What's funny is that I had no intention on doing an entire post on the sports misery that is Cleveland, Ohio, a town I've never been to, nor really paid much mind to. But as I watched The LeBron Circus begin on ESPN, a network I both love for its sports and columnists and loathe for its shameless self-promotion and "look at me!" spirit, I started looking online for Cleveland info... and wow, it sucks to be a Browns, Indians and, after tonight, a Cavs fan.
Sitting here watching "The Decision", a special on ESPN about where LeBron James is going to play next year. Part of me is thinking "holy crap, are you serious? an entire show about him deciding where to get overpaid a ridiculous amount of money?" and part of me is thinking "holy crap, are you serious? an entire show about him deciding where to get overpaid a ridiculous amount of money?"
Quickly, LeBron is one of two best players in the NBA (the other being Kobe). He's been the face of Cleveland sports for 7 years, a town that hasn't won any sort of sports championship since the 60s, a town that has been so beaten down time after time in one scenario after the other.
Look no further than this clip:
When your town's sports failures have their own nicknames, nay, a list of nicknames, its bad news.
First, the Cleveland Cavaliers...
"The Shot" -- In May 1989, fifth game of the opening round of the NBA playoffs, Michael Jordan pumps a long basket over the Cavalier's Craig Ehlo. The shot goes in, the buzzer sounds, the Cavs go home, and thus a "Clutch" legend is born.
"The Sweep" -- The 2007 NBA Finals featured Cleveland in the finals for the first time in their history, and LeBron James first championship appearance. And they got slaughtered by the Spurs 4-0.
"The Choke" -- The 2009 NBA Playoffs. The Cavs won 66 games, and were upended in the Eastern Conference Finals by my Orlando Magic, 4 games to 2. The Cavs were a far superior team, but didn't have the team chemistry the Magic had, and it showed when they got beat down.
"The Forfeit" -- The 2010 NBA Playoffs, second round, the 61-game winning Cavs went up against the Celtics, a team that essentially backed their way into the postseason, then proceeded to beat the Cavs 4-2. Game Six of the series was LeBron's "mailing it in" game, and to me, kinda told the world that he had no intentions of coming back to Cleveland. He was indifferent, he wasn't that good in the game, and it proved that if LeBron doesn't have a good game, the Cavs suffer... meaning, the Cavs didn't surround Bron with good role players. And this is another reason LeBron left, because you one guy cannot win a title. (This has also been called "The LeBromination", though I think I like "The Forfeit" better just for the sheer "We gave up, we don't give a rip about our fans or winning jack" that it presents)
Then, the Cleveland Browns... "Red Right 88" -- More obscure than many, the Browns trailed the Radiers by 2 in the 1981 AFC Playoffs, but were driving and were setting up for a game winning field goal. The play was called "red right 88", meaning the quarterback was told to throw the ball away if he saw anything less than "wide open". QB Brian Sipe forced a pass to Ozzie Newsome, but was intercepted by the Raiders, who went on to beat San Diego in the AFC Championship, and then the Eagles in Super Bowl XV.
"The Drive" -- I loved this one. In the 1987 AFC Championship, my beloved Broncos, led by John Elway, drove 98 yards to score and tie the game 20-20. Denver won in overtime by a field goal.
"The Fumble" -- I loved this one too. In the 1988 AFC Championship, my beloved Broncos couldn't stop the Cleveland Browns, and the Browns Earnest Byner seemed on his way to a touchdown to tie the game, when he was stripped of the ball by the Broncos Jeremiah Castille at the 3 yard line. Broncos recovered, gave up an intentional safety, then went on to win 38-33. Two years in a row, the Browns were smacked down minutes away from the Super Bowl. Its worthy of note that the Elway led Broncos got drubbed in both Super Bowls, first to the NYGiants then to the Redskins.
The Broncos wouldn't win a Super Bowl until they took two in a row in 1997 (defeating the Packers) and 1998 (defeating the Falcons). The Browns have never been, and haven't won a football related championship since 1964, when the Browns won the AFL Title.
"The Move" -- Perhaps the biggest knife in the heart of Browns fans. In 1995, team owner Art Modell up and moved the team to Baltimore, itself a city in which their beloved team was snatched away because of a greedy owner (when the Colts moved to Indy in 1983). Cleveland was awarded an NFL franchise in 1999, and since then, has had two winning seasons and one playoff appearance..
And finally, the Cleveland Indians...
"The Catch" -- Oh, the misery of the city dates way back. The Indians last won a World Series in 1948, so in 1954, "The Catch" wasn't percieved as a beginning to disappointment. Game 1 of the 54 Series, the NY Giants and Indians were tied 2-2 in the eighth. The Indians Vic Wertz hits a monster shot to the wall, but with Willie Mays quite simply being Willie Mays, he ran the ball down, made an on-the-run over the shoulder catch, then fired the ball back to the infield to get another guy out. The Giants won the game, and swept the Series.
"1995" -- The Indians by all accounts were favored to defeat the Atlanta Braves, who were in the Series for the third time in five years. The World Series was cancelled the year before due to the strike, so this Fall Classic was huge for baseball, for the Braves and especially for the Indians, who made their first Series in 41 years. It was a hard fought series, as five of the six games were one run contests, and Game 6, when the Braves clinched the championship, was a 1-0 combined one-hitter.
"The Single" -- Once again the Indians, in the World Series for the 2nd time in 3 seasons, were favored, this time over the fairly new franchise Florida Marlins. Favored or not, they went to a Game 7, when in the 11th inning, Edgar Renteria hit a single off of Indians closer Jose Mesa. The single skipped off of the glove of Charlie Nagy, up the middle and allowed the Marlins to score--and win the series.
"The Collapse" -- That's just a brutal nickname to begin with. And its worse when you realize that in the 2007 American League Championship, the Indians were up 3 games to 1 over the Red Sox, when they were outscored 30-5 over the last three games. The Red Sox went on to win the 2007 World Series.
Even in the movie "Major League", when the Indians make the post season by beating Clu Hayward and the hated Yankees, we find out in "Major League 2" that the Indians didn't make the series. They can't even win in fiction.
And tonight, Cleveland basketball prepares to die. Its over. LeBron James has announced he is joining DeWayne Wade and Chris Bosh on the Miami Heat, putting together a "Big Three" that will be considered an utter failure if they don't win 60+ games and a championship. This year. Not next year, not in two years, but starting in October.
And if they don't win, the legacy of LeBron James will be questioned, and though no one can question how good he is, people will question his team player abilities. He's past the point when Michael Jordan won his first title, and the same for Kobe, and with 7 to 8 quality seasons left, barring injury, matching MJ's 6 titles, or even Kobe's 5, is almost unthinkable. Shaq's or Tim Duncan's 4 titles might be a stretch, depending on how the Wade/Bosh/James trifecta perform together.
To sum up LeBron, and the ridiculousness it is to put on a American Idol type show for him to simply say "Miami", I turn to one of my favorite authors and columnists, The Sports Guy... he writes:
I can't wait to watch for the same reasons I couldn't turn away from O.J.'s Bronco chase or the Artest melee: it's Car Wreck Television. If LeBron picks anyone other than the Cavaliers, it will be the cruelest television moment since David Chase ended "The Sopranos" by making everyone think they lost power. Cleveland fans will never forgive LeBron, nor should they. He knows better than anyone what kind of sports anguish they have suffered over the years. Losing LeBron on a contrived one-hour show would be worse than Byner's fumble, Jose Mesa, the Game 5 meltdown against Boston, The Drive, The Shot and everything else. At least those stomach-punch moments weren't preordained, unless you believe God hates Cleveland (entirely possible, by the way, just ask d$ on one of my favorite sites, "Clouds in My Coffee"... okay, I added everything beyond "by the way"). This stomach-punch moment? Calculated. By a local kid they loved, defended and revered.
It would be unforgivable. Repeat: unforgivable. I don't have a dog in this race -- as a Celtics fan, I wanted to see him go anywhere but Chicago -- but LeBron doing this show after what happened in the 2010 playoffs actually turned me against him. No small feat. I was one of his biggest defenders. Not anymore.
