mia!" is sorely lacking. And Pierce tries to sing... wow. Just... wow. Not a good wow. A bad wow. And I think it was worse because I was soooo looking forward to it.

833p... Glenn Close from "Damages" and Morpheus are giving out the award for Best TV Series. More than likely, this is a battle between "The Office" and "30 Rock", though "Weeds" might sneak in there. And the winner is... "30 Rock".

Tracy Morgan says, "I'd like to thank the Hollywood Foriegn Press, cause a black man can't get no love from The Emmys!" and he rambles on for a while, until Alec Baldwin leans in and whispers something, which makes Tracy shout, "Oh yeah, Jeff Zucker, the producer"

830p... Megan "Is A" Fox and Terence Howard are handing out the award for Best Actor in a Mini-Series and/or TV Movie. Another "John Adams" win, I'm guessing... which is deserved. Paul Giamatti is another That Guy who is really emerging to be a great actor in his own right...

Paul Giamatti says, "This was a helluva job, a helluva job. You know, this little costume drama we put on over at HBO..." which warranted a laugh from myself and The Lovely Steph Leann.

Well deserved.

828p... Renee Zellweger is wearing... something. The Lovely Steph Leann is in the kitchen at this very moment, and I'm trying to get her in here to get a reaction. Yikes.

822p... Colin Firth Club member Patrick Dempsey, and Amy Poehler are up to give Alec Baldwin Best Actor in a Comedy for "30 Rock", a show that will be on my Netflix queue soon.

820p... Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks, stars of "Zack & Miri Make a Porno"! Of course, the announcers didn't say that, they just said, "Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks!"

Seth Rogan says, "I wish I was around to present the Golden Globes in the 80s. Instead of getting drunk with Mickey Rourke, I could be doing cocaine with Mickey Rourke." Funny joke, but even funnier is the fact they didn't cut to Mickey Rourke.

Best Screenplay goes to "Slumdog Millionaire", a film that is getting hot and steamrolling to the Oscars. Of course, this might be the one award it gets, as a "you deserve something, so here" token.

818p... So, "In Bruges" is apparently this much acclaimed film. Know very little about it. Anyone?

810p... Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal, who I had a brief crush/fling with not too long ago, are giving out Best Supporting Actress. Laura Linney is nominated... I do love me some Laura Linney. And... Laura Linney in "John Adams". Of course it does... I do have a feeling this is going to pick up quite a few tonight, just like it did with the Emmys.


Laura Linney, new Golden Globe winner. Oh, she was in "The Truman Show". That's how you know her.

807p... Colin Farrell attempts a joke, which falls flat. Best foriegn film... which means my attention is fading. "Waltz with Bashir" is the winner, and I called it. The Lovely Steph Leann and I both figure it will pick up the Oscar.

On another note... Colin sniffled as he was about to read. He said, "Sorry, got a cold. Its not the kind of cold it used to be." Then he smirked.

The Lovely Steph Leann looked up from under her blanket. "I think he just made a cocaine reference."

Also... Israel won this award. Won't most of the liberal celebrities want to hold him down and let some Palistine beat the crap out of him? Cause libs don't like Israel. Just sayin'.

803p... Is it bad that I want to see "The Celebrity Apprentice 2: Celebrity Apprenticier"? Surely J Rob would join me in this venture.

758p... After giving a little motherly advice to daughter Rumer, who is Miss Golden Globe and is helping onstage, Demi Moore is giving out Best Supporting Actor in a Movie. This is the one Heath Ledger is nominated for--and I kinda knew that this was a foregone conclusion. The entire audience gives a standing ovation. But... the award is deserved. Heath was BRILLIANT in "The Dark Knight".



756p... "John Adams" wins.

753p... This is the part of the show where Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore present "John Adams" with Best Mini Series or TV Movie. "Raisin in the Sun" was nominated, but it's got Sean "Puffy" Combs in it. Or P. Diddy. Or Pididdle. Or Diddy Kong, or whatever he is this week. So it can't win. Wait... wait... "Recount" is nominated. Crap... this might be a contest...

