Idol Inspires... and Gives Back

Here I am, its a Wednesday night.  Idol Gives Back is already on, but I haven't seen the performance show.  Its 10 after 7, and I planned it that way.  I'm about to pick up the remote, and watch the performances... then immediately go to the Idol Gives Back show, though I'm not sure we'll see any results this time... when they did this a few years back, they didn't eliminate anyone, they just combined that weeks votes with the following week and dropped 2 people. 

I want to be able to fast forward through some of these performances if desired... so its easier while watching it on DVR.  I have the power, oh yes, I have... the power. 

THIS

IS

AMERICAN

IDOL

Its "Inspirational Song" week here on Idol, but don't think you'll be hearing stuff from Amy Grant or Third Day or Stevie Curt Chapman... no, this is when you just pick songs that... well, inspire you.  Personally, if I were a singer and on Idol, I do one of two songs:

"Standing Outside the Fire." by Garth Brooks.  I think its the video of the Downs kid running on the track team that does it for me.  Oh, and Garth just looks cool with fire all around him.

OR


"Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield.  I do this one only if I were a chick.  Which I'm not.  Digressing....

Its our Top Seven singing this week... Big Mike, C'Bosox, Tim-may, Aaron, CJ, Lee De and Siobhan.  And mentoring them this week?  Alicia Keys.  Okay, so, have you ever heard the song "Falling"?  I'm sure you have... it was every other song on the radio some years back... and don't get me wrong, her voice is absolutely beautiful and haunting... but "Falling" is a terribly written song.  Just my two cents.  Who said "Fergalicious?"  Shut up.

CJ is up first.  Your first clue that this week is not "Inspirational" but "Songs That Make You Feel Good" is that Casey James is doing "Don't Stop", the classic by Fleetwood Mac.  This is one of my least favorite Fleetwood Mac songs... personally, I'm a big fan of "Gypsy", "Rhiannon" and "Say You Love Me"... though who doesn't love "Go Your Own Way", especially because of the bitterness behind it--let's face it, everyone slept with everyone in that group.

Randy says the song was good, but not the best.  Cindy Jo disagrees.  She would vocalize it, except for the drooling.  America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres busts out a real critique... "You have to be great, and I don't think anyone is going to remember that tomorrow".  Kara the New Hotness is frustrated because he's better than that.  Simon the Cowell says he wasn't inspired at all.  And I can agree with that.

Lee DeWyze is doing Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer", which you'd know because it goes "Li la li... (crash) li la li li li la la la la li (crash).  I like that song, but for me, you can't beat "Sounds of Silence" and "Hazy Shade of Winter" (though I prefer The Bangles 1987 version from the Andrew McCarthy/Jami Gertz/RDJr masterpiece of drugginess, "Less Than Zero").  Yes, yes, "Mrs Robinson" is good too.

What is this song about?  Its about overcoming loneliness and poverty in New York City.  So sez Wikipedia.

Randy the Dawg really liked it.  Ellen DeG says it was great, the best of the night so far.  Kara the New Hotness says Lee has his moment tonight.  Simon says that two performances in, it was the best of the night... and then says it was sincere, emotional and inspirational.

Timmy Urban is doing "Better Days" by The Goo Goo Dolls, one of those bands that, almost 20 years later, they keep putting out likable songs.  My personal favorite?  "Black Balloon", though I've admitted that I haven't a clue what its about... didn't stop me from ranking it as one of the saddest songs ever. 

"Slide", however, is a great, great driving song.

Tim-may Urban is having, shall we say, pitch problems.  Randy says it was just so-so.  Ellen DeG compares him to soup that sometimes she likes and sometimes she doesn't... and tonight, she didn't.  Kara the New Hotness didn't like it.  Simon the Cowell is finding it difficult to believe in him, and thinks it was a step back.

Oh dear.  Oh dear, oh dear... "I Believe I Can Fly" by R. Kelly is what Aaron Kelly chose.  Directly from the soundtrack to the groundbreaking motion picture "Space Jam".  You know how some people have said they've never seen Star Wars?  Well, I've never seen "Space Jam".  I'm okay with that.

You know which song I like by R. Kelly?  "Ignition (remix)".  That song rules.  Especially when I start singing to The Lovely Steph Leann, "No I'm not tryin to be rude, but hey pretty girl I'm feelin you the way you do the things you do, remind me of my Lexus coup..." though by the time I get five words into it, she's already given me a stern look. 

Aaron Kelly's version was terrible.  I don't know what Randy the Dawg is hearing, liking it, but wow.  That was dreadful.  Ellen DeG believes Aaron can fly.  Kara the New Hotness loved it.  Simon the Cowell admires the guts to take on that song, but didn't like the performance at all. 

Do you want to know Whitney Houston's worst song?  And Mariah Carey's worst song ever?  Its the same song.  And Siobhan Magnus is doing it tonight... from "The Prince of Egypt", its "When You Believe".  I hate this song, I really do.  I really, really do.

Okay, I'll say this... she's got a great voice.  She sings the song decent enough. But this song... is just terrible.  Just terrible.  I miss the Siobhan from the early weeks of the show... its like she listened to her own hype and wanted to morph into something more "radio friendly", and by doing so, lost what made her awesome. 

Randy the Dawg didn't like it all that much.  Ellen DeG loved it.  Kara the New Hotness said "Technically, it was good.  But it was theatrical".  Simon didn't like it either. 

Big Mike is doing "Hero" by Chad Kroeger.  Once again, from a movie, this time from "Spiderman".  Is this "Song That Make You Feel Good" or "Songs That Come From Movies But Also Make You Feel Good" Week?

Not a huge fan, but after this night, its the almost the best of the junk.

Randy the Dawg liked it.   Ellen DeG liked it.  Kara the New Hotness didn't like it.  Simon the Cowell said it was sung well, and comments that it was from Spiderman.

And in the pimp spot. Crystal Bowersox is ready to blow us all away. I heard she was doing "People Get Ready", and immediately I thought of Crystal Lewis Rapture-Jam, "People Get Ready (Jesus is coming)" and I was all pumped.

Well, this is actually the version from the 60s by The Impressions.  The first verse is sung acapella and Oh Em Gee.  Wow.  Wow.  Wow wow wow.

Sans instrument for the first time, she just blows it away.  And she ends up crying at the end.  And it was so freaking awesome, I'm doing something that I haven't done all year... I'm rewinding it to watch it again. 

Sometimes you see a performance that is just... well, magical.  Amazing.  Unbelievable.  And tonight, Crystal Bowersox just did one of those, one that will be tossed into the ranks when they do those "Best Idol Performances Ever" lists. 

Randy the Dawg says "That was unbelievable" and gives her a standing O.  Ellen DeG says she's beautiful and loved the song.  And DVR cuts out before I hear Kara the New Hotness and Simon speak, but I can only assume they went nuts too.  I just did. 

Tonight...  Crystal Bowersox.  Everyone else didn't matter.

Coming quickly... watching Idol Gives Back...

And here we go...

To give us a heading of how great this show is going to be, its He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected and The First Lady, Michelle.   I just threw up in my mouth.

THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL

GIVES BACK!!!!

I wonder when He Who Must Not Be Re-Elected will start giving back... taxes, maybe?  Personal freedoms?  Government control?  I'll stop before I start kicking things around The Cabana living area.

Seacrest reminds us we can make a difference.  I'm wondering what the over/under is on how many times i'm going to fast forward tonight?  Plus 400? 

Seacrest is hosting, but Queen Latifah is co-hosting over in Pasadena.  I used to totally dig her talk show when it was on.  Tonight... the Black Eyed Peas!  Carrie Underwood!  Joss Stone!  Annie Lennox!  More!  Yeah!

The time is 8:30, so I wonder how fast I'll shoot through this 2 hour show.  Mary J. Blige and Alicia Keys are here tonight too!

Fast forward through the Top 12 reunited (and it feels so good) group song

Fast forward through Jennifer Garner's report on what Idol Gives Back has done for Kentucky

Fast forward through Posh Spice and Seacrest

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Capt Sulley's pleading for Idol Gives Back

Seacrest banters with Jonah Hill and Russell Brand.  Not a funny bit.

The Top Seven sit on the Couch of Anxiety, all dressed in white as per usual Idol Gives Back dress code.  Siobhan Magnus isn't used to such bright happiness.

Back over to Queen Latifah, who introduces The Black Eyed Peas.  I'm completely alone in my chair, and out loud I just said "What the freak is Fergie wearing?"  This song is a prime example of artists who sound great on the radio and in studio but onstage... uh... not really...

Fast forward through The Black Eyed Peas rockin' that body

Todd Bridges is in the audience.  How did he get there?  Shouldn't he be parking cars?

Fast forward through Malaria's greatest hits

Fast forward through commercials

Finally... some results.  I thought they might push back an elimination until next week, but nay nay.  And in another only slightly funny bit, George Lopez is onstage.  Let's dim the lights. 

Lopez then walks to the judges, as if one of them is getting voted off.  He then takes some great shots at both Randy and Kara the New Hotness... Lopez then takes another shot at Kara's affections for Casey James, which then the camera pans to CJ, who grimaces.  He didn't like that at all. 