I mean … what the hell kind of sporting event is this? It's like college signing day crossed with JFK's assassination. LeBron's team wanted to keep people talking and promote his website, and really, that's what happened. The man nearly exploded Twitter and melted ESPN. He transcended free agency, the World Cup, everything. He will draw a massive television audience tonight; he's the only professional athlete who could have pulled that off.
What a week for LeBron's brand. I just hope he remembers to wipe the blood off the knife after he pulls it from Cleveland's back. (From "Countdown to the LeBronocalypse")
As it stands, the Indians are 33-52 at the All Star Break, and 14 games from Central Division leader Detroit. The Browns had a decent draft, but are coming off a season in which they were dark horses to win the division, ending up with 5 wins total. We've already discussed the Cavaliers. I'm sure its a nice town and all, and I'm guessing that Philly fans have their own list of curses, but at least they have the Phillies.
One step closer to revealing what is the absolute, bar none, most awesome, Coolest Thing of 2009... but first, we have nineteen more things to discuss. And here's ten more, starting with...
The 20th Coolest Thing of 2009... "Where We Eatin', Y'all?" On my blogroll on the right, there are over 20 blogs listed. My rule usually is that if you don't update your blog in two months or so, I take it off the blogroll... of course, I'm still expecting to be on theirs, so its a hard double standard line to toe.
There are several who do update on a regular, or semi-regular basis, which include:
Happy Harper Stories... Married mom of two, Jaime, shares stories of family and kids, but mostly I like to wander aimlessly around her blog--her set up is much better than mine. B&W Daily Photos... Former Deucemate and Pimpalicious Shawn Sharp simply takes a photo each day. Sounds simple enough, and it is, but its a fun little site showcasing some great talent. Life's Random Happenings... One of my kids, Betsy, has this fun little random site she writes on, and I'm actually enjoying her list of things to accomplish before she dies.
And then there's this little beauty... its got this ridiculously clunky title, almost too long to remember, but long enough that you'll remember enough of it, called, "Where To Go Eat Or Not Go Eat... And Why", and its not so much about restaurant reviews as it is about the legendary Barnett Curse.
When its $10, $20, maybe $30 bucks for Amarilys By Morning (up from san antone), her husband Hurricane Rhett and their daughter Raspberry Vinaigrette to eat, they do okay. Mostly. The Lovely Steph Leann and I had dinner with them the other night, things went swimmingly.
When they fork over the $100 for dinner at the fancy schmancy places, they do okay, like you usually do when you are paying that much for dinner.
But when it gets between $30 and say, $70... all bets are off. Everything from waiters making racial jokes to time lapses of more than a few hours from arrival to departure. They wreak havoc on restaurants when they show up, not on purpose... but the Bad Service Fairy hovers over the place from the time the Barnetts walk in to the time they leave. And it makes for a great blog.
The 19th Coolest Thing of 2009... "Sunshine Cleaning" From April 2009 (written a year ago today, which tells you how far behind I am on getting this Top 100 finished)...
A couple of days ago we saw "Sunshine Cleaning". This was one I had been waiting on, as the previews looked wonderful and it helps that I'm in love with Amy Adams. Amy plays Rose Lorkowski, a 30 something woman who's life hasn't turned out like she hoped. Rose is not making much money, her son is a problem child, and she's having an affair with a guy that she knows down deep will never leave his wife. She's a maid for a maid service, and realizes that her life has really hit a wall when she ends up cleaning a house for someone she went to high school with.
I loved this movie in every possible way. It was charming, it was fun and there aren't a thousand subplots to try and tie up at the end. Some of the cliched stuff that you think would happen in a movie like this never does, which was refreshing, and Rose is such a lovable character that you root for her the entire time--and its heartbreaking when the major "event" happens that seems to ruin everything late in the movie. You even end up really liking Norah, despite some of the stupid things she does. What I also loved about this movie is it doesn't' feel the need to resolve every little issue with a Hollywood happy ending. Some things are... well, just done when they are done. Rated R for language and some Amy Adams underwear shots.
The 18th Coolest Thing of 2009... The Adam Carolla Podcast In the years leading up to 2009, namely 2005, 2006 and 2007, I knew only of Adam Carolla from "The Man Show"--no, I never watched it, I just know it was on Comedy Central and Spike TV for a while--and as a co-host of MTV's "Loveline", another show that I never watched, but knew about.
In 2008, Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons started having Adam come on his own podcast from time to time, and they were always podcasts I thoroughly enjoyed. Adam would usually pitch a "movie idea", and it was always something to laugh at... my favorite is the idea for a movie called "Long Snapper", about a disgraced NFL longsnapper named Rush Blitzer... and in it, he'd throw every cliche that movies present, from the cutaways to birds leaving the trees when something traumatic is going on to that weird double take look when someone sees something that surprised them.
I found out in early 2009 that Carolla was getting his own podcast, so I checked it out... and I've been listening ever since. Now, Adam Carolla is not Emmy Turnbow safe by any means--he uses foul langauge, he discusses topics that are not necessarily meant to be discussed at the dinner table, and he is seldom politcally correct... but he's hysterical. And practical. He doesn't pull any punches, he says it like it is, and he makes fun of himself to the extreme sometimes. Its randy but never disgusting, its Rated R but not NC-17... he also has guests in the studio (which in the early shows constituted his couch in his home, and now is a couch in a warehouse) and its fun to watch them let loose and discuss.
He's anchored by his friend Donnie, who he's dubbed "The Weaz", who helps produce the show, and will also feature his friends Bald Bryan and Teresa Strasser, who used to co-host "What Not to Wear" (and has her own funny blog) and many times, depending on the guest, its the first show out of the gate I listen to when I'm scrolling through my podcasts, even beating out Rush. (don't worry--I am now and forever will be a Rush fan until someone can not only convince me he's wrong, but prove it... hasn't happened yet...)
The 17th Coolest Thing of 2009... "Relator" The movie theater isn't the most likely place to discover music you like... but The Lovely Steph Leann and I were sitting, chitchatting away in the dim light, awaiting whatever movie to start to... well, start. The familiar voice of That Guy who does that Movie Tunes broadcast says something like, "Here's the new one from Ingrid Michelson!" and Ingrid Michelson starts out her song "Everyone". You know, "everyone, everyone wants to love, everyone everyone wants to be loved, oh whoa whoa... oh whoa whoa..."
I thought it was cool. I got out my phone and texted "Ingrid M Everyone" to myself. Wanted to do that so I would remember to listen to it, and possibly download later.
And then, after "Everyone" had finished, the same guy rambled on about something or another, possibly telling me I should go get a refreshing Coke for like, $8.75, at the refreshment stand. Then he says something strange--"Here's a new tune from Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson".
Exsqueeze me? Bakin' powder? When did ScarJo become a singer? What did I miss?
And here comes this raspy voice, a voice that I struggled to place with ScarJo... "When I met you... I didn't know what to do... I was hungry, I was tired, I fight..."
And once again, I grabbed my phone, texting "ScarJo P Yorn Relate" to myself. All I've got is this tune in my head, "you don't... relate... to me... no no..." and when I finally get home, I Google the lyrics and it comes up with "Relator", by Scarlet Johansson and Pete Yorn, from their duet (!) album "Break Up". I've listened to most of the tunes on the whole album, and they are alright enough, but "Relator" is the gem. Its a great, great driving song.
Anyone who knows me knows I have an affinity for The Sports Guy. He's a columnist on ESPN.com, a former writer for ESPN The Magazine, and the author of the book that was the 6th Coolest Thing of 2006. His latest book is a must-read for anyone who has ever enjoyed anything about the NBA... its almost NBA overload.
In this 700+ page behemoth of a book, The Sports Guy tackles the Top Ten Greatest Seasons of All Time... He looks back and retroactively awards MVP titles to those who should have gotten them, as opposed to who did get them (many times not the same thing) and his love of the Boston Celtics and the National Basketball Association shines through when he devotes hundreds of pages to the best players of all time, ranked from great to greatest in his attempt to revamp the Basketball Hall of Fame.
There are tons of statistics and names dropped, a few shots taken at players like Vince Carter, Kareem and Kobe, and lots of basketball history--the man did his homework--but what sets him apart from other columnists I enjoy is his pop culture knowledge. Being a pop culture afficinado myself, I not only appreciate, but revel in the jabs and jokes that come along, sometimes making me feel a little special because I know some of his references are harder to identify, and only a few of us can do so. Cause we rock.
