"Did anyone ever tell you that you have the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas?" -"Jack Jericho" (The Pickup Artist)
Hello Glamour Whores...
I'm so excited about this post!! I have decided to celebrate the end of my hiatus with a giveaway/contest!! I have never ever done a giveaway before and thanks to the fabulous Ms.Taken this is a great one to start with. Ms.Taken is a fabulous company that I had written a post about this company previously and when I tweeted them the link they were unbelievably generous and sent me 2 Ms.Taken kits. 1 for me and 1 to giveaway to my readers. You guys are gonna love this...
Ms.Taken is a company who's product is more or less a very glam, very fashionable "douche" repellent. And by "douche" I mean men who can't take a polite "not interested" and keep on with their pathetic "game". The Ms.Taken "kit" contains a beautiful 2 carat Australian crystal "engagement ring", a uber sleek ring holder/keychain, and a set of "Playaz" cards to help spot the aforementioned "douches". I love the ring holder key chain as it makes it easy to slip that ring on super quick...
Fabulous and genius right?! I agree and I LOVE mine!! Now on to the giveaway/contest.... To win this fabulous set I want you to tell me the worst pickup line you have ever heard and what your response was. I love a fellow smart ass and I'm giving this set away to the person that heard the WORST line but gave the BEST response... You can leave your submission as a comment here, on the The Glamour Whore Facebook page or tweet it to me. The contest will close Tuesday July 5th at midnight and the winner will be announced Wednesday July 6th before midnight here, on The Glamour Whore Facebook page and also on my twitter. Good Luck!!
****To preserve fairness this contest is closed to family members, friends and colleagues of Glamour Whore****
For more info on Ms.Taken visit their website or their Facebook page and you can also follow them on twitter.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you have the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas?" -"Jack Jericho" (The Pickup Artist)
Hello Glamour Whores...
I'm so excited about this post!! I have decided to celebrate the end of my hiatus with a giveaway/contest!! I have never ever done a giveaway before and thanks to the fabulous Ms.Taken this is a great one to start with. Ms.Taken is a fabulous company that I had written a post about this company previously and when I tweeted them the link they were unbelievably generous and sent me 2 Ms.Taken kits. 1 for me and 1 to giveaway to my readers. You guys are gonna love this...
Ms.Taken is a company who's product is more or less a very glam, very fashionable "douche" repellent. And by "douche" I mean men who can't take a polite "not interested" and keep on with their pathetic "game". The Ms.Taken "kit" contains a beautiful 2 carat Australian crystal "engagement ring", a uber sleek ring holder/keychain, and a set of "Playaz" cards to help spot the aforementioned "douches". I love the ring holder key chain as it makes it easy to slip that ring on super quick...
Fabulous and genius right?! I agree and I LOVE mine!! Now on to the giveaway/contest.... To win this fabulous set I want you to tell me the worst pickup line you have ever heard and what your response was. I love a fellow smart ass and I'm giving this set away to the person that heard the WORST line but gave the BEST response... You can leave your submission as a comment here, on the The Glamour Whore Facebook page or tweet it to me. The contest will close Tuesday July 5th at midnight and the winner will be announced Wednesday July 6th before midnight here, on The Glamour Whore Facebook page and also on my twitter. Good Luck!!
****To preserve fairness this contest is closed to family members, friends and colleagues of Glamour Whore****
For more info on Ms.Taken visit their website or their Facebook page and you can also follow them on twitter.
Last night I headed out to Family Mart at 2:30 a.m. for cookies and ice cream, it was just one of those days where I didn’t want to be social. thankyouverymuch.
As I was poking through the ice cream, two young-ish men came in and spent forever getting cigarettes. Waiting in line I wondered briefly if one of them was a student of mine, while marveling they had the appropriate ID for cigarettes and alcohol. (He wasn’t a student, and I don’t think anyone checks IDs.)They left without their cigarettes, thus having to come back in and awkwardly pick them up from the counter before I could pay for my heart-attack inducing snacks.
On the walk back, I hear “Ohh….waygookin….” I ignore them, paying the sweet overnight clerk, who probably thinks I’m the most batshit person for walking in there almost every single night for ice cream, beer and cookies. (I’m a creature of bad habits.) They walk out the door presumably to disappear in the dark wet night.
I step outside and hear, “Hello? Hello? Hi? Hello?” before I could open my umbrella. The smaller one kept saying the words over and over again. Like I couldn’t hear him even though I was responding to each greeting with a “hi” and a smile. Once he finally quiets down long enough to realize he had my attention, he asks where I’m going.
I say I’m going home.
He asks me to come drink soju with them. I have no idea where seeing as Family Mart is the only open establishment at this time of the morning in my dong. I shake my head.