Seacrest then introduces Lopez as "Erik Estrada", which made me laugh out loud.

Fast forward through the Ford commercial

Now, really dim the lights.  CJ and Crystal Bowersox join Seacrest in the middle of the stage.  CJ looks grim, he knows he's in the Bottom Three or Two or whatever they'll do.  He's standing next to C'Bosox.  And in shocking news, Casey James heads to the Silver Stools of Shame, Crystal Bowersox lives to fight another day.

Aaron Kelly and Lee DeWyze come to the middle... which puts Aaron Kelly in the Bottom Three.  By the way, I called that while Seacrest was still talking.   Aaron heads to the Silver Stools of Shame.

Back to Queen Latifah, lets hear...

No, Fast forward through Jeff Beck and Joss Stone

Fast forward through dying mothers in Africa

Fast forward through commercials and Ban Ki-Moon, the Sect General of the U.N.  Yeah, thats how you get me to donate.  Put the U.N. support behind it.  You could have gotten Bernie Madoff and I would have given it more creedence.

And now, Morgan Freeman.  Can I just tell ya, I think he grand kids must have the absolute best time during story hour with Grandpa.   

Fast forward through Mississippi's poverty kids

Fast forward through Alicia Keys

Fast forward through commercials

Seacrest banters again with Russell Brand and Jonah Hill.  Jim Carrey makes an appearance... and seriously, he looks OLD.  And why break up with Jenny McCarthy?  Wow.

Queen Latifah introduces Carrie Underwood, singing the song "Change".  This strikes me as a song that is going to inspire me, and they'll probably show video of kids.  She looks ravishing... but...

Fast forward through Carrie Underwood.  No background montages of kids, I'm guessing Carrie is too big of a star to have the camera not on her now.

Fast forward through Hungry People montage

Fast forward through a bunch of poverty stricken kids in church

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Bill and Melinda Gates

Fast forward through who I consider one of the least funny people in America, Wanda Sykes

Back to results.  Siobhan, Timmy and Big Mike join Seacrest in the center of the stage.  One will head to the Silver Stools of Shame.  Siobhan is safe.  She goes back to the Couch of Safety.  Big Mike is safe.  Timmy Urban goes over to the Silver Stools of Shame, joining Aaron Kelly and CJ

Fast forward through David Cook

Fast forward through poor kids in Ethiopia

Fast forward through commercials

Fast forward through Annie Lennox in Africa

Fast forward through Annie Lennox, still in Africa

Fast forward through Annie Lennox singing.  She might still be in Africa, who knows.   Her song, "No More I Love You"... one of the Top Ten Worst Songs in the History of the World, in my opinion.  Just saying.

Fast forward through commercials

And we're back.  Its 9:07, and I've gone through 1:52 in just over 30 minutes... back to Queen Latifah and a bunch of others singing "Stairway to Heaven"

Fast forward through Queen Latifah and a bunch of others singing "Stairway to Heaven"

And I fast forwarded right to the end of the DVR recording.  Its 9:09, and I quickly go to Fox 6 to see who gets kicked off... and the show is still going.  Queen Latifah is standing with Sir Elton John, who doesn't look much older than Jim Carrey that we saw early.

Elton John sits to sing "Your Song"

Fast forward through... wait... crap.  I'm watching this live.

Tis okay, though... I can handle this one.  I dig early Elton, before we all knew he was singing to a guy.  I do like that Elton John is on the show, even though he called the show "incredibly racist" after a Season Three Bottom Three featured black contestants Jennifer Hudson, LaToya London and Fantasia (Jennifer Hudson went home).

And a commercial shows that Kristin Chenoweth to be coming back to "Glee" soon.  Looks like I might be watching "Glee" again.  If Kristin Chenoweth was on a show called "An Hour of Watching Leaves Dry", I'd watch it. 

Aaron Kelly is safe, by the way.  I think Timmy Urban is done for the season.

And.... as usual, I'm right. 

Because they were pressed for time, I'm sure, as its now 9:24, they don't even let Tim Urban sing the final song.  They show his "journey" clips, and then cut out.  And thats it for Idol Gives Back.

Okay, okay, here's the number to donate if you want... 1-877-IDOL AID and here's the link if you want to donate.

Those Pesky Jennifer Knapp Rumors Are True

I believe this to be true.  Marriage is between a man and a woman.  I also believe that homosexuality is wrong.  I believe it is a sin, and in God's eyes, not any more or any less of a sin than, say, stealing a magazine from a bookshop or assaulting someone.  Its wrong.  I believe this not from my own convictions, but because I believe what the Bible says is true to be true, to be fact.  Does this mean I don't like gay people?  Not at all.  I know people who are gay who are jerks.  I know people who are gay who are awesome.  On that same token, I know straight jerks and I know straight awesome people.  The person has less to do with it than does the lifestyle led. 

Anyone who just read the above statement and thinks I am a narrowminded, homophobic conservative that is ignorant for not wanting two people to love each other, that's fine.  But you won't want to read the next thing I have to say.  In fact, just go to another website.  Come back later, when I've got Idol coverage.

I had heard rumors that Jennifer Knapp was gay.  And in an interview, she confirms what I already believed to be true.  And it saddens me to no end, it just about breaks my heart. 

There are just a handful of CDs that define my spiritual walk... those include "Jesus Freak" by dcTalk, "Jars of Clay" by Jars of Clay, "All Things New" by Watermark, "This Mystery" by Nichole Nordeman, "The Road to One Day" by Passion... and "Kansas" by Jennifer Knapp.  These CDs, and the songs that make them up, are an intrigal part of who I am in Christ, just as much as people like Shelby, Jenn Mullturp, Troy Mac, Allysong, Chrissy B, The Hall, Rev'rn Ty Coffey... the songs on those CDs tell you where I've been, where I am and where I'm going. 

The line "...there are ghosts from my past who own more of my soul than I thought I had given away, they linger in closets and under my bed and in pictures less proudly displayed..." from "Martyrs and Theives" is one of the most piercing, cutting, soul-baring lines of any song ever to me.  It just cuts right to the marrow of who d$ is in Christ. 

And... my beloved, loved Jennifer Knapp... is a lesbian.  Does this mean I respect her any less?  Certainly not.  I have great respect for who she is, and what she's done.  Does this mean I love her any less?  No.  I still consider her a sister in Christ, and though I've only met her once--and believe me, she wouldn't be able to pick me out of a lineup on Lorna Road (though I'm the only one with no landscaping dust on my flannel shirt)--I still fully expect to see her when we go Home.  Do I like her music any less?  That... that is the question, isn't it? 

I mean, who am I to even try to judge Knapp for the lifestyle she's chosen? Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, is knocked up without a husband, or Fergie or OutKast, two artists I'm a fan of, live the lifestyles they live... of course, Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, doesn't profess the name of Christ, and neither Fergie nor Andre 3000 or The Love Below sing songs that will be on the next Passion One Day album either. 

But... I know a ton of people who love Katy Perry... who used to be Katy Hudson, Christian rocker.  No kidding, I've got her CD. 

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Simpson both either dabbled in Christian music, or professed the name of Christ in no less than their liner notes on early albums--and the lifestyles that they both live now don't seemingly fit well with the verses they put forth then.  But I can dig JT, and Jessica... well, ask John Mayer how she's doing. 

So, what do I do with someone I really like, someone who has meant so much to me, someone who I have looked forward to hearing from again returns... only she returns with a decision made in her life that goes against what I know to be true with the God I believe in?

Well, in Knapp's defense, she doesn't try to decide that.  Her new CD, "Letting Go", isn't being marketed to Christian radio stations and bookstores, and wasn't really written for the Christian audience.

Anyway, I'm not here to judge Knapp, I'm not here to criticize her, and I still consider myself a fan, at the least a fan of "His Grace is Sufficient", "Romans", "Martyrs and Theives" and "Trinity".

She comes clean below... its an article I stole posted from Christianity Today's website, and interview with Mark Moring called "Jennifer Knapp Comes Out".  I really respect Knapp for being restrainted enough to admit that, when it comes to what the Bible says about homosexuality, she doesn't want to discuss the theology, partly because she doesn't know, and partly because she knows there is alot of judgement coming from people staring at her through the wooden plank they've got lodged.  I almost get the sense that she's saying, "Okay, I'm gay, now let's move on because I want to play my guitar..."

You can read the article for yourself on their page, or you can just read it here, placed for your convenience (and to keep you on my site, of course).  Thanks to Tyler the bro-in-law for sending this to me....

You announced your "hiatus" in 2003. Was that a sudden decision, or was it boiling for a while?


Jennifer Knapp: It was boiling for me. I think people thought I just fell into a hole and disappeared, but I had been trying to get out of being on the road 250 days a year. Lay It Down was a 2000 release, and The Way I Am was 2001; those records were literally back to back, and I was touring while recording The Way I Am. I was telling people "Man, I can't keep up the schedule. This is just a little bit crazy." I didn't have any space to just be a normal human being. I finally realized nobody was going to make that decision for me, so I just said, "I'm not kidding. I need a break, and it starts now."

That decision came mid-2001, but my schedule didn't allow me to stop until September 2002, when I did my last show; I basically still had about a year and a half worth of contracted concerts and other things before I could stop.

