Birthday Paintings (and other thoughts)

Everyone had their favorite cereals growing up.  I loved several, though, including Cookie Crisp, Count Chocula and Frankenberry, Pebbles of all types, be it Fruity or Cocoa, and Lucky Charms.  When I ate Lucky Charms, I always at all the pieces that were not marshmallows, then at the end, had like, one or two huge scoopfuls of nothing but 'mallow.  It was awesome.

My cereal tastes really haven't gotten all that refined as an adult, though I steer more towards the less sugary, less cartoony kind.  Don't get me wrong, I still like a bowl full of Fruity Pebbles, but I do enjoy Corn Chex (or Kellogg's Crispex, which is essentially the same thing) or some Rice Krispies.

But two I usually have, or at least rotate through are Frosted Mini Wheats and Kellogg's Raisin Bran.  I have the latter in my house at this moment, though I do dig on the former a little more.  Problem is, its so cotton' pickin' expensive.  A good box of Frosted Mini-Wheats will cost you upwards of 4, maybe even 5 dollars. 

Sure, I could go to Wal-Mart, where many times items are a bit cheaper... however, Wal-Mart doesn't carry the Mini-Wheats I want.  I want the Mini-Wheats in the red box.  I want the Mini-Wheats that are frosted, they are about two inches long per... well, the box says "biscuit", but I'd just call it a "mini-wheat"... anyway, I want the regular Frosted Mini-Wheats.

Worked at Starbucks tonight, and after work, I stopped by Wal-Mart to get some milk...

...is there anything worse than having like, a half-inch of milk when you really want some cereal?  Like, just enough milk to wet whatever you pour in a bowl, but if you pour more than a half-inch of cereal, you have dry cereal... its dreadful... where was I?

...and some cereal.  Checked out the cereal aisle, and studied the mini-wheat selection.  I'd been here in this very aisle before, with the same results.  There are Frosted Mini-Wheat Little Bites, Chocolate Mini-Wheat Little Bites, Cinnamon Streusel Bite Size, Cinnamon Streusel Regular, Blueberry Muffin Bite Size, Strawberry Delight Bite Size, Maple and Brown Sugar Bite Size and Maple and Brown Sugar Regular Mini-Wheats.

But no Regular Sized Frosted Mini-Wheats.  Can't a guy get some Frosted, regular size Mini-Wheats?  I don't ask for much, really.  I did end up buying some Eggo Waffle Cereal, because it was only $2.00 and it looked like it might be good and not good for me.  Always a plus. 

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This past Saturday was The Lovely Steph Leann's birthday celebration.  Her birthday is actually next Saturday, but she'll be out of town, so we celebrated a little early.  I had to work Saturday morning, but still had our friend Cah-Lah Rah pick her up at 11a, take her to lunch to meet her (our) friends DeLisa, The Dainty Steph Halpert and Emmy Turnbow, then off to Painted By U, owned and operated by Amarylis By Morning (up from san antone) to meet up Mama Ruthless and The Lovely Steph Leann's sister and kids for a big pottery paintin' party.




Here's Cahlah Rah, The Lovely Steph Leann, DeLisa and The Dainty Steph Halpert

 Had to do a bit of rushing around after I got off work, though.  Had to pick up dessert (chocolate covered strawberries), had to run into Wal-Mart (somehow I always do), and I had to go into The Dollar Tree for a couple of gift bags.

While I was in Wal-Mart, I picked up a few things needed for The Lovely Steph Leann's big day, and also a bottle of water, because I was thirsty as all get out.  So, when I walked into The Dollar Tree, I didn't think anything about taking my water with me, sipping/gulping as I did my quick shopping.  I ended up with two gift bags and, did you know they do Mylar Balloons there?  I got two of those.

I bought these at Edible Arrangements.  They are very
pricey, but extremely tasty.

The girl ringing me up just did not enjoy her job.  Don't know if it was that she was in her mid-30s, maybe 40s, and was working retail at The Dollar Tree, don't know if she had a personal issue in her life that was just keeping her from enjoying her day, but she didn't want to be there.  I was bothering her with my gift bag and my balloons and my smile and my "how are you today?" and my easy-to-please purchases. 

"That's $4.38" she says.
"Alrighty," I replied cheerfully, running my card through the swiper.  She put my bags into a plastic bag, then glanced down at my half-full bottle of water.

"Did you get that here?" she said suspiciously.
"Nope, bought it at Wal-Mart a few minutes ago.  Didn't even know you sold Dasani water."
"We do," she said, smirking at me, glancing at my water, and back up at me again.

"I got it at Wal-Mart," I said again.  I paused, and then added, "I have the receipt in my car.  I'll be happy to get it for you."

She smirked again, not believing anything  a word I said.

The rest of the day was just smashing, however.

You can contact Amarylis by Morning (up from san antone) at Painted By U by calling 205-988-8933, visiting their website at www.paintedbyu.com, or find them on Twitter and Facebook by looking for "Painted By U"

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So, as I said before, I worked Starbucks tonight, which means after the visit to Wal-Mart, I got home around 11p.  And I fired up the DVR and watched this week's episode of WWE: Raw, and when it was over, I scrolled to Hawaii Five-O.  Watching it now, and it's awesome.

Though it is a little weird to have Jin from LOST speak English.

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Two restaurants I've visited recently... one is Flip Burger.  Located at The Summit, its the "burger boutique", two words that may or may not ever belong together.  The atmosphere is modern, a little quirky and kind of fun.  The booth I sat in, as are all the booths, have backs that go all the way to the ceiling, almost like you are sitting in this little alcove in the wall, with a window.

The food is a bit pricey.  I ordered the burger combo with the fries and a milkshake ($12), and they delivered it fairly soon.  The burger reminded me of the overpriced sized burger you'd find at Hamburger Heaven or The Varsity in Atlanta, but was pretty good.  The fries were tasty, but the real treat was the milkshake. 

They serve some of the milkshakes with nitrogen on the top, so they are still smoking when they bring it to you, cold as they can possibly get without freezing.  I had the famous "Krispy Kreme Milkshake" and while it was good, and MZ, who I had met for lunch (I love Starbucks meetings on my day off... at least I got lunch) had the "Creme Brulee Milkshake", and that one was exceptional.  As always, I want the thing I didn't order.

