Speaking of Random Thoughts

So, this is the stuff I was thinking about while watching Episode 7 of Season 6 of "Grey's Anatomy", sitting at my table with my laptop, while The Lovely Steph Leann stretches out comfortably on the couch...

He's not Colin Firth, but he's Top Five for
The Lovely Steph Leann

She loves her some Dr. Bailey, and Patrick Dempsey is a key member of Firth's administration in The Colin Firth Club, while I think Mark Sloan rocks, and dig Arizona Robbins... wait, did I just say any of that?  Forget I wrote that...

Speaking of Disney World...

So, here's the reason I've been so lagging in blogging in the last few weeks.  About a month ago, our pastor at Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) and his family asked The Lovely Steph Leann and I for some pointers on Disney World.  Pastor Calvin and his wife, daughter Hillary and her hubby and 2 year old girl and daughter Alissa and hubby Joey and their two boys are all headed that way, and its a combination of "never been" and "haven't been in a few years" and "haven't been in a long time"...

Well, after a three hour lunch meeting, we were just getting going.  Alissa had written about five pages of jumbled notes and such, and I'm not sure she understood everything we were saying (she had Mickey's PhilharMagic spelled Mickey's Filler Magic... I laughed heartily) so at the end, when we were running out of time, I said, "Let me write your notes." 

And over the course of a month, I wrote some notes.  And more notes.  And more notes.  And I added sections.  And then chapters.  And then a table of contents.  And at the end, it was a 53 page not-even comprehensive guide to Disney World from our perspective. 

The Lovely Steph Leann took it to edit, and after three days of assembly, it was bound in a folder, with the great title "DISNEY ON A DOLLAR"... that was the name she created for the Disney Travel Agency that we had discussed...

Personally, I think its a great guide.  And The Lovely Steph Leann says simply, "We aren't giving this out to anyone.  If they want it, they have to hang out with us.  Maybe treat us to dinner!".  So there ya go. 

But that's a completed project, so I'm back!  Rock on. 

Speaking of syrup on the fingers...

I hate having my hands sticky.  Like, really sticky.  Or even partly sticky.  When I'm standing at the espresso bar, and I reach over and pump four shots of vanilla, it sometimes drips on the back of my hand.  Or I have mocha on my fingers.  Or moving the frappuccino pumps around, it drips on my palm.  Hate it, hate it, hate it.  I consider that to be one of the things I'd probably hate most about being on Survivor--my hands getting sticky and not being able to wash it off.

Don't get me wrong.. I don't mind "dirty".  I can put my hands in mud and dirt, I've potted many plants and cleaned many drains and scrubbed many toilets and so on, so I have no opposition to getting my hands dirty.  As long as they aren't sticky. 

Speaking of making messes...

I would love to tell you the following is a fake, but its not.  I would love to tell you that the following is needless and silly, and maybe it is... but I can see the use for it. 

Its called The Slobstopper, and its a real commercial, and sure to be found at Target, Kohls and Wal-Mart in that crazy "As Seen On TV" aisle and/or end-cap soon enough.  What is the Slobstopper?  Its a bib for adults.



Sometimes for a mid-afternoon, or an after work snack, I'll drop by Daylight Donuts and grab a donut and a small bottle of whole milk, and what I've learned the hard way is when you open the whole milk, it spills out the top.  Its done this twice, in my car as I was driving.  The first time, I had a nearby cloth towel and was able to wipe most of the mess away.  Of course, it was good that I had that cloth because I was also munching on a coconut cream filled turnover, and that cream splurted out onto my shirt, my shorts and on the fairly new seats of Red Robin. 

If I have a complaint about my Kia Soul, and I have very, very few, one would be that the seats get dirty really easily.  Just add coconut cream.  And whole milk.

The second time, I was less prepared, and though I had no coconut cream filled turnover, the milk spilled even worse, and I only had a Starbucks apron within reach.  I guess there is no use crying over it.

But had I Slobstopper?  My problems would melt away... as would the milk and coconut cream.

Speaking of being tired...

You know you are tired when you wake up at butt-thirty in the morning and are already looking forward to laying down in the afternoon for a little rest spell.

Speaking of doing puzzles...

I'm not much of a "fighting style" video game guy, like "Red Dead Redemption" and "Halo" and all that rot.  Not that I don't really understand them, its just too many buttons on most controllers.  My fingers aren't that dexterious.

