INCONSOLABLE KIRSTIE ALLEY FEASTS ON PREAKNESS JOCKEYS AFTER "DWTS" DISS.

After Hines Ward took the ultimate glory on a show we would never watch, Alley became cold and distant {yes..more so}, and embarked on an eating spree that has possibly claimed the lives of at least 4 Preakness jockeys. Alley was sure that she would be crowned the winner of the rather hollow, useless carnival act posing as network programming, and after putting in so much physical work and keeping weight off as not to further crush her partner, had a devastating set-back during the early morning hours. It is hoped that at least a couple of the jockeys were able to seek shelter in nearby trees as Alley is not known as a 'climber.' Additional private security has been hired by all Preakness and pending Belmont jockeys, because given her metabolism and manic nature she is not expected to go into deep hiber-sleep after her most recent kills. Geez' at least Marlee Matlin only shanked a few street hobos.-this is just terrible.