Overall, it was a good dining experience, but my bill, with tip, came out to be about $16.  Considering I can get a huge meal at Milo's for about $6, and if I'm really wanting a milkshake bad enough, I can go over to Zaxbys and get a fantastic shake for $3, I'd probably do that.  Meaning I probably won't go to Flip again unless I'm with a group I want to be with and they all go, or someone else is buying, though I'd take The Lovely Steph Leann if she wanted to go.

Also recently, on a whim because I was hungry, I visited Chuy's (pronounced "Chewie's), again at The Summit.  The atmosphere was cool, with Mexican license plates all over the walls, a south of the border motif, and even stuff hanging from the ceiling everywhere.

I went around 11am, and a good thing too, because by 1130, people were starting to line up in the front to get in.  The menu is quite extensive, as you'd expect.  I ended up with the Baja Tacos, with no jalapeno sauce and light cilantro (its funny, because I asked for light cilantro and they put one small, single leaf on each of the two tacos I got.)

The plates were huge, and my tacos were essentially two pieces of fried shrimp wrapped in a tortilla... and surprisingly, it was great.  What wasn't all that great was the cheese dip.  Its slightly spicy, and for anyone who knows me, you know I'm not digging on spice, but even then, it was a little too thin and not nearly as good as you'd get from Pablo's around the corner.

The chips were excellent, though.  When the basket was emptied, the waitress came around with a huge scoop, and poured new chips into the basket--and they were warm, almost like she dipped them straight out of the fryer, shook off the grease and came to my table.

I feel like I paid about the same for my lunch as I did at Flip Burger, but Chuy's was a better value for the amount of food I recieved.    I'd go to Chuy's again, but like Flip, I'd probably go with people or if someone else was buying (hello business lunch!)... or, of course, if The Lovely Steph Leann wanted to go.

Make sure you visit Chuy's at off-hours though, like before or an hour or two after lunch, or before and after the dinner time hours.  Friday and Saturday evenings are probably impossible.  I've heard horror stories about the wait time there.

She Puts the "Lovely" in Lovely Steph Leann

Been a long day of making magic and then making coffee, so when I get home after a day of solid work, its always nice when The Lovely Steph Leann is still up. 

The Lovely Steph Leann is not a night person.  Well, that's not fair, she loves the night, she loves the sunsets, she loves laying on the couch watching "Drop Dead Diva" on Lifetime, or snoozing while "Clean House" is on the Style Network (she does love her some Niecy Nash) as the afternoon turns into evenings.  Bottom line is, she loves her sleep.  Its in her family. 

Her mom and dad are like that, and her brother, Tyler, is definately like that.  Once, coming out of Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship), he rode with us to lunch, which was about 2 miles away at Jim-n-Nick's BBQ.  He was asleep before we left the church parking lot, snored on the way there, and was fully awake and alert as we got out at the restaurant.  The Lovely Steph Leann is her brother's sister.

Sometimes days go by where we have a combined twenty minutes or less of any kind of coherent contact.  That is partly on me, as I do stay up later--after working from 8am to after 10p in two different jobs, especially I don't have to go to work in the morning (like tomorrow), I will stay up and write, catch up on reading, watch episodes of The Amazing Race & WWE: Raw (like tonight!) and other shows, and then enjoy sleeping in.   Point is, we don't spend a ton of time together.

Which is why when I do come home, when she is up, when I find her checking her email or watching tv, it makes me happy.  This means we can sit and chat, even for just a few minutes.

One of the best things about being married... well, besides the obvious... are those random, we're-married-but-we're-also-best-friends-conversations.  And tonight, I found her checking her email on the laptop upstairs in our guest room, so I came in, kissed her hello and plopped down on The Futon.

(Why is it The Futon, and not just the futon?  If you knew what we paid for this thing, you'd capitilize it too)

Anyway, she slowly swerved her chair around, threw her foot up onto my knee and wiggled her toes in a "yep.  rub 'em" fashion and smiled.  And, we chatted.  Talked about work.  Talked about Disney and our February trip.  Name dropped a few of our friends.  Some small talk, some important, some not so important.  As she talked, I just leaned my head back on The Futon, and admired The Lovely Steph Leann.  It was just another reminder of how pretty... how lovely... she is.

She cleaned the absolute heck out of The Cabana this weekend, so she was due a footrub... not that I am very good at it, but I tried... for a minute anyway.  We had a baby shower for The Dainty Steph Halpert, and, like always, we/she leaves much of the cleaning until the last few days.  Then, its a mad dash like a Lysol Tornado to get The Cabana in fresh working order.   Notice I said "she" cleaned the house and not "we".

Ah, you think I'm a bad husband for not helping more? Perhaps.  But I'm also smart.  Not smart, as in, "haha, look at what I got out of", but smart as in "yeah, I know how not to get yelled at by a stressed out wife".  As in, I move out of the way until I'm told what to do.  As in, I went and got some baby shower supplies, I went and got lunch, I wrapped a gift, I moved some stuff, I put some stuff back, I just did what I was told.  So much easier.  I've learned the hard way that to just start doing stuff without consulting her plan for tackling The Cabana's cleanliness is just plain foolishness.  So, I don't. 

Having said that, I'll do whatever she asks... I've wiped down shelves and mopped floors and dusted this that and the other and though you might think, "Why don't you just take it upon yourself to do these things without her asking you?"  Again, its easier to not screw things up, then have her get upset at me that not only "do I have to do my original stuff, now I have to re-do what you messed up."  See, its just easier.

So, anyway, I just thought I'd take a minute or two and just discuss The Lovely Steph Leann... cause she deserves it.  I mention her alot, but never get to talk about her much. 

One of the fun things about The Lovely Steph Leann, regarding this blog is actually her name "The Lovely Steph Leann".  There are so many people out there that read this blog that only know the woman who lowered her standards enough to marry d$ as "The Lovely Steph Leann".  People have even mentioned her by that full moniker when chatting on Facebook or elsewhere.  "Tell The Lovely Steph Leann I said hello!" or "I liked what The Lovely Steph Leann said in that thing she wrote" and "How is The Lovely Steph Leann?" are statements I've all heard more than once. 

