A night of relaxation and celebration ended tragically last night at the Ozona Blue Grilling Company when several people, including AITC's own Spiritual Editor, Sheik Yorbuti were maliciously and willfully attacked by a dastardly Bananas Foster dessert. Yorbuti was in attendance gleefully rejoicing because he had put a cool thousand dollars on Ruler On Ice in the Belmont Stakes, and had even escaped the track unscathed after collecting his massive payoff without being struck once again by a Predator Drone.Unfortunately, the Sheik could not escape the fiery clutches of the hateful Bananas Foster that was being presented to an adjacent table. At some point, stunned witnesses indicate that the tasty, 151 rum based flammable dessert became terribly unstable and attacked Yorbuti with great vengeance and furious anger. The combination of the high alcohol rum in the dessert, combined with the high alcohol rum in the Sheik, resulting in a conflagration of tremendous proportions. An off-duty firefighter ran past the fully ignited Yorbuti to instead tend to a 25 year-old woman victim. He ripped her clothing off right in the restaurant indicating it just would be better that way when paramedics arrived to treat her burns.
Yorbuti, unfortunately the oily variety Spiritual Editor, was not skilled in the art of "Stop, Drop and Roll" and ran at high speed out the door, burning like an emergency road flare, and jumped into a nearby infidel's swimming pool. He remains in guarded condition at the cheapest hospital we could afford due to our health benefit packages being compromised by the poor economy. Witnesses could only confirm that although the menu was over-priced, the food a little bland and the service a little, well, incompetent, that the post-dining entertainment was more spectacular than anything they had seen at any David Blaine show. One Vietnam veteran from the air cav commented nostalgically that "There is nothing like the smell of failed dessert in the evening. It smelled like....victory."