Unconditional Love. What is?

"Why don't you just love yourself some more?" I remember a friend telling me some years ago when I was busy "finding myself", or so I thought.
As you live life, you figure out that life is not about finding yourself, rather it is about creating yourself. You already have what you need right there, wherever you are, within you.
I was dumbfounded - love yourself some more? Why? How is that possible?
Well, this fundamental ability to love yourself unconditionally - wherever you are in life, whatever obstacles you are dealing with, is the most important human skill in life.
Every other skill and ability - however well we may master it, becomes secondary if we can't love ourselves unconditionally. Because guess what - if you can't love yourself without needing to live up to a set of criteria - how can you love anyone else? Love is supposed to be unconditional - what is the point in saying, "Well, darling you know, I'll love you if x, y and z. And don't forget the dishes while you're at it!". That is not love. That is a businesses proposal. Love is a feeling, it is not based on rational nor logic. And it shouldn't be. Emotions are valuable in themselves.

If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. You may find yourself in various relationships based on vanity and fear. Fear of being alone and thus needing others approval out of vanity. Vanity and fear make for an ugly cocktail. You can't receive and accept love if you have cut yourself off from accepting yourself. And if you don't love anyone else, what value are you adding to the world then?

Yes, it may seem harsh - but love is the only thing that matters in life.

Eat. Breathe and.. Love. Always love.

And if you find it so hard to do, then get a pet. Yes, I said a pet, because entering a relationship before you love yourself is a disaster. However much another human may love you, if you don't love yourself, you will find a way to destroy that relationship. And when you say, "it is not you, it is me" - which you will undoubtedly say at some point down the road, that will be the exact truth and not an excuse. Simply because you cannot return the love that that person is showing you, as long as you don't know how to love yourself unconditionally. We can only connect to feelings that we ourselves have experienced. Mind you, that doesn't mean that we must have endured the same experiences - no, it is the feelings we must have experienced in order to connect and show empathy.

Getting an animal, and learning how to take care of it, is like taking a baby-step before learning to walk. Watch how that cat or dog loves you unconditionally. Unconditionally is not the same as accepting abuse, however. Putting up with abuse is incompatible with loving yourself, which must come before loving another human being. A cat will leave you, if you don't treat it with the respect that every living creature deserves. That's one thing I love about cats: You set it free to run in the morning when you wake up, and then when you call its name in the evening when you come home - and it comes back to you; then you know, it loves you. Because as the saying goes: when you set something free, and it comes back to you, it is yours.

It is yours because it chooses to be yours.

And I think that is the most amazing thing: That a wild creature, born to run free, chooses to give itself to you completely. Trusts you to take care of it.
You can only truly do that, if you take care of yourself.

Show me your shell, and I will judge you.

What if we were all the same; the shell that contains our soul was the same to the judging eye.
The first impression - would be what?
The scent. The voice. And then perhaps the actual contents of what we have to say.

And you wonder - all those people dealing with daily insecurities because of their bodily flaws according to our sick standards in society - would they blossom, when they no longer struggled with their imperfections?
Would they find inner peace, if there no longer was anyone condemning them for their visible shortcomings?
Would we in fact be flawless if we no longer strived for external perfection.

Sometimes I wonder: What if we left all judgement to God where it belongs.
What if we stopped pretending that we have the answer.
What if we stopped lying. Playing games. With others and ourselves. Games of deceit.
Would we all win then?
The thing we want the most - to win. Would we win back life if we stopped playing the game.

What would this world be like.
If we all were naked - emotionally and in the same skin.

Would we dare more, evolve more as humans, connect with our inner call, because the outside was out of our control and mattered not?

On Love and What Not!

We all know that the most important thing in life is love - and yet, it is so fundamental, that we often forget that in order to love others, we must love ourselves first - in spite and BECAUSE of our shortcomings and love handles and all! Love should never come second to achieving some ideal body perfection or picture-perfect life. 

Unfortunately, many of us are driven by perfection because we think that when we reach those external goals then internal happiness will follow.

In this clip my FABULOUS real life friend gives a great reminder of how to love and what not.

Meet Catherine - she is a true superstar! Such a doll - what's not to love!
And check out Chanel - her small dog. It is THE CUTEST THING EVER - on and off-screen. Gotta love it.

Turn off the music at the bottom of the right sidebar before watching this clip.

Italian Vogue: Fat is beautiful

Yeah right.

That was my first reaction to Italian Vogue with the new June cover consisting of lingerie lounging curvy plus-sized women.
No doubt they look gorgeous and confident on this cover, however, usually this size would be described as obese in the fashion industry.

Well, then, if this is obese then I don't know why we are fighting the obesity epidemic - because quite frankly these chicks look pretty damn hot.