Wednesday we take one of those fun road trips, this time to Pensacola.  I'm sure I'll talk more about it after its over... but its one of those four hours in the car rides, just she and I, and if we didn't like each other, it would be miserable.  But we not only love each other, we like each other.  So it should be a hoot. 

Why all this tonight?  You know... just sayin'.

Shay... I'm Sorry

It's always a magical day at The Happiest Place in the Mall. Somedays just happen to be more magical than others, really. This doesn't preclude an admission of a bad day, not in the least... in fact, it was a pretty good day. Except for about, oh, 13 minutes or so around 2pm.

The Lovely Steph Leann always cracks up when I tell her my "guest" stories, because usually I do the voices and everything (especially if the guest is a dern feraner, in which I imitate accents--I've never claimed to be politically correct) but she's in Odenville for the weekend, so I'll have to do my voices later for her.

I had just sent The Dainty Steph Halpert on her break for the afternoon, leaving myself behind the register, and our Magical Manager at the other register. We had quite a line building, so I turned on the magic for each and every guest buying things from Pull String Woodys to Percy and Tito plush (2 for $20!).

An older, well dressed, seemingly well to do gentlemen stepped up with a plastic grocery sack in his hand, and usually when they bring a bag to the box office register, I can tell when someone is returning something, so I happily said, "Hi. How are ya?"

"Miserable," said the older man. He was probably in his 50s, maybe early 60s, blazer, stiff collar, slightly balding, perhaps 5'7, maybe a little taller, mustache. "Sorry about that, so how can I make your day a little more magical?"

He then proceeds to pull out a little snowglobe... well, half of one. Its about two inches in diameter, with a pinkish base standing about two inches tall. Upon the base sits a ceramic Tinkerbell, with some other little decor around her. If this were a brand new Tinkerbell mini-snowglobe, she would be encased in a small glass sphere, filled with water and glitter. This particular one had no glass, though... this one had little jagged pieces of glass jutting out in a circle around the top rim of the base.

Mr. Personality then hands me the snowglobe. Fully aware of what is wrong, I grasp the bottom of the base carefully so as not to, you know, slice my fingers open. He then says, after he's already released it and I have it safely in my hands, "Be careful, there is glass on it."

"Well, what can I do for you, sir?" I ask.
"For starters, you can replace it," he sternly says, almost as if he expected that to be the last word, and I would simply say, "YES SIR!" and hand over another one.
"Can you tell me what happened?" I then asked.

Normally, when I ask this question, at least with a snowglobe in question, I get "Yes, we bought this earlier and someone packed it wrong. It broke in the bag, and now all my other purchases are wet" or maybe "This fell off the shelf in the back" or even "It sprung a leak on me when I got home, and I had to smash it to keep glass from going everywhere" (I've heard all three of these at one time or another.)

No. Mr. Personality says, "Well, we bought this thing, got it home, and my granddaughter was holding it. She dropped it, and it smashed all over the floor. Glass went everywhere. Glass and water. So, I'd like you to replace it."

I stared at him for a few seconds. Finally, I spoke, watching my words carefully, making sure I understood what he just told me. "So... you had this at home, and your granddaughter dropped it. It broke. And you'd like us to give you another one."

"Yep. Slipped right out of her hands."

"Sir..." I began, trying not to actually smile. How could I state what the obvious response was, without sounding condescending? "I can't replace this if you broke it at home. It's not a toy. It's a snowglobe."

"What?" Mr. Personality looked at me with an angry glare. "My granddaughter is three years old, and she was playing with it. It shouldn't have broken!"

"Uh... sir, its a snowglobe. It's considered a collectable. Its glass, you drop it, its going to break." Okay, to the Coffee Drinkers reading this, I know how incredibly rude this sounds. Seriously, though, I was trying to be as absolutely genuine as I possibly could be... but still...

He stared at me again, and finally, angrily said, "Give me the number to your home office right now." I smiled and said, "Sure." I got the number and wrote it on a piece of paper. "And here is my name and our store number, in case you need to reference it." I wrote my name down for him, and our store information and handed it off to him.

"I'll be making a call to your home office about this. This is ridiculous." He grabbed his bag, stormed off and left.

Understand this about me. Very, very few things surprise me. I find out that a marriage breaks up, I find out that someone is pregnant, I find out that a business is closing or a once-loved celebrity is actually a celebutard or so-and-so is doing this-and-that... I've been around enough "Holy crap" moments to not be surprised at much of anything anymore, for better or for worse. So this guy being a jerkweed for a snowglobe that was broken outside of our control didn't surprise me in the least. Its the nature of retail.

That being said, I do get rattled from time to time. And after Mr. Personality stormed off, I was a little rattled. I wasn't upset, I wasn't hurt, I didn't take it personally, but my brain was a little haywire for a minute or two at the idiocy of someone buying something perfectly constructed, taking it home, breaking it, purposeful or not, then coming back to get their money back. Seriously, who does that?

Here's where things are a little blurry... mostly because my brain was a little rattled. I don't know if it was the very next guest, or a few guests later, but a young lady walked up, put two Power Ranger blasters and a couple of other things on the counter. I smiled and said, "Hi ma'am, did you find everything you need today?"

"If you call me ma'am again, I'll have to come across that counter at you," she smiled. Brain rattled, I didn't take this is a "friendly jab", I took this as a "another guest who just ain't happy." I fumbled my response, I think I tried to make some joke about calling her "Young girl" instead of "ma'am", but it came out all wrong.

When she handed me the credit/debit card to pay, I asked for ID like I always do when presented with a plastic form of payment. She gave me a weird look, then her face fell a little, then she handed me her driver's license.

"Shay Conway" was the name on the card. And my stomach dropped.

You know how we all have that little guy or girl in our brains, pushing the buttons--they are the ones that push the buttons to clear your head, or to make you understand something suddenly, or to tell you "Hey, my arm is bleeding and it hurts", or even when they are feeling frisky, they'll push ALL the buttons at one time when you are almost asleep so suddenly your entire body does that violent jerk thing in bed and suddenly you're awake again? You know, that guy?

Well, the little guy in my brain somehow set the reset button and everything became crystal clear. It was Shay Conway. Formerly Shaw Oliver.

