So, sometimes when I am looking for something blog and I know I have to not only be up in about 7 hours for work, meaning I'll need to be in bed in an hour or so... and so tonight, I found this little gem. Well, to me its a gem, to you it might just be something to skim on your daily check of Clouds in My Coffee
...which I've noticed I'm getting alot of traffic daily, probably due to The Summer of Blogging--so... thank you so much...
...anyway, its the lyrics to a version of "Everyone's Free to Wear Sunscreen", done by Baz Luhrmann from 1999.
It originated in 1997, when Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune wrote a column entitled "Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young". She described it as "a commencement speech, were I asked to give one". Over the years, it has been erroneously attributed to Kurt Vonnegat, though it became truly famous when, in 1999, Australian film director Baz Luhrmann used the entire essay in a spoken word song entitled "Wear Sunscreen".
And by 2000, this song was everywhere. So, on January 9th, 2001, I did my own version. And I thought I'd give it to you...
"HAVE A QUIET TIME (EVERYBODY'S FREE)"
Ladies and gentlemen of The Deuce... read scripture.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, a daily quiet time would be it. The long term benefits of The Word has been proven time after time by God and joy in your life that comes with Him, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice...
...now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of The Deuce.Oh, never mind, you will never understand the power and beauty of The Deuce until it has disbanded.But trust me, in twenty years, you will look back at photos of Deuce Christmas and an old DeuceFest shirt and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much fun you had and how fabulous the Deuce guys really looked.
They are not as lazy as you might think.
Don't worry about the future or worry, but know that worrying is as ineffective as McLeod trying to be entertained by watching Jason Takes Manhatten.The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that has a Mercedes blindsiding your insuranceless car at 10:30pm on a random Tuesday.
Bring one new person to Common Ground, even if it scares you.
If you are Stephanie Campbell, sing.Unless you are Rebecca Glassco.Then act.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with Delta Zetas who are reckless with yours.
Use coasters.
Don't waste your time on jealousy... if she likes you, great, if she doesn't, being jealous will only turn her off of you even further.The race is long and though you may never reach the end, enjoy the run.
Remember compliments Michael gives you, forget his insults.If you succeed in doing this, you aren't Sarah Hasha.
Keep your old movie tickets.Throw away any bills.
Slam.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 20 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 25 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of Hamburger Helper.
Be kind to the Nipp family... you'll miss Sunday lunch when its gone.
Maybe you'll get a date, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll go out twice, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll go stag at Deuce Date Party, maybe you'll eat cheese fries on your 2nd anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, dont berate yourself to much either.
God's will is going to happen, whether you like it or not.
Enjoy the Deuce.Visit every chance you can, don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it.It has some of the greatest fellowship you'll ever know.
Watch the History Channel at least once a week, even if there are others things on.
Don't worry about the directions, just shove them behind the DVDS.
Do not read Shawn's Better Homes and Gardens, it will only make you feel gay.
Get to know Factor 7's music.You'll never know when they'll break up for good.
Be nice to your roommates.They are the best link to paying rent on time, and the people most likely to stick with you when everyone else won't.
Understand that friends come and go, but a precious few you should hold on to. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and gender, for as the older you get, the more you'll need somewhere to go and just relax.
Visit Hunter Street once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Visit Brookhills once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Accept certain inaliable truths... Daniel will have his palm pilot,and Ty Coffey will own Samford and Mike Williams will try to date Rebecca.When you get older, you'll fantacize that when you young, Daniel used an ink pen, Mike was meeting girls at Ropers and Ty was merely a Senator.
Respect Wookiee, Sybil and Jimmy, for they are your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to pay your bills.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a loaded roommate, but you'll never know when either one will run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you are 40 you will look like you are a minister at Valleydale.
Be careful where you buy your used cds and movies, but be patient with those who supply them.
Know that advice is a form of nostalgia.Dispensing it is a way of sharing your opinions without seeming like you are telling the other person what to do.Usually its recycled advice spoken for more than its worth.
Another long day, another late night and I dip into the computer archives to pull up a Random Email of Encouragement (I've still got about 80 of these never posted, so I might use one per week just to fill in). I was actually going to post something I found kinda funny (I have about 30 email ha-ha things that can be used... again, maybe once every few weeks...), and in fact did cut and paste it here, then started to type the intro by saying, "Its late, just got in from playing Phase 10 with the family..."
And then I remembered this little gem that actually takes place around a game of Phase 10, a delightful card game that lasts hours and hours, and I can thank Julie Haynes in Troy for introducing me too... and I myself am responsible for it sweeping through parts of Virginia, lower Alabama and much of other parts of the country...
It should be noted that this ever so slightly lifts a concept from Leonard Pitts in the Miami Herald, but his game of choice was basketball... everything else has been changed.
From March 19th, 2001...
Phase 10 with God
The following story is not true. But it could be.
So, the other night, Justin Glenn, The Lovely Steph Leann, Jennifer Pritchett, Sarah Hasha and myself were sitting around at The Deuce. We were about to play Phase 10, when God called. He said He was coming over, so we figured we would wait on Him to get there.
Finally, about 8:30, He comes in. He doesn't knock, but then, who really does?
“About time, Abba,” Sarah says, getting the cards off the coffee table and heading for the dining room.