“No, I don’t want to.” I say.
“Wae-oo? Wae?” They both start whining.
“You look young.” I smile trying not to sound like a complete bitch.
“How old? How old? How old?” The smaller one asks. I smile unsure of what he’s trying to ask me and not about to tell him I think they look 19.
“How old are you?” I ask instead.
“I’m very old.” He says puffing out his chest with pride. “I’m 21.”
“Too young for me,” I say. “I don’t want to be a noona.”
“Noona?” The bigger one screeches jumping into the conversation with a load of Korean. I eventually work out he’s asking how old I am.
“I’m 25,” I respond.
“Only four, only four, only four.”
“Too much,” I sigh and turn around to leave.
I turn back and wave goodbye. As they shout after me “goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.”
The Lovely Steph Leann and I were sitting at dinner tonight, what we declared our "Anniversary Dinner", and it dawned on me. I've been married to her for over half the time I've known her... we met in 2000 briefly, then became friends in 2001, dating in 2003, married in 2004... I've known her just under ten years, and tomorrow, I'll have been married to her for six.
For those who want the full story of d$ and The Lovely Steph Leann, you can click here to go back to "A Love Story in Three Acts" from June/July of 2006. If the "click here to go to the next part" links don't work, you can just go into archives on the right sidebar, open up July 2006 and read from there.
Now that is pretty long... I'm told its a good read, but its a lot of reading, so if you want the shorter version, you can click here, but I must warn you that its not as accurate--The Lovely Steph Leann says the short version changes a few key facts here and there.
Anyway, anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis knows I talk about alot of different things, including those I consider the eyecandy of the world, be it The Goddess or Amy Adams, whom I'm in love with, but anyone paying attention knows how much I adore and love my wife. I dote on her every chance I get, and though I'm sure I annoy the fool out of her--sometimes on purpose--she knows how I feel about her... and yet, sometimes, I just want to tell her again.
So, Sunday at about 2:30pm, we'll have been married for six years. Six of the longest best years of my life, six of the longest most fantastic years of hers. There's always one song that comes to mind when I think of our relationship, and God's plan for me, her and us as it was unfolding for us. "Bless the Broken Road" is kind of the epitome of what I'd have to say about my life before The Lovely Steph Leann... so, this is for you... Happy Anniversary baby. I love you.
I set out on a narrow way many years ago Hoping I would find true love along the broken road But I got lost a time or two Wiped my brow and kept pushing through I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars Pointing me on my way into your loving arms This much I know is true That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you But you just smile and take my hand You've been there you understand It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars Pointing me on my way into your loving arms This much I know is true That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you
Now I'm just rolling home Into my lover's arms This much I know is true That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you.
Vacation is over! Its time to head to Denver... since I'm trying to cram in two nights into a quick recap, I'll go quick and give you the highpoints...
THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL
**Erin the Marine Wife swooned and possibly wee'd herself as they flashback to Daughtry, who auditioned in Denver some years ago. And really, who doesn't like Daughtry? I feel like, if Rob Thomas buffed up and became slightly more masculine, he might be Daughtry. **Because they couldn't find another guest host, I'm sure, Posh Spice is back. The woman is a stick. Seriously. The Enchanting Nikki Brown could look at Posh and say, "Wow. I feel fat next to her." I say that in love... the Enchanting Nikki Brown is about as thin and pretty as you can healthly be. **This guy named Mark say people call him Jack Black, though I think he looks like Jonah Hill. He sounds pretty good, too, doing "Tempted" by Squeeze. He goes to Hollywood. **Some guy named Mario. I didn't get his last name, and it really doesn't matter.
Commercial break
**Is it bad that I get a laugh out of people who come out cursing, swinging at the camera and yelling because they didn't get picked? Not the ones who are just merely crying because they thought they had a shot, but those people who love to say stuff like, "They cut ME and they kept all them bad people!" **Kimberly Kerbow. Love her. Love the song "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michelson, love her audition, I can dig it. **Montage of what seems like 3,000 people who get Golden Tickets. **Karaoke host (!) Danielle Hayes is up next. She's teary in the audition room, as she launches in "I'm the Only One" by Melissa Ethridge... this is the favorite song of The Lovely Steph Leann by the aforementioned musical lesbian (Melissa, not Danielle. Or The Lovely Steph Leann). She doesn't sound perfect, but she's got this raspy voice (Danielle, not Melissa. Or The Lovely Steph Leann.. more on voices later) that sounds great. I like her. (Danielle, I mean. Though I do like Melissa, particularly "Come to My Window". And The Lovely Steph Leann too.)