Because of time contraints, it took me a solid two months to plow through this book (and I'm actually going back and re-reading my favorite chapters because the start time to finish time was so lengthy), and after his baseball book, and now The Book of Basketball, it makes me wonder if a football opus is around the corner at some point.
The 15th Coolest Thing of 2009... "Rather Unimpressive Illegitimate Children" From a post written on August 23rd, 2009... You know, I take pride in the fact that I'm pretty good with films. I've seen thousands of movies over the years, and many of them are the same, or at least the same type, and you can kind of predict patterns, kind of see where a movie will go, sometimes have a good clue as to "whodunit" before the blood dries on the ground...
however comma
I have to be honest in saying that this film went in a COMPLETELY different direction than what I was thinking it would. The trailer, which was very cleverly uninforming by Tarantino, tells you nothing of what this movie holds and where its going to go.
The Basterds, as they are called, is a group led by Lt. Aldo Raines, played by Brad Pitt, and he wants to kill Nah-zees.
Aldo Raines recruits a group of soldiers to do just that very thing, but along the way, we also see the story (and backstory) of Shoshanna (a wonderful--and gorgeous--Melanie Laurent), who's entire Jewish family is butchered by infamous Jew Hunter, Col. Hans Landa. Landa is played by Austrian actor Christoph Waltz, (who ended up winning an Oscar in March of 2010--d$) and the character is played to unsympathetic perfection. You want to absolutely hate Landa for who he is and what he does, but you almost find yourself liking him just because he is so "I'm just doing the job they asked me to do, and I'm going to do it well" blaise about it. Only the job isn't tiling a bathroom or fixing a transmission, its hunting and killing Jews in France.
Anyway, I enjoyed it quite a bit. On QT's movie rankings, I'd still ranking Dogs as my favorite, followed closely by "Pulp Fiction"... and then this one. I look forward to watching it again, enjoying all of Tarantino's eccentricities that he dashes throughout his films
The 14th Coolest Thing of 2009... MZ Gets a Starbucks Its always good when your friends succeed.
When I went to The Happiest Place in the Mall in July of 2008, I stepped down as a manager at Starbucks, and went just part time at a store in Homewood, AL. It was a store that had scheduled to close, and at that time I was almost at 6 years with the company, and I was asked to help the store close down. When it finally did, I was transferred over to the Starbucks on 280, right next to Hwy 119.
Working there? My friend MZ that I had known when she was a customer ordering her Grande Raspberry Mocha on a daily basis. She became a barista, then a shift... and when the long term manager left for another career, she was promoted, much to the chagrin of some who thought she was "too new" and they were next in line.
She was very "new", but she was experience enough to know what she was doing, and humble enough to know she was in over her head. When I found The Happiest Place would become The Emptiest Place in the Mall, I asked her if I could come on full time... and though we were friends, she took a professional stance and actually thought about it and about what would be best for the business. She agreed, and when my job ends, I'll once again be doing Starbucks 40 hours per week.
Its been about a year or so now, and she's learned alot... and I've learned alot from her. I'm excited about working for, and with, MZ, because I've watched her already. People respond to her leadership, which is built on relationships and a fever to help each person do their best in whatever they are doing--that in turn will be best for the business. Maybe she's "new", but she's already miles ahead of many managers who had been doing this for a long, long time.
The 13th Coolest Thing of 2009... Inside the Magic I love audiobooks (I'm right in the middle of a 30 disc narration of "Under the Dome" by Stephen King... which I'll talk about when I finish, because its marvelous) but when I listen to an audiobook (like said 30 disc novel), I always have to play catch up on my podcasts... such as the 1:45 it takes to listen to a complete, commercial free Rush Limbaugh show. Or the 45 minutes to an hour it takes me to listen to either Carolla's podcast or The BS Report with The Sports Guy. Or the 30 minute weekly show called ESPNU College Football, which comes on every other week in the offseason.
And last January or so, I decided I wanted to jump into a few Disney podcasts... I listened to a few, and found some to be either long winded or too random, but one stuck. I listened to "Inside the Magic" again the following week... and the following week.. and the following week... and sometime would go online to watch the videos that host Ricky Brigante would post, various openings of stores, or coverage of a press event or so on.
Each show starts with a "Trip... around the world", with Ricky, an Orlando resident and frequent visitor of the parks, giving news from not only Walt Disney World, but also Disneyland, sometimes parks overseas if the news is big enough, various news and rumors from other Disney areas like movies and music, and even sometimes news and such from other Orlando area attractions like Sea World and Universal.
Ricky's got this odd voice that you think will grate on you, yet in a short time it becomes an easy voice to listen to even for long period of time (his Ear in Review show? Four hours) and his wit comes through as he's not afraid to take a jab at Disney... he's a fan just as much as we are, and with that comes the good and the bad.
Says Ricky: "In the next bit of news, I don't know why I didn't lead with this... huge news for everyone... its officlal. Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato... are dating. You heard it here."
The show sometimes features movie reviews, music reviews and restaurant reviews, many times has interviews with people from the Disney universe, and will often feature a segment called "Cruisin' the World", with Skipper Ben, a former Jungle Cruise skipper who lives in Dallas, TX, but has never lost the Disney bug.
The show has been a valuable source of information for me in my time at The Happiest Place in the Mall, many times hearing rumors and news, getting release dates of certain things like DVDs and such, even before the company let us at the store level know. If you are looking for a weekly podcast, you can find Inside the Magic in the iTunes store, or on their new website, but will also add to the Disney links on the right. Back to yooooooooooou Ricky.
The 12th Coolest Thing of 2009... Disney with The Lovely Steph Leann Once again, for our anniversary, The Lovely Steph Leann and I headed to Orlando, FL, to spend 9 days amongst The Most Magical Place on Earth--that being Walt Disney World.
Now, you may wonder "Why is a vacation with your wife only ranking 12th? Shouldn't that be the most important and coolest thing? What kind of man are you?!"
To that, I answer that yes, this trip was very cool. Any trip with The Lovely Steph Leann is a good trip. A cool trip. But the two reasons that this trip ranks 12th and not 1st are simply... 1) We went with my mother-in-law and aunt. Now, this wasn't inherently a bad thing, it was enjoyable, and Mama Ruthless actually paid for several meals and took care of us through the trip. We hung out with them some, and split up from them some... but the fact that our anniversary vacation was taken with a mother-in-law and an aunt... just sayin'.
And 2) The Lovely Steph Leann got sick. I mean, sick. I mean, sick sick. It started in the middle of the trip, and perhaps began when I didn't feel good. I went through a day or so of stomach issues, with my immune system, usually built like a tank, fighting off the stomach flu. But as the old saying goes, "That which does not kill us goes after The Lovely Steph Leann and makes her sick." And the stomach flu did just that very thing, knocking her completely out of action for one full day and bits and pieces of days after that. She's said it was one of the worst, darkest days of her life.
So the stomach flu was the big hindrance to this trip being 12th and not 1st... but for a few notes from the trip, you can click to the one post I wrote concerning the trip.
The 11th Coolest Thing of 2009... Movies With Mikey There's a road that runs through the little town of Hoover, and on that road--Lorna, to be exact--there's a little shopping center... I say shopping center, but there really is no shopping... maybe its a business area. There's a club there that has been through about fifteen different names, including Frogger's and Roper's, and I think its Bumper's now.
Next to it is a small movie theater that I'm sure in its heyday, back when Ace of Base ruled the charts and perhaps the Dallas Cowboys were beginning a dynasty, was a clamour of activity and profit. You know its an older theater when you walk in and you realize you don't have to climb any steps to get to your seat. Nay, you have to walk down a slight incline and choose your row.
We take for granted stadium seating and you young fellas and gals probably don't remember a time when all seats were on the same level, save for a ramp that took you a little lower the closer to the screen you got.
This is why Mikey and I love this theater... and this is why Mikey and I make it a habit to get together a few times a month for a movie there. Oh, and the fact that its a single dollar to get in. If you've ever walked out of a theater you've paid $9.75 to get into thinking "Man, that movie was terrible... I hate that I wasted a Zaxby's meal and a Chick-fila Cookies-n-Cream milkshake worth to see that."
