Show me your shell, and I will judge you.

What if we were all the same; the shell that contains our soul was the same to the judging eye.
The first impression - would be what?
The scent. The voice. And then perhaps the actual contents of what we have to say.

And you wonder - all those people dealing with daily insecurities because of their bodily flaws according to our sick standards in society - would they blossom, when they no longer struggled with their imperfections?
Would they find inner peace, if there no longer was anyone condemning them for their visible shortcomings?
Would we in fact be flawless if we no longer strived for external perfection.

Sometimes I wonder: What if we left all judgement to God where it belongs.
What if we stopped pretending that we have the answer.
What if we stopped lying. Playing games. With others and ourselves. Games of deceit.
Would we all win then?
The thing we want the most - to win. Would we win back life if we stopped playing the game.

What would this world be like.
If we all were naked - emotionally and in the same skin.

Would we dare more, evolve more as humans, connect with our inner call, because the outside was out of our control and mattered not?

Italian Vogue: Fat is beautiful

Yeah right.

That was my first reaction to Italian Vogue with the new June cover consisting of lingerie lounging curvy plus-sized women.
No doubt they look gorgeous and confident on this cover, however, usually this size would be described as obese in the fashion industry.

Well, then, if this is obese then I don't know why we are fighting the obesity epidemic - because quite frankly these chicks look pretty damn hot.

I always get this suspicious feeling when I read yet another headline stating that "they are now all for curves" in one of those skeleton high-fashion magazines; considering that the average runway model has a BMI of 16, and the size of their thighs resemble my right arm.

I mean, HELLO! Seriously, if you think Gisele is curvy, then I don't want to see skinny.

Really, what is this...
Is this fashion or sickness being exploited?

Voluptuous can be far more alluring than the stick straight waifs we’re so accustomed to seeing in magazines and on runways.

Many of the women who have a few extra kilos are especially beautiful and also more feminine.

Flipping through this issue is the cure for anyone who thinks curves are a curse.

While curves are hot, you still want to make sure that the type of fat in your body does not promote cellulite nor release of inflammatory producing cytokines.

The Nutrition Doctor can design your body according to your desires and lifestyle. Make an appointment today to get started with The Body Designer™

Knowing your weaknesses

What is the trait that you most deplore in others?

Think about it - because typically what we despise in others is our own dark side.

I.e. I couldn't care less about jealousy; likely because I don't have a jealous bone in my body (inasmuch as this is humanly possible anyway). However, I absolutely deplore pretension. The very scent of pretension just makes my hair stand up on my neck. Pretension comes in many forms. Pretending to be perfect. Pretending to be infallible. Pretending to be strong.

I used to be terrified of being weak; thinking that if people ever found out I had any sign of weakness/vulnerability within me, they would walk all over me and I would fall apart in a million pieces, never to be whole again. Well, newsflash: People will walk over you regardless, but only if you allow them to. And no, you will not fall apart. It may hurt, but time heals all wounds, and eventually you figure out, when people hurt you it is only because they are hurting; it has little to do with you.

Ironically, coming off as if you can't break, makes people want to see what your breaking point is even more. I guess it is part of human nature to be somewhat sadistic and to keep pushing the limits. If you don't set boundaries in life, then people can't respect them and won't know before they have already crossed the line. Pretending to be infallible is a recipe for a disaster, as you will none stop get attacked to prove you wrong.

Keeping it real: Connecting with your feelings...

The most obvious example being when we are kids: Those who bawl over everything and nothing get the most  attention. And those who bite the pain and never shed a tear get none. As much as I dislike drama and hypochondriacs, fact is that it is rarely those loudmouths that end up suicidal. It is always those quiet ones who cry in silence, never show their pain and thus never receive the love and care that every living creature needs in order to survive in this world. If you don't show your vulnerability, no one will know that you need nurture. You can't expect people to read your mind. And so you die - your pride ends up killing you. First emotionally dead and later... physically, however you decide to go about it before your time is up.You can change this unhealthy pattern. Risking vulnerability helps you remain sane - and yet, what prevents you from risking vulnerability is that you THINK you risk sanity. You need to remain sane enough to think rationally, and not rape everyone with your ever-changing feelings like another drama queen; yet it is key for your survival that you stay in tune with your feelings and show your needs. Otherwise no one can give you what you need in life. And bottom line is that makes everyone unhappy.

All humans have weakness - because without weakness their would be no strength, so pretending that you have none, is pretending that you are something you are not: Flawless.

The people who are often the most inspiring are those who dare be emotionally naked and show the scars that most of us hide behind our designer clothes.

If you risk nothing, then what is there really to admire? You are a scaredy cat: Hiding behind a shell, playing it safe. You are painting a pretty picture, but it is not real. It is an illusion that no one can connect with. You are guilty of adding more disconnectedness and loneliness into the world.

You are deceiving yourself...
Lies. All those little white lies are slowly eating you up.
Weakness comes from covering up who you really are. 