752p... The fact that Cate Blanchett didn't get nominated for Best Actress in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" is a travesty. She's just simply amazing in that flick.

750p... Is it bad that I kinda want to see "Confessions of a Shopaholic"?

742p... Johnny Depp appears onscreen, looking flaky as ever. He's giving away Best Actress in a Comedy, and really, he is three gold teeth and some dreads away from being Jack Sparrow--he sounds just like him right now. Seriously, Johnny Depp is flaky. So, Sally Hawkins wins for "Happy Go Lucky". I've never even heard of this flick...

739p... The Jonas Brothers are here to give the award for Outstanding Animated Film to "Wall*E". I think out of courtesy they are announcing that "Kung Fu Panda" and "Bolt" were also nominated, but seriously... we know. The Lovely Steph Leann giggles like a little girl when "Wall*E" is formally awarded.

737p... Ricky Gervais is hilarious, lamenting about how he wasn't nominated and how he will not, in the future, get it on with 200 foriegn journalists. He actually is drinking his beer onstage, which is just as funny. He looks at Kate Winslet and says, "I told you, Winslet! Do a Holocaust movie, win an award!"


Mikey just texted me his support for Rogue... er, Anna Paquin. I can concur. Even with that gap in her teeth.

730p... Zack Quintos and the other guy in the new Trek film are doing the Best Actress in TV Drama. Winner? Two shockers in a row... Gabriel Byrne won for "In Treatment" and Anna Paquin won for "True Blood". Didn't see either one of those coming--I thought "Mad Men" would get something, either Jon Hamm or January Jones. I can't complain about Anna Paquin though... she's Rogue. Rock on.

728p... Hayden Panattiere and Zac Efron are giving away Best Actor in a Series. I've never seen "Mad Men", but I'm hearing tons about it. I am wary about jumping into shows anymore, because they get canceled so quickly--Netflix just sent me "Pushing Daisies", and despite my crush on Kristen Chenoweth, I refuse to watch it. Its canceled. I might watch "Mad Men", though.

726p... If I'm Don Cheadle, a prominent actor, rising from That Guy Status to be nominated for numerous awards himself, when I enter, I don't want to be known as "The star of the new motion picture 'Hotel for Dogs'!"

718p... Best Supporting Actress for all those things below. Laura Dern wins for "Recount", and HBO movie from last year. It was chided by some conservatives, Rush & Hannity included, for being biased, but really, I liked it. It didn't put Dubya in a bad light, rather it showed how incompetant John Kerry (who served in Vietnam) and his campaign actually was. Anyway, I liked it.

The Lovely Steph Leann weighs in on this subject. "Laura Dern does not need to be wearing black."

Laura Dern then goes slightly political, raising the applause of the crowd.

717p... Tom Wilkenson sounds loaded. I told you, open bar.

715p... The next award is for Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Mini Series, Movie, Telemovie, Telenovella, Hardback Adaptation, Cable Show, Local Stage Play and Lifetime Holiday Classic. Tom Wilkenson wins for "John Adams", a mini-series I have yet to see, but will probably take all kinds of awards tonight.

713p... Is it bad that I want to see "He's Just Not That Into You", the new ensemble comedy?

710p... The Lovely Steph Leann: "Hey... he walked the wrong way! Bruce Springsteen walked the wrong way off stage." Me: "He's Bruce. He can do whatever he wants and he dares anyone to tell him different."

708p... The winner is Bruce Springsteen, for a song from "The Wrestler". Honestly, as soon as they announced his name during the nomination annoucements, I knew that Springsteen had won. He's like U2. He could sing the phone book (and like U2, some of his most recent stuff has been about as good) and win acclaim and honor. I think he's overrated. That's right. I said it.

706p... Best Original Song award given by Sting, who's sporting a "Football player in Boston" beard. Peter Gabriel is nominated for "Wall*E", and they pan to him, and he has a "tell me if I won or lost so I can get another drink and effin' leave". Miley Cyrus & John Travolta have also been nominated for their duet on "Bolt", though I just can't root for Miley Cyrus to win a Golden Globe. Something about that just doesn't seem right.