I always get this suspicious feeling when I read yet another headline stating that "they are now all for curves" in one of those skeleton high-fashion magazines; considering that the average runway model has a BMI of 16, and the size of their thighs resemble my right arm.

I mean, HELLO! Seriously, if you think Gisele is curvy, then I don't want to see skinny.

Really, what is this...
Is this fashion or sickness being exploited?

Voluptuous can be far more alluring than the stick straight waifs we’re so accustomed to seeing in magazines and on runways.

Many of the women who have a few extra kilos are especially beautiful and also more feminine.

Flipping through this issue is the cure for anyone who thinks curves are a curse.

While curves are hot, you still want to make sure that the type of fat in your body does not promote cellulite nor release of inflammatory producing cytokines.

The Nutrition Doctor can design your body according to your desires and lifestyle. Make an appointment today to get started with The Body Designer™

George Clooney's Secret to Fatal Attraction is Confidence in Motion...

(Turn off the music bottom of the right side bar before watching this clip)

Dark...

Strong...

Delicate...

Smooth...

Intense...

Just how I like my coffee. What else?

Now these may all very well be traits that apply to George as well, but what enables him to top the charts of most desirable males year after year is his confidence: His ability to exude that he is comfortable in his own skin through and through. 

There is something incredibly innocent in his uncanny ability to assume that him simply showing up is just adorable. 

And that is part of his secret to fatal attraction: He is emotionally naked and thoroughly comfortably in his own skin. It's a sensation that rubs off on those he surrounds himself with.

Everyone aims to be comfortable in their own skin, and whomever can make you feel comfortable in your skin, will be attractive in your eyes.

This fact is also why you will typically like to be around someone who shares your overall values in life, but can help to either take the edge off your tendency to be overly perfectionistic and Type A personality or push you to perform and organize your messiness depending on what you need. 

It is all about balance in life and learning to not push yourself towards your own extremist tendencies - whether they be obsessive perfectionistic, or you tend to enjoy the easy life to the point that you can't commit and  follow through when it matters. Both personality traits which are equally unappealing and self-destructive. Understanding your own personality traits is key to lasting friendships and relationships.

 That, and feeling comfortable in this skin.

James Bond's got it. Do you?

What is style worth without substance?

Nothing.

Style without substance is, in my humble opinion, the very definition of ugly.
What's the point of a shell that tricks you into thinking there is more than there really is.
It is a trick. A mind game if you will.
It's like a push-up bra - giving you the illusion of something grande, yet when the curtain falls, so to speak, you are left with nothing.
It is those who have been raised and praised for their looks their entire life that end up never developing other skills; so whenever they open their mouth to speak, it makes you cringe and wish that they'd just follow the adage "shut up and look pretty", knowing that in ten years, age will have caught up with them, and another pretty, younger face ready to take over. Their shell is threatened by time.

James Bond being the very definition of an icon who masters style & substance, and thus he is timeless.

Those who do not master the art of style & substance end up as shells. Shells so empty and hollow; so easily crushed.
Shells that are void of substance will always end up being crushed under pressure.

Style and substance. It is a balancing act.
Can you handle it?

The Model's Secret to look hot in a bikini...

Obviously some killer ABS don't hurt. And you can get yours by starting on The Body Designer™ program with The Nutrition Doctor.

But really, the secret to looking great in a bikini is to know what flatters you - right NOW!
A great body can look absolutely terrible in the wrong cut bikini.
And if you are among the 90% of women trying to shed some pounds for the coming season, you will most likely fall victim to boy-shorts and other disaster cover-ups that only makes your derriere look like it needs a zip-code of its own. Really, not the type of real-estate you want to look like you're investing in these days: The market is not buying.

Miraculous bikini by Victoria's Secret

Instead, do the opposite: Don't cover up your curves, accentuate what you got.
If you got it, flaunt it. Simple, really. Covering things up only make them seem bigger... as in all areas of life.

So being driven by vanity, yet in need of functionality for surfing and after years of trying this and that, here are the top 3 things to look for in a bikini that will accentuate your curves in a positive way, whether you got a skinny flat ass or some serious junk in the trunk.

1. Choose a low-rise bottom; it makes your derriere look smaller, but rounder and curvier at the same time. The Brazilians know it. And it looks hot. End of story.

2. Choose bikini straps that tie around your neck for max cleavage and support when running around and engaging in water sports.

3. Choose light & bright colors that clash with your sun-tan. Black bikinis are boring; polka-dots and prints are feminine and take focus away from less-than-perfect body-hang-ups such as cellulite, scars etc.