A few weeks ago, I found this chick online from my high school days on Facebook, named DeAnn Weston. I met her on my senior cruise in the Bahamas, and after the cruise, DeAnn and I remained friends, and I befriended some of her friends, including Shay Oliver. Me and Shay, we went out a few times, it was a fun couple of dates (one of which to see "Indecent Proposal", which is better than "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!" which we saw later), we kept up with each other for a while after that, but then, I went to one school, she went to another, we lost touch.

So, imagine my surprise when, through DeAnn, I find Shay Oliver, though now she's Conway--or maybe she found me, I dunno--on Facebook. We post on each other's wall a few times, and finally, we end up having a Facebook chat where we caught up... we discussed life then and now, rehashed a few old memories, she gushed about her husband and kids, I gushed about The Lovely Steph Leann, and she said next time she was in Birmingham, she'd come into The Happiest Place in the Mall and say hello. I told her it was imperative that she did, even if it was just to get a snapshot for my "Me And..." photo album online.

And now, here she was, standing in front of me, and I didn't even know who she was. I told her, "If we weren't so busy, I'd have to come around and talk to you!" She signed her credit card slip, hands shaking--she then said, "I've got really low blood sugar right now, so I've got to get something to eat pretty quickly." She handed me back the pen, grabbed her bag and turned away. "Go to the food court! Get some food!" I said after her. "See you soon!" She waved her hand, a casual "eh" kind of wave and said, "Yeah, see you later."

I felt like a complete tool. How could I not recognize her? Well, for starters, I haven't seen her since the summer of 1993, and I had just had an undesirable interaction with the principal of a local charm school, so that didn't help... but, no excused.

So... right here, in front of the ones of tens of people that read this blog, I say to you, Shay Conway... I'm sorry. I should have recognized you. I had quite an experience moments before you got up to pay, but that's not an excuse. I always harken back to Baby's father, Dr. Houseman, when he approached Johnny and Baby after the big "Had the Time of My Life" dance... "When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong." I hope you forgive me, and come back to see me at The Happiest Place in the Mall! (by the way, did you know that Baby is going to be 50 next March? Whaaaa???? FIFTY!!)

Wanna know how it all ended? Well, glad you asked...

Mr. Personality came back in about fifteen minutes later, this time, bringing his wife, Mrs. Congeniality. Instead of coming to my line, they head to our Magical Manager, behind the other register. Mr. Personality pulls out the same snowglobe, hands it to her in the same manner, and says, "I've changed my mind, I want this exchanged."

"Did it break here in our store?"
"No, it broke at home. My granddaughter was holding it, and it slipped out of her fingers and it broke," said Mr. Personality.
"And it landed on carpet!" said Mrs. Congeniality, "and it still broke!"
"Uh... I can't replace something that you broke at your house..." said our Magical Manager.
"Why not! It broke! You have these things set out like toys!" said Mr. Personality.
"I'm sorry sir, but its a snowglobe. That would be like my cat jumping on a table, breaking something and me trying to take it back. I can't just give you a replacement on something that broke in your house," said Magical Manager.
"I don't believe this!" said Mrs. Congeniality. "There aren't any signs set up around them or anything!"
"Ma'am, its a snowglobe. Its glass." said our Magical Manager.
(for reference, The Dainty Steph Halpert and I checked the mini snowglobe fixture a little while later, after I relayed the story, and everyone of them had a little tag on it with a long paragraph of instruction and warning, instructions that began with the words "This is not a toy...")

Keep in mind that I'm currently ringing up more guests, having a very fun and friendly conversation with someone who is headed to The Happiest Place on Earth in a week or so, trying to talk over the ever increasing volume of Mr. Personality and Mrs. Congeniality.

"It's fifteen dollars! We spend hundreds of dollars in this store all time, and you're going to lose my money over fifteen dollars?" said Mrs. Congeniality.
"I'm sorry, but I cannot give you a refund or an exchange on a product you purchased here, took home and broke. If it was broken here, or the item was broken when you got it home, that would be one thing, but your granddaughter dropped it and it broke. Its glass, its going to break!" said our Magical Manager. Inside, my inner sista is yelling "Yeah! You tell her! You go girl!"
"I heard they were so cheap that Disney is going to replace them with plastic anyway! That's how cheaply made they are!" said Mrs. Congeniality.
Our Magical Manager just kind of stared at her, and I even looked over, with a "What?" expression.
"Yeah, you've had so many people bring them back and complain about them, they are going to make them with plastic instead of glass. You don't even know what's in your products, do you?"

(again, for reference, I discovered the source of this little nugget of info... we had another guy on the stage, greeting people, and when I was telling him the story, and how Mrs. Congeniality had said something about Disney replacing the product, he said, "What?! No! They came in, and told me about it, and I just said that we had had several of them broken by other guests, so they were doing a stronger glass, so it would be hard like plastic... you know, like the Buzz Lightyear mini snowglobe--it has much harder glass! I never said they were going to replace it! What the crap!?")

With one last closing statement, sounding something like, "Well, Magical Manager (she used our managers name, fyi) I'm going to tell everyone I know how you run your business and to never come in this store again! I'm never spending another cent in here!", Mrs. Congeniality and Mr. Personality took back their sad, broken little snowglobe and exited quickly.

Both the next guests who stepped up to my register and stepped up to our Magical Manager's register told each of us something along the lines of "Well, that was just rude, I would never do that." We both were commended on how we handled it.

Furthermore, I typed this blog tonight as a both a slice o'life story (and if Mrs. Congeniality or Mr. Personality happen to be your pawpaw or uncle or what have you, and you hear a completely different story about how terrible we were, then just take to heart what I said. This is what happened) and an apology to Shay Conway. When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong... at least to Shaycon. To Mr. & Mrs., you two are poopyheads, and I do believe The Happiest Place in the Mall will survive without your "hundreds of dollars" that you seem to have spent while I am not there, even though I'm there at least 40+ hours per week. And I'm not wrong.

PS... Shaycon posted a note on Facebook tonight, after I had almost finished writing this, and told her story of coming to Birmingham with low blood sugar, and what a terrible day it had been... she even wrote:

I remember standing in line for the register and thinking it isn't normal for a person to be trembling like this. So I get to the register and have a brief conversation with an old friend, even though he didn't recognize me at first! Sorry if I was rude!