“Sorry,” God replied. “I was attending to the prayers of the sick in New Delhi. That and they are doing construction on 65 again… quite annoying.” (fyi--just as a quick aside, when I re-read this, the first thing I thought of, now that its 2011, was "some stuff never changes")
We all sat down at the table, and I begin to deal. Now, its not widely known, but God is practically unstoppable at cards. Its easier when you know what’s coming, I guess. Justin gets his cards and grunts about how crappy his hand is, while Jennifer seems happier with hers. The Lovely Steph Leann comes out of the kitchen with her glass of water, picking up her cards as she sits.
God seemed happy with His hand. Yeah, the hand of God seemed pretty strong, I think. So, as we are playing, I ask God what He thinks about this Indian guy that is in the newspaper. God, while laying down His phase immediately, replies He hadn’t seen the paper today. Before New Delhi, it seems He was healing a cancer in Omaha. Busy man, He is.
I reach to the counter and hand Him today’s paper, showing Him the story. It seems this fellow named T. John, an official in the Indian province of Karnataka, was forced to resign his position over remarks he made in a speech to some students. Apparently he told them the recent earthquake was an act of revenge by God for attacks by Hindus on the country’s Christian minorities. The quake claimed about 12,000 lives.
“Wow, God,” Stephanie asked, laying down her first phase. “Is this true?”
God sighed, drawing the 7 card Steph just laid down. “Does T. John know anything about these 12,000 people, you think?” He put the 7 on his cards in front of Him, an 8 on Stephanie’s cards and went out. “Do you guys know? Can you tell me which ones persecuted Christians and which ones were Christians themselves? Or Muslims or Jews? Can you describe the ones who stole from the poor or mistreated children? Or can you describe the ones who gave bread to the hungry or read to the blind?”
“Of course not, God,” Jennifer replied, shuffling the cards. She turned to me, “Oh, I had 60 points.”
God replied, “I wouldn't expect you to, Jennifer. But I can. Those people didn't die for revenge.”
“They why…” I caught myself, remembering how hacked off he got with Job pestering Him with questions.
God just smiled. It was kind of neat, because when he did, a slight spring breeze came through the open window.
“I know, d$. You want a world without pain. A world without suffering and loss.”
“That would seem like a good idea, Father,” Justin replied.
“Tis true, Justin. A nice world that would be, but that would also be a world without healing, without joy and redemption. Each one gives meaning to the other.”
Jennifer began to deal the cards, as I announced that God and Stephanie were on phase 2, Justin, Jennifer, Sarah and I were on phase 1.
“So, teaching lessons isn't why you allow chaos and calamity to happen?” I asked.
“Now, I didn't say that, d$,” God picked up his cards. “I mean, I thought Chicago needed a shot of humility, so I gave them the Cubs.” He laid down His phase, three cards with the number 4 on them, and cards 7 through 11. “Adam Sandler movies are my way of saying ‘Support your local library’. I’m not above sending messages.”
“Well, if that’s the case,” Justin asked, picking up the 2 God discarded, “then why does this guy bother you so much?”
“See, its simple,” He said. “People like him irk Me because they are always quoting Me when I haven’t said anything to them. Always asserting their own petty motives to My name. They are forever putting My name on some moronic thing that has nothing to do with Me.”
The Lovely Steph Leann discarded a 3. God drew from the pile, placed a 9 on the phase Justin had laid down, and then went out. It's like He knew.
He continued, “It’s not just him, though. It’s the people who declare war claiming I told them to do it. Its that TV preacher who says send him money or I’ll kill him. It’s the crowd that says I sent AIDS as a judgement upon some of my children. It’s the ones who hate in My name.
“And the worst thing about it, is that the things I DO say, no one seems to pay attention. I tell you to take care of one another. I tell you to honor your parents. I tell you to stop stealing, killing and coveting. I tell you I love you.”
“But you said those things a long time ago. Maybe you need to say them again,” Sarah replied, dealing the cards.
“I say them everyday,” God smiled back. “I remind you every day. In sunrises and silences, in breezes and in smiles, , in your encouragement mails, d$, and in Justin’s praise and worship, in love and even in tears.
“What about Marilyn Manson?” The Lovely Steph Leann smiled. “Should you just get rid of him?”
“You’d be surprised, Steph,” God said as he picked up a card. “Just between us, I've got some plans for him. Don’t be surprised to see him in Heaven. Trust me.” He winked at The Lovely Steph Leann, who blushed.
“You know what the problem is?” He laid down phase three, then went out. “You people make so much noise, you hardly ever hear Me. You talk so much I can’t get a word in edgewise. You need to listen.”
I wrote down my 75 points. “What, God?”
“My point exactly,” He smiled back.
God won that night. He had five points, but that’s because Justin skipped Him and went out. Justin had a stomachache later that night.
Here's your chance to have some weekend reading during The Summer of Blogging...
Day Six... Its a recap of Days 1 to 5, so you can start from the beginning!
Day Seven... "A Review of Pirates and Mutants"... movie reviews on the newest Pirates film and X-Men First Class
Day Eight... "My Yard Goes Disney"... thoughts on the newest HGTV show, featuring people that have too much time on their hands
Day Nine... "Feelin' Funky"... A random email of encouragment from 2001, using Susan Ashton's "I Go Down" as a message for the power of prayer in poopy times
Day Ten... "The Best Show You've Never Heard"... Wondering what The Deucecast is? You'll find out by reading this post.
Day Eleven... B@d Movie Trio... Three terrible films that I watched so you don't have too
Next week on the Summer of Blogging... The Deuce Remembered... more of the best of 2010... and OJ Simpson...
