asked about the naked girl

When conducting an interview with Leona Lewis, it is best to set a tape recorder running because, should you fall asleep with tedium (an absolutely certainty), you?ll still get a document of the words she says.

Alas, the problem is, is that, when you listen to those same words back, you?ll fall into a coma all over again, leaving you with a predicament. hecklerspray tends to rig a car battery to the soft, delicate skin of the genital area to keep us from wholly passing-out.

And yet, despite this, Leona Lewis has the audacity to suggest that she isn?t boring at all. She?s not boring, because she says she isn?t boring. Not because she actually wants to tell us of the non-boring things she indulges in. She won?t even talk about her curdling hatred of cats.

See, Leona is tired of being called ?boring? by people like us.

She knows that she?s quieter (not when she?s booming out some gut-spasming ballad, again) and less risque than pop stars like Lady GaGa, Rihanna and Daniel O?Donnell? hell? she probably knows that she?s less risque than a single, lonely glove, curling around around a fence post in the rain.

However, she thinks she has other things to offer to fans of her music.