Red Robin (and other thoughts)

Four Random Thoughts

1. Melanie Names a Car
After purchasing the KIA Soul on Friday night, I was able to drive it off the lot... I love love love driving this car, no stinkin' joke.  Its such a great ride.  The issue was that Toni Rocki Honda was still sitting the garage of The Cabana. 

Red Robin's front end

The Lovely Steph Leann had a Creative Memories Open House on Saturday--by the way, have you seen the books that The Lovely Steph Leann does?  You give her pictures and an idea of what you want, she creates this incredible yearbook type book with your pics and your notes and memories.  Her email is StephDollarCM@gmail.com, so make sure you let her know you need her services....

...So, she was out of pocket.  I call upon someone who is always willing to help, that would be Melanie Z.  She agrees to drive with me out to Center Point to drop off Toni Rocki Honda, and get a few of my questions answered, that being "Where is the hood propper upper?", "Can I get some washer fluid?" and "The owners manual shows you need a special KIA adapter for the iPod auxiliary jack, so I need to get one of those."

Melanie Z and her oldest, Jay Z, arrive, and they both love the KIA Soul.  I give Melanie Z the directions to Serra KIA "Up 280, down 459, back on 59, right on Roebuck Parkway which becomes Center Point Parkway..." then I ask her, "Do you want to drive the Honda?"  The fact that she stared at me with a "Are you freakin' kidding me?" look and then proceeded to get into the vehicle itself told me that she was, in fact, driving the KIA Soul.  Then I called out, "Hey Jay Z, you wanna ride with me?" which was also answered by the fact he jumped into the passenger seat of the Soul.  Melanie Z laughed and said, "Uh... what do you think he wants to do?"

Red Robin's back end

We drive out to Center Point, and I get my questions answered, that being "the propper upper is on the underside of the hood, not the engine", "parts department is closed" and "no problem, we will get it ordered for you".  I gave over the key to Toni Rocki Honda to an older guy named David, and that was that.  I nodded my goodbye to Toni Rocki, and walked back to the KIA Soul, with Melanie Z still sitting in the driver's seat.

"Alright, time to go," says me.
"Okay, hop in," Melanie Z replies.
"Um..." I start, waiting for her to get out of the drivers seat. "You like the car?  Like driving the car?"
"Yeah, I love it!" she laughs.  "So, get in."
"I'm driving, Melanie," I say.
"Fine," she grunts.  As Jay Z starts to say, "Mom!  I'm riding in front!" Melanie Z cuts him off... "Get in the backseat!"
"Mooooom!!!!' he stammers, as he gets out and climbs in the back.

By the way, the KIA Soul didn't have a name yet... The Honda was, as I've oft mentioned, Toni Rocki Honda, named for a combination of Toni Braxton and Pulp Fiction, and the Mercury Sable before it was my 1999 Pezochit, named because it was... well, you get it.

I share this with Melanie Z on the way back, and how I had mentioned to The Lovely Steph Leann that I thought of "The Hamster", for the commericals... though I wasn't sold on calling my car "Hamster" for the next four or five years.  She pops up with, "What about... Red Robin?  You know, like the burger place.  Reeeeeed Robin!" 

And as soon as she says it, it clicks.  Red Robin it is.

2.  d$ Gets a Seatbelt
I guess I should share one last Toni Rocki Honda story.

On the way back from Starbucks last week, after working a 12 hour day and doing Christmas set up, which is always a major undertaking, I just wanted to get home.  I had my iPod, hooked onto my belt, and was just finishing Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince (I zipped through Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows in the weeks leading up to the movie) and while driving, I was a bit irritated by the way the seatbelt buckle was sitting on the iPod on my waist.

First... I don't always wear my seatbelt.  Well, I didn't always wear it, now I do, but that's later.  I know, I know, you can give me a hundred stories of people who didn't want to wear their seatbelts and are now dead, paralyzed or have killer hangnails because of it.  I get it, its safety, its secure, its nothing you can tell me that The Lovely Steph Leann doesn't tell me a thousand times.  Cause she loves me, that one does.

So, I get it, don't innundate me reasons why I should always wear my seatbelt.

Anyway, that night, I WAS wearing it.  I pulled up to the red light, in the double turn lane from Hwy 280 to turn onto Valleydale Road.  I unbuckled my seatbelt, tossed off my shoulder strap, and then took the iPod off my belt, and placed it in the console.  I didn't see the police cruiser pull up beside me.

The light turned green, so I moved forward, and didn't buckle the belt.  I chose to wait until I was out of the turn of the major intersection, and when I was moving forward, straight onto Valleydale Road, I buckled my belt again... and thats when I saw the blue lights behind me. 

I quickly glanced down at my speedometer, and I was going about 35 in the 45, because I was still accelerating.  I thought quickly to things that had derailed me before, including my tag (it was fine), my license (I had it renewed three months ago) and any outstanding tickets (none, thankfully). 

There was a car ahead of me who I saw had immediately applied the brake lights.  The car turned onto  Inverness Center Drive, which is the road you travel down about a half mile to get to my subdivision, and I follwed.  The police pulled behind me, and as I pulled over, the cop did as well.  The car ahead of me floored it, and zoomed away.  I would have done the same.

I grabbed my license out of my pocket, and placed it on the dash.  The bright spotlight behind me kept me from seeing the officer approaching my car.  He shone his flashlight in my car, in my face, and asked for my license.  I reached up on the dash and handed it to him.

"Mr. d$, I don't know if you just put that belt on or what, but when I pulled up beside you, you didn't have it on."
"Yes sir," I sighed.  I opened my mouth to tell him that I had it on, and I had taken it off for a second, just long enough for him to pull up and see me with out it on, but I figured that's just like a speeder saying that he'd done the speed limit except for those 100 yards when he was doing 70. 
"Don't know if you were aware of it, but there was a major accident in Chelsea this weekend where three people were killed... two of them wasn't wearing their seatbelts, Mr d$."
"I didn't know that sir," I sighed.  Again, I opened my mouth to say something smart like, "Well was the third person wearing their seatbelt", but quickly closed it again.
"Can I see your insurance information?"
"Yes sir, its in my console here," I said, turning around and opening up the middle compartment, pulling out the little piece of paper and handing it to the officer.

He walked away and I just sat there waiting, in silence.  The officer came back, handing me a ticket, telling me that I had until December 15th to pay it... in Columbiana.  Its already been documented that I'm not a fan of The Glorious Road to Colombiana, so I had a feeling I would be sending this in, either by mail or online.  I asked him how much the ticket is, and he said, "Well, I know it was $10, but I think they recently raised it to $31". 

Of course they did.

So I got my ticket and drove about 200 feet to my subdivision's entrance. 

By the way, I totally wear my seatbelt now, in Red Robin, if for no other reason than that ding ding ding ding noise is really annoying when you start the car and don't buckle in.

3. The Laptop Gets a Cold
My laptop is down.  I'm using The Lovely Steph Leann's own laptop, and am cool with it for now, except I can't update my iPod, which is maddening. 

I've gone through three audiobooks--Harry Potter 5, 6 and 7--and have doubled back and am now listening to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkibahn.  Its a little strange, though, because I just got done hearing about the heroics of Sirius Black and how Harry dominates the Dementors, and in this book, Sirius is the villian and Harry cowers in front of the Azkibahn guards.

I hope my laptop gets better.  I really want to hear my podcasts.

4.  Starz Gets Some Color
Here's what I love about the channel Starz in Black... if you make a film that has like, one black dude in the background, your film is eligible for appearing on Starz in Black.  Right now, the Bruce Willis movie "Surrogates" is on.  There aren't a whole lot of black people in this film.  Coming up later tonight, a movie called "Beyond a Reasonable Doubt", starring Jesse Metcalfe, Amber Tamblyn and Michael Douglas, three very white people.  Seems like Orlando Jones is representin'...

Of course, also coming up later, is a movie called "Life is Hot in Cracktown", and judging from the cast list, they are overcompensating.

Just Don't Tell Dave Ramsey

Toni Rocki Honda is showing her age. I guess its expected, as she's fifteen years old now--I've only had over a little over 2 years, and she's only got 123K on her, but at fifteen, part after part is needing to be replaced, little by little, she's costing us a fortune.

My air conditioner went out on me in late August, as I was driving home to Samson for the day. It was working fine until I got to somewhere past Clanton. I stopped at a Hardee's, and after getting my food and getting back in, I heard a small pop of some sort when I started the car. And suddenly, Toni Rocki Honda was just blowing... air. Not cold air. Not cool air. Just air.

Its going to cost close to a grand to get everything fixed in the air, the compressor, the hoses and belts, whatever else. So The Lovely Steph Leann and I have gone back and forth--do we get it fixed, and then hope nothing else breaks, or do we make a plunge and go ahead and get something else... I've never had a new car. Matter of fact, every car I've owned has been nothing but a mechanic's dream--lots of maintenance. I feel like I've had not just a lemon, but a grove.  A new car?  Wow, that would be amazing.