Just got in from recording our podcast, The Deucecast, Episode X: On Stranger Podcasts. Have you heard our show? Then let me tell you about it, so you'll know...
So not too long ago, maybe March or something like that, Mikey sends me a text that simply says, "I think we should do a podcast. Call it the deucecast. what do u think?"
Immediately, I smiled... a podcast? A real, true life, on iTunes podcast? I was down with it, completely. Mikey is one of those guys that, when he is all in, he's all in. He's totally in. He's behind it a billion percent. And this idea had been perculating around his mind for a little while, to the point where he started prepping for it before he even asked me about it. Probably because... well, he' knew I'd be in.
After doing this website for just shy of six years now, I had been thinking of the next step, the next progression. Heck, I had decided a year or so ago that a podcast would be a great idea, one of my own where I could talk about what I want, having guests of all calibers to discuss and debate--don't know if it would have been interesting, but at least I would have enjoyed it.
Problem was, I knew nothing of a podcast. Nor did I have the equipment to even start with it. But Mikey... he had the equipment, or at least some of it. He needed me to kind of put a frame work on the show, maybe segments, games and so on. What we would talk about, do a "rundown" of sorts.
But how to get the show running, the techie stuff? Enter Tommy Mac and Shawn Sharp, who both have a great idea of how this stuff works.
Though Mikey was ready to do an hour plus show the first week, I knew we'd have to build. We met on a Wednesday night about a week or so after our initial conversation, and figured we'd put down some audio, talk about whatever, and that would be that... and after 90 minutes of playing with earphones, wires, sound levels, microphones, filters and so on, Mikey and I finally began to talk with Tommy and Shawn producing.
And it was dreadful. Part of the show is unintelligible due to a bad buzzing noise, the other part was just that we had no idea what exactly we were doing. I don't remember exactly what we talked about (I've never made it entirely through that particular episode on playback), but I do remember thinking that, "Well, that sucked... but it didn't suck as bad as it could have."
The next week rolled around, and this time, I actually brought "show notes", and a written "rundown". The rundown was just the flexible schedule we were going to go by, the show notes were typed out notes for my own use to get my own thoughts out a little easier.
Mikey's brother-in-law, and hubby to Mikey's sister Snipp, Matty, began listening from the beginning. Living in Chattanooga, he would email and text us both some thoughts and suggestions on making the show better... so it didn't take long before he became a "guest contributor", and then into a full fledged co-host.
So the three of us, Matty, Mikey and myselfy have hosted The Deucecast now for what was our 10th episode last night... well, thats 10, but we also did 4 "negative" episodes... meaning we took 4 weeks and did shows as a rehearsal of sorts.
You know how a big attraction at a theme park, or even a big store location has a grand opening, but before that, they do "soft openings" to work out the kinks? This was us. We took four weeks to work out the audio problems, to get our style down, to figure out segments that did and didn't work, games that needed redefining... and by Episode -1, we got it down. In fact, that is one of my personal favorite episodes!
We even called in some "guest contributors" like Hurricane Rhett and The Good Dr. Earl to come in every few weeks and add something different to the show. Perhaps Rhett's Rhants is one of our more popular segments, I'd say. We had best selling author Justin Fisher in-studio to discuss his book as well (and if you haven't read it, shame on you.... its great... book review coming soon enough) for our first in-studio interview.
So, you are asking, what's The Deucecast about? I'll admit, we aren't for everyone. Not that its bad language or anything, but some people (re: chicks) might find us dorky and boring... we talk about movies and music and celebrities and pop culture stuff for an hour every week. Mikey does a music segment where he brings up new music from sometimes obscure bands, and Matty and I make fun of him. Matt does a "smorgasbord" where he discusses whatever, though alot of times it revolves video gaming.
Seagal is all things to all people. And by "all people", I mean Matt Rector.
I do a bit called "Buried Treasure" and discuss movies that you may have forgotten, movies like "Boomerang" with Eddie Murphy, and wrestling film "Body Slam", and sometimes music, like Hootie's "Fairweather Johnson" CD.
There several in-studio games we rotate through from week to week, like "Name That Crap", where everyone has to name the song being played, usually something along the caliber of early Michael Bolton or Lisa Lisa & the Cult Jam... we do a game called "Faux or Show", where we discuss horrible television shows from the past... and a great little movie game that keeps us laughing and bewilders us about how much random crap we know.
We also do an homage every week to actor/lawman/activist/humanitarian/musician/jack of all trades/master of all trades Steven Seagal, mostly catering to Matt's possibly unhealthy obsession to the guy.
And in our "Roundtable", we just talk about whatever. Star Wars is a popular topic, as is Charlie Sheen and I like to discuss Amy Adams (whom I'm in love with), but we cover everything from topical headlines to books to anything else. Just a random free for all, almost like we are sitting in the living room just tossing stuff out there... cause thats actually what it is.
Overall, its a fun show. I think its funny, but again, its not for everyone. However, if you haven't listened to it at all, take a listen.
You can find the website at http://www.thedeucecast.com/ and listen there, or go to iTunes and search for "The Deucecast".
So, before you write us off, give it a listen. When you find out we are actually unfunny hacks who just laugh at our own inanity for an hour a week, then you can write us off. But you have to listen to a show first. Heck, even Amarylis by Morning (up from san antone) thinks we are hacks--but thanks anyway to Painted By U for being a sponsor.