However, I do like puzzles and puzzle games on video.  And in a book.  Mazes rule.  I love mazes.  Crosswords are fun too. 

Word searches are fun, but only if the list is fun.  Like, when I pick up a word search puzzle, I'll flip past "Architectural Designs" or "French Military Victories", but if I see something cool like "Russell Crowe Movies", I'm like "Where you at 'Gladiator'?!".

By the way, the "French Military Victories puzzle has like, one or two things to find. 

Speaking of holding your breath...

When I'm watching a film and a character has to swim underwater, I always hold my breath as long as they do to see if I would make it.  I usually die. 

Speaking of good food...

Had dinner the other night at a joint called Rags downtown, in the Lakeview District.  Let's be honest, I only know its the Lakeview District because when we pulled up, I was told that it was the Lakeview District by our double dates for the night, Melanie and Chris Z.  It was Chris' birthday, so he was in fine spirits, Melanie looked great as always, The Lovely Steph Leann is always nice to have on the arm, so it was a great night.

The food was reasonably priced, and the atmostphere was fun.  Its a former hair salon turned into a bar/cafe, which contains a bar and five tables.  We had to wait for a table for a few minutes, but we were able to sit down and munch on Italian type food and appetizers. 

After we all shared a big plate of fried green beans, I ate shrimp pesto pasta and it was really great.  Dinner with friends is always great. 

Speaking of The Deucecast...

In case you don't know me or haven't heard me, we done been starting us a podcasty thing.  A podcast called The Deucecast.  You can find it on iTunes under "The Deucecast" and download individual 'casts (I recommend Episode -1... that's negative one... and Episode III: Podcast of the Sith) or subscribe to all of them. 

You can also find it on our website The Deucecast, and get show notes and download shows, see a few pics, and find some other fun stuff as we progress.  Find us on Facebook and like us, too.

What's it about?  Pop culture stuff.  Movies, music, entertainment news, gaming stuff, and lots of humor.  Hosted by Mikey, Matty and myself, new episodes are usually available for download on Fridays by midday.  Come join us!

Milking It

Boy, is it cold outside... (how cold is it?!)... its so cold... that I wanna make like, fifty global warming jokes right now! 

It is quite cold, though.  And we've had FOUR straight days of snow... thats one-two-three-four, and I don't know that I've seen that here, or at least have been through it.  I'm sure you people reading in Detroit and Denver and Boston and Cleveland are saying, "Psshaw!  That's nothing!  You and your inch of snow..." but its not even the snow so much as it is the ice.

I'm sure that people in New York laugh as us, but you have to understand, its not just the snow, and its not just the ice, its also the bad, bad drivers.  People around here barely know how to drive on pleasant, partly sunny and breezy 73 degree days in late April... stick them behind the wheel of a two ton vehicle, toss some ice on the road, knock the thermometer down to below freezing and the a dash of over-correcting, a hint of nervous twitching and some inexperience in the conditions, and you got a mess.... a cold, rainy, icy mess.  Yes, NYC drivers are terrible too, but they have experience at being terrible, which makes them pretty good at it.

I almost slipped three times getting out here.   Usually,
this road, at this time, has hundreds of cars on it.

When I got to Starbucks on Monday morning--we opened late, due to it being so icy and barren--the main highway, that being Highway 280, was empty.  I stood in the middle of the north bound lane and snapped a photo at 910 in the morning, a Monday morning, and saw nothing.  Nothing but grey skies, a slow moving car, a stalled truck on the side of the road, and dirty ice, sleet and snow spread all over the lanes, over the median, and gloom and cold. 

We get deliveries of milk, pastries and essentials (vanilla syrup, espresso beans, etc) a couple of times per week, and when I got in that morning, the milk and supplies had been delivered.  The boys who deliver the milk aren't the brightest in the business, I dare say... our big fridge in the back has three doors.  2% milk goes in the fridge door on the left, nonfat goes in the middle, and the rest--whole milk, half-n-half, heavy whipping cream, orange juice--go in the door on the right.  Open up that fridge at any time, and its pretty easy to see how it goes.