Well, there you have it. Maybe I wasn't wrong. My apology stands.

Reports from The Happiest Place on Earth

So, here's our Walt Disney World vacation for our 5th Anniversary, 2009. I tried to figure out the best way to tell it without rambling, but the best way really was just tell some stories. Read the ones you want, skip the ones you don't, but along the way, I'll give you some great Disney tips and perhaps some food reports too... it might be two columns, it might be four, who knows... but, here we go...

I love seeing Cinderella's castle at the beginning of any of my Disney vacations. The broad base and moat, the tall blue spires that reach towards the heavens in... well, for lack of a better term, a majestic fashion. I know the castle doesn't do this for everyone.



Different things excite different people. I could care less about U2, I think Rammer Jammer is stupid and though I can dig on "Hey Ya!", its not my favorite joint... but in the same way that Mikey gets excited when he hears the opening notes of "With or Without You" in a U2 concert, or in the same way that Tyler Campbell jumps for joy when Rammer Jammer starts blaring from the band or in the same way that Mindy D'A starts breakin' it down when "Hey Ya" comes on the radio, I am about Disney World. (granted, I'm not sure that Mindy D'A breaks anything down when she hears OutKast, but I thought I'd name drop)

There's so much to tell in any trip to The Happiest Place on Earth, especially one that starts on a Thursday night, and doesn't end until Saturday of the following week. This was planned to be the 5th Anniversary vacation for myself and The Lovely Steph Leann--we had honeymooned here the first week of March, 2004, for 4 days before embarking on a 3 day Disney Cruise, so we thought a return for our fifth year kickoff would be grand. We'd already been 2 times in between, but who's counting.

Well, along the planning stages, somehow, someway, The Lovely Steph Leann's mom, Ruth, and Aunt Becky worked their way into the trip. Being a manager assistanty type person, a part payment for my hard earned work is the ability to get myself and three others into the parks pretty much most of the time. So, for you math skolurs out there, take myself, add The Lovely Steph Leann, throw in my just wonderful mother in law and now the aunt, and that makes four.

Discussions where had, compromises were negotiated, and no matter how I did or didn't feel about the entire thing, it was what it was, it is what it is, and Ruthy Campbell was paying for gas, so there ya go.

The thought was to leave late, late Thursday night, possibly around 10 or 11pm, drive all through the night and arrive at The Magic Kingdom around 8ish or so. The women would sleep in the car, I could drive the trip, and the next day, I'd be dead tired, but hey, I've done the whole "up for what feels like a bajillion hours" before. Well, we're taking this behemoth of a vehicle, a GMC Yukon, the type of SUV that cars like Toni Rocki Honda would actually orbit around, and I'm just not comfortable driving something that unfamiliar.

So, in my brilliance, I called up The Lovely Steph Leann a few days prior to departing, and suggested that we leave earlier, and get a room for Thursday night. She agreed, I called down and though Pop Century was completely full, we upgraded slightly for a night at Port Orleans Riverside...

...DISNEY TIP!!! There are several catagories of rooms, with the least expensive being "Value Resort", which is All Star Movies, All Star Sports, All Star Music and Pop Century. I highly recommend these, mostly because all you truly need is a bed at Disney. That being said, sometime it is nice to go a little better every now and then. "Moderate Resorts" include Coronado Springs, Port Orleans Riverside, Port Orleans French Quarter and Carribean Beach. From there, you get to "Deluxe Resorts", which include the very pricey digs like Grand Floridian, Yacht & Beach Club, The Polynesian, The Contemporary, Animal Kingdom Lodge, Fort Wilderness Lodge, Boardwalk Inn, Saratoga Springs and a few others. Beyond that, you've also got Disney Vacation Club resorts, campgrounds and a few other places mixed in...

...which is cool because we'd never stayed at Port Orleans Riverside. Its kind of my thing now, I want to try to stay in the different hotels at some point, with the ultimate dream of mine being The Polynesian, with all its tropical atmosphere and tiki towers rising through the lobby. We stayed at Animal Kingdom Lodge for a night in September of last year, when we went with our friends DeLisa and DeNick, and it was glorious.

The hotel we slept in... for about four hours. It was awesome. And breakfast was great, too.

Problem was, we actually didn't quite get out of town until around 6pm, or after, and truthfully, when you have three women picking at each other about which direction to head, and who it is to blame for why we left so late and so on and so forth, its easier to just sit in the back seat, plug in my earbuds, and keep quiet.

After all this, we finally rolled up into Disney World, or at least Port Orleans Riverside, around 430, maybe 5am Eastern Time. Check out at the hotel was 11am, and we hadn't even checked in yet. I laid my head to rest around 530p, The Lovely Steph Leann didn't get to lay down until closer to 6am. We slept until around 9, then had to get up and pack up the few things that we had taken out. It might be silly to pay for a room for only a few hours, but trust me, that sleep was invaluable--I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

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The benefit of having so many days in front of you at The Happiest Place on Earth is that you can take your time doing everything. Magic Kingdom is not nearly the biggest size-wise, but has the most to do and is the park that is almost impossible to cover in a single day, so we had already planned to break it into two, perhaps three days, so we hit Magic Kingdom first, doing most of Tomorrowland... we rode Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, we toured the Monster's Inc Laugh Floor (both highly recommended rides), we rode Space Mountain--which, by the way, they will be closing later this year to update it, making it faster, darker and adding music.

We strolled into Pixie Hollow, which is located in Toontown...

... DISNEY TIP!!! The Magic Kingdom is comprised of seven different areas, each with its own style and atmosphere. Besides Tomorrowland, there is Main Street USA, which you walk on when you enter the park, finding various shops and such... Liberty Square, where you'll find the Haunted Mansion... Adventureland is the home of the Jungle Cruise, the Tiki Room and Aladdin's Magic Carpet Ride... Frontierland has Splash Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain... Mickey's Toontown Fair contains Goofy's Barnstormer kid coaster and The County Bounty... and finally, Fantasyland, a big area with all the major traditional rides like Mad Hatter's Tea Party, aka the teacups, Dumbo, Peter Pan's Flight, It's a Small World and so on...