A lot of people hit burnout, but I don't think many think, I'm going to take seven years off. What were you thinking?

Knapp: At the time, I literally thought I was quitting. I needed such a break, and I needed the silence to be deafening. But in the back of my mind I thought, Maybe in a couple of years I'll come back and give this another go. It was a huge risk to say I may never do this again. It was a real heart wrenching decision.

Once you fulfilled your last obligation, was there a big sigh of relief? Or what?

Knapp: I was scared to death. You just don't leave something that everyone else says is extremely successful. Some people close to me said I was doing something wrong—that [quitting] was a denial of the gifts I had. I was like, Whoa, hold on a second. I'm just asking for a little bit of time. That was a lot to deal with. It took two or three years to get over the rollercoaster ride of emotions. One day I'd be completely angry; the next day completely heartbroken and devastated; the next raging jealous because somebody's out there doing something that I love doing and I can't do it. And some days I was in complete denial. It was almost like a psychological profile of grief. [It took a while] to let the dust settle and figure out what kind of human being was left.

There were rumors that you left music because you were gay.

Knapp: That was a straw [in my decision], but there were many straws on the camel's back at the time. I'm certainly in a same-sex relationship now, but when I suspended my work, that wasn't even really a factor. I had some difficult decisions to make and what that meant for my life and deciding to invest in a same-sex relationship, but it would be completely unfair to say that's why I left music.

Were you involved in a relationship at that time you left?

Knapp: Around 2002, I was starting to contend with this new-found "issue" in my life. But I'd already decided to leave music before I knew I was going to contend with that. I don't want anyone to think that I ran out of town with my tail between my legs because I had something to hide.

Or that you were run out of town.

Knapp: Or that I was run out of town. Neither is true.

When you wrote The Way I Am, was that a veiled statement about being gay?

Knapp: That record means a lot more to me now than it did at the time. That whole record for me was an exercise in the carnal body of Christ manifested. One of the biggest decisions I was wrestling with then was, If I don't do Christian music, am I not a believer anymore?

Why come back now? What has changed?

Knapp: At some point [last year] when I started to write again, I realized that the process was rather organic. I started playing at home, and my friends are going, "Oh wow, that's pretty good. What are you going to do with that?" I said, "What do you mean, what am I going to do with it? Nothing!" The return has been a lot like the way I started music in the first place. We're doing a four-day run of concerts right now, I'm in a van, I just spent half my afternoon driving, and if I'm lucky I get dinner before I play tonight. There's something about that process you've got to love. I just think it took me a lot longer to figure out if that passion was a safe one for me.

You spent about five of the last seven years in Australia, right?

Knapp: Yes. But I've been back in the States since September. During those seven years, I entertained myself for quite some time by traveling. I traveled all through Europe. I traveled through the U.S. for about a year. I was basically a transient for about four years.

Traveling alone or with your partner?

Knapp: With my partner.

Have you been with the same partner for a long time?

Knapp: About eight years, but I don't want to get into that. For whatever reason the rumor mill [about me being gay] has persisted for so long, I wanted to acknowledge; I don't want to come off as somebody who's shirking the truth in my life. At the same time, I'm intensely private. Even if I were married to a man and had six children, it would be my personal choice to not get that kind of conversation rolling.

I understand. But I'm curious: Were you struggling with same-sex attraction when writing your first three albums? Those songs are so confessional, clearly coming from a place of a person who knows her need for grace and mercy.

Knapp: To be honest, it never occurred to me while writing those songs. I wasn't seeking out a same-sex relationship during that time.

During my college years, I received some admonishment about some relationships I'd had with women. Some people said, "You might want to renegotiate that," even though those relationships weren't sexual. Hindsight being 20/20, I guess it makes sense. But if you remove the social problem that homosexuality brings to the church—and the debate as to whether or not it should be called a "struggle," because there are proponents on both sides—you remove the notion that I am living my life with a great deal of joy. It never occurred to me that I was in something that should be labeled as a "struggle." The struggle I've had has been with the church, acknowledging me as a human being, trying to live the spiritual life that I've been called to, in whatever ramshackled, broken, frustrated way that I've always approached my faith. I still consider my hope to be a whole human being, to be a person of love and grace. So it's difficult for me to say that I've struggled within myself, because I haven't. I've struggled with other people. I've struggled with what that means in my own faith. I have struggled with how that perception of me will affect the way I feel about myself.

Are you beyond those struggles?


Knapp: I don't know. I'm the happiest I've ever been. But now that I'm back in the U.S., I'm contending with the culture shock of moving back here. There's some extremely volatile language and debate—on all sides—that just breaks my heart. Frankly, if it were up to me, I wouldn't be making any kind of public statement at all. But there are people I care about within the church community who would seek to throw me out simply because of who I've chosen to spend my life with.

So why come out of the closet, so to speak?

Knapp: I'm in no way capable of leading a charge for some kind of activist movement. I'm just a normal human being who's dealing with normal everyday life scenarios. As a Christian, I'm doing that as best as I can. The heartbreaking thing to me is that we're all hopelessly deceived if we don't think that there are people within our churches, within our communities, who want to hold on to the person they love, whatever sex that may be, and hold on to their faith. It's a hard notion. It will be a struggle for those who are in a spot that they have to choose between one or the other. The struggle I've been through—and I don't know if I will ever be fully out of it—is feeling like I have to justify my faith or the decisions that I've made to choose to love who I choose to love.

Have you ever felt like you had to choose between your faith or your gay feelings?

Knapp: Yes. Absolutely.

Because you felt they were incompatible?
Knapp: Well, everyone around me made it absolutely clear that this is not an option for me, to invest in this other person—and for me to choose to do so would be a denial of my faith.

What about what Scripture says on the topic?

Knapp: The Bible has literally saved my life. I find myself between a rock and a hard place—between the conservative evangelical who uses what most people refer to as the "clobber verses" to refer to this loving relationship as an abomination, while they're eating shellfish and wearing clothes of five different fabrics, and various other Scriptures we could argue about. I'm not capable of getting into the theological argument as to whether or not we should or shouldn't allow homosexuals within our church. There's a spirit that overrides that for me, and what I've been gravitating to in Christ and why I became a Christian in the first place.

Some argue that the feelings of homosexuality are not sinful, but only the act. What would you say?

Knapp: I'm not capable of fully debating that well. But I've always struggled as a Christian with various forms of external evidence that we are obligated to show that we are Christians. I've found no law that commands me in any way other than to love my neighbor as myself, and that love is the greatest commandment. At a certain point I find myself so handcuffed in my own faith by trying to get it right—to try and look like a Christian, to try to do the things that Christians should do, to be all of these things externally—to fake it until I get myself all handcuffed and tied up in knots as to what I was supposed to be doing there in the first place.

If God expects me, in order to be a Christian, to be able to theologically justify every move that I make, I'm sorry. I'm going to be a miserable failure.


You're living in Nashville. Are you in a church these days?

Knapp: No.

The Christian music industry can be fickle. Fans, radio, and retail were angry at Amy Grant for her divorce, at Michael English and Sandi Patty for adultery. But eventually, they were "welcomed" back. How do you think your fans and radio and Christian stores will react to the news that you're gay? Or do you care?

Knapp: I do have a soul! (laughs) I care deeply. It's a very heart-wrenching decision to come into a room knowing that there are many people who just won't come with me. The Christian bookstore thing is probably not going to happen; this isn't a Christian record, and it's not going to be marketed to Christian radio.

K-LOVE won't pick this one up?

Knapp: I doubt it, but there's no reason they can't play it. To me, my faith is fairly evident in what I'm writing, but it's not a record for the sanctuary. That in itself is a huge risk for me—to be able to write without feeling like I've got to manufacture something that's not entirely genuine, to take a song and feel like I have to make an obvious biblical reference. That's not there anymore. I've actually buried it; for me, it's an exercise in liberty. In a spiritual context, will God still be evident in me when I write songs? I sort of nervously wring my hands together and go, Please don't leave me.

You're saying Please don't leave me to God, or fans, or whom?

Knapp: To me, and the divine experience of being a musician—that private world of where I integrate that into my life and where it comes out on a public level, as a song. I have a lot of fans who live in real-life scenarios, not just live within the walls of their church. They aren't surrounded by Christians all day long; they don't just listen to Christian music. I have a lot of critically thinking fans who are trying to sort out their lives as Christians as best they know how. I think as a result of that, a lot of them have been marginalized; they're still seeking to be Christians but not always measuring up to the marketed idea of who they should be.

You're playing live shows again …

Knapp: Yes. My concerts right now include the ultra-conservative hand raisers that are going to make this bar their worship zone. And there's a guy over on the left having one too many, and there's a gay couple over on the right. That's my dream scenario. I love each and every one of them. At the end of the day, it's music.

Are you still playing your old songs in concert?

Knapp: A bit, yeah.

Which ones?

Knapp: "Martyrs and Thieves" I'll probably always play off of Kansas. "Fall Down" off of The Way I Am. The songs still have to speak to me. I had to go back and learn my old songs, but that's been part of my process too—feeling like because I was gay that I couldn't sing those songs anymore. I even said, "Don't give me a [live] set longer than what I can play with this new music, because I just can't play the old music." I just flat out said I wouldn't do it.