703p... My Dear Kate has been nominated like a bajillion times for awards, including Oscars and Golden Globes, and for whatever reason, she rarely wins the big ones. In fact, she just said, "You'll have to forgive me for stuttering, I'm not used to winning." She's a phenomenal actress, and she's definately an Ashley Judd Club member in good standing. Yay KATE!! She looks fabulous, as always (Even The Lovely Steph Leann agrees).

701p... The Best Movie Supporting Actress award is up. Jennifer Lopez is presenting (The Lovely Steph Leann: "Look at her dress! She's had babies! You don't show that much skin when you've had babies!") I personally am torn, cause I love Amy Adams and Marisa Tomei, but I loooove Kate Winslet... and the winner is... KATE WINSLET, for "The Reader"!!!!

700p... It's the Golden Globe Awards, who's winners are determined by a group called The Hollywood Foreign Press. They give out awards on movies and television shows, and of course, lots and lots of celebrities... oh, and there's an open bar available. No, I'm not kidding at all.

659p... What in the crap is Tiki Barber doing on the red carpet?

654p... Lisa Rinna is talking to Debra Messing. I say, "Oh, I love Debra Messing. Totally Ashley Judd Club." The Lovely Steph Leann responds, "Look at her frizz! I don't love Debra Messing, at least right now."



652p... The Lovely Steph Leann on various celebrities:
Drew Barrymore: "Her dress looks amazing, but her hair is like a planet..."
The Jonas Brothers: "So, Joe Jonas, the main 'hot' one, has terrible hair. Like, the other ones, Kevin and whatshisname? Rockin', awesome hair. Joe? Terrible."
Pierce Brosnan: "Holy crap. Look how big his wife has gotten!!"
Tom Cruise: "Sigh. I like old school Tom Cruise and... wait... is he wearing a Navy blue suit??"

650p... Just got back in. Now, I'm here, at the laptop, currently I and The Lovely Steph Leann are watching Joey Fatone (the cool N*Sync'er) on the TVGuide Red Carpet Show. Had to go get dinner (having Long John Silver's, thank you).

518p... The Golden Globes, the ugly stepsister of Oscar's Academy Awards, is on tonight... and it is time for a running diary. That basically means that every few minutes, I'll be giving my thoughts on the celebrities, the show, the entertainment and of course, the winners. Full of pop culture random trivia, I'll be able to give you little facts here and there, random links and such, and hopefully you'll keep checking back.

For Amarylis' sake, I'll even disable the "auto-play" on the playlist, so you don't have to keep cutting it off over and over! Stay tuned!

She Might Be a Prostitute... and other ramblings tonight

I'm walking. I'm walking down a covered path, not covered by any manmade roof, but by a thatch of branches, shadowing the path from trees to the left and right. There's a small hut up the way a little. Men and woman are walking past me, behind me, in front of me. As I approach the hut, I see a table, a long legged, small surface table. It stands tall, at the back of the small hut. I can see plainly the book, as the day is warm and sunny, the light creeping through the branches of the trees into the open walls of the hut.

There's a book on the table. Its made of leather and parchment... its obvious its been man-made, but it has been beautifully crafted. As I open it, it strikes me as odd... this is a book... a book of... prostitutes? There are names of women of the night in this book. Many, many names. I recognize one of them. I know her! I know who that is! But certainly, she's not a prostitute? I mean, I would have heard of this... I would know this, right?

This can't be. This mustn't be. Not her. No. NO! I throw the book down, and race back down the path... I've got to find her... I've got to ask her... I've got to know, "Are you a woman of ill repute???" I've got to discover, "Are you a lady of the night???" I've got to find out, "Are you in the oldest profession???" And I've got to know why, according to the book, her prices are so cheap!

There she is... I'm going to ask her. But I see light. Bright light.

For some strange reason, The Lovely Steph Leann has turned the light on. Please understand, I'm exhausted, getting only a few hours sleep the night before... and I have to open at Starbucks the next morning. I've gone to bed at 10:30, intending on at least 6 hours of solid sleep... but the lamp wakes me up. I lift my head to look at my lovely wife, who, mind you, has come to bed maybe an hour after me... she looks at me and screams. Now I'm really awake. Completely awake.

