PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON "PUNK" THE ENTIRE UK AND ELOPE TO LAS VEGAS.










Evidently the last straw was when the young Prince, future king, woke in a puddle of his own sweat after night terrors, screaming "Help..help...that freaky bloke with the blue hair is coming to get me!!!" A jet was readied where the royal couple was whisked away to Las Vegas where they were married by an Elvis impersonator {or WAS IT an impersonator??}. The groom was dressed smartly in an off-the-rack ensemble from Burlington Coat Factory-his lovely bride in a simple gown from Dress Barn. Their first dance was to "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" {performed by 'Elvis' himself}, followed by "The Chicken Dance and Rump-Shaker." A lovely prime rib and Jagermeister based meal was followed by hours of drunken blackjack, concluding with Prince Harry stealing Mike Tyson's pet tiger and a sacrificial live chicken. BTW-Raise your hands if you have seen enough of this royal wedding stuff when the whole world is going to shit. Last time we were in London it was dirty and nobody was even speaking English anymore. Somebody should also tell these kids that there is now some suggestion that marriage is the leading cause of divorce.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKKONgfNONU {All I wanna do is zoom-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom boom..}