Commercial break
**Bad costume/outfit montage. While Kara the Hotness continues to be The Hotness, Posh has this weird hair thing going on. Plus, Randy the Dawg held up a pencil and you couldn't see Posh behind it. **Backstore. Cindy Jo is openly weeping. Casey James is singing with a backstory. And somehow, he takes his shirt off.. at the judges request. Paula Abdul is spotted outside, holding a hotel key and begging to be let back in. Mark, the hubby of Cindy Jo, is openly weeping. **So, like, is Denver full of good looking chicks, or are they just picking and choosing the eye candy. Tori Kelly is singing and... of course, I find out she's 16, and I'm a little creeped out at what I just said. Never mind. She sings John Mayer, isn't that memorable except for her fabulous hair, but she's on to Hollywood.
Commercial break
**Austin Paul. You know this is going to be bad, as the video clip portrays him as... well, a dumb jock. And a little egotistical. And it helps that he's singing, "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer. Can we spend more time on thos people who I enjoy hearing? Like, Kimberly Kerbow's version of "The Way I Am"? Anyway. **He comes another guy, Kenny, who is the self-proclaimed "World's best singer" and they show him moving and dancing, and a few seconds later, failing. With the offer to sing something else, they shut him down. And after being shut down, he fulfills his own offer to sing something else.
Really, at no point in the decade of American Idol have any judge--Simon, Paula, Randy, Kristen Chenoweth, Posh, Tarantino, Shania, you name it, never has a single judge said, after initially saying, "Wow, you suck" then turned and said, "Wait, you sound great now! We're glad you decided to go ahead and sing another song even though we told you that you suck... here's your golden ticket now!". Never. Just sayin'.
Commercial break
**You know those drawings where they draw your face a little bigger than normal, and they tend to really accentuate features on your face, with a very tiny body in some weird outfit? Its pronounced Char-ick-a-chure, but I'm puzzled on the exact spelling... anyway, there was a girl who looked like a human version of one of those. Scary. Only slightly more scary than a scattin' Mexican. **Nicci Nix. She flew from Florence, Italy, to audition in Denver. But I don't like her. How can you make such a judgement so soon, you ask? Her voice is really annoying. No, her singing is fine, but her talking?
Like, I went out with a girl that talked like that back in the single swingin' days, and I purposely didn't call her back for one reason--she was great, she was really pretty, she was Godly, and I had a good time... but she talked like Nicci talks. I mean, if I knew that she could have sung all the time, like "Heeey... I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make dinner!" or maybe "I-I-I-I-I will beeeee... at the deeeeentist office tomorrrrrooowww....", I might have called her back. But I couldn't have taken it.
Hey, don't hate. Thats a voice I'd have to hear for the next 50 years. That's why I think that you should enjoy kissing the one you end up with--that's a kiss you'll be getting for 99% of your mornings and evenings for the next four to six decades. If you are waiting til the alter to kiss, so be it, I tip my hat... but The Lovely Steph Leann has a great kiss, has a great voice and can make a mean Sweet Potato Casserole. There wasn't much left after that to mull over. I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'.
Oh, and Nicci made it to Hollywood. Sigh.
Commercial break
**Finally, another Cindy Jo Weepy backstory, mostly about a dead dad not being able to see his daughter audition. And they are going through so much. And Haeley Vaughn wants to be the first black country star--hence, "Last Name" by Carrie Underwood--but I'm sure she's forgetting to mention (or perhaps too young to know and appreciate) Hootie himself, Darius Rucker, and of course, Charley Pride. And she's got a good voice.
And to wrap up, the final contestant of the day... a dude comes in wearing a bikini, and he's going to sing "Achy Breaky Heart". And the best move of the day, all four judges get up and walk out in the first line of the song (that he flubs, by the way).
From Denver, 26 make it to Hollywood, but out of the ones they showed, the only ones I really liked were Kimberly Kerbow, Danielle Hayes
I read a recent review of “The Proposal”, and it made a great point about romantic comedies… usually, within the first 15 minutes, you can kind of deduce the ending. The appeal of the movie is, is what you’ll go through to get that inevitable happily ever after worth the happy ending you knew was coming? For “The Proposal”, I have to say… well, it kinda was.
You have to know I’m a huge Sandra Bullock fan, always have been, and at one point between 1994 and 1998, I went to the theater to see every movie she released... that includes...
“Speed”, with Dayla Ellison on Troy State's campus...
“While You Were Sleeping”, a film I love so much that it ranks as my 52nd favorite film of all time in The Dave100
“The Net”, an intriguing movie about a terrorist attack via the interweb, a premise that in 1995 seemed silly
“Hope Floats”, making it three terrible movies in a row, this one made more so by the fact that I saw it with someone who thought it was a date (it wasn't) and who made me buy her dinner and her movie. Plus, she had really, really thick eyebrows, which was really disturbing.