Anyway, the Mizzus was in Pensacola Thursday night, for work, her time of the month. For the trip, I mean. So I headed on my own to do some reconnaissance work at two places we had discussed... the local Kia dealership and the local Hyundai. I know, I know, there are some people out there now that who hear the word "KIA" and "HYUNDAI" and shiver, and automatically think I'm in the welfare line... they give me the guv'mint Land O'Lakes, the guv'mint Kraft slices and the guv'mint Honda... and ten years ago, absolutely.

I remember some retreat I was involved in around 99 or 2000, and the speaker told a joke that a KIA Sportage is a combo of "Sports" and "Garbage".... but I did some looking on the interweb and it seems that both cars are much more reliable now. Plus, I know people who have newer models of both, and they love them.

So I stopped at Riverchase KIA over on Highway 31, and walked around. After a few minutes, a pleasant guy named Ken came out, shook my hand, and we chatted for a while. He wasn't pushy, he wasn't invasive, he built up KIA while not trashing other brands, telling me that Hondas and Hyundais are good cars, but (of course) he thinks the KIAs are better deals. And one I really liked was the KIA Soul... its a far less gay version of the Mini-Cooper. It might be a little out of my price range, but still...

The 2011 Elantra Touring

I left Ken and KIA and drove over to Tameron Hyundai. Tameron is the dealership that sold The Lovely Steph Leann the Honda she drives, and though I've never had a problem with Tameron, and they have always been nice enough, I don't know that Tameron Honda is where I want to go--likewise, Tameron Hyundai isn't where I'll probably buy a car, but I did want to look at some models, like the Elantra, the Accent and the Santa Fe SUV. I was all about the Hyundai Elantra Touring, a station wagon, but much, much cooler looking. Again, probably out of my price range, but we shall see...

The point of this little anecdote, though, was that at KIA, the guy came out after about ten minutes, which was fine with me. At Tameron Hyundai, I was there over 30 minutes, and not one single person came out to talk to me. Its not that I wanted a bunch of pushy salesman around, but seriously, nobody?  Really? 

So Friday rolls around, and The Lovely Steph Leann and I make plans to head out to just east of Birmingham, to the Roebuck/Center Point area--not the safest place to travel once night falls, but it was early in the evening, just after five pm. 

Serra is a name attached to four or five dealerships along a stretch of Centerpoint Parkway, right next to each other--Serra Chevrolet, Serra Hyundai, Serra Kia, Serra everything else--and our plan was to go by Serra Hyundai.  We have both been hearing on the radio "NEW HYUNDAIS FOR $8,000!  WE HAVE TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE 2011s!  GET A NEW HYUNDAI ACCENT FOR $7000!  A NEW ELANTRA FOR $8000!" so we wanted to check it out... now, we are both realists, and we know that it cannot be quite simply "New Car for $8000", but it never hurts to investigate. 

Worst case scenario, we come home with no new car, just the paid for cars we already own.  Best cast scenario, we plop down $8 grand and I drive home with a brand new Hyunda Elantra.  Its possible, even probable, that they were base models, so I told The Lovely Steph Leann we'd have to spend a little more on a radio... what is important to me is an iPod auxiliary jack.  I want to be able to plug in my iPod or my iPhone and listen to it, be it a Harry Potter audiobook or Sara Bareilles' new CD, through the car speakers.  Yes, I could toss in the CD into the CD player, provided it has one, but that's not the point.

Let's keep in mind, I haven't eaten yet.  When I say that, I tell you that I've been at Starbucks at work from about 415am to about 130ish, and on my lunch break, I had to do two things--get tickets for Harry Potter (going the following night), get Melanie something (I told her I would grab her lunch) and get myself something.  I had 30 minutes.  I zipped down to Chick-fila to grab lunch, but realized I didn't have time to eat.  When I eat Chick-fila, I have to doctor up my own sandwich, which takes about five minutes, which I had no time to spare, so I grabbed Melanie's food and then zipped down to the Rave to get tickets, which I did.  And after I got off work, I had some errands to run and some other stuff to get done (Translation: I don't remember exactly what I did--it was two days ago) and when The Lovely Steph Leann got home, we jumped in the vehicle, her vehicle, and headed to Center Point.  She had a late lunch, so she's not hungry.  I'm getting kinda hungry.

Up 280, down I-450, onto I-59, then off to Roebuck Parkway, which turns into Center Point Parkway.  The median length forces us to drive past Serra Hyundai, Serra Chevy and Serra KIA, but as I turn around the median, I told The Lovely Steph Leann I wanted to pull into KIA.  She asked why, and I told her I wanted to look around.  I mentioned that we could walk down to the Hyundai dealership, which is still our original destination.  We stop, park, and start looking around.  The Forte, the Optima, the Sorrento, the Rio and... The KIA Soul.  A cherry red KIA Soul sitting on the end of the row.  There was a white one there too, but it was white.  And not red. 

Its the commercials with the hamsters.  Honestly, I remember the hamsters, but didn't connect it was a KIA commercial--or a car commercial, for that matter--until the sales guy mentioned in.  Just sayin'.

A salesman comes out, introduces himself as Gene, and begins to tell us whats on sale.  We do some looking around, ask some questions, answer some questions, and then the big question gets asked... whats our price range?  Ah, that is the query, isn't it.

We look at a KIA Rio, which is a small, tiny four door car that I kinda like, and will do if need be.  We take it for a test drive, it drives nice, but there are a few things I'm not excited about.  The arm rest for instance--there is no middle console armrest, one that has a lid that you can put stuff in.  There is an iPod auxiliary jack, but that's all the radio has to offer.  The car is tiny.  Of course, when we make it down to Serra Hyundai, the Accent and possibly the Elantra will be not much bigger, so I guess if I don't like the KIA Rio... well...

I will say the Rio drives fine.  Its a good little car, it picked up quickly, it was comfy and I'm okay with small cars, because good gas mileage is important to me.  With Toni Rocki Honda, I fill up once about every three weeks, though it helps that I live 3 miles from the store and also that we usually take The Lovely Steph Leann's Honda because its a more comfy ride. 

We pulled back in and Gene asked us to run some numbers.  He did the whole "Now, you don't have to commit to anything, I just want to see what I can do for you."  The Serra salesman sell cars across all three dealerships, so he filled us in on the Hyundai $8000 deal... you have to buy two.  And that was in the fine print, of course.   Yeah, he could have been feeding us some Bantha Poodoo, but makes sense.

Finally, I ask to test drive the KIA Soul.  He goes and gets the keys, and we pull out of the lot, a car with 31 miles on it.  Its... its just cool.  Its just fun.  Its bright red, a color that I usually associate with 21 year old guys in Mustangs or convertibles to pick up chicks, and higher insurance rates, so I ask about other colors, and am assured that if I want this car, they'll get me whatever color I want.  Of course they will, its a car dealership.

I've already done some research on the KIA Soul, and have liked what I'd seen... its quite safe, it holds appreciation well, its sporty, its not too expensive, its roomier than most cars of its kind and so on.  And in driving it... its fun.  I like this car.  And this is not good, because this thing is brand new!   This thing is costly!  There's no way we're going to be driving away with a KIA Soul.  The Lovely Steph Leann won't allow such a mockery of Dave Ramsey Justice!  Right?  Right?

I noticed something as we walked around a little afterwards... the KIA Rio is about $1200 more than the KIA Soul.  So... if we wanted to get the Rio, which The Lovely Steph Leann liked, then... wouldn't the Soul make more sense?  Its bigger... and cheaper?

Smashcut to a half hour later... we are sitting in Gene's little cubicle and he's in front of us, hands clasped, elbows on table, telling us that he wants us to drive off the lot in a new car.  Of course he does.  This is a car dealership.

The Lovely Steph Leann and I listen to his pitch, and both simply tell him, "No".  It was too much.  Too much down, too much in car payments, car payments that we were trying to avoid all together.  He had written down the details on a piece of paper, and they only would pay $500 for Toni Rocki Honda, which was a travesty in my own mind.  Sure, she needs a $1000 repair in air conditioning, but I am pretty sure I could get a grand for her on Craigslist or even the paper, but $500?

And I watch the car salesmen tricks unfold... "Okay, what if I do this?  What if [crossing out the number 500 and writing in pen] we give you a $1000 [writing the number 1-0-0-0] for your Honda?"  We say "No".  "Okay, well what if I say you don't have to put this much down [crosses out the amount down] and you only put this much down [writes down another number] and we say "No".

He says, "Okay, let me go run some more numbers", and runs off to do a credit check, leaving The Lovely Steph Leann and I alone.  We start chatting quietly about what we are going to do, and suddenly, getting a new car, the bright red KIA Soul, is a distinct possibility.  A real possibility.

The Lovely Steph Leann is the budgeter in our family, the "Nerd", is Ramsey speak.  I am the "Free Spirit", the one who spends a little more than he should, so I'm leaning on her, my wife, heavily to help me through this (isn't that the way it should be, really?).  She says one single "No way, we can't do this", then I'm not going to fight her for it.  I tell her straight up that there is a certain threshold of savings I want to keep in there, and no matter what, we don't go below that.  She tells me what the reality is of our budget. 