...more specifically, the County Bounty, a huge pavilion of gifts and stuff. To the right side of the County Bounty, once you enter the big doors, you'll see two queues, one to meet princesses, and the other to meet fairies. We got in line, and for the first time, was able to meet Tinkerbell (who called my pin lanyard 'flitterific') and her fairy BFFs Silvermist and Rosetta.

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FOOD!!! That night we ate at 1900 Park Fare, which is located at The Grand Floridian Resort & Spa, at Cinderella's Royal Gala. Quite simply, its this huge buffet topped off with table visits by Cinderella, her boo Prince Charming, the Wicked Stepmother, and the two stepsisters, Drisella and Anastacia. The two stepsisters are my favorites, though, because they always seem to really play it up great.


Dessert was marvelous

Dinner for me consisted of yummy creamed potatoes and a large hunk of sliced roast beast, some mac & cheese, some other foods I can't think of, a bowl of chilled strawberry soup, and several little bitesized cheesecake tarts, berry tarts and chocolately junk. It was a-may-zing.

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After just passing out within ten minutes of getting to Room 240 at Pop Century, I slept like a baby. And since we went slower on Friday, we had to be up early on Saturday to hit the ground running... and Saturday...

TOY STORY MIDWAY MANIA!!! This was a ride we had been unable to ride last September due to the fact the wait was up to 3 hours in length. I had heard this ride was just unbelievably a fun ride to be on, so I wanted to prove it for myself... The Lovely Steph Leann and I raced... well, I say raced, but you have to understand, The Lovely Steph Leann doesn't run. She just doesn't. I was talking with The Dainty Steph Halpert earlier tonight, and she agreed, "Yeah, Stephanie doesn't run. I'm sure of that."

So when I say "race", we really just walked kinda fast. We got there and immediately got our fast passes, then immediately jumped in the currently-only-20-minute-wait-but-soon-to-grow-to-hours line. The queue is fascinating, as its as if your a toy sized being walking through Andy's room... everything is enlarged, from the crayons to the Tinkertoys to the Barrel o'Monkeys to the Scrabble game on the ceiling. In the back is Mr. Potato Head, telling jokes and singing and welcoming one and all to Toy Story Midway Mania.





Finally, we get to the ride, and are just giddy... seriously, we've heard from a ton of people that the ride is great, but truly, we really don't have much of an idea of what we'll be doing. We get in to the little car, both of us sitting behind brightly colored "guns" with a little pull string coming out of it. We throw on our 3D glasses, and suddenly are whirled in front of a screen with Woody and Jessie, as they tell us its time to practice. Pull back on the string, and a little "ball" flies across the screen, smashing "paint" all over a plate Jessie is holding.

Hold on... this is... kinda cool... this is really, really cool!

The little car zips around through various scenes, and we shoot ducks and plates and balloons and we try to ring the little alien guys and it was 100% incredible awesome. It was a ride you wanted to continue, so as soon as it ended, we hung out in the Pixar area until our fastpasses allowed us to ride it again. Over the course of our vacation, we rode Toy Story Mania five times.

...DISNEY TIP!! When you go to Hollywood Studios, you want to go immediately to this ride if you plan on doing it. Why? Because that is what every single other person will be doing. The fastpasses will sell out usually by midday, but even if you got one of the last ones they give, it wouldn't let you on the ride until 4, 5, maybe 6pm. My suggestion is to get a fastpass for it right off the bat, then either ride it then (allowing you to ride it again later with your fastpass) or just ride it a little later. The wait time will get up to an hour or more. If you aren't interested in this ride, though that's just weird, this is a good time to go straight to Tower of Terror and Rock'n Roller Coaster, because again, most people will be at Toy Story Mania

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We headed over to The Beauty and the Beast stage show, which is about 30 minutes in length, but is worth it. The colors are vibrant, the music is great--yes, the songs are somewhat condensed, but its enough "Gaston" to whet your appetite--and the dancing is top notch. Plus, its a great chance to sit and relax, especially since the theater is covered, during the summer months it will be awesome. Another show that is along the same lines, though not quite as good is "The Voyage of the Little Mermaid", which is simply the Little Mermaid story.



Ursula looks cool, but beyond that, its just a so-so show. Its a good wake up, though, when onstage the ship is in the storm, and in the audience, you get rained on. Sprinkles, really, but it will make you wet. Beware.

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They just started The American Idol Experience at Hollywood Studios, which both The Lovely Steph Leann and I jumped at. Earlier in the day, we passed the audition area, where you could sing for the judges to try and get on the show, but The Lovely Steph Leann refused to do so.

Though the "grand opening" wasnt until the next week, February 14th, they were showing "preview shows" all week. We filed in, and the stage looks like what the American Idol stage probably looks like in real life. There was a judges table, with the Coke containers sitting so you could clearly read "Coke".


The stage is set. The contestants are here. The dream is alive. THIS. IS. AMERICAN IDOL (lite)

A guy comes out, energizes the crowd and tells us how it all works (apparently, they do this on the real show too)... quite simply, three people perform, that being three guests who auditioned and were chosen. The audience picks the winner. Our host comes out, this chick with long legs and a bit too much makeup, and three judges come out, two girls and a non-British guy on the end.

Since its a preview day, the prizes won't be awarded today, but apparently, there will be four shows per day. The first three shows each produce a winner that goes on to the 7pm "Finals" show. The winner of that show, crowned the best singer of the day, gets a special "golden ticket" that allows her to go to any Idol audition in the country, and go directly to the front of the line.

The first girl to come perform is like, 15 or 16, and she does a great job even though she is singing "Colors of the Wind", on of my least favorite songs. The next guy does a forgettable country song (as in, I actually don't remember what it was) and the third chick does a loud version of "Independence Day". She starts off great, but loses it toward the end, but the crowd goes nuts anyway. The Lovely Steph Leann voted for the third chick, I went with the first one, but the third chick won out.

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I got to meet Frozone!

There is an Art of Disney show that I highly recommend, because... well, its really cool. Afterwards, though, you spill into an area to meet some characters and see some animation, and they have a few kids areas too. We heard that Rhino the Hamster and Bolt were going to be there, so we got in line--we were the last ones in line, as a matter of fact.


Its Rhino and Bolt! It was awesome! It was beyond awesome... it was.... BE-AWESOME!