But you're already rethinking that?


Knapp: I'm enjoying what I'm playing now. It's been organic. Amy Courts, a gal who's joined me on this tour, said she wanted to sing some of the old songs with me. I was like, Man, I don't know. I swore I'd never play that song again. But we start playing it, and it just hits me right in my heart. It's like somebody else wrote it. I realized that it comes from a very honest, genuine place. I've started to make those connections between the old songs and what I'm doing now. It was an extraordinarily helpful connect, because for a long time I thought it was old life vs. new life. But it's not. It was a real comfort to me to realize I'm still the same person, that the baggage or new scenarios we pick up along the way are part of the long-term story.

The new record is called Letting Go. Is that a statement?

Knapp: Oh, I love record titles! (laughs) I suppose. There's a song called "Letting Go," and it's basically just a struggle to hold onto the things that have been valuable to me. That was one of the last song I wrote going into this, when I started to have a panic attack going I can't do this. People are going to chew me up and spit me out and tell me that I'm worthless. I think the process of writing that song was really helpful to realize that I really enjoy what I'm doing, and I'm not going to let go of my faith and I'm not going to let go of the passion to do music the way I want, in case there are other people telling me I can do neither because of personal decisions I've made.

In the lyrics to that song, who is the you when you sing, "Holding onto you is a menace to my soul"?

Knapp: It changes nightly. It seriously does. And it can change three or four times while I'm singing it. Some days it's my faith. Some days I'm singing to God, like You're a menace, man. It's hard to keep my faith. Sometimes it's music, and sometimes it's being on the road. It's a lot of those scenarios. That song is a bit of a chameleon, because it's all of those fearful moments that want to handicap me from not moving forward, when I'd rather move forward with grace and as much kindness as I can—and make my mistakes and hope that grace will follow me.

So it turns out to be the title of the record. I think a lot of folks around this process have been excited about what it's taken for me to get to this point—to be able to pull a trigger, to be able to go, Okay, really I want to play. A few years back, people were offering me five and six figures to come out and just do one show. I'm like, No, you cannot pay me enough. So that idea of letting go, and just the celebration that this record has felt like—finding music again, finding the passion to face up to a really challenging career but one that's extraordinarily rewarding, that when you lay your head on the pillow at the end of the night you go, Man, I'm bone tired, but that was good. For me, that's what it means.

I'm tired of spending hours and hours thinking about what if scenarios—what if nobody wants it, what if everybody is mad, what if I'm a complete disappointment. Now it's, Here it is. I've got to let it go. That's one of the frustrating parts of my Christian walk, the scenario that if I don't get it right, that I've somehow failed God and failed my faith

There are a few songs here that I would call angry songs. Is that fair?


Knapp: Which ones do you call angry songs?

Well, there's "If It Made a Difference," where you sing, "Sorry I ever gave a damn / Sorry I even tried to waste all the better parts of me / On not just anyone who came to mind." And "Inside," where you sing, "I know they'll bury me before they hear the whole story … / Who the hell do you think you are?" Sounds angry to me!

Knapp: Okay. I'm okay if you call them angry. I prefer to think of them as, well …

Honest?

Knapp: I'm just really enjoying the opportunity as a writer to be able to put a kinetic energy into what's been welling up inside of me. It's great to be able to not feel like I've got to turn that frustration into a happy, cheery …

But you've never been like that, Jennifer. I don't listen to your old albums and think Oh, this is all happy, shiny music. I hate happy, shiny music!

Knapp: I think "angry" is probably … I'm not really an angry person. I'm passionate, and I've certainly been known to raise my voice and pound my fists, but in the heart of me it's not a destructive thing. It's more the type of energy of what it takes when a person's being thwarted. I wrote "Inside" in complete and utter fear to voices in my head that told me that I couldn't be a person of faith.

In the song's third line, you sing, "God forbid they give me grace." Do you really believe that no believers will show you grace?

Knapp: It's a much larger picture than that. I don't want anyone to think the song is targeted at the church, or at the ways we find judgment cast upon us. It's a challenge to break free of that and to own who you really are. That's my heart's cry for anyone I've ever met. It's not on my agenda to convert the world to a religion, but to convert the world to compassion and grace. I've experienced that in my life through Christianity.

"Inside" isn't about the church. It's about me, and how I struggle to be myself daily—honest and truthful to who I really am. It would break my heart if people got through this [album], especially the Christian audience, and found themselves with another artist that was just angry at the church. That's not where I'm at. If there's any anger or frustration on this record, it's the desperation to hold onto what is honest and true, and let the rest of it just burn.

I would be really sad if people thought this was a sword trying to cut up something I've been deeply moved by. Christian music has been a great surprise for me, but I didn't aspire to be a Christian music artist. I aspired to be a Christian in my private life, and I think it's a wonderful side effect that can happen with music—that you can get a lot of people to share in that specific experience. So it would be a tragedy if people couldn't see the forest for the trees, to see the connectivity between Kansas and Letting Go. It's there for me, gratefully, with a big, huge, massive sigh of relief. It's not like I left Christian music because Christian music was bad, or that I'm not participating in church because the church is evil. It's none of those things. For me, it's the journey that I'm on, trying to figure things about as best I can.

You can order "Kansas" here... or pre-order her new one, "Letting Go" here.

Arguing the Hotness of Ashley Tisdale (and other points of interest)

Just got finished with another movie, this time "I Love You Man", starring Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. Met Mikey at Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits after church, and we headed up to the Carmike Dollar Theater for a late night viewing. This has been a common ritual, we find a movie that both want to see, perhaps one that we just don't want to pay $7 bucks for, and we catch it at the dollar theater.

We started this trend while watching "The Marine", starring 5 time WWE Champion John Cena, but this didn't work with "12 Rounds", starring 5 time WWE Champion John Cena, because it was up one week, then gone the next. We also wished we had waited until the dollar theater to see "Punisher: War Zone" from last year. Mikey, you still owe me 9 bucks for that drivel.

As for "I Love You Man", it was funny enough. Not awesome, not terrible, but good for some good laughs. Great moments, Paul Rudd's delivery is solid as always, and Jason Segel is someone I could get used to laughing at. The appearance of Jon Favreau was a welcome sight, too, as it always is. And somehow, the character playing Zoe, Paul Rudd's fiance, got hotter as the movie went on. Found out later it was Rashida Jones, the daughter of Quincy Jones. Not a clue.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Had this exchange with The Lovely Steph Leann while watching Ashley Tisdale's new video, airing in a snippet before the commercials & previews of one of our movies this past weekend:

Me: Ashley Tisdale. Still think she's hot.
The Lovely Steph Leann: She's a baby!
Me: Seriously, she's like, 23
The Lovely Steph Leann: Still, anyone you are ten years older than is... well, a baby
Me: Uh... Dennis Quaid? He's like, 50. Bradley Whitford, too.
The Lovely Steph Leann: (pause) Well... (pause)... I like older men. So there.


See... I think she's pretty hot. Maybe its just me.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I did minor in sign language in college, and though I've forgotten most if it, it still piques my interest. Lil Sister Ashley and I were actually trying to take a sign class at nearby Six Flags of Brookhills, but we weren't able to go alot, and it fell through for both of us.

Still, its my love of sign and Fergie, a championship combination that is solid any way you put it, that makes me think this video is just awesome:

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Toni Rocki Honda is sick. I'm not sure if there's a cure. Apparently, her electrical system is screwed up, and sometimes she starts. Sometimes she doesn't. In fact, she doesn't give any indication of when she may or may not start. Seriously.

Monday morning, that being this past Memorial Day, I went out at 5:20a to drive over to Starbucks and work my 4 hour, time & a half shift. She turned over, but didn't start. Wouldn't start. I took The Lovely Steph Leann's car. Tuesday morning, I had Toni Rocki Honda towed over to my mechanic, Christian Brothers Automotive.

Today I get a call from them, and they basically tell me that something is shorting... out... the relay... switch (I scrunch my face to try to recall what it is that is wrong, and the words that were being used...) and they... can't figure it out...

Brandon: We've been running tests, and we can't figure out whats wrong.
Me: Wow. Just eliminating one thing after another?
Brandon: Pretty much. We haven't even done anything to fix it, but it just started working in the middle of us working on it.
Me: So you'll be doing more tests, huh?
Brandon: That's all we can do.
Me: You know this sounds like I'm on the phone with a doctor discussing the prognosis of my grandmother, right?

Hopefully, they'll figure it out... for all the debt-freedness we have going on, we cannot afford to just write a check for a new car. And car payments are not an option.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

New blog plugs...

Wookiee has his own blog now. He's not as chatty as I am, but he's much more into sports, or at least more knowledgeable, and has random thoughts just like me. You can find his blog right here.

As always, I have to mention Erin the Marine Wife, who has an excellent blog started. She calls it Many Kind Regards, and its all about being a mother and a Marine Wife, and some of her best work is when she dives into the life, struggles and hilarity's (what there are, I mean) of being a military wife. Check it out right here.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Had a house guest here at The Cabana Extended Stay Suites & Resort Spa. About a month or so ago, out of the blue, Tyler the Brother in Law calls up his sister, my wife, and says, "Hey, I got a friend working in Birmingham this summer and doesn't have a place to stay for a few weeks... can she stay with you guys?"