"What the heck?" I ask. "What's wrong?"
"Uh... you scared me..." she says in a stupor
"Scared you? What? I've been in bed for two hours now... you came after me... how did I scare you?"
"You just... you just did... I dunno..." The Lovely Steph Leann struggles with comprehension for a minute, then turns the light back off.

You know how, when you're really tired, and you end up sleeping for only 2 hours, and you wake up still exhausted? Like, your eyes hurt, your arms are sore, you just feel like dying kind of exhausted. This was me after The Lovely Steph Leann turned on the light, screamed, stared at me, then turned the light off, and was asleep within five minutes. Not good times. Bad times, bad times.

And I don't know if she was a prostitute!!!

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We were a part of the job fair at UAB, recruiting for The Happiest Place in the Mall. Dan, the Other Happiest Assistant Manager at The Happiest Place in the Mall, and Yours Truly set up a table, tablecloth, a few Mickey & Minnie items, and some applications. And we waited.

I had observed some of the other tables around the perimeter... there were about 34 or 35 other businesses that were also hitting the freshman and upper class pool of people, which is ingenius, because they are all in college and broke.

The McWane Center was a hit. They had the table in front of the door, so as you walk in, you see them, and many people went straight there. We were diagonal from McWane, so you passed by The Happiest Table in the Job Fair on your right as you came in the room. Across from us was Alabama Telco Credit Union, which, though they were nice, I gotta say wasn't the most entertaining, fun idea for a part time job.

Don't get me wrong, I think you do what you gotta do when the time arrives, but if I walk into the job fair such as these kids did, I'm looking at McWane, or The Learning Express (complete with their lot of fun toys on the table) or Ross Bridges Golf Course or something like that. The Credit Union, be it Alabama Telco or Legacy, cause they were both there, wouldnt be my first choice. And who wants to work at freakin' Newk's Express Cafe? Or Panera Bread? Or a dental office?

Victoria's Secret was there, and I'll be honest with you... if I ever walk into that store again, and they've hired some of the people that I saw apply, trust me, I will not want to think about women's underwear. Not in the slightest.

International students can't work off campus, so half of our morning was spent telling Habeeb and Ismish and Rjnrnwvn that we were located at the Galleria Mall, about 10 miles from campus. I'm not sure some countries actually know about vowels.

The result is that I've got 9 interviews on Monday set up. I expect a few of them to not show up, there are one or two that I'm hoping will work out cause they were awesome, and there's some that I could go either way on.

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I did my first interviews for The Happiest Place in the Mall last week, and really, sometimes its just funny. One girl was so quiet, I had to lean forward to hear anything she had to say... "So what are your favorite Disney characters?"

"Oh, I likes Mickey. He's so fun..."
"What about your favorite Disney movies?"
(thinking, and it looks as if it takes effort) "I like Winnies the Pooh"
I then ask, "Tell me about your shopping habits. What do you look for in a store?" (now, I know she might not understand this question, so I clarify) "I mean, not really what you are shopping for, but what makes a store or shop stand out to you?"
(thinking again) "I like... I like to shop for shoes. And jew-ree. And clothes. And ak-cess-rees."
(pausing a second to remove the blue, fine point sharpie out of my eye) "Okay... well, give for me a great shopping experience you've had in the past. When you went shopping and was just made very happy with the whole time. What happened?"
(thinking again) "I like... I shop at May-says... and Pennies... And Sears--I love Sears"
(pausing again to pull the paper clips out from under my fingernails) "Okay, well, tell me what you think will be the most challenging thing about working at our store..."
(thinking again) "The register. Probably working the register."
(nodding, for once, as she gives a sensable answer) "Tell me what you think will be the most enjoyable part of the job?"
(thinking one final time, as this might be all she's got) "Um... probably the register"

She didn't get the job

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You know, I want to like the Olympics... I really do. I mean, the gymnastics are unbelievable, even if they are a little creepy, and the track is awesome, cause its simply, "Who can run faster?" and the swimming is fun, because its simply, "Who can swim faster?" But overall, its hard to get all excited for most of the Olympics, because none of you... and I mean NONE OF YOU care about fencing, nor water polo, nor women's sand volleyball, nor the decathalon, nor the trampoline, nor handball except for every four years. And let's face it, you take out swimming and gymnastics, then you lose 58% of your chick audience.