That many movies in a row with any actor, I’m not sure I can say that for just about anyone right now. Maybe ever.
Right from the get-go, you know exactly how this movie is going to end, but really, it’s a lot of fun to find your way to the moment when Margaret (Sandra) and Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) finally get together.
Margaret Tate is a mean, mean boss, especially taking for granted her hard working, long time, loyal assistant, Andrew Paxton. The predicament is when she, being Canadian and ignoring her call to renew her visa, is threatened with deportation. Her solution? Marry that hard working, long time, taken for granted assistant, and of course, against his will. (Let’s forget that this movie was called “Green Card” when it was released in 1990 and starred Gerard Depardieu and Andie McDowell… because “The Proposal” is a far better film, it gets a pass)
So they travel to Alaska together, to his hometown to meet his family, and… well, hilarity ensues. The supporting characters add much to the fun, including Ramone, who makes a half-dozen appearances, all hilarious, throughout the film. Betty White is the grandma, and has her own issues which are quite funny, Mr. Incredible Coach and Mary Steenburgen are the parents, doing an ample job and worth mentioning is Malin Akerman, who plays Andrew’s former flame Gertrude (really? Gertrude? They couldn’t come up with a better name for that?) I only mention Gertrude because while really good looking here, she wasn’t anywhere near this cute as Silk Spectre II in “Watchmen”.
There is a notable scene, heralded in the media and with critics, where both main characters are naked, accidentally running into each other, he covered in sweat after hard work, she wet after just getting out of the shower. All naughty bits are covered and unseen, though, and the scene is very funny.
This is a nice comeback of sorts for Sandra Bullock, having been a bright spot, perhaps the only bright spot, in films like “Premonition”, “The Lake House” and “Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous”. She’s got another romantic comedy coming up this fall, with Bradley Cooper, called “All About Steve”, and after seeing the trailer for it today… well, I’m looking forward to it. By the way, Ryan Reynolds is actually from Vancouver, and Sandra Bullock hails from Virginia.
Sidebar... I wrote this review about a day or so after I saw the film, but as I was on blogging hiatus, I chose to sit on it and not post it until later. I think this is what I'm going to do for movie reviews... either write them, then wait a few days to post, or wait a few days to write and post, because after a few days, I have a chance to think about how much I liked (or dis-) the movie. I mention this, because after two weeks of thinking about, I really, really liked this film.
Second Sidebar… as The Lovely Steph Leann and I were walking in, towards Theater 14, we were behind these two older ladies just taking their sweet time… which was fine, really. As they (and we) walked past the big cardboard standee poster of “G-Force”. Old Lady 1 turned to Old Lady 2 and asked, “Have you seen that movie yet?” Old Lady 2 said, “No, not yet. But I saw the previews for that, and that movie just looks so funny!” Old Lady 1 replied, “Oh, I know! I think that’s going to be so good!”
Mind you, this is a movie about a crack team of espionage agents infiltrating a madman trying to take over the world. Oh, and the team is talking guinea pigs. I wanted to reach up and thump the ears of both of those old ladies and say, “It’s cause of people like you that my company has this crap, Beverly Hills Chihuahua and 108 versions of Air Bud on their shelves! Because people like you keep going to see that crap!”
FYI... its like, 220 in the morning, I still have two things to do for The Lovely Steph Leann tonight before I go to bed, and I have to be at The Happiest Place in the Mall around 830am... that means that I didn't listen start to finish on all the playlist songs. I will make necessary corrections this weekend... and for you Facebookians... the videos, nor the playlist, will show up. Do the right thing. Go to The Clouds. Bookmark it. Subscribe. You know you want it.
Well, it's been a while since you pulled up Clouds in My Coffee (or "The Clouds" as many, including my Seattle Gal Pal Mindy D'A likes to say) and heard music coming from your speakers. One reader (and I would say her name, but I can never spell it exactly right, and even though the correct spelling is one click away, its late and I'm too tired) kept hers on mute, because she surfs the net at her Pottery Paintin' Place, and now she'll have to go back to it. As always, I run through the list of songs, and why I've put them on this month's playlist--some are repeats from past lists, but the theme of this month is simply "Songs I've Been Listening The Heck Out of For the Last Month or Two".
You know, for whatever reason, you just like a certain song over and over, then after a while, you think, "Okay, I'm done with it" and you drop the CD back into the CD wallet in your car, or you move the song back to the general population and out of your current playlist, to not be touched for who knows how long--could be months. Could be years.
"Your So Vain" by Carly Simon. A Clouds in My Coffee staple. I had some dreams, they were...
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. I have played this song enough to learn how to spell the guys name (and yet, I have trouble with Amaryllis Barnett... Amarylls... Amourellis...). Anyway, this is one of two songs I want played at my funeral. You know, if they do that montage of pics showing events of my all-too-brief life, I want this song playing in the background.