"Do we know her?"
"No. But she's nice and all. You'll like her."


She'll probably kill me that I used this pic, but I lifted it from her Facebook page. It was hard to find, though, because she's with someone on just about every picture.

Her name is Davis-Ann, and that's just the first name. She's been here in our guest room for a few weeks, and today she moved out into the place she'll call home for the summer, at a friend's family place. She was really just wonderful, if I may be so old to say as such, she was quiet, polite, and clean. And she loves her coffee. She's going to hold down The Cabana when we head to The Happiest Place on Earth in a few weeks. She even mentioned us in her blog today... we feel special.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Hilarious spoof. And pretty accurate.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Want me to completely waste time and not do anything? Put me in front of the television, then turn on Investigative Discovery when there's a rerun of Dateline NBC or 48 Hours Hard Evidence. This past Saturday, I completely killed three hours just staring at this channel, as I saw a dentist who murdered his wife for his mistress, and a judge who was killed by a hired gun and another case of a love triangle gone wrong. Heck, its on right now, at 1:04 in the morning, and though I'm not watching it, I know its about some old chick who bought it at the hands of... well, we won't know until about 20 after. And I'll be done by then, hopefully.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Made a new header for Clouds, I hope you like it. I also added pics of those people I often talk about on Clouds, like Mindy D'A, Mikey, Wookiee, J Rob, KT and many, many more. Eventually, I'll link those pics to their respective blogsites, if they have them.

I also added The Dave100 listing on the side, to which I'll add to from time to time. And I'm going to add a section on books I've read this year, so far, and movies I've seen this year, so far.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

And for tonight, that's a wrap.

Idol's Final Results

Well, its 1034pm, I just came in the door after doling out magic for the better part of 8 hours and, thusfar, have made it successfully upstairs to talk to The Lovely Steph Leann before she goes to sleep, back downstairs to check my email and over to Clouds in My Coffee without finding out who won. MZ texted me and told me that the show was really good, and my reply was, "Don't tell me nothing! I can't watch it until at least 10 or 11!" Luckily she complied...

So... let's start, in real time...

BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL'S SEASON FINALE!!!

10:36p... Seacrest stands between The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert and The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen, both dressed in solid white. Sure to be lots of former Idols in the audience, lots of celebs in the audience, there's a Courtney Cox sighting...

10:38p... The judges are introduced, with Randy Jackson, Randy the Dawg, busting up with this big red bow tie. I want to wear a bow tie one day. Its like some accessories... it works for some people, for others, its a disaster... just like The Lovely Steph Leann can wear a hat in church. She knows how to wear it, she looks good, I've heard other people say, "No one can wear a hat like Stephanie Dollar". I wonder if I can do a bow tie.

10:40p... Next is Kara DioGuardi, Kara the New Hotness. There's been some speculation as to whether she's necessary, or needed, or anyone likes her. I thought she was great. And yes, I think she's quite attractive.

10:41p... Up next is Paula Abdul, aka, Paula the Flake. Paula the Blubberer. Paula the Blitherer. Paula the Droolin' Hoobernoogin. That would be our lovely Paula. I've been over how she was awesome back in the day, so I won't go into that, but I will say... she makes me laugh so much. Not just laugh, but look on in confusion and amazement.

10:45p... Simon Cowell, Simon the Cowell, appearing once again in a black jacket and a white shirt. My friend Kevin Spivey reminds me of Simon the Cowell.

10:46p... Those white outfits the Idols are wearing would be absolute nightmares when eating a Dairy Queen chili dog. They cut to Mikalah Gordon, in Conway, AR, hometown of The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen. Mikalah was one of the most annoying Idols ever. Over in San Diego, we see Carly Smithson, who I really like. She's like a better MJC.

There apparently are some mic problems, as The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert and The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen can barely be heard. See, I have a problem with this. This show, American Idol, is the number one show in the country for five months out of the year. Its generated what, enough to almost support President B. Hussein Obama's budget? (or Bush's war, depending on how you want to spin it... well, maybe not either). This is the show that now artists come to to try and promote their new stuff... my point is, when its time for the finale, the producers should have an all-star line up for everything. The best gaffer, the best best boy, the best associate director, the best anything and everything for this show. And, the best tech guys you can possibly put your hands on... all that is to say, there is NO EXCUSE for mics going out. None. None. None. No excuse for any kind of technical glitches short of . But I digress.

10:48p... Doing a P!nk song, "So What", here comes all 13 American Idol contestants from this year. At least I'll get to see Alexis Grace again and... wait, what am I doing? I've been watching the group song! Aaaah!!! Fast forward!!!

10:54p... David Cook doing his latest single, "Permanent". He lost his brother a few weeks ago, and is putting this performance on iTunes, and all the sales will go to a cancer research charity. Classy, classy guy, seriously. Also, a hot Carrie Underwood sighting. And Justin Giarini?

10:55p... The Annual Golden Idols, silly little awards to take hilarous potshots at this seasons who didn't quite make the show. Yes, yes, God loves them all. Yes, yes, we are directed to love them to. Yes, we should appreciate their talents. And yes, this video is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. They even show the guy who makes Barry White sound like a soprano...

10:58p... And Nick Mitchell, aka, Norman Gentle. Part of me wishes he'd made the Top 13. The people over at Vote for the Worst would have collectively passed out at the same time, wondering if there were any better gifts. Norman Gentle wins the Golden Idol for "Best/Worst Male". And he comes up to give a speech... and then he strips. Seriously, I have yet to laugh a single time at this guy.

11p... No kidding, though, man's got some pipes. Seriously. Here's the first duet of the night... Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah with "Cue the Rain". Do any of you remember when Queen Latifah had a talk show? I used to love that show! It would come on Fox every day, and for those Coffee Drinkers not around here, you can hear our local Fox affliate on the radio on 87.7... so, everyday I'd go out and grab lunch, and at 2p, I'd turn it on 87.7 to hear The Queen Latifah Show. Loved me some Queenie L. I also dug The Ricki Lake Show, which was cancelled, giving the time slot to The Queen Latifah Show, which was cancelled, giving was to Maury Povich which, if you've never seen it, makes you feel great about your life...

...mostly because you realize how many people are out there that are more pathetic than you. Did someone say Jerry Springer? At least Jerry knows his guests are completel morons and the show is absolutely ridiculous. Maury Povich wants you to respect him as a serious journalist. Which is why Jazmine is there, waiting on the results of the lie detector test to tell her weather Jamal is actually the father of her cousin Muffy's baby (Jamal says it isn't him, he "ain't neva' been with that ho!") Is he? We'll find out next!

11:08p... Anoop Dogg is onstage now. I guess its another duet, joined by Alexis Grace (just in time, as I was reaching for the remote). And here comes Jason Mraz... I'll be honest... when he first came out with "The Remedy (I won't worry)" I thought he was a flash in the pan. I liked the song, but he kind of annoyed me... but... nowadays, I really like Mraz. "You and I Both" is one of my favorite tunes, pulling in over 20 plays on the iPod. And yes, I'll be interested in hearing Alexis Grace's first single.

11:10p... Here is a video of The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen's journey through Idol. And though you could have forseen The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert and possibly The Widower Danny Gokey making the final two by the beginning of the Top 12 shows, The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen kinda snuck up on some people. He was that guy that people usually complimented by saying, "You know who I have really started liking? Kris Allen..."

11:13p... That being said, I'm fast forwarding through his duet with keith urban.

11:14p... The girls are up now, singing "Glamorous", which I can only guess will have Fergie coming out soon enough. MJC sounds terrible. There's one chick that I can't even remember her name...

Between "F to the E, the R, G, the I, the E" and "G.. L... A... M... O... R... O U S", Fergie should have titled her CD "Spelling Bee".

She's singing "Big Girls Don't Cry". In the same vein of shame that makes me watch movies on The Lifetime Movie Network starring Judith Light and William Devane, I listen to Fergie. I think "Fergalicious" is both the most ridiculous and moronic, yet brilliant and awesome song. I'm now going to turn on the gas logs and stick my head in the fire.


This was one of the tamest Fergie photos I found online. She likes to dress skimpy. Just an FYI in case any of you guys decide to Google "Fergie"

11:16pm... So, all of a sudden, the Black Eyed Peas come out, Will.I.Am starts singing, Fergie jumps in, then everything goes silent, they show an Idol logo, then they cut back to the performance.

11:16p... Fergie. Freakin' hot. She wasn't before, but the break between "The Dutchess" and the new Peas album, plus marriage (to Josh Duhamel from Transformers) has done wonders. She looks amazing.

11.17p... Will.I.Am is pretty good in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", by the way.

11:17p... "Boom Boom Pow" is a pretty cool name for a song, too.

11:17p... Should I start calling myself Da.V.Id?

(by the way, I was looking for the "Fergalicious" video online to post, and I found the greatest Fergalicious tribute EVER. I'll be posting that in a few days...)


Its a little low on video quality... no, I mean the presentation, not the actual video, though some might argue that point... anyway, I think someone put a camera up to their tv. Anyway, I've got the video on my iPod, and yes, I've watched/listened it more than 40 times. I hate myself.