Don't get me wrong... I love my country, and I'm proud of the fact that as of this moment, we've to 107 medals, and am second--and a distant second--to only China in gold medals. Michael Phelps? He's a beast, seriously. Possibly the world's greatest athlete, until we find another one who is just as good, next week.

But really, will you remember anything beyond Michael Phelps? Maybe, and that's a solid maybe Nastia Liukin, but only because of her name. I mean, who remembers Carly Patterson?

And is it just me, or did Nastia and Shawn Johnson's Gold and Silver medals feel tainted, as both have heavy foriegn influences? Nastia was born in Russia, and brought to the US but trained under Muther Rusha's reign of premature growth. Shawn Johnson was born here, grew up in Iowa and trained under Laing Chow, from China.

Which led to this exchange with Mikey Nipp over lunch:
Mikey: Nastia is kinda hot
Me: Yeah, but dude... she's like jailbait
Mikey: Oh no she's not. Shawn Johnson is, but Nastia is 18. She's totally legal, dude
Me: Oh yeah...

Did you know, though, that softball is coming out of the Olympics in 2012? The rumor is, because the US Girls have won the gold every single time since it was introduced in 1996, though they just lost this time. And no lacrosse, no rugby... but there's badminton and handball.

Personally, I think they should make MMA an Olympic sport, and have countries that don't get along face off. Can you imagine the scene when Russia's Olympic MMA champ Igor Krhrzaovic takes on Georgia's MMA champ, Viktr Lozrovich? Or Israel's Ismael Epstein up against Palestine's Mahmeed Amajendade? THAT would be something I'd be up for.

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The Lovely Steph Leann is home. She's lying on the futon behind me, in the guest room here, and I'm web surfin'. On the blogsite here, comes Carly Simon's "You're So Vain". Whether we meant to do it or not, I'm not sure, but we both end up singing the first line...

"You walked into... the party... like you were walking onto a yacht... your hat strategically placed below one eye... your scarf it was apricot..."

Then, the next line. She sang, "With one eye in the mirror, you watched yourself go by..." and I sang, "With one eye in the mirror, you watched yourself cravat..." She looked at me, and said, "That's not what she's singing." I said, "It's something like that... I mean, I know its not 'go by'." She looked puzzled. "But that doesn't make any sense, does it? I mean, a cravat? That's a scarf, I think."

I replied simply, "Well, whatever it is, I know its not 'watch yourself go by.' I know that because that used to be the line I used, but I looked it up one day and found out I was wrong about that." And this was true.

She replied, "Well, I can't imagine she would sing 'you watched yourself cravat'. That makes no sense whatsoever." So, I turned to look it up. And the line? "With one eye in the mirror, you watched yourself gravotte..." I read the line to The Lovely Steph Leann, and she sat up. We both wondered... what's a gavotte?

Turns out, its a french dance of some sort. Apparently, in this context, it means pretentious or egotistical style of dancing.

You wanna know what else about this song, which is my Dave Hot 100 Ever? "then you flew your Lear Jet up to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun..." stems from the fact there were 2 solar eclipses in Nova Scotia in the 70s. It's also noteworthy that Warren Beatty, who has been rumored to be the subject of this song, has a mother who lives in Nova Scotia.

And, when "I hear you went up to Saratoga, and your horse naturally one...", it refers to the Saratoga Race Course meeting held in late July, August and early September in Saratoga Springs, New York. The meeting is known to be frequented by the rich and famous of New York and other places on the East Coast.

I had some dreams, they were Clouds in My Coffee, Clouds in My Coffee...

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And, finally... I'm behind the Box Office, at The Happiest Place in the Mall last week. Up walks three guests, one with the merchandise, one who apparently is her son, and another who seems like the son's friend.