This summer I love the polka-dotted miraculous bikini from Victoria's Secret. It's comfortable and gives great support when running around the beach surfing and playing volley-ball. And there is a sentimental streak of naivety to it as those polka-dots remind me of the fifties. Totally adorable. Gotta love it.

How Victoria's Secret Marisa Miller remains sane: Surfing

Do you remember...?


What passion feels like.
The tingling sensation of rain hitting your skin.
The rays of the sun caressing your soul.

Do you remember what it feels like when everything flows.
Nothing really matters.
Do you remember what happiness feels like.
Do you remember what motivates you in life.
Do you remember what LIFE feels like?

Or did you lose yourself and your values along the way...

Everyone needs a crotch in life. Everyone needs something to fall back on when times are tough. Everyone needs that wake-up call that reminds them what truly matters in life.
Because we are only human and lest we forget our humble needs and human shortcomings we stand to fall.

The key is to choose a crotch that is not self-destructive. One that reconnects us with our inner values and call in life.

Being one with nature, experiencing how small I am compared to how grande everything that God created keeps me sane. Surfing keeps me sane.
Does your crotch in life keep you sane or add to insanity?

That's a beautiful can...

(Remember to turn off the music player at the bottom of the right sidebar, before watching this clip)


Does this make you want to drink Pepsi?
That car. 
That stare. 
That hair.
...Heck yeah!

This is such a classic - and I adore Cindy, as she has that timeless class and confidence about her.
The power of her is so strong that whatever she does, you want to do it too. And don't give me that "Not me! I'm above emotional manipulation!" Darling, you are tricking yourself. No one is above being driven by their emotions; it's all about whether we are conscious of the game or not.
That can is going to be in your hand next time you grab something from the minibar. Although, it's not going to satisfy your thirst for passion...

Use the power of emotions to add passion to whatever you value in life. Passion is what draws people in. Passion is what makes people copy you and your actions. And that is ultimately the goal in life: To do something worth having others copy.

Never forget the power of action vs. empty words. People do what they see you doing, not what you say. Whether it comes from a can or you're on a quest to save the planet.

Choose your passion and others will follow. Passion leads to fatal attraction.

Attention Whore. Are You?

I have this friend who smiles. Like, a lot.

Marilyn knew the power of emotional pornography: 
Make people THINK you like them.
Unfortunately, faking your feelings and manipulating others 
do not lead to happiness;
she ended up the mistress and ending her miseries in an overdose. 
With a smile, I am sure.

I have often wondered why it is that she smiles at every joe that passes her way? It is certainly not based on her finding them attractive, more often than not she admits to finding them repulsive.
What drives these fake smiles, is that she so desperately wants to be liked. It has nothing to do with whether she likes someone or not. She just wants them to like her. And they do; or rather they like the fact that someone likes them (...). Both driven by vanity and insecurity they suffocate each other in smiles, niceties and hollow flattery only because they crave the attention, the affirmation that they are worthy of the attention. The only reason they compliment is to hear it back, the only reason why they smile, is to be smiled back at, the only reason they stay is to receive flattery. Words so empty and without meaning.
Their being nice is actually an act based on selfishness. NOT that there is anything wrong with being nice. You might as well add some hope to a world drowning in pain, and in many cases something like just being there, being present means everything. But motive is everything. You cannot hide your vain ego behind a shallow smile and old lines.
And there is nothing more distasteful than to witness someone lying through their teeth out of vanity.

And that is why I so firmly believe that the first step to getting the body of your dreams and gaining attractiveness, is to FEEL great in your own skin. Because a great body will follow.
And everyone deserves to feel comfortable in this skin.

Your New Body Is Waiting...

Everybody deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin....

It's gettin' hot in here... This summer... This could be YOU!

Contact us to get started with 

The Body Designer™ by The Nutrition Doctor

You're So Vain.

He is a 10. There is no doubt about it - judging objectively.
Everything speaks to his favor:
Ripped abs - check.
Strong masculine jawline - check.
Facial symmetry - check.
He falls under that tall, dark and handsome category.
Every time he comes by, the girls are throwing themselves at him - coyly giggling and fluttering their eyelashes to catch his attention.
And yet, when asked what I thought about said guy, I blurted out "Him? Why, he is UGLY!". Very classy, yes I know.

However, I was genuinely puzzled that anyone could find him attractive - after analyzing his features, well, it makes sense on paper, that he should be gorgeous.
The thing is I find him truly ugly. Now the paradox here lies in that I know people who have terrible features - on paper - and yet I would never in a million years think them ugly. Because they are not - in my opinion; even though yes, they may be overweight, yes they may have asymmetrical features and no, they may not dress in Armani power suits.
Yet, my initial reaction to this guy, who does everything in his power to live up to this image of what an attractive male should look like, was that he is drop-dead-ugly.