Yet, our milk guys like to put milk everywhere.  Open up the left door, where the 2% milk should go, and you see two shelves of 2%, a shelf of non fat, there will be a shelf of half 2% and half nonfat, and even half-n-half, all shoved disorganized and scattered.  Each shelf will hold 20 gallons of milk, but if you just toss them on there higgledy-piggledy, you're lucky to get 15 or 16.  Not that I'm expecting these milk boys to organize every single thing as they deliver, its not their job to do so... but seriously.  It almost seems like they try and goof it all up on purpose.  I've spent many a early morning moving milk around, wiping up leaky dairy on the bottom of the fridge, a dozen jugs of heavy cream strewn about the floor, moving gallons of milk from the top of one shelf to the bottom of another, from the middle of one shelf to the top of another, and so on.  But I'm not bitter.

Where was I?

Ah yes, milk deliveries.  Well, they delivered Monday morning.  We went through Monday, and survived, we got through Tuesday and survived, and come Wednesday morning... the delivery had no come.  We were alright, mind you, we had a good forty gallons or so of 2%, but by early afternoon, we were down to 13.  You might think "Wow, you went through 27 gallons of milk in one day?" and to that I answer, "Psshaw... we go through 27 gallons of milk before 10am sometimes." 

At Starbucks.  She looks great.  I don't.  As usual.

So, Melanie, or MZ as I have called her on this page previously, is not only one of my best friends, she's also my manager.  So Best Friend Manager Melanie tells me around 1 to head to Wal-Mart and get some milk, perhaps 20 gallons.  

Wal-Mart is our milk destination of choice when we run out, as we've made several trips there over Christmas to buy it.  It was never a case of Best Friend Manager Melanie not ordering enough, it was a case of, our fridges not being big enough to hold all of the milk we needed.  We'd have 100 to 120 gallons of 2% milk easily on Friday morning, and need milk again by Sunday evening.  To Wal-Mart we'd go.

Melanie had to get milk once, and it happened to be a on rainy, dirty, cold Decmeber day when bad weather was approaching, one of those James Spann Takes Your TV Over kind of patterns (sort of like we've had the last few days).  So here she is with two shopping carts full of milk, trying to get from the back of Wal-Mart to the front of the store, probably 40 or 50 gallons.  And she hears nothing but snide remarks from people, like "That's a lot of milk!" and "Got some kinda party, dontcha?"  One kid even said, "You should have just bought a cow."  She glared at him.  Melanie, love her, but her glare is pretty daunting.  As her subordinate, I know this glare well.

Where was I?

Ah, yes, milk. I had my own milk experience a few weeks ago, once again close to bad weather.   As I stand by the milk case and put in 33 gallons of milk into my cart, none other than Cindy Jo walks over and makes the obligatory, "You gonna leave some for anyone else?" comment.  I told her what I was doing, and Marky Mark Warner then walks over, and says, "You gonna leave some for anyone else?" 

And as I pushed the cart through to the register, and of course, had to stand in a line for a few minutes, I heard several comments... I mean, I guess its natural, because you don't see people with 33 gallons of milk in their shopping cart, but for me, its not out of the ordinary.  I told the lady in front of me in line that "my wife is obsessed with making sure she doesn't get osteoporosis, so she drinks a heckuva lot of milk" and I told the chick at the register that we were having "one crazy PG party for Christmas!"

This is what a shopping cart filled with 33 gallons of
milk looks like

So, my whole point of bringing this up was that I had to go to Wal-Mart today for milk.  As I walked into the grocery side, I randomly passed two moms, with their carts parked right in the middle of the main aisle.  The carts were angled, with their front corners touched.  A mom stood on the handle end of each cart, just chatting away, and as I passed them, I heard one mom say, "Where are you staying?" and I heard the other mom say, "We are staying at The Contemporary." 

Must be nice.

Anyway, got to the back of the store, and waited as this older lady just stood in front of the milk door.  I assume she was deciding on what she wanted, either 2% (on the left) or whole milk (on the right), but my problem was that I had left the store to come get milk, and really needed to get back.  I noticed the older lady had a huge bottle of wine sitting in the middle of her cart, and all I could think was, "This is the last person that needs alcohol..."  But, who am I to judge, right?  Right.

She finally moved after a minute or two, and I rolled my cart up, opened the door and hauled out 20 gallons of milk.  Unlike the previous milk expidition, I heard nary a comment from anyone... after the last four days of snow, ice and cold weather, I guess people thought I was just getting ready for the next round.  The moms were still parked in the dead center of the aisle, and as I passed by, I heard the first mom say, "Well, we had a great time when we were there." and the other mom said, "Its Disney, so you know they will..."