Gene comes back with another set of details and agreements.  I smile and simply say, "Okay, man, listen... this is a great deal.  We have talked about it, and we agree this is a great deal, but we just don't think we can do it.  We weren't looking for car payments, we don't want to kill our savings and really, if we have to say yes or no at this very moment, we'd have to say 'no'."  Gene tells us, "I understand.  But let me just tell ya, we haven't sold a car today.  I'm going to do what it takes to get you into this car."  He gets up and runs out.

Gene comes back in, with the same piece of paper, folded over, with words written in Sharpie at the top, saying "XMAS COMES EARLY HO HO HO", with some details on the bottom. And the details are great.  I ask Gene to give us a minute to discuss, and he agrees and leaves.  The Lovely Steph Leann and I then go to work.

The questions begin... "Can we do it?"... "Do we want to take on a car payment, even for just a little while?"... "We can do it, but do we want to do it?"... "How will this affect how we live?"... "What do we do about Disney World in February, and for that matter, in two weeks?"  We talk for about fifteen minutes or so, and The Lovely Steph Leann leans her head back, puts her hands in her hair and just say, "Aarrgghh... this is like buying the house all over again!"

I smile and say, "We either do it or we don't.  I like the car, quite a bit.  But I'm not bothered if we walk out of here without it.  We deal with my Honda for a while, and then we can decide how much money to put into it.  Or, we take the plunge, deal with it for a while, and have a reliable car for a long, long time.  What do you think?"

Again, she says, "Aaargghh!" and then laughs uncomfortably.  Gene comes back in and asks what we think, holding out the paper with a line on the bottom.  Without saying much, The Lovely Steph Leann just leans over and signs the paper. 

We just bought a car.  Its an awesome car.  Its a 2011 KIA Soul, complete with a bright red exterior, four doors, a hatchback, Sirius Radio, an iPod auxiliary jack, 31 miles when I drove it off the lot and, unfortunately, for the first time in over three years since we have been debt free, a car payment.  Just don't tell Dave Ramsey.

The Curse of Sikes & Kohns Country Mall

Here's a few little stories to share...

HAVE A SIX FLAGS DAY
I recently purchased a Six Flags season pass.  I haven't been to Six Flags in many years, since Goliath was brand spanking new, and I remember two things about that middle school trip I went on... first, Goliath was awesome.  Second, the park was just dirty.  I mean, really dirty.

In addition to the trash that lined the curbs, the "I don't give a rip" attitudes of many of the workers there, and the scenery and ride queues that seemed worn, faded and old, I always recall the gum spots on the Batman wall, and on the floor of the Superman ride as you are coming back to the station.  As you are harnessed in, facing down, many people will spit gum out of their mouth onto the platform... and its gross.

I called up my buddy Shawn and told him I had my season pass and a free ticket that came with it, and as long as he could cover his own lunch, I'd take him.  He was in full agreement, and we met up the next day around 9 and took off.  A few hours later, we are pulling up into the Daffy Duck Row 7 line in the parking lot, and walking in.  We immediately go on the Georgia Scorcher, waiting about 20 minutes to get on.  I figure this is good, because 20 minutes is a decent, short wait for a ride, and if we can wait this long for all of them, then we'll be in the good shape.

I was wrong.  We walked onto the Georgia Cyclone, Thunder River (he got soaked, I got my feet wet), the Ninja, The Great American Scream Machine and The Dahlonega Mine Train, and the only reason it took 15 minutes to get on Superman, Batman and Goliath is because we waited for the front of the line.  After Batman, Shawn needed a coaster break, so I took on The Mind Bender alone... front car, no wait.  I even closed my eyes during the ride, which I love doing on roller coasters.

The Ninja sucks.  Always has.  Its jerky, its rough and its not entertaining.  And I'm not alone in this assessment, as its Wiki page says, "it is the least popular U.S. major roller coaster as voted by people on ThemeParkInsider, ThemeParkCritic, and other review sites."  But, I ride it anyway.

I know much of the park was flooded last year, so I'm sure that helped spur along renovations and improvements, but I was impressed by everything.  The workers (team members?  associates?  Six Flaggers?) all wear bright green shirts so they can easily be spotted, and most that I encountered had smiles and friendly attitudes, and cheered you on with "Have a Six Flags day!". 

Some of the rides now have sponsors... Axe Body Spray is logo'd over The Ninja, which strikes me as kinda funny.  The Mind Bender sports the green color again on the tracks, and the new cars (a little too sleek--I kinda miss the boxy cars) have question mark decorations down the side.  No, not for the Riddler, like it was fifteen years ago, but because Stride sponsors this ride now.  The Scorcher has brand new cars, with the flames on it now blue--Georgia Gas is the sponsor. 

Over the six hours we were there, we rode everything we wanted, with minimal lines.  They have deals for drinks now, like a bottle of water is $3, but you can get 2 for $5 (which is what we did), and the ice cream sandwich I had was pretty good too.  Monster Plantation, which was in such dire need of an overhaul, got one.  The music is crisp and loud, the boats are comfy enough and remodeled, and the animatronics, silly as they are, are full of fur and worked perfectly.  The song is annoying as ever, but at least its understandable.

Overall, I was pleased with the day.  The temperature wasn't too bad, the lines were short, and I was hanging with a good friend, which is the best way to enjoy a good roller coaster.  While we were in the front row of Goliath, as it was cresting the first big hill (by the way, that coaster is terrifying, which is awesome) I could see the parking lot that was only a third full. 

We ended the day by stopping at Texas Roadhouse, where I dined on a delmonica steak and cheese fries.  Good times, good times indeed. 

THE CURSE OF SIKES & KOHN'S
If you travel down Highway 231, either from Montgomery headed to Troy, or headed to Monkeytown from Troy, you'll travel through, or at least near, a tiny little town called Pine Level.  I know very little about Pine Level, except that there is a South Alabama icon there.

The place is called Sikes and Kohn's Country Mall, or Sikes and Kohn's (pronounced "kahn's") for short.  And I hate this place.

Even before you get anywhere close to Sikes and Kohns, you'll see the billboards... oh, will you see the billboards.  Large, painted signs telling you that you'll find shoes like Allen Edmunds, Cole Haan and Saucony, jeans like Levi's, Lee and Wranglers, clothes from Lauren, Tommy and Jordache all at Sikes and Kohns Country Mall.

Oh, I have nothing against Mr/Mrs Sikes or Mr/Mrs Kohn's, nor do I take any offense at the nature of the store.  Its a bit overpriced for my tastes, but there are a few good deals to be had in there, if you look hard enough.  They sell everything from camo to cowboy hats, boots to bolo ties, and there is an entire wall devoted to men's and women's belts.

No, the reason I dislike this place is because everytime I go there, my car breaks down.  The first time I went, while in college, I stopped for some unknown reason--I'm sure it wasn't to shop.  This was when I had my green Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme.  I went inside, and when I came back out, nothing.  No turnover, no sound, nothing.  Had to call a tow truck, and it was terribly overpriced.

Another time, I had driven down to visit Allysong and Shelby and Jenn Mullterp and Rad a Tad, and was on my way back when I had to stop and use the facilities.  So, without thinking about it, I pulled into Sikes & Kohns Country Mall.  Parked on the gravel lot, ran inside, use the powder room, came back out, started up, and was pulling out of the lot when my car started making a really, really funny noise. 

Instead of going left, I went right, back down 231 to a small gas station/repair shop that I had passed.  They spent about three hours fixing it.  And as I crossed the median on 231 to take that left to head back to Birmingham, the car started... jumping.  And surging.  And stalling.   So, back to the gas station.  Then, it was towed to Troy.  Allysong drove out and picked me up.  Tow trucks on Sunday?  Expensive.

So, skip ahead like, 12 years or something, to this past April.  With a four day break between the ending of The Happiest Place in the Mall and the beginning of Starbucks full time, I decided I would take a few days to visit Mom in Samson.  And on the way down, I started seeing the signs for Sikes and Kohns.  I tensed.

It was time.  It had been too long.  The curse had warded over me for over a decade, so much so that I drove past it, never wanting to stop.  But not this day.  Not this time.  If I was ever going to beat Sikes and Kohns, it was time to do so.  With Toni Rocki Honda, no less, a 15 year old car that, if any car was going to break down, would be it. 

Finally, I saw the big arrow sign, and Sikes and Kohns was here.  I slowed down, pulled into the turning lane, and turned into the lot.  I found a spot close to the front--it was a Tuesday late morning, so it wasn't crowded--parked and turn Toni Rocki Honda off.  I got out, and went inside the building.  I figured any stay had to be at least five minutes, otherwise it wouldn't count... I wanted this Curse of Sikes and Kohns dispelled once and for all. 

I walked around inside, browsing the shirts and jeans, and observed the Wall O'Belts near the front.  Nodded that "hi, how ya doing, no I don't need help, but I want to acknowledge your standing there" head nod to the cashier, and finally, went outside.  Keys in hand, I unlocked the door and slid behind the wheel.  Took a deep breath, turned they key...