She is buying some Tinkerbell pajamas, a Tinkerbell shirt and a little soft baseball with Tinkerbell on it. I chat with her for a moment, mostly about Disney and Tinkerbell, whom I admit I've got a cartoon crush on--she's silent, and 2D hot... and yes, I'm in therapy right now--and she tells me how she's loved Tinkerbell for years and years and years.

She pays with a credit card, and I ask for ID. The son pipes up, and says, "Wow, rough joint, you get carded here!"
And I smile and reply, "Well, you know, I have to make sure she's 21!" to which the mom grinned.
The friend looks bewildered. "You have to... show ID here to buy stuff?"
The son looks at his friend, with surprise, but I don't miss a beat, "Yep. You have to be over 21 to buy stuff here. It's the law."
The friend looks at me, then looks at the son, then back to me, and whispers to the son, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah... its to make sure you don't Tink and drive."

Thanks. I'll be here all week.

Taking the Mouse, Leaving the Bean Place

So... I'm a full time member of the Walt Disney World Company. The House of Mouse. By last Saturday night, maybe before Mikey's 30th birthday extravanganza, maybe after, I'm not sure, but sometime in there, I decided that I wanted to be a part of The Disney Store and the Disney Company. I'm sure its in no small part due to the little plastic card I get that allows me and The Lovely Steph Leann (and two of our closest friends) access to the World anytime. Alissa and Joey, you are on our list for next spring, after the wedding.

By Sunday, I was at peace with it. There's some turnover issues at The Disney Store, and I get the sense there's a morale or unstability issue. There was at Cahaba Heights when I went there in March of 2007... let's just say leadership there was... off. And if you are the leadership I speak of at that time, and you reading this, going nuts on me for cleaning the desk is not the way to get a favorable response on The Clouds in My Coffee Blog, read by dozens of people across this great land of ours.

Anyway, I like to think that in six months, I had helped put that team together--that team that included Peter, Chris, Katie, Greer, Tracy, Kelly, Buttahs and more--and that team rocked. I have a knack for hiring, somehow.

The fact that I'm going to get to help do the same thing at The Happiest Place in the Mall... well, thats a challenge I look forward to facing. Then a series of events happened this week, one after the other, that made me go, "Well, hey now... God might just have an idea what up it is after all..."

Monday... called The Happiest Place in the Mall, and confirmed that yes, I would be accepting the position. I now planned to be the assistant manager for the store. I had also referred My Friend Stephanie, a different Stephanie from The Lovely Steph Leann, mind you, to go apply for a job there. She applied at Target, and apparently, they have no idea whats going on... they hired her, and yet never called her, never scheduled her and told her nothing.

Tuesday... I had the evening off, and was set to put together some furniture bought at IKEA, with the help of Croyle. I was at Hallmark, shopping for a birthday card for Britlicious, the wife of said Croyle, when I get a call from another Starbucks manager. "Did you hear about the conference call?" Um... no. What conference call? "The one starting at 530..." We had one today at 3p, there is another one? "Yeah, this is being held by Special K, about store closings." (Now, she didn't say Special K, but thats what I like to call him. He's the regional director for Alabama, Mississippi and some of Georgia's Starbucks. Brilliant guy) Well, what time is it now? "Um... 512." Well, crap.

So I rush home to The Cabana, grab my phone, dial in, and hear the announcement that is currently all over the news and internet. Starbucks had already announced it would close 100 licensed stores--those are the stores that "Proudly Brew Starbucks Coffee" in Targets, Barnes & Nobles, airports, hospitals, etc--and just this instant, they were announcing the closings of 500 more stores--600 in all. Averaging 20 partners per store, there would be 12,000 positions eliminated, 12,000 partners that would either be transferred, displaced or leave the company.

Wednesday... I start answering questions to our team about the closings. "Are we on the list?" is the first question I get from everyone. The first 50 stores in the country would be closing by the end of July, but I hadn't gotten a call from our district manager to tell me our store would be one of them, so at least for now, we're safe. As a manager, I've got to do damage control, however, and make our partners and customers feel at ease. I leaned on Matt, one of our stars at the store, who I'd met with the previous night.