What they will do, I never found out because I was in a hurry.  Got to the register, waiting in line, and was almost out, almost got away without anyone saying anything... and up walks Big Phil Glassco, father of Rebecca Glassco Figart, and a former stallwart of Valleydale Baptist Church... and Big Phil Glassco says, "Man, you got some milk there, dontcha?"  I just smile, shake his hand and say, "Hey, we got caught off guard a few days ago... never again!"

The milk was delivered via Red Robin, and I came home not too long after that... and bundled up, because its cold.  Its cold now.  And at The Cabana, at this very moment, we have no milk here, and I'd love some.  Ironic.

Red Robin (and other thoughts)

Four Random Thoughts

1. Melanie Names a Car
After purchasing the KIA Soul on Friday night, I was able to drive it off the lot... I love love love driving this car, no stinkin' joke.  Its such a great ride.  The issue was that Toni Rocki Honda was still sitting the garage of The Cabana. 

Red Robin's front end

The Lovely Steph Leann had a Creative Memories Open House on Saturday--by the way, have you seen the books that The Lovely Steph Leann does?  You give her pictures and an idea of what you want, she creates this incredible yearbook type book with your pics and your notes and memories.  Her email is StephDollarCM@gmail.com, so make sure you let her know you need her services....

...So, she was out of pocket.  I call upon someone who is always willing to help, that would be Melanie Z.  She agrees to drive with me out to Center Point to drop off Toni Rocki Honda, and get a few of my questions answered, that being "Where is the hood propper upper?", "Can I get some washer fluid?" and "The owners manual shows you need a special KIA adapter for the iPod auxiliary jack, so I need to get one of those."

Melanie Z and her oldest, Jay Z, arrive, and they both love the KIA Soul.  I give Melanie Z the directions to Serra KIA "Up 280, down 459, back on 59, right on Roebuck Parkway which becomes Center Point Parkway..." then I ask her, "Do you want to drive the Honda?"  The fact that she stared at me with a "Are you freakin' kidding me?" look and then proceeded to get into the vehicle itself told me that she was, in fact, driving the KIA Soul.  Then I called out, "Hey Jay Z, you wanna ride with me?" which was also answered by the fact he jumped into the passenger seat of the Soul.  Melanie Z laughed and said, "Uh... what do you think he wants to do?"

Red Robin's back end

We drive out to Center Point, and I get my questions answered, that being "the propper upper is on the underside of the hood, not the engine", "parts department is closed" and "no problem, we will get it ordered for you".  I gave over the key to Toni Rocki Honda to an older guy named David, and that was that.  I nodded my goodbye to Toni Rocki, and walked back to the KIA Soul, with Melanie Z still sitting in the driver's seat.

"Alright, time to go," says me.
"Okay, hop in," Melanie Z replies.
"Um..." I start, waiting for her to get out of the drivers seat. "You like the car?  Like driving the car?"
"Yeah, I love it!" she laughs.  "So, get in."
"I'm driving, Melanie," I say.
"Fine," she grunts.  As Jay Z starts to say, "Mom!  I'm riding in front!" Melanie Z cuts him off... "Get in the backseat!"
"Mooooom!!!!' he stammers, as he gets out and climbs in the back.

By the way, the KIA Soul didn't have a name yet... The Honda was, as I've oft mentioned, Toni Rocki Honda, named for a combination of Toni Braxton and Pulp Fiction, and the Mercury Sable before it was my 1999 Pezochit, named because it was... well, you get it.

I share this with Melanie Z on the way back, and how I had mentioned to The Lovely Steph Leann that I thought of "The Hamster", for the commericals... though I wasn't sold on calling my car "Hamster" for the next four or five years.  She pops up with, "What about... Red Robin?  You know, like the burger place.  Reeeeeed Robin!" 

And as soon as she says it, it clicks.  Red Robin it is.

2.  d$ Gets a Seatbelt
I guess I should share one last Toni Rocki Honda story.

On the way back from Starbucks last week, after working a 12 hour day and doing Christmas set up, which is always a major undertaking, I just wanted to get home.  I had my iPod, hooked onto my belt, and was just finishing Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince (I zipped through Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows in the weeks leading up to the movie) and while driving, I was a bit irritated by the way the seatbelt buckle was sitting on the iPod on my waist.