Okay, well, they arent really a sponsor, and legally, our show and her business have nothing to do with each other, and anything we say and do are not representative of the views and opinions of her or her business in any way (and vice versa), but if we DID have a pottery paintin' sponsor, Painted By U would totally be it, and if Painted By U wanted to sponsor a podcast, then... The Deucecast is it! (summer of blogging, day 10)
So, on Wednesdays, I typically work from really, really early in the morning to mid-afternoon, and when I come home, I immediately sit down at the computer and start writing up a rundown and show notes for The Deucecast...
The Deucecast is our podcast, and by "our" I mean my buddy Mikey and Matty, Tommy Mac and Shawn. We've also had Hurricane Rhett in studio, JustFish to promote his new book and The Good Doctor Earl... and so, today, like every Wednesday, I began typing up what would be our 9th episode, "At Podcast's End".
Two hours later, I was satisfied with what we had, having already emailed Mikey and Matty the details, gotten some feedback from them on a few changes and had a finished couple of documents. Glancing at the clock, its a little past five, so its time to finally get upstairs, change out of my coffee makin' gear and put on my not workin' gear and head out for a meeting at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship).
I walk up the steps, not paying much attention to anything, and about six steps in, I notice something drastically different. Its hot. Like, its really, really hot. Like a wall of heat I just stepped through, or ascended into, it was horrible.
The Cabana sports two AC units, one for upstairs and one for downstairs, and the thermostat for the top floor is at the top of the steps... it reads a nice, breezy 85 degrees. Like someone who opens the hood an jiggles a wire when their car won't start, then expecting it to just fire right up, I push a few buttons expecting the air to kick right on... aaaaaand... it doesn't. The thermostat is set on 74, the temp just rose to 86.
And I'm already sweating.
Long story short, some very dear friends of ours recommended someone they knew and used for their AC work--I wont say who the friends were nor who they recommended, not because I dont want to talk about them, but because I don't know if they's appreciate me telling the world who "their guy" is. But... our friends are rock stars and awesome, and The AC Guy is turning out to be quite a find himself.
My father in law, Big Daddy Ron, and Bro in Law Tyler stopped by first to look at the issue--Big Daddy Ron has built a few homes pretty much by hand, so I trust his judgement. However, there wasn't much he could do but try a diagnosis.
When The AC Guy arrived, who by the way was a rock star for even coming to our home at 8pm at night, he did a deeper diagnosis... turns out Big Daddy Ron wasn't too far off base, and myself and The AC Guy found the real problem...
There was water dripping from too much condensation, cause it to fill up the drip overflow pan, which shut the AC unit off for safety issues. Thankfully, the motor is still in good shape, the compressor still works and it seems to be a little cloggy drainage issue... we hope. We hope.
Apparently, some of the parts and labor is under warranty still... but it looks like our issue is not. The important part is, its cooling off right now. I went upstairs a few minutes ago, and it the temperature is around 79 or so, which is considerably better than where it had gotten.
The joys of being a homeowner. Can't wait til we need a plumber.
For anyone who knew me in The Deuce days, watching "Grown Ups" this past weekend made me think of one thing... this movie is what Deuce: The Movie would be if Deuce: The Movie was in fact a movie.
However, Sandler can still be funny. And when you throw in the likes of David Spade(who, let's face it, hasn't had a truly funny movie since the Farley days), Chris Rock(hasn't truly been funny in a real movie since "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"), Rob Schneider(aside from the random funny cameos in most Sandler movies, he was last seen being funny in... in... well, The Lovely Steph Leann liked 'The Hot Chick"--a movie that I dug not for Schneider, but for Anna Faris and Rachel McAdams) and Kevin James(who was truly charming in "Paul Blart", was the funniest part of "Chuck & Larry" and truly held his own with Will Smith in "Hitch"), you have got the potential to have a pretty funny movie. And for the most part, "Grown Ups" delivers what you would expect.
Its a movie that features a group of guys who were friends back in the day, all playing on a middle school (back then it was "junior high") basketball team that won the championship... they grow up and lose touch, but are all called back together when their coach passes away. They end up spending the 4th of July long weekend together, with Sandler playing Lenny, a successful Hollywood agent, married to Roxanne (Salma Hayek) with three completely spoiled brat kids. Kevin James is Eric, married to Sally (an incredibly good looking Maria Bello) with a couple of problem kids of their own, including a 48 month old son who still likes to nurse... from mom. Yes, that's 4 years old.
Rob Schneider is Rob, and marries a woman 30 years his elder, which makes for a running gag that eventually gets tiresome, while David Spade is Marcus, a player who never got married and still chases women. Finally, Chris Rock is Token homemaker Kurt, married to the bacon-bringer-homer and very pregnant Deanne (Maya Rudolph), with a few kids of their own.
What follows in the course of the hour and forty five is a series of vignette-like scenes that carry the group through the weekend as they catch up, learn about family and friendship and say lots of innuendos and poopy farty jokes along the way. You know, its five guys. They do run into the grown up versions of the kids they beat on the championship team back in the day, allowing for fellow SNL alums Colin Quinn and Tim Meadows to make appearances, as well as Steve Buscemi, who looks like he's playing his squirrely bug-eyed look to the hilt.
Some jokes are funny, some fall flat, but you just have to be into this kind of a buddy-reunion movie to enjoy a film like this. Having lived with three other guys who paid rent and like, seven other guys that didn't, all at the same time, I could relate to this film in terms of how people change, the direction that life takes for some... though I cannot fathom being that close to your homeboys, and then having no contact with them for 30 years. That's just... well, maybe I'm being idealistic, but that's almost unreasonable.