You think you are such a pro, because you are so careful in covering up your true self, that no one knows your fakeness? Everyone knows; except those dimwits who are also part of the same fame game. You can always sense pretentiousness from a far... it is not what you say; somehow people who disconnect from themselves have something about them that is so repelling in spite of the image they master to portray like an illusionist. But as anyone knows: Tricks are for kids. And it is so obvious for anyone not completely brainwashed by MTV that those who spend fortunes on designer clothes, hair salons, nails and what have you - always looking immaculate: Making sure that there is no outer sign of imperfection; they are seriously messed up on the inside. Otherwise they would not need to be so obsessed about perfecting their shell. This also explains why just about every celeb/model is either on drugs or suffering from borderline personality disorder. And more often than not: Both - and then some. That sort of narcissism brings sickness in its waters. Not a pretty sight.

You can't change what you don't know: Knowing your weaknesses enables you to prevent you from reaching your breaking point in all areas of life.

In my work as a Life Stylist I often use a SWOT analysis to help design the life that my clients long for. This tool often used in business is valuable as it helps to identify strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats when organizing and mapping out how to achieve the goals you want in life.

You can download this tool here and email it back to us when making your appointment.

Attention Whore. Are You?

I have this friend who smiles. Like, a lot.

Marilyn knew the power of emotional pornography: 
Make people THINK you like them.
Unfortunately, faking your feelings and manipulating others 
do not lead to happiness;
she ended up the mistress and ending her miseries in an overdose. 
With a smile, I am sure.

I have often wondered why it is that she smiles at every joe that passes her way? It is certainly not based on her finding them attractive, more often than not she admits to finding them repulsive.
What drives these fake smiles, is that she so desperately wants to be liked. It has nothing to do with whether she likes someone or not. She just wants them to like her. And they do; or rather they like the fact that someone likes them (...). Both driven by vanity and insecurity they suffocate each other in smiles, niceties and hollow flattery only because they crave the attention, the affirmation that they are worthy of the attention. The only reason they compliment is to hear it back, the only reason why they smile, is to be smiled back at, the only reason they stay is to receive flattery. Words so empty and without meaning.
Their being nice is actually an act based on selfishness. NOT that there is anything wrong with being nice. You might as well add some hope to a world drowning in pain, and in many cases something like just being there, being present means everything. But motive is everything. You cannot hide your vain ego behind a shallow smile and old lines.
And there is nothing more distasteful than to witness someone lying through their teeth out of vanity.

And that is why I so firmly believe that the first step to getting the body of your dreams and gaining attractiveness, is to FEEL great in your own skin. Because a great body will follow.
And everyone deserves to feel comfortable in this skin.

Your face is just fine, but you'll have to put a bag over that personality.

Los Angeles is infamous for its not-yet-out-of high-school boob jobs and model/actress/waitress Barbie dolls.

New York is known for its fair share of Botox filled ladies-who-lunch-and-only-god-knows-what-else gold-diggers.

These godforsaken cities filled with man-made creations, gravity defying skyscrapers and the obsession with anti-aging, have such a draw to them that whatever goes on in the rest of the world, and however messed up their respective economies may be, they remain the capitals of the world. A weird love-hate relationship has always existed when it comes to New York and Los Angeles.

Either you love what they stand for or you absolutely hate it. There is no middle-ground. Everything is taken to extremes. That goes for the quest of ultimate bodily perfection as well.

So much time, money and energy is spent on perfecting what was perfect to start out with from the hands of our creator - quite frankly it is insulting. On so many levels.

Extreme measures, such as risking the dangers of liposuction with a body-fat% already below the thirties and Botox injected in girls in their twenties driven by vanity, insecurity and oftentimes a generous amount of self-hatred,  is not based on respecting your body; it is abusing your mind and soul and disconnecting from true meaning - losing yourself along the way.

And that always makes me want to say, “You know, your face is fine, but you’ll have to put a bag over that personality… because that is just one uglyass personality.”

How Much Does Happiness Cost...?

NB: Turn off the music in the right sidebar, before watching this clip.

This video for Calvin Klein Collections Spring 2011 intrigues me. 

What are they selling here? Emotions. The search for perfection... bliss... timelessness... eternal youth... love.... beauty.... all our basic needs will be met if we buy this product. That is, only if we have empty, shallow lives will we be tempted to give in to this kind of emotional pornography.

If you have found what is already within you... a sense of peace... calmness... the ability to taste a ripe fig... savoring the flavors.... watching the sun while it sets in the horizon.... being mesmerized by how the leaves change with the season. Just being able to be.... then you won't need what they are falsely selling here. Because what you need... everything is in you already... you have the power to change... a different life... one that is full and rich is within your grasp... waiting for you to take that first step....

You are not alone. Others have gone before you. Pain is universal, but you can turn your pain into beauty, wisdom and knowledge... but you have to take that first step to let go of self-destructive behaviors.

We can help you.

Contact us today.