That's the idea behind The d$ and Mikey Crappy Movie Series. We go see movies that we kinda want to see but don't dare pay $10 for, because we aren't sure we'll even like it. Sometimes we make it a point to go see the worst of the worst. Someitmes we are pleasantly surprised at how much we like a movie. We always have a good time.
Some of the movies we have seen this past year include... "Observe and Report", one of the worst films I've ever seen... "Land of the Lost", a pretty bad Will Ferrell flick... "Men Who Stare At Goats", which I'm still trying to figure out the plotline... "I Love You Man", solidifying my love of Paul Rudd... "Year One", funny at times but only here and there... and "The Goods: Live Hard Sell Hard", pushing hard to be worth the one dollar we spent... talk about your epic, award winning films. All were preceeded with a burger at Baha or some other find eating establishment, and all included great conversation with one of my best mates.
Here's to another year full of crappy, terrible one dollar movies.
And finally... here comes the top ten.. two movies, eight people, two songs, a gathering, a toy and a toy ride... the Top Ten Coolest Things of 2009...
They all start somewhere. You started here... well, you started somewhere, and ended up here. Or, you stopped by here on your way to somewhere else... either way, here you are.
Paula the Blitherer is gone. Simon the Crank is leaving after this year. New judge, America's Favorite Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres, starts in a few weeks. And, here's the beginning of yet another four dozen posts, descriptions, awesome singing, Kara the Hotness, Randy the Dawg, the infamous blanket that The Lovely Steph Leann pulls over her face... are you ready? I said... arrrreeee yooooouuuu rrreeeeaaaddddyyy!??!!?!?!?!
THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL!!!!
Here we are in Boston, MA, with the familiar music playing, the montage of former winners that now include The Lovely Steph Leann's Next American Idol Kris Allen. Its a rainy day with the crowd of 9,000, and they are all screaming and yelling on cue, with Augustina's "Boston" playing in the background.
Kara the Hotness, Simon the Crank and Randy the Dawg appear, and our first guest judge, Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice. That would be Posh Spice of the Spice Girls. Has any other group ever done so much with so little? They had... well, I can name three songs, "Wannabe", "2 Become 1" and my favorite of the three, "Say You'll Be There". But think about it... Posh, Baby, Scary, Sporty and Ginger Spice made a movie, a clothing line, countless bajillions of dollars on tour, possibly singing just those three songs... has anyone else made such a bigger splash with so little substance? (anyone who said Obama gets a cookie. Oh!) And you wouldn't believe how hard it was to find a "family friendly" pic of Posh that didn't show off her... well, her God given form.
Here comes someone who thinks she can sing because she has excelled at the Wii version of American Idol. And sometimes girls--guys too, but its worse when girls do it--wear their jeans a little too tight, then their shirts that come up a little farther then they should... giving us... a muffin top. Eww.
Janet McNamera busts out some "Pocket Full of Sunshine", which with those jeans doesn't look like she should be putting anything in those pockets. That was absolutely terrible. According to Janet, the Wii game loves her. Then Janet points to Kara the Hotness and says, "Paula always loved me!". Posh says, "Absolutely not." Go Posh, no apologies! Janet leaves, swears, swears some more, bounces over the top of her jeans and swears again.
10am in Massachusetts, the storm clouds have passed, and 16 year old Maddy, 9th of 12 kids (!), is featured in a little segment highlighting her brother with Downs. Then the family adopts another child with Downs. And another. And another. This is one of those, "I hope this kid makes it through because I will feel really bad if she doesn't make it!" She attempts "Hallelujah". And she's getting it done. Randy the Dawg liked it, Kara the Hotness liked it, Posh the Spice liked it, Simon the Cowell liked it. Looks like we got a Hollywooder! Yay! I liked her! Simon says, "Amazing, you are 16 but not annoying..." Right now, Cindy Jo, fresh off the Kris Allen/The Widower Danny Gokey Bandwagon, is crying.
Posh Spice looks like she needs to eat a couple of sandwiches.
They do a scan of the Holding Room, where everyone sits to get in, and let's meet Pat Ford, this annoying kid who likes saying "Holla!" over and over. He busts out some... broadway? He's dancing like he's got "Squirrels In My Pants", and sounds like a complete idiot. Of course, he thinks he did awesome, of course he's been singing and dancing his whole life and of course, he calls out Simon. Randy the Dawg says, "Stop singing forever." I second that emotion.
We see a montage of those who made it through, including Claire singing some Mr. Big, Jennifer singing some Wicked and Jess singing "A train is coming..." ANYONE who sings Mr. Big is great in my book. "I'm the one who wants to be with you... deep inside I hope you feel it too..." Come on, sing it with me!
A segment on an Italian guy who's name I didn't catch... something DiRocco? They play the Italian dance music, show lots of pasta and lots of Italian people around the table. Amadeo DiRicco. He's taking on Muddy Water's "Hoochie Coochie Man", which is a lot of yelling and such. It was pretty intense, and truthfully, if he makes it Hollywood and tries out some Owl City, he's going to fail miserably. Simon calls it his favorite audition of the day. So, he makes it. As he runs out, Seacrest is engulfed in the mob (pun totally intended) of New England Italianos.
I love the fact they just started "Return to Innocense" by Enigma to show this next guy, who has obviously never met a ProActive tube of cream. He says he's an earthly, spiritual person, and they show him sniffing flowers and blowing petals. "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Words", by Derek Hilton. Somewhere, Elton John just smacked his boyfriend across the face in anger. I wish The Lovely Steph Leann were here, she would have that blanket over her face and it would be precious. I declare this the first Blanket Over Face of the new Idol season!
And the montage of those who failed. Lots of tears, lots of pain, lots of disappointment, while the real "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Words" plays in the background.
Actually, describing this chick seems to be the hardest words. Some chick who does anime, likes designing kimonos, does some sort of chi kickboxing (chiboxing?) and looks like a total flake. Mere Doyle starts screaming, "Piece of My Heart", while Simon and Randy cringe, and Kara and Posh stare at each other. Then she busts out the standard, "My voice coaches all tell me I'm great, singing is my life and its who I am!" We get tears... and how she's spent 14 years training for this.
Ah, Luke Sheffer and Benjamin Bright doing it old school... smooth voices, a little snap here and there... good stuff.
Its almost the end of day one, and we get local musician Andrew Fenlon, who is complaining about how long he's had to wait, and how much he's been interviewed (not saying they did this, but if I'm the Idol producers, I'm making this kid wait as long as possible? Why? Good, good tv. This guy is an idiot.)
Andrew Fenlon, smarts off to Simon (bad move), smarts off again to Simon (bad move again), then says he's going to sing "House of the Rising Sun", then asks Simon, "Do you know that song?" And if he's a local musician in Boston, I'm going to remember to skip his show. Randy sips on his Coke glass, with a grimace. Kara asks him if he's angry, and he says he's just tired of waiting. Kara the Hotness goes off on Andrew, who gets all defensive, rude and sulky. "You've got bad energy," Simon says, and he says, "Aw man." Then Posh says, "You don't have the goods to back it up." I like her... she ain't playing.
Needless to say, he didn't make it. "Simon and Randy liked me, but the girls got mad. I don't know what I did."
Holy crud... its almost 1am! I have to be at Starbucks at 5:30, so I'll be back in a few hours...
...okay, just got home. 8am, I'm sleepy, but let's finish some Idol before taking our nap! (setting up, getting DVR ready, watching a "coming up" teaser about a guy with cancer and a dead grandmother...)
Just saw an ad for "The Lovely Bones" movie adaptation. I'm in the middle of the book, or audiobook anyway, and I'm diggin' it, but haven't had time to finish it... same goes for the two other books I'm trying to finish... one I'm less than 120 pages from finishing, and the other I'm a good 300 pages from finishing. I'll get there, I guess. Perhaps with The Happiest Place in the Mall becoming The Emptiest Place in the Mall, I'll have more time.
Back to Idol.