I almost feel like this could be Shawn, Big Tom, Mikey, myself and Tommy Mac in a few years. Or Wookiee. Or Drewski. Or, if you are thinking Chris Rock, it could be The Hall--though I would think if we reunited for a coach's death, it would be for The Hall's funeral. Then again, I don't fish... Just sayin'.
The language is fair, not too bad, and with the exception of Maria Bello's booby coming out for a nursing scene (without showing anything, by the way) there's nothing really bad in this film.
Don't expect to see "Billy Madison" all over again... if you can wait until the Ghetto Theater for a Buck, do so. If you just have to see it now, take a matinee, otherwise catch it on a rental in probably September or October.
By the way... the soundtrack is absolutely fantastic... REO Speedwagon... J Geils... Journey (something other than "Don't Stop Believin'", for once)... Jefferson Starship... The Kinks... Eddie Money's "Two Tickets to Paradise", one of my 100 favorite songs of all time... and Bob Welch's "Sentimental Lady", which Chris Rock's character declares to be, somewhat correctly, "the whitest song in history"... oh, and one more song that's in the movie, but not on the soundtrack...
That's Bob Seger's "Rock and Roll Never Forgets". Bob Seger, what the crap, yo? First, let's be honest, you rock. "Shakedown" from "Beverly Hills Cop II", rocks. "Hollywood Nights" rocks. "Still the Same", "Turn the Page", "We Got Tonight"... they all rock. And so does this awesome song called "Rock and Roll Never Forgets". And you can't find it on iTunes.
If you are Garth Brooks or The Beatles, who have catalogs that are both infamous for not being available, then I can understand. Why sell on iTunes, you got a bajillion dollars anyway. But Bob Seger? Seriously, dude. Open up that catalog. I don't want "Greatest Hits Volume 2", I want that one song.
Sometimes I just have random stuff to say, and Coffee Drinker Mindy D'A is always quick to tell me these posts are her favorites...
As the figure skating comes out, someway, somehow, at least once during the night I will shout (sometimes to The Lovely Steph Leann's annoyance) "Toe Pick!" in a high, shrill voice, just like that "Cutting Edge" movie.
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When I see figure skating pairs, I'm convinced that the two are romantically involved... but I'm equally as convinced the guy is gay. How does that skating paradox work?...
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So... men's figure skaters. Is is a shirt? Is it a blouse? Is there a difference in the two?
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In that contest where you can win a trip to the Olympics for the rest of your life, I'm picturing every executive on the edge of their seats when the winner is drawn... "What? He's 88 years old? Whew! That would have totally been crappy if some 27 year old won this thing!"
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After years of announcing the Olympics, Bob Costas must know more random, useless geography facts than anyone in the history of the world. "And here comes the Dutch team. Of course, we know that the Dutch town of Leeuwarden can be spelled 225 different ways..."
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We were having dinner at The Campbell Home a few nights ago, and The Lovely Steph Leann noticed in a Wal-Mart flier that "The Biggest Loser" for the Wii game was on sale for $29.99. I just happened to have a $30 Wal-Mart gift card burning a hole in my pocket, so a few days later, I purchased it. The next night, I pointed it out to her, told her that I thought she might like it, we could do it together and so forth. And what did we do later that night? You guessed it.
Sat on the couch, ate Girl Scout cookies and watched television, Wii game still in the wrapper on the end table.
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My latest "Crappy Movie With Mikey" movie was "Law Abiding Citizen". This film stars Gerard Butler as Clyde Shelton, a man who watches his family get senselessly murdered in a robbery, then watches the leader of the crime roll over on the not-as-violent partner and essentially get off on a technicality. Years later, he sets out to get revenge on everyone who allowed this to happen. Jamie Foxx portrays Nick Rice, the fledgling district attorney who is trying to stop him from killing more people.
The first part of the movie is intriguing... a man set on vengeance for the slaughter of his family, he's in prison, yet how is he still getting these assassinations completed? The game is afoot. The second half of the film, when Clyde's resources and back story is revealed, sort of... well, completely falls apart. It goes from a "What would I do in this situation? Would I want revenge too" kind of thinking movie to a "Wow. That's kind of a stretch. Wow, now that is really a stretch. Wow, that's kind of ridiculous" kind of thinking movie.
Its full of violence and F-Bombs, and really, its 2 hours that you could spent elsewhere, unless you are just jonesing to see this movie or Gerard Butler. It does have a really cool death, though, involving a cell phone and a judge.
And what happened to Gerard Butler, anyway? Remember him in "300"? He was this awesome dude that was in "Phantom of the Opera", and he was this guy that we all just knew was going to have a rockin' big career full of action flicks and great starring roles... and then he did "P.S. I Love You"... and then he did "The Ugly Truth"... and then he did "Nim's Island"... really, Gerard? Really?
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Ever seen the movie "Creepshow"? Its not a terrible film, its meant to be a little schlocky and campy--its a series of vignettes from a horror comic book, with the screenplay written by Stephen King. My favorite of the stories is entitled "Something to Tide You Over", and it features Leslie Nielsen (!) as a bad guy who, at least in the beginning, gets the best of Ted Danson and his woman.
The most disturbing of all of the shorts, however, is the last one, called "They're Creeping Up On You". Essentially, a mean, bad man who suffers from Mysophobia and lives in a sealed off, germ-free apartment has a problem with roaches. A very, very big problem.
