The woman ran to get someone to help her investigate. Sure enough, a guy was chilling in the toilet, but managed to flee the scene before cops arrived. Several people saw the man running away with feces all over him. There seemed to have been almost no way to make sense of this.
What kind of person takes a dip in human excrement? Who gets turned on by having their face shit on? How could someone
Dutch oven oneself in a sweltering porta-potty with a plastic tarp? Who would endure all of this for the sight of a few sweaty yoga vaginas?
Today these questions were answered: a 30 year-old self-titled porn star and male escort offering “reasonable rates to sexy or clean people” named Skye Oryan, (a.k.a Luke Irvin Chrisco).
I know what you’re thinking—how could a man who dallies in crap offer reasonable escorting rates only to “clean people”? Because he’s referring to the spiritually cleansed; Chrisco is linked to several adult websites, one of them called Holysexgirls.com
Skye Oryan is listed as the president of Holysexgirls.com, whose headline is “Spirit Porn. No Guilt. No Fear. Only. God.” The site also features the occasional anal close-up that Chrisco will forever be famed for enjoying.
His biblical
porn site boasts, “Girls bodies are as the holy temple of the conciousnes adoration of infinity and the only refuge from the infinite desert of the sands of time and desolution [sic].”
Chrisco, when not producing spiritual
porn sites littered with grammatical errors, can also be found on the Max Extreme Models website and has posted a personal ad describing himself and his 19-year-old girlfriend as “college dropout escorts.”
An article in Boulder’s DailyCamera says, “According to records with the
Colorado Secretary of State, Max Extreme Models is not a registered business. Chrisco also is not listed as a registered business owner for any company in
Colorado.” There are also police records showing that he’s been arrested for possession of marijuana, trespassing and driving without a license.
The turd burglar is currently being held by police in Vail,
Colorado on $1,000 bond for a “traffic incident” and extra $1,500 for the peeping (pee-ping) tom incident in Boulder.
Chrisco may be an eccentric—to say the least—but I have to give him credit for knowing what he wants and going out and getting it. He should also be a lesson in understanding that shit happens and sometimes you just have to lay down and face it.
Check out the video of Chrisco below looking a bit like a long-haired
Stephan Jenkins with pink nail polish sitting in a strange unfinished room while his friend plays keyboard. You’ll understand everything:
Image by Banana Custard via Flickr