We see a quick shot of several prospects, discussing their training and their experience... including one guy who just stuck a knife in Seal's "Kiss From a Rose", and another guy who is wailing something that is indecipherable. But, here comes Ashley Rodriguez.
Ashley really wants this. This is her dream, since she was little. "Since I Ain't Got You" is her song, and though she's not just slaying it, she's doing it quite nicely. She does look good, and I like her. Simon says, "You may have It". That's pretty good.
Tyler Grady pops up, with shattered wrists because he fell out of a tree. He's also a drummer, though that might be on hold when your arms don't work so well. He's got this bushy afro thing going on, and it looks like he is wearing bell bottoms. He's singing "Let's Get It On". See, this is where I miss Paula, because she would be saying everything she could to say "Come to my room" without actually saying "Come to my room." I miss the bubbles and fluffy and clouds and flowers. Anyway, Kara the Hotness and Posh the Spice love it, and Randy the Dawg and Simon the Cowell agree. He's off to Hollywood.
17 make it the first day, let's move on to Day 2. Randy and Simon arrive, as do Kara and Victoria Beckham, aka, Posh Spice, aka, Eat a Chocolate Bar. I swear I've had servings of pretzels bigger than her. Its just not attractive.
Lisa Olivero is 24, she's a waitress and she wants to be a singer. She's got a heavy accent, and she says she likes to sing Mariah Carey and Christina Aguliera. She's got confidence, because she's singing "Vision of Love"... which, of course, is pre-skank Mariah. Don't get me started on that...
Anyway, watching Posh's face while Lisa belts these notes out... let's just say this. Anytime they spotlight someone who goes on and on about wanting to be a singer, THEN talks about how people tell her that she sounds like Mariah and X-Tina, and she believes it... you know this is going to be bad. And it was absolutely awful.
And there's more... here's a montage of failed attempts. And ridiculous outfits. And terrible conversations. And crazy accents.
Here comes Mike Davis, who drives a big touring speedboat named "Codzilla". This guy should annoy the crap out of me... but I kinda like him. "Yesterday" is his song of choice... while he's not great, he's really not bad. Actually, he's pretty good. Simon says yes... but Randy says no? Kara the Hotness loves him, and I'm guessing Posh the Spice will do the same... and she does.
Katie Stevens, 16, hails from Middlebury, Connecticut, who has a very old, very slow grandmother who only can speak Portuguese. She's nailing "At Last" by Etta James... and I think I've found a real candidate for My Next American Idol. Yes, its early, but its not too early to pay attention. She was awesome. She gets through.
Oh no... Joshua Blaylock is up. He's 28, this is his last shot, and he's doing a decent job on "Bless the Broken Road"... but in the previews, this is the guy who tells Simon to "Shut Up". Now we find out its staged... they told him to be more assertive, and Randy says, "Tell Simon to shut up!" which he does. Oh, that Fox. Teasing us so with the conflicting verbage. And the tease us again with the cancer story and a New York girl who, "Wants this so badly, this is my dream!"
And a montage of poor people who freeze up and forget their words, and those who you wish had frozen up and forgotten their words. There's an Asian kid trying to sing "All By Myself" that, were The Lovely Steph Leann here, she might pass out from laughing. Maybe even throw the blanket. The Asian kid had to have subtitles when he talked to Ryan the Seacrest.
Justin Williams was doing missions in Spain 7 years ago, and found out he had cancer. Once again, Cindy Jo is weeping openly. "Feelin' Good" is how he's singing. I happen to love the original by Nina Simone, who doesn't get nearly the love that Billie Holliday and some of the classics do. Nina rocks.
And so does Justin. Paula would be laid face first right now at his feet... its possible that The Lovely Steph Leann would too if she were there. Posh likes him, Kara likes him, Randy and Simon likes him. Its like the second coming of Ace Young without the Ace Young hair.
Holy crap. This guy. Reminds me of Whatshername Odermayer from last year... two years ago? Simba, remember? Except Whatshername Odermayer with a gotee and better/worse hair. And unfortunately, I was so caught up by this dude's appearance that I missed his name altogether, which means I had to rewind the DVR to catch his name... Norberto Guerrero. Fitting.
And what's great is when he screws up the song, he hops around, then tells them he's nervous and says, "Can I start over?" and Simon says, "uh... sure." Norberto didn't make it.
Bosa Mora, a black dude with Nigerian parents is singing... George Strait. I'm not kidding. "You Looks So Good In Love" is classic Strait... and dude! He's pulling it off! I think George would be happy with it. Simon finds him very boring, while Posh says, "I didn't find him boring a'tall". Kara, Posh and Randy send Bosa through with a 3-1 margin.
And the end of Boston's auditions is near. Touching stories, amazing talent, bad auditions, terrible costumes.. just like your typical Idol show.
Leah Laurenti is the final contestant of the Boston audition. She wants it so bad, she doesn't want to settle. Her goal is to be a singer. She's been singing her whole life. Its very important to her. She's original, I tell ya that.
Now, she's singing "Blue Skies", and I think this is one of those that The Lovely Steph Leann would gush about, saying how hard those runs are, and how her voice control is unbelievable... and I would respond, "Yeah, she's okay." Maybe its the song, but she's just... well, she's just pretty good. Randy loved it. Kara loved it. Posh Spice loved it. Simon gives it a fourth yes-vote, and "Boston" by Augustena plays once more.
A total of 31 make it to Hollywood... and here are the ones I liked... Katie Stevens, That 16 Year Old Maddy chick, Ashley Rodriguez and Luke Sheffer.
Coming to you from the home of Mike & Susie Fitzharris, with Susie being one of the Lovely Steph Leann's high school Besties. We had to come down to Pensacola for The Lovely Steph Leann's job, as they send her down to the Pensacola location of her work once per month to do some work. All I can say is, she's good at her job.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll have more to report this weekend from our coupla'days away--which we just don't get many of, unless we're going to Disney World. Even then, we take people with us, so seldom is it just us.
By the way, I love trade paperbacks. They are a little larger than regular paperbacks, they look good, and they aren't nearly as bulky as hardbacks. Many of the books I buy, especially by Stephen King, are in trade... but some books I want to read now.
And speaking of Stephen King, here's his latest, called "Under the Dome". This book looks fascinating, and apparently, some people are relating it to "The Simpsons Movie", with the whole dome-on-town concept. I mentioned this book to my friend MZ, and thats exactly what she said... "That sounds like 'The Simpsons Movie'!" I had to tell her that King had been writing this book off and on for over 30 years.
The story is, one day a town is suddenly cut off from the rest of the world by a huge dome that sets down over a small Maine town. And chaos ensues. Can't wait.
Actually ordered this and above book on Amazon.com for $25.50. "The Big Book of Basketball" was $16.50 and the new King novel was $9 with a pre-order, which I did. Spend $25 and get free shipping. Of course, the downside to free shipping is that you have to wait forever to get the book--mine is due for delivery on November 17th.
Here comes Sarah Palin. I love Sarah Palin. Don't care what you say, I think she's smarter than most of the Republicans that are out there today, and those of you who say, "She's crazy!" just haven't been paying attention--or paying too much attention to CNN and Obama-TV MSNBC. And I'll end up reading her biography, "Going Rogue". And I'll probably enjoy it.
Actually, I'll probably wait until I can get this on audio. Hopefully, it will be read by the author. That, I can dig.
In Palin's "Going Rogue," Palin confirms reports of tension between her aides and those of the 2008 Republican presidential candidate, Sen. John McCain. The vice presidential candidate confirms that she had wanted to speak on election night, but was denied the chance and says she was kept "bottled up" from reporters during the campaign.
Palin also writes harshly of CBS anchor Katie Couric, whom she describes as "badgering" and biased. Palin's series of interviews with Couric were widely regarded as disastrous, leaving the impression of an ill-informed candidate who was unsuited for the job.
And, just a note on CNN, here's why they suck. Last night, Carrie Prejean was on Larry King Live, and when Larry asked her a legitimate question about her past, she said, "That's very inappropriate, Larry." They had a rough exchange, and she came off looking like an idiot. Which she might be--listen, I supported her at the beginning through the whole pageant mess, but now she's just annoying--she came off looking stupid and like a moron. And what did CNN do? They flash a graphic on the screen that says, "PREJEAN ON SARAH PALIN: I THINK SHE'D MAKE A GREAT PRESIDENT". Really, CNN? Was there a need for that? That, CNN'ers, is why you are continually in last place in the news network races.