First... I don't always wear my seatbelt.  Well, I didn't always wear it, now I do, but that's later.  I know, I know, you can give me a hundred stories of people who didn't want to wear their seatbelts and are now dead, paralyzed or have killer hangnails because of it.  I get it, its safety, its secure, its nothing you can tell me that The Lovely Steph Leann doesn't tell me a thousand times.  Cause she loves me, that one does.

So, I get it, don't innundate me reasons why I should always wear my seatbelt.

Anyway, that night, I WAS wearing it.  I pulled up to the red light, in the double turn lane from Hwy 280 to turn onto Valleydale Road.  I unbuckled my seatbelt, tossed off my shoulder strap, and then took the iPod off my belt, and placed it in the console.  I didn't see the police cruiser pull up beside me.

The light turned green, so I moved forward, and didn't buckle the belt.  I chose to wait until I was out of the turn of the major intersection, and when I was moving forward, straight onto Valleydale Road, I buckled my belt again... and thats when I saw the blue lights behind me. 

I quickly glanced down at my speedometer, and I was going about 35 in the 45, because I was still accelerating.  I thought quickly to things that had derailed me before, including my tag (it was fine), my license (I had it renewed three months ago) and any outstanding tickets (none, thankfully). 

There was a car ahead of me who I saw had immediately applied the brake lights.  The car turned onto  Inverness Center Drive, which is the road you travel down about a half mile to get to my subdivision, and I follwed.  The police pulled behind me, and as I pulled over, the cop did as well.  The car ahead of me floored it, and zoomed away.  I would have done the same.

I grabbed my license out of my pocket, and placed it on the dash.  The bright spotlight behind me kept me from seeing the officer approaching my car.  He shone his flashlight in my car, in my face, and asked for my license.  I reached up on the dash and handed it to him.

"Mr. d$, I don't know if you just put that belt on or what, but when I pulled up beside you, you didn't have it on."
"Yes sir," I sighed.  I opened my mouth to tell him that I had it on, and I had taken it off for a second, just long enough for him to pull up and see me with out it on, but I figured that's just like a speeder saying that he'd done the speed limit except for those 100 yards when he was doing 70. 
"Don't know if you were aware of it, but there was a major accident in Chelsea this weekend where three people were killed... two of them wasn't wearing their seatbelts, Mr d$."
"I didn't know that sir," I sighed.  Again, I opened my mouth to say something smart like, "Well was the third person wearing their seatbelt", but quickly closed it again.
"Can I see your insurance information?"
"Yes sir, its in my console here," I said, turning around and opening up the middle compartment, pulling out the little piece of paper and handing it to the officer.

He walked away and I just sat there waiting, in silence.  The officer came back, handing me a ticket, telling me that I had until December 15th to pay it... in Columbiana.  Its already been documented that I'm not a fan of The Glorious Road to Colombiana, so I had a feeling I would be sending this in, either by mail or online.  I asked him how much the ticket is, and he said, "Well, I know it was $10, but I think they recently raised it to $31". 

Of course they did.

So I got my ticket and drove about 200 feet to my subdivision's entrance. 

By the way, I totally wear my seatbelt now, in Red Robin, if for no other reason than that ding ding ding ding noise is really annoying when you start the car and don't buckle in.

3. The Laptop Gets a Cold
My laptop is down.  I'm using The Lovely Steph Leann's own laptop, and am cool with it for now, except I can't update my iPod, which is maddening. 

I've gone through three audiobooks--Harry Potter 5, 6 and 7--and have doubled back and am now listening to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkibahn.  Its a little strange, though, because I just got done hearing about the heroics of Sirius Black and how Harry dominates the Dementors, and in this book, Sirius is the villian and Harry cowers in front of the Azkibahn guards.

I hope my laptop gets better.  I really want to hear my podcasts.

4.  Starz Gets Some Color
Here's what I love about the channel Starz in Black... if you make a film that has like, one black dude in the background, your film is eligible for appearing on Starz in Black.  Right now, the Bruce Willis movie "Surrogates" is on.  There aren't a whole lot of black people in this film.  Coming up later tonight, a movie called "Beyond a Reasonable Doubt", starring Jesse Metcalfe, Amber Tamblyn and Michael Douglas, three very white people.  Seems like Orlando Jones is representin'...

Of course, also coming up later, is a movie called "Life is Hot in Cracktown", and judging from the cast list, they are overcompensating.