"Just the Two of Us" by Bill Withers. Classic. The music is catchy, soulful, it truly is a great song for a rainy day.
"You and I Both" by Jason Mraz. It took a while for me to come around to the Mraz bandwagon, but I really like this guy. At first, he was almost annoying, but after "The Remedy (I won't worry)" and "Wordplay" and "Geek in the Pink", he's got me sold on him. This one is my favorite. The video is both hilarious and awesome.
"My Favorite Mistake" by Sheryl Crow. No doubt, we all have those. Because of the invention of Facebook, and the large number of former classmates and people I would see every day back in the day, I choose not to list My Favorite Mistakes. Okay, fine, Angiejay. But thats only 'cause I'm still bitter. Ha!
"Bye Bye" by Jo Dee Messina. She had one heck of a One-Two punch with this song and "Heads Carolina, Tails California" (another great tune that I almost put on here)... she later did "Bring on the Rain" and "Burn", but not in succession, so I can argue that her One-Two "Bye Bye/Carolina, California" was one of the best back-to-back hits in country music.
My funniest Jo Dee Messina story... so check it out, I was going on missions to New York City in 2002. Right before, though, I had procured Jo Dee Messina tickets, four of 'em to be exact. So I told Wookiee that he could come, and I invited Jill Berthon and her friend Shannon Hanes. Not really a double date, though it is worthy of note that Jill and I had dated briefly in 2000... this time, though she was just my friend. I mean, there was this other girl named The Lovely Steph Campbell that I was sorta looking at and... well, back to the story...
Anyway, I go on the mission trip, I come back, and the concert is that night. So Wookiee, Jill and Shannon and I go, have a great time, we come home, night is over. Jo Dee does put on a great show, by the way... anyway, when I get home, my roommate Tom is furious with me. I ask Michael and Shawn, the other roommates, whats up and they tell me he's mad at me cause I took out Jill. First of all, I didn't "take out" Jill, we just went to a concert together, and secondly, why does Tom give a crap? Well, Michael informs me, because when you were gone to NYC, they've been out a few times. On dates.
Really? Had no idea. So I had to go and talk to Tom and tell him, and make him believe that I honestly had 1) No intentions on pursuing Jill, that it was just a concert, end of story and 2) I had NO clue that Tom was even interested in Jill remotely. That took some talking, but seriously, I had no idea.
Tom and Jill celebrated five years of bliss this past January, by the way.
"My Boo" by Usher & Alicia Keys. I'm not a huge Usher fan, but I really dig this tune. Admittedly, he does have a great voice, and toss in Alicia's sound, and you got a great slow jam.
"Love Song" by Sara Bareilles. For whatever reason, I got hooked back on this song last week, maybe the week before, and I've played it like, 23 times on my iPod. That may or may not sound like alot, but remember, I listen to about five different podcasts during the week, including Adam Carolla, The Sports Guy, PTI, Rush Limbaugh and Car Talk, and even squeeze in some Dave Ramsey when I can.
"When I Get Where I'm Going" by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton. Here's the other song I want played at my funeral. Play Israel's song first, then have this one complete the photo montage and end with the black screen that says "david dollar... 1975 - 21??" You can fill in the question marks with whatever year it actually is. Don't put question marks for my death year. That's strange.
"Clarity" by John Mayer. My favorite Mayer tune, though I've put it on here about four times tonight... I keep finding the versions that end halfway through the song. Hopefully it works.
"Alone" by Heart. Dude. This song rocks. Carrie Underwood rocked it several years ago on Idol, but you'll never surpass the greatness of Nancy and Ann Wilson. Nor will you surpass their waistlines nowadays. Can they not hire trainers with the bajillions they've made? They were 80s kinda hot back in the day.
"Weak" by SWV. I'll set the scene on this song... back in the early 90s, right after Boyz II Men hit it big, there was a rush of three-some and four-some black dude groups that tried to emulate Boyz' sound--Shai, Jodeci (from which KC and JoJo heralded), All 4 One, Hi-Five, Silkk, etc--and on the opposite gender side, En Vogue hit it big, and chick groups popped up... Jade, Zhane and of course, SWV. Personally? I loved me some SWV... Sista's With Voices. Their hits included "I'm So Into You" and the Michael Jackson samplin' "Right Here/Human Nature", and this one, which I think is a classic.
This video? SOOOOO 90s.
"Until I Fall Away" by The Gin Blossoms. Not really a one hit wonder group... they were responsible for not just "Hey Jealousy" and "Found Out About You", but this one and "Allison Road", all from their album "New Miserable Experience". I would consider them a "one album wonder", meaning one hit album and thats it. Their follow up, "Congratulations, I'm Sorry" had "Follow You Down", but thats all they had left. This song makes me think of Troy State University days, and in particular, Allison Hodnett.