Though in now-over 2 years at The Cabana, I have yet to see a roach, we'd routinely see them at The Deuce. Its not that our apartment was dirty (stop laughing), but in the neighborhood, plus with the roommates and the rest of the world visiting, it happens. Even then, though, when I saw a cockroach in The Deuce, I could get it sometimes... other times, it would escape behind behind something and disappears. So I'd go to bed, knowing that cockroach was alive and well, sometimes in my room. And, thinking back to "Creepshow", I just knew that that stupid roach was talking with talking with 4,000 of his children and friends, making plans for a revolution. Viva la 'cacaroacha!
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When I go onto the iTunes store, I look at the section that says "Recommendations For You". I'm assuming iTunes bases this on music I've listened to recently, and maybe listen to on a regular basis. This time around? They recommend the soundtrack to "Kung Fu Panda", albums by Madonna, The Police, and They Might Be Giants and singles by Taylor Swift, the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Julie Andrews, The Kinks and some guy named Marco Marnengeli. So not only am I actually 14 years old, I'm apparently living in 1986.
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If you actually punched some random guy after seeing one of those new Volkswagens, chances are you'd get punched back, regardless of the color.
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Anyone remember Gatorade Fruit Punch, or Grape, or Lemon Lime? Life was easy then. Now its all kind of weird flavors and concoctions like G2 and Elite and Mountain Blast and Shock & Awe. I miss Fruit Punch.
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Along that same lines, anyone remember when The Prevue Channel existed? Covering most of the screen, it did nothing but scroll what was on every other channel... and when nothing was on TV, you left it on The Prevue Channel--for hours at a time. It would show commercials and trailers for movies coming on HBO and network television, but it was great background noise.
Says EW.com.... It's TV more hypnotizing than Peter Jennings' baritone. More riveting than bouncing Baywatch body parts. It's the Prevue Channel -- that excruciatingly slow scroll that lists what's on the tube's every channel. All My Children... Tennis...Pictionary...and on and on. Some folks tune in for actual information -- and tear their hair out with impatience. Me, I like the Prevue Channel as a mesmerizing end in itself -- my own electronic lava lamp. I savor the endless, repetitive looping. The fun bubbles of red that denote premium channels. The cryptic, haiku-like movie descriptions. (''Deconstructing Harry: A prominent author is plagued with writer's block and numerous personal problems.'') But my favorite moment has to be when the Prevue Channel scrolls by the listing for the Prevue Channel itself, and I learn that I am watching... previews. What a gorgeously self-referential moment! What a brilliant metaphor for our onanistic media culture! -- from 1998
Now? We have The TV Guide channel, and I can't watch it. The scrolling part--which is why you'd turn it on the TV Guide channel in the first place--takes about 1/4 of the screen, showing maybe 3 or 4 shows at a time. Then, they've got their own programming, plus they show other channel's shows, so you end up getting caught up in this girl who's makeover is going to have her end up looking like Reese Witherspoon, even though she looks, and will look, nothing like Reese Witherspoon, you watch anyway, and then you realize you were waiting to see what was on TNT, and you realize you just missed it, and you have to wait for it to scroll again...
Or you can just pick up your remote and use the guide function and look to see what time "Law & Order" comes on. I can answer that, though... probably 10am, 2pm, 3pm, 7pm and 9pm. That's just a guess.
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When you are trying to merge in front of me, you have about 2 or 3 seconds to do so. Then, I'm moving up, cause I got stuff to do. Hey! Don't merge in front of me now, you had your chance, so back off.
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Dear seatbelt... please note the difference between "about to hit a brick wall head-on" and "trying to adjust in my seat".
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For that matter, Dear Automatic Flushing Toilet... please note the difference between "I'm done here" and "trying to adjust in my seat". That water is cold.
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So, Vera Farmiga. She's one of the two lead actresses in "Up in the Air"... I say "lead", even though she and Anna Kendrick are both nominated for an Academy Award for Supporting Actress. I loved this film, every single minute of it, and though its rare for me to feel this way, I would have been happy with a few more minutes.
It tells the story of Ryan Bingham, played by also-nominated George Clooney, who's job is to travel all over the country and be the mediator when a company wants to lay people off. Natalie (Kendrick) is a new recruit who's developed a system of eliminating the travel--firing via satellite. Bingham convinces their boss (a great Jason Bateman) that Natalie needs to learn how its really done, so she's sent with him across the country to teach her how to do it face-to-face.
Along the way, Ryan keeps running into Alex (Vermiga), who is another frequent flier, and they develop a relationship in hotel rooms and where ever they can find a place... but of course, there might be real feelings there after a while. Jason Reitman, director of "Juno", wrote and directed this flick.
On December 29th, 2009, I realized I had not seen this film, and wanted to get it in before 2010 began, mostly so I could include it The 100 Coolest Things of 2009 (and its on the list, high up). The only night available that week? New Year's Eve. So, sometime later in the evening, with no particular New Year's Eve plans (remember when what you were doing for New Year's Eve was a big deal? Like, you had plans for weeks of who's house to be at during the stroke of midnight, or when you were single, who you'd be with or hope to be with, or maybe you'd have the big bash at your house, hoping all your friends would come over, and maybe, just maybe The Official Clouds in My Coffee Troy State Crush Tiffany Abbott would show up and... where was I? Yeah...) we figured, why not go see the film.