11:19p... More Golden Idols, this time for Best Attitude... and of course, there's Bikini Girl, who, unlike Fergie, hasn't gotten better as time goes by. Then there's Alexis Cohen, the screaming, raging chick who scares everyone. Of course, Bikini Girl comes out, looking as homely as she did before, in her small bikini. Why couldn't Fergie wear that? Seacrest tosses out a great one... "I was going to ask you what's new, but I think I know..." as she throws back her hair off of her... well, her boobalies. She is now trying to butcher... well, not trying, she IS butchering "Vision of Love"... and who comes out, but Kara the New Hotness, as they sing the song together. Kara the New Hotness isn't perfect, but sounds pretty doggone good. Then she rips her dress open, revealing her own bikini. Don't get me wrong, she looks fine as all get out, but what is this, Cinemax Idol?

What happened to "fine"? Does anyone else remember when "hot" was "fine"? If a girl was pretty, we'd say "She is FINE!" and the chicks would discuss guys being "FINE"! Its only the last several years has "hot" surpassed "Fine" as the go-to adjective to describe the shallow, surface only appearance of the opposite sex. I miss "Fine". The Chiffons would have never had a lasting hit with "He's So Hot"... its "He's So Fine".

The Goddess? Fine. Ashley Tisdale? Fine. Amy Adams? Fine. See how it works? Maybe we should bring it back. Oh, and what about Pickles????


You all knew I couldn't end this season without my beloved Pickles!

11:25p... My Next American Idol Allison Iraheta is sitting with Cyndi Lauper, singing on of my favorite 100 songs of all time, "Time After Time". My favorite version of this, though, is by Nichole Nordeman, from her "Live at the Door" live CD, which is just remarkable. Back to the show, for being 86 years old, Cyndi Lauper looks fantastic.

11:30p... Seacrest talks to the Allen family and the Lambert family. Then we cut to The Widower Danny Gokey, singing "Hello" by Lionel Richie... oh, please please please let Lionel come out.. please please please Father in Heaven God please I pray let Lionel come out... why? Cause Lionel Richie is AWESOME and you know this.

Not only that, but this video's unintentional comedy rating is somewhere in the 100s.

And here comes Lionel Richie! Yeah! I am so seriously thinking of growing me a Lionel 'stache. Still reminds me of Chris Tucker in "Rush Hour"... "Lionel Richie ain't been black since the Commodores!" Dude, his Commodore mustache has to be one for the ages... no kidding.

He and Dead Wife sing a newer song, "Just Chill", and then kick it old school by tossing out some "All Night Long", which in retrospect, is just a fun song. We're going to party... caramba... fiesta... forever... all night long (all night, all night)... all night long (all night, all night)... everyone you meet, there's dancing in the street (all night)... everyone you meet, there's dancing in the street (all night).

When I worked at Cox Radio, I spent time on the Rob & Shannon Morning Show, and as a result, I got meet some fun celebrities, however B-List they might be. I met Fred Travelina, and Rodger from Survivor Outback and Harry Anderson, and honestly, I don't get starstruck. Just never do. However, when I met Kevin Pollak, I was star struck. I was like, "Wow, its Kevin Pollack, holy crap!" and my friends later said, "You get star struck over the oddest celebrities..."

I think if I ever met Lionel Richie, I would be star struck, in a way that I wouldn't be if I met Jon Bon Jovi or Bono or any of the Hootie guys.

11:40p... We now see The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert's journey through Idol. Let's be honest here... the guy has a great voice. I mean, really, you can't deny how good he can sing. For someone who doesn't have a trained voice, I can tell he can sing, but for those who have trained voices, they think he can sing even more so.

Its not the outfits... heck, I (I just had to pause the DVR, because The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert just appeared on stage, wearing the weirdest outfit ever, which I didn't understand until I heard him sing the words... "Beth I hear you calling..." which made me nod my head and say, "Yeah. Gene Simmons. That explains it.") loved 70s flambouyant crazy Elton John--his best music was from that day and age. Its not the Ambiguously Gay Gayness, cause no, I'm not a homophobe. We don't even know if he's gay. He's never told us he was. I mean look at Clay Ai... I mean... look at Lance Ba... um... I mean, look at... oh, forget it.

Its the screech. I hate it. I can't stand it. Perhaps in the same way that some Michael Jackson haters didn't like the "woo!' and the "shi-moh!" in his music, thereby causing them to not like Michael Jackson. For me and The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert, its the screech. Drives me nuts. Do I want to see him win or lose? I don't care. Seriously. I'd rather have The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen win, but I'm okay with The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert winning. Does bother me that his boots are consistantly covered in saliva from the judges licking his boots every single episode.

11:46p... YES! YES!! YESS!!!! I channel Beavis & Butthead as The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert finishes "Beth" and introduces KISS!!! The entire band, full makeup and everything...

You know, if I were The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen, I'd be hacked off. He got Keith Urban... and The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert gets KISS???? How is that remotely fair? Typical of this show. And there's a screech, sandwiched between Gene Simmons and Ace. And in case you had forgotten the screech sound, he gives you another. And one more. And another. Like, four in a row? I'm not sure my brain can handle his brilliance.

11:51p... Santana stands on stage, doing his guitar mastery. Matty G, who also is very, very lucky, sings the opening verse to the classic "Black Magic Woman" before Santana busts into "Smooth", which is a great song. I think I lost my taste for "Smooth" because during that year, it was played about 9,388 per day and I heard it almost that many times... I think radio stations were just playing only that song... "This is 99.3, Smooth FM, playing 'Smooth' over and over non stop. All 'Smooth', all the time. 99.3 Smooth FM".

11:53p... Was that Rachel McAdams in the audience? Fine.

11:54p... Ford Music video! Where's the remote! Featuring David Cook! Awarding them their own 2010 Ford Fusion! Wouldn't The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert rather drive a Scion?

11:55p... Megan G, Mike the Oil Welder (I can't remember which he does, oil or weld, so we'll go with both) and... Steve Martin. That's right, Steve Martin. MJC, who still cannot sing, has this look on her face that is cracking me up... while Mike the Oil Welder is seemingly really enjoying himself, knowing this is as good as its going to get for him, music wise, MJC has this "Okay, so The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert gets KISS... The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen gets Keith Urban... freakin' Lil Rounds, who didn't even make it to the Final Five gets Queen Latifah... and I... I get Steve Martin playing a banjo? This is what I get???"

11:58p... And now, the new trailer for "G-Force", another film in the long line of crappy talking animal films from Disney... when I saw on IMDB that "G-Force" was in the pipeline, I was really excited, because I thought it was a long overdue movie version of the classic 70s cartoon, "Gatchaman", also known as "Battle of the Planets"... "G-Force". I was mucho disappointedo when I found out it was about a covert group of secret government agent spies who happened to be guinea pigs. Sigh.

12:01a... More music! I keep waiting for Scott the Blind Vampire to do some stuff with someone.... Ronnie Milsap? Stevie Wonder? All the Idol guys are doing "If You Think I'm Sexy", which is a song that The Eyebrowed One should never be allowed to sing... cause he ain't.

12:03a... Here comes Rod Stewart. Those familiar chords that we all know and love lead to... "Wake up Maggie, I think I've got something to say to you..." When I'm at Starbucks and make a drink, and the name on the cup is "Maggie", I usually say "Wake up Maggie I think I've got a drink for you..." out loud. And I laugh at my brilliant wit and fantastic humor.

12:05a... Rod is old. And this is painful. I'm not sure his hair has changed since 1976. Fast forward.

12:06a... The Outstanding Female Golden Idol nominees... and we have a sighting of Tatiana the Annoying. Can you imagine a Final Two with Tatiana the Annoying and Norman Gentle? Fox would go bankrupt and Rupert Murdoch would kill himself. You know who gets this award... Tatiana the Annoying.

So... I'm not sure if its staged or not... but Tatiana the Annoying comes to the stage, Seacrest tells her they have to go to break, she runs onstage and grabs the mic and starts to sing, Seacrest and several security guards are chasing her around the stage, she is still singing...

Cut to Ruben Studdard in the audience, with a total "What the..." look on his face. I agree, Big Daddy, I agree.

12:10a... The new Transformers movie trailer makes me giddy. Absolutely nerdy giddy. That big robot looking like a bad-A unicycle? Awesome.

12:10a... Did anyone else notice that they haven't gone back to Mikalah Gordon or Carly Smithson for anything?

12:11a... The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert and The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen stand side by side, singing "We Are the Champions". And out comes Queen, sans Freddy. I totally think the The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert should do an album of Queen songs, because I can totally see him becoming a Freddy Mercury of the 2000s. Let's pray without the AIDS part.

12:14a... Drives me nuts when I hear radio stations play "We Will Rock You" and don't play this song immediately after it. They are two different songs, but MUST be played back to back. While "We Are the Champions" can stand on its own, though I don't think it should unless its the ending credits of "Revenge of the Nerds", "We Will Rock You" needs this song to follow it. This is the only acceptable way to hear "We Will Rock You". It's like playing "American Pie" or "Lyin' Eyes" and cutting off the last verse just to save time. Unacceptable. Let's move on.