This dashing redhead was a year younger than I, and she was just beautiful. Arriving as a freshman in the fall of 94, she was good friends with Mandy Stewart, a fellow sophomore like myself, and who was also my very good friend, and in fact, Mandy kept trying to encourage something between me and Allison... I finally asked her out, and she rejected me. Ah well, life goes on, right? Well, she was all weird around me for quite a few weeks--this is a trait you chicks have and its freakin' terrible, but thats another blog for another day--when one day she calls me up and asks me to come over to Shackleford Hall to see her. Of course I go. Duh.
I roll over there, rollin' in my 5.0, with my ragtop down so my hair can blow and... no, not really. I think I was driving a Chick Magnet Buick Century. Chicks went out with me for me back then, not cause of my wheels, cause my wheels suuuuuuuuucked for many, many years. Anyway, Allison and I stand outside the lawn space separating Shack and Pace Hall, and this is, oh, I dunno, 11pm? Midnight? No good conversations with me ever happened before 10pm. Anyway, she tells me how dumb she had been, and how she thought I was great, and how she was so sorry for acting the way she did and all, and how she didn't know if anything would come of it, but she wanted to see me again. And then...
"So... would you want to go the movies with me this Wednesday?" she said. There was a movie showing every Wednesday night on Troy's campus back then. "Really? Like, as friends, or like, a real date?" I asked with baited breath and nervous anticipation. "I dunno. Friends. No, a date. We'll make it a date. Seriously." "So you are asking me out on a date?" "Well... I guess I am. Will you go out with me?" Now, while I smiled and said, "Sure, I'd love to," with a restraited acceptance, my stomach was now dancing the fox trot with my spleen, and my entire throat contracted so I could barely breath.
Imagine my disappointment when Wednesday afternoon, she calls me. She is not feeling well, she's been sick all day, and we're going to have to postpone our movie date. I'm let down, but heck, she asked me out, right? I mean, she has to be legitimately sick, right? I didn't talk her into going with me, she asked me out.
I went to the movies anyway, with some friends. And of course, she was there. With John Glasscock. I was kinda mad. I called her later, and her roommate, Liberty Leak, answered and wouldn't put Allison on the phone. You chicks are something else, I tell ya.
Now that I think about it, I don't know if that song fits Allison Hodnett... but it was a fun story to tell.
"Anything but Down" by Sheryl Crow. I don't care for her politics, and unlike Sheryl, I wipe with many, many squares, not just one, but I dig me some Sheryl Crow music. She was also heavily portrayed on my Troy State Soundtrack.
"Can't Let Go" by Mariah Carey. I've often lamented about how much I miss pre-skank Mariah. I think it actually all came crashing down for both she and Whitney Houston when they combined to do that really crappy song "If You Believe" featured in the equally crappy "The Prince of Egypt". Perhaps that one recording studio room couldn't hold that much talent all at once, the talents collided, both were altered and neither was ever the same. I miss she and Whitney both. This song takes me back to high school, though no one in particular comes to mind.
"World on Fire" by Sarah McLachlan. I also love me some Sarah McLachlan. I went to a concert of hers a few years ago. Both me and The Lovely Steph Leann observed that Sarah is quite popular with the members of the Lesbetarian Church. Quite the gay magnet, that Sarah, straight as she may be. Amazing video, by the way. This song, not the gay people.
"Impulsive" by Wilson Phillips. I daresay that YOU do not know a bigger Wilson Phillips fan than myself. I will fully and readily admit that this self-titled album and "Time Love and Tenderness" by Michael Bolton are two CDs that most people would hide in shame, but I will gladly annoucned that I proudly own. I will now put on a white hood and stroll through Ensley.
Back in the 90s, if you were a guy, you were either in the Chyna Camp or in the Wendy Camp, like myself. Its not politically correct, or even nice, but is the honest truth to say no one, and I mean NO ONE was in Camp Carnie. Not a soul.
"The Story" by Brandi Carlile. Dunno why, but this song just hits me. Maybe you should play this song at my funeral, but don't show photos of me... show that Grey's Anatomy video that went along with it. Its much more interesting and flows better with the song than my life would.
"Dead and Bloated" by The Stone Temple Pilots. Said it before, will say it again... Scott Weiland, I'm glad he's clean and sober, if he is still, but he was so much better when he was stoned. He sang better. He performed better. He even looked cooler. I might shoot up before I do the next KidStuf performance, maybe I'll draw the crowds.
