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Johnny Knoxville has opened about the loss of his tragic Jackass co-star Ryan Dunn in an emotional blog posted online, revealing he turned to his computer after words failed him at his friend's memorial service.
The TV prankster was killed in a high speed car crash in Pennsylvania last week and Knoxville was among the friends and family members who attended a special service in his memory two days after the tragedy.
Knoxville spoke at the memorial, but admits he struggled to find the words to describe how much his late pal meant to him, so he decided to write his feelings down in a note posted on his website titled 'In memory of Ryan... From Knoxville With Love'.
He writes, "At Ryan's memorial Wednesday... people were invited up to the microphone to say a few words about his life... I walked to the podium and tried to share memories of my dear friend, but the words were just spinning in my head. What came out were the mumblings of a man trying his best not to cry, and I wasn't even successful at that... Here is what I wished I could have told everyone then...
"I felt 34 per cent funnier when I was with Ryan, but I guess everyone did... He wasn't incapable of seriousness, though. Ryan was a great listener. If you were having troubles... Ryan also had an enormous capacity to love. His friends and family got a lot..."
Knoxville goes on to express his great sadness that his children, daughter Madison and son Rocko, as well as his unborn daughter due later this year, will miss out on spending time with Dunn: "I'm becoming upset now because this isn't right, Goddamnit. Ryan, I had to go wake up Madison and tell her you were gone. Do you know how hard that was?!!... Rocko will never get to know you like she did, nor will my daughter that is coming in October. I cry a lot about that."
He adds, "I'm hurting!! We all are because we loved you so much and now you're gone. I know your spirit lives on in me... but that's pretty tough to see right now through the tears. I'm starting to ramble now, just like I did at the memorial, so I'll stop... I'm just very sad because I lost my brother and my world got about 134 per cent less funny. "
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