It was a 2+ hour movie, with a start time of 10pm, and much to our delight, the theater was empty. Completely empty. We kicked back, threw our feet up and enjoyed being able to talk louder... until someone walked in, a woman who came in and sat about four rows ahead of us, all by herself. Don't know how it happened, who knows how stuff like this happens, but The Lovely Steph Leann and I ended up chatting with her, and finally, I said, "...you're Andrea Lindenberg... NBC, right?" She said, "Yeah, that's me!" and I shared with her that I worked there for a while, and we chatted about that and so on.
It seems that Andrea's kids were seeing something else, but she didn't want to see it so she came in here. The movie began, and about 2 hours later, I looked at my watch and said aloud, "Happy New Year" to chuckles from the woman four rows ahead of me and the woman to my left.
Back to the movie... it does have language, and one seen where you see a nude woman's back, but that's it... and yeah, I loved it. I am eager to see it again when it hopefully comes to the Ghetto Theater here in town. Not only did it have airplanes and airports, which I strangely am fascinated with, it had George Clooney, who like Brad Pitt, I contend if given the right material is a phenomenal actor, it had the cutie-patootie Anna Kendrick, who was the only thing that kept me alive during the movie "Twilight", it had great writing, it had likable, if not sympathetic characters, it featured appearances from the cool voiced Sam Elliott, the comedic Danny McBride, the always awesome JK Simmons, "The Hangover"'s Zach Galifianakis and the I-am-strangely-enthralled-with Melanie Lynskey, and... it had Vera Farmiga.
So, Vera Farmiga. I think I'm categorizing her with Jennifer Garner and applying the McGriddle Effect. I cannot decide if Vera is drop dead gorgeous or just pretty at all. There really is no in-between.
Alright. Gotta go to The Happiest Place in the Mall.
It's been a few days weeks since I last worked on this particular list, but since its now officially mid-February, I figured I'd better get a move on. Here's the next ten on The 100 Coolest Things of 2009...
70... Pastor Calvin I've been attending Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) since 1998. I first went to service at the Larnelle Harris Christmas Concert, and then soon after, in January of 1999, I was baptized. It was this time frame that I got to meet Pastor Calvin Kelly, who, this past fall, celebrated 25 years at the church.
Through the going on 12 years I've been attending the church, I've seen people come and go (and come back), I've seen staff members come and go (and come back), I've watched my WalkAbout kids come into middle school, get to high school, graduate and even get married, and I've seen the entire church uproot and move a mile down the road. I've seen both of Pastor Calvin's daughters graduate (and even went out with one of them once) and get married, and watched my dear Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) through its ups and downs. Through it all, there has been one main earthly constant, and that's the pastor of the church.
I haven't always agreed with our church. Sometimes I question its direction, and even go so far as to... well, you know, ask. Imagine that. But I know that there is a backbone of Godly staff behind our church, and at its helm, our pastor. And in that, I rest my hope in our church. Thanks Pastor Calvin.
69... "My Life in Ruins" What a silly little movie, really.
Starring Nia Vardalos, my favorite Greek born actress... well, okay, she was born in Canada, but go with this, okay? Anyway, in the years since "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", a movie high in The Dave100, she's not fared so well with her career. She only managed 7 episodes of "My Big Fat Greek Life" on CBS before it was pulled, and then co-starred with Toni Collette in the what-seemed-disasterous "Connie & Carla"(I say "seemed" because I have never seen it, and don't intend to change that) and managed a few guest spots in the TBS series "My Boys". She even had a bomb, her directorial debut, called "I Hate Valentine's Day", not to be confused with the current "Valentine's Day" film.
And then came her latest film, "My Life in Ruins", which I saw in June of 2009. And really, it kinda bombed too, so her losing streak continues... but here's what I had to say about this movie when I wrote about it last summer...
I had a feeling this would be a movie I would enjoy, but I didn’t realize I would like it as much as I did. I loved it. It’s not perfect, its flawed, and let’s be honest, this is a blip on the radar screen of the summer movies. It spent about two weeks in the big theaters, and I saw it today on the dollar screen…
Nia plays Georgia, a tour guide for a small company that gives week long tours in Greece. She loves the history, she loves the architecture and she loves Greece, but she struggles with being entertaining to a group of tourists, some American, some British, some Australian and some just old and annoying. Her co-worker, Niko, does everything he can to appeal not only to his group, but Georgia’s group as well, being funny, buying them food, skipping the boring history to go shopping and so on.
The movie is about a week in Georgia’s life, and how she figures it out… through a number of sources, including an excellent Richard Dreyfuss playing the typically loudmouth funny old guy, “Irv” and a bus driver who takes a liking to her--a bus driver who's name is pronounced "Poopy Cacas"
The movie is a bit long, and towards the end I was hoping it would come to a conclusion… and finally, it does. “My Life in Ruins” is light, its breezy, its fun and Nia Vardalos is her beautiful, real self.
The Lovely Steph Leann and I watched it again the other night, via Netflix, and I think I enjoyed it more, and entered the "I'm probably going to buy that movie once it goes down to like, $9.99 or less, because I know it will" phase in my mind. Loved it.
68... The Chipotle Mexican Grill This one finished 38th on last year's list, but don't let the drop of 30 spots make you think I enjoy it any less. Perhaps I enjoy it more, and because of that, it was worth a second mention...
