The Scent. Of Blood.

Why is it that we tend to repeat the very behaviors that we ourselves have been hurt by in the past.
Shouldn't it be crystal-clear that in order to not cause any more pain in our own and others lives, then we must never engage in behaviors that we KNOW will cause pain?

Thing is, it is a fine line - because one needs to have cut oneself in order to know the scent of blood, and know how to heal the wounds before the cut gets too deep and the blood drains; leaving the victim lifeless.

The scent of blood is tied to a deep longing to be loved.

If you don't know the scent of blood you have no clue on how to pick up the warning signs of scratched skin in others, and you will not be able to show empathy, because we can only connect to things that we have ourselves been exposed to in some form or another; you need to have felt pain to know what pain looks like in others. If you do not know what blood is, how can you stop someone from dying? You will simply wander through the bloodbath oblivious to the pain and suffering.

On the other hand: If your cuts are so deep, that they have drained your blood, and left you emotionally dead, then you will be drawn to the scent of blood like sharks in the ocean. You will find pleasure in others pain, because you have not healed yourself, and you are hurting so deeply that the only thing that can temporarily relief you from your misery is that someone else is in more pain than you.

And thus, hurting others becomes your coping mechanism; your life vest to keep you from drowning.
You more or less consciously seek out your victims, suck their blood and leave them lifeless - just like you once were. Yes, vampires do exist.

In order to break the habit of sucking out the life of others, you need to become conscious first. Because when people hurt others, they do it on auto-play - it is a habit so deeply ingrained in them that it is like breathing, they have led themselves to believe that it is necessary for their very survival.
How do you know if you are a vampire? Well, look at the trail of blood you have left behind. We will all have some blood stains behind us here and there, but if there literally is a trail of blood, then you are addicted to misery.

You cannot quit cold-turkey even though this is not a drug per se, but it still serves as your life vest - a survival mechanism. Most likely you don't even know you are doing it, but simply feel that you are a victim of bad luck.

And this in itself should be a warning sign: There is no such thing as bad luck, only bad choices.
You can learn to make better choices. Choices that slowly enable you to let go of the pain of the past and your addiction to misery.
It's human to be drawn to the dark side, but that does not make it any less painful nor acceptable.

You have a choice to change the way you act and react - affecting those around you, as well as your own life. Every time you hurt someone else, you step further away from happiness - even if you find instant gratification in the moment.

Stop hurting others. You are hurting yourself.

Monopolizing misery.

Meet client A: She is  21, comes from a wholesome family, tall and slender, has a loving and handsome boyfriend and her dad’s credit card in her pocket. And yet she cries herself to sleep every night, covers the mirrors in self-hatred and does coke on the weekends. She has no deep traumas. Spoiled brat, is she?

Meet client B: She is 23, sexually abused by her dad since her mother died when she was in her early teens. Everyone can understand that she cuts herself to distract herself from the emotional pain, prefers vodka over water and can’t hold a job (...).

Question: Who has the right to pain of the two? 

Answer: Both. Pain is in perception. Life hurts. Everyone cries. And they both hurt equally much. It is not what you go through in life, but how you deal with it.

Everyone has the right to pain, ironically people somehow tend to compete in that area, addicted to misery and yearning for pity: Demanding the right to misery, insisting that certainly their situation is unique; their life is so much tougher than anyone else’s (...)

If there is one thing I have learnt in life, it is that everybody hurts sometimes. No one hurts more than others. And yet it seems that there is this competition going on “who has it tougher”. I don’t get it: Aren’t we supposed to change what we don’t like in life, instead of continue being in a situation that cause us to complain day in and day out.

Isn’t insanity defined by the very act of doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting a different outcome...?

If so, insanity is the new normalcy. 

And that is just plain sad. It is certainly nothing to brag about.

Animals know pain, but no self-pity.

If you don’t like the cards you have been dealt, then play a different game.

Why continue to play a game that you hate? That makes no sense.

Only humans tend to be addicted to misery and demand pity. It is an incredibly selfish act, this trying to manipulate others via emotional pornography. Everyone deserves empathy and love, but using emotions to manipulate is pure selfishness.

I have never seen an animal feel sorry for itself. They take the hits, and then they move on. Kittens tumble and fall, and their mothers watch from a distance, ensuring that they can handle the hit, but don’t intervene unless a matter of life and death. They learn from an early age that “hey, life hurts, and it’s going to kick you til you lie down, so you might as well learn to protect yourself, lick your wounds, and then get back up”. Even when animals die, do they demand pity and cry? No, they carry themselves with pride, and bundle up to die. That is life. Death is a natural part of life. And if one has faith in God, then death is not the end.

Pain is universal, it’s not a competition about who hurts the most - because everyone hurts. It is about finding a solution and healing the scars: Everyone deserves to be loved. And oftentimes those who cry in silence need it more than those who open the watergates in public in a vain attempt to gain pity and attention.


If you need help to redesign your life, contact your Life Stylist - we can help you out of misery. We understand the biochemical and emotional complexities when changing your life, whether you a struggling with an addiction due to an imbalanced brain chemistry or stuck in self-destructive black/white addictive thinking causing fear and anxiety to take up your focus.

There are many ways to commit suicide...

Some of us do it by the knife and fork; gluttony.
Some of us do it by drugging ourselves with Rx meds for years; escaping our emotions.
Some of us take on dead-end jobs that go nowhere; finding solace in never taking risks and being rejected.
Some of us stay in abusive relationships; finding comfort in negative reinforcements of how little value we add.
Some of us prefer to do it in public and hang out at bars after work; numbing our spiritual needs.

What are we trying to hide; what are the feelings that we don't feel comfortable dealing with?
Why are we so scared of leaving our comfort zone when it is obvious to anyone from the outside that it is hurting us?
Why are we so scared of dying, when the truth is that the majority of us live lives that are like walking deads and we even actively engage in activities that numb us out; disabling us from experiencing the flavors of life.

We all die in the end. And yet everyone seems to obsess about it; things that are beyond our control. It's a funny thing that humans tend to turn into control freaks concerning things that they will never be able to control, and yet the basic things in life that we can control - we never do.
We don't take control of our lives and make it happen. Instead we pursue things that will only bring failure. Maybe it is the appeal of knowing the outcome already, so we don't have to deal with our dreams being crushed like glass shattered on the floor. We will just crush them already - that way we don't have to deal with disappointment, because we dare not dream.
But we should, because without pain there would be no healing. Without hurt there would be no recovery. Without vulnerability there would be no strength.

I'm not afraid of the inevitable that is beyond my power, but I am afraid of not living while I am alive.
You are the only one who is in control of your life while you are alive.
You are the only one who can take responsibility for your outcome in life.
There is no one to put the blame on but you.
Is this the life you want?

Or are you slowly self-destructing...