By the way, on a random note, did anyone else completely miss the fact that Hurricane Ida came through already? I asked The Lovely Steph Leann a few days ago about Ida, and if it would impede our journey to the Florida Panhandle, and she said, "No." And then today, she mentioned how it rained for about 28 straight hours the other day--that was Ida. Had no clue. I was still thinking it was in the Gulf somewhere. I blame George W. Bush.
And finally, here's one I just finished. "Native Tongue" by Carl Hiaasen doesn't deviate, plot set-up anyway, from most of his other books. Hiaasen has lots of colorful characters he spreads out through the book, and you know somehow, someway, they are all going to cross paths at one point or another in a crucial plot point. And, like just about all of his other books (might be all of them--I have only read four), the story takes place in Florida.
This one actually takes place close to Key Largo, at a Disney rip-off called The Amazing Kingdom of Thrills, and it involves steroid taking security guards, gun shooting baboons, mafia witnesses, mob hits, a professional golfer, a chick who plays Robby Raccoon, a former governor of Florida living in the woods wearing a panther tracking color, a chick who writes poetry for a phone sex line, and a protagonist who was hired because he writes great press releases. Oh, and it centers around two rat-like creatures who may or may not be extinct, stolen by two burglers who may or may not be complete fools. The book is funny, its fast paced, it does have lots of language, and was a breezy read.
Alright, that's all I got for tonight. Time to get The Lovely Steph to bed--she's snoozing on the couch, otherwise I'm pretty sure that Jimmy Kimmel Live wouldn't be on. Not that I don't like Kimmel, but she has the remote. She's sleeping on it.
40. "Bolt" I'd been seeing the previews for this movie for a while--Bolt was a television dog, owned by Penny, who somehow is abandoned, or gets out of the studio lot or whatever. He seeks to find his owner, and ends up being accompanied by Mittens the cat and Rhino the hamster. The fact that it was in 3-D made it even better.
After working a while at The Happiest Place in the Mall, the anticipation was even higher, as I saw the preview twice an hour, up to eight hours per day. It seemed like it would be a pretty good film, with the voices of John Travolta (Bolt) and Miley Cyrus (Penny), but the scene stealer appeared to be Rhino, the hamster in the ball who was nothing but a fanboy and Bolt geek.
I laughed, lots. It was well written, well done, and really, it was just a fun movie. Would easily watch it again--looks to be on DVD and Blu-Ray in the Spring (April, maybe) and will pick up... and I recommend you do the same.
39. Getting a Blu-Ray Player Speaking of "Bolt" on Blu-Ray... we wouldn't be getting it on Blu-Ray if we didn't have a Blu-Ray player, which we do now. The day after Thanksgiving, after spending Black Friday at The Happiest Place in the Mall from 1am to 10am, I ambled on over to Best Buy. Dreary eyed, blurry sighted, foggy brained, I was looking for a Blu-Ray.
The Lovely Steph Leann and I had already discussed it, of course... we had a limit, and the goal was to find one that came under--hopefully well under. And what better place to find one than Best Buy, what better time than the day after Thankgiving. I found our Sony Blu-Ray with all the bells and whistles, upgradable software and BD Live capabilities for just around $200.
And I'm watching the 8th episode of LOST on it right now.
38. The Chipotle Mexican Grill I had first eaten at a Chipotle around the mall--at the old place, The Casa de Pesos, we lived very close to it, and one day, decided to give it a whirl. Fantastic food, by the way. Had the tacos, with meat and cheese only, topped with sour cream, soft shell please.
When we moved to The Cabana, across town, we moved away from the Chipotle. So, imagine my wonder and happiness when, right across 280, perhaps a mile (if that) from where The Cabana sits, they turned an old Captain D's that had closed down into a Chipotle Mexican Grill. For their "grand pre-opening", they were giving away free food to anyone and everyone for two straight days.
I had Chipotle for lunch, then dinner, then lunch, then dinner. And it rocked.
In fact, The Lovely Steph Leann just came in, and asked me what I wanted for dinner. I think I know the answer.
(That last sentence was written about an hour ago. In the time between typing "...know the answer" and "That last sentence...", We went to Target to get some groceries, then ended up at Chipotle Mexican Grill. The music overhead was some strange tune I'd never heard, sounding like a Mexican Beck. Beckez? Becko? Anyway, I usually go for the chicken soft tacos, tonight I was daring and did the carnitas. Not a fan.)
37. ESPN's The Sports Guy His name is Bill Simmons, and he used to write as "The Boston Sports Guy" before he was incorporated into the wide band of ESPN columnists. He's actually been there for 9 years, and I think I've been reading him for just that long, even back on ESPN's old site and his first book is just great. And The Sports Guy just gets better with age.
He's funny, he's irreverent, and he does what most columnists do not--keeps politics out. Granted, he's made illusions to not necessarily being a fan of Dubya (but then again, neither is Brad Latta. Or NYC Jenny. Or J Rob. But I love ya, Dubya) but he's never let that really intrude on his topics, nor does he ever make that the focal point. No, his topics range from the Celtics (his NBA team who won a title) to the Red Sox (his MLB team) to the Patriots (his NFL team) to favorite movies to whatever else happens in pop culture. Its also no secret that sometimes I borrow phrases from him here and there.
One of the great things this year too, though, was the B.S. Report with Bill Simmons, the ESPN Podcast... just like his columns, he'd have great shows discussing all the aforementioned topics, but this time he's also got guests with him--Chuck Klosterberg, Michael Lombardi, Cris Collingsworth, NBA Commissioner David Stern, SNL star Seth Myers and so on.
36. "Moratorium" by Alanis Morissette I've never been this accountable-less and within I've never known focuslessness on any form I've never had this lack of ache for dalliance To let go and let god in ways I have never even imagined
I declare a moratorium on things relationship I declare a respite from the toils of liaison I do need a breather from the flavors of entanglement I declare a full time out from all things commitment
I've never let my grasp soften fingers like this I've never been careless other... less like autonomy's twin
From the album "Flavors of Entanglement", the excellent newest release from Alanis Morissette, and one of my favorite songs of the year.
35. Dr. Earl does Dinner Theater Got a buddy of mine who is a doctor, we like to call him Dr. Earl. Well, the Good Doctor has come along in his acting performances over the years, joining Impact, the adult drama team for Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), and this year, he was cast as "Gabriel", in the modern retelling of the story of the birth of Jesus.
The Good Doctor and Yours Truly over Christmas
The Good Doctor had the majority of the lines, and was in about 90% of the entire show... don't get me wrong, Rhett Barnette (Joseph) and Lisa Whaley-Bowen-Whaley-Owens (Mary) were great, and those who had smaller parts were great too, but for my money, The Good Doctor Earl stole the show. Good job, Earl. Good job.
34. McQ Writes a Book Got another friend of mine, McQ, who runs the Strength In the Struggle blog. She is alot like me, as in, she likes to write alot. McQ is funny, she's got a contageous laugh and now... she's an author.
She started working on this book early in the year... well, I take that back--she's been working on the book for years and years, but she started compiling her writings to turn into a book. Taking the title from her blog, she calls it "Strength in the Struggle"(you can also order the book from this site) and its a pretty good selection of writings. The photography is also taken by McQ from her adventures around the country and is excellent.
Mostly, though, what's cool about it is that she's achieved a dream that not too many people can say they have done... published a book. Self publishing is something I've already considered.
As a follower of Christ, we are bound by the law of what is good and what is right, as listed in the Word of God, telling us be careful what we see and what he hear, be cautious of what we put before our eyes and in our hearts. I say this to head off anyone telling me this exact thing, Amy McL, because I have to say, for me...
...this movie was absolutely hysterical. I mean, unbelievably funny, to the point I was cracking up every few minutes. The plot is a little contrived--two guys get into trouble and are sentenced to work with some troubled kids at a center. Of course, it goes without saying, the ending will be that, though they hate the kids at first, they end up loving the kids, and the kids, though hating the two guys, end up loving the two guys. Duh. That's how movies like this are supposed to end.