I have to admit, though, though I love the Pilots, and think "Core" is a pheeeeeenomonal album, the main reason this song is on this page is because I want someone to hear "I AM SMELLIN' LIKE A ROSE ON MY BIRTHDAY DEATHBED... I AM SMELLIN' LIKE A ROSE CAUSE I'M DEAD AND BLOATED!!!" when they pull my page up. Its so enchanting.
"My My My" by Johnny Gill. Let's face it. This song is about sex. I can't butter it up, I can't explain it away, you just have to know this song is about a guy who loves his chick so much, he just can't get over how hot she is. My my my, my my my my... your so doggone fine. Really, ain't that the way it should be? The Lovely Steph Leann... my my my, my my my my...
In celebrating our 5th anniversary, The Lovely Steph Leann and I decided to do two things we dearly love to do... eat great food and watch a movie.
After pulling a long, magical day at The Happiest Place in the Mall on Saturday, we went to PF Changs for a great dinner... it was a little tough at first, because after I dropped her off at the front door, I drove around looking for a parking spot. After driving around the lot for about five or six minutes, making one big circle, I found one, halfway between PF Changs and The Macaroni Grill (they share a lot, with each restaurant on each end) and patiently waited for a small Mercedes to pass by so I could swing into the spot. I even turned on the blinker, a customary way of saying "Hey man, I earned this spot, this one is mine".
Imagine my surprise when the little Mercedes pulled into the spot. I pulled up a little bit, and parked right behind him. I sat there for a minute, really unsure of exactly what I'd say to him when he got out, but he didn't. He stayed in his car. Finally, I drove off, out of the parking lot, and ended up parking half another lot over in the Barnes & Noble parking area. Then, I walked through the drizzling rain. When I found The Lovely Steph Leann, she was in line to claim our reservations we'd made, and I loudly told her, "I would have been here sooner, as I had found a great spot and was waiting on it. But some jerk in a Mercedes actually stole my spot."
The lady ahead of me turned around, smirking, and said, "Don't you wish you could just ram some people?" I replied, again loudly, "Yeah. But I'll get over it. If you do something like that, that must mean you're a jerk and not many people like you." Then I turned my head around a little, and said, "And if you're listen Mr. Mercedes, you're a jerk." Somehow that made me feel a little better.
After dinner, we walked over to the Barnes & Noble, since I was practically parked there, and browsed a bit... our plan was to go to a late movie, either "He's Just Not That Into You" or "Confessions of a Shopaholic", but considering I had KidStuf (our church's children's program) early Sunday morning, and both of us would have to be at church at 730am, and I still had a few lines to learn, we figured we'd get home a little earlier.
The reason we both had to be at church at 730am, and she couldn't meet me there later, considering she wasn't in KidStuf this morning? Because Toni Rocki Honda decided not to start yesterday, so she's got to go in for a check up.
But, it was a moot point anyway, because I received a call at 645am from our KidStuf director Tamara to say because of the Blizzard of 2009, KidStuf was cancelled. So, "see ya at church at 930!". For me, it wasn't that big of a deal, cause I was asleep when she called, and I could go back to sleep. Of course, before I went back to sleep, I had to get up to tell The Lovely Steph Leann we didn't have to be at church until 930. She was in the shower. She then had about 2+ hours to get ready for church. Not a happy wife.
All that is to say, since The Blizzard of 2009, most afternoon activities at church were cancelled, opening up the afternoon for The Lovely Steph Leann to go check out both of the movies we wanted to see.
First up was "He's Just Not That Into You", an ensemble comedy starring, among others, Drew Barrymore, Justin "I'm a Mac!" Long, Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck. Ensemble movies are always tricky, only because when you have just a few stars in the show, you probably have just a single plot, perhaps a subplot (unless its "Spiderman 3", in which you've got 34 subplots). With an ensemble cast, you have many plots that somehow all need to tie together.
The addition of "Friday, I'm In Love" by The Cure definately adds to the whole trailer
"He's Just Not That Into You" is a relationship comedy based on the self-help book that was based on a line from an episode of "Sex & the City", the episode called "Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little", and is a book about relationships, break-ups, hook-ups and so on. I've never actually read the book, but I might pick it up sooner or later.
The star of the movie is Ginnifer Goodwin, who absolutely looks radiant as Gigi, a girl who just wants a guy to like her, and is continually embarrassed as she continually misreads signals about all the guys who won't call her back. You might know her from "Big Love", the Mormony drama on HBO, and especially from "Walk the Line" as Vivian Cash, Johnny's first wife.