...Toni Rocki Honda started to life.  I exhaled.  Put 'er in D, drove down the driveway and out onto 231... and drove away . The curse was done.  It was over.  I would now no longer be afraid to stop at Sikes and Kohns Country Mall.  I don't know that I'll have any reason to stop there anyway, but now it won't be a purposeful not-stopping-there.

And just to add some drizzle to the cake, the gas station that I had my car serviced, and further broken, at is now just an abandoned building. 

I win.

MORNING TIME
While I'm at Starbucks now, working, I'll wear a drive thru headset... even if I'm not on the window, I'll have it on to assist those who are in the window by getting sandwiches, or pastries, or restocking cups or whatever.  In the morning, its usually pretty busy, so I hear one beep after another, as one car after another comes to the speaker to order, but every now and again, there's a break.  And in that break, I can hear... well, I can hear birds.  Birds chirping.  And singing.  And as I listen to those birds chirping, even for a brief few seconds, it makes me think I'm 8 years old again.

When I was a kid, my mom and I would take a trip down to Florida for part of the summer.  My aunt-then, sister-now (there's a story there, I promise, but for later), lived in Winter Garden, and I'd get to hang out with my cousin April, and it was awesome.   We were young enough to sleep in the same room, as boys and girls do at that age, and I remember waking up early in the morning to those birds.

There would be a box fan in the window, and the peaceful hum of that fan would keep me drifting in and out of consciousness for most of the morning.  I would open my eyes just enough to see that it was early, the light in the room dim, I could barely make out the features in the room.  Sometimes, even with the box fan in the window, we'd still leave the window open and the morning's cool air would be in the room.  It was Florida, mind you, and it would get hot... but not yet.

And, the cool outside air circulating with the box fan's air, the dim light in the room getting a little bit brighter every few minutes, me on my little bed with the blanket pulled up to my neck, April the next bed over... and I hear the birds sing.

Just like at Starbucks this morning.

Speaking of fans...

A FAN OF THE FAN
There is very little better than a good fan.  The Lovely Steph Leann has always had issues allergies and sinuses, so a ceiling fan whirring all night long might keep her cool at night, but there is a wheezy, stuffy price to pay in the morning.

During the summer, we try to be conscience of the thermostat, because we'd rather spend money at Disney World than pay a $250 power bill every month... so it can get a little toasty in our room.  But on those days when she is gone, when I sleep alone, I turn that fan on high.  I crawl into bed, and pull up my favorite mom-handsewn butterfly quilt and let the cool breeze rush around me.

But my favorite?  When I was a kid at home, my parents let me used a small, oscillating fan (there is never use of the word "oscillating" unless the word "fan" is after it) that I would set on a metal folding chair.  I'd use books to set it on to get just the right height, then hit that button in the back to make it turn.

That breeze from the fan going back and forth over the length of your body is awesome.  You feel it on your face for about two seconds, then its gone, as the air moves down your body laying there under the sheet.  Then, if you set it up just right, it would hit your feet for about two seconds, then head back towards your head again.  That was a glorious feeling. 

Movie reviews for about a dozen movies coming this weekend

The 100 Coolest Things of 2009... 70 to 61

It's been a few days weeks since I last worked on this particular list, but since its now officially mid-February, I figured I'd better get a move on.  Here's the next ten on The 100 Coolest Things of 2009...

70... Pastor Calvin
I've been attending Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) since 1998.  I first went to service at the Larnelle Harris Christmas Concert, and then soon after, in January of 1999, I was baptized.  It was this time frame that I got to meet Pastor Calvin Kelly, who, this past fall, celebrated 25 years at the church.

Through the going on 12 years I've been attending the church, I've seen people come and go (and come back), I've seen staff members come and go (and come back), I've watched my WalkAbout kids come into middle school, get to high school, graduate and even get married, and I've seen the entire church uproot and move a mile down the road.  I've seen both of Pastor Calvin's daughters graduate (and even went out with one of them once) and get married, and watched my dear Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) through its ups and downs.  Through it all, there has been one main earthly constant, and that's the pastor of the church.

I haven't always agreed with our church.  Sometimes I question its direction, and even go so far as to... well, you know, ask.  Imagine that.  But I know that there is a backbone of Godly staff behind our church, and at its helm, our pastor.  And in that, I rest my hope in our church.  Thanks Pastor Calvin.

69... "My Life in Ruins"
What a silly little movie, really. 

Starring Nia Vardalos, my favorite Greek born actress... well, okay, she was born in Canada, but go with this, okay?  Anyway, in the years since "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", a movie high in The Dave100, she's not fared so well with her career.  She only managed 7 episodes of "My Big Fat Greek Life" on CBS before it was pulled, and then co-starred with Toni Collette in the what-seemed-disasterous "Connie & Carla" (I say "seemed" because I have never seen it, and don't intend to change that) and managed a few guest spots in the TBS series "My Boys".  She even had a bomb, her directorial debut, called "I Hate Valentine's Day", not to be confused with the current "Valentine's Day" film.

And then came her latest film, "My Life in Ruins", which I saw in June of 2009.  And really, it kinda bombed too, so her losing streak continues... but here's what I had to say about this movie when I wrote about it last summer...

I had a feeling this would be a movie I would enjoy, but I didn’t realize I would like it as much as I did. I loved it. It’s not perfect, its flawed, and let’s be honest, this is a blip on the radar screen of the summer movies. It spent about two weeks in the big theaters, and I saw it today on the dollar screen…


Nia plays Georgia, a tour guide for a small company that gives week long tours in Greece. She loves the history, she loves the architecture and she loves Greece, but she struggles with being entertaining to a group of tourists, some American, some British, some Australian and some just old and annoying. Her co-worker, Niko, does everything he can to appeal not only to his group, but Georgia’s group as well, being funny, buying them food, skipping the boring history to go shopping and so on.

The movie is about a week in Georgia’s life, and how she figures it out… through a number of sources, including an excellent Richard Dreyfuss playing the typically loudmouth funny old guy, “Irv” and a bus driver who takes a liking to her--a bus driver who's name is pronounced "Poopy Cacas"

The movie is a bit long, and towards the end I was hoping it would come to a conclusion… and finally, it does. “My Life in Ruins” is light, its breezy, its fun and Nia Vardalos is her beautiful, real self.

The Lovely Steph Leann and I watched it again the other night, via Netflix, and I think I enjoyed it more, and entered the "I'm probably going to buy that movie once it goes down to like, $9.99 or less, because I know it will" phase in my mind.  Loved it.

68... The Chipotle Mexican Grill
This one finished 38th on last year's list, but don't let the drop of 30 spots make you think I enjoy it any less.  Perhaps I enjoy it more, and because of that, it was worth a second mention...

I always get the same thing--thats how I am, I like something, I go with it, because I don't want to spend good money on something I'm not sure I'd like when I could have spent that money on something I know I'd like.  Hence, getting the carnitas on January 25th, 2009, the last time I deviated from my beloved three soft tacos, no salsa, extra cheese, extra sour cream, bag o'chips and a small Pibb Xtra.  Mmm Mmm Mmm.

67... "Tropic Thunder"
Yeah, yeah, I know, this movie came out in 2008, but I didn't get to see it until April 2009, via the Netflix.   With actors Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Nick Nolte, Bill Hader, a terrific Robert Downey Jr and a riotous Tom Cruise all on screen, the chemistry is top notch.

Simply put, a group of actors are filming a war film, and are unwittingly dropped into the jungle to be filmed in "real life", but there is so much more to this movie.  Its raw, its bawdy and the language is terrible.  But the movie is hysterical.



Probably the most memorable parts are RDJ as Kirk Lazarus, an actor so devoted to method-acting he has "pigment alteration" to darken his skin in order to more effectively portray a black character--and he never breaks character, taking in a very un-PC accent.  The other is Tom Cruise, now at that point in his career when he can take roles like this--he wears a fat suit and is Les Grossman, a foul-mouthed, comb over bald studio exec that steals every scene he's in.  Its Rated R for obvious reasons (language). 

66... "Breakthrough" by Colbie Caillat
Its her second album, following 2007's "Coco", (one of the coolest things of 2007) which spawned the hit single "Bubbly"--you know, "it starts from my toes, makes me crinkle my nose--and to me, this CD is superior in every way. 

From the opening song, "I Won't" to the final track, "Breakin' at the Cracks", and everything in between, its like you can imagine Colbie just strumming on a guitar, sitting on a stool, singing her songs.  I almost feel like she could have performed at The Deuce back in the day (though I guess in 2001 she might have been underaged... hmm...). 

Her biggest hit from the album has been "Fallin' For You", which is such a fun song to hear and sing along to.  The video?  I ranked it as my 20th favorite video in the as yet unfinished Top 20 Videos of the Decade. 

65... ESPN College Football
I love college football.  I get all in a tizzy and like a little schoolboy when it finally comes on in August, and I grieve like I lost my puppy when it ends in January. 

I worked on my 2009 Coolest List for a few months, adding stuff to it all along, and somehow, this was ranked 65th.  I'm not sure if there is a specific reason, or just in general... but yay for college football and especially ESPN College Football Gameday!

