MUHAMMAD IN THE BIBLE - That was the title of the book that set me off towards My Journey in discovering Islam.
A sprinkling of advice - Kindly detour if you think that this post is gonna be offensive. It is in no way intended to disrespect any one person or religion. Fulfilling requests of some.
------------------------------
It was sometime back in 1998 when a particular person came into my life, stayed on for a short while, lent me this book in the process, and then mysteriously disappeared until today. Try as I may, I can't seem to locate this person anymore, but I take it as a sign that 'it was just meant to be'.
At that point, I didn't know if I had a religion at all. Officially, I was a Muslim, converted to Islam for the sake of getting married. But my heart was void of religions. I strongly believed in God and knew he existed, but couldn't figure out the God of WHICH religion I actually believed in. I abstained from pork but at the same time prayed to Jesus in my heart. I was neither a Muslim nor Roman Catholic - the faith to which I was born into. I was confused.
As a Catholic, I went to church every Sundays without fail, got involved in certain Church activities (was even an alter-girl once), prayed like everybody else BUT, as I grew older, there were certain questions that lingered at the back of my head - unanswered questions that kept barking at me. Gradually, I realized the many things that I've been following, just because it had always been a part of my life since birth, did not quite add up. In the transition from my being a Roman Catholic to a Muslim, I might've been an Agnostic for a while there.
I've received a number of offers to write about my experiences. Throughout the years, many have become interested in my conversion. This being a controversial and sensitive topic to members of my family who are predominantly Catholics, I chose to leave it at a very low profile and whenever possible, never discussed this. I was always careful of not wanting to offend anybody, but I do think that RESPECT and SENSITIVITY should run both ways. A decent and level minded person should take into consideration that race and religion are controversial issues, especially when you're surrounded by people of other faiths. But now, situations have changed, and tolerances have withered- put in short: There's only so much I can take. My instincts tell me that I have the green light to spill out my experience here. And since this is my own personal blog, I believe I'm entitled to write topics of my choice. People who come here, choose to do so on their own accord by clicking on the link - contrary to being on Facebook, where you can't help reading certain postings as you scroll downwards. A gap of difference there.
Back to my story. Everyone I met wanted to know why....Muslims wanted to know what opened up my heart to accept Islam while Christians wanted to know why I denounced my faith. So here I share.
I'd like to highlight that my total acceptance of Islam only took place in 1998 - that's 4 years after I got married. Prior to that, I did mention to Sunny that I was only converting to Islam for the purpose of marriage. "I can never accept Islam, Yang..." I was honest to him and he did not have any qualms about it.
All my life, I used to pray to Jesus, but never looked upon Jesus as God or Son of God. Whenever I looked at statues of Jesus or holy pictures of him, I COULDN'T convince myself that I was in fact, looking at God - whom I believed, was a superior creator that did not look or resemble anyone on Earth. Today, I still love Jesus as someone very special as he is revered as one of the 5 most important Prophets of all time, according to the Quran.
Then there's the Hail Mary prayer. Reciting the rosary, I used to skip the part of "Holy Mary MOTHER OF GOD". There were things that I just wouldn't accept, and Mary being hailed as the 'Mother of God' strictly didn't sound correct to me. Mother of Jesus, yes. Once again, God is the Almighty Supreme and if Mary was the mother of God, then she must be of a higher standing and more superior than God, as all Mothers are! These awakenings about my own faith, roots back to the mid 80's when I started questioning myself. Therefore, my husband played no part in my Twist of Faith, as we hadn't even met then.
Remembering the Hymn "We are happy Christians all united in the Lord, we belong to one family...." I couldn't figure out the reason of other Christian denominations. Where was the 'unity' when probably the only thing all had in common, were their mutual belief that Jesus was God the Saviour. Even a Catholic's crucifix differs from other Christians. This, I just found out - some other denominations DO NOT accept Catholicism to be part of the Christian family. Stunned, I was. The Virgin Mother's holy conception is also rejected by some Christians, whereby in Islam, the Quran tells of the Immaculate Conception, signifying Mary playing a very important role in Islam. The purest among others, She is an example and sign for all people.
Another important factor that I couldn't grasp was why did Jesus have to suffer and die on the cross in order for the gates of heaven to be opened. Why did God have to sacrifice his one and only Son for mortals to gain entry into heaven? GOD is powerful and merciful - why did his Son have to DIE first? " For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16) ....The connection is not there. The logic is almost similar to me telling my children to fast for 3 days if they wanted to invite friends into my home! Rationale?