NOT EMMY TURNBOW SAFE... three curse words line the dialogue. But this is one of the few acceptable usages of "We Are the Champions" without "We Will Rock You". And a classic ending from a cheesy, awesome 80s movie.

12:15a... I'm also excited for "Funny People", with Seth Rogan and Adam Sandler. And Leslie Mann. Leslie Mann? Fine.

12:18a... Alright, let's finally get to the end of this season and this episode, also entitled "Foregone Conclusion". Simon the Cowell gives them both a little encouragement, and Mr. Bean Counter comes out and hands Seacrest the results in a sealed envelope.

12:19a... Dim the lights.

12:19... And your winner is...

12:20... What?

12:20... What? What did... what?

12:21... (rewinding DVR, looking around for The Lovely Steph Leann's possible sabotage of the video to make the ending she wanted to happen actually happen...)

12:21... Kris Allen. Huh.

12:21... Didn't see that coming.

Postscript... Had more than one or two people comment to me today about how terrible that song "No Boundries" was. And right now, I have to believe that The Ambiguously Gay Adam Lambert is soooooo freakin' happy he doesn't have to sing that song again.

Where will The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen rank amongst Idol winners? No way he reaches Carrie Underwood or Kelly Clarkson. I think David Cook still surpasses him, but I think he'll have a better career than Jordin Sparks and certainly Taylor Hicks... Fantasia has done more outside of music, but strictly with music, he'll take her out too.

AND FINALLY... I hope that you've enjoyed my take on Idol, and I hope that you will continue to stop by Clouds in My Coffee even thought Idol is over this year. And if you like it, if you get a laugh out of what you read, or you enjoy my take on life and pop culture, or disagree too, then tell a friend.

Kris Allen, huh? Hm. The Lovely Steph Leann? Fine.

Kip Comes to Jacksonville's Idol

Welcome to another late night of American Idol... I is your host, d$, here at The Clouds in My Coffee Blog, ready to give you the running tally of winners, losers and those off to Hollywood. Tonight, we broadcast from Jacksonville, Florida... do you know that per area, Jacksonville is the largest city in America? From what I've heard, its also one of the most boring, but I've never been there (seen it as I drove around it on the interstate). Anyway...

THIS IS.

AMERICAN.

IDOL.

We see a flashback to the band Journey, showing Randy Jackson onstage... Paula Maddox would be proud, Steve Perry lover that she might be. Or is. Of course, the Journey song they choose to play over the video is "Don't Stop Believin'". My personal favorite? "Separate Ways". "Some day love will find you, break those chains that bind you, one night will..."

Wait, we're starting!

Here's a guy, up first, who is proud of being compared to Justin Giarini. Guarini. Whatever, who cares. He's going to take on Marvin Gaye, "Let's Get It On". Joshua is the guys name, but it doesn't matter what his last name is, cause he sucks. Entirely.

Got a note from Mindy D'A who told me that some guy on this show reminds her of Kip from "Napoleon Dynamite", so I'm looking forward to that!

And... he gets a yes. What? What? He will be that guy that screws up the trio performance and blows it for two other people.

Sharon Wilber brought her Shi'Tzu dog, Sasha. Sharon is a looker... she passes off the dog to Simon, and will sing "Superstar" by The Carpenters. If The Lovely Steph Leann were here, she'd be on alert, as The Carpenters might fall into her Top Ten Of Freakin' Everything, if she had such a list.

She sounded a little like Britney Spears on that audition, Simon and Randy say yes, Paula and Kara mock kiss each other, Kara pulls up her probably-too-low-but-not-really-for-me-okay-yes-too-low dress, and Sharon goes through. Welcome to American Idol, Season VIII.

We go off to break, and we come back from break... Ryan Seacrest is touring Amelia Island, just outside of Jacksonville, in a golf cart, he says, "While I'm fighting gnats, Dana Moreno is fighting a losing battle with Chaka Khan."

Oh, how right Seacrest is... this chick just hit some notes that actually cause some of the paint in the living room of The Cabana to peel back. How will I explain this to The Lovely Steph Leann? Wow. Simon gives her some direction... out of the room.

Anita Baker's "Rapture", a tall order for 16 year old Kaneswa Finnie, but she's full of confidence. And from the first "bum bum", you know... its terrible. Idol was actually building her up to be pretty good... and wow. I almost grabbed the blanket and held it over my own face, in The Lovely Steph Leann's honor. That was simply terrible.

Simon calls Kaneswa's mom in, and drills her about how bad her singing is. Simon is wrong, of course. Mom says, "She's my American Idol!" And she can have her.

Julissa is Miss Florida Latina USA. I wonder if they have Latina USA contests in like, say, North Dakota, or Idaho? If I'm a 19 year old Latina hottie with aspirations of being in Miss Latina USA, I'm totally going to Montana, where there can't be that many (legal) Mexican hot chicks. The competition is probably a lot less fierce than, say, Texas or California. And yes, I just typed "If I'm a 19 year old Latina hottie..."

Anyway... Julissa is taking on Whitney's "I Have Nothing", one of those that you should never, ever, ever, never sing. And she doesn't do too bad... but her laughter? Awful. She has this gawd-awful heh-heh-heh going on. Paula gets offended at Simon and Randy, Paula walks out, Kara looks on in confusion, she comes back, Julissa reappears, Randy says yes, Paula says yes, Kara says yes, Simon reluctantly says yes. And everything that I typed just now was happening right as I was typing it. My fingers are out of breath.

Darin Darnell, a perfectly goofy stage name, is all about dancing, meeting people, bouncing around the room and is being built up to be...well as this show is progressing, who knows. When Darren's friend gets cut, he suddenly is unsure of everything. Confidence is gone.

Boyz II Men's "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye" is his song... aw, its my class song. A song about death. Darin just took a song about death, and killed it. Is that even possible? If Nate, Mike, Shawn and Wanya (the members of Boyz II Men, to those of you under 25... you know, ABC, BBD, the East Coast Family... three points to whoever can tell me ABC and BBD stand for!)

Oh, they cut Darin.

Here's the montage of tears. Naomi Sykes is the final contestant of Day One. I like that name, Naomi. What about Naomi Dollar as a 2nd daughter's name? Naomi goes on and on about her best friend who wants to meet Randy, the friend comes in, and she ends up sitting on Randy's lap. Naomi is going to sing "Loving You" by Minnie Riperton, known for a high note that has, at last count, killed 32 dogs over the decades.

Seacrest is in Kara's lap, Paula is in Simon's lap and Naomi just kicked Minnie Riperton in the face. Seriously. Naomi says the immortal line, "Everyone tells me I'm great." When Simon says, "Are you serious?", she cries. She then laments, outside, that she doesn't know what she did wrong. How about muck up a song that was already bad enough?

Nine people get golden tickets on Day One.

We move to the next day, and 16 year old Jasmine comes in. She hails from Starkville, Mississippi, and is going to take on "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie. Rock it baby, rock it... she did really great! Does it tell my age that when she said she was singing "Big Girls Don't Cry", I automatically thought of Frankie Valli's version in "Dirty Dancing"? Oh, Jasmine gets through.

George Ramirez is an FSU student who is studying physics. He must be smart to study physics, but he goes to Florida State, so he can't be that smart... ha! Jokes!

This might be the guy who Mindy D'A has compared to Kip. And she's totally right. He really should be singing "Yeees, I love technology... but not as much as you, you see..." George admits he has never sung in public, just around his friends. That was a strange, strange audition.

Anne Marie Boskovich flatters Kara by telling her how much she loved her singing. She sings a little bit, and they tell her to come back later and be "another person", or to be herself. They don't feel like she's a superstar just yet.

TK is back from last year's audition, ready to try again. "Imagine" is a hard to sing, but TK pulls it off. And he's putting his own spin on it, which is always good (see: Cook, David) and doing quite well with it. They tell him he was a little over the top, but they send him through by a 3 to 1 margin, with Simon dissenting.

There's a great montage of various family members, telling the cameras how great their own kids are. Michael Perrelli has a backstory, something we didn't have much of tonight! He learns that he can't play his guitar in the audition, and starts crying. Literally starts crying.

"Jumper" by Third Eye Blind is his song of choice. He doesn't do a terrible job, but not great. Simon says that Michael would struggle in the competition, and Kara nails it--she knows he needs the guitar.

Simon tries to tell him to start a band, be better, and when he starts crying, Simon says, "You're getting on my nerves". Tough times! And outside, he's still crying. Holy crap. Have a spine, suck it up.

Anne Marie comes back, has better hair, a new outfit, found a makeup artist. "Bubbly" is her song, and she does great with it. Randy says yes. Kara says yes, Paula says yes, Simon sends her to Hollywood.

Sixteen tickets came out of the Jacksonville auditions, meaning only 7 made it on Day Two. Wow, harsh judges!

Montage of everyone, good and bad, trying to sing "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina & the Waves. Even Kip, er, George, sings a little bit.

What's amazing to me is how there is an entire stadium of people try out, and SEVEN make it.

Tomorrow night, I think it might be the last of the audition episodes, this time from Mormontown USA, that being Salt Lake City! Make sure you read the blog to see who makes it, who doesn't, and if Simon or Randy pick up a few wives each!

Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Blog

So, I'm all tired, half awake, half dozing on our comfy leather couches, its all quiet at The Cabana, The Lovely Steph Leann is in the kitchen doing up a dessert for The 38th Annual Nipp New Year's Luncheon tomorrow... I'm even wondering if I'm going to make it to midnight--I cannot remember a New Year's midnight I've missed, but I might miss this one...

...and then...

...I turn on ABC's "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, featuring Ryan Seacrest". Ryan is looking his American Idol bestiest, and he is standing with some of today's hottest young acts... there's the wonderful Taylor Swift. Her new album is fantastic, her first album is also fantastic, she's going to be great. Behind Ryan there stands Demi Lovato. You'll know her soon enough, if not already, most notably from "Camp Rock", and she's even got her own Disney show coming up.

And then, with Demi and Taylor, to the right of Ryan, are three of the biggest guys in the world, the Jonas Brothers. They are all laughing, and having a great time, as they should with standing on platform in Times Square, minutes before the ball drops.

But who is doing most of the talking? Not Taylor, she's not saying a word, she's just smiling. Not Demi, she's just behind the Jonas Brothers, as if she knows her place right now. Not the Jonas Brothers, though they are jumping in here and there. No, not even Ryan is doing most of the talking.

No, instead, its... Lionel Richie.

When booking talent, deciding who would be great to appear on the show, figuring out who should be with Ryan at what point in the show, and who should perform (Ne-Yo just did), who in the world wrote:

"Demi Lovato, Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas and Taylor Swift to be with Ryan Seacrest, flanked by Lionel Richie"

Not sure if that guy should be flogged or promoted.


If I'm Lionel Richie, I'm keeping the 'fro. When this album came out, Taylor, Demi, Nick, Joe or Kevin weren't even around. Seriously.

So, its currently 1115pm, 45 minutes left in 2008... but on the West Coast (wessss syyyyddde!) it's only, what, 915? And who better to bring in the new year than Fergie! She's so Fergalicious!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

So, down in the street, its Pickles! In much the way you like stuff that makes you smile embarrassingly and say, "I can't help it, I just do!", I love me some Pickles. She's so... well, so Pickley. Kellie Pickley.

She's down in the crowd, talking to different people, with this weird boofy haircut, and very odd eyelashes... and yet... she still looks gorgeous! Its Pickles!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Let's talk about Dick Clark. The guy is coming up on his 142nd birthday, and we all know that he had a stroke a few years ago. Now... if I am doing a job and that job requires me to perform a task that an illness or disaster or tragedy has rendered me unable to perform in a solid, satisfactory manner, I will perhaps step back from that duty.

Not Dick. He keeps on trucking, perhaps uncomfortably. Okay, let's be clear, I am in no way making fun of his speech, or his mannerisms or his condition--he's a solid Hollywood Legend, and I grew up watching TV Bloopers & Practical Jokes, and American Bandstand (sadly, past its heyday even in my childhood) and $25,000 Pyramid (which really seems like nothing compared to the millions given out by Deal or No Deal and other shows. I digress)...

...but Dick Clark is a little scary. Really. When I see him talking, he's got this tooth that you can see, and it looks pointed. The stroke keeps him from moving part of his face, so he's got this pointy tooth, freakly facial look.

Oh, stop fussing at me, you think it too.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Over on Fox, they are overachieving as always. There are about five different reporters, none of which I've ever heard of, reporting from around the country, but notably from:

1) Vegas, where Robbie Knievel is attempting to jump something with a motorcycle.

2) And somewhere where we get a behind the scenes preview of Cirque de Soleil.

Or... I can go back to ABC and see Pickles!


I choose Pickles! She' so Kellie Pickley!!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

It's 1134... in New York, the ball has already dropped, so now we are treated to performances from Natasha Bedingfield (I gotta pocket gotta pocket fulla sunshine...) and Jesse McCartney, who apparently had a big year with his hit "Leavin"--do I need to stop reading so much and listening to Talk Radio and start turning on The Q, Birmingham's Hit Radio Station, so I can keep up with this stuff?

We also were treated to The Pussycat Dolls. There are jokes here. None of them are proper for a family blog, and most, if not all, are a result of very little sleep in the last 36 hours added to the fact that I'm a boy and edgy humor makes me giggle.

And another who had a big hit in 2008... Robin Thicke? What the?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Over on Fox, they have this joke segment where cameramen are running up to various strangers who bear a resemblance to actual celebrities, and taking their pictures. And now, we send it back to Chrissy Russo, with Spanky Spangler, the stunt coordinator for Robbie's jump!

(note to you, coffee drinkers, I made neither one of those names up)

I think it was a few years ago--The Lovely Steph Leann says last year, I don't remember--that KT and J Rob and The Hawbakers and The Croyles and whoever came over and we watched some sort of jump on ESPN (well, actually I know it was last year they came over, I just can't remember when the jump was), taking place at midnight, forsaking all ball droppings and Times Square coverage, pinning our entertainment quota on whether the stuntman makes it or doesn't... he made it.

Jess Hawbaker lamented that she felt bad for kinda wishing he would crash, but wow would it be fun to watch.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

DNC-TV, also known as MSNBC, has Rachel Maddow leading up to midnight, which is in about 16 minutes.

I think I'm going to start my own liberal newspaper, and call it "America Sucks".

Fox News has a show called "U Party 2009", and there is someone singing that I can't identify. It's probably a country song, because its one of those emotional message family songs.

I waited for the song to end, which couldn't come fast enough, and the guy said "Thank you!' and they cut to commercial. That's terrible.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Back to ABC's "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve" and I'm looking at who I can only guess is Solange Knowles, Beyonce's little sister. That's So-Lahn-Jay, by the way.

And Solange, for lack of a better term, has a yellow unibrow. A real, yellow unibrow. The Lovely Steph Leann just walked in, carrying a glass of something and a box of Raisinettes. She stopped, looked at the would-be-pretty-chick-on-the-screen-save-for-the-yellow-unibrow and just said, "Oh."

As the show went to commercial, the announcer said, "Coming up, performances from Jesse McCartney, we'll go to Times Square with Ryan and check in on the West Coast with Fergie!"

The Lovely Steph Leann then said, "Uh-uh. No."

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

So, its 7 minutes til. I ask The Lovely Steph Leann if she has any thoughts for the new year. I think she sees me typing, and simply says, "Happy new year."

And we're back on with more Jesse McCartney.

--channel flip--

Seriously, I do want to say best wishes and prayers to those guys and gals overseas, and even here in the military. Thanks to you guys for all you are doing. And a special thanks to Jodie in Enterprise and Erin Formerly Coates Now Whitehead and all the others out there who are here while their significant other spends tons of time away, protecting me and my freedom to write this blog.

Thanks.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Back from commercial on Fox, we've got 2:05 left in the year of 2008, and The Lovely Steph Leann perks up when she sees Robbie Knievel on his motorcycle. She gasps, "Oh my gosh... we're doing this again?"

Another nameless reporter down at Times Square (Pickles is much better) is telling us its 17 degrees, but the wind chill is 2 degrees. If it feels like 2 degrees, then... its 2 degrees, right?

And... 10 seconds.... 9 seconds...

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

3 seconds! 2 seconds! A single second left in 2008!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Big Willie Clinton and his wife Hillary were the official "Ball Droppin' Button Pushers", or whatever. That means they push the button that made the ball drop. Is it bad that I wanted Hillary to break the knob or something, because I had about fourteen "ball busting" jokes lined up. Alas.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

American Idol is coming back to Fox in a few weeks. And I'll be blogging every second of it, like an obsessed fan. Maybe I am, or maybe its fun to talk about. Who knows.

Back on Fox, another nameless reporter is talking to the Cirque de Soleil people... apparently, this version is an adult version, including "naughty bits" (their words, not mine) and transvestites. That might be the first, and hopefully the only, time we use the word "transvestites" on Clouds in My Coffee.

That might have been the most uncomfortable two minutes I've ever seen on my television.

The other nameless reporter is covering Robbie Knievel, discussing the upcoming stunt. He just said, "We'll give you some scenarios in which tonight might not be so happy."

Uh... wrecking?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Why I want to call Jess Hawbaker and tell her to turn on the television right now? They are in Denver, but this would be worth the viewing.

Robbie Knievel is going down a ramp, down the street, up a ramp and jumping a manmade "volcano" fulled of pyrotechnics and such, in the front yard of the Mirage Casino.

And in case you have a volcano in your backyard, or any pyro, don't try this at home.

And here we go... Robbie is off... he jumps... he lands... and for the second year in a row, its totally anti-climactic.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Flipped back over to ABC, to "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve" and whaddya know, we got Corbin Bleu singing on the air, in front of Cinderella's castle. As Brad Latta could easily tell you, Corbin plays Chad in High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

What an hour we've had... Ryan Seacrest, Dick Clark, Robbie Knievel, The Lovely Steph Leann, Pickles!, Fergie, Solange, Solange's Yellow Unibrow...

Don't forget, starting in the next couple of days, I'll be counting down the 100 Coolest Things of 2008, my annual list (the 4th year!) of the best things of the year that has just been completed.

But for now, I bid you goodnight, and Happy New Year!