64... Christian Brothers Auto
Here's what I know about this particular mechanic shop... its owned/operated by a guy named Brandon, who goes to Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship),  they have a Honda specialist that owns some of his own Honda equipment (which works for me with Toni Rocki Honda and The Lovely Steph Leann with Isadora, her own Honda Accord), they are reasonably priced and they have the word "Christian" in the name.

Car trouble is something I'm pretty familiar with, and finding a good mechanic that you can talk to and trust is like finding someone to get your hair did... once you find them, you do your best to stay there.   Let's be real... just because the word "Christian" is in the name doesn't automatically make them great mechanics--but by putting that word in their name, they suddenly have something to live up to, almost purposely putting themselves under a higher standard to meet.  You get bad service at Mr. Goodwrench, you complain and go elsewhere.  You get bad service at Christian Brothers Auto, and you not only complain, you say things like, "Well, they are supposed to be a 'Christian' place, I see how that is," which is pretty devestating to a witness.

Either way, they've been great to me thusfar, they are always packed out, and when I can get in, its the source for all my oil repairs and major fixes.  You can visit their website here, or give them a call at 205-987-6620.  Oh, and their courtesy shuttle is a sweet, sweet ride.

63... "Native Tongue" by Carl Hiassen
Sez me on November 13th:  And finally, here's one I just finished. "Native Tongue" by Carl Hiaasen doesn't deviate, plot set-up anyway, from most of his other books. Hiaasen has lots of colorful characters he spreads out through the book, and you know somehow, someway, they are all going to cross paths at one point or another in a crucial plot point. And, like just about all of his other books (might be all of them--I have only read four), the story takes place in Florida.

This one actually takes place close to Key Largo, at a Disney rip-off called The Amazing Kingdom of Thrills, and it involves steroid taking security guards, gun shooting baboons, mafia witnesses, mob hits, a professional golfer, a chick who plays Robby Raccoon, a former governor of Florida living in the woods wearing a panther tracking collar, a chick who writes poetry for a phone sex line, and a protagonist who was hired because he writes great press releases. Oh, and it centers around two rat-like creatures who may or may not be extinct--or actually exist, stolen by two burglers who may or may not be complete fools. The book is funny, its fast paced, it does have lots of language, and was a breezy read.

62... "I Love You, Man"
Sez me on May 28th:  As for "I Love You Man", it was funny enough. Not awesome, not terrible, but good for some good laughs. Great moments, Paul Rudd's delivery is solid as always, and Jason Segel is someone I could get used to laughing at. The appearance of Jon Favreau was a welcome sight, too, as it always is. And somehow, the character playing Zoe, Paul Rudd's fiance, got hotter as the movie went on. Found out later it was Rashida Jones, the daughter of Quincy Jones. Not a clue.



Upon seeing it again, I can honestly say Paul Rudd is becoming one of my favorite actors, and this movie is downright funny.  Rated R for language.

61... "Heartless" by Kris Allen
Once again, one of those Idol performances that I'll remember for a very, very long time.  Sez me on May 12th:   The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen is singing Kanye West's "Heartless". This should be a hoot...

Now THIS... rocks. Strumming with the guitar, it reminds me of a John Mayer cover of a hip hop song... or when Derrick Harris covered "Baby One More Time" on guitar at A Very Deuce Christmas Party in 2000... I think Factor 7 performed too, but don't remember, but seriously... this is awesome.

And this will do what few songs will do... make me go to iTunes and download the song. And I might, tomorrow, do what I've NEVER done in all these years of Idol blogging... go and download the performance version. I didn't do that with Ruben, nor McPheever, nor Pickles (I love Pickles!) nor Carrie nor anyone else. But I just might with this one.



By the way.. I did.  While the acoustic version is better, its still great.

Coming up... Eating a lamb burger... Timberlake loves his mother... and later, the best picture of the entire year...

Arguing the Hotness of Ashley Tisdale (and other points of interest)

Just got finished with another movie, this time "I Love You Man", starring Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. Met Mikey at Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits after church, and we headed up to the Carmike Dollar Theater for a late night viewing. This has been a common ritual, we find a movie that both want to see, perhaps one that we just don't want to pay $7 bucks for, and we catch it at the dollar theater.

We started this trend while watching "The Marine", starring 5 time WWE Champion John Cena, but this didn't work with "12 Rounds", starring 5 time WWE Champion John Cena, because it was up one week, then gone the next. We also wished we had waited until the dollar theater to see "Punisher: War Zone" from last year. Mikey, you still owe me 9 bucks for that drivel.

As for "I Love You Man", it was funny enough. Not awesome, not terrible, but good for some good laughs. Great moments, Paul Rudd's delivery is solid as always, and Jason Segel is someone I could get used to laughing at. The appearance of Jon Favreau was a welcome sight, too, as it always is. And somehow, the character playing Zoe, Paul Rudd's fiance, got hotter as the movie went on. Found out later it was Rashida Jones, the daughter of Quincy Jones. Not a clue.

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Had this exchange with The Lovely Steph Leann while watching Ashley Tisdale's new video, airing in a snippet before the commercials & previews of one of our movies this past weekend:

Me: Ashley Tisdale. Still think she's hot.
The Lovely Steph Leann: She's a baby!
Me: Seriously, she's like, 23
The Lovely Steph Leann: Still, anyone you are ten years older than is... well, a baby
Me: Uh... Dennis Quaid? He's like, 50. Bradley Whitford, too.
The Lovely Steph Leann: (pause) Well... (pause)... I like older men. So there.


See... I think she's pretty hot. Maybe its just me.

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I did minor in sign language in college, and though I've forgotten most if it, it still piques my interest. Lil Sister Ashley and I were actually trying to take a sign class at nearby Six Flags of Brookhills, but we weren't able to go alot, and it fell through for both of us.

Still, its my love of sign and Fergie, a championship combination that is solid any way you put it, that makes me think this video is just awesome:

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Toni Rocki Honda is sick. I'm not sure if there's a cure. Apparently, her electrical system is screwed up, and sometimes she starts. Sometimes she doesn't. In fact, she doesn't give any indication of when she may or may not start. Seriously.

Monday morning, that being this past Memorial Day, I went out at 5:20a to drive over to Starbucks and work my 4 hour, time & a half shift. She turned over, but didn't start. Wouldn't start. I took The Lovely Steph Leann's car. Tuesday morning, I had Toni Rocki Honda towed over to my mechanic, Christian Brothers Automotive.

Today I get a call from them, and they basically tell me that something is shorting... out... the relay... switch (I scrunch my face to try to recall what it is that is wrong, and the words that were being used...) and they... can't figure it out...

Brandon: We've been running tests, and we can't figure out whats wrong.
Me: Wow. Just eliminating one thing after another?
Brandon: Pretty much. We haven't even done anything to fix it, but it just started working in the middle of us working on it.
Me: So you'll be doing more tests, huh?
Brandon: That's all we can do.
Me: You know this sounds like I'm on the phone with a doctor discussing the prognosis of my grandmother, right?

Hopefully, they'll figure it out... for all the debt-freedness we have going on, we cannot afford to just write a check for a new car. And car payments are not an option.

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New blog plugs...

Wookiee has his own blog now. He's not as chatty as I am, but he's much more into sports, or at least more knowledgeable, and has random thoughts just like me. You can find his blog right here.

As always, I have to mention Erin the Marine Wife, who has an excellent blog started. She calls it Many Kind Regards, and its all about being a mother and a Marine Wife, and some of her best work is when she dives into the life, struggles and hilarity's (what there are, I mean) of being a military wife. Check it out right here.

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Had a house guest here at The Cabana Extended Stay Suites & Resort Spa. About a month or so ago, out of the blue, Tyler the Brother in Law calls up his sister, my wife, and says, "Hey, I got a friend working in Birmingham this summer and doesn't have a place to stay for a few weeks... can she stay with you guys?"

"Do we know her?"
"No. But she's nice and all. You'll like her."


She'll probably kill me that I used this pic, but I lifted it from her Facebook page. It was hard to find, though, because she's with someone on just about every picture.

Her name is Davis-Ann, and that's just the first name. She's been here in our guest room for a few weeks, and today she moved out into the place she'll call home for the summer, at a friend's family place. She was really just wonderful, if I may be so old to say as such, she was quiet, polite, and clean. And she loves her coffee. She's going to hold down The Cabana when we head to The Happiest Place on Earth in a few weeks. She even mentioned us in her blog today... we feel special.

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Hilarious spoof. And pretty accurate.

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Want me to completely waste time and not do anything? Put me in front of the television, then turn on Investigative Discovery when there's a rerun of Dateline NBC or 48 Hours Hard Evidence. This past Saturday, I completely killed three hours just staring at this channel, as I saw a dentist who murdered his wife for his mistress, and a judge who was killed by a hired gun and another case of a love triangle gone wrong. Heck, its on right now, at 1:04 in the morning, and though I'm not watching it, I know its about some old chick who bought it at the hands of... well, we won't know until about 20 after. And I'll be done by then, hopefully.