On our Times Guide, "The Characters of The Incredibles" was listed as being there, and though I love me some Incredibles, we had already met Mr. Incredible and Elastagirl. But after our pics with Rhino and Bolt, I glanced up, and saw a familiar blue color. In a voice that sounded like I was eight, I giddily exclaimed, "Steph! Frozone is up there!"



We scurried up the walk, and there was Frozone! It was one of the coolest things ever!

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FOOD ALERT!!! For dinner, we traveled over to The Garden Grill, located at Epcot in The Lands. The Garden Grill is a character meal, but its known more for the restaurant itself. It spins. When I booked it, though, I was imagining a tower like building with a rotating top, much like the one that used to be in Florence, where I shared a dessert date with Mary Ann Crittenden in 2000.



The fact that I couldn't recall any such tall tower in Epcot, though, puzzled me. Its not in a tall tower, though... its on the 2nd floor of The Land (a building in Epcot that houses "The Circle of Life" ride, "Living with the Land" and "Soarin'") and when we first walked up, The Lovely Steph Leann says, "Oh, it must not be rotating tonight. That's too bad, I guess its broken."

So I ask our cast attendant about it, and he says, "No, its working!" I stared at the floor, at a small black seam on the floor at the top of the ramp. On the right side, the ramp was just there, not moving. On the left side, every so slightly, the floor was moving. You had to really look at it to tell, no doubt it took an hour or more for it to make a full revolution. There was the lower level of seats that was in a big circle, where you could overlook part of The Land lobby area, and another part of the circle allowed you to overlook the "Living with the Land" ride.

We sat on the second level, which was really just one step up. It was strange, because as I sat, there was a large rock on the outside of the "vehicle/restaurant", and twenty minutes later, I had to turn around and look behind me to see the same rock. The food was great, though. They served us roast beast, along with turkey and some other meat, potatoes (now, I'm not a huge fan of potatoes unless they are really creamy, but there were some rockin' creamed taters all over Walt Disney World) and some cranberry sauce that The Lovely Steph Leann was diggin'.


They even brought us Anniversary Dessert, which was really a cupcakey thing with a few candles on it. It was nice, though.

And on Sunday... its off to The Magic Kingdom!!

The 100 Coolest Things of 2008... 50 thru 41

NOTE: If you are reading this on facebook, click here to see the videos (they will not appear in facebook notes)

What the heck is Clouds in My Coffee? Click here to find out what the heck this is all about.

The Introduction and Recap
The 100th thru 91st Coolest Things of 2008
The 90th thru 81st Coolest Things of 2008
The 80th thru 71st Coolest Things of 2008
The 70th thru 61st Coolest Things of 2008
The 60th thru 51st Coolest Things of 2008

And now... we begin the Fifty Coolest Things of 2008

50. The SEC Championship Game



Go Gators! Go Gators! Go Gators! Go Gators!

49. Kourtney Kelley
This kid is just amazing. She's 21, one of the WalkAbout Hall of Famers (fyi, for the new coffee drinkers, WalkAbout is the name of the Valleydale Church (an sbc fellowship) middle school drama team that I've been honored to lead for almost a decade), and I've been amazed at her faithfulness for many, many years. Kourtney has two sisters, also WalkAbout alumni, but Kourtney is the one that I've ended up being the closest to over time.

Heck, I remember the day, when she was an 8th grader and she told me of how she planned on doing mission work with her life. Years later, she's a student at Carsen-Newman College and is planning on doing just that very thing... mission work with her life. And of course, at 21, she's still got the goofyness and silliness that comes with being just that old--and that's what makes her endearing.

She's easily someone you can use as a role model, and I'm only hoping that in however many years, The Lovely Steph Leann and I can have a daughter like the Kelley girls.


Hope she's okay with the fact she's one rank below...

48. "The Rock: The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment" on DVD
It's no secret that I have a mancrush on The Rock. He's the man. He... well, he rocks. I mean, I guess you could say he's my favorite actor, though I've never thought too much about that part, though I look back on his days in The WWE. My. Favorite. Wrestler. Ever.



So when this DVD was released, a 3 CD bastion of his greatest matches, greatest interviews and greatest moments in his WWE career, how could I turn that down??? I didn't. I went out and bought it the day it was available, and through my limited time, I watched a match here, a match there, and enjoyed every second of Thheeeeeeee Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment...

Listen up Jabronis...


That's right... an actual match, on Clouds in My Coffee. The Rock, the People's Champion wearing The People's Elbow... vs. Triple H, from April 30, 2000's WWE Backlash. For the WWE Championship.

And here's Part II of the match.


For the record, I can respect and understand why Dwayne Johnson would eventually want to drop "The Rock" from his name, and just be known as Dwayne Johnson. However, I think he totally should be Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Seriously. He'll always be The Rock.

He's actually only done ten or so movies, with a few more in post-production, according to his IMDB page. Here are three you should see...
1) "Walking Tall". Its a remake of the Buford Pusser (one of the greatest dirty sounding clean names ever) bio film, but its better, cause it has The Rock in it.
2) "Be Cool". Its a sequel to "Get Shorty", sort of, with John Travolta being funny, and The Rock being funnier.
3) "The Rundown". On the Dave100, and it stars The Rock. 'Nuff Said.

47. Jason & Emily Turnbow
When The Lovely Steph Leann and I were looking for a Sunday School class... excuse me, a LIFE CONNECTION class (you're welcome, Pastor Calvin)... we ended up in an "older" married class. I say older, because they had us by about four or five years, and they all had kids, and they were all in a stage of life we couldn't relate too, especially having been married only a year by then. We got wind of a "newly married" class starting up, so we joined. A year later, we, as a class, transitioned into the "young married", and our new leaders where this couple that I had seen before, but never met... he seemed cool enough, she was very pretty and seemed nice, and they had kids.


Who's luckier? I say he is. The Lovely Steph Leann may disagree. The real answer? I am. Ha!

It was then that Jason and Emily entered the life of The Lovely Steph Leann and d$. And we are forever blessed for it. They are a family that loves Jesus and lives fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator, and one of the things that I think I love the most about the Turnbows is how much they love each other. You can tell easily that Emily is all about her some Jason, and Jason in turn honors and respects Emily ultimately.

Anyway, it was this year I really felt like I wanted to mention them in the Top 100 Coolest... because they truly are two of the coolest, greatest people I know.