That being said, this movie is driven by Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott, two extremely funny and talented guys. Their timing and delivery of what might be unfunny dialogue turn this from cliche to completely a riot. I like Paul Rudd anyway, for his work in the little-seen-but-very-funny "Wet Hot American Summer" (directed by David Wain, as is "Role Models"), the slightly overrated "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" and of course, my 91st Favorite Movie of All Time. Seann William Scott, who will forever be known as Stifler, is also emerging as a great go to guy for silly, stupid comedy, and in the case of genius like "The Rundown" (also on The Dave100), smart, sharp comedy.
Anyway, if "Superbad" offended you, or "Knocked Up" got under your craw, stay away from "Role Models". Its got language, its got unnecessary boobage and its got boy potty humor... but man, its funny. And its great to watch Fogell emerge as a decent actor.
Thinking back on the movie, and all it contained... I still feel the same way.
32. Brad Latta The Lattas have turned into quite a large group... the youngest, Scott, one of The 100 Coolest Things of 2007, is about to get married to his love, Jessica (Scott says, "That should rank among the Top 20 Coolest Things of 2008, right?") in April, while Matt and his dear sweet Ginger made the Top 100 Coolest of 2006(or at least, Baby Ashlyn did), so I figured it was about time that eldest brother Brad found his way amongst the blog.
I call him the Clouds Ombudsman, as he likes to give many times a different viewpoint on what I have to say here... and this was a good year for it--the election gave plenty of debating material for sure. He's not a fan of the former president and isn't exactly a huge supporter with the current one, and his law background gives him good insight on what is and is not concerning many, many topics, including politics and even Constitutional law.
Every now and again, when I know I've written something perhaps a little controversial, or tossed out a viewpoint that I know will be unpopular, I cringe thinking of how Brad will respond--then I look forward to it. If there were such a thing as "Coffee Drinker of the Year", he'd be nominated.
31. The Apple Store Early in December, my iPod started dying. Wouldn't hold a charge, had to plug it in to the computer or the wall to listen it, and so on, and I had to take it to the Apple Store... here's what I wrote on December 3rd:
Adam the Apple Guy called for me, and I told him of my ills. He was impressed that my iPod battery had lasted almost 4 years (March would make it 4, methinks) and I told him how bummed I was that I was going to be without it for a few weeks.
Adam the Apple Guy said, "Well, that might not happen. If we have them in stock, we can give you a refurbished one, just trade them out. The battery and casing will be new, the hardware will be refurbished. Is that a solution?"
You mean I can walk out with this thing tonight? All bright and shiny? Heck yeah!
Adam the Apple Guy even did the registration online for me, with the new serial number and everything. And the price? Not the $80 or 90 I was planning on... but it was $59.99, plus tax. Total cost? $64.20. Love it.
I'm a PC guy, and will be one for a while, mostly because I can't afford to be an Apple guy... but their customer service? Primo fantastico. Those guys rocked that night.
Note on the Pruitt Cool Awards After further consideration, I have decided to award only one of these per year... I had 3 more recepients in mind, but I am going to wait. This should be more of a "lifetime achievement of coolness" award... so, James & Jessica Hawbaker will remain the sole Pruitt Award for Coolness winners... until 2009.
Coming soon... we dive into the 30 Coolest Things of 2008, with some Rhett, Rick, Rush and "Hey! I read your blog!"
So, after a hard day of Magic at The Happiest Place in the Mall, then an hour donating blood at the latest Red Cross blood drive (25 pints lifetime!), where I had a drink with Kristi Arze at the Holiday Inn, I came back to The Cabana to see The Lovely Steph Leann on the couch, relaxing in front of the tv.
Gave it a little while, and decided that we needed to get out a little tonight... so she and went to The Barnes & Noble Cafe. And this is what I came up with...
I refuse. I absolutely refuse.
This is where you'd most likely find The Lovely Steph Leann
This is my favorite book as a kid... its a funny story, its a sad story, its a boy-and-his-dog story. I've got my original copy somewhere, saved in a box. Its got my badly written name on the spine, its leaf paged, its yellow, and I love it.
You know what I also loved? The Bunnicula Series by James Howe. I had the first five books, but I let Melanie Jackson borrow them. She never gave them back. Similiar to when I let Liz Malphras borrow all six individual novels from The Green Mile (which you can now only find in a single volume). Sigh.
I'm a big fan of trade paperbacks. The one on the left is a regular sized paperback, the one on the right is a Trade. Its slightly bigger, and you'll notice that most of the books on my shelf are trades. It just feels better when I'm reading it. Perhaps it makes me feel like I'm important enough to be reading a hard cover, yet, its not as heavy. Perhaps.
This is one of my favorite books as well. The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons, is a brilliant columnist, and with both of us essentially growing up in the 80s, I can relate to his pop culture references. And if you are familiar with his work, and read this blog and think "Ya know, d$ steals some of The Sports Guy's mannerisms" well... you'd be right. But only a few.
This is the first, and quite possibly the only, time I've ever taken a second look at a math book, and have considered its purchase and reading. Before you jump to conclusions and think, "Oh, he just likes the hot chick", I say to you that yes, it helps catch the attention of any male passers-by, but the fact that its Winnie Cooper is what really caught my attention. Winnie Cooper. Perhaps my first TV girlfriend.
This picture cracks me up. Yes, I said it.
I've taken an affinity for crossword puzzles lately, but I do love me some mazes. Always have. Probably because I'm good at it... now minesweeper and sudoku? Those are two games I refuse to do. Why? Because I don't know how to do them. Yes, yes, I'm sure its easy, yes, I'm sure you could show me, but I just don't care. And refuse to learn. So there.
Just finished reading "Carrie" for the first time, and "The Green Mile" for the second time (though not since 1996). My favorite Stephen King novel is "It", the daunting and thick paperback on the left. Its just amazing. However, I'm scared to death of "The Stand", the one of the right--not because of its content, but because it would probably just consume my life for a month. Do you, the Clouds in My Coffee Drinkers, have books like that? Books you want to read, but are just afraid to start, because you know what it might take to finish it?
And for whatever reason, I picked up "The Shining" again. Scary book.
They serve Starbucks Coffee. But they aren't a real Starbucks. Wanna know how to tell? Look for the gift cards. If they don't sell them, chances are, they aren't a real one. They'll make the drinks, they'll serve the coffee, but they get paid by B&N, not Starbucks Corp. Its a licensed store.
Because the Old New Deal works so well. Hello Social Security and Welfare.
Holy crap, there were "Love Me Some Obama" books everywhere. I told The Lovely Steph Leann that if McCain had won, the magazines would have had titles like, "Too Old?" or "How Can We Make America Great Again" and the books like "Palin Sucks!" and "How You People Are Too Stupid to Realize that America Is the Cause of ALL The World's Problems So We Need to Vote In Someone Blindly that We Know Very Little About To Fix Everything".
Then the guy came and told me I had to quit taking pictures. So I did.
Sometime last week, I listed my favorite songs... what I considered to be my absolute, most beloved songs out there... you can read all about that here, in case you missed it.
However, Stephen King made a good point in the back pages of a recent Entertainment Weekly. He said basically that, no matter your favorites, what are the songs you listen to the most?
Granted, I've had my iPod for just over 2 years now, and when I got a new laptop, my playcount reset to 0, but still, I have a good idea of the songs I listen to the most. Keep in mind, the good majority of my time is spent listening to podcasts of: The Dave Ramsey Show, The Rush Limbaugh Show, Car Talk, The B.S. Report and PTI, and sometimes I get to watch a Strong Bad email, Samantha Brown touring South America or Inside the Kingdom's Disney Podcasts.