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Made a new header for Clouds, I hope you like it. I also added pics of those people I often talk about on Clouds, like Mindy D'A, Mikey, Wookiee, J Rob, KT and many, many more. Eventually, I'll link those pics to their respective blogsites, if they have them.

I also added The Dave100 listing on the side, to which I'll add to from time to time. And I'm going to add a section on books I've read this year, so far, and movies I've seen this year, so far.

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And for tonight, that's a wrap.

Samson Blog Part IV: Memories in a BBQ Dive

Working at The Happiest Place in the Mall affords me the chance to sometimes see people I haven't seen in years. I have seen many of my college mates come through the doors, each looking for some magic, and a few from elsewhere (including a run in with Shay Oliver, to which I had to apologize for the visit). Tonight? Beth Edison came through the doors. Haven't seen her in about, I dunno, 17 years? She still looks the same, just a few years older.

We also had a prom group come through tonight, and that gave me a great idea for a post later... prom nights. Four proms, three dates, many stories. But that's later. For now, here's the end of my daylong visit to Samson, Alabama. This actually appears on pages 9 thru 12 of the original document I wrote it on, which is why I had to break it up into four parts. Its been a fun column to write, though. Anyway, here's the previous posts, then the finale....

Samson Blog Part I: "...Knee High to a Puddle Duck"
Samson Blog Part II: Tammy Ward & the Library Books
Samson Blog Part III: High School Highs... and Lows

PART IV... MEMORIES IN A BBQ DIVE

I had an original plan heading into this Monday to possibly talk to two people… Chris McCall, my high school best friend who I haven’t seen in a very, very long time, and The Clouds in My Coffee Official High School Crush Julie Wise, who asked me to let her know when I was in town. My thought was, “hey, maybe I can meet one for lunch, one for coffee, or both for dinner, or both for lunch!”, but a day or so before, I discovered Chris had the unfortunate event of being in Disney World at the same time I was in Samson. I had texted The Clouds in My Coffee Official High School Crush Julie Wise on my way down to Samson, but hadn’t heard from her at all, so I was already mentally making plans to maybe go down to the small community of Hacoda and see if another good high school buddy Greg Avant was around.

Lo and behold, The Official Clouds in My Coffee High School Crush Julie Wise texts me back, and after a few texts back and forth, we finally set up a time—5pm—to meet up at a local restaurant—Crew’s BBQ—in town. “Where is Crew’s?” I texted. “Its down on 87, where Gautney’s used to be, across the street from Stephanie Sheffield’s old house” was the reply. Stephanie Sheffield of the "dancing with Ryan Frary as he tried to move my hand to make me feel up Angiejay" fame, as mentioned in the previous post.

I vaguely remember when Gautney’s was open (its had several owners and names since then, including its current incarnation, Crews BBQ). They were the competitors to The Wright Place, and I remember Forrest and Charlotte didn’t like the people that owned it… apparently, the owners of Gautney’s made fun of myself and Victor Miller, the other waiter, saying they’d never hire “Puerto Ricans like that, they’d probably steal all the money.” Its Hispanic, you ignorant (expletive deleted).

After sitting with my mom for a while longer, I finally decided it was time to go on down to dinner, so at 10 til 5, I said goodbye, gave my hugs, and went outside. I reeked of smoke, but luckily, I had anticipated this, so I wheeled onto the little dirt road that runs behind the west block of downtown Samson, namely the area behind the hardware store, the old Wright Place location and so on. I pulled up, yanked off my shirt and threw on a sweatshirt. Then, at 5pm, I was sitting in Crew’s BBQ.

It wasn’t busy at the time, so I went and sat in a booth, and when the waitress came up, I asked for some sweet tea. As she was returning with said drink, I looked at her suspiciously… “Y’all do take debit cards… right?” She smirked and said, “No, the boss won’t get a card machine!” I sighed, mentally cursing the lack of technology in this town and racked my brain for a quick solution. An ATM, maybe?

Like she was reading my mind, the waitress said, “You can go to the ATM if you want.” I perked up, looking around, figuring I’d have to pay a service charge of like, $3 or something, and asked where it was. “Oh, just go down to the red light, take a left, and you’ll see the bank on the left side.” By saying “down to the red light”, she was essentially saying go back the two miles you came from town. Sigh. Again.

I texted The Clouds in My Coffee Official High School Crush Julie Wise and told her what happened, and that I had no money in my pocket. Her text was a big fat LOL. I told her if she’d pull up, she could ride with me down to the bank, and she responded simply, “Don’t worry about it, I got it.” I started to text her back, and in rolls this big Mommy-Mobile SUV wheeling through the parking lot. And out steps The Clouds in My Coffee Official High School Crush Julie Wise, the first time I’d actually seen her in 15 or 16 years. Big smile from her, big smile from me, I gave her a big hug and we sat down for a nice meal of Crews BBQ, even though I got popcorn shrimp and she got chicken fingers.

Now, let me be very clear about this… before any and all of you start imagining all the things that can go wrong here, and start asking yourself “Is this a good idea?” and such, this was a We-Are-Friends meal. This was clear from the get-go on both of our parts. As a matter of fact, talk of The Lovely Steph Leann was littered throughout our entire conversation, how we met, who she is, how we match up, and so on. I love The Lovely Steph Leann and made sure that my conversation reflected such. Plus, The Clouds in My Coffee Official High School Crush Julie Wise didn't dig me back then... why would she now?

You also have to remember, part of it was seeing my friend, but another small part? It would make for great blogging, to finally reconnect and report on someone who has become an oft-asked about character on the Clouds blog. And another small part? I’m still making book notes. Just making sure you know this.

The Clouds in My Coffee Official High School Crush Julie Wise and I sat and also discussed about a hundred other topics that evening, from the whereabouts of many of my classmates, the whereabouts of many of her classmates, why Chris McCall was so obsessed with Andrea Foreman, why Andrea Foreman was so obsessed with Stan McDuffie, the strange relationships of Ryan Frary, including Kelli White AND Stephanie Sheffield, Angiejay’s Facebook dis of me and the subsequent decision to make her a villain in my story I’m writing, Jennifer Herndon, how the town has changed (and thankfully, only briefly discussing the March tragedy which by this point I was tired of rehashing), what happened to her and the tool she was dating, her daughters Bayleigh and Brantley, my unborn children Campbell Isaiah and Lorelei Addison, and of course, the events before, leading up to, including and beyond the afternoon of The Note.

We laughed and had a great time, like friends do, and it was after I had already left town that I realized that in that 2 and a half hour span, we talked more than I think we had done collectively in 3 years around her in high school. The last real time I had spent with The Official Clouds in My Coffee High School Crush Julie Wise was hanging out at Beverly Day’s birthday party (1992?), which I think I was invited to only because I was in the band.

I also remember me and Chris McCall laughing as Beverly Day, Andrea Foreman, The Clouds in My Coffee Official High School Crush Julie Wise and I think Stephanie Sheffield stood on a couple of tables in the yard and sang “I Like the Way (the kissing game)” by Hi-Five. I have a weird memory about things, I think.

Back to dinner, it was around 7:30ish, when it was finally time to depart… she had kids to get into bed, she had to get to sleep herself, and I had to begin a long journey back to the world I know now.

Like I had done with other faces that I had talked to earlier, The Clouds in My Coffee Official High School Crush Julie Wise and I said our goodbyes, and agreed to stay in touch this time around, and hopefully when The Lovely Steph Leann comes with me, I can introduce the two women who meant a lot to me, albeit completely different stages of life.

At 7:30, I turned onto Highway 52, and headed out of Samson, toward Geneva, back from the direction I had already come. I had told Sandy Wright hours earlier that I would stop by her parent’s house and say hello, so when I came upon their county road, I turned right. It was paved, but only slightly… the Wright home is a house I’d been to many, many times as a teenager, both visiting and working. Sometimes I would just hang out with Cristie, other times I would help Forrest paint or clean or whatever, and he paid well. The restaurant closed some years after I started college, but the Wrights own a florist & gift shop in Geneva, and he does, or at least did at one point, sell fencing and siding.

So when I came to the Wright home, imagine my surprise when I couldn’t get in. They have a long white fence that wraps around the property, with a small driveway that I parked in. There was a gate. An immovable gate that I had no clue how to approach. Granted, I could have easily ducked between the wide spaces in the fencing, but the last time I was here, they had a couple of Dalmatians that were the size of Toni Rocky Honda, so I stood for a few minutes, staring at the house. Do I honk the horn? Do I duck under the fence and make a run for it, hoping the Spawn of Spotted Dog doesn’t chase me down and maul me? What do I do? It’s about 7:50 now, the light is fading, so who knows if they even recognize me?