We'll be back to our Hallmark Channel special presentation after this break

46. Re-Reading "Salem's Lot" by Stephen King
Actually, it was listening to "Salem's Lot". I remembered really enjoying the book last year--in fact, it made the Top 100 Coolest Things of 2007 at #51. Truth be told, I don't look at last year's rankings when I make this years standings, but there is a reason it ranks higher the second time around...

I was listening to the audiobook, read by Ron McLarty--its very, very true that a good reader can make an audiobook, a bad reader can destroy one--who is an excellent reader. And the best part about it was... I was driving Toni Rocki Honda (my little car) down to Panama City Beach Thanksgiving week, overnight. And there aren't many things creepier than listening to a good, solid vampire story while driving in the middle of nowhere (try south of Ponce de Leon, Florida) in the middle of the night (try 2am).

By the way, "Salem's Lot" ranks right up there as one of my favorite novels by anyone.

45. Matt Halpert
There are many readers of Clouds that live in the area, and that know names I mention here and there--people like KT, J Rob, Paulie Walnuts, and so on. And there are those who read the blog--Mindy D'Andrea and Dixon come to mind--that don't have a clue what I'm even saying when I say "Matt Halpert", so its my job to make it real to those people.

Simply put... Matt Halpert is the 2nd funniest guy of 2008 in my humble opinion. Or not so humble, however you look at it. I know Matt mostly through his wife, The Dainty Steph Halpert, who is a friend of mine, and a good friend of The Lovely Steph Leann. The Dainty Steph Halpert teaches the youngsters and also works with me at The Happiest Place in the Mall, but Matt is the funny one. Not that she's not funny, but Matt has this dry humor that is just splendid.

Case in point... a group of us went to the drive-in a few years ago to see Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and Matt and The Dainty Steph Halpert rode with The Lovely Steph Leann and I down and back. After the movie, I asked Matt how he liked it... now you have to understand, the guy is a scientist who works on mice at UAB, and he goes on this hilarious (to us, perhaps not to him) rant on how wrong the science was in the movie.

"They became superhuman because their molecules changed? That's ridiculous! I mean, what does that even mean?"


Here's a snapshot of Matt, Mickey and The Dainty Steph Halpert. Matt is the one on the far left.

Sometimes he would come into Starbucks and start talking about his job, and I think he was making jokes, because he would say stuff and then laugh... I would laugh too, though I would have no idea what he was talking about. Later, The Dainty Steph Halpert would tell me she felt the same way. He's just a funny, funny guy.

fyi... I had a hard time with Stephanie Halpert. I mean, I had called her My Friend Stephanie, but no one remembers that band, so the humor is lost. And S'halpert didn't really work either. So, I thought about her for a moment, and didn't want to use an adjective greater than "Lovely" to describe her, because in my eyes, there is none Lovelier than Steph Leann. But I will tell you want Steph Halpert is... dainty. I looked it up. It means precious, it means delicate, it means... well girly. And to me, that describes Steph Halpert. Thus, a nickname is born.

44. "For Better or For Worse"
Some of my favorite comic strips nowadays include "Pickles", "Zits" and "Mother Goose & Grimm", but when I think back to growing up, my favorites then (and now, really) were "Garfield", "Peanuts"... and "For Better or For Worse".

It was started in September of 1979, centering around a family in Canada, the Pattersons. John and Elly were the parents, and when it started, Michael was around 5, and Elizabeth was 2 or 3. And, the story unfolded in real time. The strips were funny each day, but each strip built upon the last, and when I started reading it, somewhere in 1988 or 1989, Michael was a teenager, Elizabeth was on the verge, and a few years later, April was born.

It was a comic about a family. And it aged in real time. The kids grew up, just like I did. Babies were born, people graduated high school, people graduated college, people got married... just like I did. It was great.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that the strip had ended... Lynn Johnston, the strip's cartoonist, decided the story had gone far enough. And the very next day, the papers began to run the first strip from 1979.


Lynn Johnston's final original strip

Johnston's plan is simply to re-run the old strips in order, tweaking and fixing things along the way. And I'm looking forward to catching up and growing old with the Patterson Family... all over again.

43. "The Gingerbread Girl" by Stephen King
The final appearance of author Stephen King on the 2008 Coolest List is really just a short story. It appeared in the July 2007 edition of Esquire magazine, and now is among the stories in the "Just After Sunset" collection released this year.

Emily is a runner. She wasn't, until her baby suddenly dies, and her marriage falls apart, but now, running seems to be the only thing that soothes the pain. She's running down a lonely stretch of Vermillion Key, Florida, on the beach when she stumbles upon something she shouldn't have... and the runs into someone she doesn't want to run into.

And the story takes off. Its simple, really. Some of King's best work is not supernatural, its just good people taking on bad people, and sometimes the bad people win. And sometimes they don't. I read this story early in 2008, and it stuck in my head all year. Excellent.

42. Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga
Early in 2008, I finally got a Wii. And with the Wii, I got the game I really wanted... Star Wars Legos. And for over 75 hours (not straight), I sat with Wiimote in hand, chopping up bad guys with my light saber. Its a great game, as it takes you through six missions per Star Wars Episode, gaining characters and ships all along the way, earning credits, earning Gold Bricks, completing side missions and so on.



Its a fun little game, really... you're a Lego man. Or chick. And when you die, you fall apart like Legos do. Everything around you, save for the ground and sky, is made of Legos. Even the boulders that come after you have little studs and brick shapes all over them. The ships have those familiar snap-circles on the underside of them... and its a fun game to play, too.

Of course, imagine my surprise when I find out a few weeks ago that my game, with was almost 80 hours into and 98.4% complete had been erased. Instead, it said "Game 1: 2.4% complete." Seems like my wonderful little niece Madeliene, High School Music lover that she is, wanted to play Star Wars Legos. And she somehow saved over my game. Oh, to have the problems I have.

41. Sarah Palin
Ya know, I could go on and on about the things I like about Sarah Palin, and I could on and on about how stupid the McCain camp was by not just turning her loose and letting her be who she is, but I won't.

I really, really like Sarah Palin. And she gives me hope for the future, especially when President Obama gives me nothing close to resembling hope.

And Finally...