Taking Stephen's point, though... I thought, "What do I listen to the most?" I made myself a "smart playlist", ie, you can set it up with tons of perimeters. I excluded audio books and TV shows, and set it up to only list the songs I'd played 11 times or more. And this is what it came up with:
Played 11 times on my iPod: "Cowboy Take Me Away" by The Dixie Chicks. Love it. Call me names, I don't care. Makes me think of Dana Mitchell in that Samford step sing skit many years ago. "Sorry to a Friend" by Edwin McCain. Yes, yes, his first big hit was "Solitude", but to me, this is a much better song. Of course, now all you hear from Edwin on the radio is "Could Not Ask for More" or "I'll Be". Its a travesty, really. "Fergalicious" by Fergie. Its actually the video. Originally, before I moved to the laptop, this was closing in on 40 plays. I will now go slam my head in our garage door. "Learn to Fly" by The Foo Fighters. Speaking of the Foo, the website The Smoking Gun lists celebrity "riders", or contract specifications of bands and artists when they perform somewhere. Sometimes its something simple, like "no shellfish because of allergies" or whatever. Other times, it borders on ridiculous. One band asks for all the green M&Ms to be removed. I bring that up to say The Foo Fighter Concert Rider is absolutely hysterical.
"Callin' Baton Rouge" by Garth Brooks. This song is fun to sing, especially when you are so off key, cats and flies are both dying... "aaaaahhhhperator wont you put me on through I gotta send my love down to Baton Rouge hurry up won't you put her on the line I gotta talk to my sweet girl one more time ooooh ooooh ooooh sweet Baton Rouge...." "Until I Fall Away" by The Gin Blossoms. Oh, where did the Blossoms go? Anywhere they'd go, I'd follow them down. "Fading Like a Flower (everytime you leave)" by Roxette. You know those bands that have songs that everyone knows, like "The Look" or "Must've Been Love"? And those bands that have songs that really, only their fans would know? Yeah, I give you this song. "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston. You ask me why, I repeat the title of this song.
Played 12 times on my iPod "King of Pain" by Alanis Morissette. The live version from her Unplugged album, which is simply fantastic. This is the song by The Police, but I daresay she improved it. "Uninvited" by Alanis Morissette. Also, the live version, from the Unplugged album. This is the song that was featured in "City of Angels", a movie that I hope Nic Cage takes solace only in the fact its not "Capt Corelli's Mandolin" "Full Moon" by Brandy. This is way back before she became a mom and ran people over. Anyway, this song is da bomb dot com... its tight. I don't really know all the words, though, but I'm pretty sure somewhere in here she says, "We can dance if you want, get to crackin' if you like". I'm not sure I want to know what that means. "Hole Hearted" by Extreme. Before they wussed out on us with "More than Words", they were a rockin' little band. This song takes me back to 8th grade. Way back. "One Hundred Years" by Five For Fighting. The Lovely Steph Leann really likes this tune, and really, I can't blame her. Its a smooth little ditty. "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson. Pretty much the newest song on the entire Played 11+ Times playlist, its also fun to sing. Short and sweet.
"Stay" by Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories. Speaking of fun to sing, this is #1 on my "Favorite Songs to Walk Around and Sing Endlessly" because when you do, chances are someone will join you. And this is one of those songs that, if you ask me to sing the 2nd verse (which, you wouldn't) I couldn't do it without first racing through the first verse and chorus. You can't start in the middle of this song. Go ahead, watch the video. Be entranced. Do it. "3 AM" by Matchbox Twenty. I consider this my Melanie Jackson song from 1997. That's all I got. "Chains" by Tina Arena. "Oooh" starts it out, with a finger snap, a couple of beats and a clap. Then another finger snap, another couple of beats and another clap. Its almost like a game... and Aussie singer Tina Arena can wail, I tell ya. I don't think I realized she's kinda hot too, at least, in 1995.
Played 13 Times on My iPod "Two Tickets to Paradise" by Eddie Money. Looking over my list, this is the most surprising, really. Its just a 70s classic. I liken Eddie Money to Pat Benetar, and a few select others... first, you don't realize how many songs they actually had until you pay attention, then you realize that you like more of them then you thought. "Barracuda" by Heart. I tried to play this on Guitar Hero a few weeks ago. I got about halfway through it, then fell completely apart. Ooooohhh Barra-cuda.
Played 14 Times on My iPod "I'll Be Okay" by Amanda Marshall.On my list of saddest songs ever, a few years ago, this one came in strong. Its very, very painful, when you listen to it, but its a deceptive pain. Its not all touchy, feely ballady slow, its actually got a simple beat to it... featured in "My Best Friend's Wedding", its about letting go of someone who wants someone else. See these eyelids? Fire pokers are going through them now. "Poison" by Bell Biv Devoe. In keeping with the sad, weepy songs list... ha! Contains perhaps some of the greatest, wisest advice anywhere... "Never trust a big butt and a smile..." "Alone" by Heart. Back in the day, Nancy and Ann Wilson had it going on.
Played 15 Times on My iPod: "Linger" by The Cranberries. I mean, let's talk about college, shall we? This is the song I remember when I'm hanging out with Miranda Bryant until 3 am (I must be lonely), while waiting for Bobby and Mandy to come back from the golf course, or I remember from wondering what Kathy Hollingsworth saw in Jerrod Whatshisnuts, and why she wouldn't go out with me... "you know I'm such a fool for you... do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger..." "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John. Techinically, my favorite Elton John song is "Take Me to the Pilot", but you know how many times that one has been played? Twice. I will say that "Tiny Dancer", my other favorite Elton tune has a 9 time play record. Still, this one is The Lovely Steph Leann's favorite Elton, and really, I can't fault her for it. "Clarity" by John Mayer. Not even sure how this ended up being played so many times. Not that its a bad song... its like seeing "Men In Black" 15 times. Its good, but really? Have I seen it that much? "Loungin' (who do you love)" by LL Cool J. The polar opposite of "Clarity", I'm actually shocked I haven't heard this song more. Just don't ever read the words too closely--much like any song by Janet Jackson--because your minds are too pure. Cool J says so much without being offensive... mostly, anyway. He rocks. This was actually the first dance song at our friends DeLisa and DeNick's wedding. Cool J is part Greek, I think. "Snow (hey oh)" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. The 13th coolest thing of 2007, played endlessly for a few weeks, then some here and some there. Catchy.
Played 16 Times on My iPod "How to Save a Life" by The Fray. I discovered this song before I discovered Grey's Anatomy. Actually, it was Scotty Latta who steered me their way... I remember on his Rammer Jammer Blog (R.I.P.), he mentioned how much he liked this band.
Played 19 Times on My iPod "Light in Your Eyes" by Blessid Union of Souls. I re-discovered this song last year, and realized how addicted I am to it. The line that says, "...it's been a while since I've seen you, so how have you been? Did you get my letter I wrote you that I did not send..." Freakin' ouch. Seriously.
Played 20 Times on My iPod "Cable Car (over my head)" by The Fray. I'm noticing how many times the ( ) are used in songs. It's like, you want to give your song a cool title, like "Cable Car" or "Snow" or "Loungin", but you know that everyone is going to call it by the words they hear several times in the song, so just add a ( ) to it, and that makes it okay. Add an (over my head) or a (hey oh) or a (who do you love) and its all better. Is this an overused cliche?
Funny thing is, when I had to reformat iTunes, the #1 song played on my iPod was Reese Witherspoon's "Wildwood Flower", then until I got a laptop, the #1 song was "Cable Car (over my head)". And now, since the laptop, everything started over again, here we are again.
Bonus list... songs that have been played 10 times and are ready to make the leap: "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morisette... "Sister Golden Hair" by America... "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers... "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon... "What a Fool Believes" by The Doobie Brothers... "Rocket Man" by Elton John... "Vehicle" by Ides of March... "Running on Empty" by Jackson Browne... "The Remedy (I won't worry)" by Jason Mraz... "Bye Bye" by Jo Dee Messina... "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake... "Stand Up" by Ludacris... "Holy Roar" by the Passion Worship Band, featurin Christy Nockels... "Baby I'm Yours" by Shai... "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" by Sophie B. Hawkins... "Jimmy Olsen's Blues" by The Spin Doctors... "Drops of Jupiter" by Train... and "La Grange" by ZZ Top.
What's funny is that I had no intention on doing an entire post on the sports misery that is Cleveland, Ohio, a town I've never been to, nor really paid much mind to. But as I watched The LeBron Circus begin on ESPN, a network I both love for its sports and columnists and loathe for its shameless self-promotion and "look at me!" spirit, I started looking online for Cleveland info... and wow, it sucks to be a Browns, Indians and, after tonight, a Cavs fan. 