Finally, I decided I would just leave a note. I grabbed a Sharpie, cause you know I lurves me some Sharpies and Toni Rocki Honda contains about 30, and scribbled down:

Forrest & Charlotte

Stopped by to see you both. Didn’t know how to enter the Wright Fortress. Hope you are well, hope to see you soon.

d$

I wheeled Toni Rocki Honda to their mailbox, opened it, put my note in, and left. There was one more stop to make, really, in my Samson excursion… Wal-Mart, though it was actually in Geneva. My purpose was singular… I wanted to walk the store front to back, side to side, and count the paces. Then I wanted to compare it with the Wal-Mart down the street from The Cabana on 280. Back to front, the Geneva Wal-Mart was 73 paces. Side to side, its 103. I’m not joking. And the Wal-Mart closes, which in a city that has about six of them within a fifteen mile radius that stay open 24-7, is unfathomable.

Finally, it was time to go. Through Geneva, back through Enterprise and up to Troy, where I made a quick stop at the FarmHouse Fraternity house to drop off a paddle that was given to me years and years ago by my big brother there… it was time the paddle found a home in the house. Met some of the guys, watched a few minutes of the NCAA championship game, shook some hands and then I was out.

My last stop before home was in Prattville at Steak-n-Shake… I wasn’t even that hungry, having eaten hours before with The Clouds in My Coffee Official High School Crush Julie Wise, but I got a small burger, fries and a milkshake… because its Steak-n-Shake, and I never get a chance to go there. Truly, I miss Denny’s, but I do love some SNS.

My day in Samson was wonderful, not made so by any particular part of it, but by the combination of well wishes, familiar faces and throwbacks to days when it was so simple. I think everyone thinks to themselves how they would do it if they could go back, knowing now what you know. I would think I’d be the coolest guy in school, because honestly I wouldn’t care. Lord knows I’d have better fashion sense, and I’d probably have a change of clothes in my locker to put on as soon as I got to school.

As simple as it seems, though, I am truly blessed to be sitting here in front of my laptop, sitting on a wooden TV tray, which is sitting on an expensive designer rug, sprawled out in front of our leather couches, in a living room directly under the bedroom where the most wonderful, beautiful woman I’ve ever known is sleeping peacefully. All of this is in The Cabana, our house we bought last year, sitting close to a major highway in our town, which means we’re close to everything, including both jobs that we possess and love.

I do have a new found love for my hometown of Samson, and one day, maybe in a few decades, maybe sooner, maybe never, I might go back. Maybe with The Lovely Steph Leann in 2020, maybe as a widower in 2061. And I do have a love for the people I left behind, be it The Clouds in My Coffee Official High School Crush Julie Wise, or Chris McCall or my other two Samson BFFs Tonya and Greg, and friends like Jason Howell (who I’m dying to spend some more time with) and Rona Mock and her husband Ryan (who I’m going to call for dinner in the next two weeks) and especially my mom, who will most certainly die in this town, probably in the next few years. I’ve already decided I’m going to make it a more frequent trip, perhaps once every two months, maybe once per month during football season…

..but in all my remembering where I come from, I’ll be careful not to forget where I am now. And where I am right now is the most blessed place I could be. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna click this laptop off and go upstairs and sleep next to The Lovely Steph Leann.

(one more authors note... when I finish and publish a post, which usually takes me forever, as The Lovely Steph Leann can attest, I read it on the actual website itself, usually to make sure it flows and posts correctly, is spaced correctly, et al. Tonight as I did this for Part IV, my website playlist played "When I Get Where I'm Going" by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton. I thought it was kinda cool. Course, if this were 1993, "You Don't Bring Me Anything But Down" might've sufficed for my dinner guest. Ha!!)

Thanks for reading.

A Quiet Time with a Man of God

What a gorgeous day. You know how sometimes you want to roll the window down, feel the air coming in as you drive, but either its a bit too chilly, or its just too hot, even traveling at 40, 50+ miles per hour, so you end up rolling the window back up, and you have to pipe down the radio, because you had it blaring--blaring out because your windows were down, right?

Today was the kind of day that you could roll down the window and drive, the air felt treeeeemendously awesome and the CD playing could blast away. My CD of choice? "Cracked Rear View" by Hootie & the Blowfish. Normally, I use my iPod, but with the car dock, sometimes its all staticky, and I wanted to feel the air rushing around my head, even in my ears, so I had to dispense with the earbuds...

Hence, an actual CD in my car stereo. And you can't go wrong with "Cracked Rear View", by far and away their best CD of the band's career.

The latest stop on my Reunion Lunch Tour had me meeting for lunch with Barrow, a friend from the old days at Troy that I hadn't seen in at least 10 years. Very good to see Barrow, though next time I have a reunion lunch--or any kind for that matter--its gotta be somewhere different than Chick-fila. Had it like, three times in the last four days. Too much.

Had to stop for gas, as Toni Rocki Honda was gasping for fuel, then stopped off at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) to run up to the theater and pick up a suitcase I left backstage. I was using the suitcase as a prop on Sunday morning's KidStuf performance, another one that we thought would be an unmitigated disaster, but came off extremely well... actually, I worry more about those KidStuf Sundays when everything seems perfect.

The Funniest Man of 2008, Rhett Barnett, and I joked on Sunday that when its perfect, it almost feels as if we're too arrogant, and God puts us back in our place. When we royally screw it up over and over, its as if God steps in and says, "Oh my Me, you guys just need to back up and let me handle this. Geez. Want something done, gotta do it Myself".

Stopped off at the Hoover Public Library to tour the audio books, which they've expanded (still didn't find much of anything good at the time) and the CDs (which they are currently removing for a few weeks to sift through, get rid of old ones and put new ones in the selection). I did pick up a copy of Natalie Grant's new CD, as well as one from Third Day, so we'll see what it looks like.

By the time I had pulled out of the parking lot, the Hootie CD had run its course, so I had change out the music... I was disappointed to learn that I had not put in "The Globe Sessions" by Sheryl Crow in my CD wallet, so I settled for "Sheryl Crow" by Sheryl Crow, which made for another good driving CD.

Took a trip to Starbucks on 119, my current store to pick up my tips, saw my friend MZ and also Lil Sister Ashley, so I conversed with both of them. Got my tip money from last week, and then finally headed to my final destination before coming back to The Cabana... Veteran's Park, where I planned on having a good ol' fashioned quiet time. Though they aren't nearly as frequent as they should be, they are getting more frequent now as time goes by. My prayer of "Help me need a quiet time" has been coming truthful, as I actually want to have one. Strange, I know.


The scene from where I sat at Veteran's Park. Life rocks. Except for the pollen that is now embedded in my Word Sheath, all things are great.


Also came up Paulie Walnuts and his wife, Sammi C, as they were picnicking with Baby Cate on this wonderful Spring day.

I flipped through Luke 23, as directed by my Sunday Scho.... er, Life Connection book that we've going through, but found myself on Psalm 40:

I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn't slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God. -- vs. 1-3, so sayeth The Message

Love it. David knew he was writing for readability, so he broke up Psalm 40 into sections, much like most of the Psalms are, and so it might be nice to take a few verses at a time over a couple of days.

Also, while listening to the iPod on a playlist called "Open Me Up" name for a song by Watermark, one of my favorite bands, a gem came up that, had I an iPod and play count capability in 1997, I would imagine that this song would have had a couple of dozen plays... "Man of God" by Audio Adrenaline, off of the forgotten but much loved "Bloom" album. While its true that I think the band peaked with "Underdog", the aforementioned "Bloom" was great.

Here's my take on Audio Adrenaline... the first CD was just silly. Its kinda like dcTalk's first CD, or their second, "Nu Thang", with the immortal classic "I Luv Rap Music". Shoot me. The second, "Don't Censor Me" was good... it wasn't great, but it was good. It features the oft recited and hand motioned "Big House", which can be annoying if you hear it more than twice in, I dunno, a year. Next was "Bloom", which like I said, was solid but not perfect. I think "Bloom" was the album the studio wanted them to make, and then they did "Some Kind of Zombie", which was excellent (you ever want to get a party going, pop in the title track, or "Blitz", their collaboration with The O.C. Supertones)... but it was like, they wanted to make something more rockin' than the previous stuff, so they overcompensated on the rock effect with "Zombie"... don't get me wrong, its a great CD, but they went from one extreme to the other.

"Underdog" got it right. The fine balance between rock, pop and just a little grunge with some Holy Spirit mixed in all of it was just perfect. Loved that CD, probably listened to it a dozen times or more in the first month it was out. The next several, like "Lift", "Worldwide" and "Until My Heart Caves In" all kind of sounded alike to me, though I'm probably going to give them all another try at some point.

Anyway, my point is I heard "Man of God" again for the first time in maybe five years... and its a great song...

Sometimes I'm a liar, sometimes I'm a fake, sometimes I'm a hypocrite that everybody hates.
Sometimes I'm a poet, sometimes I'm a preacher, sometimes I watch life go by sitting on the bleachers
But I've never been left alone in any problems that I've known
Even though I'M TO BLAME (blog authors emphasis)
There were times when things were dark and I've been known to miss the mark
But Someone fixed my aim

Sometimes I'm a Man of God
Sometimes I'm alright
Sometimes I lay down and close my eyes and pray to God...