The movie moves from character to character, each with their own lives issues and problems. Gigi can't get Connor (Kevin Connolly) to call her back after their first date, so she ends up leaning on womanizer Alex (Justin Long) for advice, but also on her co-workers Janine (Jennifer Connelly) and Beth (Jennifer Aniston). Beth has her own problems with her boyfriend Neil (Ben Affleck), because they've been dating for 7 years, but he won't marry her. Janine has it even worse, as her husband Ben (Bradley Cooper) has begun to take an interest in another girl, Anna (Scarlett Johansson), who happens to be in an on again/off again relationship with Connor, and is best friends with Mary (Drew Barrymore). You got all that?
Chicks doing what chicks do when they are around other chicks... gossip and talk about boys. And feelings.
While Gigi is the character that gets the most face time in the flick, the film does bounce around from story to story, while intersecting their lives to make the transition a little easier. By no means will this film be up for any sort of award come 2010's award season, but at the same time, the film did what it was supposed to... it made me laugh. It made me smile. It made me like some of the characters, it made me dislike some of the characters, it made me remember that Scarlett Johansson is truly a member of my Angelina Jolie Club (chicks that the world tells me I should fawn over, but truly don't find all that attractive), and it made me dig Ginnifer Goodwin... Gigi is the type of girl you want to end up with.
If there was a lowpoint of the movie, it was the indictment on the failure of marriage. The entity of marriage isn't praised all that much, and only in one single scene towards the end is marriage even looked upon as a good idea... personally, I can dig marriage. But thus the difference in a Christ follower and the World.
After the credits rolled, we strode out of theater 10 and down to theater 12, with The Lovely Steph Leann making a restroom pit stop and me making a stop at the refreshment stand for a pack of Twizzlers, a Cocola and a movie combo.
Along the way, we saw the trailers for "Transformers 2", "Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince" and "Sunshine Cleaning", three movies I'm really looking forward too.
Fisher portrays Rebecca Bloomwood, a girl who shops all the time and practically goes into fits of ecstasy when she sees the name brands on the shelf, like Gucci, Prada, Yves St. Lauren and the like. She almost passes out when she finds out how much she has charged on her credit cards, and the problem is intensified when she loses her job at a gardening magazine.
Her dream job is being a journalist at the prestigious fashion magazine Alette, but to get there, she has to take a job working at a lower end magazine under the same company. The magazine? Successful Savings? The job? Writing a column about finance that the "common folk" can understand.
The movie then follows her escapades as she attempts to move in the company, impress her boss/love interest, magazine editor Luke Brandon (Hugh Dancy), compete with rival Alicia (Leslie Bibb-Ricky Bobby's wife in "Talladega Nights"), prepare for the wedding of her roommate Suze (Krysten Ritter) and, in the part that I found the most enjoyable, avoiding an insanely persistant debt collector (Robert Stanton).
Rebecca finds a pair of cashmere gloves perhaps too tough to pass up
I did find myself enjoying this film, though I noticed it couldn't decide if it wanted to be a slapstick comedy (mannequins coming to life, trying to talk her into buying things or random slipping and dropping food onto expensive dresses) or if it wanted to be taken seriously as a romantic comedy (the chemistry between Luke and Rebecca, the struggle of a single girl trying to make it, etc).
Another thing I couldn't get past was Joan Cusack playing Rebecca's mother, opposite John Goodman as her father. I grew up watching Joan and brother John in various movies, so I know she's not that old... as a matter of fact, Joan Cusack is 14 years older than Isla Fisher...
If anything, the entire movie speaks to the current obsession with credit cards, and how we are a spend-spend-spend-pay-for-it-later nation (a tradition proudly being observed by President B. Hussein Obama), and as the movie does point out, there are consequences to be had. Bills, debt collection, past due notices, credit card company's ridiculous APR policies and yes, shopping addictions are all taken on in this film...
...and while I've got the platform, it should be noted that the debt collector, Robert Smeath, not only shows up at Rebecca's work and causes a scene, he shows up at her door, he threatens her, he encourages his fellow collectors to use humiliation tactics if necessary and there's a scene toward the end where he tries to destroy Rebecca's entire career... this is all illegal under the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act, a law that protects those who owe money to companies. However, either most credit card debt collectors are literally too stupid to know this law, or they figure YOU are too stupid to know this law, so they break it routinely in real life every day. If you have had any of these things happen to you, or worse, you should know your rights.
I'm still trying to figure out to which level I like Isla Fisher. I cannot figure out if she's a poor man's Amy Adams, who I am in love with, or if Amy Adams is a poor man's Isla Fisher... either way, the fact that Isla shares a bed with Sacha Baron "Borat" Cohen doesn't lend itself to currying favor with me.
Final thoughts? I recommend "He's Just Not That Into You" as a theater movie, and "Confessions of a Shopaholic" as a rental, though with either one, I can't imagine needing all the amenities that a $9.25 ticket will buy you, so rent 'em both.