Thursday... My boss comes in at 9 to meet with me. Drops the news, news that didn't surprise me in the least, yet saddened me to a deep end. Our store, located at University and 20th Street, would be closing. Not now, not at the end of July, but sometime in the next 9 months. And with it, about 15 partners would be transferred to other stores, some of which will hopefully go on to be assistant managers, some of which will leave altogether. The sad part comes in when you know that many of these people have been together for a year or two, and its like a family split up. Like a foster home shutting down, sending its kids all over the place.

Bottom line is, Starbucks Coffee & Tea is fine, and will be fine. In 1999, Just For Feet was atop the world. They had just had one of the most buzzed about Super Bowl commercials in memory, and were opening franchises everywhere. Within 2 years, they collapsed amidst fraud and overexpansion. Krispy Kreme was also a media darling for a few years, but rapid expansion led to their stock price plummeting, and many franchises in the western states filed bankruptcy.

The closing of our store, plus three more stores in the city is a wise business decision. Starbucks voluntarily does it now, so they aren't forced to do it later. If I was at Cahaba Heights still, or Hwy 280, the University and 20th Store would be just another store I barely know, and I would just shrug, shake my head and say, "Too bad. But its the right choice." However comma I'm the manager of this particular Starbucks, and whether they like it or not, these are my partners, so instead I say, "This sucks. This really, really sucks. But its the right choice."

Just so you know, when you read the headlines that say, "Local Shops Run Big Coffee Giant Out", don't believe it, because crap isn't reliable. Lucy's Coffee and Tea, right around the corner from us, didn't run us out of business. O'Henry's, located in Homewood, didn't run the Soho store out of Soho. It was Starbucks stepping back, viewing their options and realizing that we have two stores that aren't quite pulling their weight, and don't seem as if they will be able to in the near future, regardless of team, manager, product or whatever. Be it a victim of circumstance, location or the terrible economy that we actually don't have, but the liberal media insists we do, there are some locations that just don't make sense. And Starbucks sees this.

Friday... I've submitted my resignation at Starbucks, stepping down as manager. I'll be taking on part time work as just a barista for a while at another Starbucks. No schedules, no deployment, no target reports, nothing to do but make lattes and talk to people, what I love to do the most.

I went by The Happiest Place in the Mall. The Lovely Steph Leann has already informed me that My Friend Stephanie has already been hired by the store, which I'm excited about. In the same manner it was great to have Lil Sister Ashley, a close BFF, working with me at University and 20th, it will be great to have a familiar, friendly face at The Happiest Place in the Mall.

Anyway, I gave my starting date as July 28th, even though I'll be picking up some shifts all along here and there, just to get acquainted with the store. I'm nervous about the new start, naturally, because who knows how they'll receive me? Even The Lovely Steph Leann admits sometimes that upon first impression, I can come off as kind of a flake. But thats okay. I'm there to see Mickey, help make Magical Moments and basically be happy... which I can do fairly well.

I came up with a list, my favorite eleven people to work with at Starbucks, spanning three stores--Vestavia, Hwy 280 and Cahaba Heights... I left off University and 20th just because if Jess or Carla or whoever reads this blog, how do I look at one and tell them they didn't make it? My list, in no particular order... Susie Franks/Weetman (Vestavia), Luna (Vestavia), Hannah (Vestavia), Megan (Vestavia) Joey Towey (Vestavia), Nall Wall (280), Rocky (280) Tiffany Alexander (Cahaba), Kelly (280 & Cahaba), Amanda (280 & Cahaba) and Schottsy (Cahaba). I'm sure another name will come up later that I'll wish I had added... Kat, maybe, or Karen, or Theresa, who knows.

Well, there's your answer. I made the decision to step away. Four days later, I find out my store will close. I would have been fine as a manager, I would have just been moved... but to who knows where, and who knows how long I might have had to share a store. Remember my blog, back on June 12th? The Virtues of Summer's weekly challenge was to take each of the fruits of the spirit, and spend a week practicing them. Love was the first week. I had to find my Joy in Him during all the chaos of job decisions. This week? Peace. Peace with my decision, peace with what's happening.

Next week? Patience. Crap.