Sometimes I don't feel good, its hard to start the day, its hard to climb the obsticles that sometimes come my way
If I make it, I'm a good man. Am I a bad man if I fail?
I know I'm never good enough, so I left GRACE PREVAIL (blog authors emphasis, again)
I've never been left alone in any problem that I've known
Even though I'm to blame
There were times when things were dark and I've been known to miss the mark
But Someone fixed my aim

Sometimes I'm a Man of God
Sometimes I'm alright
Sometimes I lay down and close my eyes and pray to God... I'm ready for the night

Right now I'm alright, right now I'm alright, sometimes I'm alright
I'm alright, I'm alright, thank God, thank God

Cause sometimes I'm a Man of God
Sometimes I'm alright
And sometimes I lay down and close my eyes and pray to God...


The song plays over a screenshot of "Hit Parade", one of their greatest hits compilations.

Alright... its almost 5pm. I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my day off, the day that He tossed at us to take delight in. Cause that's how He rolls. Idol results tonight.

Goodbye, Dear, Old, Undependable, Unreliable, Unfaithful Friend

I bought a car in 2000. Nine years later, I gave it away.

I wrote some general reference notes about my sad, sordid vehicular history, which includes three accidents, more than one (or two) tickets, an arrest (a tale that must finally be told... one day) and a whole lot of breakdowns.


The final day with The Sable... I would guess that many memories of me held by friends involve this red car

The 1999 Mercury Sable Pezochit lasted a lot longer than I ever thought it would, as I took it from 41K to 138K in the time I had it. I actually had this car longer than the Olds, the Buick, the other, cooler Olds and the Blazer put together...

Quite simply, I was driving a 1988 Chevy Blazer in 2000. It was a great vehicle, I was paying for a little at a time--the payments were reasonable, the truck was comfortable, it has character, lots of room and a few fun quirks, like when you plugged in a CD player into the lighter, the radio stopped working, leaving only the tape player. Or was it, the tape player stopped working, leaving only the radio? Who knows.

My issue with the Blazer was that the tires were bald (I remember sliding across a lane as I turned onto Lakeshore Parkway from the Parisian building) and the steering column moved. Literally, I could move the steering wheel up and down, and the entire column moved with it. Oh, and there was once when the truck wouldn't turn off. I drove it to the mechanic, and when they asked me where the keys were, I laughed and handed them over. Then he asked me, "Why is it still running, if I am holding the keys?" I smiled and replied, "And thats why I'm here."

I got a call from the dealership where I purchased the Blazer, telling me that if I wanted to upgrade in car, I could go see this guy named Carl at Jim Burke, and they would get me into something better. What should I have done? Said, "Yeah, no thanks. I'm going to pay off my truck, get it fixed somehow and be done with it." Granted, it would have cost me, I dunno, probably $1500 to get four tires and a steering column that stayed in place... but it was better than the alternative. Which is what I went with.

"Sure!" I said, thinking about upgrading in car. I'm thinking a Dodge Avenger, or a Honda Accord, or maybe not just a Chevy Blazer... but a Chevy TRAIL Blazer. Yee-ah boy! And somehow, I got roped and wrangled into a 1999 Mercury Sable. A family car. A four door. I can handle it, though, because it means less insurance money, right?

Yeah, I guess... but the payments were just too much. Of course, when you do the math with my salary at the time, it actually worked out. I wasn't on a budget though, so when you did the math with my salary, plus my eating out, plus my social life, plus my four credit card bills, plus my rent, plus my other things I'm having to pay for, there was nooooo way it was going to work. So what did I do? I signed the contract, bought the car.

It was about $13,000-ish, maybe a little more, a little less.

Random trivia... my first passengers? Jenn Then Pritchett Now Glenn, and Emily Etheridge, a mutual friend of mine and Amy Valdmanis (I love Valdmanis!).

It drove fine for a while. I made payments for a while. Of course, I was so broke, I couldn't afford to pay the much higher tag fees, so I had the "Jim Burke Auto" tag on my car for the first, I dunno, 7 months or so... which got me in trouble bigtime with Johnny Law. Once again... another story, another day.

But over the course of time, things began to wear down on the car... you know, after a few months. After a year. After another few months. Starters, alternators, fuel pumps, water pumps, headlights, batteries, brakes, brakepads, rotors, motor mounts, sparkplugs, oil leaks, pipes, cords, impounds, tow trucks, speeding tickets... before The Lovely Steph Leann, during our friendship stage, during our off and on and off stage, during our dating-then-seriously-dating stage, during our engagement stage, during the married stage... I feel like there was a breakdown for every stage of our relationship (thats the car, not our relationship).

I actually haven't had a working heater for over three years. It just crapped out. I always figured that Alabama winters aren't really too harsh, so I would survive, and I have, though not having heat in my defrost is pretty miserable when its cold. I would use cassette tape plastic covers to scrape ice, before I got an actual ice scraper, but it would still leave a thick layer of fog on the windshield that was impossible to get off. Many times I pulled off into a stray parking lot to wipe fog and frost off of the windshield.

It was also annoying that the driver side door lock didn't work. I had to go to the passenger side to unlock the car, which was worse when it was a cold January rain, because not only was I wet, when I got in, I had no heat, so I remained cold. Not good times.

Enter Dave Ramsey and FPU, ushering in a new era of fiscal resposibility for d$, with The Lovely Steph Leann playing more than a small part, and we started to saving, knowing that a car purchase was immenent. At what point does a car break down so much that you just have to say "pssshaw!" and do something else?

It broke down on the way home from Starbucks one afternoon... driving down Hwy 280, mid afternoon traffic... I felt it go... I knew it was going... you know how you just know. You know how you can just tell when you're on borrowed time when it comes to your car? Something isn't quite right... I spotted a National Tire & Battery, so I was hoping to make it there. I got into a turn lane, to turn onto the service road and drive on up to NTB. At least get out of this 4pm traffic... and it died, right there as I was about to turn left to the service road.

A Starbucks co-worker called me... "Hey dude, I just drove by and saw you... you need help?" I replied, "No, I just called Triple A. They are on their way. Until then, I will just sit here and blcok traffic", which is exactly what I did. A few minutes later, I get a call from my buddy Croyle, who said that Britlicious, his wife, had just called him... apparently she had also just passed by and had seen me--bear in mind this is one of the busiest roads in all of Alabama, so it wasn't as if anyone could easily pull of and assist... besides, what could they do? Well, Croyle came.

At a green arrow, we pushed the car, not realizing the slight incline that existed there, right as we came off of 280. We got it off the highway, though, thanks to a motorist that was in a nearby parking lot jumping out and giving us that final "umph". The tow truck came, got it jumped off, and I tried to get it down the road... and it died in the turning lane to actually turn into NTB. The tow truck gave me another quick jump, and I finally got it into the shop.

And Croyle? Just a testament to the good guy he his--he just said, "Dude, just drop me off, and borrow my piece of crap car. I'll drive Britlicious' car tomorrow." So I did.

Anyway, long story short (too late!), this past fall Toni Rocki Honda joined us at The Cabana, taking The Sable's spot in the garage, and putting The Sable outside on the curb. Since September.

A month or two back, I was driving it around as Toni Rocki Honda was in for a tune up, it completely shut down on me in the middle of turning left off of Valleydale Road onto Highway 31, a major intersection, one where you just don't want to freeze up. And yes, it was time to call someone.

The final straw came in the power of the Homeowners Association as they sent a "You'd better listen to this" kind of letter, saying "Hey, get that car out off our lovely Beaumont streets!". The Lovely Steph Leann finally turned to me and said, "We gotta call someone and get this car gone."

I did some research on the net, asked for some suggestions on Facebook, and finally, I called The Foundry. And a week or so ago, before I left for The Happiest Place in the Mall, they came by.



The Foundry is a ministry organization in the area that works with the homeless, the addicted and other people who just need help in certain areas. They take car donations, get them fixed, and those being ministered to use the cars to get them to their jobs, as they recover from what they've been dealing with.



It was weird letting go. I mean, yeah, its a car... but it had been with me for 9 years. Heck, I dated The Lovely Steph Leann in that car. And Leslie Cordell. That's a good batting average.



I had cleaned out the car already, as many of you might have seen my Facebook photoalbum, "Things I Found In My Car"... I took it to a nearby car wash, got it cleaned up, and as I vacuumed, I found a rubber chicken, over four bucks in change, a dry erase marker, four small stuffed animals, a keyboard, a mouse, a mini General Lee car, a coat hanger, a big thing of bubble wrap, two notebooks, an ESPN: The Magazine issue from 2005, three bags of coffee, a coat hanger, a whole buncha cassette tapes... and even more. And if you think I'm making any of this up for comedic effect, you'd be wrong.



They loaded up The Sable onto a flatbed, and just like that, the car was gone. And what's terrible slash funny about the whole thing is that the list price was $13,000. Because I had so much trouble with payments, and finance fees, and late payments and so on and so on, the price we ended up paying by the time it was all said and done? Around $22,000.

And we just gave it away. Yeah, we get a tax deduction... but not much. So hopefully it will help out whoever gets it, provided its working and the transmission had been fixed.

Thus ends a long vehicular chapter in the life of d$. Hopefully, my Honda auto be better.