An ex-Catholic who's joined another Christian denomination also told me that Jesus' crucifixion was the reason why we can all go into heaven. And when I asked what would happen to those who were born before Jesus, he said they had no chance of going up there. I can't comment on that particular statement of his because I have no idea if there were any truth in what he was saying or otherwise.
Anyways, let's get to the part of the night when I was lying down in bed reading 'Muhammad In The Bible'. It's a pity I can't quote that particular verse from the bible in reference to the coming of another Prophet after Jesus. That book has since, mysteriously disappeared - just like the person who gave it to me.
Prior to that, I had been reading a lot of books on Islam and was surprised to see it's similarities to Christianity. Very similar indeed, starting from Adam and Eve right up to the point of Isa Al Masih (Jesus). That's where it ends in the Bible, but in the Quran, it continues with Muhammad. And on that day, in the stillness of the night, I found a new kind of peace and lightness that I've never felt before.
So, it was in the middle of the night and everyone was asleep while I read. I don't know how, but my hands just opened up that particular part of the book and read it. Almost instantly, I felt waves of tears gushing out of my eyes. Gosh, how do I put that experience into words? I had rejected Muhammad all this while, and here I was starring at something so obvious. It was then that I remembered coming across a similar verse in the Bible years ago. It just didn't ring a bell then. This was a feeling that was so overpowering and unexplainable. Everything just fell into place. Jesus did mention the coming of Muhammad s.a.w but why were people denying it? I put the book down and declared ever so passionately "Asyadu ala illaha illallah wa Asyadu ana Muhammadar Rasulullah". Allah has opened up my heart.
After a while, there were people who realized the changes in me, but were not happy about it. One even went to the extreme and declared "Since you've become a Muslim, why are you always not feeling well..." Mentalities of such people never cease to amaze me. Was she trying to tell me that I've never been ill or never experienced sadness when I used to be a Christian? Was she speaking as an Atheist or a Christian? Because as far I know, Christians and Muslims alike, believed in trials, tribulations, temptations, sicknesses and 'ups n downs' as part of 'tests' from God. The more he loves you, the more he tests you. Yes, I have been through these. And I'm still going through it and I know that as long as we breathe, we are never gonna escape from tests. In fact, the bitter truth is, EARTH is like a huge examination hall, where we come across tests after tests with short breaks and time-offs in between. All these has made me a stronger person, knowing that Allah is testing my faith. And in times when it gets too hard, I find myself only closer to him in prayer. There were many times during deep concentration in doa, where I felt that slight shudder and I knew that He was there. The presence is just too strong to be denied, ignored or justified with other reasons.
On Being Judgemental
Alcohol is as HARAM as pork. And whatever that has been declared Haram by the Quran, there are valid reasons attached to it. People don't 'get it' why some Muslims consume alcohol and some don't, "Why must you fast while he doesn't"... I've gotten used to these questions and honestly, I blame them not, when they ask. Instead, I think Muslims who don't practice their faith properly are the ones to be blamed for projecting false ideas to others. I've never asked - why do some Catholics not consume meat on Fridays but some do? Also how for some, it's a MUST to go to Church every Sundays or a big sin otherwise, while my late Godfather didn't deem it to be necessary....I even know of some regular Hindus who enjoy a good beef rendang too. I've never judged them.
Being a person who believes in God and Religion, I therefore respect others' beliefs. I would never serve meat to any Catholics on Fridays (If they're abstaining)- and that includes NOT putting in beef/chicken flavored cubes into whatever I'm cooking for them.
Here's another... A Muslim who prayers 5 times a day and abide by the rules and laws of Islam are often labelled Old Fashioned, Uncool, An Extremist and sometimes to the extent of being put in the same category as a Terrorist! On the contrary, the Muslim who does everything un-Islamic, (the gambler, the alcoholic, the adulteress, the one whose blouse buttons start from mid-rift downwards, etc) is considered modern, good, smart, and freakin' cool! How lost can we be? Serious question there, worth reflecting upon.
People complain, saying that there are too many rules of 'do's and dont's attached to Islam. Some even say that being a Muslim is like being a prisoner in this world. As I said earlier, there are reasons behind everything that we are prohibited from eating or doing.
Allah is not a sadist, contrary to what some people think. You may wanna question the Crucifixion then...