I always get the same thing--thats how I am, I like something, I go with it, because I don't want to spend good money on something I'm not sure I'd like when I could have spent that money on something I know I'd like. Hence, getting the carnitas on January 25th, 2009, the last time I deviated from my beloved three soft tacos, no salsa, extra cheese, extra sour cream, bag o'chips and a small Pibb Xtra. Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Simply put, a group of actors are filming a war film, and are unwittingly dropped into the jungle to be filmed in "real life", but there is so much more to this movie. Its raw, its bawdy and the language is terrible. But the movie is hysterical.
Probably the most memorable parts are RDJ as Kirk Lazarus, an actor so devoted to method-acting he has "pigment alteration" to darken his skin in order to more effectively portray a black character--and he never breaks character, taking in a very un-PC accent. The other is Tom Cruise, now at that point in his career when he can take roles like this--he wears a fat suit and is Les Grossman, a foul-mouthed, comb over bald studio exec that steals every scene he's in. Its Rated R for obvious reasons (language).
From the opening song, "I Won't" to the final track, "Breakin' at the Cracks", and everything in between, its like you can imagine Colbie just strumming on a guitar, sitting on a stool, singing her songs. I almost feel like she could have performed at The Deuce back in the day (though I guess in 2001 she might have been underaged... hmm...).
Her biggest hit from the album has been "Fallin' For You", which is such a fun song to hear and sing along to. The video? I ranked it as my 20th favorite video in the as yet unfinished Top 20 Videos of the Decade.
65... ESPN College Football I love college football. I get all in a tizzy and like a little schoolboy when it finally comes on in August, and I grieve like I lost my puppy when it ends in January.
I worked on my 2009 Coolest List for a few months, adding stuff to it all along, and somehow, this was ranked 65th. I'm not sure if there is a specific reason, or just in general... but yay for college football and especially ESPN College Football Gameday!
64... Christian Brothers Auto Here's what I know about this particular mechanic shop... its owned/operated by a guy named Brandon, who goes to Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), they have a Honda specialist that owns some of his own Honda equipment (which works for me with Toni Rocki Honda and The Lovely Steph Leann with Isadora, her own Honda Accord), they are reasonably priced and they have the word "Christian" in the name.
Car trouble is something I'm pretty familiar with, and finding a good mechanic that you can talk to and trust is like finding someone to get your hair did... once you find them, you do your best to stay there. Let's be real... just because the word "Christian" is in the name doesn't automatically make them great mechanics--but by putting that word in their name, they suddenly have something to live up to, almost purposely putting themselves under a higher standard to meet. You get bad service at Mr. Goodwrench, you complain and go elsewhere. You get bad service at Christian Brothers Auto, and you not only complain, you say things like, "Well, they are supposed to be a 'Christian' place, I see how that is," which is pretty devestating to a witness.
Either way, they've been great to me thusfar, they are always packed out, and when I can get in, its the source for all my oil repairs and major fixes. You can visit their website here, or give them a call at 205-987-6620. Oh, and their courtesy shuttle is a sweet, sweet ride.
63... "Native Tongue" by Carl Hiassen Sez me on November 13th: And finally, here's one I just finished. "Native Tongue" by Carl Hiaasen doesn't deviate, plot set-up anyway, from most of his other books. Hiaasen has lots of colorful characters he spreads out through the book, and you know somehow, someway, they are all going to cross paths at one point or another in a crucial plot point. And, like just about all of his other books (might be all of them--I have only read four), the story takes place in Florida.
This one actually takes place close to Key Largo, at a Disney rip-off called The Amazing Kingdom of Thrills, and it involves steroid taking security guards, gun shooting baboons, mafia witnesses, mob hits, a professional golfer, a chick who plays Robby Raccoon, a former governor of Florida living in the woods wearing a panther tracking collar, a chick who writes poetry for a phone sex line, and a protagonist who was hired because he writes great press releases. Oh, and it centers around two rat-like creatures who may or may not be extinct--or actually exist, stolen by two burglers who may or may not be complete fools. The book is funny, its fast paced, it does have lots of language, and was a breezy read.
62... "I Love You, Man" Sez me on May 28th: As for "I Love You Man", it was funny enough. Not awesome, not terrible, but good for some good laughs. Great moments, Paul Rudd's delivery is solid as always, and Jason Segel is someone I could get used to laughing at. The appearance of Jon Favreau was a welcome sight, too, as it always is. And somehow, the character playing Zoe, Paul Rudd's fiance, got hotter as the movie went on. Found out later it was Rashida Jones, the daughter of Quincy Jones. Not a clue.
Upon seeing it again, I can honestly say Paul Rudd is becoming one of my favorite actors, and this movie is downright funny. Rated R for language.
61... "Heartless" by Kris Allen Once again, one of those Idol performances that I'll remember for a very, very long time. Sez me on May 12th: The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen is singing Kanye West's "Heartless". This should be a hoot...
Now THIS... rocks. Strumming with the guitar, it reminds me of a John Mayer cover of a hip hop song... or when Derrick Harris covered "Baby One More Time" on guitar at A Very Deuce Christmas Party in 2000... I think Factor 7 performed too, but don't remember, but seriously... this is awesome.
And this will do what few songs will do... make me go to iTunes and download the song. And I might, tomorrow, do what I've NEVER done in all these years of Idol blogging... go and download the performance version. I didn't do that with Ruben, nor McPheever, nor Pickles (I love Pickles!) nor Carrie nor anyone else. But I just might with this one.
By the way.. I did. While the acoustic version is better, its still great.
Coming up... Eating a lamb burger... Timberlake loves his mother... and later, the best picture of the entire year...