Simply because he is VAIN. He tries too hard. And that makes me suspicious: What is it that he is trying to hide underneath those layers of ripped abs and that perfectly groomed hair? What is his dark secret?
He comes off as a fake. He is not authentic. He comes off as someone who is not comfortable in his own skin, and thus needs to hide his true naked self; spending hours in the gym making up for his shortcomings.

David Beckham: Driven by vanity?

It's like David Beckham vs. George Clooney. Who is the more attractive in your opinion?

George Clooney: Driven by passion

You know Beckham has better abs. And he is taller. He is younger. He is stronger. But he tries too hard - an attention whore mesmerized by his own reflection. Only using his fame to feed his ever-growing ego and endless between-the-sheets escapades. In stark contrast to Clooney who understands how to use his fame for a greater good serving others, and then stand from it.

Or Cindy Crawford vs. Pamela Anderson. Who is the more attractive here?

What is she making up for
with those plastic-fantastic curves...

The naked truth: Genuinely strong yet fragile.
Confidence in motion.

You know Pamela has better curves. And yet... she comes off as a complete rip-off compared to Cindy, who admittedly has some cellulite on her derriere. But it just doesn't matter in the grande scheme. She is authentic. She is confident. She is who she is. Take it or leave it.

But someone who spends fortunes on pumping up the volume of their curves? Vanity. And that is ugly. Vanity is based on a mix of insecurity, pride and selfishness with an inability to show gratitude. A very ugly combination of traits, really. From that perspective, it makes sense that vanity is one of the seven sins. If you think that what you achieve in life is all due to your own glory and vain ego you will hit the ground hard one day.

I remember George Clooney saying in an interview with regard to whether he felt "proud": "You are never quite as good as they say you are, when they say you're good. And you are never quite as bad as they say you are, when they say you're bad."


That is being confident, yet not vain: He knows what he's got and not. And that is attractive.

Lights ON or Lights OFF?

Lights ON! Knowing what you got is hot.

Tacky? Why yes.
Let me rephrase: Are you comfortable in your own skin?
Because that is basically what it boils down to.
Being comfortable in your own skin seems for many to be a feeling long forgotten; left in the innocence of childhood, when our bodies only served as a vehicle for play.

In an attempt to regain that sensation of being complete many search for easy solutions... giving in to diet pills and the plastic surgeon's promise that he will make our lives bliss if we get that lift.

He can fix us. Make us perfect. Make us whole again.
Just take it off and lie down on his table. Inhale and when you wake up... your life will be complete.
Trust him.... after all, he is a doctor.

Broken promises soon to be... exchanging your Amex for a frozen empty stare. And your husband still has an affair.
So much pain. So many lies.
Is that all there is? You wonder.

Maybe you should have had that liposuction too - your ass has been heading south lately.
Vanity. It kills.

Being comfortable in your own skin has little to do with achieving perfection.
Being comfortable in your own skin comes from living a life of integrity. Being able to look yourself in the mirror. Knowing that every decision you make is based on the values you have in life. Now I am not saying that life is going to be easy, because it is not. Life is not easy. But the first thing, and most important thing you can do, before trying yet another gimmicky diet in your quest for long legs and amazing abs, is to treat yourself with respect and write down a clear-cut list of your values and beliefs in life. What are you passionate about? Where do you see yourself in two years from now? WHO do you want to be? What are the values that you want to represent? And then simply make sure that every decision is based on matching your values in life. When you know your values, everything else falls in to place, because your values serve as your inner compass when making decisions.

Don't get me wrong here: I am all for the beauty that life has to offer, but how you chose to get there makes for a very different outcome.
If your quest for long legs and skin-of-an-18-year-old is based on unhappiness and fear of loneliness you will find yourself very dissappointed after you leave the plastic surgeon's office.
He can't fix your belief system or screwed value set. Only you can.

I have yet to meet an attractive person who has been under the knife. Unhappiness and frozen gazes are not attractive. Accepting your imperfections (whatever that is compared to the latest airbrushed flavor of the month on the cover of VOGUE) is... hot.
Confidence is hot.
Knowing what you got and not is hot.
Not caring what other people think is hot.

You can't please everybody, so you might as well accept that this is the body God gave you and life is now. A funny thing happens when you stop focusing on fear and what you don't want in life: It vanishes. But first, you have to let go of fear. Until you do, you will be stuck; constantly attracting into your life what you are afraid of.

It takes courage, but that is the only way out: Accepting that nothing is perfect.
And THAT somehow just makes everything in your life perfect. Ironic, indeed.